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2012 AO Deadpool Moxie Awards
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Hyfler/Rosner
Mar 14, 2013, 12:19:26 AM3/14/13
to
(Bill wrote 90% of what you're about to read.)
Here I am on the Red Carpet, ready to enter the Convention Center where
the 2012 AO Deadpool Moxie Awards ceremony will take place. I am
awaiting the arrival of my co-host this year, Emilia Clarke, who you may
know from "Game of...."
Amelia? But I thought...
You thought what, that Emilia Clarke would show up just because you sent
her an adoring, begging fan letter? You're a pathetic old man.
Me? What about you? Didn't you get the memo about this year's Moxie
dress code? Look at you, that slit in your dress goes all the way up to
your...OH, MY GOD!
Never mind the slit in my dress, have you see Brad yet?
No. Oh wait. Here he comes now. Oh fer chrissakes, did neither one of
you two read the dress code this year? Nice bowtie, Brad. Next year try
using a shirt as an accessory. Fucking man-boobs. Alright, let's just
get inside, I'm sick of all these paparazzi snapping photos of me...
That's not the paparazzi, you asshole. That's the FBI. Now get inside
before they take you away again.
<Cue the AO theme song...whatever the fuck it is...>
Once again, Bill, Brad and I would like to welcome all of you to the
Deadpool awards show -- the 2012 AO Deadpool Awards show. We would like
to apologize in advance if the show goes over into your nightly news
broadcast, but often some of the acceptance speeches get, shall we say,
lengthy.
Before we get to the main event, we would like to point out a few of the
oddities, quirks and funny little things we loved about the 2012 game,
like....
FUN FACT: Of the 126 hits this year, just about half were solos. Which
means that people are learning how to play the fucking game, finally.
FUN FACT: An AO Deadpool Record was set with a 34-way tie for 15th place
the day Etta James died at last.
FUN FACT: ???Guest keep her souls alive the longest this year. Didn't
get her first hit (Robert Bork) until December 19.
DAILY DOUBLE FUN FACT: There were 16 Daily Doubles the day al-Megrahi
and that Gibb brother died. Morris the Cat becomes the first player in
Moxie history to score a daily double with two solos (Ben Gazzara,
Norton Zinder) And she had the other one, too.
Other Things/Hits We Loved
B&T's Characters trio of Leonardo Cimino, Warren Stewart and William Windom.
Chipmunk Roasting's three Canadian solos, Gunther Plaut, Trent Frayne
and Lincoln Alexander (update coming)
Drunkasaskunk's two Scottish solos, David Peat and Edward Short.
EdV's Patches the Clowns, and the update we're still waiting for.
Garrett only had three hits, all solos (Richard Adler, Turhan Bey, and
Hans Werner Henze)
Sad Last Dave depending on the brave last days of the tabloids and
ending up right smack in the middle of the pack.
SOLOS WE LOVED:
DannyB's Charles Colson, RH Draney's Dick Tufeld, Keister Button's
Lucille Bliss, Fireball's Frederica Maas, Kisco's Steve Franken, Mo's
Vidal Sassoon, Monarc's Robert Hegyes, Pat Peeve's LeRoy Nieman, and
Sarndra for somehow knowing that Neil Armstrong had taken his last step
on earth and maybe even the moon.
ONE-HIT WONDERMENT.
???Guest, Bushwhacker, Jim Thornton, Team Bubba and Wendy all had one
hit, and they were each unique. (Bork, Arlen Spector, Patrick Moore,
Phyllis Diller, and Ernest Borgnine.
UPDATES WE LOVED
We loved them all because you took the time to write them and write them
well. But especially,, Gerard Tiernee's Kevin White, Frank Sanders and
Steve Van Buren, Hulka's William Heirens and Encyclopedia Brown, Bill's
Etta James and Joe Paterno, Matt Hubbard's Dick Clark, Brad's Mike
Wallace, EVERYTHING written by Charlene, Wendy and Jim Thornton and of
course Busgal. Oh, JohnnyB wrote a great one. They are all so wonderful,
they are worth a re-read.
So now, on with the MOXIE AWARDS (in no particular order)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
There were a lot of new players this year and some of them were
excellent right out of the gate, but one has to be the best. And we
bestow it on WEP, our only (as far as we know) German in the pool, who
finished in 14th place with 6 hits. He's a very good player, often
writes updates and will win some kind of award next year for having the
most people on his 2013 list replaced by the Rules Committee. He was
very good-natured about it. We must give Dianagram second place votes,
and all the other newbies, Keister Button, TGV, Where's My Damn List,
Reporter Man and Johnsbowers, HAWTHORN, Tom and Jason Smith third place
votes. Great rookie field this year.
TENACITY AWARD
The award that goes to the hits that sat on a list the longest. Like
from the beginning. Kathi (Leila Denmark) JohnnyB (Amos Vogel) and
Amelia who somehow couldn't manage to ice mobster Henry Hill until this
year.
