PLEASE!!!!!!!! Curtis' death made them a commercial success. If he had
lived they would have had a pathetic american tour with no support or media.
Would have been a waste of time. No American radio stations would have
played ANY Joy Division material. They would have lost their morale and
either broken up eventually, or their 3rd LP would have sucked. Think about
it. How long could that dark gothy momentum have carried them?? What would
they have done after Closer?? crap. The only possible direction would have
been electronic, and Curtis' voice does not fit that sound for commercial
success. Curtis, really, had no chance ever of commercial success. There
is NO WAY Joy Division would have got popular in the U.S.!!!! What are you
smoking???
Curtis' voice could not have made it from goth to the 1980s. If he had not
died, none of us would ever had heard of Closer, and of course there would
be no New Order. Most Americans get into Joy Division thru New Order.
Joy Division would have been like the UK Subs or Buzzcocks, one of those
Brit punk bands that no one knows about....thus, Tony Wilson probably
rejoiced when Curtis died (sorry Tony, just a bad joke...)
> Barney: old, annoying, fat, takes too long to come up with material,
> acts like a three year old on stage, wants loads of money, will never
> be popular with the younger crowd, cares about money and personal
> politics, mumbles and rambles like a disturbed child, fails to write
> chart busting hits even when they should be.
>
> Potts: young, good looking, could write an album full of popular songs
> in a week, takes himself seriously, would probably work alongside
> Hook for free, fits the image of a Brit pop star, doesn't care about
> integrity or 'keeping it real,' can play and sing like Bernard, is
> loved by New Order fans with low expectations.
>
> Kill off Sumner, paste in Potts, print up lots of ads and it would be
> the most intelligent business decision this side of the millennium.
> Their success would just be a matter of promotion and keeping
> the other two/three's mouths shut with loads of money.
Now THAT is a good idea.....you see, Hook is smarter than you think, mister
indigolem....
Yup. I bought a second hand jacket when I was visiting Macclesfield last
year, in a Salvation Army type store. I went in to buy some shirts, but
found this cool dinner jacket, white. Anyway, when I put it on back in the
States, I found a crinkled up piece of paper in the pocket. It was folded in
four, and held a moldy piece of marijuana, some old crusty bud that was
mainly mildew and smelled horrible. It was wrapped in a piece of paper, all
crinkled up and stained.
The sheet reads:
"Deb,
At this point I just can't take it anymore..."
And the rest is all garbled up with stains. Sorry.
If you want, I can sell you this sheet of paper for $900....I guarantee it
is the real thing. I had a handwriting expert verify it against Curtis'
other handwriting. Even tho it is stained and unreadable, I am sure that it
is the real deal, and know that a lot of people must value it. I keep it in
a humidity proof case on my shrine above my desk, next to other holy joy
division relics. (I also have one of Sumner's guitar picks ($50) and Hook's
boot shoestring ($45), as well as an empty lipstick case from Gillian
($55)...all items are for sale).
I would scan the suicide note in for you, but I am afraid someone else might
copy it and sell a forgery....
Again, $900 or higher. I am now taking bids.
-Mat Tarbox
Alexander Kagl <pun...@direkt.at> wrote in message
news:8mv86d$ns0$1...@news.netway.at...
Try 'Closer'.... Or if you're thinking about doing it yourself, try
'Revenge'!
Again,
Donny
I know this is just a joke, but... JD would have been a hell of a lot
more popular if they had actually managed to tour the States. His
death really didn't do much for popularity (with only two albums) and
they're still fairly underground as far as mainstream success is
concerned.
>Watch out for Barney being disposed of next and Pottsy taking over on
>guitar and whoops.
Hell, I could actually see this one happening. I mean just look at the
stats...
Barney: old, annoying, fat, takes too long to come up with material,
acts like a three year old on stage, wants loads of money, will never
be popular with the younger crowd, cares about money and personal
politics, mumbles and rambles like a disturbed child, fails to write
chart busting hits even when they should be.
Potts: young, good looking, could write an album full of popular songs
in a week, takes himself seriously, would probably work alongside
Hook for free, fits the image of a Brit pop star, doesn't care about
integrity or 'keeping it real,' can play and sing like Bernard, is
loved by New Order fans with low expectations.
Kill off Sumner, paste in Potts, print up lots of ads and it would be
the most intelligent business decision this side of the millennium.
Their success would just be a matter of promotion and keeping
the other two/three's mouths shut with loads of money.
