Bing Crosby's sons
GCarras
look up the HOLLOW MAN (I'll have to check out the Bing web page I sazw this
on..)
I know Bing is said to have been abusive but isn't this hearsay? On top of all
of that, Bing was a wonderful and homey laid back,conservative guy.
This is from a extensive Steven Lewis website on the guy
(In case you have not already gussed, I am totally and entirely on Mr.Crosb';ys
side./)
(c)Steven Lewis
No infringement intended
Shortly after his death two books painted a different portrait of Bing Crosby
from the Santa Cros image that dominated the public consciousness. In 1981 Bing
Crosby: The Hollow Man by Shepherd and Slatzer and in 1983 Going My Own Way by
Gary Crosby portrayed Bing as distant, cold-hearted and strict. Bing was
accused of alcoholism during his early days in show business, unreliability,
walking out on the Rhythm Boys without informing the other two members of his
intentions to dissolve the group, verbal abuse of his children (Gary said he
called him "bucket britches" because of his weight problem), beating his kids
to the point of drawing blood, abandoning his family for prolonged periods,
affairs with other women while married to Dixie Lee, abandoning Dixie while she
lay dying so he could film another movie, refusing to attend honors banquets
for Bob Hope, refusing to help his brother Bob get a start in show business,
preventing Dorothy Lamour from co-starring in the final Road picture and so
forth.
Some of the accusations are true; some are caricatures. One can do a 'hatchet
job' on anyone by focusing on negative or controversial elements while ignoring
alternative interpretations and relevant details. A sure formula for a
best-seller is to cast a respected public figure in a sinister role. If you
can't find dirt, at least you can find dust, which you can call dirt.
Probably the most damaging criticism of Bing came from his son, Gary, regarding
Bing as a father. The fate of Bing's first family -- two sons (Lindsay and
Dennis) committed suicide and a third (Gary) wrote an unflattering book about
his Dad -- makes it clear that Bing was not gifted in familial skills. Bing's
ideas of child-rearing were from the dark ages, but Bing grew up in the dark
ages. He was raised in an era before Doctor Spock, when the dominant maxim of
child-rearing was "spare the rod, spoil the child." Bing's mother followed the
same philosophy with her kids, and Bing's wife fully supported Bing's
'tough-love' approach to the four boys.
According to Bing's son, Phillip:
I'm real tough with my kids and our father was that way because he had been
raised that way. His mother was a very beloved woman, but she was a tyrant. She
had the fear of all -- my dad, his four brothers and my two aunts -- up until
she died. ... So dad was very strict, but he was fair. Of course, our mother
was very strict too, because we were four very high-spirited kids. She'd let us
have it and then when Dad got home that night she'd give him the story. And
we'd get it again! It was always a double-header. (Thompson, p156)
In his 1953 autobiography Bing says that Dixie criticized him as too lenient
with the kids:
There have been times when I couldn't tell whether I was Captain Bligh in a
Hawaiian sport shirt or the cream puff of the world, for Dixie used to tell me
that I was too lax, that I wasn't strict enough, and that I forgot our boys'
transgressions too soon. She used to reproach me with, "You punish them; then
ten minutes later you're taking them to a movie. That's bad. You should let the
memory of their punishment linger so they'll remember it. (Call Me Lucky, 1953,
p205-206)
It's clear from both Bing and his sons that Bing's motivation for the rigid
discipline imposed on his sons was fundamentally well-intentioned.
Quoting Gary:
I'm sure father had received threats against us that we didn't even know about
and probably will never know about. Not knowing about it made it tough for us.
We couldn't figure out why we couldn't do what the other guys did. So to us it
was like he was chaining us up. He was over-strict, but at least it was because
he really cared and was something he really felt deeply about .... (Thompson,
p87)
Bing was determined to protect his kids from the risks of celebrity offspring
and to raise something other than Hollywood brats. To this end Bing and his
first wife conspired to play the role of drill sergeants to the boys.
Unfortunately, the prescription did not fit the patients.
