Eddie Vedder: The Horrible Truth?
Keith Libitz
I just had a discussion with a friend about it and
I figured I would send it along for those who maybe
haven't seen it before.
Eddie Vedder: The Horrible Truth?
This is produced without the knowledge or consent of Eddie Vedder or
anyone else in his band. All lyrics and other material, as well as his
name, is probably copyright to Eddie Vedder. Basically don't use this for
commercial gain, or Eddie'll probably drain you of blood or something.
Note to Eddie: Think of this as free advertising...
Introduction.
Dracula. Lestat. Shaithis. Eddie Vedder. Faethor Ferenczy. Who is the odd
one out? If you said 'Eddie Vedder', you're wrong... dead wrong. Because
there is actually no odd one out - every one of those named is...
A vampire. Yes, a vampire. Vampyre. Wamphyri. However you spell it,
however you pronounce it, the essential truth remains: blood-sucking
creatures caught between life and death, subsisting
on the life of the living. But how dare I include Eddie Vedder, lead
singer of 'grunge' group Pearl Jam, in such a list? Read on, and all
shall be revealed.
The Change.
Vampires are not born vampires. On the contrary, they are merely humans
who have been twisted and perverted beyond mortal ken during a bizarre
ritual in which an older vampire somehow passes on his or her fiendish
powers to the initiate. Eddie is no exception, and, among other things,
there is much information about his particular 'change' concealed within
the album notes for Pearl Jam's second album, VS. On page 8, there is a
seemingly random flow of gibberish which does not actually appear in the
album's music. However, careful examination can draw method from Vedder's
madness...
1. The line: "This meeting is driving me crazy... changing me." This
obviously refers to the meeting with the elder vampire who made him what
he is today.
2.The words: "Bite this." Evidently, this refers to the part of the
meeting during which the elder vampire drank Vedder's blood; the "this" in
question would most likely be Eddie's neck, although the wrist may not be
ruled out.
After this meeting which Vedder torturedly describes here, Vedder was ever
after one of the hideous legion, doomed to walk the earth and drink blood.
Blood.
Blood is extremely important to vampires. They need it to survive. Eddie
is rather obsessed with the subject, featuring it in many of his songs.
One of them is even called "Blood."
However, far more subtle connotations can be (mis)inferred from the song
"Satan's Bed." In this, he sings:
Model, role model, roll some models in blood,
Get some flesh to stick, so they'll look like us...
This is a slightly risque allusion to the common human practice of
spraying whipped cream, &c., on one's lover. Because Eddie consumes blood,
he would obviously use this instead. However, there is also a second
meaning. Vedder implies that if a person had dead flesh stuck to them,
they would look like "us" - "us" being, of course, vampires.
And finally, in "Glorified G," Eddie says, "I can feel the blood in your
veins." But how is this possible? The only way he could 'feel' blood is if
he was in contact with it somehow... for example...drinking it.
Age.
Vampires have generally been roaming the Earth for quite a while. While
Eddie conceals this particular aspect of his vampirism relatively well, he
does make the occasional slip.
For example, in "Satan's Bed", Eddie can clearly be heard to say "Who set
the standards? / Barnaby Rudge..." (NOT "born to be rich" as common
opinion would have it). He is referring of course to the Charles Dickens
character of the same name... but how could he know of this character? The
only answer is that he was actually alive (or perhaps even undead) when
Dickens was writing the book... more than one hundred years ago.
The Sun/Lights.
Vampires cannot stand the sun, and lighting of any kind is injurious to
them. Eddie expresses his hatred of pure, wholesome sunlight in the song,
"Leash," when, near the end, he chants, "The lights! The lights!" (not
"Delight! Delight!" as some might have it) as one in a great deal of pain.
Current opinion has it that he was recording in a darkened studio, when
the producer turned the light on to find the bathroom... resulting in
agony for our undead Eddie.
Nemeses.
Vampires often have nemeses. As Dracula had his Van Helsing, so does
Eddie Vedder have the lead singer of "folksy" band Counting Crows.
This seething, maggoty, incestuous hatred was hinted at on "Vs.", when,
in "Go," Eddie says, "Turn to my nemesis." However, this is nothing
compared to the fury that would all to soon reach a hideous, bloody and
unnatural climax.
On the Crows' first album, their lead singer asserts, "I need a raincoat."
BUT! In "Vitalogy," an album released after the aforementioned Crows
album, Vedder violently disagrees: "Don't need a raincoat," he roars
furiously. This is a mere example of the tooth-and-nail feuding that only
occasionally surfaces from its rotting lake of hellfire and deceit.
