Badger and Goodger
Stinking Fish
Unfine oneday there was two jollifriends, Badger and
Goodger, and one asses an utter "Quit fishing! and hand me
that tart while you're at it."
"That's a hell of a thing to call someone's mother and
I'm sure she's something's mother or will be or could be."
"Metaphysics!" says Badger "I'm talking about pastry -
haven't you got any and anyway who's she?"
"I'm glad you asked. She's one of my splinter
personalities."
"ooo! I didn't know that about you Goodger what's that
she's got all over her?"
"Rasberry jam, I think, and don't those seeds itch!"
"I imagine they do. Mine do too."
"Actually, Badger, I think I'm peering my have-a-rod."
"Well make up your mind. If that's not jam, it stinks.
What is this? The ocean?"
"No, it's a fairy tale."
"The hell it is."
"Well after a fashion anyway. But I think that is the
ocean you're stepping in."
"Oh. Maybe that's what stinks. Well now I wish that
you'd go back to metaphysics, because I'm certainly
not going to have sex with you."
" I wasn't asking. Have you had a look at your own
nose lately?"
"Look whose talking!"
" Wellokay just a minute I will..."
....so Goodger went off to a rock concert. He had some doped
cotton candy and went around snapping the elastics on
people's pantyhose until he got unrested. Badger was stuck
on the beach with this sticky splinter personality who
smiled perfunctorily when Badger asked her anything but had
no suggestions as to what they should do.
"Maybe we should be like in that poem and look for
oysters."
"Don't look at me!" said the jam-covered unlady and
that was all she said from that time until the 16th
Century, which came back for a visit late that afternoon,
complete with pirates.
" I can't say I dislike the costumes," said the woman
"but they didn't believe in schizophrenia back now so I'll
have to be a devil WOWF!"
The she-devil chased Badger up and down the beach
until 1952, when some people brought towels and an umbrella
and started to have a picnic.
"Help! Help!" cried Badger "A woman that my friend
Goodger used to think that he sometimes was has turned into
a devil and..."
Well you can imagine how this went over on Loose Rocks
Beach in 1952.
"Are you human?" asked a little girl "Because if you
are you look pretty sick."
"Don't strange to talkers." said her father. "And for
gawdsake don't stare. He was probably born that way."
"What are you implying?" said Badger, but at that
moment a big paw clapped down on his shoulder. Thinking it
was the she-devil, which in a way it was (for instance he
was in the way of where Mom was going to put the bowl of
fruit salad) -thinking, I say, that it was a succubus,
Badger leaped out of his hair and splashed into the water,
wading for France, where he hoped that it would be 1902 or
sometime quiet.
"Wait!" cried Goodger, who had got out of prism by
exchanging faces with a dull old card sharp. "Wait! Wait!"
Badger thought that Goodger had said "Wade", and so he
proceeded to swim just to be perverse. An oyster ate him.
Goodger sighed and chewed on some cotton candy. The little
girl grew up to be mayor of Fleabite, Oregon and the
pirates converted to Sikhs. An End.
Capt. Meat
>
> Unfine oneday there was two jollifriends, Badger and
>Goodger, and one asses an utter "Quit fishing! and hand me
>that tart while you're at it."
That was his first mistake.
> "That's a hell of a thing to call someone's mother and
>I'm sure she's something's mother or will be or could be."
> "Metaphysics!" says Badger "I'm talking about pastry -
>haven't you got any and anyway who's she?"
> "I'm glad you asked. She's one of my splinter
>personalities."
> "ooo! I didn't know that about you Goodger what's that
>she's got all over her?"
> "Rasberry jam, I think, and don't those seeds itch!"
Smuckers makes dolphin-free preserves, though it's only available
in the General Accounting Office, the Dept. of Agriculture,
and Ronald's lack-of-private-table-erotica.
> "I imagine they do. Mine do too."
> "Actually, Badger, I think I'm peering my have-a-rod."
> "Well make up your mind. If that's not jam, it stinks.
>What is this? The ocean?"
> "No, it's a fairy tale."
> "The hell it is."
> "Well after a fashion anyway. But I think that is the
>ocean you're stepping in."
> "Oh. Maybe that's what stinks. Well now I wish that
>you'd go back to metaphysics, because I'm certainly
>not going to have sex with you."
> " I wasn't asking. Have you had a look at your own
>nose lately?"
> "Look whose talking!"
> " Wellokay just a minute I will..."
Wrong move. He should've shot himself with a cork-dyke instead.
>....so Goodger went off to a rock concert. He had some doped
>cotton candy and went around snapping the elastics on
>people's pantyhose until he got unrested. Badger was stuck
>on the beach with this sticky splinter personality who
>smiled perfunctorily when Badger asked her anything but had
>no suggestions as to what they should do.
Life is too short to learn by experience.
Pirates are making a comeback, 40-footers, and Gary Busey's teeth.
capt. anti-critic
hoKEy wOLf
Meat) wrote:
All those quote marks make me dizzy
hoKEy wOLf
Meat) wrote:
>FADE IN
>
>INT. ALT.NON.SEQUITUR - HURLYBURLY AFTERNOON
>
>CAPTAIN MEAT squanders remains of finger-hash, pours
>drink for HOKEY WOLF, whose agitation is noticeable
>by his penchant for desiring a date with my imaginary sister.
>
> CAPTAIN MEAT
> (furrowing)
> Hence, apostrophes will be the death of fiction.
> Though I'm personally not worried because
> I can't tell the difference...
> (hyperventilating)
> But the funny part? Neither can my potential niche audience?
>
> HOKEY WOLF
> (standing, with gin)
> Lots of penquins die that way
>
> CAPTAIN MEAT
> We used periods here, HOKEY. It's not me.
> Chinatown's bigger than Mulholland.
>
>HOKEY WOLF gulps his highball, throws it clear to China.
>
> HOKEY WOLF
> (indignant)
> Lots of penquins die that way
>
> <more>
>
>
>capt. WGA
penguins nope it's a q alright
Capt. Meat
Stinking Fish
Pirate Captain Meat said:
> >
> >Pirates are making a comeback, 40-footers, and Gary Busey's teeth.
>
hoKEy wOLf remarked:
> All those quote marks make me dizzy
>
to which Stinking Fish rejoins:
Don't be the wOLf who cried "Boy!" At least they weren't shudder quotes.
Then you would have fallen off your axis. It's polite to call them
"servers". The war is over and they say we won.
Stinking Fish
> "Stinking Fish" <tit...@cybertours.com> wrote:
> > "Look whose talking!"
> > " Wellokay just a minute I will..."
>
Capt. Meat wrote:
> Wrong move. He should've shot himself with a cork-dyke instead.
>
Stinking Fish:
While he might well sympathize with suicidal Irish lesbians, there's no
need to carry it that far.
suggestions as to what they should do.
>
> Life is too short to learn by experience.
>
Maybe that's my point. I knew I left it somewhere.
> >
> > Well you can imagine how this went over on Loose Rocks
> >Beach in 1952.
> > "
> Pirates are making a comeback, 40-footers, and Gary Busey's teeth.
> capt. anti-critic
Thank you. I thought schizophrenics were making a comeback. Aren't those
Yasir Arafat's teeth?
SPlatt8987
The schizophrenics are plagarizing Mohandas Gandhi. Those are Noman
Rockwell's leatards.