Req: how do I get an 8 year old interested in reading?
rfi...@lynx.net
My husband and I are both readers and always have been since our
earliest memories. Our daughter (an only child) sees her father
reading on the computer (discussion groups) most evenings, and knows
that he reads books and magazines for his hobby. Since I'm finishing
up my Ph.D, she's seen me reading texts almost non-stop for her entire
life (I was doing an MA when she was born). She also knows that I
prefer to read leisure books and magazines rather than do almost
anything else, especially watch tv. She has had a bedtime story every
night since she's been old enough to have one, and extra stories
during the day when we have time. We've been trying our best to show
by example that reading is fun, exciting, interesting, etc. She had
her own library before she was even conceived, and it continued
growing with a wide range of topics, from astronomy (which she and her
dad are interested in) to Dr. Seuss and the other typical kiddie books
to mythologies from around the world. As I've always been ready and
willing to buy her books and take her to the library, she knows that
books are important to the family and that there are plenty of
opportunities for her to have some if she wishes. We've even
implemented a home study period each evening during the week in which
she works on reading, spelling, math, etc., on a rotating basis, and
encourage her to read in her bed at night on the weekends when she's
not tired enough to sleep.
We've done everything we can think of to encourage and foster a love
of reading in her but it hasn't been working. She won't take books
out from the school library, claiming that they don't have any books
that she's "insterested" in. She is excited and willing to take home
books from the public library but when she gets home is no longer
interested in reading them. We never get stressed out when she's
reading, but we do make her correct her mistakes. She's the kind of
child who has always been upset when corrected (even gently and
non-judgementally), and she is either timid or lazy (I hope not!)
about doing difficult tasks. We suspect that that is part of her
reluctance to read--its difficult, and she makes numerous mistakes
which she then has to correct. She knows all the phonetic sounds (we
used flashcards and workbooks at home) and can read fairly well, only
getting hung up on the difficult or unusual words, but still there is
no interest. We have tried really hard to make it less of a chore and
more of a joy for her, but haven't been successful. She'd rather to
anything else rather than read. We've even tried suggesting that when
she's away from school she not read for accuracy, but read for the
story, hoping to move from chore to joy that way, but again, no luck.
If any of you have suggestions for things we might try, we'd really
appreciate it. This is the most important issue in our house right
now, and while we're trying to keep it low-key and not to push (we
don't want to put her completely off), we realize that something has
got to change pretty soon and we're getting worried.
Thanks!
Johnna
johnna(at)unixg(dot)ubc(dot)ca
hamilton
>
> We've done everything we can think of to encourage and foster a love
> of reading in her but it hasn't been working. She won't take books
> out from the school library, claiming that they don't have any books
> that she's "insterested" in. She is excited and willing to take home
> books from the public library but when she gets home is no longer
> interested in reading them. We never get stressed out when she's
> reading, but we do make her correct her mistakes. She's the kind of
> child who has always been upset when corrected (even gently and
> non-judgementally),
You know it is upsetting to be constantly judged -- and corrected [like
this can be done 'non judgmentally?] and that she will not perceive it as
gentle and you want her to love to read. so why are you making it
unpleasant by hectoring her and correcting her and making her 'correct her
mistakes.' If you want a child to love reading -- you let them read and
enjoy it. Especially if they have made it clear that it is punishing and
unpleasant when they are corrected.
-- you might look at the world from her point of view a little here --
and she is either timid or lazy (I hope not!)
> about doing difficult tasks.
Kids who are reluctant to do hard things need encouragement, not
correction. Nothing shuts a kid down as fast as criticism -- nothing buoys
them up like
encouragement and 'attaboys'.
We suspect that that is part of her
> reluctance to read--its difficult, and she makes numerous mistakes
> which she then has to correct. She knows all the phonetic sounds (we
> used flashcards and workbooks at home) and can read fairly well, only
> getting hung up on the difficult or unusual words, but still there is
> no interest. We have tried really hard to make it less of a chore and
> more of a joy for her, but haven't been successful.
this belies what you have said -- you are drilling her, correcting her
difficult words etc when she has made it clear that this is aversive. Why
not get her easy to read books and be her cheerleaders rather than her
taskmasters.
Everything you have said indicates that you are pushing reading on her and
making it unpleasant to her -- from her point of view.