THE AMELIA AWARD
Once known as the I WALK ALONE AWARD, goes to the player who gets the
most hits with the most solos. This year the winner is DDT, who scored
6 solos with his second-place showing. DDT also gets the ALPHABET
AWARD. All four of his S's were dead in the correct order by the end of
March. Last year, his K's did the same thing but took longer. That's
just weird.
THE RIDICULOUSLY OBVIOUS DEATH AWARD
Goes to Abby, Allen Kirshner, Allezblancs, Another Lurker, Bill
Schenley, Buford, Chaptal, Charlene, Chipmunk Roasting, Constant
Irritant, DDT, Dead People Server, Deceased Hose, Denise, DGH,
Dianagram, Direcorbie, Drunkasaskunk, EdV, Eternity Tours, Fireball,
Gerard Tiernee, Grim McGraw, Happy No Year, HAWTHORN, Tom, Hulka, Jason
Smith, Jazz Vulture, JTH, Kathi, Keister Button, King Daevid, Loki,
Mark, Mo, Moldy Oldies, Monarc, Morris the Cat, Ray Arthur, Reporter
Man, Roxanne Wiggs, The Wiz, Tim J, Walking Dead Dude, WEP, Where's my
damn list? and Worm Farmer for picking the ridiculously obvious Etta
Jame who had more people counting on her eight points than any other hit
in the seven years of the AO Deadpool.
THE DIM REAPER AWARD
Has been won by Lurker3791, who even with Etta James puking her life
away on his shoes, couldn't manage to make the connection and put her on
his list. Way to go, Lurker. Even I put a sure thing or two on my list
of British Jewish historians.
THE IF YOU CAN'T PLAY IT, WRITE IT award goes to HAWTHORN, Tom who did
get 4 hits but also wrote the best book on obituaries that's come out in
years Buy it. Read it. Commit it to memory. "Deadlines: Obits of
Memorable British Columbians is not the sexiest title, but this obit
book is fantastic. "AND," as an added bonus, AO gets a shout-out from
the author. If you love obits, no matter where you live, you will love
this book. The obituary of Patrick Dalzel-Job, a retired chemistry
teacher is a good example. A very famous author known for a famous
character, confided in Mr. Dalzel-Job that the character was based on
him. Buy the book here:
http://www.amazon.com/Deadlines-Obits-Memorable-British-Columbians/dp/1550175815
THE BULLDOG AWARD
This goes to Allen Kirshner who argued for the good part of a fucking
year about the eligibility of an extremely minor functionary from
Australian named Barry Blaikie* who never, ever got an obit. He sent us
PDF files of the official proceedings of the Western Australian
Legislative Assembly, responses from the leaders of the Opposition, the
Deputy Leader of the Native Party, the Minister of Transport. He even
wrote the obit himself. He didn't give up. But then, neither did we.
Nice try, Allen and congratulations. And the YOUNGEST HIT OF THE YEAR
WHO WAS *NOT* IN A FUCKING COMA also goes to Allen Kirshner for his
late-in-the-game hit with fellow Canadian Greg Herbert, 37, whose fame
just about reached the Ottawa city limits. Bill Schenley, Gerard
Tiernee and WEP, for picking a 16-year old girl who was IN A FUCKING
COMA. You three douche bags get no award.
*Americans, think the 1962-64 comp-fucking controller from East Fucking
Jesus, Utah.
The always popular LET'S FUCK WITH THE GRAMMYS AWARD again goes to
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark, Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself.
This year's PHILIP AWARD once again goes to Loki, but this time he
shares the golden statuette with Worm Farmer. They both had eleven hits
with no solos. The FUTILITY AWARD goes to Keister Button for reaching
double digits in hits (10) and ending up in 31st place with only 43
points. How fucking exciting.
Now before we move on to the three awards you have all been waiting for,
let's note the rest of the Top Ten. After all, this might be all the
fame any of them ever receive.
#4 Bill Schenley -- 146 points and 10 hits
#5 Allen Kirshner -- 106 points and 10 hits
#6 Drunkasaskunk -- 105 points and 12 hits
#7 Mo - 105 points and 12 hits
#8 Deceased Hose - 102 points and 12 hits
#9 Allezblancs --102 points and 9 hits
#10 Hulka - 98 points and 10 hits
Can I have the envelope for the Bronze Award?
What do you mean we don't have any envelopes?
Where are the fucking envelopes?
YOU WHAT?
You used all the goddamn envelopes to write fan letters to Emilia
Clarke? Why?
I saw her boobs (http:/tinurl.com/atbx55b)
The BRONZE MEDAL AWARD goes to Morris the Cat who won the 2011 AO
Deadpool Gold. Morris had more hits in the 2012 game than she did in
2011, but fewer points than the year before. I guess she didn't like
the Moxie. Who can blame her? Congrats, Morris the Cat. I still feel
bad for shortening your name.
