Weekend update 23rd and 24th June
Vicky Larmour
that I FINALLY wallpapered (with lining paper, prior to painting) the walls
in our boxroom that we've been working on since Easter. Yay me! I'd never
done any papering before, but after a slightly shaky start (damn paper kept
tearing at the top when I tried to cut it off!) I got pretty fast at it and
even managed to do around the light switch and electric sockets without too
many problems. I am so happy it's finally done.
Oh, and we had really nice weather all weekend so we had a barbecue on
Saturday evening, which was really nice.
Anyone else?
Vicky
--
vicky[at]jifvik.org All opinions mine.
The "unofficial offical alt.newlywed page" and a.n FAQ:
http://www.jifvik.org/newlywed/
Michelle
wrote:
>Didn't do a whole lot most of the weekend, but I did want to post to say
>that I FINALLY wallpapered (with lining paper, prior to painting) the walls
>in our boxroom that we've been working on since Easter. Yay me! I'd never
>done any papering before, but after a slightly shaky start (damn paper kept
>tearing at the top when I tried to cut it off!) I got pretty fast at it and
>even managed to do around the light switch and electric sockets without too
>many problems. I am so happy it's finally done.
I also did some home stuff this weekend. Saturday, we started scraping
the frames of the windows (outside) so that the could get painted, but
it started raining before we got to the paint part. Sunday, ILs took
care of some of the painting. We still have lots to do, but the house
looks so much better with the new colours. I'll post before and after
pictures when we're done.
>Oh, and we had really nice weather all weekend so we had a barbecue on
>Saturday evening, which was really nice.
Saturday night we went out with the ILs for their anniversary. It is
difficult to choose a restaurant for them, as they don't go out often
and are intimidated by the stuff that's too fancy, but we refuse to go
to the local pub for an anniversary celebration. We always make a
point of bringing them somewhere new. Unless we do it with them, they
will never do it on their own.
It was a great success! We chose an italian restaurant, with a menu
they could easily read, that wasn't too fancy, lots of atmosphere and
very busy. They really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, MIL was sick that
night, but we're not sure it was related to the food itself. I
personally think that it's because she's on WW and that night, she
went all out, which her body is not used to doing. She was feeling
better the next day.
Me, on the other hand, I felt awful. My sore throat started Saturday
afternoon and was just awful when I woke up on Sunday. Got woken up by
the inlaws who wanted to come and help paint. DH was busy working
(from home, but he was busy the whole time) and I felt awful, but they
said to ignore them, they would work on the paint and we could go
about our regular business. For the record, we wanted to pay someone
to paint the house, but they offered to do it for us. DH took a day
off last week to help him, and I helped him on the saturday, and we
did buy him a tool as "salary" for doing this.
First of all, I felt awful not working while they were sweating in the
sun, so I took all my energy and went to mow the lawn. Well, it took
all my energy to do that. I was drained after.
Then, things started getting ugly. DH goes out to chat with them,
comes in and says that his mother did something bad. She started
cleaning my flower beds in front of the house since she was bored. She
was basically there because her DH was up on a ladder and wanted her
there for security reasons, but she was getting bored and decided to
clean the fron flower area. WITHOUT ASKING ME. Sounds stupid, but
we've had this problem before at our previous house where she ripped
out stuff that I wanted to keep and started planting new things
without asking me. We were supposed to do this together, but she
didn't wait for me and took charge, and I'd been waiting for a long
time to do these flowers. I was so disapointed. She KNOWS she has to
ask before she does anything. Anyhow, I had no energy to argue, I knew
she was doing us a favor by being there, so I told DH that she should
have asked, but that it's ok, I've been wanting to do it for a while,
but never had the chance to do it. So he gave her this message.
Then, they move to the back of the house. I have a flower bed there
too, where my raspberry bush used to be. We have a few raspberry
branches still there in a corner and I wanted to keep them. DH and I
had gotten into a heated argument about the raspberry bushes, and we
finally came to an agreement that we would keep a few and that we
would move them somewhere else next season. Well, you guessed it. Dear
MIL assumed because I gave the OK for the front of the house, we were
giving her carte blanche to do anything. SHE RIPPED OUT ALL OF MY
RASPBERRY PLANTS!!!! ALL OF THEM! She left a stump that was too big to
dig out alone and that's it!
When I saw this, I almost started crying. I did cry, but only after in
my bedroom. She said they would grow back, and I know they probably
will, but I can forget about having any raspberries this year, and
probably next year too. If I pulled out her perrennials and said they
would grow back next year, she would be insulted, right? You don't
know how much I'm restraining myself from going to her place and
ripping out some of her plants. She had no right! I was so mad, so I
went and grabbed a bag of Dahlia bulbs that I didn't have time to
plant and gave them to her and asked her to plant them. If she wants
to muck in my garden, she's going to do what I want, and that includes
planting dahlias. I left the house before I knew if she actually did
plant them, because I was just so mad, I figured that I was better off
leaving then blowing up in her face.
Ok, so I know there are worse things than losing a raspberry bush, but
this just shows how my relationship with my MIL is a constant
struggle. I don't have kids right now, and I keep thinking how it's
going to be quite a struggle.
And this also reminds me why we should never get the ILs to do stuff
for us. It always turns out ugly.
I feel bad for DH, as he's kind of stuck in the middle of this. He
agrees with me and doesn't like it when his mom does this, but he's
always doing the middle man, and doesn't feel like doing this again. I
will take care of this myself this time. I know she's going to be
really afraid of dealing with me after, but heck, this is my house,
and things are going to happen the way I want them to. This sounds
selfish, but I worked hard to get this house, and I'll be darned if
I'm going to let her control it. Already, I added some perennials that
she gave me that I didn't want to make her happy.
And to top it all off, I feel just as crappy this morining. I don't
want to go to work today, but the ILs are supposed to continue
painting today. I'd rather be at work than being at home with them
right now.
Sorry for the vent. I needed to get it out.
Michelle
aMAZon
Michelle wrote:
> Then, they move to the back of the house. I have a flower bed there
> too, where my raspberry bush used to be. We have a few raspberry
> branches still there in a corner and I wanted to keep them. DH and I
> had gotten into a heated argument about the raspberry bushes, and we
> finally came to an agreement that we would keep a few and that we
> would move them somewhere else next season. Well, you guessed it. Dear
> MIL assumed because I gave the OK for the front of the house, we were
> giving her carte blanche to do anything. SHE RIPPED OUT ALL OF MY
> RASPBERRY PLANTS!!!! ALL OF THEM! She left a stump that was too big to
> dig out alone and that's it!
You poor thing! I know what it's like to have access to bearing
raspberry canes, and to have lost them, for such a reason, would
make me more than cranky, too.
>
> When I saw this, I almost started crying. I did cry, but only after in
> my bedroom. She said they would grow back, and I know they probably
> will, but I can forget about having any raspberries this year, and
> probably next year too. If I pulled out her perrennials and said they
> would grow back next year, she would be insulted, right? You don't
> know how much I'm restraining myself from going to her place and
> ripping out some of her plants. She had no right! I was so mad, so I
> went and grabbed a bag of Dahlia bulbs that I didn't have time to
> plant and gave them to her and asked her to plant them. If she wants
> to muck in my garden, she's going to do what I want, and that includes
> planting dahlias. I left the house before I knew if she actually did
> plant them, because I was just so mad, I figured that I was better off
> leaving then blowing up in her face.
>
> Ok, so I know there are worse things than losing a raspberry bush, but
> this just shows how my relationship with my MIL is a constant
> struggle. I don't have kids right now, and I keep thinking how it's
> going to be quite a struggle.
At least you're aware there may be trouble.
>
> And this also reminds me why we should never get the ILs to do stuff
> for us. It always turns out ugly.
>
> I feel bad for DH, as he's kind of stuck in the middle of this. He
> agrees with me and doesn't like it when his mom does this, but he's
> always doing the middle man, and doesn't feel like doing this again. I
> will take care of this myself this time. I know she's going to be
> really afraid of dealing with me after, but heck, this is my house,
> and things are going to happen the way I want them to. This sounds
> selfish, but I worked hard to get this house, and I'll be darned if
> I'm going to let her control it. Already, I added some perennials that
> she gave me that I didn't want to make her happy.
You could take them out later. We found that of our perennials, the
mints (spear, pepper, and cat) did well, but the oregano and
parsley did not. We had to pull back some of the mints so we'd
be able to plant the other stuff!
--
aMAZon
zesz...@worldnet.att.net
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
Lissie
"Vicky Larmour" <vi...@jifvik.org.nospam> wrote in message
news:90CB7D9C3...@193.35.222.34...
> Anyone else?
>
> Vicky
Sure! Let's see...Friday night we went out to Framingham and had dinner
with a good friend and his GF, and he showed us silly home videos, it was
very fun! The only slight tiny downside was that we had chicken for dinner,
and my stomach was not entirely happy. I think because I eat so little meat
usually, that when I do, my stomach gets upset. Oh well. Saturday was a
wonderful, lazy day. Slept in, hung out, relaxed, it was great! We did
some shopping for presents for Nik's folks who were coming to visit on
Sunday, and went to Harvard Square (carrying the first present we bought the
whole way, a double ended canoe paddle). We had a late lunch/early dinner
at the Border Cafe, and went to see Chocolat at the Arlington Capitol
theater (a cheaper theater). We loved the movie, it was very sweet (LOL no
pun intended). Sunday, Nik's parents came to visit for the day, so we spent
the morning cleaning before they got there (I swear, the only time we do a
big cleaning is for company). We showed them his new office, then went to
see Shackleton's Antarctic Adventure at the Omni, and then had dinner at a
nice restaurant. His dad just retired and his mom just announced she's
retiring in two weeks, so it was a nice celebration! Then they headed off
and we collapsed on the couch! Today has been slightly productive, and it
was a great weekend!
- Lissie
Susan Behr MacDuffee
On 25 Jun 2001, Vicky Larmour wrote:
> Anyone else?
Friday night we ate dinner at my sister and BIL's house. My other sister
and her family were visiting from NC. They had spent the week prior down
in the Keys. So we had a nice dinner of shish kabobs on the grill and
spent the night laughing and generally having a great time. The visiting
sister has three boys so she, BIL and my oldest nephew stayed with us
while the other two boys stayed with my other sister, BIL and their kids.
Saturday morning we had breakfast at my sister's and then the NC sister
and family left to drive back to NC. The visit was too short for me, but
at least I got to see them for a bit. We are hoping to travel by car to
NY in December and are hoping to stop in NC on the way back for another
visit.
The rest of my weekend was spent being inspired by the ANHP (AN House
Projects) fairies :-) I shopped for poster frames and picture frames and
put a lot of pics in those frames and started a "family" wall in our
hallway. It looks pretty good so far. I also put a Dali poster in a nice
frame, but now need to figure out where to hang it. I did a lot of laundry
and also changed the shower curtain and accessories in our main bathroom.
Next weekend we want to pick up some paint and get started on painting our
bedroom and one of the spare bedrooms. I want to do our bedroom a medium
green and the other bedroom a deep red. I am sick of looking at all white
walls. I will probably be asking for painting advice from all of the
experts here. I would like to do our bedroom in a textured style. I don't
know what it is called but it makes the paint look like seude on the
walls. My sister's friend did this and I think she used a sponge and two
colors of paint for the technique. Dave put up new blinds in our living
room after Lucy broke one of them the other day. I bought one blind to
replace the broken one and then it wasn't the same color white as the
others so I bought all new ones.
Sunday evening we cooked out and had my sister and her family over. Dave
cooked a chicken on our grill's rosstisere and BIL made blackened salmon.
The menu also included yellow rice, corn and lettuceless salad (grape
tomatoes, cucumbers, baby carrots and chick peas in italian
dressing--mmmm).