She'd rather to
> anything else rather than read. We've even tried suggesting that when
> she's away from school she not read for accuracy, but read for the
> story, hoping to move from chore to joy that way, but again, no luck.
push push push push you have made it clear to her that 1 it is very
important to YOU that she read and 2 that she doesn't measure up. This
will only be perceived as more pushing.
It may be too late given the climate around reading that has been created
-- but you might try alternate page reading. We did this with a foster
child who could barely read at 10 when she came into our home. I would
read one page -- modeling fluent reading and she would read the next. I
didn't correct her
unless she looked to me for help -- but mostly just commented on the story
as she read her part. In a six month period, she went from virtually no
reading to being able to read kid's books like 'Babysitters Club' etc with
pleasure.
We also rewarded her with a new book when she achieved milestones and let
her pick out books at library or bookstore before trips etc. But we laid
off the drill and correction unless she initiated it. Making getting to
read or a new book a treat rather than a chore works pretty well.
Lots of 8 year olds also like to be read to. My kids are fluent readers
but I remember reading to my son when he was as old as 12 -- and we often
read in the car on trips or got book tapes. Joy in books - will sometimes
translate to joy in reading. Why don't you read the first half of Harry
Potter to her and leave the book lying around [or something else that
appeals to her] Make reading fun [and leave off the sermons -- do, don't
tell]
>
>
> If any of you have suggestions for things we might try, we'd really
> appreciate it. This is the most important issue in our house right
> now, and while we're trying to keep it low-key and not to push (we
> don't want to put her completely off), we realize that something has
> got to change pretty soon and we're getting worried.
reread what you have written. does that sound 'low key' to you? You have
made books into 'eating your ruttabagas' and have focussed far too much
family
energy around this as if it is a big BIG GIANT BIG DEAL and all will be lost
if it doesn't 'CHANGE SOON'. What do you think the odds are that a child
who is reluctant to read is going to change that reluctance in this
atmosphere of pressure and overconcern?
If I were you, I would give it a complete rest for a couple of months and
then reinitiate reading with genuinely low key family reading or whatever.
>
> Thanks!
> Johnna
> johnna(at)unixg(dot)ubc(dot)ca
Leah Adezio
rfi...@lynx.net wrote in message <38877734...@news.lynx.net>...
>How do you get an 8 year old child interested--no, hooked--on reading?
>
>My husband and I are both readers and always have been since our
>earliest memories. Our daughter (an only child) sees her father
>reading on the computer (discussion groups) most evenings, and knows
>that he reads books and magazines for his hobby. Since I'm finishing
>up my Ph.D, she's seen me reading texts almost non-stop for her entire
>life (I was doing an MA when she was born). She also knows that I
>prefer to read leisure books and magazines rather than do almost
>anything else, especially watch tv. She has had a bedtime story every
>night since she's been old enough to have one, and extra stories
>during the day when we have time. We've been trying our best to show
>by example that reading is fun, exciting, interesting, etc. She had
>her own library before she was even conceived, and it continued
>growing with a wide range of topics, from astronomy (which she and her
>dad are interested in) to Dr. Seuss and the other typical kiddie books
>to mythologies from around the world. As I've always been ready and
>willing to buy her books and take her to the library, she knows that
>books are important to the family and that there are plenty of
>opportunities for her to have some if she wishes. We've even
>implemented a home study period each evening during the week in which
>she works on reading, spelling, math, etc., on a rotating basis, and
>encourage her to read in her bed at night on the weekends when she's
>not tired enough to sleep.
>
>of reading in her but it hasn't been working. She won't take books
>out from the school library, claiming that they don't have any books
>that she's "insterested" in. She is excited and willing to take home
>books from the public library but when she gets home is no longer
>interested in reading them. We never get stressed out when she's
>reading, but we do make her correct her mistakes. She's the kind of
>child who has always been upset when corrected (even gently and
>about doing difficult tasks. We suspect that that is part of her
>reluctance to read--its difficult, and she makes numerous mistakes
>which she then has to correct. She knows all the phonetic sounds (we
>used flashcards and workbooks at home) and can read fairly well, only
>getting hung up on the difficult or unusual words, but still there is
>no interest. We have tried really hard to make it less of a chore and
>anything else rather than read. We've even tried suggesting that when
>she's away from school she not read for accuracy, but read for the
>story, hoping to move from chore to joy that way, but again, no luck.
