Rant on "The Aristocats"
8
For the first time since I was like 6 years old I saw "The Aristocats"
last night, with my fellow honeybee Melissa, on laserdisc over chinese
food. After the movie, my mind was a buzz of questions, and today I just
thought I'd share them to try to make sense of the movie with fellow
Aristocat fans.
First of all, I really want to know where the kittens came from. If
Dutchess is supposed to be so prim and proper, then where's the father?
Or should I say fatherS, because the kids could not look any more
different; one's black, one's white, and one's orange (as if she'd met
Mr. O'Malley before...). The only conclusion one can draw from this is
either she's a two time widow (at least), or just a slut. Melissa and I
chose the "slut" option, especially after seeing how she wanted to throw
herself at O'Malley from the second she saw him.
Okay, that out of the way, it leads to bunches of other questions. You
see, I'm fairly convinced the movie (made in 1970) could not get away
with half the stuff it did if it were made today, for various subject
matter reasons (barring that "where's the father" problem):
1) The Mistress was British, and so was the old lawyer and Edgar,
Dutchess spoke with a Hungarian accent, O'Malley was Irish-American, the
two dogs were from the south, the kids were American, the geese were on
vacation from Britian, Roquefort was American, and the dairy driver was
the only one in the whole movie with a French Accent even though the
whole movie takes place in Paris.
2) If Edgar wanted the money so badly, why didn't he just wait until
the Mistress was dead before getting rid of the cats?!
3) What was with the gay lover dogs?!
4) Why was Uncle Waldo such a total drunk?
5) What was with that Asian guy in Scat Cat's bad who slapped a
cymbal on his head and started going off on fortune cookies??
6) Why was Marie always fucking up? Why didn't her mother slap her
around? First, she falls off the truck, then she falls in the goddamn
river, etc. etc. etc.
7) What was the bug up the black kitten's butt throughout the first
2/3 of the movie?
8) Why was Touloose the only kitten with any funk level whatsoever???
9) Since when did the Mistress care about alley cats???
10) Why Timbuktu????
And another thing: why is O'Malley so unbelievably cool?? He totally
puts the moves on dutchess, sprinkles her with flower petals and stuff,
then later in the movie when he's finally got her alone, what does he
do?? NOTHING!!! He's suddenly interested in commitment?! Did the movie
suddenly veer into science fiction? Hey--he's an ALLEY cat!! Alley cats
have to prowl, right? Does the Dutchess know about his 58 other
girlfriends all around Paris (probably with non-French accents as well)?
And why didn't he eat Roquefort on sight? God, that mouse was annoying.
Okay, I'm done now.
love,
dave
--
dave kittredge *********************************** da...@panix.com
"I love my gay male friends. When I was a little girl, I prayed to God
that when I grew up, I'd be surrounded by gorgeous men. I guess I should
have been more specific." --Margaret Cho
Honeybuzzzzz
>For the first time since I was like 6 years old I saw "The Aristocats"
>last night, with my fellow honeybee Melissa, on laserdisc over chinese
>food. After the movie, my mind was a buzz of questions, and today I just
>thought I'd share them to try to make sense of the movie with fellow
>Aristocat fans.
What do you want to bet, I'm the only person who will respond to this?
Unless of course those unmentionable *other* people take over the thread
out of pure perversity...;)
BTW, thanks for the disc! You officially rule.
>First of all, I really want to know where the kittens came from. If
>Dutchess is supposed to be so prim and proper, then where's the father?
>Or should I say fatherS, because the kids could not look any more
>different; one's black, one's white, and one's orange (as if she'd met
>Mr. O'Malley before...). The only conclusion one can draw from this is
>either she's a two time widow (at least), or just a slut. Melissa and I
>chose the "slut" option, especially after seeing how she wanted to throw
>herself at O'Malley from the second she saw him.
Total slut, and she loves it. Hey, Madame was a total slut too! She and
George were DEFINITELY bumping uglies...;) But who wouldn't throw
themselves at O'Malley, studmuffin that he was?!? I still think he had a
bit of the sub in him, but that could be projection. <g>
>1) The Mistress was British, and so was the old lawyer and Edgar,
>Dutchess spoke with a Hungarian accent, O'Malley was Irish-American, the
>two dogs were from the south, the kids were American, the geese were on
>vacation from Britian, Roquefort was American, and the dairy driver was
>the only one in the whole movie with a French Accent even though the
>whole movie takes place in Paris.
Beats me.