So, all in all I had a really productive weekend. This weekend we are
having a mini-getaway. We are going to a w*dding near Tampa, FL and
staying the night there and Sunday I am hoping to talk Dave into visiting
the Dali museum in St. Pete.
--Susan
donna
> And this also reminds me why we should never get the ILs to do stuff
> for us. It always turns out ugly.
Just keep this in mind the next time they offer - and go ahead and pay
the professionals to come paint the house. Sigh. Sorry to hear about
the raspberry plants.
For a happy IL story, I give you my weekend. Actually, this requires
going back a weekend - took our mouse on his furthest trek from
home yet, accompanying sweetie on a business trip back to our old
Boston haunts. Stayed with a friend whose daughter is slightly older
than our son, and as can be expected in such situations, it turns out
she'd caught something which mouse then caught (he had a low grade
fever by tuesday) which I picked up from him. We'd planned for the
ILs to come babysit so we could attend a local wedding and a not-so-
local reception on Saturday, but because the mouse was refusing solids
(and nursing for combination hydration and comfort) we opted to miss
the reception and only attended the wedding. I felt so bad cancelling -
but in the end it was a good thing because my fever spiked Saturday
night. Thankfully our friends understood. Also thankfully, my MIL
came up regardless and looked after the both of us! She was only
here 24 hours, but we attended the wedding, I got some much needed
naptime in, all the toys and sheets were disinfected or washed AND
she got to feed her grandson oatmeal! (He was feeling better and able
to restart solids again by that point. He eats *so* much better for her
than for me, sigh. ;)
The only thing missing is we failed to deal with the hornets' nest that
showed up in our backyard while we were away. (We started, but
then our neighbors were out in the backyard all weekend, and we
decided it would be a Bad Thing (tm) to really take down the nest
while there was a chance their kids might be outside. ;)
donna
Michelle
wrote:
>You poor thing! I know what it's like to have access to bearing
>raspberry canes, and to have lost them, for such a reason, would
>make me more than cranky, too.
Well, it's a few days later, and I'm over it now. I'm still sad, but I
guess I could just buy some more if I wanted to. It's just that I went
through so much with DH about this, it feels all wasted now. I could
have kept my energy for something else.
I'm over it, but I still haven't talked to MIL yet. I'm not sure if I
should bring it up or if she got the hint the day it happened.
>You could take them out later. We found that of our perennials, the
>mints (spear, pepper, and cat) did well, but the oregano and
>parsley did not. We had to pull back some of the mints so we'd
>be able to plant the other stuff!
She gave us so many of them (of the same kind), that we will
certainly be taking some out. I might leave just one or two bunches,
but then I'm going to do what I want to do in my garden. I just didn't
have the time and money to do that this summer.
Thanks for listening!
Michelle
Michelle
wrote:
>> Michelle wrote:
>
>> And this also reminds me why we should never get the ILs to do stuff
>> for us. It always turns out ugly.
>
>Just keep this in mind the next time they offer - and go ahead and pay
>the professionals to come paint the house. Sigh. Sorry to hear about
>the raspberry plants.
Yes, I have to keep that in mind. It seems that we keep forgetting,
but the lack of raspberries in my back yard will be enough of a
reminder.
>For a happy IL story, I give you my weekend.
That's great! I hope one day I'll be able to have happy IL weekends.
If mine ended after saturday night's supper, it would have been
perfect. I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
week to keep sane.
>The only thing missing is we failed to deal with the hornets' nest that
>showed up in our backyard while we were away. (We started, but
>then our neighbors were out in the backyard all weekend, and we
>decided it would be a Bad Thing (tm) to really take down the nest
>while there was a chance their kids might be outside. ;)
Quite thoughtful neighbours you are! This is the first time that we
have nice neighbours ever. When I lived with my parents, the
neighbour would snow blow his driveway and put his chute high enough
that it would go right into our driveway while I was shovelling! I
gave him a few bad looks and the only thing I got from him was a great
big smile. Grrr. Now we take turns with the neighbours to mow each
other's lawn, and they don't mind me going in their back yard to
retrieve my frisbee. It's taking some getting used to. But it's great!
Michelle
donna
> I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
> week to keep sane.
Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
to babysit their grandson! (Not that we wouldn't visit that often
just to see each other - but there's never enough weekend time
as it is for getting stuff done... says the woman whose 14-year
old car just failed inspection and thus the 'do we get a new car
or be lame and put it off yet again' debate once more rears its
ugly head.) Right - but the point - I applaud the once a week
maximum. I would think it essential for everyone's mental health.
> Quite thoughtful neighbours you are! This is the first time that we
> have nice neighbours ever. When I lived with my parents, the
> neighbour would snow blow his driveway and put his chute high enough
> that it would go right into our driveway while I was shovelling! I
> gave him a few bad looks and the only thing I got from him was a great
> big smile. Grrr. Now we take turns with the neighbours to mow each
> other's lawn, and they don't mind me going in their back yard to
> retrieve my frisbee. It's taking some getting used to. But it's great!
Oh, but these are wonderful neighbors. They caught me out there
shovelling snow (pregnant) this past winter (I'm used to the Boston
mail carriers who put up a fuss if you haven't cleared a path) and
lo-and-behold, the rest of the winter my driveway and front walk
were miraculously kept clear of snow before I could do anything
about it. They do have a snow-blower (and *like* it) which helps,
but still - it was incredibly sweet. And very appreciated. :)
donna
Leslie Deak
On 25 Jun 2001, Vicky Larmour wrote:
> Didn't do a whole lot most of the weekend, but I did want to post to say
> that I FINALLY wallpapered (with lining paper, prior to painting) the walls
> in our boxroom that we've been working on since Easter. Yay me! I'd never
> done any papering before, but after a slightly shaky start (damn paper kept
> tearing at the top when I tried to cut it off!) I got pretty fast at it and
> even managed to do around the light switch and electric sockets without too
> many problems. I am so happy it's finally done.
Well, we seem to be madly prusuing house projects, and that was our
weekend. DH had Friday off, and waited for the plumber, who arrived and
installed a new tub faucet and declared our "wrong" valve to the icemaker
to be the right type, so he didn't replace that. Then he headed to Costco
for new tires for the Camry. I came home kind of early and we watched
"Trading Spaces" and puttered around the house. I made dinner, and we
watched the thunderstorms.
Saturday, I made DH promise he'd go furniture shopping with me, and we
visited 3 stores. The first had a great bedroom set at a price we like,
and the third had a diningroom table I fell in love with (but was $1000).
A lady told me about a place where she'd bought something similar, so we
raced over to that place before it closed, but didn't find what we wanted.
We returned home, and I went to Home Depot to get some staining stuff.
When I came home, we re-grouted some dislodged tiles in the tub, and
caulked some open areas. Then we worked on replacing the patch of wall the
plumber had to take out to get to the faucet. It had been previously taken
out, so we simply replaced the piece, braced it into place, and patched
it.
Sunday, I wanted to stain and finish the livingroom cabinet we'd bought a
month ago. I unloaded it, and DH helped me carry it outside, grousing that
he didn't want to fill his weekend with chores. I told him he didn't have
to help me, then. I sanded the cabinet and removed the hardware, and DH
came out to help stain. We chose between three I'd bought, and we put on
the first coat. WE went inside to sand and paint the patch we'd done on
the wall, and I went to a couple of open houses in the neighborhood. We
polyurethaned in the late afternoon, and I made a gazpacho and past salad
dinner from the July Cooking Light. Shortly thereafter, we moved the
cabinet back inside, and cleaned up the porch. Then we watched the HBO
Sunday night lineup (Sex and the City, Six Feet Under--we skipped Aril$$)
and went to bed. I don't think we'll be doing any more home projects next
weekend!
-Leslie
Hillary Israeli
donna <mij...@spamfree.home.com> wrote:
*"Michelle" <mi...@my-deja.com>:
*
*> I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
*> week to keep sane.
*
*Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
*them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
week seems like nothing to me!
h.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net in...@hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)
Leslie Deak
On Tue, 26 Jun 2001, Hillary Israeli wrote:
> Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
> (can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
> except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
> away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
> week seems like nothing to me!
Yeah, but we already know that you're an IL Saint!
-Leslie
Vicky Larmour
>Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
>(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
>except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
>away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
>week seems like nothing to me!
Wow back atcha! We see my inlaws twice a year at most, and we see my
parents maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I usually phone my parents once a week
or even more, and DH phones his parents every couple of weeks, and we
exchange the occasional e-mail; but I can't fathom seeing them THAT often!
There literally isn't anybody other than each other and work colleagues
that we see that often.
HollyLewis
>*
>*> I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
>*> week to keep sane.
>*
>*Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
>*them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
>
>Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
>(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
>except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
>away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
>week seems like nothing to me!
>
>h.
And I could've written Donna's post. We see my ILs once every month or two,
maybe a bit more often since their grandson was born. I guess DH talks to them
on the phone about once a week, which always seemed like an awful lot to me! I
talk to my parents & sister about once a month -- and we only see them several
times a year, but that's because they live farther away.
But I sympathize with Michele. My MIL wouldn't actually go out and rip plants
out of our garden, because that would require actual labor. But if we really
did any gardening she'd undoubtedly make weird remarks about our choices. And
any time she does offer to "help" us with something it's always because she
wants us to do things her way, not because she's actually trying to be helpful.
Holly
Jan A. Cordes
> In article <slrn9jhjd2....@manx.misty.com>, Hillary Israeli wrote:
>>Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
>>(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
>>except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
>>away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
>>week seems like nothing to me!
> Wow back atcha! We see my inlaws twice a year at most, and we see my
> parents maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I usually phone my parents once a week
> or even more, and DH phones his parents every couple of weeks, and we
> exchange the occasional e-mail; but I can't fathom seeing them THAT often!
> There literally isn't anybody other than each other and work colleagues
> that we see that often.
There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away. We've seen
DH's parents twice in the last three years. Once at our wedding, once
at his sister's wedding. My MIL alternates from being a real kick in
the pants to being a large pain. Lately, on the phone, she's been a
kick. She sends me stuff in email that I just have to shake my head
over cuz I'd never expect to receive this stuff from her. But, she has
moments that make me want to cringe on occasion as well. There were a
few things that happened with our wedding/rehearsal dinner where I was
not the least bit thrilled with her. Fortunately, we won't have to go
there again.
Jan
--
jan(at)panix.com http://www.couchtigers.com
...................................................................
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: http://www.svff.org : mice, hates dogs, and :
:Mary Kay Cosmetics, Inc. : patronizes human beings.:
: http://www.marykay.com/jcordes : --Oliver Herford :
:.................................:...............................:
Kellie Gaines
Friday, I finally got a hold of the dr's office and the male nurse told me
that the lump was not cancerous but instead was a glandular fiberous
nodule(?). I asked him if it needed to be removed, will it continue to get
larger, etc and he couldn't answer any questions, so I'll be calling my
doctor
this week for more information. I was happy that it doesn't appear to be
malignant but not having my questions answered made me still feel nervous.
We left that night for Catalina. It was a great stay, with one exception.
On
Sunday, Mark was putting sunscreen on Jenna and somehow he got some in her
eye. Poor baby =( She was crying and screaming and rubbing her eyes (which
only made it worse). He kept saying "but it says no stinging!". So I
finally
grabbed the bottle and it meant no stinging of skin, not of eyes (ie, not
like
J & J's shampoo). So, we tried to rinse them out with water under the tap,
tried my eye drops (saline), etc... but it only made her more worked up.
Finally, she kept saying "bye-bye" and pointing out to the cart, so we went
ahead to the beach club anyway. Once we got there, she fell asleep on Mark
and they stayed that way for a couple of hours. She seemed fine after that
but at bathtime that night, she freaked out again. So, it will be
interesting
to see how she responds to a bath now that we're home.