Miscellaneous.
There are several more nails on the coffin of Eddie Vedder's charade.
1.During the song "Tremor Christ," he says, "I ... am ... a ...
v...a...mp...i...re," although of course he cunningly conceals the letters
in individual words.
2.One of the songs on "Vitalogy" is called "Corduroy." Obviously, this
is an anagram of "Drocyuro" - which could well be "Dracula" said by
someone with a speech impediment.
3.During the song "Pry, to", Eddie spells out the word "P-R-I-V-A-C-Y".
But add the letters A and M to that (as in "I AM a vampire"), and what do
you get? "PRIVACYMA" - an anagram of "VAMPIRACY"!
Stop press - line-by-line analysis of 'Corduroy'!
Corduroy. Great song --- and also the biggest repository of Vampire info
since "3"! Here I present a line-by-line analysis of the song, translating
metaphor into reality and revealing what Eddie would prefer remained
hidden...
CORDUROY
The waiting drove me mad... you're finally here and I'm a mess;
Some vampires, in order to increase their pleasure, like to ambush humans
rather than actively hunting them. This can be frustrating, and it would
seem that while waiting for 'you', Eddie grew so frustrated that he flew
into a frenzy and became 'a mess'.
I take your riches back...can't let you roam inside my head
Vampires believe that humans are little more than cattle, and anything a
human possesses is no more his or hers than a cow's tag is the cow's.
Hence, 'I take your riches back,' means 'I now take back what I let you
have for a while but which is rightfully mine'. And he can't let 'you'
roam inside his head (psychically or psychologically) because you do doubt
would discover his vampiric attributes.
I don't want to take what you can't give...
All vampires know it is important to keep the human race as a while
alive, so that they (the vampires) may continue to feed on them. Hence,
vampires do not take what we as a species cannot afford to lose.
I would rather starve than eat your bread...
He only consumes blood.
I would rather run but I can't walk...
Guess I'll lie alone just like before...
Evidently these lines refer to the end of a night of hunting. When the
sun is due to rise, vampires indeed cannot walk - they must be hidden away
from sight in fact... 'lying alone' in coffins. He would rather keep
running around and having vampiric fun, but he knows that he must instead
retire to his coffin and rest for the day.
I'll take the varmints back...oh, and I must refuse your test
Some vampires possess the ability to influence animals. See also Eddie's
line, 'I'd rather be with an animal' in Animal. But anyway, the 'varmints'
in question are probably bats or rats that he has set to watch or guard a
human. Now he is taking them back. And he must refuse any tests -
medical, psychological, etc. - because they would reveal his non-humanity.
Push me and I will resist...this behavior's not unique
Vampires have excellent reflexes. This explains the 'push me' part.
As for the rest, it is a chilling warning to all of us that he is not
alone.
I don't want to hear from those who know...
Those who know = Vampire Hunters. He does not wish to be visited by them,
for obvious reasons.
They can buy, but can't put on my clothes...
Um... because the fetid stench of evil would be too repulsive?
I don't want to limp for them to walk...
He doesn't want to be wounded just so they can 'walk tall' and be proud.
Never would have known of me before...
Before he was a vampire.
I don't want to be held in your debt...
Vampires dislike connections to the mortal world in general.
I'll pay it off in blood then I'll be wed...
He can certainly get as much blood as he needs to pay off this debt. As
for 'I'll be wed', well, this obviously means that he plans to have a
fraudulent wedding to conceal his vampiracy.
I'm already cut off and half dead...
Not alive, not dead - half-dead. And he's 'cut off' from humans because
he is so far above them on the power scale.
I'll end up alone like I began...
Once he has alienated all his friends and relatives by only coming out at
night and feeding on human blood.
Everything has chains, absolutely nothing's changed
To a vampire, who is much more limber and strong than we, every human is
clumsy and weak - i.e. in chains.
Take my hand, not my picture, spilled my teacher
'Not my picture' is actually only what he claims to say. In fact, he says
'Rama picture', Rama being a god of death in certain beliefs. So he is
imploring a picture of the god Rama, in lieu of Rama himself, to take his
hand. Why does he want this assistance? Because he 'spilled' his teacher -
i.e. drank blood clumsily and left evidence for the police to find.
I don't want to take what you can't give....
See above.
I would rather starve than eat your breast...
Vampires prefer the neck.
All the things that others want for me...
i.e. burning and a stake through the heart.
Can't buy what I want because it's free... (2x)
To a vampire, blood is indeed free.
