Average lifespan of email penpal
blaze
it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
Andrew Jenkins
your area? I've been lurking (yeah, I know the drill) here for weeks
and haven't sen a single posting from a woman in my location, nor any
from any women within a reasonable driving distance. E-mail relation-
ships can only go so far. IMHO, it's a touchable, human relationship
that people desire, and so the interest slowly falls way...
regards,
Andy
Dada
: and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
: Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
Not necessarily. What I think happens, and it happens to the best of us,
is that the one time you read e-mail and say "I'll reply to it later,"
something suddenly comes up and you forget to reply, and the other person
never sends another one because they are awaiting your reply...
If a person stops e-mailing me, I'll send, over time, 2 to 3 messages,
and then get the hint <grin>... SOmetimes >I< am too busy to reply to a
message right away, and it ends up that I rarely go back to old messages,
so if I am at fault and forget to write someone I regularly write, they
usually know tos end me something again :)
--
dada of tzara
URL: http://www.mcs.net/~ibc/home/dasa.htm (DAda and SAmnation homepage)
Mark D. Garfinkel
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
anywhere from nine days to three weeks to go from egg to adult, depending
upon culture conditions, but the adult-phase animals can live up to two
months.
As for e-mail "relationships," it really varies quite a lot. Some
of mine have lasted for over two years, but these involve phone calls & the
occassional visit as well. Other e-mail relationships, such as those arising
from this newsgroup, can be as simple as a brief conversation -- two or three
rounds of messages and then the immediate topic is *done.* But if one lingers
in the newsgroup, other e-mail conversations with the same people eventually
arise.
Mark
--
Mark D. Garfinkel (e-mail: mg...@midway.uchicago.edu)
(c) 1995; all rights reserved. Permission granted for Usenet quotation
with attribution.
Jim Dutton
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>
-Jeem
========================================================================
Steatopygias's 'R' Us. doh#0000000005 That ain't no Hottentot.
Sesquipedalian's 'R' Us. ZX-10. AMA#669373 DoD#564. There ain't no more
========================================================================
blaze
blaze
away. unless of course you want someone that is just around the corner. I
have written people all over the country and met many. I just wonder why
someone writes and intensifies the letters to the point you are talking
about meeting and then just skips...why bother to get to that point.
blaze
seems to be about gettin to know one another, as real people not just
someone inside a computer. at any rate at least the topic has gotten
folks to start replying here.. I knew there had to be Chi folks around
somewhere
Dada
Could be a couple of reasons. First that I can think of (and know
through experience from when I met people who I was introduced to over
the net) is either they lied about their nature or appearance (usually
appearance) and don't want to fork over the truth they they are not Brad
Pitt/Pamela Anderson look-alikes.
Also, some people have great self-esteem when hiding behind their
monitor. But when it comes time to leave the keyboard, they lock up in a
shell. Not that it's a bad trait, just one that's fairly common...
Dan Bolognani
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
here my first reply to a message (no one answered my original post).
I have someone on cserve I have been writing to on and off for six
months now sometimes its weeks before we'll write but so far we are still
staying in touch.
Sometimes I get busy and just dont have time to even sit and do
anything on this machine, my wife already thinks I spend to much time
here, I really dont compared to some people.
here's hoping to beet the record Dan
John Monk
says...
>
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
Anyone ever notice how people take their own personal experience and try to
promote it as "average" or common?
Him Again
>
Stella Rogers
>
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
I used to think the same thing, until I met someone that I totally hit it
off with in November 1994. We finally met face to face in January 1995,
800 emails later. He came to visit every weekend for 4 months, he lived
140 miles away and in May 1995 he got a new job in Orlando, moved in with
me and one day we plan to get married!!! My mother always nagged me about
getting out, "You are not going to find the man of your dreams staying at
home!!" Boy was she wrong, I have definitely found the man of my dreams!
So, don't give up, because good things definitely come to those who wait!!!
Good Luck!
Christine
blaze
having one of those stories <G>...but the man has turned into
disappearing ink.. best of luck
blaze
that at someone after some interest is developing. I know folks hide
behind the computer screen and that is fine if you choose to stay that
way. But then you shouldnt push about meeting if you never intend to.
Candy-Colored Clown
>From: cha...@gtech.com (Clint H.)
>Subject: Re: Average lifespan of email penpal
>Date: 8 Jul 1995 02:24:40 GMT
>In article <3ti5sj$j...@nntp.interaccess.com>, bas...@interaccess.com
>says...
