HELP!! How do I convince my boyfriend not to punish our bunny?
Baerana
She's great and we both love her.
When she does something "naughty" I don't punish her. If she chews
something i dont' want chewed, I stick a chew toy in front of her and
she goes at it. If she pees somewhere bad, I clean it up and give her
mucho praise when she goes in her box. Thanks to that, after the first
week, she has had almost no "accidents". So, I think my method works.
The only punishment I would ever use is a squirt water bottle or water gun.
My boyfriend doesn't approach things the same way. He puts her in her
cage when she is "naughty" - I don't think her cage should EVER be used
as a punishment. He also "taps" her when she does something (he calls
it tapping, I call it smacking). He says he's barely touching her and
it doesn't hurt her. Still, I don't like it and I've asked him to stop.
He keeps telling me it's the best thing. How do I convince him otherwise?
I don't think it can be good for the bunny. For one thing, when my
boyfriend tells her "no" or seems annoyed, she runs and hides behind me.
I want her to trust him as well as she trusts me, 'cause I'm sometimes
sick and he has to take care of her.
Please, any advice, websites, anecdotes, etc. that I could show him so
he can understand why it's never ok to punish a bunny would be REALLY
appreciated. He's really a very kind, gentle person who has always said
children should never be punished physically or by being scared, so
what's the difference with the bunny?
Orchid
way you've done it is actually the proper way. Every now and then, when one
of my bunnies decide that they like the taste of flesh, I will raise my
voice in pain and let out a painful yelp of "NO!" but I never say, "Bad
bunny!" or anything like that. Sometimes instead of "no" I'll say "OWIE!"
and bunny gets the message. Once bunny lets go I give bunny praise. Lots of
praise and lovin.
Keep in mind that a bunny's skeletal structure is very delicate as are their
internal organs. They're not like humans where if someone hauled off and hit
us, we don't have the risk of our organs being damaged easily. our skeletal
structures are stronger and bigger. A rabbit's bones are thinner and more
delicate.... all it would take would be for him to "tap" her in just the
right way and next thing you have is a broken rib, broken leg, broken
back.... Rabbits will always fear predators. to your bunny, your bf is a
predator. She fears him because of his own actions towards her. She trusts
you because you've made it clear that you're not a "predator" and are rather
a fellow bunny in many ways. My rabbit, Todd, was terribly abused. When we'd
try to pick him up, he'd flatten his ears against his head and go down as
low as he could. sometimes he'd roll onto his back and start "boxing" in
order to ward us off. if heaven forbid our hand came within 5 miles of his
face, we could always expect a very sharp and painful surprise! I'm not
quite sure how we broke him of that habit but we did.... now, he lets us
pick him up, lets us rub his face and cheeks and scritch his ears.... Every
now and then he decides he's gonna act like a cat and bite us or scratch us
but that's ok, we can generally avoid that by doing exactly what he wants
immediately (as in 5 seconds ago!) and then all is good. Keep in mind that
like with a child or an adult that's been abused, your bunny will one day
start fighting back. your bf might not like it. bunny may bite, kick,
scratch and do anything else necessary to keep your bf away. She'll distrust
*everyone* because in her mind, you're nice but he's not. Rabbits remember
everything. So the next time that she is naughty, she'll end up terrified
because of his mistreatment of her. And like with any creature, if someone
mistreats them and conditions them to fear a place that should be a
sanctuary, you'll meet with a lot of strong resistence. a rabbit's cage is
their "safe place" of protection. If your bf uses it as punishment, I
guarantee that it'll be impossible to get bunny back into the cage when
she's done playing and has to go nighty night.
This is my best advice.... keep your bf away from your bunny unless he can
treat her good. treat that bunny as if she were a human child. do what you
have to in order to protect her.
Good luck.
"Baerana" <use...@baerana.com> wrote in message
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Shan
"Baerana" <use...@baerana.com> wrote in message
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> Hi. My boyfriend and I got a baby New Zealand White about 2 months ago.