The winner of the SILVER MEDAL AWARD is DDT with 18 hits and 223 points.
DDT was also the SILVER MEDAL AWARD winner in the 2011 game when he
scored 171 points with 16 hits. He REALLY doesn't like Moxie. He
proves it every fucking year.
Before we announce the winner of the 2012 AO Deadpool game, we would
like to thank the incomparable Brad Ferguson for the fabulous job he has
done with our website (http://ao-deadpool.com) We can't thank you
enough, Brad. And a round of applause for Mark, who sent out the Moxie,
a t-shirt and a video of the guy who runs the MOXIE store somewhere up
in Maine congratulating the winner of the GOLD MOXIE.....
And that winner would be....oh, now what? You found a fucking envelope?
Jesus Fucking Christ. The winner wants us to know that he ends his name
with a "y" not an "e."
Okay, okay, we'll be sure to write Gerard Tierney on your Moxie bottle.
From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
out. That's a winner!
What more can we say?
Not a goddamned thing.
Good night, all!
Here I am on the Red Carpet, ready to enter the Convention Center where
the 2012 AO Deadpool Moxie Awards ceremony will take place. I am
awaiting the arrival of my co-host this year, Emilia Clarke, who you may
know from "Game of...."
Amelia? But I thought...
You thought what, that Emilia Clarke would show up just because you sent
her an adoring, begging fan letter? You're a pathetic old man.
Me? What about you? Didn't you get the memo about this year's Moxie
dress code? Look at you, that slit in your dress goes all the way up to
your...OH, MY GOD!
Never mind the slit in my dress, have you see Brad yet?
No. Oh wait. Here he comes now. Oh fer chrissakes, did neither one of
you two read the dress code this year? Nice bowtie, Brad. Next year try
using a shirt as an accessory. Fucking man-boobs. Alright, let's just
get inside, I'm sick of all these paparazzi snapping photos of me...
That's not the paparazzi, you asshole. That's the FBI. Now get inside
before they take you away again.
<Cue the AO theme song...whatever the fuck it is...>
Once again, Bill, Brad and I would like to welcome all of you to the
Deadpool awards show -- the 2012 AO Deadpool Awards show. We would like
to apologize in advance if the show goes over into your nightly news
broadcast, but often some of the acceptance speeches get, shall we say,
lengthy.
Before we get to the main event, we would like to point out a few of the
oddities, quirks and funny little things we loved about the 2012 game,
like....
FUN FACT: Of the 126 hits this year, just about half were solos. Which
means that people are learning how to play the fucking game, finally.
FUN FACT: An AO Deadpool Record was set with a 34-way tie for 15th place
the day Etta James died at last.
FUN FACT: ???Guest keep her souls alive the longest this year. Didn't
get her first hit (Robert Bork) until December 19.
DAILY DOUBLE FUN FACT: There were 16 Daily Doubles the day al-Megrahi
and that Gibb brother died. Morris the Cat becomes the first player in
Moxie history to score a daily double with two solos (Ben Gazzara,
Norton Zinder) And she had the other one, too.
Other Things/Hits We Loved
B&T's Characters trio of Leonardo Cimino, Warren Stewart and William Windom.
Chipmunk Roasting's three Canadian solos, Gunther Plaut, Trent Frayne
and Lincoln Alexander (update coming)
Drunkasaskunk's two Scottish solos, David Peat and Edward Short.
EdV's Patches the Clowns, and the update we're still waiting for.
Garrett only had three hits, all solos (Richard Adler, Turhan Bey, and
Hans Werner Henze)
Sad Last Dave depending on the brave last days of the tabloids and
ending up right smack in the middle of the pack.
SOLOS WE LOVED:
DannyB's Charles Colson, RH Draney's Dick Tufeld, Keister Button's
Lucille Bliss, Fireball's Frederica Maas, Kisco's Steve Franken, Mo's
Vidal Sassoon, Monarc's Robert Hegyes, Pat Peeve's LeRoy Nieman, and
Sarndra for somehow knowing that Neil Armstrong had taken his last step
on earth and maybe even the moon.
ONE-HIT WONDERMENT.
???Guest, Bushwhacker, Jim Thornton, Team Bubba and Wendy all had one
hit, and they were each unique. (Bork, Arlen Spector, Patrick Moore,
Phyllis Diller, and Ernest Borgnine.
UPDATES WE LOVED
We loved them all because you took the time to write them and write them
well. But especially,, Gerard Tiernee's Kevin White, Frank Sanders and
Steve Van Buren, Hulka's William Heirens and Encyclopedia Brown, Bill's
Etta James and Joe Paterno, Matt Hubbard's Dick Clark, Brad's Mike
Wallace, EVERYTHING written by Charlene, Wendy and Jim Thornton and of
course Busgal. Oh, JohnnyB wrote a great one. They are all so wonderful,
they are worth a re-read.
