I Have Never Denied That I'm Gay! I've Always Embraced it!

[Kenny]

How old were you when you first realized you were Gay, and how old were you when it was confirmed with that magical physical moment you had your first sexual experience with another guy?

First off, my name is Kendell, but everyone calls me Kenny, and I don't hide the fact that I'm a certified Queer! I'm Gay, and am not afraid to publicly admit it! I even have tee shirts with either "QUEER", or "GAY PRIDE", or the "Double-Mars", or the Rainbow flag, on the front. On the back of some of them, I have "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT!" I also have two pairs of short-shorts the Rainbow flag embroidered on the seat. The embroidery says, "Enter here!" I have several baseball caps with either the flag or Double-Mars symbol, or the word "QUEER" on them. I guess I sort of flaunt my sexuality. I definitely don't hide it! I'm also 62-years-old!

When did I come to terms with the fact that I'm Gay? I always felt I was, even when I was maybe 9-years-old. Girls never interested me. But, I had a few guy friends, dare I actually call them boyfriends, who made me feel good, just to be with them! But, when did I actually come to terms with the fact that I was in fact Gay? When did I experience that one instant that confirmed my sexuality? How old was I when I first felt the hot, sexy, sensuous sensation of feeling another guy's rock-hard, well-lubricated, and since I was young and didn't know any better, let me add the word "unprotected", member being pushed deep into my rectum?

Let me take you back to June of 1968. I was 13, believe it or not! My best friend in the world, a boy named Terry, was rapidly approaching his 14th birthday (he was 4-months older than I was). Anyway, in June of 1968, something happened that began the liberation of people like me, people who were, and are, Gay. In Canada, the Canadian Government had passed laws removing the act of Homosexuality from the Criminal Code. Too, Homosexuality had been considered a mental illness. No more in June of 1968! In some places though, Homosexuality was still a major crime, and in those places, it was punishable by death. And shortly after what I'm about to tell you, like later the same day, I read a story in the paper, where in Saudi Arabia, fifty guys, ranging an age from 17 (Yes! That young!) to 62, my current age, were arrested and taken somewhere, where they were all beheaded, just because they were Gay! Imagine what ran through the head a boy in his early teens who was just embracing his sexuality!

At the end of June that year, I had just finished my last hours of middle school. Grade 8! Next was on to high school! For me, believe it or not, I had my very first sexual encounter when I was just four months away from my 14th birthday! The boy whom I did it with, was my very best friend in the world, and the day we did it, finally, was his 14th birthday! I had always had feelings for Terry, and as we were going through our final year of middle school, those feelings grew. He was more than a friend! For a year, I wanted to feel him kiss me! Here's the kicker! And when I found this out, I was in heaven. Terry had the same feelings for me! And for longer! The day it all came out was on the very last day of middle school, June 28th, 1968. It's so easy for me never to forget that date! The school day wasn't long, just long enough to get our marks and be dismissed for the summer. As Terry and I left school, neither of us would have dreamed about what was about to happen! But, it took two days for everything to "come to a head" as it were. It's not to say we didn't try! We did! We just didn't have an exact grasp, so-to-speak, of exactly what we were supposed to do!