>2) If Edgar wanted the money so badly, why didn't he just wait until
>the Mistress was dead before getting rid of the cats?!
Then you wouldn't have a plot conflict. Duchess needs the motivation to
get back to Madame and something to give O'Malley a hard time with...
>3) What was with the gay lover dogs?!
They rule. That's what's with them. They just rule.
"*I'M* the leader! I'll say if they rule!......They rule."
>4) Why was Uncle Waldo such a total drunk?
Yeah, that was pretty un-PC of them. Hey, were those incestuous lesbian
geese?!? "Bottoms up!"..."DEEPER!!" Heh.
>5) What was with that Asian guy in Scat Cat's bad who slapped a
>cymbal on his head and started going off on fortune cookies??
Unfortunate throwback to WWII propaganda films.
>6) Why was Marie always fucking up? Why didn't her mother slap her
>around? First, she falls off the truck, then she falls in the goddamn
>river, etc. etc. etc.
Usual sexist twaddle...
>7) What was the bug up the black kitten's butt throughout the first
>2/3 of the movie?
He wasn't as funky as Touloose and he couldn't handle it.
>8) Why was Touloose the only kitten with any funk level whatsoever???
Because Touloose rules.
>9) Since when did the Mistress care about alley cats???
That must have been the deal she made in secret with O'Malley: "Keep
Duchess happy and you can hang out with your buddies."
BTW, her name was Madame. You've been hanging out with Mistress Producer
too much! ;>
>10) Why Timbuktu????
It sounds funny and kids know it's far away.
>And another thing: why is O'Malley so unbelievably cool?? He totally
>puts the moves on dutchess, sprinkles her with flower petals and stuff,
>then later in the movie when he's finally got her alone, what does he
>do?? NOTHING!!! He's suddenly interested in commitment?! Did the movie
>suddenly veer into science fiction? Hey--he's an ALLEY cat!! Alley cats
>have to prowl, right? Does the Dutchess know about his 58 other
>girlfriends all around Paris (probably with non-French accents as well)?
She probably already slept with his 58 other girlfriends! Besides, YOU
like to prowl, and how hard would it be to talk you into a lifetime of
Sunday afternoons with a cool cat...nuff said. I know, that was below the
belt...I'm the same way.
>And why didn't he eat Roquefort on sight? God, that mouse was annoying.
Hey, I love Roquefort! He's got that little sherlock-holmes-hat and stuff!
>Okay, I'm done now.
I can't believe you posted this. It gets my award for most off-topic
original post yet! :)
love,
melissa, a cross between Duchess, Touloose and Napoleon...hee, hee.
--
}!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ hone...@panix.com }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{
8<_>-<_>-<_>-<_>-<8 "You don't wanna know what I'd find fun right now." 8
8<_>Melissa Ray>-<8 - Wolverine, X-Men 8
8<_>-<_>-<_>-<_>-<8 "I'm rotton to the core." - Me, age 5 8
Kathleen Tibbetts
8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>For the first time since I was like 6 years old I saw "The Aristocats"
>last night, with my fellow honeybee Melissa, on laserdisc over chinese
>food. After the movie, my mind was a buzz of questions, and today I just
>thought I'd share them to try to make sense of the movie with fellow
>Aristocat fans....
I think the key to the kittens' personalities (or lack thereof) can be
found by examining the lives of the historic figures for whom they seem
to be named, as follows:
>6) Why was Marie always fucking up? Why didn't her mother slap her
>around? First, she falls off the truck, then she falls in the goddamn
>river, etc. etc. etc.
MARIE - Apparent namesake: Marie Antoinette. (The white - powdered? -
hair is just one of the tipoffs that this isn't, say, Marie Curie we're
talkin' about here.) A famously useless French queen who got herself
whacked during the Revolution for nothing more, or less, than being too
stupid to live. No head...no sense! (Get it?)
>7) What was the bug up the black kitten's butt throughout the first
>2/3 of the movie?
BERLIOZ - Apparent namesake: Hector Berlioz. A famously brilliant French
composer who nevertheless may have been a serious drag on a personal
level. Whipped to a fare-thee-well by his staid bourgeois family, he only
escaped becoming the doctor Daddy wanted because dissections made him
pukey. Took shit from the French public more or less constantly because
he didn't write more operas, which must've made him pretty defensive
after a while. Rumor has it that he got high every so often, but he
probably was tedious then, too.
>8) Why was Touloose the only kitten with any funk level whatsoever???
