aquabats=immature morons?
donald burke
a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those
sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it
doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm
not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty
strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the
show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk
them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty
well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be
against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to
expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in
aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position
yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very
immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if
any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to
shed further light on the subject.
--
-Donald Burke
karma
I heard somewhere that the aquabats were mormons. Anyone know if that's
true?
-tony
SHARPOWER
>a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
>nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those
>sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it
>doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm
>not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty
>strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the
>show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk
>them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty
>well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be
>against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to
>expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in
>aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position
>yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very
>immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if
>any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to
>shed further light on the subject.
>
>
>
>--
>-Donald Burke
arent they mormon? seriously
cheers,
Cameron
Morgan Coe
>
> arent they mormon? seriously
> cheers,
> Cameron
I think the correct answer is actually "c) trying to be funny". Get it?
"Aquabania"? Ha!
Morgan.
--
"Bad judgment is still judgment!"
Crusher Joe
Rufus Howe
donald burke wrote in message <3478E8...@erols.com>...
>a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
>nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those
>sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it
>doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm
>not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty
>strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the
>show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk
>them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty
>well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be
>against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to
>expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in
>aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position
>yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very
>immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if
>any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to
>shed further light on the subject.
>
>
>
>--
>-Donald Burke
On their new cd they thank "our heavenly father" in the credits.
That might be a clue.
donald burke
Morgan Coe wrote:
>
> SHARPOWER wrote:
> >
> > >a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
> > >nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those
> > >sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it
> > >doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm
> > >not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty
> > >strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the
> > >show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk
> > >them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty
> > >well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be
> > >against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to
> > >expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in
> > >aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position
> > >yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very
> > >immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if
> > >any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to
> > >shed further light on the subject.
> > >
> >
> > arent they mormon? seriously
> > cheers,
> > Cameron
>
> I think the correct answer is actually "c) trying to be funny". Get it?
> "Aquabania"? Ha!
>
> Morgan.
> --
> "Bad judgment is still judgment!"
>
> Crusher Joe
i was just turned off by the way they used "humor" to sidestep like all
the questions directed to them. i think if someone really had a deep
belief, they would want to talk about it in the hope of convincing
others. the aquabats just seemed to be overwhelmed by th ereal world
--
-Donald Burke
Sergeant, 2-Tone Army
ModFun
hint-
check if they ever play on sundays, and you shall see...
Simpaired
NO.
they're just having some good, clean fun, my friend.
MiKE
- mike -
<a href="http://members.aol.com/Mgl2/MIKE.html">MIKE's SKA PAGE</A>
check these guys out: <a
href="http://members.aol.com/Simpaired">skam-impaired</A>
Jess Q Hill
SHARPOWER wrote:
>
> >a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
> >nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those
> >sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it
> >doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm
> >not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty
> >strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the
> >show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk
> >them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty
> >well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be
> >against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to
> >expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in
> >aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position
> >yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very
> >immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if
> >any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to
> >shed further light on the subject.
> >
> >
> >
> >-Donald Burke
>
> arent they mormon? seriously
> cheers,
> Cameron
five Iron Frenzy or The Supertones, for example. good music, even if
they do thank the lord.
ANDY ROGERS
-> From: Jess Q Hill <gil...@ecst.csuchico.edu>
-> Organization: Sierra-Net
->
-> SHARPOWER wrote:
-> >
-> > >a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a >
-> >nationally syndicated radio show called "loveline". it is one of those >
-> >sex talk radio shows, but i like it because its really funny and it >
-> >doesn't get all mushy. anyway, the aquabats were the guests. now, i'm >
-> >not sure if you know, but appaarantly the aquabats have some pretty >
-> >strong christian beliefs. they were offended by the contents of the >
-> >show, and they left. during a commercial, the hosts managed to talk >
-> >them into coming back. i thought the hosts handled the situation pretty >
-> >well. whenever something came up that they thought the aquabats might be >
-> >against (premarital sex, abortion, etc.), they gave them a chance to >
-> >expalin their beliefs. all they said was stupid stuff about how "in >
-> >aquabania we don't have these problems" and they didn't have a position >
-> >yet. i thought the way they sidestepped these questions was very >
-> >immature and silly. i was wondering if anybody else heard this or if >
-> >any one has had direct experience with the band that would be able to >
-> >shed further light on the subject.
