Hallowed Ground: Roadside Memorials (in B.C.) - Connect the Living with the Dead
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Hallowed ground
Memorials connect the living with the dead
By Dustin Walker, Daily NewsAugust 15, 2009
At a pullout along Plummer Road, where a worn ceramic angel hangs from a
makeshift cross and sun-faded photographs cling to the side of a power pole,
Rob Murison speaks to his son.
He struggles to find the words to describe his connection to this shady spot
near the Englishman River, the last place he saw his son Neil alive after
the 20-year-old volunteer firefighter crashed his motorcycle while
navigating the winding Parksville road. Rob, a paramedic, was first on the
scene after the 911 call came in.
"How can you explain it?" asked Rob, pausing to gather his thoughts. "It's a
place I go and talk to him all the time. It's a personal thing. I feel more
of a connection down there."
This shrine to Neil Murison is among the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of
roadside memorials that have popped up on Vancouver Island over the years.
Touched by the sight of these tributes while travelling across B.C.,
Parksville photographer Keith Cyr set out to document as many of the
memorials he could find on Vancouver Island. His book In Memory Of . . .
will be released later this month.
After photographing more than 50 memorials on the Island, Cyr has a sense of
how important these tiny roadside collections of photos, flowers and toys
are to the families who erect them.
"It's about remembering the people and helping preserve their memory," he
said.
Roadside monuments provide the grief-stricken with a personal connection to
the dead, a customized tribute that's in stark contrast to the grey
uniformity of cemeteries.
And these memorials may even benefit people with no connection to the site
at all. Despite concerns they can become a distraction, some experts say
roadside memorials may actually reduce crashes.
In a sense, they stand as a warning to the living as much as a tribute to
the dead.
Rob drives past the site of Neil's accident almost every time he leaves his
home. Sometimes, he can tell when someone else has visited.
"Things appear every now and then and it makes me smile because it makes me
feel good that people haven't forgotten him," said Rob. "People put stuff
there because it had a personal significance between him and them and I may
never know what it was."
Roadside memorials provide an immediate and constant reminder of those who
have died, said Dr. Janet Donohoe, an expert in memorials at the University
of West Georgia. These monuments are seen more frequently and with less
effort than compared to a traditional cemetery, she said. They also provide
a deep emotional connection in mourning.
"They are a desire to connect with the grieving as well as the dead," said
Donohoe, in an e-mail.
James Humphries makes the 10-minute walk to where his son Jamie, 19, and his
best friend Jason Gow, 18, died in a car crash in 2000 along Jingle Pot
Road. Even nine years later, James still finds a new item every now and then
at the memorial for the two talented athletes.
"They don't usually leave any trace of who it was," he said, adding that
since Jamie was cremated, he considers the spot his final resting place.
Dr. Neil Neil, a Qualicum Beach psychologist, said erecting memorials
provides a sort of ritual that gives family members closure.
Roadside memorials were common when North America was being settled, as
there was no other option but to bury the dead by the trail. In many First
Nations communities, everyone helps to fill in the grave, providing a ritual
for closure.
"In our society, we turn that over to strangers who we pay to do it, but we
miss out on the value of the ritual itself," he said, adding memorials are
especially useful when celebrities die. "How would all the people who were
mourning Michael Jackson's death deal with it, if they couldn't light a
candle or lay a wreath or put flowers because they weren't going to be
included in the funeral itself?"
The psychologist also points out that it's common to see crumbling roadside
memorials that haven't been touched for years.
"Really what's happening is they're moving on with their lives," he said,
adding some aboriginal cultures believe that when a totem marking the grave
of a loved one naturally rots away, that signifies it is time to move on.
But every situation is different. Both James Humphries and Rob Murison plan
to keep up their sons' memorials forever.
Concerns that the growing number of roadside memorials may distract drivers
have led to some jurisdictions to regulate the monuments. However, one study
says these makeshift shrines may actually improve traffic safety.
Donohoe said an increase in roadside memorials across North America may stem
from a rising interest in historical sites and a desire to be "on the spot"
where a tragedy occurred.
Along stretches of road in the U.S. that see heavy traffic and high death
tolls, states have regulated the use of memorials requiring permits and
limiting the amount of time they can be erected.
The B.C. government allows roadside memorials, providing they don't create a
hazard.
A University of Calgary study released last year found that 17% fewer
drivers ran red lights at the urban intersections where memorials were put
up, but no major changes in driver behaviour were found when the shrines
were placed alongside high-speed roadways.
The study's author, road safety expert Richard Tay, concluded there was no
downside in allowing the memorials.
But years after a makeshift shrine has been abandoned, some people consider
the grim sight of crumbling crosses and moulding stuffed animals to be an
eyesore, says Louise Knox, MADD chapter services manager for western Canada.
She's trying to implement a program in B.C. similar to one MADD offers with
the Ontario government where permanent signs are erected to mark the spot
where someone died in a highway crash.
"So we try to meet somewhere in the middle," said Knox, adding that the
signs wouldn't take the place of makeshift memorials. "
I believe roadside memorials are a great educational tool as well. People
see them and slow down."
Humphries said he wouldn't be interested in a metal sign marking the last
spot his son was alive. He prefers the crosses and photo that mark the
sacred place he still visits just about every night.