The rest of the weekend was great, with Jenna walking all over the place and
talking up a storm. We did get to do our island "tour", which is when I
make
Mark take us all over the place to look for landscaping or houses that I
like
=)
Two things that have made me feel old. Yesterday, we got up and were making
plans for the day. Mark was supposed to come home and Jen & I were supposed
to stay on the island until Thursday. I just realized that I was done with
this vacation. I've never done that before but I just had that "ready to
get
home" feeling and so I decided that we'd all come back together. Second,
this
morning, Jen & I went to the grocery store early. They had those "Wild
Vines"
flavored wines on sale, which for some reason sounded really good at 8:30am
=), and so I got one. When I was checking out, the cashier very calmly says
"Oh, well, I'll need some ID for this", and I said before thinking "what
for?". sigh.
Anyway, we are back early and glad to be home.
kellie
>===== Original Message From vi...@jifvik.org =====
>Didn't do a whole lot most of the weekend, but I did want to post to say
>that I FINALLY wallpapered (with lining paper, prior to painting) the walls
>in our boxroom that we've been working on since Easter. Yay me! I'd never
>done any papering before, but after a slightly shaky start (damn paper kept
>tearing at the top when I tried to cut it off!) I got pretty fast at it and
>even managed to do around the light switch and electric sockets without too
>many problems. I am so happy it's finally done.
>
>Oh, and we had really nice weather all weekend so we had a barbecue on
>Saturday evening, which was really nice.
>
>Anyone else?
Alena
says...
>
>>*"Michelle" <mi...@my-deja.com>:
>>*
>>*> I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
>>*> week to keep sane.
>>*
>>*Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
>>*them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
>>
>>Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
>>(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
>>except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
>>away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
>>week seems like nothing to me!
>>
>>h.
>
>And I could've written Donna's post. We see my ILs once every month or two,
>maybe a bit more often since their grandson was born. I guess DH talks to them
>on the phone about once a week, which always seemed like an awful lot to me! I
>talk to my parents & sister about once a month -- and we only see them several
>times a year, but that's because they live farther away.
>
very long drive) away, but we do talk to them once a week (mostly DH, of
course). I talk to my family once a week, and we e-mail often as well. We only
see them once or twice a year, since they are 4,000 miles away.
For now I think of it as an advantage, as I think we would have issues if we saw
each other frequently (with my parents as well, not just ILs). I do wish they
would be closer for FC, as they will be (for the most part, anyway) very good
grandparents.
Alena
Lynn A.
> There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away. We've seen
> DH's parents twice in the last three years.
Isn't that the truth?! Mine are 1500 miles away. I saw them in
November of 1998. Arvid goes back two, three times a year. His mother
has a computer and e-mail now and she writes to me once in a great
while. I'd welcome the chance to get to know her more and for her to
get to know me. All she knows now came from Arvid's ex-wife so we can
all guess how accurate THAT information is, especially since LEW (lol)
has never met me or even talked to me!
When my mother was alive, I saw her once a week. I only lived a few
blocks away. I did her grocery shopping, cleaned her house, etc. I
wish now that I had come over more often.
Lynn
--
My mind wanders...but my body is too tired to follow.
Carrie L Leonard
Hillary Israeli <hil...@hillary.net> wrote:
>
>Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
>(can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
>except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
>away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
>week seems like nothing to me!
OTOH, I see my MIL maybe once a year. I haven't seen any of my SIL or BIL
in over a year. My dh sees his inlaws (my parents) twice a year and my
sister everyday (she lives w/us). I'd love to live closer for monthly
visits -- but this island living thing can be a drag sometimes in that
respect.
Carrie
Geri Clark
Jan A. Cordes wrote:
> There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away.
Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
We see my PILs maybe twice a year, and only then if *we* go to *them*. In the
last 12 months, we've seen them:
- for a "weekend" -- Friday night to Sunday afternoon -- in July at their place
- for dinner sometime last fall at our place. They were in NY for eight days
(for a friend's retirement party) but spent all of their time with friends and
BIL and managed only to clear their schedules for one dinner with us.
- for another short weekend -- Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon -- in May.
I am not going down there again until they come to NY. The only reason we go
down there now is because DH's great-aunt is down there with them and she's 99
years old. Since we want to see her while we still can, we go there. DH was
calling his folks every Sunday but he realized that they never call us so he's
making less of an effort now.
We have not seen SIL since the day after her w*dding in December 1998. She lives
in California but we've heard through the family grapevine (she also doesn't
call us) that she and her DH and baby are moving to Memphis.
We see BIL about once a month. He lives about a 20-minute train ride from us and
goes to school and works in NYC.
We see my folks more often. I talk to my mom about 4-5 times a week and we see
them when we can (they live about 350 miles away). We've seen them:
- This weekend. My niece was baptized so my folks were down for that. Actually,
I'm at their house right now (I went home with them with my dog and cat to leave
them here while DH and I go on vacation.)
- In April when my niece was born (just for a few hours at the hospital)
- At Christmas at our house
- In early November at their house (fetching the dog after another vacation)
- last July 4 at their house
After that it gets fuzzy :-)
We like visiting at my folks' house, but it's a bit of a schlep to get here --
about 6.5 hours with no insane traffic. We try to have at least two long
weekends a year with them, and since we usually leave the pets with them if we
go away for more than a few days, we usually succeed :-)
Vicky Larmour
<ger...@earthlink.net> wrote:
> Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
>
> We see my PILs maybe twice a year, and only then if *we* go to
> *them*.
[snip]
> We see my folks more often. I talk to my mom about 4-5 times a
> week and we see them when we can (they live about 350 miles
> away).
Tee hee! My parents are "only" 250 miles away but to us
geographically challenged UK-ians that's a long way, hence we only
see them 3-4 times a year as per my earlier post.
My PILs are probably no more than 350 miles away as the crow flies
but we see them less often, due to the necessity for a flight or a
ferry (to cross the Irish Sea) as part of the journey.
Vicky
--
Ivanova: "Lennier, get us the hell out of here!"
Lennier: "Initiating 'getting the hell out of here' maneuver..."
- Babylon 5: "The Hour of the Wolf"
Jan A. Cordes
> In article news:3B3908A7...@earthlink.net, Geri Clark
> <ger...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>> Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
>>
>> We see my PILs maybe twice a year, and only then if *we* go to
>> *them*.
> [snip]
>> We see my folks more often. I talk to my mom about 4-5 times a
>> week and we see them when we can (they live about 350 miles
>> away).
> Tee hee! My parents are "only" 250 miles away but to us
> geographically challenged UK-ians that's a long way, hence we only
> see them 3-4 times a year as per my earlier post.
Much to my DH's dismay, my parents are quite close. My mom is 15
minutes away. I talk to her quite a bit and we get together for
family events and/or dinner about once a month. I'm close enough
to run over there if she needs help with anything. My dad is about
30-40 minutes away and we talk or email a couple of times per month.
Jean
Geri Clark wrote
>
> Jan A. Cordes wrote:
>
> > There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away.
>
> Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
>
> We see my PILs maybe twice a year, and only then if *we* go to *them*. In
the
> last 12 months, we've seen them:
My PIL are 10 miles away and we see them about once a week or less often.
We visit them, rather than the other way around because there's a very high
bridge on the most direct route that my MIL doesn't like very much (the
other options are to travel via back roads or through the city centre).
My mother is 50 miles away and we probably see her about once a month,
alternating who goes to see whom (is that the right grammar?). But if she
has an appointment in the city or we have another reason to go down the
country, then we'd usually meet up as a matter of course.
Jean
--
This email address is currently unread - please post all replies.
"Sisters remember things you would rather forget.
In graphic detail..
...With proof!"
Jennifer
"Geri Clark" <ger...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B3908A7...@earthlink.net...
>
>Actually,
> I'm at their house right now (I went home with them with my dog and cat to
leave
> them here while DH and I go on vacation
So how did the ride with Rudy go? My cats are yowlers in the car, so I'm
looking for success stories :-)
- Jennifer in Delaware
HollyLewis
Aaaaaaaaaargh! Kellie, shame on you. He's a nurse. As far as I can tell
there was no reason for you to make a point of his being male. I thought only
folks like DH's 90-year-old grandfather still said things like "male nurse."
I'm glad to hear the news wasn't bad, anyway. :-)
Holly
Rebecca
>And I could've written Donna's post. We see my ILs once every month or two,
>maybe a bit more often since their grandson was born. I guess DH talks to them
>on the phone about once a week, which always seemed like an awful lot to me! I
>talk to my parents & sister about once a month -- and we only see them several
>times a year, but that's because they live farther away.
We see my parents every three months (4 hours drive) and DH's parents
once a year (10 hours drive) As a child, I saw all my grandparents
2-4 times per month. It seemed normal then, but now I wonder how each
of my parents managed to tolerate their respective in-laws so often.
This is probably different for people whose ILs actually like them.
DH calls his parents once in a blue moon. I call my parents when I'm
on the road and want to let them know I arrived safely, provided I
have no internet access. Otherwise I just email them, which I do a
few times a week regardless.
--
Rebecca
r...@softhome.net
Jocelyn
"HollyLewis" <holly...@aol.com> wrote:
> >Friday, I finally got a hold of the dr's office and the male nurse told
me
>
> Aaaaaaaaaargh! Kellie, shame on you. He's a nurse. As far as I can tell
> there was no reason for you to make a point of his being male. I thought
only
> folks like DH's 90-year-old grandfather still said things like "male
nurse."
Hee hee - I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed this. I wasn't going
to say anything, because I didn't want to seem like I was picking on Kellie,
but, like you said, Holly - aaaarrgghh!
FWIW, though, a friend of mine (an MD) dated a guy who's a trauma nurse (ah,
love in the ER) for awhile, and most of our group of friends insisted on
calling him a "male nurse" - and none of them are over 35. She never
corrected people, but I was constantly on them. Of course, now we just call
him d*ckhead. ;-)
- Jocelyn (who's been called a "lady lawyer" more than once)
Barbara Warner
>
> "Michelle" <mi...@my-deja.com>:
>
> > I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
> > week to keep sane.
>
> Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
> them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
> to babysit their grandson! (Not that we wouldn't visit that often
> just to see each other - but there's never enough weekend time
> as it is for getting stuff done... says the woman whose 14-year
> old car just failed inspection and thus the 'do we get a new car
> or be lame and put it off yet again' debate once more rears its
> ugly head.) Right - but the point - I applaud the once a week
> maximum. I would think it essential for everyone's mental health.
>
parents) 2-3 times a week, and would probably have difficulty coping if
they *had* to cut down to just once a week or <gasp> once every 2 weeks.
You see, my sister is dealing with health issues and my dad's retired,
and he's as hopelessly in love with baby Seb as the rest of us are, and
my BIL often has long work days/nights which don't match up well with my
sister's medical appointments, so the baby hangs out here (at my
parents' place) quite a bit.
But, I think they'd probably echo Donna's statements in reference to my
sis' ILs (so, BIL's parents). They're just not *that* close.
And heck, I only see my ILs once every few months or less -- MIL and her
parents live in Vancouver (a 3 1/2 - 4 hour flight one way from here),
while FIL does live in Toronto (where I'm based most of the time these
days, and DH occasionally), he is sent out of the country for a lot of
his job (either New Jersey or an international office in South America,
Australia, etc). His parents (so, DH's other grandparents) are about an
hour's drive from here, and we typically see them 3-4 times a year
(basically once a season, unless something special crops up). Couldn't
imagine seeing them more frequently -- DH just isn't as 'close' with his
family as he's become with mine. (The fact that he added my surname to
create a shared family name speaks volumes of our relationship to the
family and lack thereof with his.... He often says that if he'd had a
less distinctive name, like Jones or Smith or Brown, he'd have just
changed his name completely!).