TOULOUSE - Apparent namesake: Henri-Marie Raymond de Toulouse-Lautrec-
Monfa. A famously slummy French nobleman and vertically challenged
drunken-bastard painter who spent most of his adult life in saloons and
whorehouses and took advantage of his extreme lack of height to look up
can-can dancers' skirts and make pictures about it. Duuuuuuuude! Rock
'n' roll!
It should be remembered that O'Malley only has an Irish-American name
because it rhymes with "alley" and thus sets up a pretty cool song,
"Thomas O'Malley, The Alley Cat". (Well, and because Phil Harris plays
his voice.)
Hope this helps! -- KT
("Tonight's episode: Joel and the 'bots, dressed as hicks, sing "We're a
Danger to Ourselves and Others," a stream of unfair stereotypes involving
incest and stupidity. Forrester applies a leech to Frank's neck.")
--
I have made a vow to use the word "fuck" in every Usenet message
I post until the Communications Decency Act is repealed.
Fuck you for understanding. -- KT
jnk...@newstand.syr.edu
Honeybuzzzzz (hone...@panix.com) wrote:
: In <4lqml8$a...@panix2.panix.com> da...@panix.com (8) writes:
: What do you want to bet, I'm the only person who will respond to this?
: Unless of course those unmentionable *other* people take over the thread
: out of pure perversity...;)
Just wanted to respond and prove you wrong! Heh! I haven't seen the movie
yet and the last time I saw it I was maybe around five myself. So, I
cannot remember most of it. but those are very valid points you bring up.
There wasnt' that air of PCness back then. You could get away with loads
of shit.
Jameka
wendini
jnk...@newstand.syr.edu () wrote:
>Honeybuzzzzz (hone...@panix.com) wrote:
>: In <4lqml8$a...@panix2.panix.com> da...@panix.com (8) writes:
>: What do you want to bet, I'm the only person who will respond to this?
>: Unless of course those unmentionable *other* people take over the thread
>: out of pure perversity...;)
>Just wanted to respond and prove you wrong! Heh! I haven't seen the movie
>yet and the last time I saw it I was maybe around five myself. So, I
>cannot remember most of it. but those are very valid points you bring up.
>There wasnt' that air of PCness back then. You could get away with loads
>of shit.
You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
because of its high PC content, even though I generally like Disney
films.
My husband brought home Aristocats for me this last Sunday, and I
watched it for the first time ever. It was a fun little film, even if
I did want to wring Marie's little damsel-in-distress neck.....
Wendini, who wonders why people are suddenly so easily offended.....
----------------------
"I like Cal and his dog Napalm
I like Ike and itty-bitty A-Bomb
Everbody got one. I want mine
You can order it up on Channel Nine"
- Sisters of Mercy
wen...@cyberramp.net
http://www.cyberramp.net/~wendini
Rachel Westmoreland
In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>because of its high PC content
not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
--
-------------------------- rwes...@sophia.smith.edu -------------------------
"We have lingered in the chambers of the sea/By sea-girls wreathed with
seaweed red and brown/Till human voices wake us, and we drown." -- T.S. Eliot
----------------------- http://www.smith.edu/~rwestmor -----------------------
8
>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>because of its high PC content
>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
Why not? All the *cool* people are!
hee hee
wendini
rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) wrote:
>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>because of its high PC content
>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
That, too. *Especially* that.
-Wendini-
Kyle S Moyer
In article <4mbe1n$7...@panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>In <4m8pul$f...@sylvia.smith.edu> rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) writes:
>>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
>>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>>because of its high PC content
>>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
well, now they are at least.
--
"it tasted like egg whites" - gina
jody :)
yup... they are :)
love and friends,
jody :)
--
*********************************************
jody tamar match:) (jo-jo on #amnin)
(newly crowned floydian priestess)
e-mail: ma...@earthlink.net
"stay sane inside insanity" - columbia
"let there be songs to fill the air" - gd
http://home.earthlink.net/~match - #amnin rouges gallery
I Am Elitist. :)
8
>In article <4mbe1n$7...@panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>>In <4m8pul$f...@sylvia.smith.edu> rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) writes:
>>>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
>>>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>>>because of its high PC content
>>>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>well, now they are at least.
I was speaking from the perspective that I knew, eventually, you'd post
something to this thread, Kyle.
love,
dave
what were you saying about egg whites again?