>>
>>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>>
>I had a pen-gal for over a year! Then she lost her computer in a nasty
>divorce. I sure miss our discussions.
>Clint
I also have noticed that e-mail penpals disappear after about 2 weeks. Upon
further investigation, I have discovered that they actually HAVE disappeared.
Neighbors, family, and friends claim to have never heard of the person.
Credit records, birth certificates, entire personal histories appear to have
been wiped clean. I believe that a sinister conspiracy is underway, headed by
the Persons Against Perpetrating Similar Meaningless Endeavors And Rendezvous
(P.A.P.S.M.E.A.R.). We in the Chicago area must stick together. Do not
become e-mail penpals. That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A CANDY-COLORED CLOWN THEY CALL THE SANDMAN"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David W. Garber
>I also have noticed that e-mail penpals disappear after about 2 weeks. Upon
>further investigation, I have discovered that they actually HAVE disappeared.
>Neighbors, family, and friends claim to have never heard of the person.
>Credit records, birth certificates, entire personal histories appear to have
>been wiped clean. I believe that a sinister conspiracy is underway, headed by
>the Persons Against Perpetrating Similar Meaningless Endeavors And Rendezvous
>(P.A.P.S.M.E.A.R.). We in the Chicago area must stick together. Do not
>become e-mail penpals. That is all.
And so you pathetic fools think you can protect yourselves against our
superior technology? All we have had to do is arrange for the Cubs to trade
away every infielder who has ever had a chance of demonstrating Big League
Potential. This dulls the minds of the entire Greater Chicago viewing area,
making them easy pickings for the penpal conspiracy (aka America First). Let
me just say that my good friend, Lyndon LaRouche, is paying close attention to
the penpal phenomenon, and we in P.A.P.S.M.E.A.R. know what's best for you,
and will arrange that you do it, whether you like it or not.
Thank you for your support.
ASLATTON
writes:
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship
gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men
writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts
in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
I can only give you my basic philosophy of life:
"Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs...
before you find a Prince"
Now, isn't that more fun than: If at first you don't succeed, etc.?
David W. Garber
>writes:
>>
>>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship
>gets
>>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men
>writing
>>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts
>in...
>>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>>
There are certain immortal truths. Four of a kind beats a full house. Never
take a shower right after you do a load of laundery. Local beats long
distance every time. The last one might have something to do with that
abbreviated life cycle.
-D
"A book I read when I was young recommended an easy way to find
caterpillars to rear: you simply find some fresh caterpillar
droppings, look up, and there's your caterpillar." -Annie Dillard
Mark D. Garfinkel
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>Mark I was talking about email correspodence that starts out that way and
>seems to be about gettin to know one another, as real people not just
>someone inside a computer.
was referring to were limited to single topics, now, did you?
If one hangs around in soc.singles long enough & contributes
interestingly to the various wide-ranging conversations, e-mail friendships
will arise. The comraderie extends to off-net socializing activities too.
Sometimes these e-friendships become romantic relationships (indeed, among
regular posters in soc.singles there are several couples whose relationships
began via the newsgroup). Long-distance romances, of course, have their
drawbacks -- no romance is ever trouble-free -- and so the principals just
deal with them.
>at any rate at least the topic has gotten
>folks to start replying here.. I knew there had to be Chi folks around
>somewhere
Oh... hmmm... So your primary posting interest is in the chi.personals
group? Neither my primary nor my secondary Usenet news-server site carries
that one. On the other hand, soc.singles is a *very* active newsgroup for
discussions that, at least occasionally, have to do with singlehood.
Mark
--
Mark D. Garfinkel (e-mail: garf...@iitmax.acc.iit.edu)
My views are my own, which is why they're copyright (c) 1995
Mean Green Dancing Machine
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
It's probably because you're boring. I've kept one relationship going
(off-and-on) for about three years, and we still haven't met.
--
--- Aahz (@netcom.com)
Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6
Androgynous kinky vanilla queer het
Usenet is not a democracy. It is a weird cross between an anarchy
and a dictatorship.
Jason C. Daniels
In article <3ti5sj$j...@nntp.interaccess.com>, blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> says:
>
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
lasted around 2 months, wehre emails are exchanged on a bout an every
other day basis until either of us starts getting really busy at the
job. However, when I dig through my mail box (I rarely clean it) and I
try to start up the email thing again, I usually get a response say "Who
are you!??!?"...