>
>
>appreciate it. This is the most important issue in our house right
>now, and while we're trying to keep it low-key and not to push (we
>don't want to put her completely off), we realize that something has
>got to change pretty soon and we're getting worried.
It sounds as if you're taking something that could be enjoyable and making
it a horrid experience for her if you're constantly correcting her as she
reads. You know this upsets her; you admit that she has a hard time with
dealing with criticism....yet it sounds as if you're constantly criticizing
her. No wonder she won't read.
My advice: Back off. Stop criticising her for her mistakes. It is only
going to add to the negative reinforcement that has begun -- "Every time I
read, Mom and Dad only tell me what I'm doing wrong. I'm not going to read
anymore so they can't do that to me."
Give her books that are easy to read (maybe a little too easy - let her have
some success and feel a sense of mastery). What are her interests? Get a
couple easy books and just leave them out. Don't force her, don't even
really point out that they're there. Just leave them someplace visible and
back off from it. Eventually, curiosity will take over.
Children also like visuals. I suggest comic books. There are many out
there that are appropriate for young children. If you like, email me
privately and I'll be happy to suggest specific titles that are child
appropriate and even girl friendly.
But bottom line: back off from the constant corrections, flash card drills
and the like. This is one area where you shouldn't be her teacher, just her
cheering section.
Leah
Davidson
pushing her or not, I'll bet she feels pushed. My advice: Let her read
really easy books, and read silently. A good series is the Polk Street
School Kids by Patricia Giff. If they are too hard, there is an easier
series featuring the little brothers and sisters of the kids in the
original series (I think it is called tne New Kids of the Polk Street
School). Series books are good because you don't have to choose what to
read next. But for goodness sakes, back off. We went through this with
our daughter learning to play cello, and in retrospect, we ruined it for
her, and she quit. She couldn't handle the corrections because she is
already a perfectionist.
Alexis
Reading is (obviously) very difficult for her but she enjoys it when
she's successful at it. She is significantly happier when reading easy
material that helps her gain confidence. She loves stories of all kinds
and being read to is one of her all-time favorite activities (despite not
being able to read, her verbal comprehension is that of a high school
student so she enjoys long, complex stories which she probably won't be
able to read herself for quite a few years).
In any event, things that I have learned that I think you should sit back
and ponder are...
1. Your daughter is NOT you or your husband. Your daughter is a unique
individual who has her own interests. Learn what these are and help her
make and acheive goals that are meaningful for her.
2. Your daughter will NOT grow up illiterate. Take it easy.
3. There is nothing cooler than reading your own books. Help your
daughter write a story, print it out on the computer and draw pictures
for it.
4. Rule out physiological problems before you label your daughter lazy
and unmotivated. (Opthalmologist, etc.)
Above all, try just being relaxed about the reading thing, buy easy books
for her to read *on her own* and read her bedtime stories just like you
have all along.
Good luck and this too will pass.
-Alexis
In article <38877734...@news.lynx.net>,
> Thanks!
> Johnna
> johnna(at)unixg(dot)ubc(dot)ca
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
MariMc25
>
Like others said, you probably should back off. It sounds like reading has
become a bit of a power struggle in your home.
Like you, I love to read and was disappointed that my sons didn't share my love
of reading. I found a book at the library called something like "Parents Who
Love Reading; Kids Who Don't". Sorry, I'm not sure of the exact title or the
author, but your librarian will probably know the book I'm referring to.
Anyway, the book gives wonderful ideas on getting kids hooked on reading.
What finally worked for me, was homeschooling my boys. I can't say that they
are 'hooked' on reading yet, but they both enjoy it. My eleven year old son
didn't read an entire book all of fifth grade--and he was a high honor roll
student.
This year, though, since we are homeschooling, I didn't buy a reading text
book. I wanted his reading to be pretty much whatever he wanted, but he had to
do some reading every day and it had to be a book. That was the only
requirement.
He grumbled at first and stuck to really easy books like Goosebumps.