That June day, as we walked home, for some reason, I felt funny, and not as in I felt sick. I felt, well, way different than I ever felt. My heart was racing. Maybe anticipating? Terry invited me to his house, as his parents were at work, and his older sister, a University student, was also at work. Once at his house, we found ourselves in the bedroom. Remember me saying my heart was racing? It was about to accelerate! Once in Terry's bedroom, we both found ourselves lying on his bed, side-by-side, with our legs dropped over one side, and our heads dropped over the other. As we laid there, we started to talk about some of the girls in our class, and wondering if we could make it with any one of them. That was the instant I sort of set things in motion. When he asked that, I told him that none of the girls did anything for me. It got really quiet right there. Next thing, I felt Terry's hand holding mine. My heart really started to race. That's when it happened. Terry propped himself up on his elbows and raised his head. He then rolled over and laid on top of me. That exposed me! I was hard as a rock! Oh, and so was Terry! I could feel it through not only my shorts, but his also. He gripped my head and raised it up. Next thing, our lips were pushing together! Terry kissed me! It then got really interesting! We started to make out. But, our making out wasn't just kissing. Terry began to kiss, bite (softly) and gently squeeze my neck. It was like he had suddenly became a Vampire! I loved it and I was feeling so hot! And while he was doing my neck, I was doing his! It got a little rough too. Just as we were really getting into the moment, we stopped! Off came our tee shirts, our shorts, and underwear. We were both nude! Two, dare I say horny, boys in their early teens, lying together, nude and making out! We were so concentrating on "playing" with each other's necks as we were, when suddenly, it all blew up! Now, there is this "thing" about a boy's neck. A boy's neck is ultra sensitive to touching, any touching. What we were doing to each other caused a great rush within our lower bodies. All of a sudden, all Terry said was, "Oh no!". Then, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. It was a good thing too! Right simultaneously together, as I began to pump out my cum-juice, Terry was doing the same. As we held each other, I could feel my penis throbbing, AND I could feel his doing the same. We came hard! It was THE hottest sensation I had ever felt!

For a few minutes, we just laid there holding each other. The sensation lasted for a few minutes before we could finally let go of each other. Had we just had sex? We weren't sure. In one sense, we messed up, in more ways than one. In another sense, I wanted more, and so did he. But, we both knew what we did wasn't exactly the right way. We didn't really know what the right way was though. Once we recovered, we started to think, this can't be right. And we were right. Only problem was, a few hours later, that evening, we did it again, and got the same result. The next day, we tried again, four times! We knew were doing something wrong, we just didn't know what it was. That was when we hit the library. Now, back then, you would not find books on the subject of Gay sex in a public library. Sex, yes, and not about the act itself, more about the sex organs in boys and girls. Where would you find it? In the University library. There, we found a whole section with books about sexuality and even a couple dealing with Gay sex. But, we also met someone who basically steered us in the right direction. He was a university student who worked in the library for the summer, and he was Gay. He was also extremely attractive, as I remember him! He helped us out. He told us what to do, showed us a few pictures, told us how to hold each other for entry, and exactly how to enter. He also told us to use lots of Vaseline on our penises, and told us to leave our necks alone! Remember I said about the boy's neck being sensitive? It wasn't our ages. The male neck is a powerful arousal point when touched in any way. And age doesn't matter, as even today, my neck is super sensitive to touch, especially during a sexual encounter.

This brings us to the hottest day of my life, up until then. I will never forget that day, July 1st, 1968. Why? Well, for one thing, that was Terry's 14th birthday! For another, well....

We were at Terry's house, as I had a mother at home, which was where we were supposed to be. At Terry's, we had privacy. I remember us standing there looking at each other. We had taken off our tee shirts and shorts. Standing there nude, we hugged, then we kissed. The arousal started. Both of us were super hard. We decided that Terry would do me first. I laid on the bed so my feet were at the head of the bed, and I was lying on my stomach so the my neck rested across the footboard of Terry's bed. I felt Terry rub my ass. Then I felt Terry's penis touch the opening of my ass. He barely entered before pulling back. It was the second push that made me take a deep breath! It felt so hot! He pushed again, going in a little deeper. I remember Terry remarking about how tight my ass felt! Then another push, and another push, and another push. He pushed in and pulled back at least ten times until he was in as deep as he could go. I still couldn't breathe! Then, Terry went into sex-machine mode! He pulled back till he almost withdrew, then he quickly pushed in, all the way, in a single thrust! I thought my head was being taken off! Again and again for three, then four, then five, then six, then seven, then eight, then nine minutes! I was barely able to get a breath in! Then, after ten minutes, he suddenly stopped when he was all the way in. He put his hands against my shoulders, as if to push me down hard onto his bed. He started to moan and say "Yes!" repeatedly! I could hear his moans! That was when I felt this really hot, sexy sensation. Terry was pumping his semen into me. And did he ever pump it in! It felt hot! It felt squishy! I felt sexy! Terry then laid on top of me and wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, I could still feel each throb of his penis as he continued to pump his semen into me! I wanted the feeling to last forever!