Jason
------------------------
" To me, truth is not some vauge, foggy notion. Truth is
real. And, at the same time, unreal. Fiction and fact and
everything in between, plus some things I can't remember,
all rolled into one big 'thing'. This is truth, to me."
- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
David W. Garber
Disappearing _ink_? What kind of CRT do you have, anyway?
Seth Breidbart
ASLATTON <asla...@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
> I can only give you my basic philosophy of life:
>
> "Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs...
> before you find a Prince"
And then the Prince dumps you because you have warts on your lips.
Seth [the story of my life]
Clint H.
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
John Fereira
>Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
>Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
I don't know. I have been corresponding via email with a women that I met
here for six years or so. Up until a couple of months ago we lived on
opposite coasts. I'm not even very pissed off that she stood me up a week
ago after we had planned to meet when I was near her home town for a couple
of days.
Never have any expectations about how an email correspondance is going. No
matter how steamy it might get, it has nothing to do with R/L.
--
John Fereira
fer...@isis.com
Isis Distributed Systems Ithaca, NY
ASLATTON
writes:
Seth, I don't think that was a real prince, just a frog in
disquise. Keep kissing those frogs, one on them will be a genuine
prince.
Robert Bonomi
David W. Garber <gar...@aru.dom.uab.edu> wrote:
>In article <3tke8n$p...@nntp.interaccess.com> blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> writes:
>
>>Thanks Christine I have heard a lot of stories like yours...thought I was
>>having one of those stories <G>...but the man has turned into
>>disappearing ink.. best of luck
>
>Disappearing _ink_? What kind of CRT do you have, anyway?
>
David W. Garber
>divorce. I sure miss our discussions.
>Clint
Once upon a time, there was a device called mail. Not e-mail, just mail. I
know I haven't used it recreationally for a long time, but I think I would,
rather than lose a good friend.
-D
"Tis better to have loved and lost, than to hit into
a double play with a man at first and third and
one away." -Dr. Fixit
Zeus Paleologos
: In article <3ti5sj$j...@nntp.interaccess.com>,
: blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
: >Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
: >and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
: >Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
: It's probably because you're boring.
No, it's probably because she doesn't tell the kind of whoppers that make
a soap opera look like real-life by comparison.
: I've kept one relationship going
: (off-and-on) for about three years, and we still haven't met.
: --
: --- Aahz (@netcom.com)
: Hugs and backrubs -- I break Rule 6
: Androgynous kinky vanilla queer het
: Usenet is not a democracy. It is a weird cross between an anarchy
: and a dictatorship.
--
"Nonsense is the safest form of fiction needing as it does no disclaimers."
--ZP
Ray Doeksen
soc.singles, otherwise I wouldv'e gotten the flamethrower out for a test
fire. I'm primarily looking at chi.personals too, and it is funny how many
messges and threads get sucked in by someone in chi.personals
cross-posting, then the message thread is carried back by someone in
Kathmandu. Makes little sense to cross-post out like that. I think blaze
and others would be targeting better by keeping their posts inside chi.
But that goes against the grain of internet postings, where you dangle
bait in poor fishing holes because it is easy.
We shall see. I'm going to stick to chi.personals unless I just want to
discuss something with a wide audience. No trolling long distance.
Andy, In article <3tibug$q...@usenet.INS.CWRU.Edu>, ax...@po.cwru.edu
(Andrew Jenkins) wrote:
> In article <3ti5sj$j...@nntp.interaccess.com>, blaze
<bas...@interaccess.com> says:
> >
> >Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
> >it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
> >and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
> >Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
> >
> Problem is...distance. How many of the men you conversed with live in
> your area? I've been lurking (yeah, I know the drill) here for weeks
> and haven't sen a single posting from a woman in my location, nor any
> from any women within a reasonable driving distance. E-mail relation-
> ships can only go so far. IMHO, it's a touchable, human relationship
> that people desire, and so the interest slowly falls way...
>
> regards,
>
> Andy
--
Ray Doeksen Doeksen Design + Consulting
rdoe...@design.chi.il.us http://www.interaccess.com/rdoeksen/
Ray Doeksen
What was the background there, on these penpals that drop off the face of
the earth? I have a feeling that the e-mail thing loses out after a while
partly becuase the technology isn't exactly slanted towards maintaining
anything over time. You lose data, and current computers dont exactly help
you fight entropy. Preferences files get corrupted, hard drives crash,
things get deleted, things are hard to integrate and associate, and in
general don't work like humans need them to.
