I might as well repeat what I said (from when Dede, his wife, died a year ago):
>
https://news.yahoo.com/dede-robertson-wife-religious-broadcaster-0103027
> 84.html
> In her autobiography, Robertson recalled bridling at staying at home
> and her husband's refusal to help around the house.
>
> "I was a Northerner, and Northern men just generally help around the
> house a little more," she said. "I noticed the further south we moved,
> the less he did."
Honestly.
Would any good parent allow the older child to bribe (or force) the younger
child to do all the housework just because the older child "hates it more" than
the younger? Why should any child get away with doing that? (Hint: we ALL
have unpaid work to do, so we all need to learn to accept it. Even billionaires
have to have regular meetings with their employees.)
Would any teacher tolerate students who were trying to con classmates into
doing their schoolwork? (And why would the classmates tolerate that, after a while?)
Would any employer even WANT to have employees who were always trying
to dump their work on their co-workers?
What's the difference? Why does anyone think a wife should have less leisure
time than a husband?
(It is NOT fanatical to expect a couple or a family to dust and vacuum every room at least
twice a month - failing to do that is how vermin and disease take over a household.
Even without small children, cooking and cleaning can easily take 20 hours a
week. Besides, it takes just one plastic bag or glossy magazine on the floor to result
in a broken leg - and/or a lawsuit.)
Not that some women couldn't be doing better when it comes to "men's work,"
of course. For example, if parents make their sons start paying rent at a certain
age - and Move Out by a certain age - daughters need to do the same and not act
as though they're entitled to be supported in the manner to which they're
accustomed - hint, hint.
It reminds me of the Last Emperor, Pu Yi. Until about age 40 (after WWII) he'd
never tied his own shoes, brushed his own teeth, or turned off a faucet. Prison
changed all that - but for his last 20 years or so, he still struggled with remembering
to do his own chores. From Edward Behr's biography:
"Gaol was like school for him. All his life, until 1945, everyone around him had
convinced him he was special, almost divine. Because of this, his attitude towards
others had never been normal. Only in Fushun did he become aware of people as people."
I know a very well-educated man (born in 1968) who, not many years ago, said that
a man shouldn't have to do his own housework when there's a woman around. (Somehow,
I doubt that he would argue that a woman shouldn't have to earn her own living when
her next-door neighbor is a man.) I told him about Pu Yi's utter incompetence and asked,
in effect, "is that really what you aspire to?" At least he didn't say yes - but I no longer
remember what he DID say. I told him in an email that since he'll likely find himself asking
some friend of his for free co-housing, he should offer to do ALL the housework, at least.
When you can't pay rent, that's only fair. (Right now, he's homeless.)
P.S. When kids are involved, the easiest way to avoid arguments is to exchange chores no
more often than every four months. That way, no one can lie by saying "it's not my turn!"
What's more, everyone KNOWS what is expected of him or her, so it's not as though the
chores are an unexpected burden on any given day.
I'd add that it's a good idea even for adults without children to do chores they hate once
in a while, if only so they won't lose their sense of perspective. (As opposed to doing only
those chores they don't hate.) Besides, you never know when an emergency will strike when
the spouse isn't there to do the job, so it's good to know you have the skills to do it yourself.