Scotch XMAS Novelties 2009
Robert Henderson
Darien Colony Monopoly
A board game where players attempt to get the English to rescue a
forlorn and absurd Scotch attempt to set up a colony in South America.
The game proceeds by throwing dice.
Players pretend that Scotchland is independent while imagining that
nonetheless the English will come to their rescue with gold and military
force. The winner is the player able to get his hands on the most
English gold and military support.
Many enthralling twists and turns including opportunities to steal
Scotch money held by players representing the Scotch promoters of the
colony.
John Law House of Cards Set
Players are issued with cards representing money
In turn they keep placing them on top of one another
until the house collapses. The player putting the card
on which causes the collapse is named John Law and wins.
SNP Jock-in-a-box
Open the box and up pops Alex Salmond. Makes the same excruciating
whine wherever and whenever activated .
RBS Video game
Players start with a small provincial Scotch bank and attempt to
enlarge it as quickly as possible. No heed need be paid to the long-term
viability of the bank.
Players choose between three levels which are in descending order of
difficulty :
Level 3 Prudential
Level 2 Reckless
Level 1 Criminally Reckless
Players will find it is next to impossible to win on level 3 but
extremely easy on level 1.
Barnett Formula Piggy Bank
An ingenious to toy ideal for teaching children the value of English
money.
The bank accepts both Scotch and English money but only allows English
money to be taken out.
Wee Pretendy Parliament Model
A scale model of the building funded with English money.
Animatronic model MSPs representing all parties are included but
all are programmed with the same phrases, including such Caledonian
favourites as "It's all the fault of t' Anglish", "It isnae fair", "Gi'
us more t'Anglish money". A good range of Scotch voices used by the
dolls running from Knappish to RP Laird.
Prudence Action Doll
Take the role of Gordon Brown
Stuff Prudence full of English money
Then watch her burst.
HBOS Magician's set
Watch in amazement as the Halifax Society
is transformed from a profitable, solvent English
company into a crippled Scotch-run insolvent ruin.
Simply add BoS solution to Halifax to operate.
Warning: BoS solution is toxic.
AVAILABLE FROM THE TARTANWORLD EMPORIUM
HURRY! Hurry! Hurry! WHILE SCOTCHLAND LASTS
--
Robert Henderson
Personal website: http://www.anywhere.demon.co.uk
Halmyre
wrote:
> Scotch XMAS Novelties 2009
>
<snip>
Fx: Wind blows, tumbleweed rolls, bell tolls in distance.
--
Halmyre
Paul C
It was any funnier when he posted this tripe last year.
GM
> Paul C <pa...@omne.uk.net> wrote in news:4ke2i55sfo37nvis4np46ggi9r3s4q2gl4
> @4ax.com:
He does have a very limited imagination.
GMc
Eddie the one
wrote:
It's a christmas tradition.
His new year one is nailing a scotchman's feet to the floor and
putting a Jimmy Shand record on the phonograph.
Oh how he laughs.