All Saints Implode

[D&J]

Glad Tidings !!

The word appears to be (pardon me if this is old news already) that Nicole
Appleton has left All Saints, fed up with persistent rows. The following was
posted on the newsgroup, alt.music.all-saints today.

>Chart-topping girl band All Saints are set to confirm
> whether or not they intend to split up "early next week".
>
> Rumours circulating in the music industry suggest that
> singer Nicole Appleton has left, or is on the verge of
> leaving the band due to stress and rows with other
> members.
>
> The 24-year-old, who is engaged to pop idol Robbie
> Williams, reportedly walked out on her sister Natalie and
> the other two group members Shaznay Lewis and
> Melanie Blatt.
>
> The group's spokesman Neil Redding said: "We will be
> making a statement early next week in response to the
> story in The Sun today [Saturday]."
>
> Meetings between All Saints, their agents and music
> executives are understood to be scheduled for next week
> after the band pulled out of the Smash Hits awards on
> Monday due to "illness".
>
> A report in The Sun tabloid claimed the real reason was
> because the band had split up.

[MrLocust]

I heard that the band actually found out that Nicole is a Space-Lizard who has
come to steal all our cheese through the medium of song. Naturally the band
were a bit concerned with how this might affect their chart status what with
Nicole occassionally having to spend an entire show basking on a warm rock
before being able to sing the encore, and subsequenntly had to discuss the issue
thoroughly with Jeff, a man who lives in Kent. Upon finding out that they'd
discussed her future with a bloke called Jeff rather than with herself, Nicole
went on a spirraling binge into depression which culminated in her being found
in the Wolverhampton branch of Tesco's eatinng babies. Sources have it Nicole
is currently burrowing her way to the centre of the earth in order to hibernate
until everyone forgets the baby incident and as such will be unavailable for any
up coming tours or recording sessions.

D&J wrote:

> Glad Tidings !!

>
> >
> > Rumours circulating in the music industry suggest that
> > singer Nicole Appleton has left, or is on the verge of
> > leaving the band due to stress and rows with other
> > members.
> >
> > The 24-year-old, who is engaged to pop idol Robbie
> > Williams, reportedly walked out on her sister Natalie and
> > the other two group members Shaznay Lewis and
> > Melanie Blatt

--
Yours
Ever-so-sincerely-that-random-passer-by's-would-surely-foom-wantonly-upon-exposure

MrLocust

"To err is human...fucking wankers"

GC'98: uSKeba7baWdaiddaHcca65kwYSWQwaf-omcscadx18mELp3f7Gsb5eafaGDaeebi
0daLcImBik6aaasNbdka-zHabaaaacukIOM

[MIKE235684]

implode? Phew, at last. are they going to suck the Sp*ce G*rls down with
them? The world would be a better place, peace and goodwill to all. And don't
buy any chart rubbish for your loved ones this Christmas. Show them you care,
and buy some REAL music.

Mike.

[Nigel Jones]

None of my loved ones like Classical music.

Nige