on the rock n roll
the unicycle man(one of many)
+++
we sent this cunt out to
look at latex mattresses
"where th fuck did that cum from ?"
+++
massive attack
'hymn of the big wheel'
+++
no computer
it's miserable out and
steve irwin died today
we not goin for a dusk surf
on th unicycle
show some respect cunt
+++
on the rock n roll
australian slang
means yr
on the dole
+++
still not sure if
if it aint a pension but
if'n they dont make ya (look for) work
are ya still on th dole
they classify things weird these days
+++
really sad man
we aussies are all in shock
a fuckin stingray man
we all thought he'd go
inside a twenty foot crocodile
+++
i read captain cook's diary th other day and
how he called it stingray bay
on account of all th rays
till th botanist
convinced him with his many samples
to call it
botany bay
+++
they went back thru his diary
th cunts
and renamed it
botany bay
in th entries
now that is fuckn rude
+++
do that t me and
my diary's curse will
do some major nasty shit to ya
+++
nirvana
'breed'
+++
"opposite of breed maybe"
+++
trippy's
father in law
threw me a jim beam
bourbon
while i waited
and we watched th shitty news
+++
nice ppl
+++
i didnt
sing on strete corners again
on th weekend
tryin to give it up
a six yr bad habit
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no16'
+++
thanks computer
seems u agree
history so strong - lyric
+++
i really really
used to enjoy
singin drug songs
in th strete
while th coppers listened
and walked by in their
five person strong wall
+++
they never come past in ones
or even twos it seems
anymore
in the fortitude valley
+++
so intimidating
th police presence
after midnight
th more sensitive souls have
all departed
fuck knows where
dickheads
least ya knew where they were before
+++
uk squeeze
'cool for cats'
+++
"that is so cool", she squeeled
not another fcukin blonde
yeah i know it's fuckin cool
26 inch mountain unicycle
sidewyas
leavin rubber
but umm
who th fuck are you tell me it
you arent cool
+++
"got tickets on erself"
+++
after th
ten thousandth person
told me i was cool
i realised that
99% of em
weren;t
+++
how about when i stop
th slide stops and th unicycle gets put down
and then i'm
middle aged
male and
half black
in
australia
+++
even with a beard
and male clothes\
i still get taken for
a girl
+++
machine gun fellatio
'pussy town'
+++
gday
i'm jennifer
th wizard's female personality
+++
cunts
+++
middle aged
aboriginal male
in australia
my prospects are
well
+++
but it's only two months since
i was last blown kisses at
by th
denizens of the fortitude valley
at three AM
+++
screamin at me from th nightclub door to
take my shirt off
i turn up th mp3 player
and dance on my unicycle for
another hour and
three more bourbons and
then i start strippin to keep th crowd happy
+++
the panel
'closing theme'
+++
steve irwin was 44
so am i
+++
machine gun fellatio
'chase the dragon'
+++
face looks fifty
six pack abs
skinny as
body looks eighteen
gotta love unicycles
+++
steve
some time in th future when
every other bugger has stopped talking
i'll get black to
put a coupel thousand smiles on dials
for you
something special
+++
"bunny hop on a stingray"
paulei
+++
[second pass]
second pass being th read thru
all those miles i've done
in a foot of water in th surf
on a unicycle
at dusk and dawn
shovel nose sharks and
stingrays are
always close to mind
and of course
for about three years nonw
a shark fin on my
wizard hat
for th performing in th city
some of th streeties call me
sharkie
[second pass]
smoek yr drugs and mellow out paulo
scuse i
.
.
.
+++
ya got a rare death man
stung by a sting ray
in th chest
+++
i wonder if
that guy i used to sing with
that sung at yr
crocodile park
is still there
been so long
+++
had three of everything
+++
efua
'somewhere'
+++
<<, smile >>>
+++
it was two girlfriends i droppped together
last time
+++
sex went under one day in two
yr both fired
+++
not lookn for three computer
remember how fucked it was last time
+++
it's that time of day
time to tune th axe and
do some fingerpickin on th guitar
scuse i psychic blog
.
.