Old-style penpals could usually dig up old letters that had artifact or
fetish value, that grew precious over time. E-mails just get deleted when
the bin gets too full for the program to deal with it.
Current e-mail programs also don't associate the person closely enough
with the message. Old style mail had a feel to it that was differnt for
every person. I have a stack of old letter from an old friend that all
have a similar feel to them: paper, writing style, heft, etc. Despite
having a good version of Eudora, I cannot seem to search through my saved
e-mail and find what I need.
One day I will set down to write a better mousetrap, but until then I'm
trying to find kludges that will do it.
Hey, you don't even have a Project W page. That might help. I find that
having a Web page that friends can use to find me, mail me, see me, helps
a lot.
In article <3ti5sj$j...@nntp.interaccess.com>, blaze
<bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
> Anyone ever noticed that no matter how intense an email relationship gets
> it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
> and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
> Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
--
piranha
> it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
> and one by one poof they are gone.. Then a whole new group starts in...
> Is the life cycle of email about as long as the life of a fly?
>
for years. many don't last, for a variety of circumstances,
often rooted in the corresponding people's lives. just like
many potential friendships in RL don't ever work out. but
some do -- my longest email relationship is still going on,
and has lasted for 7 years; we have not yet met and will
likely not meet real soon either. it's pretty intense; we
don't exchange pounds of email every week, but we talk about
a lot of intimate subjects.
i've also carried on a LDR over 3 years, mainly thru email
-- it was such an improvement over snailmail, i can't praise
it enough. but we met before we started emailing.
23 correspondents? my guess would be that the email had to
be at a pretty darn shallow level, unless you mailed out
cc's to everyone -- or that alternatively you spent 20 hours
a day writing. i wouldn't be surprised if people got bored
rather quickly at that level. i would. i don't have the
time to do quite a few people justice with whom i'd love to
correspond more intensely; there are too many interesting
people and too little of my energy, alas.
-piranha
blaze
personal angle.. I am interested in the other newsgroups as well. Sorry I
thought you were replying from the chi group.
I was referring to a different phenomina that happens sometimes where one
person intensifies things and finally gets the other to start to agree
that there is a realationship going on and then the first person skips
out. seems so senseless to me.
blaze
and for the individual that speculated that perhaps I was boring.. far
from it.. of course I suspect that person finds most things boring.
blaze
personals but up until now this newsgroup has been a virtual wasteland ..
I am happy to see there are people out there lurking and now finally
writing. I seriously doubt that most women are going to post to an empty
newsgroup. It is tough enough being a women on the net. Someday someone
needs to explain to me how you expect a newsgroup to survive if everyone
is lurking.
Mark D. Garfinkel
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>I was referring to a different phenomina that happens sometimes where one
>person intensifies things and finally gets the other to start to agree
>that there is a realationship going on and then the first person skips
>out. seems so senseless to me.
in the first place. If I had a dollar for every person with
whom I wanted to "intensify things" and that feeling was not
reciprocated I'd be wealthier than I am today.
Mark
--
Mark D. Garfinkel (e-mail: mg...@midway.uchicago.edu)
(c) 1995; all rights reserved. Permission granted for Usenet quotation
with attribution.
Dan Bolognani
(before I became brave enough to actually post some thing) and you are by
no means boring.
You know my only problem with trying to beet the record is
forgetting to check in with the newsgroups. I get on a good cycle of
reading them then I start surfing the net and forget to come back over.
Of course that was before I started posting things here.
By the way I have seen your name here before but dont know much
about you what do you like to do.
I like movies (I know that sounds corny on a message but I REALLY
do) I go all the time and am a big behind the scenes guy. Meaning I like
to watch all of those how this movie was made type of things.
Dan Bolognani
didnt want to but into anyones conversation. I came to realize that that
was pretty much what the newsgroups are for for everyone to give there
opinion. ( I think?) Excuse me for stating the obvious but hey
I can also see what you mean about being a woman on the net while I
am male I dont see many women at least in chi.
blaze
things intensified, he was. that was why it was a surprise to me that he
skipped. i kept telling him until we met it was pointless to discuss it
as a relationship.. you couldnt know unless you did meet.
blaze
are all coming from different experiences as can be expected.
Michael Sullivan
>it only seems to last about two weeks. 10 days ago I had 23 men writing
>and one by one poof they are gone..
Well -- the large percentage of them do. It's because that's about how
long it takes to give the basic gut spill and fluff out for a while,
before you start to realize that you don't have that much to talk about
after all.
