sick death jokes!!!!
Dane
> Any one is fair game.....except Liberace. The reason is because he was a
> wonderful piano player.....Although he sucked on the organ.
>
> ALLRIGHT GANG---YOUR TURN...GO TO IT!!!!!
LOL!!! I hadn't heard that one about Liberace. Very funny.
All right *deep sigh* because you asked....
Regarding Princess Diana's car, it's just as well it was totaled. Because as
hard as it is to get blood off the dashboard, it's harder getting Di out of
upholstery.
*wince* Please don't anyone shoot *me* for that. That's awful.
Dane
mack twamley
Dane wrote in message <3633E24F...@hotmail.com>...
>
>
>
>> Any one is fair game.....except Liberace. The reason is because he was a
>> wonderful piano player.....Although he sucked on the organ.
>>
>> ALLRIGHT GANG---YOUR TURN...GO TO IT!!!!!
>
My only Liberace story is about the time his brother George was leaving the
house and reminded Lib that the piano tuner was going to tune the pianos
that afternoon and to let him in.
When George returned late in the day he shouted up the stairs to his brother
"Has the piano tuner come yet?"
The answer came back from upstairs "No, but his eyes are getting glassy!"
FlaPlanet
Marvin Gaye's father, I thought of how when celebs die, there are usually a
rash of sick jokes about their death.....How 'bout sharing some of the
classics? I'll start with a few faves and oldy goldies most of us have
heard...
Q: Why can't you go to the bathroom at a Beatles concert?
A: 'Cause there's no john.
Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie
Marvin Gaye's dad had his own label---MowDown Records.
Islandersa
So his friends could come by for a cold one
"After you use the bathroom, you don't have to stick your head in the bowl to
know it is time to flush." - Alan Keyes
John Vogel
: Q: What kind of wood doesn't float?
: A: Natalie
Dang, I was going to say that one.
Q: How do you reunite the Beatles?
A: Three more bullets.
John
jvo...@i1.net
DESSCRIBE1
Well, here are a couple that really made me wince when I first heard them:
Christa McAuliffe's last words: "What's this button do?"
What did Grace Kelly have that Natalie Wood could've used?
A good stroke.
(I'm probably misremembering that last one, since Grace Kelly had a cerebral
hemorrhage and not a stroke while driving...but I can't remember who else it
could've been about. Anyway, who said accuracy was important to sick humor?)
Erich
"I'm just a nasty, narrow-minded jade" (Bonzo Dog Band)
Matthew Hubbard
> >ALLRIGHT GANG---YOUR TURN...GO TO IT!!!!!
> Well, here are a couple that really made me wince when I first heard them:
> Christa McAuliffe's last words: "What's this button do?"
Okay, bad taste I can do.
++++
If Mama Cass had given Karen Carpenter a bite of her sandwich,
they both might be alive today.
++++
While the news reports say Bing Crosby died walking off the golf
course, other sources say he died on the seventh hole. Besides a great
entertainer dying, it was also the longest round of golf ever played.
You know the problem.
Hit a shot, drag Bing, hit a shot, drag Bing...
++++
After Sonny Bono and another entertainer (can't remember who
right now) both died within weeks of one another in skiing accidents,
someone posted on this group: "This is bad, because these things usually
happen in groups of trees."
T
Remember the commecials that sparked this one?
The last broadcast from the Shuttle? "No, I meant a BUD light."
Wolfenhnd
>hemorrhage and not a stroke
Aren't these the same things?
***-.._.--**-.._..-.........Wolfenhnd.......-.._..-**--._..---***
Andrew R. Spartz
>
> ALLRIGHT GANG---YOUR TURN...GO TO IT!!!!!
Other than THAT Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?
-----
Why were JFK and RFK lousy boxers?
-- Neither could take a shot to the head.
--
Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men.
-- George S. Patton Jr.
Ejucaided Redneck
>
> Reading the thread of awful...ah hell---funny sick jokes about the death of
> Marvin Gaye's father, I thought of how when celebs die, there are usually a
> rash of sick jokes about their death.....How 'bout sharing some of the
> classics?
Anybody got some where the subject is John Denver?
Sam Yorko
>
> Christa McAuliffe's last words: "What's this button do?"
>
What color was Christa McAuliffe's eyes?
Blue; one "blue" this way, and one "blue" that way.
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts
Tom James
Why didn't Christa McAuliffe take a shower before the shuttle launch?
She figured she'd just wash up on shore later.
Sam Yorko wrote in message <3634DB...@compuserve.com>...
James N Beaver
They found his Head & Shoulders in the bushes.
Ricardo Muldoni
John Vogel
: How'd they know Vic Morrow had dandruff?
:
: They found his Head & Shoulders in the bushes.
Heard same about Christa McAuliffe ("Found her Head & Shoulders washed up
on the beach")
I was *trying* to remember that one. Thank you.
John
jvo...@i1.net
John Vogel
: >cerebral
: >hemorrhage and not a stroke
:
: Aren't these the same things?
No. A stroke can be cause either by a cerebral hemorrhage or a blood
clot.
John
jvo...@i1.net
Me
>
> > Any one is fair game.....except Liberace. The reason is because he was a
> > wonderful piano player.....Although he sucked on the organ.
> >
>
>
> All right *deep sigh* because you asked....
>
> Regarding Princess Diana's car, it's just as well it was totaled. Because as
> hard as it is to get blood off the dashboard, it's harder getting Di out of
> upholstery.
Well since your on the subject of Di..........
What was the last thing to go through Princess Di's mind?
The front seat.
What color were princess Di's eyes?