> Oh, but these are wonderful neighbors. They caught me out there
> shovelling snow (pregnant) this past winter (I'm used to the Boston
> mail carriers who put up a fuss if you haven't cleared a path) and
> lo-and-behold, the rest of the winter my driveway and front walk
> were miraculously kept clear of snow before I could do anything
> about it. They do have a snow-blower (and *like* it) which helps,
> but still - it was incredibly sweet. And very appreciated. :)
I like to hear good neighbour stories! We've had a wonderful
relationship with most of the neighbours in our block of townhouses (7
units to a block; we're friends with 4 of the 6 houses of neighbours).
But the best neighbourly act of the winter *has* to go to an
acquaintance of Julian's from the community association who, in the
midst of a major storm which shut down public transit completely and
creatd a 1.5 to 2+ hour wait for taxis, drove me in hordes of snow and
traffic to school to write my final bar exam! She even looked in the
snowy streets for my mittens on her drive home and left them at our
doorstep ... they'd fallen out of the car when I switched seats.
She was a godsend. The horrible bit about that day was that I couldn't
miss the exam -- not only was it a bar exam, the make-up exam for that
course was set for the second day of the AN Cruise!
-Barbara
Barbara Warner
>
> In article news:3B3908A7...@earthlink.net, Geri Clark
> <ger...@earthlink.net> wrote:
>
> > Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
> >
> > We see my PILs maybe twice a year, and only then if *we* go to
> > *them*.
>
> [snip]
>
> > We see my folks more often. I talk to my mom about 4-5 times a
> > week and we see them when we can (they live about 350 miles
> > away).
>
> Tee hee! My parents are "only" 250 miles away but to us
> geographically challenged UK-ians that's a long way, hence we only
> see them 3-4 times a year as per my earlier post.
>
and one of us has been able to make the trip nearly every weekend since
Easter? Kinda puts things in perspective (on both sides).
Although to be fair to the UKers, our 250 miles is practically direct; I
take a couple of city streets to get to the highway, then it's three
hours on the first highway, about an hour on the second, and less than
fifteen minutes on the third one (I think). Reverse that for the Ottawa
-to - Toronto route :-) This route typically takes 4 1/3 hours without
stops, and more like 5 1/2 to 6 hours in traffic *and* with dinner
stops. Since I've been travelling this route fairly regularly since I
left for university 9 years ago (though not ever as regularly as these
past 4 months!), I generally just try to drive straight through. 8-10
hours in a car over a weekend is not a problem, nor is it unusual here.
From what I remember of typical English, Scottish and Welsh road
systems, it's likely that your 250 miles is much less direct. Lots of
winding roads, traffic for miles, indirect connections, etc., etc.
-Barbara
Barbara Warner
Aha, I thought this too when I first read it, and thought, "hmm, maybe
Kellie was going to say that the nurse was being rather vague or
calluous because he hadn't any (major, female-type) breasts himself, and
hadn't any idea of how painful thes diagnostics might be"...but nothing
followed along those lines.
-Barbara (a lawyer, hopefully not refered to as the female barrister or
woman solicitor!)
HollyLewis
>systems, it's likely that your 250 miles is much less direct. Lots of
>winding roads, traffic for miles, indirect connections, etc., etc.
>
Yeah, but it still doesn't take that long. I remember looking at a map of our
proposed choir tour route in England and there was one day that looked (on the
map, compared with the rest of the "drive days") like a really long trek --
from Yorkshire back to London, maybe? -- but then we looked at the itinerary
and realized it was only a two hour drive. Absolutely nothing, in California
terms, but the English think that's a major outing. :-)
Holly
Megan
> Although to be fair to the UKers, our 250 miles is practically direct; I
> take a couple of city streets to get to the highway, then it's three
> hours on the first highway, about an hour on the second, and less than
> fifteen minutes on the third one (I think). Reverse that for the Ottawa
> -to - Toronto route :-) This route typically takes 4 1/3 hours without
> stops,
Our drive up to Scotland is slightly longer (311 miles, according to
my route planning software, taking 6 hours 15 in a 38 tonne lorry).
We can do it in 5 hours with a stop for dinner, if we don't hit
traffic in any of the three urban motorway sections (West Mids, North
West and Central Belt in Scotland). We're only a few miles from the
motorway here, and then its straight up the M6 and M74 to Glasgow,
across to the M8 (which can be a nightmare) then over the Forth Road
Bridge.
I suspect we actually drive a bit faster than you though Barbara (we
usually do 80-90 mph).
I don't know why long drives are considered so much longer here, we
probably do a lot more of them than a lot of people as well and I
always have done.
I suspect, though, that petrol/diesel being around $5 a gallon here
probably has some influence. A trip to Scotland and back costs us
over $120 in fuel alone and thats in our diesel.
Megan
Megan
>
> > There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away.
>
> Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
or 12000?
We see my ILs 3-4 times a year, we usually go there twice a year and
they come down once, though not always for a long stay (this time for
instance, they were here 2 nights and out all day!) MIL comes down
once on her own as well.
My mother used to come every year until she got 'ill', but hasn't been
since the w*, 2 years ago, which was the last time I saw her. I
usually go to see the family in NZ every 2-3 years, we are going this
Christmas, which will be my first visit in 3 years, Neil's first ever
(and first time meeting most of the family).
Megan
KathrynKula
>Date: 6/26/01 3:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time
>Message-id: <3B46...@MailAndNews.com>
>Friday, I finally got a hold of the dr's office and the male nurse told me
>that the lump was not cancerous but instead was a glandular fiberous
>nodule(?). I asked him if it needed to be removed, will it continue to get
>larger, etc and he couldn't answer any questions, so I'll be calling my
>doctor
>this week for more information. I was happy that it doesn't appear to be
>malignant but not having my questions answered made me still feel nervous.
Great news Kellie! I've been keeping you in my prayers, and I am so relived
that it isn't malignant. I've been told that i have fibrous bre@sts, and that
these fibrous things might possibly be mistaken for a lump. I don't know if
that's the same as your fibrous glandular nidule, but if it is, it isn't
anything to be concerned about.
--Kathy
Michelle
> On 26 Jun 2001 18:28:50 GMT, holly...@aol.com (HollyLewis) wrote:
>
> >And I could've written Donna's post. We see my ILs once every month or two,
> >maybe a bit more often since their grandson was born. I guess DH talks to them
> >on the phone about once a week, which always seemed like an awful lot to me! I
> >talk to my parents & sister about once a month -- and we only see them several
> >times a year, but that's because they live farther away.
>
> We see my parents every three months (4 hours drive) and DH's parents
> once a year (10 hours drive) As a child, I saw all my grandparents
> 2-4 times per month. It seemed normal then, but now I wonder how each
> of my parents managed to tolerate their respective in-laws so often.
> This is probably different for people whose ILs actually like them.
When I said max once a week, it didn't mean I saw them every week. We
go through phases. Sometimes we won't see them for a month, maybe even
two, then we'll see them every week for a while. And last weekend, we
saw them on Saturday night, and the came to help us paint the next
day. Not a usual situation.
And since they live a 5 minute drive away, it's easy for us to see
them often, and difficult to not see them often. We went through this
phase where MIL would invite us over for breakfast every Saturday and
Sunday morning. I would go one day, but refused to go twice in one
weekend and DH would go alone. We've worked it out since, and unless
DH has specific plans to do stuff with his parents without me, or he
really needs to talk to them in private, we either both go, or we
don't.
I think what happens is that we don't see them for a month, then we
call them up or something, and it's like she needs a good dose of her
son for her to last another month, so she goes overboard. I don't know
if that makes sense...
At least they never drop by unexpectedly, which I'm really grateful
for.
Michelle
Michelle
>
> But I sympathize with Michele. My MIL wouldn't actually go out and rip plants
> out of our garden, because that would require actual labor. But if we really
> did any gardening she'd undoubtedly make weird remarks about our choices. And
> any time she does offer to "help" us with something it's always because she
> wants us to do things her way, not because she's actually trying to be helpful.
I know what you mean. My MIL loves to do things, but I always have a
feeling that she only gets involved because I'm not doing things
"right". I know that she got involved in the garden because there were
weeds that I hadn't pulled out and that's just plain wrong. And she
happened to be out there with nothing to do.
But when she doesn't do things, I know what she's thinking, sometimes
by the way she looks at things, sometimes just because I know her too
well. I don't let it bother me too much and I choose my battles. The
raspberry bush was between DH and I, and I didn't think I'd have to
get MIL involved in this one. I thought that battle was over. And when
she started playing in the garden in the front, I figured that it
wasn't a battle worth fighting. It makes her happy, and my flower bed
gets cleaned, and it needed to be cleaned. But now I know I should
have put my foot down.
Man, this is tough. I don't want to be in a constant battle, so I let
her have things once in a while, but like the expression goes, "I give
her an inch, she takes a foot"...
Michelle
Hillary Israeli
Leslie Deak <ld...@me1.egr.duke.edu> wrote:
*
*On Tue, 26 Jun 2001, Hillary Israeli wrote:
*
*> Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
*> (can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
*> except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
*> away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
*> week seems like nothing to me!
*
*Yeah, but we already know that you're an IL Saint!
Well, but I love my in-laws! I'm not speaking of the SILFH here. I'm
speaking of my husband's family :)
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net in...@hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
newly minted veterinarian-at-large :)
Lissie
maybe every couple of months, and we see Nik's folks about the same. I
*really* like (as well as love) both his parents and mine, and they're
really cool people to hang out with! In fact, in a few weeks we're spending
a weekend at his parents' house with my parents and a couple who are our
really close friends! :) We're also planning that longterm we're going to
stay close to both sets of parents, in part for HFC, but also because we
want to be close...
- Lissie
"HollyLewis" <holly...@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20010626142850...@ng-ch1.aol.com...
Lissie
(actually, that's fairly true), but I am just not comfortable with people
"dropping by" without calling first! Even if it's just two minutes warning,
that's enough!
- Lissie
"Michelle" <mi...@my-deja.com> wrote in message
Hillary Israeli
Jocelyn <gnir...@earthlink.not> wrote:
*
*- Jocelyn (who's been called a "lady lawyer" more than once)
I've been called a "lady vet," a "woman vet," a "girl vet," and a "female
vit'nery!" On each occasion I've pointed out that such a phrase is almost
as stupid as saying "cold ice cube," because heck, about 90% of my class
was in fact female.
Leslie Deak
On Wed, 27 Jun 2001, Lissie wrote:
> That is REALLY important! Maybe I am not a really spontaneous person
> (actually, that's fairly true), but I am just not comfortable with people
> "dropping by" without calling first! Even if it's just two minutes warning,
> that's enough!
OTOH, I love drop-ins. Usually, the only people who would have the
audacity to drop in are friends who are close enough that you can tell
them to scram if it's a bad time.
-Leslie
Leslie Deak
On Wed, 27 Jun 2001, Lissie wrote:
> We see our folks a lot less than we'd like to, actually!
I think we're about satisfied with our frequency, though last year it was
higher than usual. We see DH's parents, on average, once every 1-2 months.
Sometimes it's once a month, sometimes less. We see each other in NC, in
Boston, and occasionally when they're driving through DC. FIL comes to DC
every few months for a conference, and he usually has lunch with DH before
leaving (though I'm not usually there).
Since my parents are in FL, we don't drive down there (haven't since
leaving college). I end up seeing them every 3-4 months or so. We go to
Tampa for Christmas, and other circumstances will usually put us within
200 miles of each other during the year. We've met up in NC for a soccer
tournament, in PA for w*ddings and funerals, and I will fly to Tampa for
various family events. I'd like to go down again this summer, but might
not make it. I've already been there twice this year (March and May), and
will probably see them in Pennsylvania when my brother starts college this
fall. (Since my mom will be able to travel, the whole family will probably
go up, and we've been talking about football games in the fall.) They've
only been to DC once since we've been here (my sibs twice), but they were
supposed to come in April 2000, but then my mom got sick. They still have
the plane tickets, however, and say they're gonna use them. Dunno when,
though.
