Ever since the days of Saint Ronnie, we've been listening to the claims of a
"conservative majority" in this country. Whenever reality gets in the way of
this argument, conservatives blame their candidates--Dole, Bush I, McCain all
lost because they weren't "true conservatives", and/or lousy campaigners (which
of course some of them were), but NOT because the values of the rabid
conservatives are in fact a minority ideology. Well, I for one am tired of
hearing this argument rehashed. It's time to settle this question once and for
all, so we can take stock of the national will, and move in that direction. I
think that Santorum's nomination offers a way out of this impasse.
Say what you will about Rick Santorum, at least his political philosophy has
been consistent over his career, and utterly representative of the religiously
conservative "culture war" mentality. For those on the right whose fuzzy
memories recall Reagan as an embodiment of their values (he wasn't, by the
way), Rick Santorum qualifies as a political Second Coming. If Romney or
Gingrich get the nomination, then those proponents will be off the hook yet
again--since both are direly flawed as candidates, and of course neither is the
earnest representative of those values that Santorum is. If they indeed see it
as a culture war, then Santorum is the best champion they've had in
decades--even if we know that the only reason he might win the nomination is
because of the incredible weakness of his opponents.
Some of you worrywarts out there express concern that Rick Santorum might
actually beat Obama in the general election. I think that supposition is
absurd--Santorum is far enough out of the mainstream that he lost his Senate
seat in the 2006 election by double digits. His paleolithic brand of morality
is going to run off fiscally-conservative-but-socially-moderate Republicans
like an Ebola virus outbreak, ESPECIALLY women. He will be the Republicans' own
George McGovern--the bellwether Democratic candidate that proved that the
hippies WEREN'T going to take over the government, and drove liberals toward a
pragmatism that embraced Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and now Barack Obama. (NOT
to in any way compare McGovern the man--a wonderfully forthright and virtuous
man--to a dick like Santorum!)
My hope is that, as a youthful True Believer, Santorum will inspire a millenial
rise of the faithful to once and for all "take back our country"--which will
result in their decisive and humiliating defeat. This in turn will drive the
religiously dogmatic hordes back to taking solace in their religion in the face
of an unreceptive World, and praying for the Apocalypse so God will come and
right things Himself--the way they used to back in the pre-Reagan days. Such an
election will allow the Religious Right to remember that Jesus said this is
indeed a wicked and indifferent World, but that the faithful are still entitled
to their kingdom in their hearts and in the hereafter--but NOT in these here
United States of America.
So like I said, let's call it what it is, a culture war. Let the true right wing
have their champion, then let him have a shot. This is a country moving
persistently toward the legalization of marijuana and gay marriage, with a
vibrant pornography industry, more "illegitimate" and mixed race children than
ever, and a notable surfeit of actual church-goers. I'm ready to rumble--LET'S
BRING IT ON!!!
[daily kos]
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0p4_GGDbS0
Ezekiel 23:20