Nazis, Communists, Islamite, Protestant, and Republicans are my Disciples.
Satan
I wish to extend my heartfelt thanks and congratulations to all of you! Your
continued support is greatly appreciated by all of your future associates within
the Flaming Gates of Hell.
I wish to honor you all with a brief mention of your most recent achievements.
I just beam with pride when I think of them:
To my Nazi friends for twenty-five million hard-won democides, a purity of
hatred and evil so carefully crafted, and your heartfelt Occult symbolism. I
wept when I saw your work so unjustly interrupted.
To my Communist comrades for one hundred million liquidations, evil unique and
polished, and your iron discipline. I know that you do not yet believe in me or
my main protagonist but I don't mind, really! You will all come around someday!
To my Islamite nomads of the desert for your sneaky way of blowing people up
when their guard is down. You prove once and for all that the phrase Satanic
Verses and the Koran are synonyms. Satan Akbar!!! I extend my foot for you to
kiss!
To my Protestant brethren for your hard work during the Thirty Years War,
witch-burnings, encouraging your women to get abortions, your heretical beliefs,
and your haughtiness. The future for you looks dark!
To my Catholic flock for, ooh--my favorite, the Inquisition! I cannot get
enough of your pedophile priests, all steeped in gayness, queer eye for the
newspaper guy!
To my Republican friends for slave wages to overseas workers, use of world
child-labor for profit, pureness of greed and avarice, the ability to believe in
your own lies, and general exploitative, arrogant ways. You are one camel that
won't fit through the eye of God's needle! Greedbags par excellence! Keep it
up!
You shall all feel the full warmth that I extend to all who are sent to my
lair!!!]
To the rest of you!
OBEY ME!!!
I COMMAND YOU!!!
666
17
SATAN
aka. The Devil, Mephistopheles, Allah, Lucifer, Diablo, Old Nick, Buddha