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on the rock n roll

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the unicycle man(one of many)

Sep 4, 2006, 8:32:51 AM9/4/06
on the rock n roll

we sent this cunt out to
look at latex mattresses

"where th fuck did that cum from ?"

massive attack
'hymn of the big wheel'

no computer
it's miserable out and

steve irwin died today

we not goin for a dusk surf

on th unicycle

show some respect cunt


on the rock n roll

australian slang

means yr

on the dole


still not sure if

if it aint a pension but

if'n they dont make ya (look for) work

are ya still on th dole

they classify things weird these days


really sad man

we aussies are all in shock

a fuckin stingray man

we all thought he'd go

inside a twenty foot crocodile


i read captain cook's diary th other day and

how he called it stingray bay

on account of all th rays

till th botanist
convinced him with his many samples

to call it

botany bay


they went back thru his diary

th cunts

and renamed it

botany bay

in th entries

now that is fuckn rude


do that t me and

my diary's curse will

do some major nasty shit to ya


"opposite of breed maybe"


father in law

threw me a jim beam

while i waited
and we watched th shitty news


nice ppl


i didnt
sing on strete corners again

on th weekend
tryin to give it up

a six yr bad habit

the red hot chilli peppers
'track no16'

thanks computer

seems u agree

history so strong - lyric


i really really

used to enjoy

singin drug songs

in th strete

while th coppers listened

and walked by in their

five person strong wall


they never come past in ones

or even twos it seems


in the fortitude valley


so intimidating
th police presence

after midnight
th more sensitive souls have

all departed
fuck knows where

least ya knew where they were before

uk squeeze
'cool for cats'

"that is so cool", she squeeled

not another fcukin blonde

yeah i know it's fuckin cool
26 inch mountain unicycle


leavin rubber

but umm

who th fuck are you tell me it

you arent cool


"got tickets on erself"


after th
ten thousandth person

told me i was cool

i realised that

99% of em



how about when i stop

th slide stops and th unicycle gets put down

and then i'm

middle aged

male and

half black



even with a beard
and male clothes\
i still get taken for

a girl

machine gun fellatio
'pussy town'


i'm jennifer

th wizard's female personality




middle aged
aboriginal male

in australia
my prospects are



but it's only two months since

i was last blown kisses at
by th

denizens of the fortitude valley

at three AM


screamin at me from th nightclub door to

take my shirt off

i turn up th mp3 player
and dance on my unicycle for

another hour and
three more bourbons and

then i start strippin to keep th crowd happy

the panel
'closing theme'

steve irwin was 44

so am i

machine gun fellatio
'chase the dragon'

face looks fifty

six pack abs

skinny as

body looks eighteen

gotta love unicycles



some time in th future when

every other bugger has stopped talking

i'll get black to

put a coupel thousand smiles on dials

for you

something special


"bunny hop on a stingray"



[second pass]

second pass being th read thru

all those miles i've done

in a foot of water in th surf

on a unicycle
at dusk and dawn

shovel nose sharks and

stingrays are

always close to mind

and of course

for about three years nonw

a shark fin on my

wizard hat

for th performing in th city

some of th streeties call me


[second pass]

smoek yr drugs and mellow out paulo

scuse i



ya got a rare death man

stung by a sting ray

in th chest


i wonder if

that guy i used to sing with

that sung at yr

crocodile park

is still there

been so long


had three of everything


<<, smile >>>


it was two girlfriends i droppped together

last time


sex went under one day in two

yr both fired


not lookn for three computer

remember how fucked it was last time


it's that time of day
time to tune th axe and

do some fingerpickin on th guitar
scuse i psychic blog



not a long guitar practise

beatin shit out of th fingers

its not a drum paulo
"we both playin th guitar"

i did lke th rhythm
"ya even sang"

roberta flack
'the first time'

no wonder th fucker sounded so good yesterday

was tuned way bright


deb used to sing this

at th biker pub

out in th bush

i'd get up on stage

only song i;d sing onstage

for ten yrs

i'm slow ok


although my diary doesnt say it deb

comin hoem from th buskers jam

on a sunday dawn

after i'd sung in th street fr

six hrs or so and

ridden th unicycle

three hrs
before that

in brisbane city

comin home from th buskers jam

i'd sometimes smile and

have some kind thought of you


monday nights like this u used to
throw me around yr dungeon

teachin me
martial arts and

we'd have a good time


go on

you can punch th second dan
black belt


in th tits

when she's ovulating


ok so ya dont have any stones


she's a steamroller man

just go straight over th top of ya

seen me when my savages nuts are grabbin me bad ?