"I'd like to keep it exactly the way it is."
Hallowed ground
Memorials connect the living with the dead
By Dustin Walker, Daily NewsAugust 15, 2009
At a pullout along Plummer Road, where a worn ceramic angel hangs from a
makeshift cross and sun-faded photographs cling to the side of a power pole,
Rob Murison speaks to his son.
He struggles to find the words to describe his connection to this shady spot
near the Englishman River, the last place he saw his son Neil alive after
the 20-year-old volunteer firefighter crashed his motorcycle while
navigating the winding Parksville road. Rob, a paramedic, was first on the
scene after the 911 call came in.
"How can you explain it?" asked Rob, pausing to gather his thoughts. "It's a
place I go and talk to him all the time. It's a personal thing. I feel more
of a connection down there."
This shrine to Neil Murison is among the dozens, perhaps hundreds, of
roadside memorials that have popped up on Vancouver Island over the years.
Touched by the sight of these tributes while travelling across B.C.,
Parksville photographer Keith Cyr set out to document as many of the
memorials he could find on Vancouver Island. His book In Memory Of . . .
will be released later this month.
After photographing more than 50 memorials on the Island, Cyr has a sense of
how important these tiny roadside collections of photos, flowers and toys
are to the families who erect them.
"It's about remembering the people and helping preserve their memory," he
said.
Roadside monuments provide the grief-stricken with a personal connection to
the dead, a customized tribute that's in stark contrast to the grey
uniformity of cemeteries.
And these memorials may even benefit people with no connection to the site
at all. Despite concerns they can become a distraction, some experts say
roadside memorials may actually reduce crashes.
In a sense, they stand as a warning to the living as much as a tribute to
the dead.
Rob drives past the site of Neil's accident almost every time he leaves his
home. Sometimes, he can tell when someone else has visited.
"Things appear every now and then and it makes me smile because it makes me
feel good that people haven't forgotten him," said Rob. "People put stuff
there because it had a personal significance between him and them and I may
never know what it was."
Roadside memorials provide an immediate and constant reminder of those who
have died, said Dr. Janet Donohoe, an expert in memorials at the University
of West Georgia. These monuments are seen more frequently and with less
effort than compared to a traditional cemetery, she said. They also provide
a deep emotional connection in mourning.
"They are a desire to connect with the grieving as well as the dead," said
Donohoe, in an e-mail.
James Humphries makes the 10-minute walk to where his son Jamie, 19, and his
best friend Jason Gow, 18, died in a car crash in 2000 along Jingle Pot
Road. Even nine years later, James still finds a new item every now and then
at the memorial for the two talented athletes.
"They don't usually leave any trace of who it was," he said, adding that
since Jamie was cremated, he considers the spot his final resting place.
Dr. Neil Neil, a Qualicum Beach psychologist, said erecting memorials
provides a sort of ritual that gives family members closure.
Roadside memorials were common when North America was being settled, as
there was no other option but to bury the dead by the trail. In many First
Nations communities, everyone helps to fill in the grave, providing a ritual
for closure.
"In our society, we turn that over to strangers who we pay to do it, but we
miss out on the value of the ritual itself," he said, adding memorials are
especially useful when celebrities die. "How would all the people who were
mourning Michael Jackson's death deal with it, if they couldn't light a
candle or lay a wreath or put flowers because they weren't going to be
included in the funeral itself?"
The psychologist also points out that it's common to see crumbling roadside
memorials that haven't been touched for years.
"Really what's happening is they're moving on with their lives," he said,
adding some aboriginal cultures believe that when a totem marking the grave
of a loved one naturally rots away, that signifies it is time to move on.
But every situation is different. Both James Humphries and Rob Murison plan
to keep up their sons' memorials forever.
Concerns that the growing number of roadside memorials may distract drivers
have led to some jurisdictions to regulate the monuments. However, one study
says these makeshift shrines may actually improve traffic safety.
Donohoe said an increase in roadside memorials across North America may stem
from a rising interest in historical sites and a desire to be "on the spot"
where a tragedy occurred.
Along stretches of road in the U.S. that see heavy traffic and high death
tolls, states have regulated the use of memorials requiring permits and
limiting the amount of time they can be erected.
The B.C. government allows roadside memorials, providing they don't create a
hazard.
A University of Calgary study released last year found that 17% fewer
drivers ran red lights at the urban intersections where memorials were put
up, but no major changes in driver behaviour were found when the shrines
were placed alongside high-speed roadways.
The study's author, road safety expert Richard Tay, concluded there was no
downside in allowing the memorials.
But years after a makeshift shrine has been abandoned, some people consider
the grim sight of crumbling crosses and moulding stuffed animals to be an
eyesore, says Louise Knox, MADD chapter services manager for western Canada.
She's trying to implement a program in B.C. similar to one MADD offers with
the Ontario government where permanent signs are erected to mark the spot
where someone died in a highway crash.
"So we try to meet somewhere in the middle," said Knox, adding that the
signs wouldn't take the place of makeshift memorials. "
I believe roadside memorials are a great educational tool as well. People
see them and slow down."
Humphries said he wouldn't be interested in a metal sign marking the last
spot his son was alive. He prefers the crosses and photo that mark the
sacred place he still visits just about every night.
"I'd like to keep it exactly the way it is."