According to Gary:
It was inconceivable to him [Bing] that the outside world wouldn't treat us
[Bing's children] the same as it treated him. He had never experienced being on
the receiving end of hatred and anger. He liked everyone, and everyone liked
him back. He was a very civilized man. We were not civilized. We were wild
Indians, and he didn't have it in him to comprehend why we drank and carried on
and did all the dumb things we did. (Going My Own Way, p284)
The more his kids rebelled the more restrictive Bing became, setting up a sort
of vicious cycle that ended in what has been called the paradise syndrome -- a
family of polygamous alcoholics, quarreling amongst themselves, without purpose
in life, living off their parents' trust fund, whining that their problems in
life were all Dad's fault. At least Phillip didn't whine.
Gary wrote:
The old man [Bing] believed what he believed, and he thought he was doing
right. He wasn't any tougher than a lot of fathers of his generation. And a lot
of kids can handle that kind of upbringing without any difficulty. It was too
bad that my brothers and I didn't buy it and turn out the way he wanted. That
would have made it very comfortable for everyone. But whatever the reasons, we
didn't. Linny and the twins clammed up like a shell. I bulled my neck and
fought him tooth and nail all the way down the line. To my own destruction. The
discipline just didn't work with us. (Going My Own Way, p285)
The trend amongst the simple-minded tabloid authors has been to place most of
the blame for the fate of his first family on Bing. Even Bing fell into this
trap. But why would Bing's actions play a more significant role in the
development of the personalities of his kids than their mother's behaviors?
Dixie spent a lot more time with the kids than did Bing, who, like the typical
American father of the era, was gone most of the time earning the family income
and hanging out with his sports buddies while mom took care of the kids.
Dixie was a decent woman, but she suffered from shyness, depression and,
eventually, alcoholism. She grew increasingly reclusive throughout the
marriage, repeatedly turning down Bing's requests to accompany him on trips and
social outings. There is reason to believe that Dixie's 'demons' drove her to
attempt suicide on at least one occasion. Although the tabloid authors blame
Bing for the fate of the first family, a more profound influence on the kids
would seem to be Dixie, who could have passed along to them her 'demons'
genetically and/or environmentally. Dixie died of cancer at age 40, leaving
Bing -- the family superstar and ultimate disciplinarian -- to become the
'sacrificial lamb' when son Gary decided to cash in on his self-destructive
behavior at his father's expense.
Although Gary's fingerwagging at his famous father attracted the bulk of
attention to his book, he also reveals that life outside the Crosby home was no
featherbed either. The four boys were treated quite different by their peers
from most children. And this 'special' treatment was often cruel and
frightening.
Gary complained:
I didn't have to worry about my classmates buttering me up. Most of them seemed
to feel that because I was Crosby's kid I had life easy and [that I] thought I
was hot stuff. To even things out a bit, they took it upon themselves to make
sure I paid my dues. It started as early as second grade. I remember being
afraid to go out to recess because two of the boys in class gave me the sign
they were going to whip me. I couldn't understand why they were angry.... A
confused, frightened seven-year-old had no way of knowing what they really
wanted. It seemed like maybe they wanted to whip my ass because they just
didn't like me or my name or my father or something, but I couldn't be sure. I
only knew it wouldn't help to argue with them and that my only choices were to
fight back or run. That day I ran... They caught me and finished the job.... By
the next year I had become fairly good at it [fighting]. I started to win some.
The school had moved me ahead a grade and I was the smallest boy in class, but
I had so much anger in me by then I could whip kids twice my size. (Going My
Own Way, page 10)
The first set of Crosby offspring had to cope with a reclusive, alcoholic
mother; a distant but strict father; and often harsh peer pressure because of
their father's unprecedented celebrity. Yet in today's tabloid kingdom Bing
gets almost all the blame for the fate of the first family. The conventional
tabloid wisdom is to interpret Bing's increasingly harsh discipline of his four
boys as the primary cause of their self-destructive behavior instead of a
futile response to it. Bing has been transformed into a tabloid scapegoat,
largely as a result of Gary's need to market his book.
Bing never claimed to be a great actor or a great singer, and certainly not a
great father. In fact, he routinely claimed just the opposite. But the public
had other thoughts. The public expected Bing to be great at anything he tried:
crooning, acting, radio, television, sports .... and childrearing. To this end
he was voted Outstanding Screen Father in 1946. When Gary burst the public's
fantasies about life with Papa Bing in 1983 many reacted as if Bing had
deceived them. In fact, all along the public had been projecting their
fantasies onto Bing.
If Christmas has any universal meaning, that meaning is redemption. In a 1959
interview with columnist Joe Hyams, Bing blamed himself for the outcome of his
first family:
I guess I didn't do very well bringing my boys up. I think I failed them by
giving them too much work and discipline, too much money and too little time
and attention. But I did my best and so did their mother. I'm getting another
chance with Tex (Harry Lillis Crosby Jr. age five months). And with Kathy
(Grant) as help I'll do better. (Bing Crosby Tells of Struggle with Four Unruly
Sons, by Joe Hyams, San Francisco Chronicle, March 27, 1959)
There is no doubt that Bing could have been a better parent to his first
family. But if Bing had dropped dead in 1940 the boys would probably have
turned out pretty much the same, except Gary would have had to find someone
else to blame for his self-destructive behavior. Meanwhile, Bing's behavior
toward his second family reveals that his redemption was real. Even Gary noted
the difference:
He takes a lot more. You can see him looking at them [Bing's second brood]
sometimes like he'd like to give them a shot in the back of the head -- but he
kind of holds himself back a little and listens to them a little more. Whatever
mistakes he thought he'd made with us, he is making sure he's not going to make
with them. (Thompson, p220)
Bing was helped in his redemption by his second wife, Kathryn, who was a much
stronger, more secure woman than Dixie Lee. Many of Bing's buddies from the old
days resented her for this. She was better able to cope with the floodlights we
focus on celebrities and their families that make 'normal' family life nearly
http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/Pennvalley/biology/lewis/crosby/
||| Bing's Home Page ||| Developed by Steven Lewis
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Hello, I'll be your serving wench Melinda, May I taketh the order?"-Janeane
Garofalo
Zachariah Love
Zachariah Love, Commissioner
The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
http://stiffs.com
"If you build it, they will die."
GCarras
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>Why did you post this here, other than the fact that GOD's an idot?
GCarras
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family?
JBFranck99
In article <19990131020840...@ng138.aol.com>,
gca...@aol.comSPAMLESS (GCarras) writes:
>I know Bing is said to have been abusive but isn't this hearsay? On top of
>all
>of that, Bing was a wonderful and homey laid back,conservative guy.
>
Since the claim of abuse came from his son Gary, it would not be considered
hearsay. However, Gary was trying to cash in on the "Mommy Dearest" craze that
was going on at the time - so he had ample reasons to lie. As far as I can
remember, none of his other children supported the claims of abuse.
JBF
The world was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your
children.
Terrymelin
Yes, sir it is all hearsay written by disgruntled talentless sons. To date
there has been no definitive, well-research objective biography of the life and
career of Bing Crosby, one of the most popular entertainers of the 20th
century. That is what is needed to tell the whole story not just bits and
pieces of it from biased parties.
Terry Ellsworth
Larry
Said Philip, Gary's younger brother [about Gary Crosby]: "If anything,
he wasn't
abused enough or he wouldn't be the complete dud he is. It's a dead
takeoff of Christine
Crawford's book (about her mother Joan Crawford). He's 100 percent to
blame for the
book," Philip said.
"Gary was really a pain in the neck as a little boy. He was a liar. He
would do things and
look at Mom and Dad right in the face and lie right out of a situation.
He always was a
whining crybaby. He always felt that everyone put on him because his
name was Crosby,
yet he used to strut around like a rooster just smart-mouthing people
saying 'I don't have
to do this because my dad's Bing Crosby.'"