soemthin like that


i gotta gorilla
hangin off my nuts

swingin on a
knitting needle

inserted thru th left testicle
more drugs over here

scuse i



[the witchdoctor enters th room]


hey kutaman
"hey babe"

black eyed peas
'my humps'

shouldnt call yr sister babe

specially if she lives in yr own head


"get a little white dog up ya"


"how'd ya go ?"

i'm well thanks

how are you today ?

"answer th question"



there are no API calls

u can make to media player

not version 9 anyway

wanna hack it anyway ?

i want th track data and

i aint th only one

oh and

th database format would be good too


"how long did it take ya ?"
i read posts goin back four years and

learned some stuff
couple of hours

"so spy++ was right"


lets go solidly to mp3 and
convert all th music in th computer

and we'll write our own search and monitor routines
and expose it's internal thinking

to windows messaging system

'i will survive'

cross process messaging
was easier in win 95

askin explorer
dot exe

for info on th icon locations

microsoft dont wanna
give em away


th programming community screamin

removed all references to it's

original API calls

changed everythin and

all their pages disappeared


wot else is new ?


thought i'd try a
different way to get

cross prcoess messaging since

memory mapped files

no longer worked

so i

did a visual scan of th desktop and located

th shortcut

to th icons and

found em that way


th operating system changed th shortcut arrow colour and i went

wot th fuck ?


programming is weird


media player does not do

cross process messaging and

exposes nothing


"we could download th sdk and"

"write an active x object"

"to be a plugin and"

"be inside media players address space"

and it would work for one version right ?

"if it could be done probly yeah"

how would ya cross process message to outside program ?

"memory mapped file"



'everything in it's right place'

or i could embed
media player control

in my app and
set it random play everythin and

grab titles and song data that way


it's buggy


fuck ya
i think i go all mp3 and

write my own front end


shouldnt be too hard to find
source code to read and write mp3 headers

my music files are gunna be
all over th place for a while

"put em on th scuzzi"


tell me two times

"lost too many hard drives"


i got a good overview of
how many other ppl want th same info

or somethin similar


[second pass]

"gotta live dejanews newsgroup search"

it's google now black

[second pass]

blood sweat and tears
'spinning wheel'

come on black
crack th cunt


"i havent found where it's storing"
"th current song"

"it;s not in th registry"
where would u put it ?

"in a hidden ini file"


"try this"
"shut down media player and see if it"
"comes back with same song"
"same as proper shutdown"

kill process ?



"it didnt remember it"

"try again but shut it down properly"
"little x in th top right corner"


it doesnt keep a live record

"we assume"


only when it unloads itself from memory
"in it's shutdown event"


i'll shift my focus to

id tags for mp3's

"have a look for a umm"

"wma hack"


hang on a tick


that helper is pullin

artist name from wma file but not

track name


"research is"



kylie minogue
'after dark'

nah mini gooey

when little brother stops takin phone calls


is already dark

stupid computer



that many rays hey

fuck man

sounds hauntingly familiar

from my reading th other day


go figure


stabbed in th heart by a sting ray

is quicker than
in th death roll
of a twenty foot croc

kinda fast


they call me sharkie

in th fortitude valley

'bump bump bump'

my shark brothers
done taken out

a real nice man




drive it like ya stole it


watchn top gear




nice tv show


th mr garrison unicycle

we goin for a uni surf before we jump online

random numbers ?