One thing I noticed, was that he really had no idea how to choose a book. So,
in the beginning, I suggested several that I thought might interest him. After
a few weeks of Goosebumps, he decided to read "Old Yeller". It was one of my
favorites as a kid. It took him about three weeks, but he finished it and even
admitted to enjoying it. I think he read "Shiloh" next, and was so hooked on
dog books, that he went up to the librarian all by himself and asked her to
help him find a good dog book. She suggested "Where the Red Fern Grows", and
then he was hooked. I knew that he had become a 'reader' when he was in his
room for over two hours reading one morning, and I stuck my head in, thinking
he had fallen asleep or something. He looked up and said, "I just want to read
the next ten pages, okay?" as if he needed my permission! <g> Of course, I
said, "Sure!" and closed the door.
I think he's on his thirteenth book now and it's not unusual for him to read
for two or more hours at a time.
Mary
HodgePodge:info on Homeschooling, Hereditary Spherocytosis and Fanfiction:
http://hometown.aol.com/marimc25/index.html
toto
>How do you get an 8 year old child interested--no, hooked--on reading?
>
>My husband and I are both readers and always have been since our
>earliest memories. Our daughter (an only child) sees her father
>reading on the computer (discussion groups) most evenings, and knows
>that he reads books and magazines for his hobby. Since I'm finishing
>up my Ph.D, she's seen me reading texts almost non-stop for her entire
>life (I was doing an MA when she was born). She also knows that I
>prefer to read leisure books and magazines rather than do almost
>anything else, especially watch tv. She has had a bedtime story every
>night since she's been old enough to have one, and extra stories
>during the day when we have time. We've been trying our best to show
>by example that reading is fun, exciting, interesting, etc. She had
>her own library before she was even conceived, and it continued
>growing with a wide range of topics, from astronomy (which she and her
>dad are interested in) to Dr. Seuss and the other typical kiddie books
>to mythologies from around the world. As I've always been ready and
>willing to buy her books and take her to the library, she knows that
>books are important to the family and that there are plenty of
>opportunities for her to have some if she wishes.
Ok, that sounds fine.
>We've even
>implemented a home study period each evening during the week in which
>she works on reading, spelling, math, etc., on a rotating basis, and
>encourage her to read in her bed at night on the weekends when she's
>not tired enough to sleep.
>
Is this part of her schoolwork?
I think you are pushing her too hard to be *like* you. Perhaps she
simply wants some space to be herself. What does she like to do?
Does she dance? Does she like to paint? Is she in girl scouts?
Does she play a musical instrument? Encourage her in what she
wants to do and let the reading go for now. She will read when
she wants to do so.
This could easily be a form of rebellion against you if you are trying
to micro-manage her into doing what you want her to do even if it's
reading.
>We've done everything we can think of to encourage and foster a love
>of reading in her but it hasn't been working. She won't take books
>out from the school library, claiming that they don't have any books
>that she's "insterested" in.
Accept her word on this and don't pressure her.
>She is excited and willing to take home
>books from the public library but when she gets home is no longer
>interested in reading them. We never get stressed out when she's
>reading, but we do make her correct her mistakes.
Don't correct her. Let her read silently for heaven's sake. Why
are you making her read out loud and correcting her anyway? She
can get that at school.
> She's the kind of child who has always been upset when
>corrected (even gently and non-judgementally), and she is
>either timid or lazy (I hope not!) about doing difficult tasks.
No child likes being corrected constantly, no matter how gentle you
make the words. Try pointing out the things she does right instead
and acknowledging them (not overpraising them).
Try letting her write her own stories and reading those to you and
letting her know that you appreciate how imaginative and creative they
are. Don't worry about her spelling and grammar at this point. If
you want ot allow it she could even do this on the computer and use
the spell-checker and grammar-checker to help her find her own
mistakes. But you should probably not point out mistakes to her.
>We suspect that that is part of her reluctance to read--its difficult,
>and she makes numerous mistakes which she then has to correct.
See if you can find a series of books on a topic she likes that are
a little below her level and let her read those. That may give her
the confidence to tackle books that are harder. Or let her read above
her level without correcting her yourself. Let her ask about words
she doesn't understand instead of telling her she is wrong.
>She knows all the phonetic sounds (we used flashcards and workbooks
> at home) and can read fairly well, only getting hung up on the difficult
>or unusual words, but still there is no interest.
You cannot *make* a child interested in something. It sounds to me
like you have killed much of her interest by making it *work.* If you
want her to like reading, you are going to have to back off, imho. She
already knows how to read well from what you say.
