Having a laugh part 2.
DJ Taz
here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
this thread)!!
Taz
i q test
Here's A quick test of intelligence. Don't cheat! Because if you
did,the
test would be no fun.I promise, there are no tricks to the test.
Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not
go
back and count them again.
Answer below:
ANSWER:
There are six F's in the sentence.One of average intelligence finds
three of
them.If you spotted four, you're above average.If you got five, you can
turn
your nose at most anybody.If you caught six, you are a genius. There is
no
catch.Many people forget the "OF"'s. The human brain tends to see them
as V's
and not F's.
Pretty weird, huh? Pass it on...
DJ Taz
--
http://www.afuturesound.co.uk/
Al
> FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
> SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
> IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
> THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
>
> Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not
> go
> back and count them again.
8.
>If you caught six, you are a genius.
What does that make *me* then? I used to be dyslexic, but I'm arlihgt
now :)
Rod Cookson
Should have been *Irish* tap dancer, I realise, but that would have been
awful un-PC and simply won't do.
Rod Cookson
>
> As I promised a while back I will keep posting funny humourous emails etc
> here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
> this thread)!!
Did you hear the one about the tap dancer? He fell in the sink!
[A joke that has amused me since I was about 5, perhaps reflecting an
inability to develop beyond that perfect naive state of existence.]
I, for one, would be very happy for others to post bad jokes in an
effort to make this ng entertaining for dissatisfied viewer Joanne...
Pete Biggs
Rod Cookson <r...@mclean-press.com> writes:
> DJ Taz wrote:
> >
> > As I promised a while back I will keep posting funny humourous emails etc
> > here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
> > this thread)!!
>
> Did you hear the one about the tap dancer? He fell in the sink!
>
Or the one about the morris dancer? He fell of the bonnet.
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pete Biggs :{) pe...@physchem.ox.ac.uk pete....@chem.ox.ac.uk
Phone: 01865 275490 (Work) 01865 275410 (Fax) pe...@biggs.org.uk
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~veni, vermini, vomui~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rod Cookson
> Or the one about the morris dancer? He fell of the bonnet.
Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
Richard H Walters
>As I promised a while back I will keep posting funny humourous emails etc
>here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
>this thread)!!
One time special, courtesy of a Dr RJ Hughes, formerly from the Other Place:
What do you call a blackbird with 3 dogs?
The Spice Girls.
The other 3 jokes are omitted on the grounds of taste.
--
Richard H Walters
Simon Godfrey
and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next
morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast,
and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely
flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she
slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive
nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly
started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed
back and once more brought her back upright. This went on
all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old
woman was adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me
fart."
*********
>>> > Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher said "today we are going
>>to
>>> > learn multi-syllable words. does anybody have an example of one that
>>they
>>> > can share with the class?"
>>> > Little Johnny puts up his hand and says "Mas-tur-bate"
>>> > Miss Rogers blushes and says "Wow thats quite a mouthfull Johnny"
>>> > Little Johnny replies no miss your thinking of a Blow-Job.
>>> >
>>> > One day during a lesson on propar Grammar the teacher asked for a show
>>of
>>> > hands from those who could use the word beautiful twice in a sentance.
>>> > 1st she called on little Suzie who said "my father bought my mum a
>>> beautiful
>>> > dress and she looked beautiful in it"
>>> > "Very Good" said miss Rogers
>>> > Then she called on Micky he said "my mum planned a beautiful banquet
>and
>>> it
>>> > turned out beautifully"
>>> > "Excellent" said miss Rogers
>>> >
>>> > Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
>>> > "Last night at the dinner table my sister told my dad that she was
>>> pregnant
>>> > and he said beautiful fucking beautiful.
>>> >
>>> > How to impress a women...
>>> > Wine her, dine her, call her, hug her, hold her, surprise her,
>>compliment
>>> > her, shop with her, give her jewellery, buy her flowers, hold her
hand,
>>> > write her love letters, go to the end of the earth for her.
>>> > How to impress a man...
>>> > Show up naked, bring a beer.
DJ Taz <dj...@madasafish.com> wrote in message
news:s8mumso...@corp.supernews.com...
> As I promised a while back I will keep posting funny humourous emails etc
> here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
> this thread)!!
>
> Taz
>
> i q test
>
> Here's A quick test of intelligence. Don't cheat! Because if you
> did,the
> test would be no fun.I promise, there are no tricks to the test.
>
> Read this sentence:
> FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
> SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
> IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
> THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.
>
> Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not
> go
> back and count them again.
KDBANGLIA
>
>As I promised a while back I will keep posting funny humourous emails etc
>here and there, come on everyone lets see some funny emails etc. (only on
>this thread)!!
>
>Taz
>
Does anyone have a combination of a single equation explained in two ways with
two (seemingly) correct results of differing values?
I came across this at the now defunct Cowley Road College of Engineering (now
blocks of flats) and couldn't be arsed to be interested back then. It's taken
a couple of decades to eat away at my brain.
Richard.
Jonathan Chin
> Does anyone have a combination of a single equation explained in two
> ways with two (seemingly) correct results of differing values?
x^2=1
HTH
-jc
DJ Taz
dancer who wasn't from england lol...!!!
Taz
"Rod Cookson" <r...@mclean-press.com> wrote in message
news:388D8591...@mclean-press.com...
> > Did you hear the one about the tap dancer? He fell in the sink!
>
KDBANGLIA
>> Does anyone have a combination of a single equation explained in two
>> ways with two (seemingly) correct results of differing values?
>
>x^2=1
>
> HTH
>
The example was a bit more extensive than that and the workings out would take
about 20 lines. Column 1 at the bottom of the blackboard or page would be one
answer and column 2 would be give another result.
I assume that the workings are somewhat related to the rather silly, "how many
digits on two hands do I have?" "Five plus (looks at other hand) ten, nine,
eight, seven, six, add the two gives 11."
Richard.