"The EPM Media consortium is delighted to announce that Prince's next
studio album SWELL TREE LENS is due out next Spring and will be
available exclusively to readers of the Daily mail newspaper."
I can't wait!
Greta xxx
Wow! The long awaited MIA album!
The rumour goes that Swell Tree Lens was supposed to be released this
year, but there were problems attaching it to the newspaper cover due
to its innovative jewel case fashioned out of tree bark coated with
lark spit. It had to be substituted with Planet Earth at last minute.
Dar
PJ
"Greta xxx" <zoom...@zoom.co.uk> schreef in bericht
news:1184595410....@d55g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
Gee. I bet that explains why Michael Jackson is having such a hard time
getting his new albums completed and released. He's using 12 year old boy
jizz for his jewel cases. They keep running out for some reason.
--
The new "Jackson 5"
Jordy Chandler
Jason Fancia
Jimmy Safechuck
Jonathan Spence
Jo Jo Elatab
STL rumours have been around for ages, apparently Prince was sitting
on the album because of some legal issues over samples used in the mix
that came from an Eskimo tribal ritual, the TMBG album "the else" and
a Phil Collins tribute band from Weston-Super-Mare.
There was also the issue that the album was just a few minutes too
long to fit on an ordinary CD, but Prince refused to shorten it,
saying "it's just perfectly formed", so it has been printed on a
slightly oversize CD, just a few millimetres wider in diameter to fit
the extra music on,
After the success of the Daily Mail Planet Earth giveaway, it has also
been rumoured that when Swell Tree Lens hits the shelves in the USA,
they will be giving a free Daily paper away with every copy.
"Greta xxx" <zoom...@zoom.co.uk> schreef in bericht
news:1184612388....@d55g2000hsg.googlegroups.com...
> I heard some new album rumours too. I met Prince at a charity buffet in
> aid of Steve Irwin's Widow's Integrity Fund, and whilst idly chatting over
> the appetisers he happened to mention that Swell Tree Lens is to be a
> concept album exploring various themes related to the Welsh Assembly. One
> of the tracks "Kinnock's Supper" is distinctly prog-rock, with a 23-minute
> guitar solo; another track titled "Matreshka - What A Doll!" sees Prince
> singing in Russian; and a special 'hidden' track which occurs at the end
> of the album will be a 9-minute recording of Prince reading a magazine
> article about knitting a sweater In Angola.
Cute and all, but funnier if you substitute 'Sting' in place of
'Prince', because you'd seriously have to stop and think about whether
it's a joke or not.
-Cat, just sayin'.
I heard "Matreshka - What A Doll" at a house party in suburban Vegas
last weekend, just when you think it's finished it starts all over
again, just a little bit quieter.
Are you sure about the Angola hidden track? I heard the bonus track on
the album is "Paxas Calta" and includes lyrics that reference the
political activist of the same name. Apparently Prince met Pazas in
2002 when he was trying to overthrow Bolivia using just three spoons,
some Ribena and a bucket. Prince and Paxas were photographed at an
agricultural exhibition in San Diego the same year riding a small
yellow tractor.
Nothing official on the Prince.com site regarding Swell Tree Lens, but
he was so excitied about it, I'm sure it will all appear soon, I also
can't wait to hear the track about the Waving Monocles, the virtual
track you can only hear if you imagine it and the song that only lasts
0.02 of a second.
Thanks for explaining about Lou, that trolling b*&@£$d.
Greta
-xxx-
"PJ" <p.leijen(nospam)@chello.nl> schreef in bericht
news:VFPmi.769$Rv4.581@amstwist00...
Greta, you are not wrong about the 'Paxus Calta' hidden track, except
that track is actually only accessed by melting down the CD jewel case
and smelling it as it burns. 'Angolan Sweater' occurs in the usual
'hidden track' manner following a pause immediately after the closing
track. The difference here is that while the pause inbetween the tracks
is normally a silence, Prince has opted instead for a high-pitched
whine that is inaudible to human beings but sends dogs wild.
~D~
"PJ" <p.leijen(nospam)@chello.nl> schreef in bericht
news:8KPmi.771$Rv4.503@amstwist00...
I know there were accusations that Greta and I are the same person, and
possibly even part of a trinity that includes Ernest or Richard, but nothing
could be further from the truth.
Greta is a good friend of mine, we go back 15 years or more, and our stories
of Prince are all entirely true.
Dar.
"PJ" <p.leijen(nospam)@chello.nl> wrote in message
news:zKPmi.772$Rv4.329@amstwist00...