So now, on with the MOXIE AWARDS (in no particular order)
ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
There were a lot of new players this year and some of them were
excellent right out of the gate, but one has to be the best. And we
bestow it on WEP, our only (as far as we know) German in the pool, who
finished in 14th place with 6 hits. He's a very good player, often
writes updates and will win some kind of award next year for having the
most people on his 2013 list replaced by the Rules Committee. He was
very good-natured about it. We must give Dianagram second place votes,
and all the other newbies, Keister Button, TGV, Where's My Damn List,
Reporter Man and Johnsbowers, HAWTHORN, Tom and Jason Smith third place
votes. Great rookie field this year.
TENACITY AWARD
The award that goes to the hits that sat on a list the longest. Like
from the beginning. Kathi (Leila Denmark) JohnnyB (Amos Vogel) and
Amelia who somehow couldn't manage to ice mobster Henry Hill until this
year.
THE AMELIA AWARD
Once known as the I WALK ALONE AWARD, goes to the player who gets the
most hits with the most solos. This year the winner is DDT, who scored
6 solos with his second-place showing. DDT also gets the ALPHABET
AWARD. All four of his S's were dead in the correct order by the end of
March. Last year, his K's did the same thing but took longer. That's
just weird.
THE RIDICULOUSLY OBVIOUS DEATH AWARD
Goes to Abby, Allen Kirshner, Allezblancs, Another Lurker, Bill
Schenley, Buford, Chaptal, Charlene, Chipmunk Roasting, Constant
Irritant, DDT, Dead People Server, Deceased Hose, Denise, DGH,
Dianagram, Direcorbie, Drunkasaskunk, EdV, Eternity Tours, Fireball,
Gerard Tiernee, Grim McGraw, Happy No Year, HAWTHORN, Tom, Hulka, Jason
Smith, Jazz Vulture, JTH, Kathi, Keister Button, King Daevid, Loki,
Mark, Mo, Moldy Oldies, Monarc, Morris the Cat, Ray Arthur, Reporter
Man, Roxanne Wiggs, The Wiz, Tim J, Walking Dead Dude, WEP, Where's my
damn list? and Worm Farmer for picking the ridiculously obvious Etta
Jame who had more people counting on her eight points than any other hit
in the seven years of the AO Deadpool.
THE DIM REAPER AWARD
Has been won by Lurker3791, who even with Etta James puking her life
away on his shoes, couldn't manage to make the connection and put her on
his list. Way to go, Lurker. Even I put a sure thing or two on my list
of British Jewish historians.
THE IF YOU CAN'T PLAY IT, WRITE IT award goes to HAWTHORN, Tom who did
get 4 hits but also wrote the best book on obituaries that's come out in
years Buy it. Read it. Commit it to memory. "Deadlines: Obits of
Memorable British Columbians is not the sexiest title, but this obit
book is fantastic. "AND," as an added bonus, AO gets a shout-out from
the author. If you love obits, no matter where you live, you will love
this book. The obituary of Patrick Dalzel-Job, a retired chemistry
teacher is a good example. A very famous author known for a famous
character, confided in Mr. Dalzel-Job that the character was based on
him. Buy the book here:
http://www.amazon.com/Deadlines-Obits-Memorable-British-Columbians/dp/1550175815
THE BULLDOG AWARD
This goes to Allen Kirshner who argued for the good part of a fucking
year about the eligibility of an extremely minor functionary from
Australian named Barry Blaikie* who never, ever got an obit. He sent us
PDF files of the official proceedings of the Western Australian
Legislative Assembly, responses from the leaders of the Opposition, the
Deputy Leader of the Native Party, the Minister of Transport. He even
wrote the obit himself. He didn't give up. But then, neither did we.
Nice try, Allen and congratulations. And the YOUNGEST HIT OF THE YEAR
WHO WAS *NOT* IN A FUCKING COMA also goes to Allen Kirshner for his
late-in-the-game hit with fellow Canadian Greg Herbert, 37, whose fame
just about reached the Ottawa city limits. Bill Schenley, Gerard
Tiernee and WEP, for picking a 16-year old girl who was IN A FUCKING
COMA. You three douche bags get no award.
*Americans, think the 1962-64 comp-fucking controller from East Fucking
Jesus, Utah.
The always popular LET'S FUCK WITH THE GRAMMYS AWARD again goes to
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark, Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself.
This year's PHILIP AWARD once again goes to Loki, but this time he
shares the golden statuette with Worm Farmer. They both had eleven hits
with no solos. The FUTILITY AWARD goes to Keister Button for reaching
double digits in hits (10) and ending up in 31st place with only 43
points. How fucking exciting.
Now before we move on to the three awards you have all been waiting for,
let's note the rest of the Top Ten. After all, this might be all the
fame any of them ever receive.