-Leslie
aMAZon
Hillary Israeli wrote:
>
> In <9hbfgf$k6p$1...@slb3.atl.mindspring.net>,
> Jocelyn <gnir...@earthlink.not> wrote:
>
> *
> *- Jocelyn (who's been called a "lady lawyer" more than once)
>
> I've been called a "lady vet," a "woman vet," a "girl vet," and a "female
> vit'nery!" On each occasion I've pointed out that such a phrase is almost
> as stupid as saying "cold ice cube," because heck, about 90% of my class
> was in fact female.
And here I thought you might be called an animal vet!
Ninety percent female vets? Wow! That's impressive.
--
aMAZon
zesz...@worldnet.att.net
"It's never too late to have a happy childhood."
Hillary Israeli
*
*On Wed, 27 Jun 2001, Lissie wrote:
*
*> That is REALLY important! Maybe I am not a really spontaneous person
*> (actually, that's fairly true), but I am just not comfortable with people
*> "dropping by" without calling first! Even if it's just two minutes warning,
*> that's enough!
*
*OTOH, I love drop-ins. Usually, the only people who would have the
*audacity to drop in are friends who are close enough that you can tell
*them to scram if it's a bad time.
Yeah, I like drop-ins too, which is good, because my SIL/BIL neighbors are
the queen and king of'em. My MIL is also a fan of the drop-in, whereas my
mom wants to drop-in on me all the time but doesn't take "not a good
time" for an answer, so that's annoying because if it is a bad time, she
ends up pissed off at me. ggrrr. Oh, and I'm not allowed to drop in on
mom, but she wants to drop in on me. Feh.
Hillary Israeli
aMAZon <zesz...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
*
*
*Hillary Israeli wrote:
*>
*> In <9hbfgf$k6p$1...@slb3.atl.mindspring.net>,
*> Jocelyn <gnir...@earthlink.not> wrote:
*>
*> *
*> *- Jocelyn (who's been called a "lady lawyer" more than once)
*>
*> I've been called a "lady vet," a "woman vet," a "girl vet," and a "female
*> vit'nery!" On each occasion I've pointed out that such a phrase is almost
*> as stupid as saying "cold ice cube," because heck, about 90% of my class
*> was in fact female.
*
*And here I thought you might be called an animal vet!
Heh. Animal vet I haven't heard yet. Who knows. I guess it's a good way to
distinguish from military or war vet, right?
What really gets me is "veterinarian hospital." "Oh, you're a vet! You m
ust work at a veterinarian hospital then?" Uh, no. I don't know of any
veterinarian hospitals, actually. Most veterinarians are seen at regular
plain old hospitals. I work at a veterinary hospital,
thankyewveddymuch. :)
*Ninety percent female vets? Wow! That's impressive. *
Well. I don't know. I think it goes along with a) the switch from vet med
as mostly agricultural to mostly companion animal (don't have to deal with
farmers and huge animals so women are more accepted and able, not that
women can't do farm practice, but...) and b) the fact that most companion
animal vets undervalue themselves and work for crap pay, resulting in men
preferring higher paid jobs and women being willing to put up with the low
pay. But that's just my opinion. :)
Robin Tutt
>
>
>
>Jan A. Cordes wrote:
>
>> There are benefits to having ILs that are 3000 miles away.
>
>Hehe. Or even 1000 miles away.
>
We've discovered that we need to go about 4 months in between substantial visits
with my ILs. Since Katherine was born, though, they're much more likely to come
spend a few hours with us. They live in Long Island, but they have a plane.
Whenever they fly to Florida, or wherever, they'll usually stop and have lunch
with us. We'll pick them up at the airport, go eat at a restaurant, then drop
them back off. On the upside, I never worry about cleaning for them!
We both really like visiting with my parents, so we try to see them more
often--every two-three months or so. They just came and helped us move; before
that we went to see them in March, and we'll see them again in a few weeks. We
like my parents because they act like family around us (we cook meals, my mom
likes to help me clean up, my dad likes to fix stuff). With his family, it's
much more of a guest situation (restaurants, and "can I get you a drink")
Robin T.
Sarah McCusker
> Anyone else?
OK, it's a late weekend report, but we just got back. :-)
Friday night, we ran a bunch of errands (during a terrific thunderstorm!), had
dinner at Bennigan's, and then met up with some friends at the movie theater.
We saw Tomb Raider - definitely not the best movie I've ever seen, but the
first decent don't-have-to-concentrate popcorn flick I've seen in quite some
time. And Lara Croft is the bad-ass I've always wanted to be. :-)
Saturday, off we went to Connecticut for the third time in five weeks! The
drive was uneventful, and we arrived at MIL's house at around 6:30pm. My
uncle and his SO (who is, coincidentally, a good friend of MIL's!) were
arriving at 7pm and we were all going to go to dinner together. I hadn't seen
my uncle since Christmas, and it was great to be able to spend time with him -
he's my godfather and sort of my "second dad" - he gave me away at my w* and
such. Anyway, we ate at our *favorite* restaurant - Murasaki in Simsbury,
CT. Of all the restaurants we've ever been to, it's our favorite, and we try
to get there at least once a year when we're visiting. We were there until
probably 10pm, chatting and laughing and eating sushi, and afterwards we all
went back to MIL's house for cocktails and more chatting. They left around
11:30 and I forget what we did after that, but we went to bed around 2am.
Sunday I went to the mall while DH and BIL went to get SIL's graduation
present. We met back at MIL's for a steak dinner; then I went to my
grandmother's for a while.
Monday we ran some errands for MIL and then went to see my grandmother again
(this time with DH). After that, we drove aimlessly around our hometown,
looking at all the new (and old) houses, and decided definitely that we want
to move back to that area sometime within a year or two.
SIL's graduation (from HS) was at 6pm on Monday night. DH, MIL, GrandMIL,
StepMIL, and I all piled in the car and drove over to the school where we met
BIL. It was hot and sunny and there was no shade. I was fine, but a lot of
the older folks (grandparents and the like) seemed to really be having a hard
time. The graduation itself was fine, considering it was the 2nd graduation
I'd been to in 2 weeks where there were 400 kids graduating, of whom knew 1.
:-) But SIL was thrilled to get her diploma - there'd been some concern that
she'd have to do summer school - and we were all happy for her.
We had a small party back at MIL's house afterwards, where SIL opened her
gifts and had a brief Sally Field moment when she realized that we all really
do like her. :-) Then she left for their chem-free allnighter, leaving DH,
BIL, MIL and I to drink far too much wine and get silly over Monty Python.
:-)
Tuesday we drove back to VA - another uneventful drive.
And now I'm back at work!
Sarah
Sarah McCusker
> In <9S0_6.313970$K5.33...@news1.rdc1.nj.home.com>,
> donna <mij...@spamfree.home.com> wrote:
>
> *"Michelle" <mi...@my-deja.com>:
> *
> *> I think I'm going to have to make a rule: ILs maximum once a
> *> week to keep sane.
> *
> *Wow. That's a lot. I mean, I like my ILs and all - but we see
> *them once or twice a month - and this only because they love
>
> Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
> (can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
> except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
> away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
> week seems like nothing to me!
If we lived closer to my family and to my ILs, I suspect I'd agree. When I
was growing up, we lived in the same town as both sets of my grandparents.
We saw my maternal grandparents almost daily, and my paternal grandparents at
least a couple of times a week. These weren't necessarily *long* visits -
maybe we just stopped by to drop something off or whatever - but we did see
them.
That's what's been difficult to adjust to, living so far away from our
families. Because both DH and I grew up with
grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. who we saw multiple times each week,
it's been difficult to adjust to seeing *everyone* only three or four times a
year, or sometimes less! We've decided, finally, that we're tired of dealing
with that, and have made definite plans to move back to CT within the next
couple of years (I mean, we know we'll do it - but there is no official
timeframe or anything yet).
Sarah
Sarah McCusker
I agree. I miss the days of hearing the doorbell and wondering "oooh, who could
that be?" No one stops in on us anymore - not even salesmen or evangelists,
since they're prohibited in our complex - and I really, really miss that.
When we're in CT, I sometimes won't tell my grandmother that we're making the
trip, and will drop in at her house. The surprise on her face is priceless!
Sarah
who misses living with her grandmother
Vicky Larmour
<al...@ncf.ca> wrote:
>> Tee hee! My parents are "only" 250 miles away but to us
>> geographically challenged UK-ians that's a long way, hence we
>> only see them 3-4 times a year as per my earlier post.
>>
><LOL> Vicky, do you realize this is the exact distance between DH
>and I,
> and one of us has been able to make the trip nearly every weekend
> since Easter? Kinda puts things in perspective (on both sides).
Wow, yep it does! :-)
> From what I remember of typical English, Scottish and Welsh road
> systems, it's likely that your 250 miles is much less direct.
> Lots of winding roads, traffic for miles, indirect connections,
> etc., etc.
Actually in this particular case it's pretty direct - out of our
little side road where our house is, turn onto the Cambridge ring
road for about 500 yards, turn up one other road for another mile and
then straight onto the A14. From there its motorway or motorway
standard all the way to about 5 miles from my parents' house, and
those last 5 miles are on suburban street type roads, not little
windy country lanes.
It takes us about 2.5 hours to get there, but as Holly said in a
later post, such a drive is a big trip for us! :-)
Vicky
--
Ivanova: "Lennier, get us the hell out of here!"
Lennier: "Initiating 'getting the hell out of here' maneuver..."
- Babylon 5: "The Hour of the Wolf"
Lissie
"Leslie Deak" <ld...@me1.egr.duke.edu> wrote in message
news:Pine.LNX.4.10.101062...@me1.egr.duke.edu...
> OTOH, I love drop-ins. Usually, the only people who would have the
> audacity to drop in are friends who are close enough that you can tell
> them to scram if it's a bad time.
>
> -Leslie
I have often wanted to be someone who was comfortable with it (mostly I
wouldn't mind being more spontaneous!), but for me, I just get nervous when
someone rings my doorbell and I am not expecting anyone! I am fine with the
"I am just down the block, wanna hang out" phone call - but random doorbell
rings make me nervous! :)
- Lissie
Tracy
> Wow. I think I see my MIL 3 or 4 times a week, my FIL at least once a week
> (can you say workaholic?), and most of my SIL/BILs also 1-3 times a week
> except for the BIL who's engaged to the law student whose parents live far
> away. And my husband sees his inlaws at least once a week, too. So once a
> week seems like nothing to me!
>
This is about our schedule with my parents. They live less than a
mile away. I see them often. We're over there together for dinner
probably on average once a week. I go more often, because Dan works
late often (and comes home non hungry). I'll also stop over other
times to visit my sister and niece (they live with my parents and have
since my sister's separation from her husband over a year ago).
Sister and niece will be moving soon though, to a house that is only
another mile away from my parents (about 2 miles from me). I have an
aunt who lives up the alley 4 doors (well, she lives on a street
parallel to ours, but we share the same alley). We all go walking
together fairly often. And a lot of times they'll go walking (mom,
sister, niece) and stop over at our place to see how we are. I don't
mind pop-ins from them one bit. Honestly, my parents are more like
friends to us. If they weren't my parents, I would still want them to
be a part of our lives.
Now, the ILs....I dunno. Fortunately, they don't live as close. It's
about a 40 minute drive, so there are no pop-ins. We see them
probably about once every two weeks on average. They are nice fun
people and I do like them. I just wouldn't want to be with them that
often.
I come from a "help-each-other-out" family, but I don't get that sense
from the ILs. Miraculously, Dan suffers almost none of the dreaded
Middle Child Syndrome problems.