There will be a few e-correspondences that don't die down if you wait
patiently and choose carefully.
Note that responding to 23 people in anything like the kind of depth
necessary to hold interest would take far more time than I have to give.
Try picking three or four of the most promising ones in your next batch
It's also possible that you've got one or two who are going to continue
but are leaving you in their mailbox for a bit. Once I've established a
connection with someone, I can sometimes leave their mail alone for a
long time just 'cause I'm busy or whatnot. or even forget about it.
I know I have one email correspondent who I fully intend to keep up with,
if I don't succeed in pissing her off for lack of writing. She's been
waiting about two months for a promised missive. It's a little over a year
since we started sharing messages, and we haven't met yet.
Michael
blaze
be romance or where you do plan on meeting. sometimes it is nice to just
have the friendship.. but sometimes one of those casual penpals can turn
into more and then distance may be a problem but not always. I have known
many people that started out this way and eventually got together. Many
have married. If there is someone out there for me I dont know where he
might turn up. easier if he is in Chi.
blaze
tell me otherwise. and if I was so boring then why was he so interested.
andrew Jenkins
I agree with both the above example and your own personal insight. People
can meet in a variety of ways, and they can become more...
It's also much easier for you, me, and likely most people, to find
"compatables" in my own backyard, simply because the complications of
life; work, chores, etc., tend to make a jet-setting (??) lifestyle
difficult and expensive, if not impossible. That is, long distance
relationships a VERY hard to maintain.
Unfortunately, one's own backyard can be just as difficult a place
to search. If you're into camping, tending gardens, riding bikes,
going to the park, playing with the computer, staying home, necking,
etc, instead of going to the bars and other "Agoras", it's especially
difficult to meet people (in my case, women).
So there's the paradox. In either case, it's still a lonely life.
Andrew Jenkins
>
>Andy I would have been happy to have just posted the note in Chi.
>personals but up until now this newsgroup has been a virtual wasteland ..
>I am happy to see there are people out there lurking and now finally
>writing. I seriously doubt that most women are going to post to an empty
>newsgroup. It is tough enough being a women on the net. Someday someone
>needs to explain to me how you expect a newsgroup to survive if everyone
>is lurking.
Hi,
I hope I didn't offend anyone with my reply, it's just that
I feel a relationship, whether person-to-person or otherwise,
needs to result in more than words. IMHO, as humans, we have
a basic need to *be* with people, and while there is nothing
to say that e-mail relationships aren't fufilling in and
of themselves, a relationship that is going nowhere is, after
all, a relationship that is going nowhere. Humans (again IMHO)
have a need for a mate, and we have a strong drive to find
one. If it isn't working, then why not bail?
(ooh, I sound like a real jerk now, don't I?) But I'm not.
Example... I want children. If I date a woman who, after a time,
reveals that she wants nothing to do with children, why in the
earth would I stay in the relationship. It would be a slow form
of suicide. Love? A good reason, but is it enough?
Example...I find myself falling in love with someone I've
been conversing with via e-mail for months, but much of
what she says in the messages point to her desire for an
"e-mail only" relationship. Why would I continue?
Love? NO! At that point it would become shear Masochism,
because, according to her rules of engagement, nothing
more can come of the relationship.
Now, of course, I'm not saying here that I'm actually falling
in love with anyone, nor am I saying that e-mail cna't be fun,
but that one shouldn't be suprised when pen-pal realtionships
fail. It's their nature. People are menat to be *with*
people.
regards,
Andy
Patricia Steward
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>go for it Dan...re the record..
>
>and for the individual that speculated that perhaps I was boring.. far
>from it..
To which your scitillating messages attest, no doubt.
>of course I suspect that person finds most things boring.
It was Aahz, wasn't it? I doan' theen so, Ceesco.
--
Patricia Martin Steward pams...@nyx.cs.du.edu
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is;
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express senti-
ments that differentiate me from a doormat. --Rebecca West, 1913
Andrew Jenkins
>
>I always try to be very candid about the way I look. I dont want to throw
>that at someone after some interest is developing. I know folks hide
>behind the computer screen and that is fine if you choose to stay that
>way. But then you shouldnt push about meeting if you never intend to.
>
I agree. If someone says "let's meet" theen they ought to have
the guts to get on with it.
regards,
Andy
blaze
the one that I was having indepth conversation with..trust me I dont have
that kind of conversation with 23 guys.... it is the ones I start to
trust . .when they disappear.. well...
blaze
services...
blaze
more people wrote it would be.
blaze
intnese relationship I was developing. those are the ones that frustrate
me...I write about four people on a level that is more than superficial.
some I expect to disappear because there isnt any content there.