#4 Bill Schenley -- 146 points and 10 hits
#5 Allen Kirshner -- 106 points and 10 hits
#6 Drunkasaskunk -- 105 points and 12 hits
#7 Mo - 105 points and 12 hits
#8 Deceased Hose - 102 points and 12 hits
#9 Allezblancs --102 points and 9 hits
#10 Hulka - 98 points and 10 hits
Can I have the envelope for the Bronze Award?
What do you mean we don't have any envelopes?
Where are the fucking envelopes?
YOU WHAT?
You used all the goddamn envelopes to write fan letters to Emilia
Clarke? Why?
I saw her boobs (http:/tinurl.com/atbx55b)
The BRONZE MEDAL AWARD goes to Morris the Cat who won the 2011 AO
Deadpool Gold. Morris had more hits in the 2012 game than she did in
2011, but fewer points than the year before. I guess she didn't like
the Moxie. Who can blame her? Congrats, Morris the Cat. I still feel
bad for shortening your name.
The winner of the SILVER MEDAL AWARD is DDT with 18 hits and 223 points.
DDT was also the SILVER MEDAL AWARD winner in the 2011 game when he
scored 171 points with 16 hits. He REALLY doesn't like Moxie. He
proves it every fucking year.
Before we announce the winner of the 2012 AO Deadpool game, we would
like to thank the incomparable Brad Ferguson for the fabulous job he has
done with our website (http://ao-deadpool.com) We can't thank you
enough, Brad. And a round of applause for Mark, who sent out the Moxie,
a t-shirt and a video of the guy who runs the MOXIE store somewhere up
in Maine congratulating the winner of the GOLD MOXIE.....
And that winner would be....oh, now what? You found a fucking envelope?
Jesus Fucking Christ. The winner wants us to know that he ends his name
with a "y" not an "e."
Okay, okay, we'll be sure to write Gerard Tierney on your Moxie bottle.
From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
out. That's a winner!
What more can we say?
Not a goddamned thing.
Good night, all!
Message has been deleted
Bill Schenley
Mar 14, 2013, 1:44:05 AM3/14/13
to
On Mar 14, 1:18 am, "News" <m...@sb.net> wrote:
> x-no-archive: yes
>
> "Hyfler/Rosner" <rel...@rcn.com> wrote in message
>
> news:khrj4e$8lk$1...@reader2.panix.com...
> F-bombs he routinely shouts, showing he has little of any real substance to
> say and is a waste of time writing, as well as reading it.
If it's any consolation, little retarded guy, ...
"The always popular LET'S FUCK WITH THE GRAMMYS AWARD again goes to
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark,
Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among
her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself."
... Doc Watson was a huge supporter of the Second Amendment and was
himself a crack shot.
> x-no-archive: yes
>
> "Hyfler/Rosner" <rel...@rcn.com> wrote in message
>
> news:khrj4e$8lk$1...@reader2.panix.com...
>
> > (Bill wrote 90% of what you're about to read.)
>
> So let *him* post it instead of you being his mouthpiece with all the
> > (Bill wrote 90% of what you're about to read.)
>
> F-bombs he routinely shouts, showing he has little of any real substance to
> say and is a waste of time writing, as well as reading it.
If it's any consolation, little retarded guy, ...
"The always popular LET'S FUCK WITH THE GRAMMYS AWARD again goes to
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark,
Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among
her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself."
himself a crack shot.
BobF
Mar 14, 2013, 1:48:58 AM3/14/13
to
On Thu, 14 Mar 2013 00:18:46 -0500, "News" <m...@sb.net> shouted from the
highest rooftop:
>> (Bill wrote 90% of what you're about to read.)
>
>
> So let *him* post it instead of you being his mouthpiece with all the
>F-bombs he routinely shouts, showing he has little of any real substance to
>say and is a waste of time writing, as well as reading it.
The only one left out is the "Non-Stop Diarrhea of the Keyboard
>F-bombs he routinely shouts, showing he has little of any real substance to
>say and is a waste of time writing, as well as reading it.
Award."
* * * * * * *
Some of the more common characteristics of Royburger's Syndrome include:
* Inability to think in abstract ways (eg: puns, jokes, sarcasm, etc)
* Difficulties in empathising with others
* Problems with understanding another person's point of view
* Hampered conversational ability
* Problems with controlling feelings such as anger, depression
and anxiety
* Inability to manage appropriate social conduct
* Delayed understanding of sexual codes of conduct
* A narrow field of interests.
* Anger and aggression when things do not happen as they want
* Sensitivity to criticism
* Eccentricity
* Behaviour varies from mildly unusual to quite aggressive
and difficult
Scott Brady
Mar 14, 2013, 2:36:51 AM3/14/13
to rel...@rcn.com
On Wednesday, March 13, 2013 11:19:26 PM UTC-5, Hyfler/Rosner wrote:
> From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
> Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
> As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
> until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
> first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
> 18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
> wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
> something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
> That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
> this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
> out.
When I read that, I almost spit out my Moxie.
> From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
> Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
> As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
> until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
> first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
> 18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
> wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
> something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
> That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
> this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
> out.