.
unpause:
not a long guitar practise
beatin shit out of th fingers
its not a drum paulo
"we both playin th guitar"
i did lke th rhythm
"ya even sang"
+++
roberta flack
'the first time'
+++
no wonder th fucker sounded so good yesterday
was tuned way bright
+++
deb used to sing this
at th biker pub
out in th bush
i'd get up on stage
only song i;d sing onstage
for ten yrs
i'm slow ok
+++
although my diary doesnt say it deb
comin hoem from th buskers jam
on a sunday dawn
after i'd sung in th street fr
six hrs or so and
ridden th unicycle
three hrs
before that
in brisbane city
comin home from th buskers jam
i'd sometimes smile and
have some kind thought of you
++
monday nights like this u used to
throw me around yr dungeon
teachin me
martial arts and
we'd have a good time
+++
gorillaz
'dare'
+++
go on
you can punch th second dan
black belt
chick
in th tits
when she's ovulating
+++
ok so ya dont have any stones
+++
she's a steamroller man
just go straight over th top of ya
seen me when my savages nuts are grabbin me bad ?
soemthin like that
+++
i gotta gorilla
hangin off my nuts
swingin on a
knitting needle
inserted thru th left testicle
more drugs over here
scuse i
.
.
.
+++
[the witchdoctor enters th room]
+++
hey kutaman
"hey babe"
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
shouldnt call yr sister babe
specially if she lives in yr own head
+++
"get a little white dog up ya"
+++
"how'd ya go ?"
i'm well thanks
how are you today ?
"answer th question"
cunt
+++
there are no API calls
u can make to media player
not version 9 anyway
wanna hack it anyway ?
i want th track data and
i aint th only one
oh and
th database format would be good too
+++
"how long did it take ya ?"
i read posts goin back four years and
learned some stuff
couple of hours
"so spy++ was right"
yeah
+++
lets go solidly to mp3 and
convert all th music in th computer
and we'll write our own search and monitor routines
and expose it's internal thinking
to windows messaging system
+++
cake
'i will survive'
+++
cross process messaging
was easier in win 95
askin explorer
dot exe
for info on th icon locations
microsoft dont wanna
give em away
+++
th programming community screamin
microsnot
removed all references to it's
original API calls
changed everythin and
all their pages disappeared
+++
wot else is new ?
+++
thought i'd try a
different way to get
cross prcoess messaging since
memory mapped files
no longer worked
so i
did a visual scan of th desktop and located
th shortcut
to th icons and
found em that way
and
th operating system changed th shortcut arrow colour and i went
wot th fuck ?
+++
programming is weird
+++
media player does not do
cross process messaging and
exposes nothing
+++
"we could download th sdk and"
"write an active x object"
"to be a plugin and"
"be inside media players address space"
and it would work for one version right ?
"if it could be done probly yeah"
how would ya cross process message to outside program ?
"memory mapped file"
+++
hmm
+++
radiohead
'everything in it's right place'
+++
or i could embed
media player control
in my app and
set it random play everythin and
grab titles and song data that way
hmmm
+++
it's buggy
+++
fuck ya
i think i go all mp3 and
write my own front end
+++
shouldnt be too hard to find
source code to read and write mp3 headers
my music files are gunna be
all over th place for a while
"put em on th scuzzi"
+++
tell me two times
"lost too many hard drives"
+++
i got a good overview of
how many other ppl want th same info
or somethin similar
black
[second pass]
"gotta live dejanews newsgroup search"
it's google now black
[second pass]
+++
blood sweat and tears
'spinning wheel'
+++
come on black
crack th cunt
+++
"i havent found where it's storing"
"th current song"
"it;s not in th registry"
where would u put it ?
"in a hidden ini file"
+++
"try this"
"shut down media player and see if it"
"comes back with same song"
"same as proper shutdown"
kill process ?
"yes"
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
"ok"
"it didnt remember it"
"try again but shut it down properly"
"little x in th top right corner"
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
it doesnt keep a live record
"we assume"
+++
only when it unloads itself from memory
"in it's shutdown event"
+++
ok
i'll shift my focus to
id tags for mp3's
"have a look for a umm"
"wma hack"
ok
hang on a tick
.
.
.
that helper is pullin
artist name from wma file but not
track name
hmm
"research is"
later
online
+++
kylie minogue
'after dark'
+++
nah mini gooey
when little brother stops takin phone calls
+++
is already dark
stupid computer
+++
.
.
.
that many rays hey
fuck man
sounds hauntingly familiar
from my reading th other day
+++
go figure
+++
stabbed in th heart by a sting ray
is quicker than
in th death roll
of a twenty foot croc
kinda fast
+++
they call me sharkie
in th fortitude valley
+++
b2k
'bump bump bump'
+++
my shark brothers
done taken out
a real nice man
+++
.
.
.
+++
drive it like ya stole it
+++
watchn top gear
+++
.
.
.
+++
nice tv show
stay
+++
th mr garrison unicycle
we goin for a uni surf before we jump online
random numbers ?