Thats just ridiculous. At least Prince is using materials from sustainable
sources. The lark spit is actually farmed by Prince himself on his Lark Farm
in Ohio. There is no chance of the law coming down on Prince in the same way
they did on Jacko, although there was some minor interference from animal
authorities last year after some film footage of Prince injecting the larks
with industrial dyes was shown on the PETA website. Thankfully that matter
was settled quickly out of the courts, although it is ironic that the rush
to manufacture the cases was all in vain anyway.
The materials used in Prince's jewel case are very specific as they will be
used for the inclusion of the bonus track. See the notes from last year that
PJ has kindly reposted.
D.
Call yourselves Prince fans? You're still banging on about the OLD
Swell Tree Lens album, the one Prince himself decided was just too
radical for the public to appreciate. He has waited all this time to
debut it and every day has made improvements to the concept, the music
and the purity of the lark spit.
I had Prince round for tea last night, and he told me just a few more
exciting deelopments and personally requested I pots them on his
favourite newsgroup alt.music.prince to share with his fans, in fact
he insisted, and promised me some purple earhoods, a diamond nasal
plug, a lettuce, some more purple earhoods and $15 cash as an
incentive.
Apparently, and this is direct from the man himself, Swell Tree Lens
will be the first dehydrated album, if you leave the packaging in
water overnight, it grows into a complex of apartments that can house
17 families, the residue left in the unused water can sustain a
healthy male for years, as it is chromopacked with electrolytes and
bran, and if you lick the kitchen walls of any of the apartments, it
cures cancer. This way just one album can cure sickness, famine and
housing shortages in one sweep.
Another development he mentioned while we were waiting for the
vegetarian tripe to fester, was that the CD itself will have fractal
anamorphing. I don't know what this is exactly, but Prince told me one
of the groovy side effects is that if you play the CD near any
candles, they light themselves and start singing along.
He laughed when I suggested that Swell Tree Lens was going to be the
most exciting thing ever. "Wait until you hear 'Horatio Pelvis Gets
Rich By Farming Spiders', my upcoming childrens album."
Then we had dessert and partied like it was 1999. Again.
Exciting times.
Prince actually called at my house briefly in the wee hours of this morning.
He wanted a wee. Also he wanted to vomit up some bad vegetarian tripe he'd
eaten. Before he left, he managed to tell me a few more details about Swell
Tree Lens v.2 (he did struggle to talk inbetween the dry heaving).
Prince is apparently rather concerned about the modified record, as the
apartment housing made from the jewel case has, in tests, caused spontaneous
skin-peeling. Unless the host lark carrying the antibodies to this condition
can be located amongst the 12 billion larks on his Ohio farm, he will have
to instead release Swell Tree Lens version FOUR (version three caused the
extinction of the pigme echidna).
Version 4 contains all the same songs and surprises as originally intended
but with some new inclusions. The track "Matreshka What A Doll" has now been
remixed to include the sound of George Benson being horse-whipped in place
of a guitar solo, and one of the other songs (he didnt tell me which) is now
three songs.
The packaging is hoped to turn into a giant frisbee of death that gouges
people with spinning blades when thrown, although safety testing is still
underway.
Darrell
Keen to embrace emergent technology, Prince popped into my workplace
just a few minutes ago on his hover-trike and explained to me his
plans for more Swell Tree Lens v.05. He was so excited he spilled my
coffee onto my desk bonsai and then wrote a song about it "Coffee
Bonsai Spillage" that may yet appear on Swell Tree Lens v.05.
Prince wants to make Swell Tree Lens THE album to have on your iPOD,
so to co-incide with the newspaper giveaway edition, you'll be able to
buy a special bonus MegaGig edition of Swell Tree Lens that is 111,000
hours long and will completely fill your iPOD forcing fans to delete
all their other songs if they want to have the total Swell Tree
experience.
To get around some fo the memory costs, he is storing data on strands
of human hair, and offering complimentary purple wigs to any long
haired beaded fans that want to donate raw material.
He was about to tell me about the Swell Tree Lens tie-in clothing
range when George Benson rang him and he had to fly. He did shout
something about loincloths and cloaks before smashing my office window
and soaring into the clouds like a purple harbinger of joy.
Greta
xxx
Prince just sent me an email from his customised signature Blackberry.
About 10 minutes ago his hover trike docked with the crumbling remains
of the space station Mir where he is recording some final tracks for
Swell Tree Lens V.6.3.1(1B). In the email he informs me of a number of
exciting developments.
Firstly he intends to give away all future albums on CD completely
free, funding them them via a small test-tube containing some of his
body fluids which will be continuously sold and re-sold on Ebay until
it has passed to every person on Earth.
Secondly, this version of STL will include cover versions of any Hank
Marvin song that has gone beyond its 50 year copyright limit. Prince
had hoped to cover Hank's entire back catalogue but was blocked by the
ex-shadow's legal team when he learned that Prince had horsewhipped
George Benson. Apparently Hank had been hoping to horsewhip Benson for
his own 163rd album but Prince cunningly aquired the sole rights. Tit
for tat, basically.
