"Big Dick" --Worst Polka Song Ever???
jrodg
be good and even "wonderful" polka songs on this site , it occurs to
me that rarely ,if ever , have we considered the "other side of the
coin" ---the truly bad polkas : Well, here's the opportunity: By pure
chance I stumbled upon a number which I believe may truly be THE WORST
POLKA SONG EVER --- and it's on youtube for all to see and here ;
namely " Big Dick"( ---No, this isn't one of those porno spam posts
that "pops up here occasionally"---Read on-- this title is for
real !---and "legit" ( I guess) ---Where was I ? ---Yes, it's BIG DICK
FARTS THE POLKA ----- You can find it under that title on youtube ---
and I challenge anyone to find a polka nearly as bad ( altho , hey,
who knows, maybe someone can--this might make for some interesting
results ) ----- But , lest we disrespect this song too much, online
research quickly shows that IT's AN AWARD WINNER (!?!!) with a
significant following ---It won something known as the "Makers of Song
Fu Competition" ---Does anyone know this song or more about these
matters--how about you, Mike S ?
I'll be interested to hear comments on this phenomenon, on other
possible candidates for "Worst Polka Ever" and related issues. This
could make for fascinating, productive discussion ---and , one would
think , a new category to be added to the various polka awards
rosters.".Now let the competitions begin---and may the worst candidate
win ! "^^
Wild Wilson
all music has it's novelty songs and such - we're all big people and
humor and fun is what the world certainly needs - especially these
days
Dr. Demento made a great career out of playing songs of this type
look back at the great spike jones, and darlene & jonathan edwards
(who was darlene edwards really?)
jrodg
OMG haha: I wouldn't classify this as one of the "worst polkas ever"
in the sense of "terrible" --- of course it's real "bad" in the
"naughty" sense of the word , and "bad" can mean either one, really:
Anyway, it's over- the -top- hilarious ! ( if you're a "legal adult"
of course , that is...) ---I needed a laugh ,and with this one i
couldn't stop laughing ---Thanks , Rod
PS: I'll look into Darlene and Jonathan Edwards, as you
suggested ,but...isn't he the VP candidate who just admitted to having
a baby with his campaign's camera-lady?.. Who'd care to write a polka
about him-? ---I guess I'll pass..
since I've done my share of "celebrity recognition" numbers for now...
Wild Wilson
actually the husband of Jo Stafford, remember her? Darlene and
Jonathan Edwards
Glad you enjoyed the Hand Teddy Polka...Then haven't we all - LOL
Enjoy your Sunday - the Wildman
Johnzz
Now deep in Pennsylvania near where Route 180 ends
There's a humble house of brick and wood and glass
The tiny home of Rich Wojcinski, Big Dick to his friends
Who despite his name is famous for what issues from his ass
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Now Big Dick started dinner with some cabbage and some greens
Some broccoli, a pair of turkey legs
Some jalapeño poppers and a tub of kidney beans
Several liters of cream soda and a dozen deviled eggs
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
They say that grown men cried the day that Big Dick passed away
The ladies wailed, their shoulders sadly stooped
And though there were no instruments a band began to play
And the air was filled with music and it smelled like someone pooped
Every Tuesday night at the Legion Hall
Bring a can of Glade and have a ball
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everyone who hears can't help but dance
Someone better get him a change of pants
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
Everybody loves when Big Dick farts a polka
jrodg
Wow, you have the text ready and all, John--I wonder if this means
that this song is up for a PACE award, too? You don't have a "worst
"category, do you? ( but of course that didn't stop the "Song Fu"
people from giving it their honor). Time will tell...
Lori Young
The Big Dick Polka is an intentionally bad novelty song written for
the "Masters of Song Fu" contest. The basis of the contest was that
every week a group of songwriters were assigned to write a song with a
certain style and/or topic. There would then be voting to decide who
did the best to meet that topic. The assignment that week was to
"write a song in the style of your opponent". Even the song writer
acknowledges that he "went too far", but his goal was to rip on the
sound of another band. So the reason it may have won a lot of votes
is not because people think it is a good song, but did the best to
capture the style of the other group. (Who haven't ever done a polka
as far as I know, but occasionally write songs with some silly,
juvenile themes.)
Lori
Wild Wilson
write songs with some silly, juvenile themes.)"