What's interesting too, is that I think Dan feels more comfortable
around *my* family than his own. I don't think he would want to see
his parents more often than we do.
But, extending from there, we definitely spend more time doing things
with his extended family than mine. We get invited to more big family
reunion type get-togethers from his family. My family isn't into
that. I see his grandmas much more often than I see my own, despite
mine living about 1 1/2 miles away, and his living closer to his
parents.
Weird stuff, family dynamics.
Tracy
Tracy
> I've been called a "lady vet," a "woman vet," a "girl vet," and a "female
> vit'nery!" On each occasion I've pointed out that such a phrase is almost
> as stupid as saying "cold ice cube," because heck, about 90% of my class
> was in fact female.
>
RE: cold ice cube
Or, *hot* water heater. They're just water heaters to me. They heat
the water, and then it gets hot.
Anyway, "female vit'nery"! That's the best!
Tracy
Who has a job title that doesn't make people think male or female?
But none should...for any position.
Geri Clark
Jennifer wrote:
> So how did the ride with Rudy go? My cats are yowlers in the car, so I'm
> looking for success stories :-)
>
>
It was okay. He howled horribly from NYC to New London, CT (about 2 hours and 15
minutes.) It was bad; really bad. If the traffic the other way hadn't been so
heavy I might've considered turning around.
Then I met my folks at the New London ferry and mom came in the car with me and
Rudy. We gave Clancy to my dad (they're buddies). Rudy kept mrowing all the way
to the NH border, but it wasn't the horrific yowling of the early morning. He
finally got quiet and just hung out for the last 2-3 hours of the trip.
We got here and he headed right upstairs. I set up his litter box and food in
the upstairs bathroom and he's basically hung out up there since. He's ventured
down a few times, only to be sniffed unrelentingly by my mom's wheaten terrier
(who *really* wants to be best buddies), so that sends him back up. He's eaten a
little -- less than I'd like but enough to keep him alive, so I guess that's
fine. He's not in distress -- he's happy and purring and chatting away up on the
staircase landing. So I guess it's okay. I think he'll eventually come down and
join the pack.
Jen in South Florida
"Sarah McCusker" <no...@none.com> wrote in message
>
> If we lived closer to my family and to my ILs, I suspect I'd agree. When
I
> was growing up, we lived in the same town as both sets of my grandparents.
> We saw my maternal grandparents almost daily, and my paternal grandparents
at
> least a couple of times a week. These weren't necessarily *long* visits -
> maybe we just stopped by to drop something off or whatever - but we did
see
> them.
>
> That's what's been difficult to adjust to, living so far away from our
> families. Because both DH and I grew up with
> grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. who we saw multiple times each
week,
> it's been difficult to adjust to seeing *everyone* only three or four
times a
> year, or sometimes less! We've decided, finally, that we're tired of
dealing
> with that, and have made definite plans to move back to CT within the next
> couple of years (I mean, we know we'll do it - but there is no official
> timeframe or anything yet).
>
We'd be okay with being 2-3 hours away from each family, somewhere in the
middle. That way we can visit frequently with everyone instead of these
once a year marathon visits that are so stressful!
Jen
Robin
tzf_t...@hotmail.com says...
>Tracy
>Who has a job title that doesn't make people think male or female?
>But none should...for any position.
All of our Account Managers are, and have always been (AFAIK) female. We were
recently discussing a HFAM, and I said "he or she" to refer to this HF employee.
Several of my co-workers tried to give me a hard time about being politically
correct.
Not a month later we hired a new AM. *He* starts tomorrow.
--
There's no need to e-mail me a copy of a follow-up; but if you do,
please identify it as such.
Sarah McCusker
> I could have written this post, that's exactly why I want to move back too.
> We'd be okay with being 2-3 hours away from each family, somewhere in the
> middle. That way we can visit frequently with everyone instead of these
> once a year marathon visits that are so stressful!
Yep, exactly. DH's family bugs me - but they didn't used to back when we still
lived at home and I saw them all the time. I know it's just that I'm not used
to them and consequently, like you said, the marathon visits are really hard
for me.
We're hoping to move back to the general area where we grew up (either our
hometown or one of the surrounding communities) but anything within a 3 hour
drive would be okay. Just something that makes day trips feasible!
Sarah
Sarah Hallum
> Jen in South Florida wrote:
>> I could have written this post, that's exactly why I want to move back too.
>> We'd be okay with being 2-3 hours away from each family, somewhere in the
>> middle. That way we can visit frequently with everyone instead of these
>> once a year marathon visits that are so stressful!
> Yep, exactly. DH's family bugs me - but they didn't used to back when we still
> lived at home and I saw them all the time. I know it's just that I'm not used
> to them and consequently, like you said, the marathon visits are really hard
> for me.
My mom calls it the 3 day fish and guest rule- After 3 days, both begin to
stink. It drives me batty when the inlaws visit. All I occasionally want
is my apartment back and some peace and quiet. Nope, they're happy to sit
around so we can go out and do something. And I don't know how to say
this- I've told Jeremy and he says "well, that's just how they are."
Sarah
Jennifer
"Geri Clark" <ger...@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:3B3A3C1E...@earthlink.net...
> staircase landing. So I guess it's okay. I think he'll eventually come
down and
> join the pack.
>
>
terrific trip when you go!
- Jennifer
Gretchen Shah
"Kellie Gaines" <kell...@MailAndNews.com> wrote in message
news:3B46...@MailAndNews.com...
> Wallpapering can be really difficult - good for you for getting that
done!!
>
> Friday, I finally got a hold of the dr's office and the male nurse told me
> that the lump was not cancerous but instead was a glandular fiberous
> nodule(?). I asked him if it needed to be removed, will it continue to get
> larger, etc and he couldn't answer any questions, so I'll be calling my
> doctor
> this week for more information. I was happy that it doesn't appear to be
> malignant but not having my questions answered made me still feel nervous.
Hey Kellie, that's great news!
Gretchen (uncrossing fingers)
CL
I'm delurking here ... I saw this thread and had to add my 2 cents...
DH and I have been married for 4 years (our anniversary is tomorrow!)
and we bought our first house in Oct. of 1999. My ILs live about 10
minutes away. The morning after we moved in, FIL showed up at our
door, bright and early, ready to help out with unpacking, changing
locks, etc. DH asked him to please call first next time, and FIL's
reply was, "Call first? Why?". He didn't take the hint. My ILs
continued to drop by on the weekends unannounced, and DH kept asking
them, every time, to please call first. (They never stopped by
unannounced at the apartment we lived at before.) Last summer they
would call and if we didn't answer the phone (we were outside doing
yard work) they would just come over anyway. The only way that we knew
they had called was by seeing their number on the caller ID. If we
happened to notice the called ID and they hadn't stopped by yet, we'd
leave the house and go to the store or something, just to avoid them.
It was pretty ridiculous.
I don't know if it was our constantly telling them to please call
first, or maybe they've caught on to our displeasure when they stop
by, but this spring/summer they have not stopped by unannounced at
all, and they have been pretty good with giving us advance warning.
I'm hoping it stays that way!
The next time they drop by, DH wants to strip down to his boxers and
mess up his hair and I'll jump in bed and THEN he'll answer the door
and say we're busy! :)
--Carol
aMAZon
What I found interesting was making MIL see that it's not the same
when you don't have close family nearby. Her sister still lives
one block down and one block over, and her mother was a block the
other way. It makes a difference when your nearest and dearest
are a minimum 3-4 hour drive away.
I find I prefer the fact that we can come down on the weekends
occasionally and hang out with Grandma and Uncle Brendan. The
year we lived in LA, we came out once at Christmas, and
it was that marathon visiting that was so stressful.
We live in a different type of community here, with different
obligations. At least this year we got to sing Easter vigil
with our own choir! Christmas, we're still expected down at
MIL's house for Christmas eve.
aMAZon
Your comment here reminded me of why being a newlywed can be
*such* fun. You grow up with a set of expectations, and
your beloved does as well. If the visions aren't exactly
the same, well, fur can fly.
It's taken us years to come to workable compromises.
Teej
>Well. I don't know. I think it goes along with a) the switch from vet med
>as mostly agricultural to mostly companion animal (don't have to deal with
>farmers and huge animals so women are more accepted and able, not that
>women can't do farm practice, but...) and b) the fact that most companion
>animal vets undervalue themselves and work for crap pay, resulting in men
>preferring higher paid jobs and women being willing to put up with the low
>pay. But that's just my opinion. :)
Funny- I think it is a trend in most animal care industries for there
to be more women. Out of the 40 keeper at the zoo there are 8 men.
Stacey
--
Teej
http://www.panix.com/~teej
Rebecca
wrote:
>Leslie Deak wrote:
>
>> OTOH, I love drop-ins. Usually, the only people who would have the
>> audacity to drop in are friends who are close enough that you can tell
>> them to scram if it's a bad time.
>
>I agree. I miss the days of hearing the doorbell and wondering "oooh, who could
>that be?" No one stops in on us anymore - not even salesmen or evangelists,
>since they're prohibited in our complex - and I really, really miss that.
>
>When we're in CT, I sometimes won't tell my grandmother that we're making the
>trip, and will drop in at her house. The surprise on her face is priceless!
I don't mind drop-ins if they're family / friends "about my age" but
I'd freak if either of our parents did that - the place is a mess! :-)
--
Rebecca
r...@softhome.net
Lynn A.
(loser ex-spouses) and it gets really interesting. Thankfully Arvid and
I have a very good foundation of communication built between us from the
years that that was all we had being 1500 miles apart. We have always
been able to sit down and talk things out. That's not to say there
aren't some tense times, but just knowing that we CAN and WILL work it
all out goes a long way in keeping things from escalating right from the
start.
Lynn
--
My mind wanders...but my body is too tired to follow.
Megan
> The next time they drop by, DH wants to strip down to his boxers and
> mess up his hair and I'll jump in bed and THEN he'll answer the door
> and say we're busy! :)
BTDT (back in LEB days) and it does have an effect.
Because LEB's father worked shifts, he had a key to our house, since
he would often pop in and do some work for us (we were renovating big
time) before he went in to work for back shift. He was avoiding LEB's
mother, mainly. Anyway, one day he popped round in his dinner break
(i.e. about 5pm) and just let himself in. LEB dashed down the stairs
with a towel round him. "Oh, were you in the shower?". "Yes".
"Where's Megan?". "In the shower".
After that he usually warned us if he was coming by when we were home!
Couldn't complain too much though - he was doing a lot of work on
the house for us.
Megan
who can't believe she *still* owns half that house - 50 months after
the break-up of that relationship
Michelle
>I don't mind drop-ins if they're family / friends "about my age" but
>I'd freak if either of our parents did that - the place is a mess! :-)
My ILs did drop in a few times, but every single time, it was while we
were relaxing. So you can see why I don't like drop-ins when it comes
to the ILs :)
Michelle
Hillary Israeli
Teej <te...@panix.com> wrote:
*In <slrn9jk0bo....@manx.misty.com> hil...@hillary.net (Hillary Israeli) writes:
*
*
*>Well. I don't know. I think it goes along with a) the switch from vet med
*>as mostly agricultural to mostly companion animal (don't have to deal with
*>farmers and huge animals so women are more accepted and able, not that
*>women can't do farm practice, but...) and b) the fact that most companion
*>animal vets undervalue themselves and work for crap pay, resulting in men
*>preferring higher paid jobs and women being willing to put up with the low
*>pay. But that's just my opinion. :)
*
*Funny- I think it is a trend in most animal care industries for there
*to be more women. Out of the 40 keeper at the zoo there are 8 men.
You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
undercompensated for what they do?