We laid like that for maybe ten minutes before he slid his penis out of my ass. The one thing I remember about that was it didn't hurt! That student at the library said it might leave our asses a little sore, but, it didn't, at least, it didn't hurt much. Maybe the holding of my breath as Terry entered me helped. Or maybe it was because Terry put so much Vaseline on his penis, it just slid gently in! Whatever! I loved every sensation of him pushing in, the throbbing of his penis as he pumped his juice into me, the whole thing! Then, it was my turn to do him. As Terry pulled out, he grabbed some tissues and wiped off his still sensitive penis. Then he laid face-down, like I had been. I took a lot of Vaseline and coated my penis, then I touched it to the opening of Terry's ass. As he did, I went in slowly and as gently as I could, going in a little deeper with each thrust. Terry's ass was very tight! I knew what I felt, so I could easily imagine what he was feeling. I took about the same ten times to get all the way in before pulling back and pushing deep in with single thrusts. Terry held his breath as I did that. And just as Terry went on for more than ten minutes before he began to ejaculate, I lasted about the same length of time! Suddenly, I found myself with my hands against Terry's shoulders, holding him down. I could feel my penis begin to throb! I raised my upper body up, and stretched my neck as long as I could. Then I took a very deep breath and let out the same "Yes!" repeatedly that Terry said. I began to ejaculate, pumping my semen into Terry's ass! Terry loved what he felt, my throbbing penis inside his ass, and my hot semen beginning to fill him. There was something else, something that also happened to Terry, that he didn't tell me would happen! At almost the exact instant I began to ejaculate, I ejaculated so hard that I saw stars! My head felt light! I felt like my breathing stopped! And the feelings I was having made me feel ultra sensuous. As I pumped my semen into him, I held my hands against his shoulders. Then, after maybe what felt like five minutes, I dropped down and laid on top of my boyfriend, wrapping my arms around him and holding him as he held me. I held him for several minutes, and still could feel my penis throb! Was I still ejaculating too?

After, we walked down to the bathroom, to try to expel as much semen out of our asses. What a feeling as we walked down the hall, feeling the semen squishing around inside our asses, and some of it oozing out and trickling down our legs. That student gave us some hints about bearing down. For the most part, we were able to expel enough out. Then, we hit the shower together. There was just one point about that shower. As the warm water sprayed on us, it made us feel sexy. As it happened, Terry held me, and we began to make out. Then he had me lean with my hands against the shower wall, facing away from him. Then he did me. He did me right there in the shower! Once he pulled out, he stood and braced himself against the wall, and I did him. Sex in the shower is so sexy!

That day was the day we surrendered our virginity to each other. And we did it twice! Did I describe us as two extremely horny teenaged boys? That summer, we did it, well, it would be easier to count the days we didn't do it! In fact, over the next two years, we took every opportunity to enjoy each other's bodies. It's a wonder our asses weren't worn off! Even on school days, after school, we would manage at least twice in a week to have sex together! Add in every Friday night, and twice on an average Saturday, and even the occasional Sunday! The summers of 68, and 69 were the best! Too, I wonder if Terry's mother ever wondered why she was using so much Vaseline!

