Septic Tanks
Rick Mather
tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
shortened to "seppo". A septic tank is a sewage/sullage tank used on remote
properties to contain and decompose human excrement. Septic tank is a
fitting description for Americans. Septic tanks are often "fed" with dead
dogs, cats, 'roos and possums. The feeding helps the septic tank to dispose
of more excrement by increasing the anaerobic bacteria levels inside it -
this is something we all should be encouraged to do to all septic tanks.
That the seppos post so much in in alt.nuke.the.USA, it follows that it is
reasonable to assume that what is posted is representative of their nation.
Following on from that, it is quite obvious that all the nasty things ever
said about seppos are indeed quite true.
Seppos are utterly incapable of understanding any humour that cannot be
considered "witty repartee". There are many examples of witty repartee to be
found in seppo sitcoms such as Seinfeld and Sabina the teenage witch. Now,
you might think that the laughter you hear on those shows is canned but it
isn't. The laughter really is a bunch of seppos having their funny bones
tickled by witty, though utterly inane, repartee. The lack of appreciation
of real humour in seppos is an extension of their woeful reading and
comprehension skills.
The difficulty seppos have with reading and comprehension is quite evident
in antU:
> >This is mainly because to get a joke well into the American mind requires
> >a surgical operation. Additionally, microsurgery has not developed to the
> >stage where it is practical to lobotomise the required 274,000,000 garden
> >slugs needed to provide the forebrain sorely lacking in Americans.
>
> Garden slugs are at least alive.
Which is far more than can be said for American humour, which is like a
chicken with its head cut off. It runs around in a lively manner but it is
quite dead.
The funniest outcome of the seppo inability to read and comprehend is seen
when flames and jokes just go right over their heads. Take this as an
example: the seppo was asked to state where he was "incestered" from.
Totally oblivious to what had been asked of him, he went ahead and answered
it;
> >If I admit to being ancestered from the English, will you tell us where
> >_you_ were incestered from?
> I was ancestered from every Englishmans daddy..The Irish, a very fine
> and noble close relative of The American...
In the same post, he stated;
>> At least we were smart to get out of Vietnam. You wankers just
>> hang around and keep on getting spanked.
Here, he is a) attempting to divert the subject to Vietnam and b) quite
openly transferring or projecting his loss onto others. The sad part about
this is that with the subject turning to Vietnam and its being done to death
in antU, the seppos are in a no win situation and yet they are oblivious to
that point. Even if you accept that the seppos were smart enough to get out
of Vietnam, it is evident they weren't smart enough not to get into it in
the first place. It is quite easy to point out to a seppo that, as every
owner of a mongrel, recalcitrant cur knows, you only have to kick it a few
times in the nuts to stop it digging in the flower garden. Of course, the
concept invariably goes over the seppo's head and it does not make its way
into whatever it is he is pleased to call his mind.
Again, still on the Vietnam diversion, the seppo cannot win because any
half-smart non-American can quite easily force the seppo to retreat right
back through the American Civil War and into the War of Independence. This
seppo self-defence mechanism is no better at defending the seppo than is a
leach's ability at curling up to avoid the hot end of a cigarette. Whilst
the seppo retreats through various wars and wraps himself in the glory of
the "Stars and Stripes" and "The Star Spangled Banner", he is totally devoid
of any awareness that the rest of the world is howling in laughter at his
inability to see the ludicrous (and very, very funny) side of his
(re?)action.
So, the question arises as to why the seppo does this at all. Because the
mind of the seppo is so simplistic, it is quite an easy matter to explain
this very strange but humourous behaviour. It all comes down to "magic."
Psychological magic. The seppos ability to wrap himself in his nation's flag
(and as evidenced more recently, in the spread of the McDonald's disease)is
simple magic wrought through fantasies of greatness. These greatness
fantasies, and we all know that seppo greatness really is a fantasy though
the seppo doesn't know it, are mechanisms the seppo uses to protect himself
from having to face the truth of his and his nation's weakness.
Using the poster above as an example, by virtue of his residency in antU he
is obliged to defend what he perceives as his nation's greatness. This
defence is achieved through flaming all things non-American and posting
boasts of American greatness. We have already seen that war and McDonald's
are the seppo's tactical fallback positions. Now, having been put in a
position where he must defend the seppo way, and being aware of his
incredible economy of flaming ability, and of subsequent effect, he is faced
with a situation that makes him uncomfortable to the point of nausea. This
is where the "magic" comes in.