John Lopez
: If a person stops e-mailing me, I'll send, over time, 2 to 3 messages,
: and then get the hint <grin>... SOmetimes >I< am too busy to reply to a
: message right away, and it ends up that I rarely go back to old messages,
: so if I am at fault and forget to write someone I regularly write, they
: usually know tos end me something again :)
: --
: dada of tzara
: URL: http://www.mcs.net/~ibc/home/dasa.htm (DAda and SAmnation homepage)
Sometimes your E-mail penpal will even give you the hints that its over.
I had one that was great. She introduced herself, asked me what my hobbies are.
Send back a response, asked for hers. She send a very short answer response.
I send back a response asking for her to describe her work or study.
Got a one sentence response. Posted back then no response.
Oh well, sounded kind of childish boring anyway.
--
That's all for now.
J. Lopez --
E-Mail: jol...@dante.nmsu.edu or jol...@nmsu.edu
John Lopez
: : well if we are all posting in Chi.. then I would assume we arent that far
: : away. unless of course you want someone that is just around the corner. I
: : have written people all over the country and met many. I just wonder why
: : someone writes and intensifies the letters to the point you are talking
: : about meeting and then just skips...why bother to get to that point.
: Could be a couple of reasons. First that I can think of (and know
: through experience from when I met people who I was introduced to over
: the net) is either they lied about their nature or appearance (usually
: appearance) and don't want to fork over the truth they they are not Brad
: Pitt/Pamela Anderson look-alikes.
: Also, some people have great self-esteem when hiding behind their
: monitor. But when it comes time to leave the keyboard, they lock up in a
: shell. Not that it's a bad trait, just one that's fairly common...
: --
: dada of tzara
: URL: http://www.mcs.net/~ibc/home/dasa.htm (DAda and SAmnation homepage)
I like the boring conversation theory better :;
blaze
But then you shouldnt push about meeting if you never intend to.
>>
>I agree. If someone says "let's meet" theen they ought to have
>the guts to get on with it.
>
>
thrill of the hunt so to speak
Ron MALE LA CA email laron@primenet.com
i flew one girl out here to visit los anglees and stya with me a week
and i met one inperson in the city and i went over to have an afternoon
with another
if you want to meet them then do it!
blaze (bas...@interaccess.com) wrote:
:
: But then you shouldnt push about meeting if you never intend to.
Andrew J. Louder
Xenia
>What was the background there, on these penpals that drop off the face of
>the earth? I have a feeling that the e-mail thing loses out after a while
>partly becuase the technology isn't exactly slanted towards maintaining
>anything over time. You lose data, and current computers dont exactly help
>you fight entropy. Preferences files get corrupted, hard drives crash,
>things get deleted, things are hard to integrate and associate, and in
>general don't work like humans need them to.
>
>Old-style penpals could usually dig up old letters that had artifact or
>fetish value, that grew precious over time. E-mails just get deleted when
>the bin gets too full for the program to deal with it.
>
>Current e-mail programs also don't associate the person closely enough
>with the message. Old style mail had a feel to it that was differnt for
>every person. I have a stack of old letter from an old friend that all
>have a similar feel to them: paper, writing style, heft, etc. Despite
>having a good version of Eudora, I cannot seem to search through my saved
>e-mail and find what I need.
Hi Ray,
I agree with your opinion on old fashioned letter writing but I think
what's at issue here is that this is a very disposable society, even to
the point of disposable friendships. There is a decided lack of loyalty,
integrity and honor amongst friends today and with the almost guaranteed
anonymity on the net it's so easy to treat people as commodities. All
friendships need time to develope but today, if there isn't instant
gratification, most people will hurry to what is perceived as more intersting.
Just my 2cents worth (1.4cents american)
Xenia
blaze
>am male I dont see many women at least in chi.
>
flamed a lot for trying to get things going on Chi and I get lots of
email just because I am a woman. I got a couple of notes that people
would like to do things, so if you have any suggestions please post them.
thanks for the reply
Ray Doeksen
> Hi Ray,
>
> I agree with your opinion on old fashioned letter writing but I think
> what's at issue here is that this is a very disposable society, even to
> the point of disposable friendships. There is a decided lack of loyalty,
> integrity and honor amongst friends today and with the almost guaranteed
> anonymity on the net it's so easy to treat people as commodities. All
> friendships need time to develope but today, if there isn't instant
> gratification, most people will hurry to what is perceived as more intersting.
