Sitter question
Cherub of Fire
for that matter, I gather tat my preferred style is close to the tenants of
AP. My question is this: Presently, I'm SAHM with my 2 month old. How do
I maintain my style while making sure he's prepared to be with a sitter, who
no doubt won't hold and cuddle with him all day? I would hate for it to be
a complete shock to him. I also have serious misgivings about my family's
advice of simply letting him get used to being by himself and crying himself
to sleep. Any suggestions?
~Luci
-
APA Charter, FAQ, links and more:
http://apa.artoo.net/
Tauni Sandy
> How do I maintain my style while making sure he's prepared to be with a
> sitter, who no doubt won't hold and cuddle with him all day? I would hate
> for it to be a complete shock to him. I also have serious misgivings
> about my family's advice of simply letting him get used to being by
> himself and crying himself to sleep. Any suggestions?
Dr Sears's "Baby Book" had a section about attachment parenting and
being a working mom. It sounds like that's what you're looking for. The
summary of his advice (it's been a few years since I read it) is to find
the best compromise that minimizes the time you're away from your baby.
Also, commit yourself to finding responsive and caring childcare. And
finally, when you're with your baby, be completely THERE. Make the time
you have together the very best it cna be for both of you.
I worked full time for the 2 months while my daughter was 4-6 months.
She was home with her dad and hated drinking bottles (even of breast
milk) so she was miserable a lot. I missed her a lot too, and we were
pretty much superglued together while I was home. I found another job
and we got by on less money.
Good luck, whatever you decide -
Tauni
Kalen
news:D6Vl8.58898$in3.16...@typhoon.nyc.rr.com...
> Although I haven't read any books on attachment parenting, or any
parenting
> for that matter, I gather tat my preferred style is close to the tenants
of
> AP. My question is this: Presently, I'm SAHM with my 2 month old. How
do
> I maintain my style while making sure he's prepared to be with a sitter,
who
> no doubt won't hold and cuddle with him all day?
Get a sitter who agrees with your values more.
> I would hate for it to be
> a complete shock to him. I also have serious misgivings about my family's
> advice of simply letting him get used to being by himself and crying
himself
> to sleep. Any suggestions?
Ignore them and do what you think is best.
Kalen
Emily Roysdon
| Although I haven't read any books on attachment parenting, or any
parenting
| for that matter, I gather tat my preferred style is close to the tenants
of
| AP. My question is this: Presently, I'm SAHM with my 2 month old. How
do
| I maintain my style while making sure he's prepared to be with a sitter,
who
| no doubt won't hold and cuddle with him all day? I would hate for it to
be
| a complete shock to him.
So, would this be a sitter who would watch him all day while you return to
work, or for occasional evenings out? No matter which it is, you need to
get him used to that person, although younger infants adjust easier than
older children do. I don't leave my children with "sitters" but use friends
and family members when needed, so I've never dealt with hiring someone to
watch my kids. I was a babysitter from age 11 to sometime in my 20s, and I
had parents who left 5 minutes after they met me, yikes! I can't imagine
now, as a mother, leaving my kids with anyone who I didn't know very well,
especially if they were one-on-one.
| I also have serious misgivings about my family's
| advice of simply letting him get used to being by himself and crying
himself
| to sleep. Any suggestions?
Definitely don't follow that advice! The early years are about building
trust, not getting him used to "life sucks" so he won't be disappointed
later. Follow your instincts on this one: you don't *have* to leave your
child with anyone that you don't want to...my life since having children
means that some outings are postponed, while others include kids.
Particularly in the early months when all they do is nurse, it's very easy
to go out to dinner or a movie *with* the baby. A babysitter is no more a
mandatory part of parenthood than using a bottle; it's just that our culture
is used to that lifestyle.
HTH,
--
Emily Roysdon,
mama to Noah Joshua (4/8/98) & Rebekah Grace, born at home (6/16/00)
http://emily.roysdon.net