Sadly, I would lose Terry on July 1st, 1970, which ironically was his 16th birthday. Terry had an accident that day where he suffered a severely dislocated (translation: broken) neck, which most likely killed him instantly. I won't say what the accident was, just that, to this day, I maintain that it was an accident despite too much evidence to the contrary. And when Terry and I started high school, we met two other Queer boys. The four of us became good friends, and the two of them got me through Terry's sudden death. For the next seven years, the three of us stuck together, but, we all actively looked fro a more permanent partner for me. In 1978, I met a wonderful, albeit older (by only 18-months, but older none-the-less) guy named Jamie, and we became lovers. I had an extremely serious accident in July of 1984, and was close to death for several weeks. Then during the very early hours of January 1st, 1985, while I was still in the hospital recovering from my accident, my relationship with Jamie suddenly ended without any warning. Jamie had an accident the same as Terry had, and his cause of death was a severely dislocated neck, the very same injury that claimed Terry's life. Again too, Jamie's accident wasn't treated like an accident, but rather, it was listed as something else. Since May of 1988, when I was finally recovered enough to be released from the care center I was in, I entered into several relationships with wonderful guys. I am in relationships with two of them, and occasionally "get it on" with three others, including these two young seriously hot guys in their early-mid-20's. To this day though, I still think about Terry, as you always remember the person you surrendered your virginity to, and who was your first lover.

Now, back then, was I too young to be having sex, especially with another boy. I know that, in my class in middle school, there were three girls and four other boys, other than Terry and I, who were already sexually active, though Terry and I were the only ones into Gay sex. Were we all anomalies? I don't think so! Most of my friends admit that they first engaged in sexual intercourse when they were around 13 or 14. I know these two young men, both in their early 20's, who said they lost their virginity to other boys around their age, though not to each other, around their 12th birthdays. So I wasn't an anomaly, even back then.

Oh, something else. Like I said, I openly admit that I'm Queer. I know that today, it's proper to call Homosexual guys like me Gay. But, back when I embraced my sexuality, we were called Queers. I never felt that term was derogatory in any way! So, you can call me Gay, but, I really like being called "Queer"! It reminds me of that innocent young boy in his early teens when he discovered just how sensuous and sexy it was to engage in sexual intercourse with another boy!

[Late Comer]

You've been busy trying to initiate discussions I see!

You pose questions that should be easy to answer, but for me are a little tough personally. But, I have to emphasize, it's my own experiences that make it tough. How old was I when I began to feel I might be Gay? If I am honest, I would say when I was a pre-teen, around 10-years-old. How old was I when I finally embraced my sexuality? I wish I could say when I was a teenager! Unfortunately, I didn't until this one warm Saturday evening at the end of April, 1994, when I was 7-months away from my 40th birthday! That was the evening I first had that extreme pleasure of feeling another guy's penis sliding into my rectum!

Back in the mid-60's and early-70's, like so many boys in their late-pre-teen-to-early-teen years, I had a serious wrestling match with my sexuality. It started, as I said, when I was 11-years-old and started in middle school. With all those very attractive girls at school, I should have been able to find at least one girl I was interested in, and maybe she would be interested in me. There was one problem. There were quite a number of drop-dead gorgeous girls in school, and none of them did anything for me. If anything, being around them made me feel uncomfortable! I was more relaxed around my guy friends sometimes too relaxed! I never took a shower in the school gym, as if one of my friends had been in there, I would have most likely got hard as a rock!

In the summer of 1973, when I was 18, I was set up for a date with a girl, who was a year older than I was. As was, and is, so typical of teenagers, the date ended up with us having sex together. It was my first time ever, and it was a big disappointment to say the least. And not just because it ended up being a one-night stand. The whole thing did nothing for me, other than to be my first sexual release (with another person, anyway!). Kissing her did nothing, although her kissing my neck did get me aroused. But, that was it. Even during intercourse, something just didn't feel right.

In 1982, a co-worker fixed me up with a co-worker of his wife's. a woman a year younger, divorced, with two young boys. We dated for two years, and while we engaged in sex a lot of times, it just didn't feel right. Then I made a big mistake. I bowed to pressure from friends, family, and associates, and I married her. We were together almost 10-years when something was seriously amiss. Her one son had moved out, and a friend of her other son had moved in. Weird things happened! She began being distant with me and was going out and staying out a lot. Too, when she did come home, she was "feeling good". Translation, she was drunk!