What I actually said was, "I wouldn't have spit it out if it tasted like rancid coffee."
Lest there be any confusion ... and this may be a precedent ... but I like the Moxie.
In other words, see you next year.
P.S. What's the record for going the longest without a hit and still winning, and why isn't there an award for it?
Oh, wait. I guess there is.
busgal
Mar 14, 2013, 9:46:00 AM3/14/13
to rel...@rcn.com
The always popular LET'S FUCK WITH THE GRAMMYS AWARD again goes to
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark, Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself.
Look again Bill I did not have Etta James
Busgal, who had Johnny Otis, Etta James, Earl Scruggs, Dick Clark, Robin
Gibb, Doc Watson, Andy Griffith, Tony Martin and Andy Williams among her
12 hits. I swear, Janice must have been skipping the light fandango
with the Grim Reaper himself.
Scott Brady
Mar 14, 2013, 2:28:20 PM3/14/13
to rel...@rcn.com
On Wednesday, March 13, 2013 11:19:26 PM UTC-5, Hyfler/Rosner wrote:
> FUN FACT: Of the 126 hits this year, just about half were solos. Which
> means that people are learning how to play the fucking game, finally.
I'm interested in the breakdown of hits by age categories/point values.
> means that people are learning how to play the fucking game, finally.
So I broke down the hits by age categories/point values.
From most to least frequent:
1. 90-99 (2 points): 44 (34.92%)
2. 80-89 (5 points): 40 (31.75%)
3. 70-79 (8 points): 17 (13.49%)
4. 60-69 (11 points): 11 (8.73%)
5 (tie). 40-49 (18 points): 4 (3.17%)
50-59 (14 points): 4 (3.17%)
7. 100 and older (1 point): 4 (3.17%)
8 (tie). 00-19 (25 points): 1 (0.79%)
30-39 (20 points): 1 (0.79%)
10. 20-29 (22 points): 0 (0.00%)
By contrast, most of Gerard Tierney's hits were in the 11-point (33.33%) and 8-point (27.78%) categories.
MWB
Mar 14, 2013, 4:58:04 PM3/14/13
to
I wish the group could see the upgrade in your wardrobe.
How many cans have you got left???? 11?????
GO SCOTT
Mark
Scott Brady
Mar 14, 2013, 5:08:33 PM3/14/13
to
On Thursday, March 14, 2013 3:58:04 PM UTC-5, MWB wrote:
> How many cans have you got left???? 11?????
Exactly.
> How many cans have you got left???? 11?????
But 10 are empty.
MWB
Mar 14, 2013, 5:50:52 PM3/14/13
to
I sent Scott...the alt.obituary 2012 CHAMPION the orange MOXIE t-shirt
and a 12 pack. I sent him two videos I took of Frank THE MOXIE MAN
Anicetti. One from last year with the instructions on how to drink
MOXIE...and it's wicked cool. This year I gave Frank, a short letter to
read to congratulate Scott. I burned them on a DVD and threw it in the box.
Last year MORRIS THE CAT didn't want the prize and we talked...now
there's two alt.obituary CHAMPIONS walking around in BLAZE orange MOXIE
t-shirts. I could get them the black or white t-shirts so they'll blend
into a crowd...that aint gonna happen.
For the last few years, I have been thanked for the MOXIE. I believe
they thank me before they taste it.
Think about it....would you thank someone that sent you a 12 pack of
soda that tastes like Tar Sands Crude Oil????
I enjoy doing it and I like talking to someone like me....a MAINEIAC. I
took my dog LUCY into MOXIE Headquarters and she loved Frank.
The MOXIE Museum isn't what I'd call....how can I say this??? The first
time I saw it, it took my breath away. Have I evah mentioned MAINE is a
welfare state here??? It is a piece of MAINE.
If you go to MOXIE Headquarters and you're on crutches...good luck. If
you are in a wheel chair...bring some wheel chocks.
I have tried to send alcohol through the mail and I got caught when they
asked me...this sounds like liquid??? What's in the box and I told
them....I didn't know you couldn't send a bottle of bourbon to an
ASSHOLE. Honest I didn't.
The person that caught me was in the South Windham, MAINE post office
and I know him very well. I have been sending a box to a war zone every
two weeks for far too long. He mentioned...this box isn't going to an
APO and it's liquid. I told him it's MOXIE, a t-shirt and a DVD.
I told him we have a contest about people going tits up and the person
that picks the most people wins the grand prize....MOXIE
Then I get what I call...the wicked odd look.
GO ALT.OBITUARIES
Mark
and a 12 pack. I sent him two videos I took of Frank THE MOXIE MAN
Anicetti. One from last year with the instructions on how to drink
MOXIE...and it's wicked cool. This year I gave Frank, a short letter to
read to congratulate Scott. I burned them on a DVD and threw it in the box.