---
Indigolem [http://fallingflat.port5.com/]
Really? When was this? The first and only time I heard of JD in
the media was during the release of the soundtrack for The Crow.
Of course that was years after the fact, but whatever. They weren't
a mainstream success, they only had one album to sell!
>If he had lived they would have had a pathetic american tour with no support
>or media.
What about the Closer billboard on Sunset Strip?
>Would have been a waste of time. No American radio stations would have
>played ANY Joy Division material.
So what?
>They would have lost their morale and either broken up eventually, or their 3rd
>LP would have sucked.
LOL, Tarbox, come on, man. People can tour without it being a huge
mainstream success that gets talked about in teen mags. You don't
break up or kill yourself because a tour wasn't mentioned on MTV.
One of the reasons Curtis offed himself was that he was afraid of
mainstream success.
>Think about it. How long could that dark gothy momentum have carried them??
Until they evolved?
>What would they have done after Closer?? crap.
Crap that was better than Movement and along the lines of "These Days"
and "Ceremony," which probably WOULD have been a hit. Think about
it.
>The only possible direction would have been electronic, and Curtis' voice
>does not fit that sound for commercial success.
BS. That's not the only possible direction, just the only one New
Order saw in their shortsightedness. Besides, what about their
guitar tracks? And it doesn't matter what Curtis' voice was like.
There were lots of horrible singers in the 80s. Besides, he was
only 23. His voice would have matured.
>Curtis, really, had no chance ever of commercial success. There
>is NO WAY Joy Division would have got popular in the U.S.!!!! What are you
>smoking???
Right, but the point is that they would have been more successful
alive than dead. You can't deny that, it's simple common sense.
You know they would have done something to gain press.
>Curtis' voice could not have made it from goth to the 1980s.
Like Peter fucking Murphy's voice really made it? Yeah, he went
into obscurity, but he was slightly less intuitive and creative than
Curtis. Ian would not have let his voice hinder his career. He would
sooner kill himself. Oh, that's right...
>If he had not died, none of us would ever had heard of Closer,
Absurd. We didn't hear it because he died, we heard it because
we heard Joy Division was a good band.
>and of course there would be no New Order. Most Americans
>get into Joy Division thru New Order.
So? Who the hell can say they wouldn't have been better and more
popular than New Order? Just because their last recorded effort was
dark doesn't mean they had no hope of progression. They were a
massively progressive band.
>Joy Division would have been like the UK Subs or Buzzcocks, one of those
>Brit punk bands that no one knows about....thus, Tony Wilson probably
>rejoiced when Curtis died (sorry Tony, just a bad joke...)
In America, yeah, but again, Joy Division aren't that fucking popular
in America as a general rule. It's not like the American media says
"ooh, somebody just died! They must have been talented. Quick,
let's hype their remaining art."
---
Indigolem [http://fallingflat.port5.com/]
Come on, you can't seriously buy that argument. Just look at the Cure - they
went from Seventeen Seconds to Faith to Pornography - you can't get much darker
than that - and then their music evolved into a different sound! With lots of
commercial success! And Robert Smith didn't kill himself! My point is that it's
useless to say what kind of music JD would have made if Ian had lived. Nobody
knows, not me, you, Barney, Hooky, nobody. We should just be grateful that New
Order made as much great music that they did.
--
Bill Kody
AOL Screenname is PetShopBoy42
Yahoo pager is PSB42
"Crispy Topping" <jp...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:8mvctj$j24$1...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk...
> Tony Wilson is supposed to have it because it wasn't really a suicide, but
> an elaborate conspiracy to make JD more successful.
> Watch out for Barney being disposed off next and Pottsy taking over on
> guitar and whoops.
>
>
>
I keep
it in
> a humidity proof case on my shrine above my desk, next to other holy
joy
> division relics. (I also have one of Sumner's guitar picks ($50) and
Hook's
> boot shoestring ($45), as well as an empty lipstick case from Gillian
> ($55)...all items are for sale).
>
> I would scan the suicide note in for you, but I am afraid someone else
might
> copy it and sell a forgery....
>
> Again, $900 or higher. I am now taking bids.
>
> -Mat Tarbox
do you also have steven's drumstick from the reading festival, the one
he was scratching himself with? :)
>
>
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Yeah. But is has a funny smell to it, even after all these years. Kind of
like a farm or something. I can't quite place it...
-mat