UNdetectable

[Ellis Dee]

Now I've never been a fighting man - well, apart from with the wife but
that doesn't count because she always won, but I can't understand the
logic of the UN.
They take a group of the best trained men from the best armies in the
world and send them to some trouble spot to keep the peace knowing full
well that neither of the warring factions particularly wants them there.

Straight away they are a target for every loony toon that wants to carry
on fighting. So what's the UN's idea of protecting these brave troops -
camouflage battle-dress!
Ideal for making soldiers merge into their surroundings if they are
crouching in hedge-rows, slithering through long grass or creeping
through woods. But walking down a village street - I don't think so!

They dress these poor sods up, black their faces with dubbing, stick a
few branches and bits of foilage all over them and then wonder why the
enemy can see them when they stand against a row of houses. Do the UN
really think that the enemy are so thick that that wouldn't smell a rat
when they see a bush crossing the road. Or do they think that they'd be
too busy looking it up in their I-Spy Horticultural catalogue to get a
couple of shots off.

They used the same mentality in the Gulf, everything was painted sand
colour. But I think it's safe to say that if it's travelling at the
speed of sound, fifty foot above the ground, it ain't a bloody sand
dune!

So if you want to send something to the troops I suggest a red-brick
sweater, picket fence slacks and maybe cobblestone boots for townwear
only of course.

I did have a pair of camouflage trousers, but they blew off the washing
line, landed in some rose bushes and I've never been able to find them
since! <G>

Ellis.

[A75L66G]

Some interesting thoughts. Thought the rest of you might enjoy them, too.

Subject: Still Learning after all these years

* I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing
"Silent Night." Age 6

* I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk. Age 7

* I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop
what they are doing and wave back. Age 9

* I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom
makes me clean it up. Age 13

* I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try
cheering someone else up. Age 14

* I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad
my parents are strict with me. Age 15

* I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of
advice. Age 24

* I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great
pleasures. Age 26

* I've learned that wherever I go, the worlds worst drivers have
followed me there. Age 29

* I've learned...that if someone says something unkind about me, I
must live so that no one will believe it. Age 39

* I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just
don't know how to show it. Age 41

* I've learned that you can make someone's day by simply sending them
a little card. Age 44

* I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater
his need to cast blame on others. Age 46

* I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
Age 47

* I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for
hours. Age 49

* I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from
the phone. Age 50

* I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights. Age 52

* I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine
cabinet full of pills. Age 52

* I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you miss them terribly after they die. Age 53

* I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a
life. Age 58

* I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your
children, try to improve your marriage. Age 61

* I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. Age 62

* I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt
on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. Age 64

* I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if
you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new
people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
Age 65

* I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I
usually make the right decision. Age 66

* I've learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72

* I've learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the
truth, I've seen several. Age 73

* I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
Age 82

* I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a
friendly pat on the back. Age 85

* I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. Age 92

Li'l Al
.,.-·*·¤·*·-.,.-·*·¤·*·-.,.-·*·¤·*·-.,.-·*·¤·*·-.,.-·*·¤·*·-.,.

[John, that Alaska guy]

I've learned that God put us on this planet to have a good time and not
hurt anyone.
Age 53

Regards, John (that Alaska guy)
jpsp...@alaska.net