Last year MORRIS THE CAT didn't want the prize and we talked...now
there's two alt.obituary CHAMPIONS walking around in BLAZE orange MOXIE
t-shirts. I could get them the black or white t-shirts so they'll blend
into a crowd...that aint gonna happen.
For the last few years, I have been thanked for the MOXIE. I believe
they thank me before they taste it.
Think about it....would you thank someone that sent you a 12 pack of
soda that tastes like Tar Sands Crude Oil????
I enjoy doing it and I like talking to someone like me....a MAINEIAC. I
took my dog LUCY into MOXIE Headquarters and she loved Frank.
The MOXIE Museum isn't what I'd call....how can I say this??? The first
time I saw it, it took my breath away. Have I evah mentioned MAINE is a
welfare state here??? It is a piece of MAINE.
If you go to MOXIE Headquarters and you're on crutches...good luck. If
you are in a wheel chair...bring some wheel chocks.
I have tried to send alcohol through the mail and I got caught when they
asked me...this sounds like liquid??? What's in the box and I told
them....I didn't know you couldn't send a bottle of bourbon to an
ASSHOLE. Honest I didn't.
The person that caught me was in the South Windham, MAINE post office
and I know him very well. I have been sending a box to a war zone every
two weeks for far too long. He mentioned...this box isn't going to an
APO and it's liquid. I told him it's MOXIE, a t-shirt and a DVD.
I told him we have a contest about people going tits up and the person
that picks the most people wins the grand prize....MOXIE
Then I get what I call...the wicked odd look.
GO ALT.OBITUARIES
Mark
MWB
Mar 14, 2013, 5:54:44 PM3/14/13
to
How are you feeling???
Do me a favor....do you have a bottle and can deposit???
I know where you live and your state aint stamped on a can in MAINE.
Take them back and see what they say.
GO SCOTT
Mark
R H Draney
Mar 14, 2013, 6:06:46 PM3/14/13
to
MWB filted:
Cans?!...
Would it be possible to put in an advance directive that, in the extremely
unlikely eventuality of my winning, I get my Moxie in bottles?...if shipping is
an issue, I'd even accept a voucher toward the purchase at BevMo, since I know I
can buy it there....
For all its reputation as awful-tasting, I can't believe anyone would make
matters worse by putting it in cans....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
>
>Congratulations 2012 alt.obituaries dead pool CHAMPION.
>
>I wish the group could see the upgrade in your wardrobe.
>
>How many cans have you got left???? 11?????
Wait....
>Congratulations 2012 alt.obituaries dead pool CHAMPION.
>
>I wish the group could see the upgrade in your wardrobe.
>
>How many cans have you got left???? 11?????
Cans?!...
Would it be possible to put in an advance directive that, in the extremely
unlikely eventuality of my winning, I get my Moxie in bottles?...if shipping is
an issue, I'd even accept a voucher toward the purchase at BevMo, since I know I
can buy it there....
For all its reputation as awful-tasting, I can't believe anyone would make
matters worse by putting it in cans....r
--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.
Scott Brady
Mar 14, 2013, 6:45:06 PM3/14/13
to rel...@rcn.com
On Thursday, March 14, 2013 1:28:20 PM UTC-5, Scott Brady wrote:
> I'm interested in the breakdown of hits by age categories/point values.
> So I broke down the hits by age categories/point values.
> From most to least frequent:
> 1. 90-99 (2 points): 44 (34.92%)
> 2. 80-89 (5 points): 40 (31.75%)
> 3. 70-79 (8 points): 17 (13.49%)
> 4. 60-69 (11 points): 11 (8.73%)
> 5 (tie). 40-49 (18 points): 4 (3.17%)
> 50-59 (14 points): 4 (3.17%)
> 7. 100 and older (1 point): 4 (3.17%)
> 8 (tie). 00-19 (25 points): 1 (0.79%)
> 30-39 (20 points): 1 (0.79%)
> 10. 20-29 (22 points): 0 (0.00%)
The most popular hits tended to be a little more valuable, with 5-pointers the most common, but none worth more than 14 in the top 11:
> I'm interested in the breakdown of hits by age categories/point values.
> So I broke down the hits by age categories/point values.