The album is now boasting as many as 12 hidden tracks, one of which
will be hidden behind the lapel of all record shop staff. Prince
reminds all fans to grab the track when buying the CD, as well as to
take along a photograph of yourself holding the test tube of his
fluids in one hand and that day's newspaper in the other as proof of
purchase. Another hidden track will be inside one of the small raised
bumps on the door of the jewel case. Viewed under a microscope the
tiny bump is actually a snowglobe containing a scale model of Prince
making love to a butternut squash. The track, entitled "Squish
Squash", is a visual representation of what the song would probably
sound like and will also be released as a 16.5" flexi disc single,
recorded ay 78rpm.
Prince intends to keep making Swell Tree Lens albums until he gets the
sound just right so that when they are all played at the same time
they sound exactly like Purple Rain does backwards.
It's all going to be 12 kinds of awesome.
Dar
Lou
--
Ernest L Sewell, IV
East Greenbush, NY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX4dTyfL0X8 - Me on CNN, sorta.
"alex" <axzan...@gmail.com> schreef in bericht
news:07jn93pkjjbio3d7c...@4ax.com...
I want to also remind everyone that he's using my
name as an anagram for this album title. Obvious as sunshine of them.
Oh well, like Prince said "ya use my name as an anagram cuz u love me,
ya can't resist me, and that's as obvious as sunshine". <rolls eyes>
--
Ernest L Sevvell, IV
who gives a shit
> Oh well, like Prince said "ya use my name as an anagram cuz u love me,
> ya can't resist me, and that's as obvious as sunshine". <rolls eyes>
lol, is that what he said?
pinrec
nec rip
pencir
perinc
....
creatively bizarre or bizarrely creative, make it shorter next time though
Funny that you should mention feeling sad, because clinical depression
is one of things that Prince will cure with the forthcoming album.
Yesterday he came round with a new pamphlet that outlines the good
news of Swell Tree Lens. It is still in the testing phase of course,
but the album has already been found to cure the following conditions:
*Canker
*Collar Rot
*Berry Blotch
*Pink disease
*Purple disease
*Thread Blight
*Tip Blast
*Wilt
*Warty Berry
*Rust
*Root Knot
*Hot and Cold disease
*Tracheomycosis
*Nmeumaconiosis
*Child Benefit
*Scurvy
Unfortunately the current version of the album (STL V.553.7.8.008) has
also been found to have side effects on test subjects including
hypertension, hypoglacemia, death of the upper body, and river
blindness.
Prince is working day and night in his purple lab suit to correct
these problems so that everyone can enjoy Swell Tree Lens (except the
test subjects, obviously).
~D~
> I want to also remind everyone that he's using my
> name as an anagram for this album title. Obvious as sunshine of them.
I understand why you might think that, but anagrams can occur
coincidentally. My friend Heather Plant felt the same way when the
album 'Planet Earth' came out.
But I assure you again that I am not this "Lou" you mention, and the
information that I am relaying to you all comes straight from the
bejewelled lips of Prince himself.
I am interested in the history of trolling on this newsgroup. Can
someone fill me in? Who is the person posing as Richard Dower and
Ernest? Why the animosity between these people? And why is he
bothering to mock a persona such as Ernest when he does such an
excellent job of it on his own YouTube page?
D.
AMP takes the Merrin postion here
"Father Damien Karras: I think it might be helpful if I gave you some
background on the different personalities Regan has manifested. So far,
I'd say there seem to be three. She's convinced...
Father Merrin: There is only one."
Lou might've been the first, and he was indeed entertaining. In fact I'm
almost certain Lou Spear has made appearances from time to time but i'd
bet the farm he/she is not behind all of these trolls now. Even Ernest I
think knows it's not all Lou. Probably 4 different trolls.
But the crazy shit was started by the I hate white comedian dude then
Larry Moris (who might've been the same person at the time), then
several incarnations, new trolls, and the trolls with nowhere else to
go started imitating eachother, finally imitating regulars. It didn't
matter much at that point; amp was pretty much dead. But I guess some
people need to blame someone or something.
I tend to think all of these people have been here since amp's 'hey
day' and used to post as regulars, and for one reason or another decided
to do whatever they do (why do trolls troll anyway?). Who knows if
there's anything personal behind it. But amp sucks anyway so who cares?
:)
The best I can do for now.
Oh, then there's you....... what are you talking about with the Swell
Tree Lens stuff LOL, i mean it's amusing but c'mon you know what this is
;0 YOU COULD BE ONE OF THESE TROLLS IF NOT LOU!!! But hey nothing
else going on so do whatever the fuck you want. Your fake album sounds
way more interesting than anything P could put out.