By being forced to post once, he has no option but to continue doing so. He
has committed himself. The amazing level of discomfort he has foisted onto
himself as he lurches from one inane post to another can only be survived by
his imagining himself wrapped in greatness. His half bovine and half
sheep-like face stares into his monitor as his fingers tap out loquacious
gems such as "Garden slugs are at least alive." Here he makes believe that
he is possessed of an incredible wit whereby he conquers all and sundry with
his flaming masterpieces.
Yet another magic mechanism the seppo uses is to pretend that nothing
outside of America exists. That is, "there is no there there." This type of
knee-jerk protection mechanism is evident in the following post;
>> It can certainly be argued that America is a world-class nation,
>> dominating almost every aspect of human endeavor on the planet, within
>> the constraint that to Americans, there are no other countries on earth.
> Compared to us, there aren't any. We just call you that (instead of the
> more accurate terms "state" or "territory" or "protectorate") out of
> politeness.
Here, the seppo is saying that there are no other countries in the world
whilst most of Europe and various other countries involved in antU are
hardly able to contain their laughter. Of course, the seppo has no clue as
to why everyone is laughing.
I can hear the seppos howling right now but they howl with
unbelievably blank minds. They are utterly insensible to the fact that these
greatness fantasy mechanisms seep out of their bone heads and into their
real lives. At this point, the other contributors to antU home in and demand
proof of the seppos assertions. Astonishingly, the seppo goes full circle
and again begins to wrap himself in yet another greatness fantasy. This
happens so often that it is sadly predictable. Consider this seppo post;
> > > > > We Yanks invented afterall, artifical neural networks.
> > > >
> > > > You seppos, after all, _are_ artifical neural networks. Emphasis on
> > > > artifical.
> >
> > > artificial intelligence
> > > over natural stupidity any day.
> >
> > I do strongly urge you look at where I suggested the emphasis should be.
>
> The word you misspelled you mean?
Notice how the original poster used the word "artifical" but was totally
devoid of any knowledge, even when it was posted back at him, that the
mistake was, in fact, his own.
The same poster, in the same message, attempted this little gem;
> > then take your foot out of your mouth.
>
> If that's what you eat,
Normally one would ask a reasonable person to read it again and then state
where it refers to anyone's foot or mouth other than those of the person who
was the subject of the comment, however the seppo's inability to comprehend
even simple sentences make that an effort in vain. Of course, as decent
human beings, we can assist the seppos to climb the evolutionary ladder,
much as is being attempted with monkeys, by posting in HTML and using a
Dingbats or Wingdings font so they can look at the pictures.
Following on from that, again in the same post, the seppo made this
statement;
> it's no wonder McDonald's is so popular
> worldwide.
You see the tragic circles the seppos have doomed themselves to? Even more
wretched than this, the seppos are anaesthetised to any thought that their
constant repetition of America's supposed greatness, and reliance on Ronald
McDonald as the very epitome of that said greatness, merely indicates the
narrowness of their frames of reference. The really heartrending sadness is
that all of the magic and circular psychological defence mechanisms used
by seppos can be seen from one post to the next, without fail.
No doubt exists that the seppos will attempt to debunk and/or rationalise
the facts known about them and that they will embellish their howls of
discomfort with pleadings of unfairness. But the fact remains that they have
plenty of time to learn to feel mortified and humiliated as they wade
through their own posts in antU.
--
Anything you write will be forged, taken out of context, misquoted and used
in evidence against you.
Xx Sdrawkcab daeR xX
>Australians have a knack for rhyming >slang. They use the words "septic
>tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer >to Americans. The term is often
>shortened to "seppo"
< yawn> Old news....Yank yank septic tank.
Do you have even * one * original thought?
-----------------------
SableSW®
'97 GT AOD
In article <19991019165608...@ng-fi1.aol.com>, Rich Brown
indy...@aol.com, Barracks Moderator and Christian writes:
>Wow, impressive: Ugly and stupid in one package.
>--Rich Brown
wanderer
In article <7voabh$2fn$1...@the-fly.zip.com.au>, "Rick Mather"
<rma...@zip.com.au> wrote:
> Australians have a knack for rhyming slang. They use the words "septic
> tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
> shortened to "seppo".
>
<<drivvle mercifully snipped>>
And you're just figuring this out? Where have you been?
Leave it to Rick to get all excited over an old joke.
Your newbyness does not become you.
Rick Mather
news:28pU3.41633$Ow5....@dfw-read.news.verio.net...