>
> Just my 2cents worth (1.4cents american)
>
> Xenia
Now we're off on another tangent, but what the hell. The world, as a
whole, has a bad odor to it. There are a lot of LARGE scale things I would
like to change. But, seeing that I don't have the time or energy to learn
that next language much less eliminate overpopulation, hunger and war, I
think I need a new way out.
I just want to find some good people. So, to heck with the disposable
society. It ain't my society. I dont want any of it. In a world filled
with dishonorable, traitorous, and disingenuine people I can do just fine
by surrounding myself with honorable, loyal, valorous, people of
integrity.
So, given this opportunity to talk to others over great distances, that is
what I'm here for: find some good people. Make my own world. I have no
time or patience for anyone who says that this is not the real world. If
it isn't part of theirs, I know they lack vision. I have no time for
anyone that wants meaningless chatter with strangers, especially if they
want to cloak it as 'entertainships' entertainment/relationships that have
no real value other than passing the time.
--
Ray Doeksen Doeksen Design + Consulting
rdoe...@design.chi.il.us http://www.interaccess.com/rdoeksen/
John Fereira
kinda suprising considering the gender neutral user name you're using
though) I've got a suggestion about how to avoid flames for trying to
increase traffic in chi.personals. Look for a periodic posting that
is posted here about the sdnet.personals group. It's well written and
basically just announces the existance of the group and invites any that
are interested to participate in the group. It would serve as a good
model for a similar posting for the chi group.
--
John Fereira
fer...@isis.com
Isis Distributed Systems Ithaca, NY
Jason Choi
now. It's been going strong and we feel like we know eachother better than
some people who are supposed to be 'close' do.We talked on the phone once
or twice,but have been lazy about sending photos to one another.Now shes
going to come visit me coming August, and this is quite awe inspiring.
First, I've never met anyone on the net before,though Ive been on it for
about 3-4 years. Second Ive never met an Aussie before either :) and
I need a interpreter to understand half the slang terms that most Aussies
tend to use, and Bec tends to use slang that even Aussies have a tough
time understanding hahaha. Im really looking forward to meeting her,
and I think this experience will be quite different than just meeting
any other net friend who lives in Chi town. Im a quite confident person
but this forthcoming renzevou sends shivers up my spine...Any advice on
some interesting places to take her???
-Jason Choi
(CC email: CJC...@email.mot.com)
-Love never dies-
(ujc...@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu)
.---. .-----------------
/ \ __ / ----------
/ / \( )/ ------
////// ' \/ ` ----
//// / // : : ---
// / / /` '-- -=<<\
// //..\\ >\
-=<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<UU<<<<UU<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<||((*))#########]*
'//||\\` >/
''`` -=<</
THE CROW
blaze
> and I think this experience will be quite different than just meeting
> any other net friend who lives in Chi town. Im a quite confident person
> but this forthcoming renzevou sends shivers up my spine...Any advice on
> some interesting places to take her???
>
is great. I have done it many times and have gone to outings all across
the country. Best advics is dont have any expectations, but why didnt you
exchange pictures.. usually a smart thing to do. Where to take her...
well show her the city...and let her tell you what she is interested in.
Hope you have fun.
blaze
sdnet.personals group. It's well written and>basically just announces
the existance of the group and invites any that>are interested to
participate in the group. It would serve as a good>model for a similar
posting for the chi group.
>
newsgroup going. I dont get that particular newsgroup. I think everyone
would appreciate seeing this group increase. As I said I know there are
people out there and it does appear the more they are starting to post
the more we can get others to join us.
Dan Bolognani
>I know that posting for me has had both its good and bad points. I get
>flamed a lot for trying to get things going on Chi and I get lots of
>email just because I am a woman
I dont know why you'ld get flamed for trying to get things started
I thought thats what newsgroups were all about.
Dan
Graydon
Because she's being relentlessly ditzy on several counts?
Chi.personals isn't a valid group outside of Chicago's general area, she
apparently can't tell the difference between announcing the creation of a
group and trying to have a crossposted conversation (which is bad,
especially when the crosspost includes wildly inappropriate groups), and
becuase she keeps trying to treat personals groups as on topic to
soc.singles - one of the very few things you can state emphatically about
soc.singles is that it wants nothing to do with personal ads.
--
saun...@qlink.queensu.ca | Monete me si non anglice loquobar.
blaze
>to apologize for later.