One day, on a Saturday in late April, 1994, 2-months away from our 10th anniversary, and seven months away from my 40th birthday, I was home by myself. It was quite early, around 8:00, and I went out. As she was always taking the car, I took the public transportation to the downtown area of the city. I didn't mind, as it was a gorgeous day! Welcomed after a very harsh winter! I was walking around, and I suddenly found myself standing in front of a bookstore. And not just any bookstore. This particular bookstore catered to people who lived a certain lifestyle, Homosexuality! Suddenly, I was back in my mid-teens and questioning my sexuality. I still don't know why I did what I did, but, as I stood looking in the window, I decided to go in. I was looking around and was standing looking at books geared toward Gay men. That's when something happened that would, within maybe 12-hours, change my life forever, and wake me up to something that should have happened years ago!

I was standing there, looking at the latest addition of a book called, "The Joy Of Gay Sex". Next thing, someone spoke to me, asking if that book was interesting. The person was a younger, and a really good looking guy. We chatted a bit, and I ended up buying the book. My new friend invited me for a coffee at a little café around the corner from the bookstore. I already knew about this café, because it was well known as being frequented by Gay people, mostly, Gay guys. That day, I was going to look for it, and like me standing in front of that bookstore, I didn't know why! Anyway, my friend, David, and I bought coffees and went and sat down outside on the patio. It was interesting sitting there, and seeing several guys holding hands and kissing each other. David and I chatted for nearly two hours. During that time, I just felt there was something about him. I was finding myself attracted to him. David was very open. He was Gay, but didn't have a partner and hadn't had one for about two years. At least, not a partner that he could call a primary partner. More on that later! We chatted and chatted. The whole time, I was becoming more and more interested in him.

It was a little after noon when we cordially parted. About an hour later, I was home to a still-empty house. I sat there for a couple of hours, and while I began leafing through that book I bought, I could not stop thinking about David. Finally, realizing I was not going to have any company at home, I went back out and at around 5:30, I found myself back at that café. I got a coffee and sat outside for about 20-minutes. Then I someone said, "Oh! You're back!" It was David! We sat and chatted again over coffees, and I came to realize what it was about him that was affecting me. He was very appealing! I was attracted to him! Then it got really crazy. David lived just a couple of blocks away, and he invited me to his apartment. There, we sat and talked more. Then, and this happened at around 7:00, I had an amazing experience. David kissed me! And it wasn't just a touching of our lips. Our mouths were both wide open and our tongues were dancing together. I was so aroused! in fact, I had never been so aroused. It was better than any kiss I had from any woman! Way, way better!

It got better yet! Way much better yet!

We started to make out, big time. I had never made out to where it felt so hot! David asked if I wanted to have sex with him. I was maybe slightly hesitant, but, after his kiss, I wanted to know what Gay sex felt like. Plus, David got me in the one spot that, when he planted his lips on that spot, I was under his control. It rendered me helpless. David kissed my throat area! That was when we went to his bedroom. There, we both took off all our clothes. David had me lay on his bed face down. He was hard and ready. "Your first time?", he asked. It was, but he said he would take me easily. He did! As I laid there, David pulled a condom on, and coated his covered penis with Vaseline. "Ready?", he asked. The way I was laying, I was resting so my neck was across the foot board of his bed, looking down at the floor. There was a post at each corner, and I grabbed them. Then, in an instant, my life changed forever. I felt the tip of David's penis push against the opening of my ass, then I felt it slide in. "Oh yes!", I said. Not very far, just so the tip was fully inside me. Still, it felt so sensuous! As I felt him enter, I took a deep breath and held it. He stopped, and I exhaled. "Yes! Yes!", I said. He pushed in a little deeper, then deeper yet. "Oh, yes!" It took several pushes before he was inside me as far as he could get! "Geeze! Your ass is so tight! So hot!", David told me. All I could say was, "Oh! Oh! Yes!" And with each push, I held my breath until he stopped moving, then I exhaled. Then he really drove me over the top! He pulled back, almost to a full withdrawal, then he thrust in all the way! It was THE hottest moment ever! He did me like that for several minutes! Then, suddenly, on what was to be his final thrust, he stopped when he "hit bottom". He then wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. That is when I could feel his throbbing member, and the hotness that surrounded it. He was ejaculating! Into the condom! He couldn't move! I just savored the moment!