> ----------
> In article <7voabh$2fn$1...@the-fly.zip.com.au>, "Rick Mather"
> <rma...@zip.com.au> wrote:
>
>
> > tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
> > shortened to "seppo".
> >
>
>
> And you're just figuring this out? Where have you been?
> Leave it to Rick to get all excited over an old joke.
> Your newbyness does not become you.
You make at least two invalid assumptions. The first one being that the
comment was for your benefit. The second invalid assumption is that I am a
newbie. How long have you been posting to newsgroups?
« £ìmßµrgær »
news:7voabh$2fn$1...@the-fly.zip.com.au...
> Australians have a knack for rhyming slang. They use the words "septic
> tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
> shortened to "seppo". A septic tank is a sewage/sullage tank used on
remote
> properties to contain and decompose human excrement. Septic tank is a
> fitting description for Americans.
As a native American (not meant in the PC vernacular) I'm tempted to
apologize for transgressions committed as a result of our wealth and/or
power on this tiny globe.
Although I resist that temptation - as it would probably be useless in your
case and would probably be taken as some sign of weakness - I still submit
to the desire to respond to this type of stereotypical rhetoric in regards
to one's nationality.
How is it that a substantial number of people must be so emotionally
regional? Or, for that matter, ethnic? This kind of post reminds me of the
talentless graffiti I see on the walls of impoverished neighborhoods, which
reminds me of the dogs I see pissing on anything vertically disposed, which
reminds me that people are just territorial animals with bigger dicks to
piss with. I'm glad to have been born so well hung. And I am truly sorry if
you feel inadequate. Honest.
« £ìmßµrgær »
Rick Mather
news:802oa5$lbm$1...@oak.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
> > tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
> > shortened to "seppo". A septic tank is a sewage/sullage tank used on
> remote
> > properties to contain and decompose human excrement. Septic tank is a
> > fitting description for Americans.
>
> As a native American (not meant in the PC vernacular) I'm tempted to
> apologize for transgressions committed as a result of our wealth and/or
> power on this tiny globe.
> Although I resist that temptation - as it would probably be useless in
your
> case and would probably be taken as some sign of weakness - I still submit
> to the desire to respond to this type of stereotypical rhetoric in regards
> to one's nationality.
> How is it that a substantial number of people must be so emotionally
> regional? Or, for that matter, ethnic? This kind of post reminds me of the
> talentless graffiti I see on the walls of impoverished neighborhoods,
which
> reminds me of the dogs I see pissing on anything vertically disposed,
which
> reminds me that people are just territorial animals with bigger dicks to
> piss with. I'm glad to have been born so well hung. And I am truly sorry
if
> you feel inadequate. Honest.
ROFL! I have laughed so much that my sides hurt. One day I might even read
what you posted.
bjowulf.1
>
> « £ìmßµrgær » <limb...@usaNOSPAM.net> wrote in message
> news:802oa5$lbm$1...@oak.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
> > Rick Mather <rma...@zip.com.au> wrote in message
> > news:7voabh$2fn$1...@the-fly.zip.com.au...
> > > tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is often
> > > shortened to "seppo". A septic tank is a sewage/sullage tank used on
> > remote
> > > properties to contain and decompose human excrement. Septic tank is a
> > > fitting description for Americans.
> >
> > As a native American (not meant in the PC vernacular) I'm tempted to
> > apologize for transgressions committed as a result of our wealth and/or
> > power on this tiny globe.
> > Although I resist that temptation - as it would probably be useless in
> your
> > case and would probably be taken as some sign of weakness - I still submit
> > to the desire to respond to this type of stereotypical rhetoric in regards
> > to one's nationality.
> > How is it that a substantial number of people must be so emotionally
> > regional? Or, for that matter, ethnic? This kind of post reminds me of the
> > talentless graffiti I see on the walls of impoverished neighborhoods,
> which
> > reminds me of the dogs I see pissing on anything vertically disposed,
> which
> > reminds me that people are just territorial animals with bigger dicks to
> > piss with. I'm glad to have been born so well hung. And I am truly sorry
> if
> > you feel inadequate. Honest.
>
> ROFL! I have laughed so much that my sides hurt. One day I might even read
> what you posted.
>
> Anything you write will be forged, taken out of context, misquoted and used
> in evidence against you.