-> > >
-> > >
-> > >
-> > >--
-> > >-Donald Burke
-> >
-> > arent they mormon? seriously
-> > cheers,
-> > Cameron
-> there is nothing wrong with a ska band that has religious beliefs. Take
-> five Iron Frenzy or The Supertones, for example. good music, even if they
-> do thank the lord.
I think that a couple of the Aquabats might be mormon. I have a friend
that met one of them (I think) at a mormon missionary training center.
The difference between the Aquabats and Five Iorn Frenzy, and the
Supertones is that the Aquabats dont preach in their music. They sing about all
sorts of silly crap, Martain Girl, Powdered Milk Man, Idiot Box, ect. I wouldnt
label the Aquabats music as religeous. They might have personal beleifs that
were contradictory from those of the callers, but more power to them for
standing firm on them. As for being immature morons, thats what makes them so
great!
-Andy Rogers
Simpaired
i'm seein' the aquabats in 2 weeks. it's going to be NUTS!
mike
Emily
Jess Q Hill wrote:
>
> SHARPOWER wrote:
> >
> > >a couple of weeks ago, i heard the aquabats make an appearance on a
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >-Donald Burke
> >
> > arent they mormon? seriously
> > cheers,
> > Cameron
I disagree with that. I went to see the supertones a while ago and their
music was good and all, but they stopped in the middle of their set to
preach about god. And they did it for like 30 minutes and everyone was
all putting their hands in the air and shit and there's nothing wrong
with what a band believes but, that doesn't mean they should preach to
people who just want to dance to the music. It's nice they're christian
but me and my athiest friends don't wanna pay 10 bucks to be preached to
about believing the same things as them. Cause that's pointless. A band
needs to keep their religous beliefs and music seperate unless they're
in a church. I don't mind them singing about god but it was just dumb
when they stopped and started preaching to us. Ok, bye.
Emily
rb...@ix.netcom.com
The Aquabats are like the KISS of ska. What they lack in musical talent
they make up for in pyrotechnics. When I saw them on November 6th with
Goldfinger, The Toasters{awesome} and Bim Skala Bim they set off bottle
rockets and threw out glowsticks, which broke apart and got on
everyone's clothes. The lead singer says dude, awesome, groovy and
radical alot.
Crystal Stark
I think it is great that there are Christian ska bands. And I also think it
is alright for the supertones and such to talk about their beliefs during a
concert. Afterall they are Christian music, what do you expect? But I think
the Aquabats' answers were pretty lame. It's like they were too afraid to
say they believe in God, so they came at with those cop-out answers. What
kind of impression did they think that would make? I just hope they weren't
trying to impress people with their wits.
Emily <tvo...@mich.com> wrote in article <348224...@mich.com>...
Morgan Coe
Emily wrote:
> I disagree with that. I went to see the supertones a while ago and their
> music was good and all, but they stopped in the middle of their set to
> preach about god. And they did it for like 30 minutes and everyone was
> all putting their hands in the air and shit and there's nothing wrong
> with what a band believes but, that doesn't mean they should preach to
> people who just want to dance to the music. It's nice they're christian
> but me and my athiest friends don't wanna pay 10 bucks to be preached to
> about believing the same things as them. Cause that's pointless. A band
> needs to keep their religous beliefs and music seperate unless they're
> in a church. I don't mind them singing about god but it was just dumb
> when they stopped and started preaching to us. Ok, bye.
>
> Emily
The band can do whatever they want. If you don't like it, don't go see them. If you
think it was "dumb" that they spent half of their set trying to convert the crowd,
think about how "dumb" it was that you paid them for the privilege of being there.
David Schuttenberg
>
> I disagree with that. I went to see the supertones a while ago and their
> music was good and all, but they stopped in the middle of their set to
> preach about god. And they did it for like 30 minutes and everyone was
> all putting their hands in the air and shit and there's nothing wrong
> with what a band believes but, that doesn't mean they should preach to
> people who just want to dance to the music. It's nice they're christian
> but me and my athiest friends don't wanna pay 10 bucks to be preached to
> about believing the same things as them. Cause that's pointless. A band
> needs to keep their religous beliefs and music seperate unless they're
> in a church. I don't mind them singing about god but it was just dumb
> when they stopped and started preaching to us. Ok, bye.
>
> Emily
And I am going to have todisagree with THAT. I am an agnostic and
nothing irritates me more than to be preached at. BUT, when a band has
beliefs in that realm, and generally speaking christians do their best,
by biblical law to spread their word, what better platform to do gods
work than on stage. We have the freedom to speak what we please in this
country, and we have the freedom of anf from religion. The show featured
them, if you didn't want to hear it, you didn't have to pay. I know it
limits your ability to hear the MUSIC you want to hear, but it also
sends a message to them that you arent going to pay to be preached at.
Or, you can leave the room for their litle group prayer nonsense and
return when the real reason you go to se a band comes back; the music. I
did this when I saw 5 Iron Frenzy, and had no problem. They said "lets
pray" and I said, "Bartender, I'll have another....amen."
David Schuttenberg
Daves Big Deluxe
Let's do lunch!
A very good point.....I know the supertones and do have christian
beliefs....BUT I don'nt want to be preached at , at a concert, even
though I may have the same beliefs......but that's why I avoid seeing
Christian bands alltogether....I only used to see the supertones when
they were called Saved and played in peoples backyards....no way I'd
pay money to see em now....especially not with more than 100
people...but yeah if you dont' like the preaching ....take a beer or
piss break...
donald burke
i see nothing wrong with a band having religous beliefs. in fact, i
find it kind of refreshing. what a was talking about was a specific
instance in which i felt these beliefs could and should have been
expressed, but instead the aquabats degressed to childish humor.
Zeus
It is their right to sing about whatever they damn well please. They bill
themselves as a Christian ska band. If you don't want to be preached to,
don't go.
LTJSux
What did you expect from the Aquabats ? They are a band known for their
costumes and props , not their music.. to think that they would actually
have deep philosophical answers to their beliefs would be out of norm
considering their lack of musical talent. Boy... but they sure make you
laugh don't they... guess thats whats important anyways...
Crystal Stark wrote in message <01bcfe25$5585ac00$094b60ce@default>...
>I think it is great that there are Christian ska bands. And I also think it
>is alright for the supertones and such to talk about their beliefs during a
>concert. Afterall they are Christian music, what do you expect? But I think
>the Aquabats' answers were pretty lame. It's like they were too afraid to
>say they believe in God, so they came at with those cop-out answers. What
>kind of impression did they think that would make? I just hope they weren't
>trying to impress people with their wits.
>
>Emily <tvo...@mich.com> wrote in article <348224...@mich.com>...
David Schuttenberg
> i see nothing wrong with a band having religous beliefs. in fact, i
> find it kind of refreshing. what a was talking about was a specific
> instance in which i felt these beliefs could and should have been
> expressed, but instead the aquabats degressed to childish humor.
I agree. Based on your description, it sounds to me that Th Aquabats are
afraid to affiliate with a religious organization. What do you guys
think? Might hurt record sales???
BD
Simpaired
>The lead singer says dude, awesome, groovy and radical alot.
groovy.
mike
Chadd VanZanten
The skinny on the Aquabats:
This is not insider, horse's mouth information, but I've seen them play
quite a few times, I've been listening to them since the first CD and
I've been introduced to about half of them (excluding the new members)
through mutual friends. So, for what it's worth...
Religion
The Aquabats should not be classified as a Christian band. They don't
sing about religion and they don't preach. They have a general "be cool"
philosophy which includes some low-intensity commentary on non-violence,
tolerance and that sort of thing, but most ska bands do.
Several of them are members of the LDS Church, a religion erroneously
called The Mormons. I can't speak for what the Aquabats believe in
seperately or collectively, but LDS people have a number of conservative
beliefs. They believe in God and Christ and are generally aligned with
Christian values. They abstain from drugs, alcohol, tobacco and coffee
(some don't even drink Cola). They have a very strict moral code which
excludes premarital sex, masterbation, pornography, cursing, etc. There
are other beliefs, but back to the 'bats...
They Aquabats, at their shows and on their CDs, will slip in small
inside LDS jokes, but I won't go into those. If you're LDS, you get em,
if you're not, and you really wanna know, e-mail me or ask someone you
know who is LDS.
Behavior
They're crazy. They have Karate fights on stage, they make the audience
sit down "Indian style" and tell stories. They bombard the crowd with
everything from fried chicken to marshmallows to styrofoam packing
material. They shoot off fireworks and smoke machines and the lead
singer shoots flaming vodka from his mouth using a tiki torch. Don't ask
me how he reconciles this with his religion. I don't really care.
They are extremely cool, easy-going and not big-headed at all. They
sometimes join the crowd while their warm-up bands are playing (no one
knows 'em cuz of their disguises, y'see). They sign autographs and stuff
when they can. They discourage moshing but they don't get preachy about
it.
They "act" the part of super heros on stage, in other words, they act as
if they really are super hero Aquabats, which explains why on the
aforementioned talk show they said stuff like, "We don't have those
problems in Aquabania." Christian struts around and does super hero talk
that reminds me of Adam West (the old TV Batman) or the Superfriends
cartoon Superman.
Music
A friend of mine describes it as Devo meets Oingo Boingo meets ska.
That's pretty good, IMO, but they're more than just influences. There is
definitely a distinct sound. They don't play SUPER well at shows, but
they sound fairly tight on their recordings. And besides, at shows, the
crowd is so into it that you don't really notice if they drop a beat
here or there.
They sing about really off the-wall-stuff; I'm pretty sure that they
don't have a single song that is 100% serious. There are some serious
messages (non-violence, tolerance, as mentioned above), but all their
songs are humorous (or they try to be -- some people say their just
dumb).
Some of the subject matter includes: a love affair with an alien, a repo
man who only reposesses borrowed CDs, an army of 2-Tone skanking robots,
a giant tarantuala, a 2 headed man-eating cat, a super villain whose
secret weapon is powdered milk, and Star Wars action figures.
Other info:
They have an affinity for Utah, reportedly because they have relatives
here and they can stay for free when touring. The promotional tour for
the new CD opened in Salt Lake City at Bricks (great show, btw). At the
tour, the lead singer's (his name is Christian) mom, dad and sister sold
the merch and CDs.
They have played in a lot of different and obscure places and seem to
have the philosophy that wherever people wanna see em, they'll go as
long as they get a little money. I saw them in Pocatella, Idaho in a
building owned by the local AA chapter with a crowd of maybe (MAYBE) 175
people. They set the wood floor on fire with a smoke bomb. I have a
strong feeling they didn't get much out of that show.
Rumor/unsubstantiated info: A couple of them are returned LDS
missionaries, so yeah, any number of people would know them from the LDS
Missionary Training Center.
Rumor/unsubstantiated info: Even after 3 or 4 years of performing, they
don't take their music seriously. Much of the money they've made from
their first CD and their concerts went into costumes, props, and general
fun.
That's about all I can think of. Hope it helps someone. Definitely go
see them, it's worth it just to see the craziness.
Okay then,
Chadd
Darren Pakravan
Dave, since you're in a band, don't you think it might not be he
smartest idea to accuse another band of what a LOT of people would
consider "selling out" or at least crass commercialism (well, maybe not
THAT crass). They've been doing that "We're crusaders from the
uncharted island of Aquabania" schtick fro years in interviews in mags
like Transworld or Heckler (whose interview w/ them began when one of
the editors ran into them in a convenience store (or so the article
said)). It's nothing new, it's part of their act, and I don't think
their excessive joking is a cover for a fear of their religion hurting
record sales.
--
Darren Pakravan
eldo...@nwu.edu
***this is my real email***
http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/
Half-Assed Radio: http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/halfass.htm
David Schuttenberg
Good point, but I feel that theres a time to kill an act (as we all know
it is) and address some issues. The Aquabats are zany as hell, I love
their shows, though I won't pack into a club to see em anymore, I
prefer to breathe.
I just think behavior like that sounds a tad like Goldenvoice spreading
their wings and asking the band to not get into politics and religion
because the "record buying public doesn't want to hear it." I say
Bollocks to that. If I was a mormon or christian or pro life or pro
choice or whatever I had strong feelings about and I was asked my views
on something. Id jump at the chance to voice my opinion.
I dig the aquabats schtick. I also think its a large part of why they
are so popular now. I just think it gets old after a little while...
I also was just a tad curious what other people felt about it. My
opinions notwithstanding, I think it's not too far a stretch to imagine
people not standing up for what they believe in because they don't want
to be shunned by hte masses, or on a more sinister level, they don't
want to jump off the gravy train.
To contradict myself a little, I can also understand that the Aquabats
might not want to have religion or politics stands for a friggin thing
in their music, and might not want to be judged based on thier moral
beliefs. So who the hell knows? Thanks for makin me think about it
though. Now Im thoroughly undecided... heh.
David Schuttenberg
Dave's Big Deluxe
donald burke
Crystal Stark wrote:
>
> I think it is great that there are Christian ska bands. And I also think it
> is alright for the supertones and such to talk about their beliefs during a
> concert. Afterall they are Christian music, what do you expect? But I think
> the Aquabats' answers were pretty lame. It's like they were too afraid to
> say they believe in God, so they came at with those cop-out answers. What
> kind of impression did they think that would make? I just hope they weren't
> trying to impress people with their wits.
that is exactly what i was trying to say. thank you for expressing it
so well.
Dan Ettorre
That is the reason there ARE CHRISTIAN BANDS! To bring people to Christ! Othewis
there would be no point in singing about God! a band DEFINATLY should not keep
their beliefs and music separate, If you dont wanna go to a concert where people
are gonna worship the one, true God, then dont go to Christian concerts. Thanks
for lisning.
-Dan aka RudeBoy
sXe 4 life, Christ forever.
Don Boyer
"LTJSux" <y...@suck.com> wrote:
>What did you expect from the Aquabats ? They are a band known for their
>costumes and props , not their music.. to think that they would actually
>have deep philosophical answers to their beliefs would be out of norm
>considering their lack of musical talent. Boy... but they sure make you
>laugh don't they... guess thats whats important anyways...
>
>
>
>Crystal Stark wrote in message <01bcfe25$5585ac00$094b60ce@default>...
>>I think it is great that there are Christian ska bands. And I also think it
>>is alright for the supertones and such to talk about their beliefs during a
>>concert. Afterall they are Christian music, what do you expect? But I think
>>the Aquabats' answers were pretty lame. It's like they were too afraid to
>>say they believe in God, so they came at with those cop-out answers. What
>>kind of impression did they think that would make? I just hope they weren't
>>trying to impress people with their wits.
>>
>>Emily <tvo...@mich.com> wrote in article <348224...@mich.com>...
I just recently saw the aquabats here in Atlanta with reel big fish
and I just really dont get all of this fuss you guys are making. I
have been an Aquabat fan since I first recieved a copy of "return of"
I can understand complaining about someone such as supertones who sing
only about their christian beliefs. But when it comes to aquabats ,
whats all the fuss about. The only time they even remotely express
their beliefs is in there thanx to there heavenly father. At the show
there was nothing in this manner! After all this is just great music.
Whats to fuss about? whos politically correct... It seems like noone
makes a deal out of beliefs no matter how fucked up they are ( most
people would defend there right till the end) but as soon as
christianity is in the picture everyone jumps onto a big " pressing
your values on me " trip. I meen if you found something that you felt
made you happy, wouldnt you want to tell others about it. I guess all
I'm trying to say is... I heard them, I liked them. I saw them, and
liked them. I met them, and liked them. Its music which I like to
listen to and thats the way it is.
Skawalker9
>only about their christian beliefs. But when it comes to aquabats ,
>whats all the fuss about. The only time they even remotely express
>their beliefs is in there thanx to there heavenly father. At the show
>there was nothing in this manner! After all this is just great music.
>Whats to fuss about? whos politically correct... It seems like noone
>makes a deal out of beliefs no matter how fucked up they are ( most
>people would defend there right till the end) but as soon as
>christianity is in the picture everyone jumps onto a big " pressing
>your values on me " trip. I meen if you found something that you felt
>made you happy, wouldnt you want to tell others about it. I guess all
>I'm trying to say is... I heard them, I liked them. I saw them, and
>liked them. I met them, and liked them. Its music which I like to
>listen to and thats the way it is.
>
>
>
band has a right to put and express any message (barring libelous of course),
you just can choose not to listen to it.
chill,
Skawalker
****************************************************
* The Mos Eisley Cantina Skansemble *
*Force Driven Ska-core for the Entire Galaxy*
****************************************************
Dave
> whats all the fuss about. The only time they even remotely express
> their beliefs is in there thanx to there heavenly father. At the show
> there was nothing in this manner! After all this is just great music.
> Whats to fuss about? whos politically correct... It seems like noone
> makes a deal out of beliefs no matter how fucked up they are ( most
> people would defend there right till the end) but as soon as
> christianity is in the picture everyone jumps onto a big " pressing
> your values on me " trip. I meen if you found something that you felt
> made you happy, wouldnt you want to tell others about it. I guess all
> I'm trying to say is... I heard them, I liked them. I saw them, and
> liked them. I met them, and liked them. Its music which I like to
> listen to and thats the way it is.
How can you complain about the Supertones singing about their beliefs?
If you don't like it, then don't go to the show! That's what they do!
I mean, come on! The Constitution permits freedom of assembly! That
doesn't mean you HAVE to assemble! So lay off...
(nothing personal intended)
Dave Bowman