"yeah, sounds good"

"just popped my head otu th door and"
"a gorgeous night"

"nearly three quarter moon and"

"a bunch of fluffy clouds"



good drugs and a well balanced unicycle

"life is good"


lift some random number generator code will ya


it's been fuckin ten yrs man

never writin crypto software again


cant use that
non random

rnd function


"alright babe"


if ya write this
i might use it as th front end

for th picture
sound comparator

embed a control to play em or
just pass em to th operating system to play

use default player
"how do ya know when it's finished ?"

i did see a hack for that


more drugs over here

scuse i


write my own fuckin routine to
lift th song metadata out of th songs files and

i wont have to write


stupid computer

it has to bee


to write th names of th songs in for me

cause i liek to record em

th songs i listen to

as i write up my diary


but computer

randomness seems to

chuck th most amazing synchronicity and

i'm basically a lazy bugger

i'll write ya this program

ya got my attention


no one sees th world like sbs

the telly just screamed out

scuse i

while i turn th fucker off


this one guy

"or girl"

sorry i didnt check

wanted their program

to stop if th word

love was sung



ya cant write
word recognition in




the prodigy
'out of space'

stand back


"i wrote picture recognition in basic"


"anything is possible"


we'll have to put something weird in this project


"it'll eventually"

"recognise th songs from th"
"pictures th sounds make"


it'd make a good front end for it

an all drive scan

collect all music and

play randomly


i like th stenographic idea
of random number production

"we used it ten yrs ago"


"it doesnt have to be as complicated as that beast"

i want this thing to have

u have a choice of

random number generators

"choice of seed"

'lick my pussy'

have a think about it black

while we're surfin th unicycle to th
service station

janie needs air

massive attack

"i know it;s yr favourite surfin song jennifer"
"i am with ya when th unicycle starts dancin"

"after i've had this smoke"
"i'll put on th ridin gear"



truth is
i'm sweatin like a pig

scuse i


gotta put th shock of wild hair

back up and

put some nice smells
under my armpits


worked hard

now that was a better workout



i 've had some drugs and

some coffee and

still freaked

david essex

rock on

started playin

just as i

broke into th mc donalds carpark

at warner village

but beautiful
baby bum smooth

newst patch of

clean bitumen

in th neighbourhood

th unicycle sails thru it


went cunt up

ridin in th gravel onto

th wooden bridge

where'd th fuckin gravel go ?

'Napoleon Bona- Part One / Napoleon Bona- Part Two'

oh we've had like

five inches of rain and

in th dark

two inch jump can actually be


made it on th second attempt and

it was th only stack inth

gravel and


we found to ride thru

still jumpin nearly every traffic island hey black ?

"<<<smie l>>>"

still sweating


had 20 pound in th tyre

why it stuck so well last night

i put in 27


"dont let that david essex song"
"play again goint hru that carpark ok"


it was fun


"janies dancin nice"

we gotta do th

suspension beast man

we cant drfit over th gravel

that size

any faster without


"fuck it was hairy"

hairy as i am


need another cone paulo
that was a wild ride

ate some pot before liftoff and
it's a magical early spring night


flew on instruments down

the isis road

closed my eyes that is

i think it's ironic

bein on th isis road


but th unicycle

she doesnt dance

if ya know wot i mean

till ya close yr eyes and

let go


thanks janie

yr a beautiful

26 inch 48 spoke unicycle

and fuck u are well balanced


i was thinkin

comin home th back way formth servo

had to cross th creek

thru th bike path and

all dark as sin

i wouldnt of

used ta

even ride a safety bicycle down this lane

in th dark

without a light

but then

as i was travelin

i thought to myself

they dont ride

by th seat of th pants

quite as well


i saw good enough
i didnt go cunt up

cept onto th wooden bridge

which was a good giggle

'i will follow'

not unless ya can do

fourty k's an hour on a unicycle


fuck she's fast thru that carpark

still wont take my surf wheel in th white water though

turbo charged by th waves


th weight has to come off th rear

of th prototype

suspension unicycle

to make it safer amongst pedestrians

amongst other things

but right now

it's late enough to log on and

nick some


coupel of porno's

and do a little less strenuous surfing

on th internet

fuck that was a good surf man


i ejaculate

i am


pirate jenny
"the land surfer"

tenacious d

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