KathyK
>
> We see my parents every three months (4 hours drive) and DH's parents
> once a year (10 hours drive) As a child, I saw all my grandparents
> 2-4 times per month. It seemed normal then, but now I wonder how each
> of my parents managed to tolerate their respective in-laws so often.
> This is probably different for people whose ILs actually like them.
We used to live 1.5 miles from my ILs, but I think we saw them about
as frequently as we do now. Now, we're 13 miles from my parents and
~25 miles from my ILs. We see my ILs about once a week. We see my
parents (usually my mom more than my dad) about once a month. Mom
will stop in sometimes on her way home from work, but she always calls
first. My ILs will sometimes stop by too, but they'll always call
first too. When I was recovering from my surgery, they came by a few
times during the day to check on me, but they'd call to be sure it was
OK.
I'm glad that our FC will be so close to her grandparents. Stan had a
very close relationship with both sets of grandparents when he was
growing up (he'd spend every weekend with his maternal grandparents
along with his cousins). I also had a close relationship with my
living grandparents. I'm really glad that our FC will be able to do
the same.
--Kathy
aMAZon
Hijacking this post:
You may know that I'm a native of the state of Illinois, which
is abbreviated as "IL".
In looking over the headers today, it struck me as
"Frequency of IL visits" : not enough!
The last time I was back in IL was 3 years ago. DH made a promise
to me that I'd get back there every year, but you see what
happens. As it turns out now, the need to go back has lessened
a lot since I moved away almost 11 years ago. I still want to
get there again soon, and will likely go twice this year.
We have a friend making his Solemn Profession as a Benedictine
monk in August, and I've got a high school reunion in September.
aMAZon
KathyK wrote:
> I'm glad that our FC will be so close to her grandparents. Stan had a
> very close relationship with both sets of grandparents when he was
> growing up (he'd spend every weekend with his maternal grandparents
> along with his cousins). I also had a close relationship with my
> living grandparents. I'm really glad that our FC will be able to do
> the same.
>
> --Kathy
Of course I'm jealous as all get-out that your baby will have
grandparents close by.
I'm wondering, though, whether she is your child or your
"future" child? I know she's not been born yet, but I'd
probably drop both the "H" and the "F" from "HFC" by this point.
Puester
>
> *
>
> You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
> undercompensated for what they do?
>
Is there any profession that DOESN'T feel undercompensated
for what they do?
gloria p
Tracy
> Your comment here reminded me of why being a newlywed can be
> *such* fun. You grow up with a set of expectations, and
> your beloved does as well. If the visions aren't exactly
> the same, well, fur can fly.
What's great for me is that Dan's expectations and visions align more
with mine than with his own parents.
He definitely does see his parents' downfalls. Not that my parents
are perfect or anything. Our life is just very similar to my parents'
life, not to his parents' life.
Tracy
aMAZon
Maybe nuns? I mean, even if their salaries were doubled,
they'd still get $0.00.
Jennifer Angliss
wrote:
>I find I prefer the fact that we can come down on the weekends
>occasionally and hang out with Grandma and Uncle Brendan. The
>year we lived in LA, we came out once at Christmas, and
>it was that marathon visiting that was so stressful.
>
>We live in a different type of community here, with different
>obligations. At least this year we got to sing Easter vigil
>with our own choir! Christmas, we're still expected down at
>MIL's house for Christmas eve.
I feel pretty lucky that my parents (who are the ones 1100 miles away)
have basically said that when/if we have HFCs they no longer expect us
to travel at Christmas. They'll expect us to still come and visit, but
pretty much said that other times of the year would be better. I
breathed a heavy sigh of relief over that one.
Jennifer A. from Colorado
Jennifer Angliss
to a 17 hour drive, or if we fly it's about 5 1/2 hours door to door.
We've taken to driving lately as it's cheaper and less stressful. DH's
parents live 25 miles away. We see them 1-2 times a month.
Jennifer A. from Colorado
Puester
>
> Puester wrote:
> >
> > Hillary Israeli wrote:
> > >
> > > You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
> > > undercompensated for what they do?
> > >
> >
> > Is there any profession that DOESN'T feel undercompensated
> > for what they do?
> >
> > gloria p
>
> Maybe nuns? I mean, even if their salaries were doubled,
> they'd still get $0.00.
>
Yes, I think you've found the one profession that doesn't
consider itself underpaid. I bet they don't even feel
unappreciated!
gloria p
Jan A. Cordes
> Stacey
Funny. I just spent yesterday exploring potential animal careers and
realizing that I should have done this when I was much younger and less
set in my financial requirements and personal responsibilities so that
I could just pack up and go back to school down in the LA area.
I was checking out the EATM (Exotic Animal Training & Management)
program at Moorpark College, which took me to the Feline Conservation
Center (why are all the cool animal places down in LA instead of up
here in the SF Bay area?), which took me to the list of schools with
veterinary programs (specifically UC-Davis) and then to Foothill College
Veterinary Technician program.
It is currently my dream to figure out where I might fit in the grand
scheme of animal related careers. I know that deep down that's more
along the lines of what I want to do but haven't figured out how to
give up the high tech salary and do it just yet, especially with DH
not working.
Jan
--
jan(at)panix.com http://www.couchtigers.com
...................................................................
:Silicon Valley Friends of Ferals : CAT: A pigmy lion that loves :
: http://www.svff.org : mice, hates dogs, and :
:Mary Kay Cosmetics, Inc. : patronizes human beings.:
: http://www.marykay.com/jcordes : --Oliver Herford :
:.................................:...............................:
Geri
wrote:
>Yes, I think you've found the one profession that doesn't
>consider itself underpaid. I bet they don't even feel
>unappreciated!
Ha! Do you *know* any nuns?
The ones I had all through school constantly told us how they made "no
money" and got "no respect or appreciation" for "all of the
sacrifices" they had to make.
It took a little bit of the oomph out of the whole
service-to-society-and-G*d thing when they complained and whined about
it :-(
Mieko
wrote:
>It is currently my dream to figure out where I might fit in the grand
>scheme of animal related careers. I know that deep down that's more
>along the lines of what I want to do but haven't figured out how to
>give up the high tech salary and do it just yet, especially with DH
>not working.
>
>Jan
Hey Jan,
I wish you luck! my only plan to get out of a high-tech career is to win the
lottery or hit the Megabucks slot machine. I'd love to volunteer or work at an
aquarium, but I never even took a marine biology course. I'm starting to think
about some different things though, because I'm certainly not in my true
calling. :)
I'll send some more hire Drew jobs northward!
Mieko
Jan A. Cordes
Ah, you have the same lottery retirement plan we do. :^)
My science education is severely lacking. I look at the courses required
for some of the things I was interested in yesterday and realize I probably
have to spend a year or more just prepping to take the rest of the stuff
if I do find a way to do this. My college science courses were limited
to a basic genetics course and a natural science course in my first two
years (mid 70s). Language majors didn't have to take a lot of math or
science back then so I just did what was necessary to complete the general
ed course work. I remember taking a biology class in high school and don't
really remember any other sciences.
Thanks for the "hire Drew" vibes. If Drew was actually looking for a job
right now they might actually work. Unfortunately, he's decided that he
can't really actively look for something until after the house construction
is completed (mid August)...arghh!
Rebecca
(KathyK) wrote:
>I'm glad that our FC will be so close to her grandparents. Stan had a
>very close relationship with both sets of grandparents when he was
>growing up (he'd spend every weekend with his maternal grandparents
>along with his cousins). I also had a close relationship with my
>living grandparents. I'm really glad that our FC will be able to do
>the same.
DH saw his grandparents so infrequently as a child, he barely knows
anything about them. Of course with my parents and DH's parents
living over 600 miles apart with no plans to move, there's no way our
HFC will regularly see all grandparents 2-4 times per month, which is
unfortunate. I think the best we can hope for is to be close to one
set of HFC grandparents and occasionally travel to see the other.
Of course this is all so far away. The mystery expectant mother is
NOT me! (and to echo someone else - thank goodness! ;)
--
Rebecca
r...@softhome.net
Calliaz
Puester wrote:
>
> > Maybe nuns? I mean, even if their salaries were doubled,
> > they'd still get $0.00.
> >
> > aMAZon
>
> Yes, I think you've found the one profession that doesn't
> consider itself underpaid. I bet they don't even feel
> unappreciated!
>
> gloria p
Except in their retirement. My grandmother's friend Sister Pat seems to
feel a bit more unappreciated and poor now that she's retired to the
"old nun's home" (I can't remember the name). But, I think many people
her age and in a nursing home may feel the same way.
Jennifer in Tempe
Gretchen Shah
"Tracy" <tzf_t...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b7d52c97.01062...@posting.google.com...
I could have written this. DH has even said that he's more relaxed and has
more fun when we're with my family versus his. I can't imagine my parents
expecting us to schelp to visit them, just because it's Christmas. Sure,
they want to see us, but it doesn't have to be Christmas and they understand
that our new family (DH and me--no babies yet, here either) has to make its
own decisions. MIL, OTOH, told me before we were even married that they
should "get" Thanksgiving since they don't celebrate Christmas. This year,
since my parents have finally returned from seven years in Brazil, we will
be spending T'giving with my family. You can imagine how well that went
over with MIL.
Gretchen
Geri
<milin...@mindspring.com> wrote:
>
>"Tracy" <tzf_t...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:b7d52c97.01062...@posting.google.com...
>>
>> What's great for me is that Dan's expectations and visions align more
>> with mine than with his own parents.
>>
>> He definitely does see his parents' downfalls. Not that my parents
>> are perfect or anything. Our life is just very similar to my parents'
>> life, not to his parents' life.
>>
>> Tracy
>
>I could have written this.
So could I.
DH has even said that he's more relaxed and has
>more fun when we're with my family versus his.
And I could've written this too! DH is *so* much more himself around
my family. When we're with his parents, he acts stiff and barely
speaks. With mine...well, he flops around on the sofa and hugs people
:-) That likely has something to do with the fact that my family lets
him know that they actually like (not to mention love) him, whereas
his family is hyper-critical and not-so-nice.
I can't imagine my parents
>expecting us to schelp to visit them, just because it's Christmas. Sure,
>they want to see us, but it doesn't have to be Christmas and they understand
>that our new family (DH and me--no babies yet, here either) has to make its
>own decisions. MIL, OTOH, told me before we were even married that they
>should "get" Thanksgiving since they don't celebrate Christmas. This year,
>since my parents have finally returned from seven years in Brazil, we will
>be spending T'giving with my family. You can imagine how well that went
>over with MIL.
Yep. Prolly the same way it went over when I said the same thing to
my MIL ;-) (Well, except for the part about Brazil -- my folks have
never lived there.) W
Teej
>In <9he57k$mmr$1...@panix6.panix.com>,
>Teej <te...@panix.com> wrote:
>*In <slrn9jk0bo....@manx.misty.com> hil...@hillary.net (Hillary Israeli) writes:
>*
>*
>*>Well. I don't know. I think it goes along with a) the switch from vet med
>*>as mostly agricultural to mostly companion animal (don't have to deal with
>*>farmers and huge animals so women are more accepted and able, not that
>*>women can't do farm practice, but...) and b) the fact that most companion
>*>animal vets undervalue themselves and work for crap pay, resulting in men
>*>preferring higher paid jobs and women being willing to put up with the low
>*>pay. But that's just my opinion. :)
>*
>*Funny- I think it is a trend in most animal care industries for there
>*to be more women. Out of the 40 keeper at the zoo there are 8 men.
>You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
>undercompensated for what they do?
I am lucky because my salary is not the one that matters any more.
What I make is so insignificant (I was making more working as a
receptionist for an Ad agency back in college then I do now.) I know
many people who quit because they could not afford to work at a zoo in
Boston. My salary is not impressive and once you take cost of living
into account it is even less so. (Even before cost of living is
factored in our zoo is one of the lower paying zoo in the nation.)