>
so you brave enough to try another outing... going to the Ren Faire on
Sat and the odds are about the same as at Zanies <G>
RE posting sometimes I dont think it matters what you say. if someone is
out there to flame they will find a way to misconstrue your words.
Smiggo
depends on how you connect and what you build..
throwing my 2 cents in.. : )
blaze
Two cents duely noted. I have had penpals on Prodigy for four years. just
found the climate very different here.
Probably a good deal of it is a matter of luck and whose path you come
across.
Michael Sullivan
blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
>Perhaps you would like to try your hand at a note helping to get the
>newsgroup going. I dont get that particular newsgroup. I think everyone
>would appreciate seeing this group increase. As I said I know there are
>people out there and it does appear the more they are starting to post
>the more we can get others to join us.
I'd certainly like it if that group got going. 'cause you might stop
posting your silly complaints in soc.singles and alt.personals
It's not that hard to write an announcement you know. If you *must* see
the template first -- Read soc.singles and search for William Kronert in
the From: line. He rarely posts here except for the sdnet.* announcement
once a month or so.
Note: you are crossposting this stuff to soc.singles and alt.personals,
even though you apparently only reading the chi.personals group. There
are a number of things wrong with this tactic.
First -- soc.singles and alt.personals have *radically* different
missions. there are very few, if any, good reasons for anything to be
crossposted to both groups.
Second -- maybe if you actually were reading one or the other group, you'd
recognize that there are lots of ongoing conversations in them, and your
constant interruptions with whining about some other newsgroup that isn't
getting enough posts and asking other people to do something about it are
rather annoying to the people reading those (worldwide distribution)
groups and having no connection whatsoever to chicago.
Third -- if you actually were to start reading alt.personals or
soc.singles you might discover that one of said groups has exactly what you
are looking for, and your chi.personals hobby horse would run away.
Thank you for your consideration,
Michael
Andrew Jenkins
>
>
>>if you want to meet them then do it!
>carrying on a relationship without meeting is not real...
>>
It's sad how some people are natural chickens, aye? ;-)
aj
rwo...@icarus.cc.uic.edu
On 19 Jul 1995, Julie O'Donnell wrote:
> In article <3ueaec$4...@News1.mcs.net> Dan Bolognani <da...@mcs.com> writes:
> >blaze <bas...@interaccess.com> wrote:
> >>I know that posting for me has had both its good and bad points. I get
> >>flamed a lot for trying to get things going on Chi and I get lots of
> >>email just because I am a woman
> >
> > I dont know why you'ld get flamed for trying to get things started
> >I thought thats what newsgroups were all about.
>
> I have also gotten flamed, and some pretty wierd e-mail. I figure that to
> change my .signature for this group only, is pretty chicken-hearted. Unlike
> a few others, I try to post carefully, omitting statements that I may have
> to apologize for later.
>
> I have also opened some dialogues that seem to be going somewhere. At the very
> least, I have found a few kindred souls, with similar interestes.
>
> Basically, the net is a crapshoot. This is no different from any other venue
> for meeting new people. The nice part is that we all get to share ideas and
> interests with people minus the primping and mating rituals of bars and
> coffee houses.
>
>
> --
> Julie O'Donnell/Fusion Systems Group/150 S Wacker/Chicago,IL 60606/312-357-3570
> Women constitute half of the world's population, perform nearly two-thirds of
> its work hours, receive one-tenth or the world's income, and own less than
> one-hundredth of the world's property. -- United Nations Report, 1980
>
>
Barbara Ann Steel
>> Basically, the net is a crapshoot. This is no different from any other venue>> for meeting new people. The nice part is that we a=
ll get to share ideas and>> interests with people minus the primping and mating rituals of bars and>> coffee houses.
>>
nt seek you out to make a point of it.. they dont hide behind a computer screen and as a result tend to be more civil. I do like the=
"lack of primping" as you put it. There are many people here i might never had gotten to know if I had seen them in a bar..
>> --
>>
John D Pruett
: > Julie O'Donnell/Fusion Systems Group/150 S Wacker/Chicago,IL 60606/312-357-3570
: > Women constitute half of the world's population, perform nearly two-thirds of
: > its work hours, receive one-tenth or the world's income, and own less than
: > one-hundredth of the world's property. -- United Nations Report, 1980
Yea, but a married woman controls half of her man's money whether she
works or not and controls all of the sex.
jp
Ed Borghi
Or none of it as is the case with many of us!
>
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