--
dave kittredge *** "Helen would remark bitterly, but only once, that
Garp's death was really a kind of suicide, after all. 'In the sense that
his whole *life* was a suicide,' she said, mysteriously. She would later
explain that all she meant was, 'He made people too angry.' ***
Bloodynuckles
Kyle S Moyer wrote:
>
> In article <4mbe1n$7...@panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
> >In <4m8pul$f...@sylvia.smith.edu> rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) writes:
>
> >>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
> >>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>
> >>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
> >>>because of its high PC content
>
> >>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>
> >>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>
> >Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>
> well, now they are at least.
ARE YOU SERIOUS??????
Grano Gina Marie
no way! i just got here!
--
"your boob is a magnet for my hand" -- kyle
}!{
Well, *I* am so cool that I killfiled all of you and avoided reading this
thread completely.
NYAH! :P
>"your boob is a magnet for my hand" -- kyle
Anybody want to trade rooms at NinCon?!? j/k! Hey, I'll be lucky if I even
get to see you, right Kyle? ;)
love,
melissa,
suddenly posting a lot before disappearing...
--
}!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ hone...@panix.com }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{ }!{
8<_>-<_>-<_>-<_>-<8 "There's no distance anymore, there's no wanting when 8
8<_>Melissa Ray>-<8 you're well..." - Difford and Tilbrook 8
8<_>-<_>-<_>-<_>-<8 "The key word is UNFUNKY." - Dave 8
Grano Gina Marie
hone...@panix.com (}!{) writes:
>In <4moik5$g...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> g-g...@students.uiuc.edu (Grano Gina Marie) writes:
>>ksms...@pitt.edu (Kyle S Moyer) writes:
>>>In article <4mbe1n$7...@panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>>>>In <4m8pul$f...@sylvia.smith.edu> rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) writes:
>>>>>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>>>>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>>>>>because of its high PC content
>>>>>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>>>>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>>>>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>>>well, now they are at least.
>>no way! i just got here!
>Well, *I* am so cool that I killfiled all of you and avoided reading this
>thread completely.
yeah, me too ;)
>NYAH! :P
:P~~
>>"your boob is a magnet for my hand" -- kyle
>Anybody want to trade rooms at NinCon?!? j/k! Hey, I'll be lucky if I even
>get to see you, right Kyle? ;)
well, he's actually gonna be switching with sean, and we're not
planning on leaving the room much ;)
>love,
>melissa,
>suddenly posting a lot before disappearing...
love,
gina,
suddenly posting a lot after reappearing...
but i'll be disappearing again in a few days...
--
Grano Gina Marie
da...@panix.com (8) writes:
>>>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>>>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>>well, now they are at least.
>I was speaking from the perspective that I knew, eventually, you'd post
>something to this thread, Kyle.
>love,
>dave
>what were you saying about egg whites again?
mmm...egg whites...
i have a sudden craving for an omlette ;)
Kyle S Moyer
In article <4mkqi4$o...@panix2.panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>In <4mjvot$g...@usenet.srv.cis.pitt.edu> ksms...@pitt.edu (Kyle S Moyer) writes:
>>In article <4mbe1n$7...@panix.com>, 8 <da...@panix.com> wrote:
>>>In <4m8pul$f...@sylvia.smith.edu> rwes...@sophia.smith.edu (Rachel Westmoreland) writes:
>>>>In article <4m6cbs$f...@newshost.cyberramp.net>,
>>>>wendini <wen...@cyberramp.net> wrote:
>>>>>You can say that again!! I steadfastly refused to see Pocahantas
>>>>>because of its high PC content
>>>>not to mention total historical inaccuracy.
>>>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>>>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>>well, now they are at least.
>I was speaking from the perspective that I knew, eventually, you'd post
>something to this thread, Kyle.
well, i'm glad i didn't then.
>what were you saying about egg whites again?
i didn't say anything, it was gina.
--
"it tasted like egg whites"
"i was so overwhelmed by how big it was, i didn't know if i could eat it
all"
- gina
Kyle S Moyer
In article <4mpjku$k...@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>,
Grano Gina Marie <g-g...@students.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>da...@panix.com (8) writes:
>>In <4mjvot$g...@usenet.srv.cis.pitt.edu> ksms...@pitt.edu (Kyle S Moyer) writes:
>>>>>rachel, who can't believe she's posting to this thread
>>>>Why not? All the *cool* people are!
>>>well, now they are at least.
>>I was speaking from the perspective that I knew, eventually, you'd post
>>something to this thread, Kyle.
>>love,
>>dave
>>what were you saying about egg whites again?
>mmm...egg whites...
>i have a sudden craving for an omlette ;)
soon... ;)