My son is an adult who still doesn't read for pleasure much. He is
quite successful in his job and has no trouble reading and
interpreting what he needs. Kids are different and I am a big reader
and would have loved for him to follow in that. He didn't and that
was his choice. My dd loves reading fiction and non-fiction. My son
only reads for specific things he is interested in learning.
Different strokes for different folks. That's the way it goes as long
as she isn't having difficulty keeping up with her school work, why
are you so concerned about this.
>We have tried really hard to make it less of a chore and
>more of a joy for her, but haven't been successful. She'd rather to
>anything else rather than read. We've even tried suggesting that when
>she's away from school she not read for accuracy, but read for the
>story, hoping to move from chore to joy that way, but again, no luck.
>
>
>If any of you have suggestions for things we might try, we'd really
>appreciate it. This is the most important issue in our house right
>now, and while we're trying to keep it low-key and not to push (we
>don't want to put her completely off), we realize that something has
>got to change pretty soon and we're getting worried.
>
>Thanks!
>Johnna
>johnna(at)unixg(dot)ubc(dot)ca
Dorothy
There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..
source unknown
Charlene Ranger
your child. I (for one) applaud your efforts, and I think it would be great
if more parents showed such an active interest in the education of their
children.
However, I have to say that I do tend to agree with the other posts here in
that your child may feel like she is being pressured to measure up to your
standards a bit too much, as unintentional as it may be coming from you.
I think you should let her be, just let her be a kid for a while, and then
she will probably enjoy reading more, if it's on her own terms.
...Charlene
<rfi...@lynx.net> wrote in message news:38877734...@news.lynx.net...
> How do you get an 8 year old child interested--no, hooked--on reading?
>
> My husband and I are both readers and always have been since our
> earliest memories. Our daughter (an only child) sees her father
> reading on the computer (discussion groups) most evenings, and knows
> that he reads books and magazines for his hobby. Since I'm finishing
> up my Ph.D, she's seen me reading texts almost non-stop for her entire
> life (I was doing an MA when she was born). She also knows that I
> prefer to read leisure books and magazines rather than do almost
> anything else, especially watch tv. She has had a bedtime story every
> night since she's been old enough to have one, and extra stories
> during the day when we have time. We've been trying our best to show
> by example that reading is fun, exciting, interesting, etc. She had
> her own library before she was even conceived, and it continued
> growing with a wide range of topics, from astronomy (which she and her
> dad are interested in) to Dr. Seuss and the other typical kiddie books
> to mythologies from around the world. As I've always been ready and
> willing to buy her books and take her to the library, she knows that
> books are important to the family and that there are plenty of
> opportunities for her to have some if she wishes. We've even
> implemented a home study period each evening during the week in which
> she works on reading, spelling, math, etc., on a rotating basis, and
> encourage her to read in her bed at night on the weekends when she's
> not tired enough to sleep.
>
> We've done everything we can think of to encourage and foster a love
> of reading in her but it hasn't been working. She won't take books
> out from the school library, claiming that they don't have any books
> that she's "insterested" in. She is excited and willing to take home
> books from the public library but when she gets home is no longer
> interested in reading them. We never get stressed out when she's
> reading, but we do make her correct her mistakes. She's the kind of
> child who has always been upset when corrected (even gently and
> non-judgementally), and she is either timid or lazy (I hope not!)
> about doing difficult tasks. We suspect that that is part of her
> reluctance to read--its difficult, and she makes numerous mistakes
> which she then has to correct. She knows all the phonetic sounds (we
> used flashcards and workbooks at home) and can read fairly well, only
> getting hung up on the difficult or unusual words, but still there is
> no interest. We have tried really hard to make it less of a chore and
wyn
all that concerned about my kids - there's just no way they could NOT
grow up to be lovers of books, not in this house, where you can't sit
down without sitting on a book. ;-)
Here's what worked for my parents. Every weekend they'd take us to this
great bookstore, and let us pick out any book we wanted. I still fondly
recall the smell of printing ink and new books... they made a point of
never second-guessing our book choices, nothing was off limits or not
good enough. Many times we chose the junkiest stuff - like comic books,
Mad Libs, etc. It didn't matter WHAT we read, just that we did read.
For years I read junky novels.... but now I've acquired a taste for the
classics.