J.D.
Back to the org
I just had a very irate psychic message from Prince. I had to remove
my silver foil hat to get it clearly but I could tell from the alpha
waves that he was livid.
Apparently P read the comment "Your fake album sounds way more
interesting....." and totally lost it. How dare you, how dare you
suggest that the purple imp of creativities magnum opus "Swell Tree
Lens" is anything but real? P has poured his very lifeforce into STL
over the last several years, transcending the mundane with an album
that will not only cure disease, bring about world peace, feed the
hungry and home the homeless, but also herald in a new era for the
world. P is in talks with the world calander consortium now to have
the year 2008 renumbered as year 1 around the world to mark the album
release.
Oh yes, as soon as the clinical trials end you'll see just how real
Swell Tree Lens is, then you'll be sorry.
Greta
xxx
This Swell Tree Lens stuff is a mockery of P. Me thinks. I say this
because the megalomaniacal aim of "STL" isn't that far off from
Prince's actual agenda/aim for the last 15-20 years- apparent to those
of us with no 'smack in their brain'. [That little hit of Ecstacy one
revelatory evening or near death car accident or Nervous breakdown,
whatever the actual event that precipitated the first of what would be
Prince's many "rebirth's", and subsequent overzealousness that made even
the gayest of Prince fans vomit, started the wars with spooky and all
that he crawls 4.] Goddamned Spooky electric. I think the story goes
that Prince saw a vision in the sky, something like some doves forming
the word GOD (or maybe it WAS Swell Tree Lens)?
Whatever the case, that was the beginning of his journey, or mission to
change the 'system'. Thus the New Power Generation was created to raise
hell! I was never really sure what he was talking about though cuz
sometimes he sounded like he had been watching too many Spike Lee movies
and just screaming "wake up!!!" or something. But maybe he was just mad
because his sales had dropped drastically, and he wasn't being sucked by
mainstream anymore. Waaaaa. Just kidding. Prince is entertaining. Oh
remember when he first saw that Tom Cruise movie "The Firm". I think
Prince thought (or wanted to believe) he was being conspired against by
Warner Brothers (the man). Then there was "The Matrix" a bigger scope of
nonesense for Prince to play with. He didn't REALLY understand the
matrix, but once again Neo and his 'real' music was gonna fix things.
[................]
Anyhow, it's been really goofy, but not as bizarre as the Swell Tree
Lens stuff your promoting. And you're gonna come on here and further
confuse people who have been dazed and confused since Lovesexy and
bootlegs of The Black album.
"or was it just a mirage..........."
PS. When you get a chance can you upload "Matreshka What A Doll" remix?
You had me on the floor with the George Benson stuff and I wanna hear
what it sounds like.
-J.D.
Troll troll troll. LOL You're a douche Hash. He cuts and pastes
things I've said before and twists it around and there ya go. He's
never said anything original, and he only comes up with some clever
quip after I've already said it. Watch, a week down the line, he'll
post THIS about "everyone copies what I say", and ....well you'll
probably respond to him on that too.
hahahahaha Dork.
--
Ernest L Sewell, IV
well if he's cutting and pasting your words, and he sounds like a dick.....
>
> hahahahaha Dork.
wait....you're the real one? what a douche
144,000
He found what he was looking for.
Like candy from a baby.
I will have a word with Prince and see if I can arrange a preview of this
exciting track.
D.
You probably already heard, but this is now up at YouTube just as you hoped
for:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6pvu6_dZkfw
D.
LOL! hahaha that's what I'm talkin' bout.....whip that mofo! was it
you playing G.B.'s part? ahh you got me!!! lol
props to tinylapelstudios - very catchy lil tune, wtf it was about i
don't know goddamn voodoo lover doll nonesense.... but funny nonetheless
where'd you guys film this, Paisley?
only thing is I kept hearing the Sopranos theme song
heheh
ahh you got me again!!!
> who gives a shit
You and the trolls seem to get along well. I told you that this fool
wouldn't mention anagrams until I did a few weeks ago, and here we are.
Same with the "obvious as sunshine" bullshit.
LOL Tsk tsk
Hey dufus you're replying to the same post again. Oh wait, there are
two of you :o which idiot are you?
Look folks, poor Sewell is bored again
someone give him another muse, this guy takes after Prince
moron
If I take after Prince then that explains why you're on my jock as much
as Prince's.
Peace and B Wild, MFer.
I'll accept having been on Prince's jock at one point in my life -
Prince had something to stand on. But you? Classic joke.
wild, for sure, sissy loser.
LOL you're such a dumbass, I can't even feel sorry for you.
--
Ernest L Sewell, IV
East Greenbush, NY