You know, I read this in rec.arts.prose and I really wonder why it's in
here. I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of Americans, but the kind
of diatribe you posted here is not only way out of line but not
particularly germane to the group's content. You see that kind of stuff
from extremists, KKK and such. You are entitled to your opinion, but I
wish you wouldn't post it where it's not relevant. I could flame back at
you, your post did make me angry, but what good would that do. I hope
sometime you realize that not all of us are characterized by those you
encountered in your newsgroups.
Personally, I have always thought the Aussies are an admirable group of
people.
Rick Mather
news:382529E7...@gateway.net...
> Rick Mather wrote:
<fx: Sound of fishing line whizzing off reel>
> > ROFL! I have laughed so much that my sides hurt. One day I might even
read
> > what you posted.
<fx: Sound of reel winding line in>
> You know, I read this in rec.arts.prose and I really wonder why it's in
> here. I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of Americans, but the kind
> of diatribe you posted here is not only way out of line but not
> particularly germane to the group's content. You see that kind of stuff
> from extremists, KKK and such. You are entitled to your opinion, but I
> wish you wouldn't post it where it's not relevant. I could flame back at
> you, your post did make me angry, but what good would that do. I hope
> sometime you realize that not all of us are characterized by those you
> encountered in your newsgroups.
> Personally, I have always thought the Aussies are an admirable group of
> people.
<fx: Sound of fish flapping about in bottom of boat>
<fx: Sound of can of Fosters being cracked open>
<fx: Sound of salutary Aussie burp>
<fx: Sound of obligatory Aussie fart>
Paul Martin
<fx: Sound of sheep bleating as it gets a celebratory Aussie shag>
--
"A discussion is an exchange of knowledge, as opposed to an argument which is
an exchange of ignorance."
(Cybiades) Peter B
bjowulf.1 <bjow...@gateway.net> wrote in message
news:382529E7...@gateway.net...
> Rick Mather wrote:
> >
> > news:802oa5$lbm$1...@oak.prod.itd.earthlink.net...
> > > Rick Mather <rma...@zip.com.au> wrote in message
> > > news:7voabh$2fn$1...@the-fly.zip.com.au...
"septic
> > > > tank", which rhymes with Yank, to refer to Americans. The term is
often
> > > > shortened to "seppo". A septic tank is a sewage/sullage tank used on
> > > remote
> > > > properties to contain and decompose human excrement. Septic tank is
a
> > > > fitting description for Americans.
read
> > what you posted.
> >
> > Anything you write will be forged, taken out of context, misquoted and
used
> > in evidence against you.
>
> here. I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of Americans, but the kind
> of diatribe you posted here is not only way out of line but not
> particularly germane to the group's content. You see that kind of stuff
> from extremists, KKK and such. You are entitled to your opinion, but I
> wish you wouldn't post it where it's not relevant. I could flame back at
> you, your post did make me angry, but what good would that do. I hope
> sometime you realize that not all of us are characterized by those you
> encountered in your newsgroups.
> Personally, I have always thought the Aussies are an admirable group of
> people.
You're right; they are. If only Americans could be so admirable back.
'Later
Peter
--
Cybiades: Computing for fun!
http://cybiades.home.mindspring.com (version 4+ browsers)
http://www.mindspring.com/~cybiades (version <3 browsers)
Father of Chloe Iris Raquel!
Home of Fels
(Cybiades) Peter B
Paul Martin <pm2...@vcu.org> wrote in message
news:3825773C...@vcu.org...
> Rick Mather wrote:
>
> > bjowulf.1 <bjow...@gateway.net> wrote in message
> > news:382529E7...@gateway.net...
> > > Rick Mather wrote:
> >
> >
even
> > read
> > > > what you posted.
> >
> >
in
> > > here. I'm sorry you have such a poor opinion of Americans, but the
kind
> > > of diatribe you posted here is not only way out of line but not
> > > particularly germane to the group's content. You see that kind of
stuff
> > > from extremists, KKK and such. You are entitled to your opinion, but I
> > > wish you wouldn't post it where it's not relevant. I could flame back
at
> > > you, your post did make me angry, but what good would that do. I hope
> > > sometime you realize that not all of us are characterized by those you
> > > encountered in your newsgroups.
> > > Personally, I have always thought the Aussies are an admirable group
of
> > > people.
> >
> >
> > <fx: Sound of can of Fosters being cracked open>
> >
> > <fx: Sound of salutary Aussie burp>
> >
> > <fx: Sound of obligatory Aussie fart>
>
> <fx: Sound of sheep bleating as it gets a celebratory Aussie shag>
>
<fx: Sound of black Americans celebrating their emancipation from slavery>