> She's great and we both love her.
>
> When she does something "naughty" I don't punish her. If she chews
> something i dont' want chewed, I stick a chew toy in front of her and
> she goes at it. If she pees somewhere bad, I clean it up and give her
> mucho praise when she goes in her box. Thanks to that, after the first
> week, she has had almost no "accidents". So, I think my method works.
> The only punishment I would ever use is a squirt water bottle or water
gun.
Your method seems good to me, except for the water bottle or water gun.I
have never agreed (just my opinion) with water bottles, they seem to scare
more than to "teach". Somebody will use them in extreme situations to
separate bunnies that are fighting (e.g. bonding process ), but even then, I
would think that the lid of a carboard box would do the trick, no need to
use a water bottle IMO.
>
> My boyfriend doesn't approach things the same way. He puts her in her
> cage when she is "naughty" - I don't think her cage should EVER be used
> as a punishment. He also "taps" her when she does something (he calls
> it tapping, I call it smacking). He says he's barely touching her and
> it doesn't hurt her. Still, I don't like it and I've asked him to stop.
> He keeps telling me it's the best thing. How do I convince him
otherwise?
I understand that you are in a difficult situation, but you have no choice
but to sit down with your boyfriend and talk to him. Explain him how
delicate and fragile bunnies are and how wrong it is to "teach" anything to
any animal with physical violence. Yes, smacking a rabbit or any other
animal is physical abuse to me.
Don't ask him to stop, TELL him to stop or you'll end up with a very unhappy
and hurt bunny.Tell him that bunnies are very responsive to a sweet calm
voice,they love "whispered words" .I can easily guess that he also yells at
her when he is angry.Wrong, rabbits are also very sensitive to loud noises
and yelling at her will only simply scare her and caunse more stress than he
can imagine! Stress can also be fatal to a bunny...
.
What you described is very sad and, and I personally would never put up with
it.
What you can do, is probably quote his own words when explaining him why
what he is doing is wrong. If he thinks that children should never be
punished physically (I agree on that too), then....what's the difference?
Both children and animals are innocent and defenseless, using power or anger
to "teach" them something, will never work. Your bunny will never respect or
love him, she will ONLY ever fear him!
If your boyfriend cannot learn how to respect her, then, it's up to you, you
have to keep him away from the bunny, you have no choice but have the duty
to protect her!
I wish I could help more, but my "help" would definitely result in
suggesting a drastic solution...and I don't think it's my place to do
so...again...it's up to you!
Shan
Arlette & Cocoa
except that you are to be feared. Rabbits are also delicate and could be
injured.
Your boyfriend needs to start thinking like a rabbit and understanding why
they do what they do. Rabbits don't conform to our way of thinking, WE must
understand them, so that we can encourage them to change their habits to
ways we can tolerate.
The method you've been using is the right way, but you both must do it or
the rabbit will be confused and will exhibit behaviours because it is
frustrated.
Rabbits aren't like cats and dogs in the way they think, because they are
prey animals. Even cats and dogs train much easier using positive
reinforcement rather that fear and punishment.
Perhaps your boyfriend is feeling a big jealous by your attention to the
rabbit. It does happen.
--
God Bless,
Arlette, Cocoa & Brownie in spirit (See us here
http://photos.yahoo.com/cocoa3c
Need a vet? Click here
<http://www.rabbitvet.net>
Support the licensing of bicillin in the UK.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ProbicillinUK/
There is no blessing from God so sweet as having
two chocolate coloured bunnies melting in your lap
in the warm morning sun.
Fifi
>
> Hi. My boyfriend and I got a baby New Zealand White about 2 months ago.
> She's great and we both love her.
>
> When she does something "naughty" I don't punish her. If she chews
> something i dont' want chewed, I stick a chew toy in front of her and
> she goes at it. If she pees somewhere bad, I clean it up and give her
> mucho praise when she goes in her box. Thanks to that, after the first
> week, she has had almost no "accidents". So, I think my method works.