Can't be what you want because I'm...
Evidently pressure from older vampires forced him to cut out the final
two words of that line: 'a vampire'.
I ain't s'posed to be just fun
The vampire is indeed a fearsome and terrifying enemy.
Oh, to live and die, let it be done
i.e. let mortality be done. That is, he is no longer mortal.
I figure I'll be damned, all alone like I began...
For the first half, remember that vampires are often quite tortured and
consider themselves damned. For the second half, see above.
Jam421
Keith Libitz
> Are you retarded?
Are you? I didn't write it dumbass.
Check out http://www.fastlink.com.au/subscrib/kingj/eddie3.txt
for the original and other assorted ramblings.
--
Keith Libitz - Sr. Systems Administrator - Mirror Image Internet
Email: kei...@mirror-image.com - V: 781-939-0678 - F: 781-939-0519
SIGSIG -- signature too long (core dumped)
Anne Tremblay
Fryesam
Dust.Bunny
bullet and drive a stake through its heart.
Evelyn
Fryesam wrote in message
<199807252009...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
Keith Libitz
who reads this group was here six months ago when
this thread was around and I thought I would pass
it along for them to check out. Believe me it's
the last time I'll do that, it's not worth the
silliness that it drags out of the woodwork.
broadcastb
I mean, you're not too into this sort of thing are you?
It's like an intellectual thing right?
Cause if it wasn't, I would almost have to be a little bit concerned for
you. like, worried about you.
Email me if you want. We could talk.
Keith Libitz wrote in message ...
Keith Libitz
> Uhm, you're kinda just playing around with this vampire concept, right?
> I mean, you're not too into this sort of thing are you?
> It's like an intellectual thing right?
So let's answer all these questions plus the too from before.
Yes I am retarded, Yes I MUST be stupid, I am not at all playing,
I am WAY into vampires, can't be intellectual because I am stupid.
broadcastb
2 I'm glad to hear it's a continuation type of thing.
3 Vampires is an interesting kinda concept, but basically what it amounts to
is, you're singing the blues. Dark things and the like are sort of a
depressing preoccupation. I like to look on the happier side of life.
Although it is fun to see the movies and read books and such for the
entertainment value. If you spend all your time on the dark side, you miss
the best parts of life. I just don't see Pearl Jam as unhappy type music.
They talk about anger, they relate some of these feelings, but I sure don't
think they're trying to steer people that way.
Questions:
1 Who has been telling you you're stupid? It's interesting. Eddie makes no
secret of the fact that some of his childhood was spent hearing things like
this about him. At least one could assume so. His music, and the rest of the
bands lyrics, seem to reflect this at one time or another. Could this be why
you relate to them?
2 People who spend time on the dark side are basically angry in many cases.
Would you be angry about things? If you were angry, are you even aware that
you are? If you did bring yourself to the point of seeing you were angry,
(if you were),
could you begin to look into your life, your past, or maybe the present or
both, and maybe figure out *exactly* what it was that made you angry, maybe
more than one thing?
3 How could you possibly be stupid enough to believe you're stupid? You
aren't.
Don't believe everything some pinhead tells you.
"This song is for the ------- that ------- my ---"
Keith Libitz wrote in message ...
>On Sat, 25 Jul 1998, broadcastb wrote:
>
>> Uhm, you're kinda just playing around with this vampire concept, right?
>> I mean, you're not too into this sort of thing are you?
>> It's like an intellectual thing right?
>
Enltenme
time on your hands. Love & Peace, Tom
RSoares323
write lyrics in that style, to screw with people's mind's and alienate them
from liking Pearl Jam, or (b) Whoever wrote this has WAY too much time on their
hands, you decide.
M. Lowerr
>
> I imagine this one has been posted here before but
> I just had a discussion with a friend about it and
> I figured I would send it along for those who maybe
> haven't seen it before.
>
> Eddie Vedder: The Horrible Truth?
Arg, it's back ... there used to be a whole web page dedicated to this .. might
still be out there, if it is i'm not going to waste time searching for it...
--
.
' Light And Shade ... http://www.execpc.com/~mlowerr/
' Long Road Web Productions ... http://www.execpc.com/~mlowerr/longroad
`. If you disapprove of something, is it wrong to profit from it?
Shannon
Melora Foy
: I didnt even bother to read your post, you either are retarded of have to much
: time on your hands. Love & Peace, Tom
I found it hilarious. Don't people here have a sense of humor?
Melora
Knaff
vampire. I think it was a joke, and people should learn to lighten up.
Keith Libitz wrote in message ...