Blue, one blew this way one blew that way ;(
The first joke was obviously derived from the one about Curt Cobain,
the last thing to go through his mind was his teeth.
One more, did you know one of the Space Shuttle Challenger Astronauts
smuggled shampoo aboard? Yep, Nasa found Head and Shoulders on the
beach.
Well, I'm on a roll, here's another Shuttle joke.
What was the last thing Christa McCullife said to her husband?
You feed the kids and I'll feed the fish.
********************************************************************
"I went to my friend Jeffrey Dahmers' for dinner. I said Jeff, I don't
like your friends. He said, that's ok, just eat the noodles."
Me
>
> >ALLRIGHT GANG---YOUR TURN...GO TO IT!!!!!
>
>
>
What was the last thing heard said on the Space Shuttle Challenger?
"Ok, Ok, let her drive."
Alright, I'm outta here.
Andrew R. Spartz
>
> The first joke was obviously derived from the one about Curt Cobain,
> the last thing to go through his mind was his teeth.
Q: What has more brains than Curt Cobain?
A: His wall
Matthew Kruk
>
> On Mon, 26 Oct 1998 13:49:54 -0800, Ejucaided Redneck <briarh...@yall.com>
> wrote:
>
> > Anybody got some where the subject is John Denver?
>
> ...
Last song was "Rocky Mountain Die"
Paula Steger
> A: Natalie
Q:Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the yacht?
A: Because she wanted to wash ashore
James N Beaver
Lars / wOOd wrote in message <363f6472...@news.demon.nl>...
>
>I heard that this one really happened:
>
>Someone said to Orson Welles
>
>"I heard you buried your wife"
>
>and he was supposed to have answered
>
>"I had to, she died"
>
>Which is a death joke, albeit not really sick. :)
It's actually from an old W.C. Fields movie.
Jim Beaver
Lars / wOOd
I heard that this one really happened:
Someone said to Orson Welles
"I heard you buried your wife"
and he was supposed to have answered
"I had to, she died"
Which is a death joke, albeit not really sick. :)
Cheers,
Lars
.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.
"Musique, Non Stop..."
Kraftwerk, 1986
Lars . wOOd . Acid Demons
http://www.acid.demon.nl
.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.
DESSCRIBE1
>All right *deep sigh* because you asked....
>
>Regarding Princess Diana's car, it's just as well it was totaled. Because as
>hard as it is to get blood off the dashboard, it's harder getting Di out of
>upholstery.
>
>*wince* Please don't anyone shoot *me* for that. That's awful.
>
>Dane
Well, I actually first heard about Diana's death when a disc jockey interrupted
a recorded program to announce:
"Sorry to break in like this, but we've just received some breaking news...it
seems that Princess Di has lived up to her name..."
Erich
Islandersa
The radiator
Babaloo Mapizio
Cheese.
Ray
It appears that he had this idea about a "Dead Blonde Trilogy"
--
Ray
Ray
Because she was not wearing a seatbelt
--
Ray
Pete Fummy
That Derek
Q: What do Charles Lindbergh and Pelle Lindbergh have in common?
A: They're both dead Flyers.
Q: What do cholesterol and Donna Rice have in common?
A: They both stop Harts from running.
Q: What's the difference between Bonnie Lee Bakley (Mrs. Robert Blake) and Danny Aiello?
A: Bonnie Lee Bakley has her head shot OUTSIDE Italian restaurants! [It's a showbiz joke. In NYC, actor Aiello seemingly has signed framed photos (i.e., headshots) in every other pizza joint.]
Q: What was Billy Joel's biggest hit?
A: The one with the telephone pole.
Q: How come there were never many jokes about Rev. Jim Jones and the Jonestown massacre?
A: The punch lines were too long.
Q: What did one shark say to the other when they saw Leon Klinghoffer coming?
A: "Hey, look ... meals on wheels."
Q: How come Helen Keller cannot have kids?
A: Because she's dead!
Q: What's black on the outside and white on the inside?
A: Len Bias's nose.
Q: Why can't Rock Hudson get car insurance?
A: Because he keeps on getting rear-ended.
Q: What do Cheerions, Arm & Hammer, and Woody Allen have in common?
A: They all come in yellow boxes.
Didja hear about Marvin Gaye's new single?\
"I Heard it Through the Carbine."
***************************************
In Heaven, John Lennon was feeling depressed. Bob Marley came along and learned that the former Beatle really missed Yoko and Sean. Wanting to cheer him up, Marley invited Lennon to a big party that night on Steve McQueen's cloud.
Later, as Lennon was readying himself for the party, Marley dropped by and informed him that the party had been called off with the explanation "Bobby Sands got there five minutes early and ate all the food."
***************************************
Q: Why does Helen Keller only uses one hand to pleasure herself?
A: She uses the other hand to moan.
Q: What killed Willie Nelson?
A: He was playing "On the Road Again."
Have you seen Ray Charles's new album?
He hasn't seen it either.
Q: What do you get when you cross Jacques Derrida and Don Corleone?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Didja hear about Roman Polanski's new film?
"Close Encounters with the Third Grade."
Q: What's Benjamin Britten doing nowadays?
A: Decomposing.
Q: Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon?
A: In-Diana.
Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: One does the moonwalk ... The other one molests small children.
Q: What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for small children to play with ... The other one is something you haul groceries in.
Q: What did the dentist say to the Woody Allen film?
A: "Open wide."
Didja hear Abraham Lincoln was Jewish?
Yes, he was shot in the temple.
Q: Why was John-John Kennedy buried at sea?
A: Because Teddy was leading the motorcade.
Didja hear about the new movie about JFK Jr.?
"Three unerals and A Wedding."