Also - it may help to spend less time getting your kid to read, and
more time actually reading to her. A large part of "imprinting" a love
of reading is reading to your child. This associates reading with warm
snuggly arms and cuddling before bedtime. Try the Harry Potter books.
I'm reading them now to my 7 yo (who is just barely reading at this
point). At 8 yo, you still should be reading every day to your child -
I'd say 75% of the time to every 25% she reads on her own.
Another idea - anytime your child is interested in a subject - say rock
collecting or goldfish - take her on the web with you and surf for
information. I do this with my kids - they are in awe of the web and
view it as the source for answers and information about anything they
can dream up. We've saved our fish from dying by surfing for goldfish
tips, and when my daughter wanted a pet frog, we spent hours for weeks
on end learning all about frogs. When she got nose bleeds, we
researched nose bleeds, what causes them, and how to stop them. And of
course we check out www.birthdayexpress.com to plan birthday parties!
The key is not to stress out about who's reading to whom - read to your
child, surf together as a fun project - and the rest will follow.
jen
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
wyn
past.
Each summer my siblings and I would have reading contests. We'd read
each night in bed, long into the night, and when we finished a book,
we'd throw it under the bed. At the end of the summer, the person with
the most books under the bed "won." Can't remember what we won - I
think it was bragging rights. I remember we were highly competitive in
this - and that our parents had nothing to do with egging us on - in
fact my mom would always bug us to clean out the books under the bed.
Does your daughter have a sibling or perhaps a cousin or peer that
could be enticed into a little "contest"? The trick is to get the kids
to think it's all their idea - and not yours.
Also - and I think this was key - my parents allowed us to stay up as
late as we wanted, as long as it was to read. Perhaps you can get your
daughter one of those cool reading lights, and set a new rule that she
is free to stay up late, provided it is to read?
Vljeanalanis
borrow some 'Talking stories' from the library, that she has chosen. These
are cassette tapes that, for older children, are not usually accompanied by
a book. The stories are related by a narrator. Now you could either have her
read along with the narrations and books simultaneously, or there is another
method. I'm not sure about this one, hehe, it actually sounds a bit nasty.
You could try only giving her the first half of the story on tape, and then
if the story gets her in, she has to borrow the book to find out what
happens.
Would she read material on the internet? I'm sure you could find appropriate
and interesting for her to read. You could also find her an email or snail
mail partner, hey, what about a pen pal? I mean a real life one. That would
not only enhance her reading skills (hopefully), but also her writing
skills, and an international pen pal provides good cultural exchange.
Perhaps you could get her to read aloud/ sing aloud to songs while following
lyrics?
Perhaps, again, traditional books are not the answer; let her read recipes
out to you while you cook, let her read joke books, comics, plays,
instructions, repair manuals, ask her to seek out labelled and named items
in the supermarket. Although some of these things are not, by the sounds of
it, the spiritually enriching literature you are wanting her to experience,
it will help with her vocabulary at least a little I would think? Do you
agree? I've never had to deal with this. You could also try reading to her
to keep her interest. If you start reading a while before bed or whenever,
then stop conveniently at a juicy part, she may pick up the book and
continue herself. So maybe captivating, enthralling, edge-of-yer-seater type
stories are the answers.
This is perhaps not an option that would work, or that you would want to
try, but you could also try using an incentive system. Sort out a system
that once she reads a certain number or pages/chapters/books, etc, she gets
a reward (actually positive reinforcement). For eg.- once she has finished
three chapters, she gets a small treat. Once she finishes x# of books, she
gets... a book voucher? hehe
I had another thought. Since she is enthusiastic about reading when at the
library, why don't you spend time there each day or week, whatever, to read?
She could join a book club or you could both have some quality time together
sitting and reading in a relaxing and conducive setting.
Are there younger people she could read to? This might raise her confidence
a bit.
Good luck. It is so important that she does learn to read well, however, it
may not be one of her passions.
Apologies for long post.
Valjean
delman
I won't add to the obvious point that you are making this kid's life a
nightmare by hassling and pushing and pressing her to 'like to read.'
[which if you read your own post, I bet you would come to also] But here
is another point. You seem to assume that your child should be just like
you. This is pretty oppressive. Of course we all want to share the
things we love -- like reading.