After a few minutes, he finally withdrew, pulling his filled cover with him. Then, it was my turn. I was as hard as I had ever been. The condom when on with ease. I covered it all with a good coating of Vaseline. Then, as he laid there, face-down, I touched the tip to his anal opening. He moaned! Then I slowly pushed it in a little more. He moaned again. "Deeper! Deeper!", he said. I pushed deeper! "Yes! Deeper!" His ass was so tight! I went deeper! "Yes! Yes!" Finally, I was in as far as I could get! "Oh yes! Pound me!" I pulled back, trying not to pull completely out. Then I pushed in all the way! David didn't moan! He let out a very excited, "Oh Yes!! Yes! Yes!" I pulled back again and thrust forward again! My wife's vagina wasn't this tight! Or hot! David's ass felt a thousand times hotter! I pushed in and withdrew for several minutes! David kept saying over and over, "Oh! Do me! Do me!" Then, it happened! I began to cum like I never came before! My penis throbbed madly! And, I filled that condom! I came so hard, I saw stars! I had never cum that hard before, ever! I had to stop moving! Luckily, I was at David's bottom. I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could and held him. My penis still throbbed like crazy! I was in heaven! Never had sexual intercourse felt so hot, sexy, and sensuous!

We both laid there as mainly I recovered. That absolutely blew me away! I know knew what was the matter. All my life, I had lived in denial. I was Gay, and I should have pursued this a long time before, like when I was a teenager.

After laying there for about a half hour, with my penis still embedded inside David's ass, I finally was able to withdraw. After a little while longer, we both hit the bathroom to deposit our full condoms down the toilet. Then came our next hot adventure. We hit the shower. Together! Trouble was, we began making out, which got us both so aroused. No, we didn't get into each other in the shower. (For the record, we would have shower sex in the not-too-distant future! Just not that evening!) We didn't make it that far! What happened caught us both off guard. We were both so aroused (I guess the correct thing to say is, we were super horny!), we both began to ejaculate, before we could get into each other. All we could do was grab and hug each other. Our semen shot out and was coating our stomachs. We just held each other, sandwiching our two throbbing members between us.

Wow! Two heavy (and I mean H-E-A-V-Y ) orgasms each within like 90-minutes.

We had to call it a night finally, sometime before 1:00, as the public transportation stopped at 2:00. David walked we to the bus stop. As we saw the bus approach, we quickly kissed. the bus pulled up, and David and I parted for the evening. The trip home took almost an hour. I got to the door at a little after 2:00. Once there though, I began to get a strange feeling. Nobody was home. I was by myself. It was OK though. It gave me some alone time to think about my evening, and about David. And about the best sex I ever experienced!

David and I were together for twenty-three wonderful years. Sadly, I lost David this year, on July 1st. Back in late April, around about what was our 23rd anniversary, David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. At least his suffering didn't last long, but it still hit me hard when he died. He was only 56-years-old. Funny thing! Just a few hours before he took his final breath, we had a good laugh. What about? He said he could still see the look on my then-wife's face when I introduced David to her! The best part of that moment, other than that look on her face, was that it made my wife decide right then and there to end our so-called marriage. I'll have to post about that story!

Do I have any regrets about anything? About finally coming to terms with being Gay? Oh yes! Big time! Aside from my disastrous marriage, which I wished I had of avoided the whole relationship from the beginning, I should have pursued my true feelings that I was Gay back at least when I was still in my teens, maybe not while I was still in high school, but definitely immediately afterwards. I most likely wouldn't of had all those "this doesn't feel right" feelings throughout those years before I came to embrace my true sexuality. I would of had a lot more fun! Maybe though, I might never had met David, then again, I might have met him sooner than I did! You just never know! Oh well! As the saying goes, live and learn. Oh, and something else I learned, it's never too late!

>On Saturday, December 23, 2017 at 5:10:02 AM UTC-5, Kenny wrote: