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In Search Of: The World's Tackiest Dead Celebrity Joke
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ThatDerek
Aug 12, 2012, 5:58:35 PM8/12/12
to
These are the tackiest ones I know:
Did you know Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his "Head 'n' Shoulders" in the bushes. [I think this one was in one of those "Truly Tasteless Jokes" jokebooks by "Blanche Knott" in the 1980s.]
Why were there never many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones and Jonestown? The punch lines were too long.
What did one shark say to the other when they saw Leon Klinghoffer coming their way? "Hey, look, Meals on Wheels."
Liberace was a great piano player but he sucked on the organ.
I didn't write the foregoing but here's the tackiest dead celebrity joke I ever wrote:
What's the differnce between Danny Aiello and Bonnie Lee Blakely (Mr.s Robert Blake)? Danny Aiello has his headshot INSIDE Italian restaurants (OK, this joke doesn't really play outside the NYC area where seemingly every other pizzeria or Italian restaurant has the ubiquitous signed photo, i.e. a "headshot," of Mr. Aiello hanging on its wall).
Did you know Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his "Head 'n' Shoulders" in the bushes. [I think this one was in one of those "Truly Tasteless Jokes" jokebooks by "Blanche Knott" in the 1980s.]
Why were there never many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones and Jonestown? The punch lines were too long.
What did one shark say to the other when they saw Leon Klinghoffer coming their way? "Hey, look, Meals on Wheels."
Liberace was a great piano player but he sucked on the organ.
I didn't write the foregoing but here's the tackiest dead celebrity joke I ever wrote:
What's the differnce between Danny Aiello and Bonnie Lee Blakely (Mr.s Robert Blake)? Danny Aiello has his headshot INSIDE Italian restaurants (OK, this joke doesn't really play outside the NYC area where seemingly every other pizzeria or Italian restaurant has the ubiquitous signed photo, i.e. a "headshot," of Mr. Aiello hanging on its wall).
R H Draney
Aug 12, 2012, 6:55:58 PM8/12/12
to
ThatDerek filted:
>n the bushes. [I think this one was in one of those "Truly Tasteless Jokes"=
>ever wrote:=20
>
>What's the differnce between Danny Aiello and Bonnie Lee Blakely (Mr.s Robe=
>rt Blake)? Danny Aiello has his headshot INSIDE Italian restaurants (OK, th=
>is joke doesn't really play outside the NYC area where seemingly every othe=
>r pizzeria or Italian restaurant has the ubiquitous signed photo, i.e. a "h=
Q: What was John Lennon's last hit?
A: The pavement.
Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
A: Three more bullets.
Q: Why is Yoko like Ethiopia?
A: They both live off of dead Beatles.
Just think, if Chapman had aimed just a couple of feet to the left, he'd be
considered a hero.
And in an unrelated direction, some of us on alt.movies.silent (when it was
still something of a going concern as a conversation forum) were kicking around
silent-film-related T-shirt ideas...mine was:
"It's not really a party unless they have to carry you out."
-- Virginia Rappe
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
>
>These are the tackiest ones I know:
>
>Did you know Vic Morrow had dandruff? They found his "Head 'n' Shoulders" i=
>These are the tackiest ones I know:
>
>n the bushes. [I think this one was in one of those "Truly Tasteless Jokes"=
> jokebooks by "Blanche Knott" in the 1980s.]
>
>Why were there never many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones and Jonestown?=
>
> The punch lines were too long.
>
>What did one shark say to the other when they saw Leon Klinghoffer coming t=
>
>heir way? "Hey, look, Meals on Wheels."
>
>Liberace was a great piano player but he sucked on the organ.
>
>I didn't write the foregoing but here's the tackiest dead celebrity joke I =
>
>Liberace was a great piano player but he sucked on the organ.
>
>ever wrote:=20
>
>What's the differnce between Danny Aiello and Bonnie Lee Blakely (Mr.s Robe=
>rt Blake)? Danny Aiello has his headshot INSIDE Italian restaurants (OK, th=
>is joke doesn't really play outside the NYC area where seemingly every othe=
>r pizzeria or Italian restaurant has the ubiquitous signed photo, i.e. a "h=
>eadshot," of Mr. Aiello hanging on its wall).
Here's the ones we were telling in 1981:
Q: What was John Lennon's last hit?
A: The pavement.
Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
A: Three more bullets.
Q: Why is Yoko like Ethiopia?
A: They both live off of dead Beatles.
Just think, if Chapman had aimed just a couple of feet to the left, he'd be
considered a hero.
And in an unrelated direction, some of us on alt.movies.silent (when it was
still something of a going concern as a conversation forum) were kicking around
silent-film-related T-shirt ideas...mine was:
"It's not really a party unless they have to carry you out."
-- Virginia Rappe
....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
esb100
Aug 12, 2012, 10:45:25 PM8/12/12
to
On Aug 12, 7:42 pm, Pat Peeve <pat.pe...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> A. Natalie.
>
> Q. What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind?
> A. His teeth.
>
> Q. Why aren't there more JFK, Jr. jokes?
> A. They just haven't surfaced yet.
Why didn't John Denver need to shower on the day he died? Because he
washed up on shore. (From Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show)
> On 8/12/2012 5:55 PM, R H Draney wrote:
>
>
>
> > Here's the ones we were telling in 1981:
>
> > Q: What was John Lennon's last hit?
> > A: The pavement.
>
> > Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
> > A: Three more bullets.
>
> > Q: Why is Yoko like Ethiopia?
> > A: They both live off of dead Beatles.
>
> Q. What kind of wood doesn't float?
>
>
>
> > Here's the ones we were telling in 1981:
>
> > Q: What was John Lennon's last hit?
> > A: The pavement.
>
> > Q: What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
> > A: Three more bullets.
>
> > Q: Why is Yoko like Ethiopia?
> > A: They both live off of dead Beatles.
>
> A. Natalie.
>
> Q. What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind?
> A. His teeth.
>
> Q. Why aren't there more JFK, Jr. jokes?
> A. They just haven't surfaced yet.
Why didn't John Denver need to shower on the day he died? Because he
washed up on shore. (From Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show)
Steve Hayes
Aug 13, 2012, 12:46:37 AM8/13/12
to
On Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:58:35 -0700 (PDT), ThatDerek <that...@yahoo.com>
wrote:
>These are the tackiest ones I know:
The tackiest one I know was told after the death of Mocambique president in an
air crash:
When rescuers arrived on the scene of the crash, this conversation was heard:
1st rescuer: Here's Samora Machel.
2nd rescuer: And here's Samora Machel.
3rd rescuer: And here's Samora Machel.
--
Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Blog: http://khanya.wordpress.com
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk
wrote:
>These are the tackiest ones I know:
air crash:
When rescuers arrived on the scene of the crash, this conversation was heard:
1st rescuer: Here's Samora Machel.
2nd rescuer: And here's Samora Machel.
3rd rescuer: And here's Samora Machel.
--
Steve Hayes from Tshwane, South Africa
Blog: http://khanya.wordpress.com
E-mail - see web page, or parse: shayes at dunelm full stop org full stop uk
J.D. Baldwin
Aug 13, 2012, 8:40:28 AM8/13/12
to
In the previous article, esb100 <esb...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Why didn't John Denver need to shower on the day he died? Because he
> washed up on shore. (From Jackie Martling on The Howard Stern Show)
boat?") within a month or so of her death, so Martling simply adapted
(not that well, I think) a joke he'd heard about someone else.
Anyway, my favorite ever:
Q: Did you hear about the new Kurt Cobain beer?
A: It's really bitter, and has no head.
--
_+_ From the catapult of |If anyone objects to any statement I make, I am
_|70|___:)=}- J.D. Baldwin |quite prepared not only to retract it, but also
\ / bal...@panix.com|to deny under oath that I ever made it.-T. Lehrer
***~~~~----------------------------------------------------------------------
wboenig
Aug 13, 2012, 10:01:18 AM8/13/12
to ne...@baldwin.users.panix.com
> Anyway, my favorite ever:
>
>
>
> Q: Did you hear about the new Kurt Cobain beer?
>
> A: It's really bitter, and has no head.
What kind of beer has no head? Budwyer.
(If anyone is lost on that one, just Google "Bud Dwyer")
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