But not all kids grow up to love to read -- they have other gifts and
interests. Nothing wrong with genuine encouragement [NOT however the
pressure you describe above] but you have to accept your child as an
actual person and not an extension of yourselves.
I have a close friend with adult twin boys. She is a teacher -- her
husband a real intellectual -- their boys just never found much pleasure
in reading. They were good athletes, pretty good students, have completed
fine colleges and have jobs and are happy and productive BUT they have
never taken much pleasure in sitting down with a good book. She was
disapointed -- but rather than making them feel like failures as you are
doing with your daughter, she took pleasure in their successes.
Kids are not our possessions -- we do the best we can to introduce them to
our values and the activities we admire -- but ultimately we need to be
their cheerleaders and accept them for who they are and cheer them on and
take joy in their differences from us as well as for their realizing our
fantasies. And thety are MORE likely to join us in our interests if we
don't make that the price of our acceptance.
Rosalinde MacKinnon
to begin from the most recent and work my way up......I'm not sure how to do an
introduction yet, but i'm working on it....I used to be in another newsgroup but
forget how to do my own thread.
Anyway, I had to comment on this one because I have recently moved in with my
boyfriend and he has two children (full custody) and his girl is 8 years old. I
have always read to my children (6 and 3), but he hasn't so they don't read or
write very well. His boy is 10. I am like you in a way that I want my children
to be interested in books...but they aren't and hey, that's THEIR choice. I
still read every night to them....and now, my boyfriend's kids join in at story
time. I went to the bookstore and bought them their very own books to
read.......to my surprise they loved them and said thank you. The 8 yr old has
ALOT of problems reading and needs to sound out the words. She needs help in her
homework when she is reading instructions or writing her answers. You can't
force a child to do something they aren't interested in.....you can only offer
what is available and hope they bite. I offered the children the books and they
took them. The boy reads, but by the time the girl finishes her homework it's
bedtime! She is very slow to read.
I was never a reader.....and actually hated it in school. I have 4 years of
university and I am looking forward to going back to school because I love to do
research, paper work and read! I'm not sure where that came from, but I enjoy
it. Nobody pushed me into it....my mother never read us stories....it was just
something I chose to do.
I also would love to see one of my girls figure skate professionally.....but that
is something I can secretly wish for and hope she likes it too....but I can't
force her to do it....actually, she enjoys swimming and does a much better job at
that! We all want good things for our children, but those are choices they need
to make. I put my oldest in a French school and she is doing great. You can
steer your child in a certain direction and just hope for the best. Keep reading
to your daughter and maybe if you slowed down on your attempts for her to like
reading maybe you just may find a book in her hand one day!
It's also obvious your daughter is not interested in reading because she sees it
as a decision YOU made for her and maybe she wants to feel a little independent
at this age??
Rosalinde
saraw
She doesn't want to be lonely. She wants and needs attention. She
really really really needs to be read to--with very easy fun books that
she and the reader can laugh at, like 'Chicka-chicka Boom Boom!" read
in rap style, or 'Go Dog Go', read like it was the world's most
exciting mystery.
Here's the picture I get: Dad's on the computer or reading on his own;
Mom's working on her Ph.D, and when this child comes to ask for
something, she's met with: "Read a book". Maybe I am wrong, but that
is what it sounds like. She's lonely.
Please, Mom and Dad, read a book with her, not just to her. Read the
same one over and over, until she picks a favorite page or picture.
Put life into the words you read. Make those words so easy that she'll
want to write them on her own. Let her write her way. Let her read
what she write. Enjoy what she writes and reads to you. She has some
stages of reading that she has never been allowed to go through. Back
up. Let her go through those stages. saraw
Randy
exactly the kind of suggestionsthat we were looking for.
Johnna
On Tue, 25 Jan 2000 02:54:59 +1100, "Vljeanalanis" <rom...@rie.net.au>
wrote:
FancyPen
she simply doesn't like to. We are all individuals and our children
can be so different from us it can drive us mad. There could also be a
medical reason. I find reading frustrating because I have vision
problems. I enjoy reading, but I just can't read for very long. I
find if I'm reading longer than half an hour I start to feel dizzy.
This has always been the case. Perhaps you might like to share your
concerns with your doctor.
In article <38877734...@news.lynx.net>,
rfi...@lynx.net wrote: