Band Jokes
dave kincade
Q: What you call a guy who hangs around musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What do you call guys who hang around with a drummer?
A: Horn Players.
Skava Nagila
What did the drummer get on the SAT?
drool!
Dizzy bon
q: what's the first thing a canadian jazz musician learns?
a: take the train, eh?
q: how do you get two alto saxophones in tune?
a: shoot one of them
guitar and bass players are the meanest in the business - they always have
their hands around a neck ....
q: how can you tell if a stage is level?
a: there's drool coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
<groan>
dance on!
- pasha
Olke
awright now, lemme join in...
q: what's the difference between a clarinet and a bassoon?
a: a bassoon burns longer
q: why doesn't one kiss a french horn player?
a: because they always end up sticking their hand up your butt...
q: what's the difference between a soprano and a porsche?
a: most musicians have never been in a porsche.
a violinist goes to his entrance exam at oberlin. the conductor first
asks, "how do you open the case?". the violinist opens easily. "great!"
says the conductor. "now, rosin up the bow". the violinist does this
easily as well. "how do you tune your instrument?" says the conductor.
"oh! i know this! that's when all the little knobs are lined up the same
way, right?"
accellerondo: what happens when a drummer has to keep a steady beat.
i've got more...
evan
Todd Q. Purple
q: what does a musician say when he comes to your door?
a: Dominoes. You order a pizza?
man, my old guitar teacher had a million bad music jokes.
peace
Todd Purple
--
ICQ Number : 10062632
"Way-O !! I can't seem to find the words to tell you
what I have to say. You've been locked inside all day."
- Kevin Herlin, Big Lick
"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly."
"Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonaise."
-Stan and Cartman
bfu...@cse.ucsc.edu
the bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.
Michael Caputo
: q: what's the first thing a canadian jazz musician learns?
: a: take the train, eh?
Hee hee hee hee hee hee...! I love it!
Mike C
+====================================+===================================+
| Perhaps, if I am very lucky, | If you define cowardice as |
| the feeble efforts of my lifetime | running away at the first sign |
| will someday be noticed, and maybe,| of danger, screaming and tripping |
| in some small way, they will be | and begging for mercy, then yes, |
| aknowledged as the greatest works | Mister Brave man, I guess I am a |
| of genius ever created by man. | Coward. |
+====================================+===================================+
Trombone Players do it in 7 positions.
__________/|
(_|__|_____\|________
|_|_____________)
OffBeat51
>man, my old guitar teacher had a million bad music jokes.
>
>
i bet he didn't tell the stupid mozart/decomposing joke every flippin day like
my teacher!! nobody even laughed, but he still told it over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over ane over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over **RIP TOMMY MCCOOK** and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and oever and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over....
Darren Pakravan
bfu...@cse.ucsc.edu wrote:
> what's the difference between a ska band and a bull?
>
> the bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.
Uh, but most ska bands have the horns up front....That joke is what
Dicky says about the Bosstones...they keep the horns in the back (God
knows why...)
--
Ska FAQ: http://twillis.com/ska/faq/
--
Darren Pakravan
eldo...@nwu.edu
***this is my real email***
http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/
Half-Assed Radio: http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/halfass.htm
JeddoKorn
>
>: q: what's the first thing a canadian jazz musician learns?
>: a: take the train, eh?
>
>
Why do trombone players make better lovers?
Seven positions, need i say more...
A Jew, an Italian, and a Mormon walk into a ..... no maybe some other time.
ahh... i know...
Geno Snyder, Caputo, and Dana walk into a bar and pull up a stool. (for the
joke's sake, let's pretend Caputo isn't a lad) After several rounds of whole
milk, Mike gets a little nutty and tells the bar that he's a leprachaun and
will grant anyone three wishes if they give up their date and go home with him.
Meanwhile, Dana and Geno are getting quite acquainted, and Super Sean busts
through the door, with Dave Segal's cleanly sliced head under his arm. Caputo
shits his pants, while sitting on his new date's lap, Dana runs to the door,
slips on pints glass, rolls across the room cartoon style (on the glass), and
goes past Sean strait out the door. Then a mushroom walks into the bar sits
down and orders a drink. The bartender sayd , "Sorry, we don't serve your kind
here." The mushroom, looking quite discontent, returns, "Oh come on.... I'm a
fun guy!!"
how's that for a waste of time.... I have no finals today!!!
-jed
The t-bone tootin Ska Blazer
http://astro.temple.edu/~skablazr/skablazers
Support your local scene dammit!!
dmo...@genzyme.com
In article <35515D...@fuckspam.com>,
Darren Pakravan <sho...@fuckspam.com> wrote:
>
> bfu...@cse.ucsc.edu wrote:
> > what's the difference between a ska band and a bull?
> >
> > the bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.
>
> Uh, but most ska bands have the horns up front....That joke is what
> Dicky says about the Bosstones...they keep the horns in the back (God
> knows why...)
Two reasons, I'd say:
1) They play delicate, easily-destroyed instruments which cost a lot of
money. With the crowd they draw at their shows, they run the risk of being
belted by flying feet, fists, heads, etc. In addition to damage to their
horns, they've got to worry about hurting their lips. This can sideline a
horn player for a long time;
2) Though they are good horn players, they suffer from the Third Wave-three
horns in unison curse, and therefore, belong in the back. If their parts were
more interesting/intricate, I'd be more interested in seeing them. Goes with
the territory... Wait - I take that back. I actually heard - GOD FORBID - on
their latest album - HORN HARMONIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't typpp haffing
stroke.eee...OHJIASDFASDAKL0-I[PTWH]--0HWT-WHT
]J
WROT[
HWRO[
> --
> Ska FAQ: http://twillis.com/ska/faq/
> --
> Darren Pakravan
> eldo...@nwu.edu
> ***this is my real email***
> http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/
> Half-Assed Radio: http://pubweb.nwu.edu/~dcp210/halfass.htm
>
Cheers,
Dtrain
(Our horns are in front, and we have multiple assholes!)
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading
Todd Q. Purple
Now THAT is a good joke.
Aaron
Q:-Whatta' you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A:-Homeless!
Q:-How many prog rock guitar players does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?
A:-Ten. One to actually do it, and nine to stand around bitching about
how they did it first, only in a completely different way.
Q:-How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:-Isn't there a roadie for that?
Q:-How do you embarrass a guitar player?
A:-Put sheet music in front of him.
Q:-How do you make a guitar player stop playing?
A:-Put notes on the sheet music.
And finally, the classic...
Q:-How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:-Two. One to drop it, and some asshole n a suit to jump around yelling
"pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!"
--
Aaron Campeau
Geetar, Feedback, and Vocals, Good Clean Fun
http://www.cco.net/campeau/gcf/
Michael Caputo
Darren Pakravan (sho...@fuckspam.com) wrote:
: bfu...@cse.ucsc.edu wrote:
: > what's the difference between a ska band and a bull?
: >
: > the bull has the horns in front and the asshole in back.
Hey retard, the correct joke is "what is the difference between an
orchestra and a bull? the bull has the horns in the front and the asshole
in the back." This is referring to a conductor. Your joke makes no
sense.
but my contribution:
q: what is the difference between a viola player and an onion?
a: people cry when they cut up an onion.
+========================================================================+
| Michael Caputo |
| e-mail: juj...@glazunov.dc.yale.edu |
| webpage: http://glazunov.dc.yale.edu/~jujube |
NickHurl1
Jed wrote:
>Why do trombone players make better lovers?
>Seven positions, need i say more...
>
>
Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions) making a
total of 38! Aw yeah...
NWH
NickHurl1
Aaron wrote:
>Q:-How do you embarrass a guitar player?
>A:-Put sheet music in front of him.
>
>Q:-How do you make a guitar player stop playing?
>A:-Put notes on the sheet music.
>
>
Hey! That's insulting to me... I play guitar, and I can read sheet music. Even
so, those are good jokes.
NWH
HeyHepCat
>Geno Snyder, Caputo, and Dana walk into a bar and pull up a stool. (for the
>joke's sake, let's pretend Caputo isn't a lad) After several rounds of whole
>milk, Mike gets a little nutty and tells the bar that he's a leprachaun and
>will grant anyone three wishes if they give up their date and go home with
>him.
>Meanwhile, Dana and Geno are getting quite acquainted, and Super Sean busts
>through the door, with Dave Segal's cleanly sliced head under his arm. Caputo
>shits his pants, while sitting on his new date's lap, Dana runs to the door,
>slips on pints glass, rolls across the room cartoon style (on the glass), and
>goes past Sean strait out the door. Then a mushroom walks into the bar sits
>down and orders a drink. The bartender sayd , "Sorry, we don't serve your
>kind
>here." The mushroom, looking quite discontent, returns, "Oh come on.... I'm a
>fun guy!!"
That was a very cute story Jed. For everyone's sake I will spare them the "A
string walks into a bar joke."
Here's my musician joke:
q: How many avant garde jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
a: Forget the changes man, just play.
--Dana B.
Dana Lynn Bitetti
Bryn Mawr College '00
Linguistics
HeyH...@aol.com or dbit...@brynmawr.edu
ICQ# 9435354
Get Hep! http://GetHep.high-speed.com
"Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo" --Virgil
NickHurl1
Michael Caputo wrote:
>but my contribution:
>
>q: what is the difference between a viola player and an onion?
>a: people cry when they cut up an onion.
>
>
That's the best one I've heard yet... I haven't been able to figure out a use
for viola players in 8 years!
NWH
Aaron
that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
Zoot Suit
RE: Re: Band Jokes
BY: "Skava Nagila" <jimenez.does.not.eat.spam.@mi
what do you call a musician who's just broken up with his girlfriend?
homeless.
\\\|///
\\ - - //
( O O )
---------------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo--------------------------
Barrel of Monkeys BBS * 301.622.0281 * WWIV 4.24a Modded * Keep BBSing Alive!
-------------------- .oooO-- Oooo. -------------------------
( ) ( )
\ ( ) /
\_) (_/
Olke
cymbal: a percussion instrument meant to be dropped on the floor
during any given solo or pianissimo (sp?) part.
evan
Darren Pakravan
HeyHepCat wrote:
>
> >Geno Snyder, Caputo, and Dana walk into a bar and pull up a stool. (for the
> >joke's sake, let's pretend Caputo isn't a lad) After several rounds of whole
> >milk, Mike gets a little nutty and tells the bar that he's a leprachaun and
> >will grant anyone three wishes if they give up their date and go home with
> >him.
> >Meanwhile, Dana and Geno are getting quite acquainted, and Super Sean busts
> >through the door, with Dave Segal's cleanly sliced head under his arm. Caputo
> >shits his pants, while sitting on his new date's lap, Dana runs to the door,
> >slips on pints glass, rolls across the room cartoon style (on the glass), and
> >goes past Sean strait out the door. Then a mushroom walks into the bar sits
> >down and orders a drink. The bartender sayd , "Sorry, we don't serve your
> >kind
> >here." The mushroom, looking quite discontent, returns, "Oh come on.... I'm a
> >fun guy!!"
>
> That was a very cute story Jed. For everyone's sake I will spare them the "A
> string walks into a bar joke."
>
> Here's my musician joke:
>
> q: How many avant garde jazz musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
> a: Forget the changes man, just play.
>
> --Dana B.
>
A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!
NickHurl1
Aaron wrote:
>NickHurl1 wrote:
>>
>> Jed wrote:
>> >Why do trombone players make better lovers?
>> >Seven positions, need i say more...
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions) making
>a
>> total of 38! Aw yeah...
>>
>> NWH
>Well, I play geetar, and it 24 frets, and I play bass, that has 20, so
>that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
Damn, Aaron... you win. If anyone else has more positions than you, I'd be
surprised. Until I get a bass, that is.
NWH
Aaron
If you buy a bass, I'll get a double neck guitar. That's 44 positions
right there!
Lawlessst
ok, my turn...A tourist and a guide walk into the bush one night on safari.
Late that night as they are camping, the two hear loud drums in the distance.
The tourist, never having experienced bush life, asks the guide, "WHat are
those drums? do we have anything to be afraid of?" The guide casually responds,
"No worries, as long as we hear the drums, there is nothing to worry about."
The next night they hear the drums again. "Are you sure we have nothing to
fear?" "As Long as we hear the drums no worries." The next night as they are
setting up camp, the drums start again; however, after a short period of time
the drums cease. The tourist, scared as hell turns to the guide and says, "What
now?" The guide responds, "Oh shit, Bass solo." Haha.
matt
BEP
Scratchie wrote:
>
> I've always preferred this one as:
>
> q: What does it mean when there's drool coming out of both sides
> of the drummers/guitarists/bassist's mouth?
> a: The stage is level.
>
> By the way, the ultimate list of instrument jokes can be found at
> http://www.mit.edu/people/jcb/jokes/ with a special page devoted to the
> viola at http://www.mit.edu/people/jcb/jokes/viola.html .
>
> --Art
Q: How do you know that a band is going to break up?
A: The drummer says, "hey guys, I've got a great idea for a song".
BEP
(My drummer always hated that one, heh-heh)
NickHurl1
>NickHurl1 wrote:
>>
>> Aaron wrote:
>> >NickHurl1 wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Jed wrote:
>> >> >Why do trombone players make better lovers?
>> >> >Seven positions, need i say more...
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >>
>> >> Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions)
>making
>> >a
>> >> total of 38! Aw yeah...
>> >>
>> >> NWH
>> >Well, I play geetar, and it 24 frets, and I play bass, that has 20, so
>> >that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
>>
>> Damn, Aaron... you win. If anyone else has more positions than you, I'd be
>> surprised. Until I get a bass, that is.
>>
>> NWH
>
>If you buy a bass, I'll get a double neck guitar. That's 44 positions
>right there!
OK, fine, then I'll just have to get a double neck guitar, too... but you
shouldn't worry about me getting a bass for a while... I don't have much money.
Until then, I'm content with second place (38 positions still isn't bad)
NWH
Tim Kropkowski
Well, I play the piano, which has 88 positions... So I have you all beat!
HAH!
Aaron wrote in message <355262...@cco.net>...
>NickHurl1 wrote:
>>
>> Aaron wrote:
>> >NickHurl1 wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Jed wrote:
>> >> >Why do trombone players make better lovers?
>> >> >Seven positions, need i say more...
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >>
>> >> Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions)
making
>> >a
>> >> total of 38! Aw yeah...
>> >>
>> >> NWH
>> >Well, I play geetar, and it 24 frets, and I play bass, that has 20, so
>> >that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
>>
>> Damn, Aaron... you win. If anyone else has more positions than you, I'd
be
>> surprised. Until I get a bass, that is.
>>
>> NWH
>
>If you buy a bass, I'll get a double neck guitar. That's 44 positions
>right there!
Dizzy bon
>Well, I play the piano, which has 88 positions... So I have you all beat!
>HAH!
oh please. all you string players (including the piano players) speaking of all
the positions you have... only the slide trombone has "positions" ... everyone
else has "fingerings" .. and whatever the hell the piano has (don't tell me you
play "fifth position Eb" [i don't know if that's possible on a trombone, but as
an example] on the piano....?)
dance on!
- pasha
Darren Pakravan
Wouldn't a trumpet/cornet/valve trombone have 8 positions...3 valves,
open or closed for each gives two positions for each. 2*2*2=8, right?
Some are probably redundant (I'm not a horn player, so don't blame me)
Michael Caputo
: Wouldn't a trumpet/cornet/valve trombone have 8 positions...3 valves,
: open or closed for each gives two positions for each. 2*2*2=8, right?
: Some are probably redundant (I'm not a horn player, so don't blame me)
: --
: Ska FAQ: http://twillis.com/ska/faq/
: --
: Darren Pakravan
Nope. I've been meaning to put my two cents in here for a while. A
trombone is the only instrument that has "positions", as in "positions on
the slide". A trumpet or other valved instruments have fingerings.
A trombone with an F Attachment has 13 positions.
All this "I play the guitar, I do it in more positions" stuff is
crap...the ultimat "guitar players do it..." is
"guitar players do it with a power chord" or
"guitar players do it with a whammy bar"
(both mike caputo originals)
-Mike Caputo
NickHurl1
Pasha wrote:
>>Well, I play the piano, which has 88 positions... So I have you all beat!
>>HAH!
>
>oh please. all you string players (including the piano players) speaking of
>all
>the positions you have... only the slide trombone has "positions" ...
>everyone
>else has "fingerings" .. and whatever the hell the piano has (don't tell me
>you
>play "fifth position Eb" [i don't know if that's possible on a trombone, but
>as
>an example] on the piano....?)
>
>dance on!
>- pasha
Well, to tell the truth, string instruments DO have positions. Ya see, the
first way you learn to play is called first position, then you start moving
your hand up the fingerboard, so that in second position, your first finger is
where your second finger was in first position, in third position, your first
finger is where your third finger was in first position, and so on... here's a
crappily drawn diagram, using the violin as an example:
1st position:
---1---2-3---4---------- E string
---1---2-3---4---------- A string
---1---2-3---4---------- D string
---1---2-3---4---------- G string
2nd position:
-------1---2-3---4------ E string
-------1---2-3---4------ A string
-------1---2-3---4------ D string
-------1---2-3---4------ G string
3rd position:
---------1---2-3---4---- E string
---------1---2-3---4---- A string
---------1---2-3---4---- D string
---------1---2-3---4---- G string
and so on. On viola, cello, and bass, it works the same as on the violin, but
on guitar, it works a bit differently. First position on guitar is when your
first finger is at the first fret, second position is when your first finger is
at the second fret, and so on. On the piano, however, I don't know if each of
the keys would be considered positions... I always thought they were just keys,
but I don't play, so I don't know how it really works.
NWH
(in 2nd or 3rd place with 38 positions, depending on whether or not you count
the piano)
Eric and Terry Hart
My personal favorite is this:
q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
a: Stick your hand up the bell and play all the wrong notes.
Peter Siegel
NickHurl1 wrote:
> >NickHurl1 wrote:
> >>
> >> Aaron wrote:
> >> >NickHurl1 wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >> Jed wrote:
> >> >> >Why do trombone players make better lovers?
> >> >> >Seven positions, need i say more...
> >> >> >
> >> >> >
> >> >>
> >> >> Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions)
> >making
> >> >a
> >> >> total of 38! Aw yeah...
> >> >>
> >> >> NWH
> >> >Well, I play geetar, and it 24 frets, and I play bass, that has 20, so
> >> >that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
> >>
> >> Damn, Aaron... you win. If anyone else has more positions than you, I'd be
> >> surprised. Until I get a bass, that is.
> >>
> >> NWH
> >
> >If you buy a bass, I'll get a double neck guitar. That's 44 positions
> >right there!
>
> OK, fine, then I'll just have to get a double neck guitar, too... but you
> shouldn't worry about me getting a bass for a while... I don't have much money.
> Until then, I'm content with second place (38 positions still isn't bad)
>
> NWH
Have any of you ever actually gotten laid?
Floyd
Leisure Kings S.C.
Philadelphia PA
JeddoKorn
> Have any of you ever actually gotten laid?
>
>Floyd
>Leisure Kings S.C.
>Philadelphia PA
Tee hee!!
Stinky Boy
Peter Siegel (pe...@roinet.com) wrote:
:
: Have any of you ever actually gotten laid?
:
: Floyd
: Leisure Kings S.C.
: Philadelphia PA
I, for one, KNOW that Jed has gotten laid. ;)
Bryan
Leisure Kings Fun Club
Philadelphia on Delaware
(not Abington)
Frank Stearns
Q: How can you identify a trombonist at a playground?
A: They can't swing and they don't know how to use a slide.
Q: What's the difference between a jazz musician and a bum?
A: Sunglasses.
My jazz musician friend told me these. There were some others about
trombonists that I forgot. I don't know where all the bad feelings
towards their kind come from, but then again I haven't touched my sax in
two years, so I'm not up to date on the horn scene.
NickHurl1
Here's a couple good viola jokes:
Q:What's the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
A:The terrorist has sympathizers
Q:What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
A:No one cries when you chop up the viola
NWH
(who knows from experience that violists can't play worth a damn)
Mdsrulok
What happened when the drummer locked his keys in the car?
he spent 3 hours trying to get the drummer out.
-Brandon
PS- I once saw some boobies.
" I got a lot taller." -Elvis Costello on growing up
Michael Caputo
> Q:What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
> A:No one cries when you chop up the viola
>
I find this to be a great joke... but you have told us the "traditional"
viola/onion joke. It is easy to pimp up to make funnier. Here goes...
q: What's the difference between an onion and a viola player.
a: people cry when they cut up an onion.
It's got a little more misdirection there... (the punchline involves the
onion, not the viola player) Also, I don't have much against the actual
*viola*. It's just some pieces of wood glued together. You need this
joke to imply the murder of a viola player... making the humor flow even
more.
Mike "King of Komedy" Caputo
Chase Peeler
Piano Players make the best girlfriends cuz theres 88 ways to finger them
>>
>> Aaron wrote:
>> >NickHurl1 wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Jed wrote:
>> >> >Why do trombone players make better lovers?
>> >> >Seven positions, need i say more...
>> >> >
>> >> >
>> >>
>> >> Only seven? Us violinists have 16, plus I play guitar (22 positions)
making
>> >a
>> >> total of 38! Aw yeah...
>> >>
>> >> NWH
>> >Well, I play geetar, and it 24 frets, and I play bass, that has 20, so
>> >that's 44! Ha! I'm a pimp!
>>
>> Damn, Aaron... you win. If anyone else has more positions than you, I'd
be
>> surprised. Until I get a bass, that is.
>>
>> NWH
>
>If you buy a bass, I'll get a double neck guitar. That's 44 positions
>right there!
NickHurl1
Thanks for the suggestion, Mike. I'm trying to start a war between the viola
section and the first violin section in my orchestra, so each day I plan on
writing a viola joke on the chalkboard... I like your version better than mine,
mind if I use it?
NWH
(just one of many violist-loathing first violinists)
Michael Caputo
> Thanks for the suggestion, Mike. I'm trying to start a war between the viola
> section and the first violin section in my orchestra, so each day I plan on
> writing a viola joke on the chalkboard... I like your version better than mine,
> mind if I use it?
>
> NWH
yes, I mean... no. Though, if you give credit to Mike "King of Komedy"
Caputo I'd be honored.
(the joke isn't a caputo original... but I tweaked it good.)
-Mike Caputo
NickHurl1
No problem, I believe in giving credit where credit is due. Thanks again.
NWH
(hoping the war will start any day so I can annihilate those damn violists)
Dizzy bon
>NWH
>(hoping the war will start any day so I can annihilate those damn violists)
while you're at it, can you take out the low brass (tubas/baritone) in my
school's wind ensemble?
dance on!
- pasha
SIMMERDOWN
Q: What do you do if your guitar player is drowning?
A: Throw him his amp.
NickHurl1
Sure, but no trombones - I have lots of friends that play the 'bone. I'm
probably gonna take out our clarinets, bassoons and french horns, too... none
of them can play, either! If anyone else has any instruments they want me to
take out, just ask.
NWH
(who's pissed cuz we were in the auditorium today, so there wasn't anyplace to
write a viola joke)
Dizzy bon
>Sure, but no trombones - I have lots of friends that play the 'bone
oh, no. trombones aren't part of the deal. i'll put out a personal contract on
our bass bone player, because the others are just fine.
> I'm probably gonna take out our clarinets
heyyyy.... don't do that, i play clarinet!
>none of them can play, either!
well, in that case, take our first clarinet section and send your clarinet
players to our band. then all the clarinets in our band will suck, and you'll
have good ones in yours (3 Bb clarinets, one Bb / Eb clarinet, and one Bb /
bass clarinet player in our band who are actually good)
>NWH
dance on!
- pasha
NickHurl1
Pasha wrote:
>>Sure, but no trombones - I have lots of friends that play the 'bone
>
>oh, no. trombones aren't part of the deal. i'll put out a personal contract
>on
>our bass bone player, because the others are just fine.
>
Ok, taking out the bass 'bone player is fine, all my friends play the regular
'bone. Hell, I'll take out your bass 'bone player for you, no problem!
>> I'm probably gonna take out our clarinets
>
>heyyyy.... don't do that, i play clarinet!
>
>>none of them can play, either!
>
>well, in that case, take our first clarinet section and send your clarinet
>players to our band. then all the clarinets in our band will suck, and you'll
>have good ones in yours (3 Bb clarinets, one Bb / Eb clarinet, and one Bb /
>bass clarinet player in our band who are actually good)
>
Hmm... I just might take you up on that offer. How long do you think it would
take you to kidnap, package, and send your clarinet players to us? On second
thought, never mind, one of ours is graduating this year, so hopefully we'll
get a good one next year... I wouldn't take out clarinet players anyway, my
girlfriend plays, just not with orchestra, oh well, what ya gonna do...
>>NWH
>
>dance on!
>- pasha
Hmm... just thought of another instrument to add to my hit-list - french
horns!!! I used to play, and I know from experience that all the players at my
school suck (in more ways than one!)
NWH
(soon-to-be instigator of the "UA Orchestra Massacre")