Philip added: "The worst part about this is his motive for writing the
book. I believe,
Number One, he's trying to copy Christina Crawford. Most people say it's
for the money,
but there's really one reason: He's so totally void of any talent, as
far as he's lost his
singing voice through all those years of drinking, yelling, screaming
and getting sick on
stage. He must have thought the only way he could keep his name in the
papers and
possibly get on talk shows is to write something very controversial in
the hope it will
snowball into as big a success as Christina Crawford's did.
"He was being interviewed on television about the book and I couldn't
believe my ears --
he was trying to build a case for child abuse. My parents were strict
but they weren't
overstrict. They had a very definite set of rules and guidelines -- for
example, don't talk
back to a grown-up, never speak disrespectfully to your teachers. I
would not call any of
the punishment 'beatings' -- that word has the connotation of someone
picking up a
two-by-four and whacking you until drawing blood. Most of the time Dad
just whacked him
across the hands. He and Mom did use the belt once in a while, but only
when we definitely
deserved it."
Gary's first wife, Barbara Cosentino, who divorced him in 1981 after 19
years of marriage,
said of the 'tell-all' book: "I do not know if what's in the book is
true but he never said
anything to me about whippings. I think it all got a little out of hand.
I certainly never
witnessed anything between him and his father. I couldn't believe it
when I read the book
because it just didn't sound like Gary. I can't pinpoint it. Gary said
to me before I read it,
'It's not the same book I wrote.'"
Lindsay Crosby, 45, married three times, also defended Bing. "He was a
good father. It
was a happy childhood. We had our differences, but we were raised to
respect our parents,
to do what they said. If we didn't, we got punished."
Talking about the book, Lindsay said: "As far as I know he wrote it
because it was about
himself and what he felt his life was about. I don't think it had
anything to do with Daddy
Dearest. I understand what he's trying to prove. I don't think he did
anything wrong."
And Dennis Crosby, 48, told the STAR he too had a "good childhood,"
adding "It was
strict but I didn't see any of that (violent beatings) around me. Gary
might have had it
tougher because he was the oldest and got the brunt of everything."
Dennis also denied that his father drove Dixie to drink and had other
women: "He had to
do what he had to do because of the business he was in. That involved
going away. She
didn't like that and she didn't want to go, but that was between them.
Yes, she was an
alcoholic, a nice one. I liked her," said Dennis.
As for the book, "It's Gary's business. If people want to read it and
believe it, it's their
own prerogative. I don't hold grudges. I think Gary is fine except he
has one heck of a
temper. If he could control that he'd be fine."
GCarras
>From: jbfra...@aol.comFafnir (JBFranck99)
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>
>
>
>In article <19990131020840...@ng138.aol.com>,
>gca...@aol.comSPAMLESS (GCarras) writes:
>
>>I know Bing is said to have been abusive but isn't this hearsay? On top of
>>all
>>of that, Bing was a wonderful and homey laid back,conservative guy.
>>
>
>Since the claim of abuse came from his son Gary, it would not be considered
>hearsay. However, Gary was trying to cash in on the "Mommy Dearest" craze
>that
>was going on at the time - so he had ample reasons to lie. As far as I can
>remember, none of his other children supported the claims of abuse.
>
>
So true. If you asked,tyou would definitely know Phillip Crosbhy defendwed Bing
a and called Gary a crybaby.Kathryn recalled Gary was a pschyco.
EVARNER1
remember him for is he was a supporting cast member on "Adam-12". He played a
"pain in the neck" on that show.
Louis Epstein
: Is Gary Crosby still alive? I thought I read where he died. The only thing I
: remember him for is he was a supporting cast member on "Adam-12". He played a
: "pain in the neck" on that show.
Gary is dead.
GCarras
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Yeah. I've seen that. (I'm the one who posted the thread in the first place,
BTW> Hee is the URL<a
href=":http://www.kcmetro.cc.mo.us/Pennvalley/biology/lewis/crosby/bing.ht
m">The Bing page</a>