> From most to least frequent:
> 1. 90-99 (2 points): 44 (34.92%)
> 2. 80-89 (5 points): 40 (31.75%)
> 3. 70-79 (8 points): 17 (13.49%)
> 4. 60-69 (11 points): 11 (8.73%)
> 5 (tie). 40-49 (18 points): 4 (3.17%)
> 50-59 (14 points): 4 (3.17%)
> 7. 100 and older (1 point): 4 (3.17%)
> 8 (tie). 00-19 (25 points): 1 (0.79%)
> 30-39 (20 points): 1 (0.79%)
> 10. 20-29 (22 points): 0 (0.00%)
MOST POPULAR HITS
(Name, Age/Point Value: Hit Total)
1. Etta James, 73/8: 47
2. Robin Gibb, 62/11: 31
3. Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, 60/11: 20
4 (tie). Gary Carter, 57/14: 15
Dick Clark, 82/5: 15
Andy Williams, 84/5: 15
7 (tie). Joe Paterno, 85/5: 14
Phyllis Diller, 95/2: 14
9. Larry Hagman, 81/5: 11
10 (tie). Bill Janklow, 72/8: 10
Frank Cady, 96/2: 10
TOP 11 HITS BY AGE CATEGORY/POINT VALUE
1. 80-89 (5 points): 4 (36.36%)
2 (tie). 60-69 (11 points): 2 (18.18%)
70-79 (8 points): 2 (18.18%)
90-99 (2 points): 2 (18.18%)
5. 50-59 (14 points): 1 (9.09%)
Scott Brady
Mar 14, 2013, 6:56:07 PM3/14/13
to
On Thursday, March 14, 2013 4:54:44 PM UTC-5, MWB wrote:
> How are you feeling???
Never better.
> Do me a favor....do you have a bottle and can deposit???
No, but I can cash them in for about $5 a carload.
If you bring in enough cans, they can just weigh your car before and after you unload.
Next time I go in, I'll look for MOXIE cans.
One day I'll have try MOXIE from a bottle to see if it's any different.
> How are you feeling???
Never better.
> Do me a favor....do you have a bottle and can deposit???
If you bring in enough cans, they can just weigh your car before and after you unload.
Next time I go in, I'll look for MOXIE cans.
One day I'll have try MOXIE from a bottle to see if it's any different.
Corby Gilmore
Mar 14, 2013, 8:36:16 PM3/14/13
to
Hyfler/Rosner (rel...@rcn.com) writes:
>
> Okay, okay, we'll be sure to write Gerard Tierney on your Moxie bottle.
> From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
> Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
> As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
> until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
> first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
> 18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
> wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
> something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
> That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
> this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
> out. That's a winner!
I knew I'd get my name mentioned somehow!!! lol!!
>
> Okay, okay, we'll be sure to write Gerard Tierney on your Moxie bottle.
> From 5th place to first in just his second year of playing, Gerard
> Tierney has proven that he's the one to beat from hereon in.
> As Corby pointed out, it took only 64 days from the start of the year
> until March for GT to register his 10th hit. But he didn't get his
> first hit until January 21, which means he recorded 10 hits in 43 days.
> 18 hits, 251 points, 5 solos, 3 duets, 5 trios. That's a champ. And he
> wrote updates, and they were beautiful. But the best part? He did
> something not many people do. HE THANKED MARK FOR SENDING THE MOXIE.
> That's two in a row for the thank-you notes. And according to Mark,
> this is after he said it tasted like rancid coffee, but didn't spit it
> out. That's a winner!
MWB
Mar 15, 2013, 11:51:38 AM3/15/13
to
GO ALT.OBITUARIES
Mark
amelia rosner
Mar 15, 2013, 12:24:35 PM3/15/13
to
ceremony. I usually try to fit everyone in, but I'm not perfect.
R H Draney
Mar 15, 2013, 5:24:51 PM3/15/13
to
MWB filted:
PLASTIC?!!!
I have fallen among the godless....r
I have fallen among the godless....r
Aje RavenStar
Mar 15, 2013, 7:35:36 PM3/15/13
to
Kris Baker
Mar 17, 2013, 11:36:06 PM3/17/13
to
"Aje RavenStar" <whine...@cropcirclemedia.net> wrote in message
news:ki0b53$dn9$1...@dont-email.me...
Kris
allenk...@hotmail.com
Apr 7, 2013, 11:23:06 PM4/7/13
to
>
> THE BULLDOG AWARD
>
> This goes to Allen Kirshner who argued for the good part of a fucking
> year about the eligibility of an extremely minor functionary from
> Australian named Barry Blaikie* who never, ever got an obit. He sent us
> PDF files of the official proceedings of the Western Australian
> Legislative Assembly, responses from the leaders of the Opposition, the
> Deputy Leader of the Native Party, the Minister of Transport. He even
> wrote the obit himself. He didn't give up. But then, neither did we.
> Nice try, Allen and congratulations.
-- Thank you. If I can't be famous, perhaps infamy suits me better?
> THE BULLDOG AWARD
>
> This goes to Allen Kirshner who argued for the good part of a fucking
> year about the eligibility of an extremely minor functionary from
> Australian named Barry Blaikie* who never, ever got an obit. He sent us
> PDF files of the official proceedings of the Western Australian
> Legislative Assembly, responses from the leaders of the Opposition, the
> Deputy Leader of the Native Party, the Minister of Transport. He even
> wrote the obit himself. He didn't give up. But then, neither did we.
> Nice try, Allen and congratulations.
And, yes, this comment comes nearly a month after the awards ceremony,
no doubt a confirmation on its accuracy.
--
Allen Kirshner
(You know you're getting older when the songs you used to rock out to
you now fold laundry to)
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