Lori
Hey, I resemble that remark! - LOL
Wild Wilson
jrodg
> Here's something else Jonathan did besides the farting polka
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsV-qozMz9A&NR=1
Thanks for showing us the Laika song, which is very unique and
touching---so, although J. Coulton may well have written the worst
polka ever, he is a versatile songwriter who has also written one of
the most humane, compassionate musical statements I've seen....from
the worst to the best and everything in between : sort of a tour de
force of the human (and canine ) condition.
Mike Surratt
Only my wife knows for sure...
PolkaVideos
> THE WORST
> POLKA SONG EVER --- and it's on youtube for all to see and here ;
As a joke, I put up a "She's Too Fat For Me" video on youtube under
moreplkavideos. Last I checked it had somewhere around 61,000 views.
When I took the video, I think I had one mic on the band linked into
one camera on the other end of the hall. About 4 people are dancing
(often comments of: Old People Will Dance To Anything), but the real
sinker and hook is the accordion player singing the tune and breaking
off into a "Fat Albert Hey Hey Hey." It's the only polka video I left
up that should seriously have been pulled otherwise, and was never
intended to go semi-viral. But when you're married to one of the guys
on the stage who is giggling just as well, some times you have to just
say WT - Heck!
62,711 views http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtmuXWCFQzE
Wild Wilson
Enjoy the St. Patrick's Day show this week till then though!
happy Sunday! - the Wildman
jrodg
Haha, you're daring to play it--Wonder if it's the first airplay
it's ever gotten--It takes "cohones" to play "Big Dick" (LOL) : On the
other hand , it is a bona fide award-winning polka (!?) : Wally,
Marion and Eddie B all recorded lots of songs with much stronger, more
"explicit" content ( really!!!), and these were very popular at the
time, but they sort of "flew under the radar" since (a) they were in
Polish, for the most part, and (b) these albums were marked "not for
air play" ...
Wild Wilson
>
> Haha, you're daring to play it--Wonder if it's the first airplay
> it's ever gotten--It takes "cohones" to play "Big Dick" (LOL) : On the
> other hand , it is a bona fide award-winning polka (!?) :
you can hear it on the Wild Wilson Show this week on http://247polkaheaven.com
or at http://Wildwilson.com/id1.html thanks to you Joe!!!
jrodg
Cool: I accept your kind reference to me humbly and gratefully --Of
course the real credit goes to J. Coulter , who wrote this
masterpiece.---The only thing I don't understand is why this number
wasn't given a PAC and/or USPA award ?!!?! --- NO---PLEASE---NOBODY
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY: IT'S JUST A JOKE! (haha...?)
Wild Wilson
> wasn't given a PAC and/or USPA award ?!!?! --- NO---PLEASE---NOBODY
> TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY: IT'S JUST A JOKE! (haha...?)
why would you say that? it had already won an award and it's a fun
funny song. It's makes you sing and want to dance along so really you
got to admit it does it's job as a polka it's just the words that
makes all the oh no we can't get this song all it's rewards
supposedly. I might have voted for it for song of the year if only I
had known - doh! Seriously though it's only because of our thinking as
peeps here in the USA in our Chevrolet. In comparison to Europe and
nudity for example how up tight we still are about that. So why
couldn't this song be taken seriously the same as Walt Soleks 'they're
always in the way' look at the air play that song still gets. Nobody
even dies in that song like they do in Jonathan Coulter's
masterpiece. However I did know a young lady once when I was much
younger and I almost did - lol. Tune into the show or watch the video
and share what you think.
p.s. I have emailed Jonathan and asked him how someone can get a copy
of the song.
jrodg
You're right that the tune is very catchy-- I just can't see these
lyrics being successful in the polka field : For better or worse, most
people in the field would probably consider them offensive and a very
bad representation of the polka image, about which many are very
sensitive. If somebody were to "sanitize" the text and give it a more
upbeat, "polka friendly" message ( or had done that originally ) the
number might catch on big in this field: something about it does seem
to have that sort of "hook", which is probably why it won an award in
the first place. I don't see how the "scatological" lyrics, which ,
however light-heartedly, portray the polka-loving Polish-American
character as a gluttonous, farting slob, would ever "cut it" in this
field, though...