More from Me - Clingy/Cranky
aj.f...@home.com
Ferber related 10/7/99). Ryan seems to be pretty unhappy today and
now I'm doubting the Ferber technique that I thought had gone so well.
Last night he was up 5 times and each time I waited 5 minutes or so
before going in. I think he's on the verge of getting some teeth so
maybe I should gone in sooner. Today he seems cranky and clingy. I
guess you'd have no way of telling but do you think its the teething
or the Ferberizing?
hamilton
Feberizing is for helping the child become sleep competent -- but this
has little to do with a child's need for comfort when there are physical
problems from a nasty diaper to sore mouth. Of course in the process of
providing comforting to a baby who is ill or has sore gums, you may get
him again habituated to having someone else deal with his sleep difficulties --
so after he is comfortable again, you may need to 're-feberize' a bit. Just
part of the ebb and flow. I know I don't want to get up because a toddler
wants to play at 2 a.m. -- but I expect to get up when he is miserable. --
and I expect to have to cope with 'post misery' sleep problems just as kids
sometimes expect continued pampering and coddling after an illness.
Janet Schwinn
Ferber etc. you need to get him comfortable.
--Janet
Elliot, Hanna, Connor (10/21/96)
<aj.f...@home.com> wrote in message
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joy...@my-deja.com
> Ferber related 10/7/99). Ryan seems to be pretty unhappy today and
> now I'm doubting the Ferber technique that I thought had gone so well.
> Last night he was up 5 times and each time I waited 5 minutes or so
> before going in. I think he's on the verge of getting some teeth so
> maybe I should gone in sooner. Today he seems cranky and clingy. I
> guess you'd have no way of telling but do you think its the teething
> or the Ferberizing?
>
I personallly would let him cry a little longer than 5 minutes.
I think you have to do what feels comfortable to you though.
You sound reallly tense from your posts.(who wouldn't be getting up 5
times) I don't think you will traumatize him -no matter how you handle
this (either getting up or letting him fuss for a bit.)
Does he have a blanket or a doll he likes? Have you tried putting this
in the crib with him?
Good Luck!
J
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Grub*67
familiar.
Hope I am wrong but it could be more than just teething! ( I wrote more in
your last thread...if interested)
--
Grub*67
"Some people think we put that we put our life on hold to raise a child
but we know that to hold a child is life"
<aj.f...@home.com> wrote in message
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Vicki Surratt
You sound like a very loving and caring mother! I remember, all too
well, those nights when my baby was crying and I was trying to decide
which was best - Ferberize or not?
To be honest with you, it doesn't matter. How many children have you
seen unable to put themselves to bed in college? High school? Middle
school? Heck, even by elementary school, most kids can put themselves
to sleep without any problems at all.
The question to Ferber or not is one that will pass quickly enough
anyway. Ryan won't be a baby for very long. What you should do is
search your heart and decide what is best for YOU with YOUR child.
Either decision will work.
Me? I Ferberized my kids. But I did it because I knew myself well
enough to know I didn't have the patience to lay with them every night
nor did I want to use the family bed method. And I also felt it wasn't
good for them to be waking up several times a night. If I couldn't feel
rested when my sleep was interrupted many times at night, how could I
expect my children to feel rested? After learning about the Ferber
method, it made complete sense to me, and so I made the personal
decision that this was right for my children and I.
But you are not me. You are you. You need to decide what you prefer.
Maybe you will enjoy laying with your son to help him fall asleep?
Maybe you would prefer the family bed method? Or, who knows, maybe the
Ferber method is your preference. Just pick whatever you think is best
for you. You know yourself, and you know your son. You know what is
best for your family. It honestly does not matter how you go about it;
Ryan will grow up safe and sound no matter what method you choose.
When Ryan wakes up, listen to his cry. If he wakes up with a full blown
cry, chances are, he's in pain. If he wakes up with a little fuss, then
it gets a bit bigger, and then it gets really big, he just may be waking
up and calling for some company to play with. At that point, you have
to decide how you prefer to answer his calls. Just listen to his cries.
See if they are the same each time. Are they different from when he
wakes up in the morning? What about when he wakes up from a nap? Would
a quiet radio give him company at night? The main thing is to listen to
the differences in the way he cries. A baby's cry is their form of
communication, and the manner in which they cry is their way of telling
you what they are trying to say.
If you think he's having teething pain, give him Motrin just before
going to bed (with your doctor's approval, of course). Motrin is an
excellent pain reliever. If he wakes up 3 hours later, chances are he
is not waking up due to pain if he's got Motrin in his system.
Remember, Motrin works for up to 8 hours while Tylenol works for only 4
hours. So the Motrin is still in full force after 3 hours of being
taken.
There are many things that could be waking him up, and you just have to
figure out how you prefer to handle it. Whatever you choose, you will
need to stick with it while he's still a baby (but you can make
different choices depending on whether he's waking because of pain or
just calling you to play). He could be waking because he had a bad
dream, because his diaper is wet, because the house is just too darned
quiet at night! Your only clue is to listen to his cry, look for a
pattern, and then do what you prefer to do for your own son.
You won't get into the issues of "spoiling" him by coming to him too
quickly when he wakes at night until he is around 2 years old. At that
point, he will be able to talk a little and can give you more
information as to what he's wanting.
90% of parenting is going by your gut instincts combined with deciding
what is your way of parenting your child in different circumstances. I
know I am an impatient person (when I did try to lay with my children to
help them sleep, I felt completely trapped - that's just me). I let my
children sleep with me while they were babies and I was still nursing.
It was just easier on us all if I brought them to bed with me (I could
then fall back asleep while my baby nursed, cuddled, and then fell to
sleep too).
The other 10% of parenting is trial and error. There is nothing that
says we can't change our plans whenever we want! Whenever something
comes up, do what you think is best. If after trying that, you find you
aren't happy with your decision, try something else. Keep trying until
you find what works for you and Ryan.
The main thing is to remember that you don't have to be absolutely
perfect all the time. Yes, it feels terrible to not answer your child's
cry - only to find out it wasn't the "come play with me" cry, but it was
the "ouch - that hurts!" cry instead. But that's not going to
permanently damage either of you. Your love will shine through even if
you do make a few mistakes along the way (and believe me, all parents
make mistakes!!).
So if Ryan cries, listen to his cry, and then let your natural instincts
take over. If those instincts tell you to cuddle him, then by all means
- cuddle him! But if your instincts say he's just wanting to play, and
he needs to get a full night's sleep or he'll feel miserable the next
day, then leave him be so he can go back to sleep on his own. Whatever
you do, if you follow your instincts, you'll be making the right choice
for you and for Ryan. You're going to do great!
Take Care!
Vicki Surratt
Proud Mom of Kathy (6) and Jenny (9)! :-)
Visit my website! http://www.vickishome.com
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