Things My Mother Taught Me

[Bruderhof News]

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Things My Mother Taught Me -

Humor for Mother's Day

Read the rest of this article at:
http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm
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[Khalil Ahmed]

" Things My Mother Taught Me" are informative, meaningful, worldly as well as spiritual wisdom-imparting quotations. All we have to think over them and make ourselves practically involved in these quotations.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Thomas Extejt from Ohio]

Did my mother write this article?

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Tanya Adamson]

Are you sure you werent raised by my mother too?! Wow, how funny!!!! I guess Im not the only one whos mother "taught" those very same lessons! "If only Id known then, what I know now...." The spooky thing is, that Im now a mother of two teenagers, and Ive said some of those things myself. Oh, my God! I think Ive become my Mother.....eeek! Only kidding! What an awesome poem/writing! Thanks for the laugh.....Im going to include it in the card I give to my Mom this Mothers Day!

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Vncent Ukwuji]

Everything about mothers makes me miss mine. I never knew her, death took her away weeks after my birth. But I know she wouldnt have been anything less of all the wonderful mothers of this world. Even in death she still teaches me. She thought me about team work. God, my father and she, together they brought me into this world.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Mary]

Brought my mom back to life-I enjoyed it with a chuckle and had to pass it on to my brother.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Claire]

I found it quite humerous, I saved it and hope to send it on to someone else .

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Ceola Chandler]

Dont we remember those sayings very well!

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Peaterella]

Hysterical! Weve all heard all of them or atleast half of them growing up - must have done something right, I live to laugh about them. Parents said them, but, they didnt intend to be mean,or malicious. I turned out very well and I love my parents. I just lost my dad, who knew me before I knew myself, and the memories are so precious. I feel sorry for those who cant see the humor and the love contained.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Anne Czerwinski]

I feel that these are all the statments that we say to our children that have been past down through the generations to help parents keep their cool. Our childen do us the misfortune of repeating our old habits, by making them their own and visiting them unto their children. Without these old standbys, we may drive ourselves crazy looking for new ones. There is a little wisdom in all of them if we seek it out! As I laughed (silently, of course) as a child as my parents used them, so did my children laughed at me, now it is my childrens turn to reap the delight of their children silent smiles. This conventional slang helps to ward off anger and later help to see things with a sense of humor. These statements are the balancing act we all need to maintain sanity!!!!!!!!!

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Lorraine Martin]

Did we have the same mother??? How funny - I heard those-grew up in the 1950s. Very cute article - enjoyed.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Donald Mark]

Good mothers always told you what God loves,the truth.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Shawn]

I remember all but one and am wondering whether I said the same (some of them anyway) to my children at one point and time.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Robin Conway]

I really enjoyed the Things My Mother Taught Me. That was very entertaining.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Tutu]

i think my mum wrote this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Lino]

I was brought up by a single mom back in the 50s and 60s when single moms were very much in the extreme minority. Most of the things mentioned above were also uttered in frustration by my mother. I agree that it probably made her blow off some steam instead of resorting to violence. Did I get spanked? Yes, once or twice - I remember coming home past my curfew only to find my mother waiting for me at the door with a broom. Did she hit me with it? Yes. Did it hurt? Only for a moment, but it was deterrent and I never came home late again. I was so humiliated getting spanked in front of my friends. That hurt more than getting a beating.
In todays society, my mother would have been reported to DSS, Department of Social Services. I might have been put on Ritalin, or some other wonderful money making drug. I would have been labeled as a person with ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, because I didnt listen or was a mischievous little boy. Too many labels today and not enough loving and caring. Children expect to be disciplined not ignored.
All I can say is that my mother cared about me. She was always there for me. She didnt drop me off someplace for three hours. There was no lack of respect when I was growing up in a small Italian section of Boston.

It did take a village to raise children then - now theres no village. Everybody is off on their own doing their own thing. You can have it.
Thanks MOM,
Happy Mothers Day

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[james n kumar]

If one learns the things Mothers have taught us this world would be a better place to live. My Mother taught me to give anyone in need, until it hurts.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Sue]

It took me a few minutes to realise these sayings were actually supposed to be funny, and when I did, I just felt stupid. When I was growing up my mother would tell me, amongst many other things, I was a horrible person no one would ever want to live with, and I grew up with a deep knowledge of my stupidity. I never did find the funny side, although since becoming a committed Christian 18 years ago, I have worked hard to build a relationship with my mum.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Sylvia Wilhelm]

My mother taught me most of these things also, but, the one I remember the most is the clean underwear one. I was a registered nurse and at one time I worked in the emergency room. We were too busy to worry about anyones underwear, if we had to take it off of them!!!