"yeah, sounds good"
"just popped my head otu th door and"
"a gorgeous night"
"nearly three quarter moon and"
"a bunch of fluffy clouds"
"magic"
+++
good drugs and a well balanced unicycle
"life is good"
+++
lift some random number generator code will ya
+++
it's been fuckin ten yrs man
never writin crypto software again
+++
cant use that
non random
rnd function
+++
"alright babe"
+++
if ya write this
i might use it as th front end
for th picture
sound comparator
embed a control to play em or
just pass em to th operating system to play
use default player
"how do ya know when it's finished ?"
i did see a hack for that
+++
more drugs over here
scuse i
.
.
.
write my own fuckin routine to
lift th song metadata out of th songs files and
i wont have to write
this
+++
U2
'desire'
+++
stupid computer
it has to bee
programmed
to write th names of th songs in for me
cause i liek to record em
th songs i listen to
as i write up my diary
+++
but computer
randomness seems to
chuck th most amazing synchronicity and
i'm basically a lazy bugger
i'll write ya this program
ya got my attention
+++
no one sees th world like sbs
the telly just screamed out
scuse i
while i turn th fucker off
+++
this one guy
"or girl"
sorry i didnt check
wanted their program
to stop if th word
love was sung
hmmm
+++
ya cant write
word recognition in
visual
basic
paulo
+++
the prodigy
'out of space'
+++
stand back
+++
"i wrote picture recognition in basic"
+++
"anything is possible"
+++
we'll have to put something weird in this project
+++
"yeah"
"it'll eventually"
"recognise th songs from th"
"pictures th sounds make"
+++
it'd make a good front end for it
an all drive scan
collect all music and
play randomly
+++
i like th stenographic idea
of random number production
"we used it ten yrs ago"
+++
"it doesnt have to be as complicated as that beast"
i want this thing to have
u have a choice of
random number generators
"choice of seed"
+++
khia
'lick my pussy'
+++
have a think about it black
while we're surfin th unicycle to th
service station
janie needs air
+++
massive attack
'protection'
+++
"i know it;s yr favourite surfin song jennifer"
"i am with ya when th unicycle starts dancin"
"after i've had this smoke"
"i'll put on th ridin gear"
.
.
.
+++
george
'truth'
+++
truth is
i'm sweatin like a pig
scuse i
.
.
.
gotta put th shock of wild hair
back up and
put some nice smells
under my armpits
+++
worked hard
now that was a better workout
+++
ok
i 've had some drugs and
some coffee and
still freaked
david essex
rock on
started playin
just as i
broke into th mc donalds carpark
at warner village
but beautiful
baby bum smooth
bitumen
newst patch of
clean bitumen
in th neighbourhood
th unicycle sails thru it
+++
went cunt up
ridin in th gravel onto
th wooden bridge
where'd th fuckin gravel go ?
+++
budgie
'Napoleon Bona- Part One / Napoleon Bona- Part Two'
+++
oh we've had like
five inches of rain and
in th dark
two inch jump can actually be
four
made it on th second attempt and
it was th only stack inth
gravel and
puddles
we found to ride thru
still jumpin nearly every traffic island hey black ?
"<<<smie l>>>"
still sweating
+++
had 20 pound in th tyre
why it stuck so well last night
i put in 27
+++
"dont let that david essex song"
"play again goint hru that carpark ok"
+++
it was fun
+++
"janies dancin nice"
we gotta do th
suspension beast man
we cant drfit over th gravel
that size
any faster without
suspension
"fuck it was hairy"
hairy as i am
+++
need another cone paulo
that was a wild ride
ate some pot before liftoff and
it's a magical early spring night
+++
flew on instruments down
the isis road
closed my eyes that is
i think it's ironic
bein on th isis road
++++
but th unicycle
she doesnt dance
divine
if ya know wot i mean
till ya close yr eyes and
let go
+++
thanks janie
yr a beautiful
26 inch 48 spoke unicycle
and fuck u are well balanced
+++
i was thinkin
comin home th back way formth servo
had to cross th creek
thru th bike path and
all dark as sin
i wouldnt of
used ta
even ride a safety bicycle down this lane
in th dark
without a light
but then
as i was travelin
i thought to myself
they dont ride
by th seat of th pants
quite as well
+++
i saw good enough
i didnt go cunt up
cept onto th wooden bridge
which was a good giggle
+++
U2
'i will follow'
+++
not unless ya can do
fourty k's an hour on a unicycle
+++
fuck she's fast thru that carpark
still wont take my surf wheel in th white water though
turbo charged by th waves
+++
th weight has to come off th rear
of th prototype
suspension unicycle
to make it safer amongst pedestrians
amongst other things
but right now
it's late enough to log on and
nick some
code
coupel of porno's
and do a little less strenuous surfing
on th internet
fuck that was a good surf man
+++
i ejaculate
therefore
i am
.
.
.
pirate jenny
"the land surfer"
+++
p.s.
tenacious d
'friendship'