> The only punishment I would ever use is a squirt water bottle or water gun.
>
> My boyfriend doesn't approach things the same way. He puts her in her
> cage when she is "naughty" - I don't think her cage should EVER be used
> as a punishment. He also "taps" her when she does something (he calls
> it tapping, I call it smacking). He says he's barely touching her and
> it doesn't hurt her. Still, I don't like it and I've asked him to stop.
> He keeps telling me it's the best thing. How do I convince him otherwise?
>
> I don't think it can be good for the bunny. For one thing, when my
> boyfriend tells her "no" or seems annoyed, she runs and hides behind me.
> I want her to trust him as well as she trusts me, 'cause I'm sometimes
> sick and he has to take care of her.
LOL!!! Lucky he doesn't have access to any of Plugger's buttplugs.
Maybe he's got a case of MBP.
>
> Please, any advice, websites, anecdotes, etc. that I could show him so
> he can understand why it's never ok to punish a bunny would be REALLY
> appreciated. He's really a very kind, gentle person who has always said
> children should never be punished physically or by being scared, so
> what's the difference with the bunny?
Withdraw sexual privileges until he gets the hint.
--
Freddie 'fag' Shorts
I'm loud and I'm proud. I'm gay and I like it that way!
Another proud buttplug owner. Honk if your horny!
I support Gay Pride! The Ramrod rocks! Kerry sux!
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Judith Gordon
This is going to be a test of your relationship and I'm glad you started
this before kids. My goodness, if you can't work it out for a bunny,
then kids would be a first class disaster.
I think sometimes some people need to take control and can't do nothing.
Also men tend to be more of the disciplinarian in traditional
arangements. Perhaps the approach is to give him alternate ways of
disciplning as top bunny using bunny language. Tell him to try thumping
his foot on the floor when she misbehaves. that is a loud and clear
bunny signal that the behavior is wrong. My male rabbit Arnie used it
all the time raising his kits and they minded him because he would box
them with his paws when they didn't. Maybe offer him the alternative of
paw boxing, ie wiggling his fingers in front of the bunny's face instead
of actually touching. My husband uses this as well and they mind him.
they also love him very much.
If you two can't come to an agreement and he keeps doing things to the
rabbit that distress you, dump him and move on. He'll do the same with
your kids.
Judith (Divorced him with the kids in my custody and no access due to
his abusive behavior.)
Arwen and Sproing
(Thump! Thump!)
Professor
> He also "taps" her when she does something (he
calls
> it tapping, I call it smacking). He says he's barely touching her and
> it doesn't hurt her. Still, I don't like it and I've asked him to stop.
> He keeps telling me it's the best thing. How do I convince him otherwise?
Don't have Children with him.
--
Professor & Da boys 8-) :-P ;-)
Laurie
should expect them to act like a human two year old. Best thing you can do
is to keep them safe by expecting them to get into everything -- harmful and
otherwise -- and to do the things you don't want them to do. Diversion is
the best, most effective choice. but if they do something naughty, all you
can do is raise an eyebrow and sigh and maybe say "no" sharply.
Never completely effective when Jon was two - he was a biter. LOL Worse than
bunnies!
Laurie and the girls
Baerana
Not a concern, I can't have children :) Nor do I want any. Pets are a
much higher return on the investment :)
Baerana
things, but yesterday I sat him down, showed him these responses, and
said, "i know you think tapping her is ok, but it isn't, and if you
can't believe that, at least humor me and stop doing it!" He promised
he would and he's never broken a promise to me yet.
I think Arlette may have had a point about jealousy though - one of the
pet terms I use for my boyfriend is "muffin" and the other day I called
Nibbler my "fluffy muffin" and my BF got kinda gruff. Gotta pay
attention to this!
Again, thanks for the help!!
Arlette & Cocoa
get away with it, but I rag on him for little things. Men have sensitive
egos and want to feel like they are first.