One I taught my daughter is when you go to a strange city, if you see a lot of old people going into a restaurant, go there because the food is probably cheap and fairly good.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Zohra]

My mother taught me about Beauty
"when u become old, dont look upon other face & figure. Try to remember your comments about your old anties & uncles"

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Marcy Stemm]

Out of 24 comments, 4 are slightly funny. I say "slightly" because their humor is diminished by my anger at the other "jokes" which are filled with threats of violence, coercion & manifest hostility.
They are:
(1) Direct threats of physical violence: "Religion, Time Travel, Irony, Circle of Life, Anticipation, Receiving"
(2)Coercive control by fear & guilt: "If you dont eat your vegetables...If you dont stop crossing your eyes...There are millions of less fortunate children..."
(3)Hostility: All of them, plus "Youre just like your father" is certainly an indictment in this context, condemning the child and the offensive parent.
(4) And, as is stated, the "most important:
The ultimate curse: "One day youll have kids and I hope they will turn out just like you."
Given the deep wounds and ugly scars words like these inflicted on so many of us at the hands of our either insensitive & thoughtless or cruel mothers when we were young and vulnerable -- I protest. Let us not continue to be blind to the true nature of these remarks. The person who compiled them with clever classifications had only witty intentions in mind (consciously), Im sure. But the unconscious speaks loudly and the child does not forget. We desire to be mothered and long to be connected to and loved by the woman who parented us. While many were loved by their mothers, their mothers could only "love" as they themselves were loved...by threats of violence, coercion and fear. Many of your readers may object to my comments -- believing me to take this sincere attempt at Mothers Day humor too seriously and reading way too much into it. I ask them to consider this: How marvelous it would be if we had memories of mom telling us how special we are -- how much joy we bring to the family. How our sense of humor makes life more fun. How our urge to explore encourages the family to have more adventures. Etc. Memories of how much your mother and father love each other so that when your mother says youre just like your father, youre thrilled!
I hope another reader understands what Im trying to say or else I have not expressed it well. Ill check back to see what others have to say and perhaps, respond.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Patrick Steggall]

So simple, but oh so true, thanks!!

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Lucille Beaudry]

Thank you, this was the humour I needed this morning. I know I hear everyone of them from my mom, and what she didnt say........I did. Oh well, the circle of life. Thank you for sharing these keeper sayings. Blessings.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Charlotte Mariasy]

This made my day! I find myself becoming more and more like my own mother each day.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[G.Vaidyanathan]

Various aspects and qualities of a Mother have been beautifully brought out.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Naomi]

This was very funny...... My mother said many of these things and modified some of them and it is fun to laugh of some of these things. Most of this was said out of frustration. Being a parent now I understand these frustrations. I was very loved and my mom told me that she loved me and why she scolded me at times. I was quite the talented liar and rarely if ever got caught, but as I got older I could hear my mother once saying, "the one I cant stand is a liar." I can see the look in her eyes and I dont remember being fearful, just embarrased. Now if I am tempted to lie I remember her comment and I know why those little and big lies are no good. Ive also learned to be careful and gentle with the truth because it can sometimes hurt. Some of us can laugh at these sayings because we know our parents loved us, its not as funny to write the mushy love moments, but for many of us they certainly existed. I remember more love than punishment. I enjoy laughing at the silly things of the past and I learned from my mistakes. My mother has passed on, which brings tears to my eyes even 8 years later, but when I remember her I remember the warm hugs and love the most.

Responding to http://www.bruderhof.com/articles/mother-taught-me.htm

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

[Mary]

My mother taught me religion:
"You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about time travel:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"

[Mary]

My mother taught me logic:
"Because I said so, that's why."

[Mary]

My mother taught me more logic:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

[Mary]

My mother taught me foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

[Mary]

My mother taught me irony:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about the science of osmosis:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about contortionism:
"Look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

[Mary]

My mother taught me about stamina:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about weather:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

[Mary]

My mother taught me about the circle of life:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

[Mary]

My mother taught me about behavior modification:
"Stop acting like your father!"

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me about envy:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do."

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me about anticipation:
"Just you wait until we get home!"

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me about receiving:
"Boy, are you are going to get it when you get home!"

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me medical science:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me humor:
"When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me how to become an adult:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me genetics:
"You're just like your father."

[Megan R.]

My mother taught me wisdom:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

[Megan R.]

Most important, my mother taught me about justice:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[Theresa]

Yes we lived by my mothers sayings and we listened to her alot.You have a very neat site.

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[Susie]

Your right that is the same as my mom taught me as a kid. Good common sence doesnt hurt anyone only helps. Thanks for the reminder no matter the age.

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