We are understaffed and over worked. I feel guilty when I take
vacation because that just makes the day that much harder for the
people who are working. When things get too busy and staff is spread
too thin, like any job, that is when the risk of errors come in.
Making an error here can mean injury to one of our animals, or to our
staff. Since I have been working here, I have gotten to be an animal
keeper, animal trainer, vet tech, educator, I've built exhibits,
assisted the horticulture department, learned all sorts of things that
the facilities guys are supposed to do and on crazy days been the
janitor and the security guard. On good days I feel like management
actually knows how hard we work and that without us the zoo would be
nothing more then a natural history musuem since all the critters
would be dead and on bad days I think they look at us as nothing more
then sh*t shovelers (and to those that think that is what it is, I say
that parents are nothing more then diaper changers..)
On the flip side, I think it depends on what you think of as
compensation. I think what I do not just about money (maybe i have to
if I don't want to think my career is a failure.) I got the privledge
of working with endangered animals and contributing to their continued
success. I have the honor being able to go to work and interact with
animals many people never heard of. I get the chance to talk to tons
of adults and kids and try to educate them on the importance of
conservation. Every once in a while I even get to play a part in
making a child fall in love with the natural world. To me, being a
part of that is my compensation. However, I am in a comfortable
position where Larry is really making enough money that my income is
pretty disposable.
I'm not sure if that is even close to an answer but I'm tired (since i
have been up since 5:30 and I need to be up in 5 hours.).
Teej
>Funny. I just spent yesterday exploring potential animal careers and
>realizing that I should have done this when I was much younger and less
>set in my financial requirements and personal responsibilities so that
>I could just pack up and go back to school down in the LA area.
Funny- When I was in Philly I met someone who went there and I kept
thinking that I wanted to do that. I figured Larry was busy with
residency he wouldn't even notice I wasn't there.
>I was checking out the EATM (Exotic Animal Training & Management)
>program at Moorpark College, which took me to the Feline Conservation
>Center (why are all the cool animal places down in LA instead of up
>here in the SF Bay area?), which took me to the list of schools with
>veterinary programs (specifically UC-Davis) and then to Foothill College
>Veterinary Technician program.
Moorpark sounds like a neat place. From what I heard they do produce
a lot of keepers as well as animal trainers. I think a lot of grads
stay in LA and try to get a job in hollywood as trainers for movies.
>It is currently my dream to figure out where I might fit in the grand
>scheme of animal related careers. I know that deep down that's more
>along the lines of what I want to do but haven't figured out how to
>give up the high tech salary and do it just yet, especially with DH
>not working.
That's the hardest part. But speaking as someone who cut more salary
by more then half if you cn budget MUCH less money in your future
there is something awesome about really loving what you do. I love
that I look forward to going to work. I like that I get to complain
about a crazy hornbill at work.
Michelle
wrote:
>
>Is there any profession that DOESN'T feel undercompensated
>for what they do?
Since you asked, I don't feel undercompensated for what I do and I'm a
computer engineer. I don't know if that applies to the whole high tech
industry, especially with the number of layoffs recently, but still, I
think most of the people I work with don't feel undercompensated.
I know that if my coworkers would read this, they would shoot me, but
why do I deserve to be paid so much when in other professions, people
work just as hard and don't make nearly as much as what I do? I make
more than what my mom makes, and I've been working fulltime for about
3 years, and my mom is retiring from teaching in 3 years. Her job is
just as important if not more than mine, so why do I get paid more?
I just picked one profession, but this applies to many. Our society
doesn't always place importance in the right things. I'm lucky, as in
I do what I like doing and it happens to pay well, but others aren't
as lucky.
The only reason I don't feel guilty for making so much money is the
fact that I carry a cell phone and can be called almost anytime for
some help. Also, I work an incredible amount of overtime (unpaid), so
I think of it as making a lower salary with paid overtime, and that
makes more sense to me.
That's my 0.02$.
Michelle
Robin Tutt
says...
>
>I feel pretty lucky that my parents (who are the ones 1100 miles away)
>have basically said that when/if we have HFCs they no longer expect us
>to travel at Christmas. They'll expect us to still come and visit, but
>pretty much said that other times of the year would be better. I
>breathed a heavy sigh of relief over that one.
>
>Jennifer A. from Colorado
Well, it was pretty obvious that we weren't going to travel last Christmas
(although I still had one aunt ask me "when are you coming home for
Christmas"--Argh! on so many levels)
This Christmas, we've already decided that we're not going anywhere. They're
all welcome to come to us, but we've spent (and will spend) so much of this year
traveling to show Katherine to everyone, that we're not going anywhere. Not to
mention this year I'll be conscious. :) (I find that I have to remind
myself--Christmas and Katherine's birthday. Makes celebrating her half-birthday
much more appealing!)
My parents were amazed that we'd even consider visiting elsewhere; it hasn't
come up yet in his family.
Robin T.
Robin Tutt
>
>
>"Tracy" <tzf_t...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:b7d52c97.01062...@posting.google.com...
>> aMAZon <zesz...@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
>>
>>
>>
>> > Your comment here reminded me of why being a newlywed can be
>> > *such* fun. You grow up with a set of expectations, and
>> > your beloved does as well. If the visions aren't exactly
>> > the same, well, fur can fly.
>>
>>
>> What's great for me is that Dan's expectations and visions align more
>> with mine than with his own parents.
>>
>> He definitely does see his parents' downfalls. Not that my parents
>> are perfect or anything. Our life is just very similar to my parents'
>> life, not to his parents' life.
>>
>> Tracy
>
>I could have written this. DH has even said that he's more relaxed and has
>more fun when we're with my family versus his.
>
>
And I could have written both of these.
Robin T.
Hillary Israeli
Puester <pue...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
*Hillary Israeli wrote:
*>
*> *
*>
*> You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
*> undercompensated for what they do?
*>
*
*
*Is there any profession that DOESN'T feel undercompensated
*for what they do?
*
Seriously? Well, my mom says she feels that she makes a reasonable amount
of money for the work she puts in (she's a realtor, in residential real
estate). My brother, a financial analyst in Manhattan, feels
overcompensated. A couple of physician friends of mine tell me they can't
believe the amount of money they make (these are older, well established
folks, not new ones starting out!) for the hours they work when they think
of how their parents struggled. So. That's why I asked.
--
donna
> This Christmas, we've already decided that we're not going anywhere.
They're
> all welcome to come to us, but we've spent (and will spend) so much of
this year
> traveling to show Katherine to everyone, that we're not going anywhere.
Not to
> mention this year I'll be conscious. :) (I find that I have to remind
> myself--Christmas and Katherine's birthday. Makes celebrating her
half-birthday
> much more appealing!)
I have to admit, having everyone come to us last Christmas had its appeal.
:)
6 months. Hard to believe, isn't it?
donna
Robin Tutt
Absolutely. She just had her 6 month checkup last Wednesday; 15 lbs, 6 3/4 oz,
26 1/2 inches. Hitting all of the milestones right on track. She had her first
solids that night: rice cereal mixed with br*astmilk. She loved it--ate
probably 10 spoonfuls or so before it started oozing back out of her mouth.
Pictures at www.tutt.homestead.com/recent.html and
www.tutt.homestead.com/monthly.html
Robin T.
donna
"Robin Tutt" <tu...@mail.ecu.edu> wrote
> >6 months. Hard to believe, isn't it?
> >
> >donna
>
> Absolutely. She just had her 6 month checkup last Wednesday; 15 lbs, 6
3/4 oz,
> 26 1/2 inches. Hitting all of the milestones right on track. She had her
first
> solids that night: rice cereal mixed with br*astmilk. She loved it--ate
> probably 10 spoonfuls or so before it started oozing back out of her
mouth.
>
> Pictures at www.tutt.homestead.com/recent.html and
> www.tutt.homestead.com/monthly.html
>
*Sigh*. I'm officially two months behind in adding text to his webpage.
You
put me to shame. ;) BUT I just wanted to say that the teething beads in
your
last photo (the bear won) is one of my enduring favorites (well, one of his.
;)
donna
6 month mouse stats: 17lbs 10.5 oz, 27 inches.
Susan Behr MacDuffee
On Fri, 29 Jun 2001, Robin Tutt wrote:
> Pictures at www.tutt.homestead.com/recent.html and
> www.tutt.homestead.com/monthly.html
Robin,
Katherine is an absolute doll. Thanks for sharing the pictures.
--Susan
Hillary Israeli
Teej <te...@panix.com> wrote:
*In <slrn9jm6iq....@manx.misty.com> hil...@hillary.net (Hillary Israeli) writes:
*>*
*>*>Well. I don't know. I think it goes along with a) the switch from vet med
*>*>as mostly agricultural to mostly companion animal (don't have to deal with
*>*>farmers and huge animals so women are more accepted and able, not that
*>*>women can't do farm practice, but...) and b) the fact that most companion
*>*>animal vets undervalue themselves and work for crap pay, resulting in men
*>*>preferring higher paid jobs and women being willing to put up with the low
*>*>pay. But that's just my opinion. :)
*>*
*>*Funny- I think it is a trend in most animal care industries for there
*>*to be more women. Out of the 40 keeper at the zoo there are 8 men.
*
*>You don't have to answer this - but do you feel zookeepers are
*>undercompensated for what they do?
*
*I am lucky because my salary is not the one that matters any more.
*What I make is so insignificant (I was making more working as a
This is what I expected you to say.
I also think this is part of the reason the field is, as you say, starting
to be dominated by women.
*On the flip side, I think it depends on what you think of as
*compensation. I think what I do not just about money (maybe i have to
*if I don't want to think my career is a failure.) I got the privledge
Oh, of course. I feel the same way about my work, and of course I knew
going into my field that my expenditures would far, far exceed my
projected income for quite some time. It's only through the extreme
kindness and generosity of my in-laws that I'm not going to be paying off
huge student loans for the next 30 years but even if I were paying off
those loans on my own, I'd feel that the emotional compensation I obtained
through my work made the financial struggles worth it. But women, I think,
are more inclined to feel this way than men are.
h.
Tracy
> Pictures at www.tutt.homestead.com/recent.html and
> www.tutt.homestead.com/monthly.html
>
Soooo adorable :-)
Tracy
Sarah J
> In article <6N%_6.335216$K5.35...@news1.rdc1.nj.home.com>, donna says...
> >
> >"Robin Tutt" <tu...@mail.ecu.edu> wrote
> >6 months. Hard to believe, isn't it?
> >
> >donna
> >
> Absolutely. She just had her 6 month checkup last Wednesday; 15 lbs, 6 3/4 oz,
> 26 1/2 inches. Hitting all of the milestones right on track. She had her first
> solids that night: rice cereal mixed with br*astmilk. She loved it--ate
> probably 10 spoonfuls or so before it started oozing back out of her mouth.
>
> Pictures at www.tutt.homestead.com/recent.html and
> www.tutt.homestead.com/monthly.html
>
> Robin T.
She is so cute! I love that little smile and big eyes. Happy half-
birthday to her (hey, I just realized that today is *my* half-birthday!)
Sarah J (saying "I really don't need my own baby, just somebody else's
to play with occasionally.")
Leslie Deak
On 29 Jun 2001, Cleo wrote:
> Economists report this in every field, unfortunately. It happened in one of
> my fields (psychology) in the 1980's, where average salaries of
> psychologists started going down (relative to the salaries of other
> professionals). It's pretty much also happened in law. There's a very
> strong correlation betwen an increase in women in a field and a decrease
> in the salaries for professionals working in those fields.
I think that perhaps this might be due to women accepting lower salaries
for increased flexibility, perhaps. When I'm the mom for HFCs, I imagine
I'd take a pay cut for fewer hours or more flexibility, though this has
yet to be worked out with DH.
-Leslie