I tell Raymond that Cocoa is cuter, so he can get away with stuff...hee hee
Mickey
bun. tapping will not teach her anything but fear. i firmly believe the
same goes for kids.
however, i think putting your bun in their cage for a short "time out" when
she does something she isn't supposed to would not be harmful. it's not
hurting her. it lets her know that whatever the behavior is, it is not an
acceptable one and will be dealt with in the same fashion each time.
i wish i had done the same when thumper started chewing on my
couch........:(
mickey, morgan, thumper & dipper
"Baerana" <use...@baerana.com> wrote in message
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Sue French
effective method of modifyong behavior.
--
Sue, Flurry, and Max
http://home.nycap.rr.com/safrench/
replace x with sc to reply
"Baerana" <use...@baerana.com> wrote in message
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Marissa
> Thanks for the help everyone! I'd told him before not to do these
> things, but yesterday I sat him down, showed him these responses, and
> said, "i know you think tapping her is ok, but it isn't, and if you
> can't believe that, at least humor me and stop doing it!" He promised
> he would and he's never broken a promise to me yet.
>
> I think Arlette may have had a point about jealousy though - one of the
> pet terms I use for my boyfriend is "muffin" and the other day I called
> Nibbler my "fluffy muffin" and my BF got kinda gruff. Gotta pay
> attention to this!
>
> Again, thanks for the help!!
>
Good job on the communication with your boyfriend! I too have a problem
with the pet names thing. I always call my hubby Honey and when I got
Buster, he became Honey Bunny so hubby got a little jealous. That doesn't
mean I stopped doing it though . ;)
Marissa
D. Stussy
> Hi. My boyfriend and I got a baby New Zealand White about 2 months ago.
> She's great and we both love her.
>
> When she does something "naughty" I don't punish her. If she chews
> something i dont' want chewed, I stick a chew toy in front of her and
> she goes at it. If she pees somewhere bad, I clean it up and give her
> mucho praise when she goes in her box. Thanks to that, after the first
> week, she has had almost no "accidents". So, I think my method works.
> The only punishment I would ever use is a squirt water bottle or water gun.
Insufficient. You need to do things like say "no" when the bad behavior is
engaged in, or for peeing outside of the box, clean it up, but then put the
rabbit in the litter box and let her smell the paper towel that has the urine on
it WHILE still in the litter box.
> My boyfriend doesn't approach things the same way. He puts her in her
> cage when she is "naughty" - I don't think her cage should EVER be used
> as a punishment. He also "taps" her when she does something (he calls
> it tapping, I call it smacking). He says he's barely touching her and
> it doesn't hurt her. Still, I don't like it and I've asked him to stop.
> He keeps telling me it's the best thing. How do I convince him otherwise?
"Tapping" should be with a single finger, if at all; anything more than that and
it is too hard. It should be reserved only for the WORST of things, such as
when the rabbit bites you and you bleed as a result (yes, that has happened
around here). Pissing outside the box or chewing something she shouldn't are
not "tappable" offenses.
Anything else or too hard, and the rabbit will not learn that he/she was bad,
but will learn instead that you are an enemy that needs to be bitten, and that's
a nasty circle to go down.
> I don't think it can be good for the bunny. For one thing, when my
> boyfriend tells her "no" or seems annoyed, she runs and hides behind me.
> I want her to trust him as well as she trusts me, 'cause I'm sometimes
> sick and he has to take care of her.
>
> Please, any advice, websites, anecdotes, etc. that I could show him so
> he can understand why it's never ok to punish a bunny would be REALLY
> appreciated. He's really a very kind, gentle person who has always said
> children should never be punished physically or by being scared, so
> what's the difference with the bunny?
I don't agree that it's "never OK to punish a rabbit" - but note that I have had
one rabbit that would do what He could to "punish me!" Whenever I was bad (by
removing Him from a "no rabbit zone" room of my house), He'd immediately run
under the dining room table and piss - without fail, just to get even with me.
I do agree that under normal circumstances, anything bad that a rabbit can do,
short of a bleeding bite, can be handled without physical punishment.
K P
abuse towards them.