Do people get mad at you for talking about TMBG too much?
Quinn Collard
now. LAME. Or are you actually capable of shutting up about them
occasionally with non-fans? Cos I'm not, apparently.
q.
Bryce
Yeah, I usually abandon the topic before it reaches that point, if I
even broach it in the first place, which happens only seldom anymore.
This isn't because I love the music any less, I just haven't been
meeting new people much or talking about my own interests with
anyone. Wow that sounds depressing when I type it out loud, haha. I
just mean everybody in my real life has already heard more than they
care to about TMBG (except for my kids, perhaps, but that's
different).
Bryce
Quinn Collard
> Yeah, I usually abandon the topic before it reaches that point, if I
> even broach it in the first place, which happens only seldom anymore.
You're doing a much better job than me, then. I get into this "some
little thing reminds me of them and I mention it, and then all of a
sudden EVERYTHING STARTS REMINDING ME OF THEM and I just keep
mentioning it long past the point that they've lost interest" thing
which is, rar, annoying, because CLEARLY EVERYONE SHOULD WANT TO HEAR
ENDLESSLY ABOUT TMBG. I've actually had people tell me "Well, yeh, I
was kinda interested in them before, but um, are all the fans like
you? Maybe I'm not anymore..." I get the impression that most people
("normal" people) actually have some control over what they think/talk
about, a concept that just confuses me...
> This isn't because I love the music any less, I just haven't been
> meeting new people much or talking about my own interests with
> anyone. Wow that sounds depressing when I type it out loud, haha.
You're too far into that weird dad vacuum, dude. COME BACK TO THE
NORMAL WORLD WE MISS YOU.
Quinn
(too much yelling in this post...)
Bryce
> I get the impression that most people ("normal" people) actually
> have some control over what they think/talk about, a concept that
> just confuses me...
It's not that conscious, like you're sitting at a control panel behind
your own brain or something, it just kind of happens, which may be
what's confusing about it. Having the trouble you describe is a
pretty good definition of obsession, and it seems like most people get
that way sometimes.
> You're too far into that weird dad vacuum, dude. COME BACK TO THE
> NORMAL WORLD WE MISS YOU.
Ha! Normal world.
> (too much yelling in this post...)
Since you brought it up, I'll go ahead and agree with you. That kind
of thing gets overkilled so easily. Heh, look at me, I'm on usenet,
advising someone not to use allcaps. That oughta qualify me for a
virtual senior citizen discount somewhere.
Bryce
Quinn Collard
> Having the trouble you describe is a
> pretty good definition of obsession,
Oh, I'm so tired of that word. Why does caring about/wanting to talk
about something a lot have to mean you have some kind of big scary-
sounding problem? Why can't something just be the most important thing
to you without it being, like, pathological?
> and it seems like most people get
> that way sometimes.
Then why do people (not that you are right now, just people in
general) have to act like it makes you such a freak?
Quinn
Bryce
> Why does caring about/wanting to talk about something a lot have
> can't something just be the most important thing to you without
> it being, like, pathological?
Well of course, wanting to talk about something doesn't require
obsession. The inability to stop yourself, the loss of control of
your own thoughts, that's what obsession is. And I'm talking layman's
terms, here, not the DSM-IV.
And for most people, most of the time, it doesn't reach pathological
proportions, either in intensity or duration.
> Then why do people (not that you are right now, just people in
> general) have to act like it makes you such a freak?
It's a difficult thing to empathize with an obsession you don't
share. People have enough trouble empathizing with each other over
things they *could* relate to; behavior which to them makes no sense
only fuels people's kneejerk alienation reflex.
I could read your question, then, as "why do people have this kneejerk
alienation reflex?" which is kind of interesting. Is it a
psychological byproduct of industrialization, that we strive to make
each other interchangeable? Does it serve a cultural-evolutionary
purpose, a means of social selection to propagate memes (not the
internet kind, memes in the original sense of "thought equivalent of
genes"). Is it a natural consequence of thought itself, as neural
pathways grow more specialized and entrenched with use, at the expense
of mental flexibility?
Uh, sorry. Tangent much? But what the hell, it's not like there's a
whole lot of other discussion in here anyway.
Bryce
Quinn Collard
> Well of course, wanting to talk about something doesn't require
> obsession. The inability to stop yourself, the loss of control of
> your own thoughts, that's what obsession is. And I'm talking layman's
> terms, here, not the DSM-IV.
Yeh...I suppose. I don't know who exactly I think I'm kidding with
this "oh lalala I'm sooooooo not obsessed with him I'm talking about
him nonfuckingstop cos uh I just happen to feel like it lalala" thing
I've been trying out the last few days anyway when *everybody* knows,
*everybody*, like, people who just met me five minutes ago know. It's
just...when you feel like you'd *want* to be talking/thinking about
whatever it is nonstop anyway even if you *could* stop it, it's hard
to think of it being, yeh, pathological, you know?
> It's a difficult thing to empathize with an obsession you don't
> share. People have enough trouble empathizing with each other over
> things they *could* relate to; behavior which to them makes no sense
> only fuels people's kneejerk alienation reflex.
I love it when people (and this is usually what happens) don't even
make an *attempt* to understand it even if it's not like anything
they've personally gone through before. Whenever somebody says
"Well...just don't think about him!" to me I want to punch them in the
face. Like "Oh, gee, that never occurred to me! Thanks for the helpful
advice!" And then it makes me feel like even more of a freak. I also
get really pissed off when people throw "obsessed" around all
casually, *especially* about them, when they clearly aren't at all,
and more punching-in-the-face-desiring ensues.
> I could read your question, then, as "why do people have this kneejerk
> alienation reflex?" which is kind of interesting. Is it a
> psychological byproduct of industrialization, that we strive to make
> each other interchangeable? Does it serve a cultural-evolutionary
> purpose, a means of social selection to propagate memes (not the
> internet kind, memes in the original sense of "thought equivalent of
> genes"). Is it a natural consequence of thought itself, as neural
> pathways grow more specialized and entrenched with use, at the expense
> of mental flexibility?
Haha see dude this is why the real world needs you, you have such
interesting things to say! I'm somehow guessing you aren't discussing
these things with Riley and Lydia. ;) And yeh, hmm, it is interesting
when you put it that way, I always just kind of chalked it up to "well
people are idiots/assholes, basically." Of your theories I think I
like the cultural-evolutionary idea...like "Well, hmm, *this* is not
supposed to be mixed in to the genepool, let's avoid *that*" (I mean
not that I think you're saying I'm defective or something, but). And
yeh I think people just...*have* the capacity to be empathetic but
just can't be bothered, you know?
> Uh, sorry. Tangent much? But what the hell, it's not like there's a
> whole lot of other discussion in here anyway.
I know right, where the hell did everybody go? I was gone for a little
while and when I came back like 3/4 of the regulars had disappeared
for no apparent reason. It makes me saaaaaaaaad. But oh well *we're*
still here being all awesome.
q.