lyrics to a ditty

[Ann R. Christoffel]

Hi there. I hope one of you out there can help me. I remember only
the first verse of a silly little ditty my father used to sing to me
when I was young. It goes like this:

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory.
They were there from Monday through Saturday.
Nobody knew they were there.

The next verse goes on to tell who they are--one is the governor's
wife, etc. I just don't remember any further!

Thanks!

[mYbLoOdYvAlEnTiNe]

guysss... i need lyrics from the styx greatest hit badly!! please help
me...

meee....:)

[Edie Gale Hays]

Ann R. Christoffel (a...@gol.com) wrote:
: Hi there. I hope one of you out there can help me. I remember only

A friend of mine learned it as TWO OLD LADIES. The title I see it under
most often nowadays is SEVEN OLD LADIES, but it seems everyone who sings
if has seven *different* ladies so if you put the songs all together you
get a couple of dozen old ladies, each lady having her own verse and
predicament.

I will look through my files and post all of the lyrics I can find.

Edie

[Edie Gale Hays]

To the tune of
"Oh Dear What Can the Matter Be (Johhny's So Long At The Fair)"

SEVEN OLD LADIES

Chorus: Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies were locked in the lavatUry
They were there from Monday Util Saturday
And nobody knew they were there.

The first old lady was Elizabeth Porter.
She was the deacon of DorchesterUs daughter.
She went to relieve a slight pressure of water
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The second old lady was Abigail Splatter
She went there Ucause something was surely the matter
But when she got there, it was only her bladder.
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The third old lady was Amelia Garpinkle.
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.
She hurdled the door; sheUd forgotten her nickle
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The fourth old lady was Hildegard Folye.
She hadnUt been living according to Hoyle.
Was relieved when the swelling was only a boil
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The fifth old lady was Emily Clancy.
She went there Ucause something tickled her fancy.
But when she got there it was ants in her pantsy
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The sixth old lady was extremely fertile.
Her name was OUConnor, the boys called her Myrtle.
She went there to repair a slight hole in her girdle
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The seventh old lady was Elizabeth Bender.
She went there to repair a broken suspender.
It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender
And nobody knew she was there. Chorus

The janitor came in early one morning.
He opened the door without any warning.
The seven old ladies their seats were adorning
And nobody knew they were there.

************************
SEVEN OLD LADIES (More)
-Anonymous (courtesy of Joe Bethancourt)

Chorus: Oh dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory.
They were there from Sunday til Saturday.

Nobody knew they were there.

They said they were going to have tea with the vicar
So they went in together cause they thought it was quicker
But the lavatory door was a bit of a sticker
And nobody knew they were there. (Chorus)

Now the first was the wife of a deacon from Dover
And though she was known as a bit of a rover
She liked it so much that she thought she'd stay over
And nobody knew she was there. (Chorus)

Now the next was the bishop of Chichester's daughter
Who went in to pass some superfluous water
She pulled on the chain & the rising tide caught her
And nobody knew she was there. (Chorus)

Now the next old gal was Abigail Humphrey
Who settled inside just to make herself comfy
Then she found out that she could not get her bum free
And nobody knew she was there. (Chorus)

Now another old lady was Elizabeth Bender
Who was doing all right till a vagrant suspender
Somehow got caught in a feminine gender
And nobody knew she was there. (Chorus)

The next old lady was old Mrs. Draper
She went in to find there was no paper
The only thing there was a brick layers scraper
And nobody knew she was there. (Chorus)

The last old lady was old Mrs. Mason
She had to go quick so she went in the basin
And that was the water that I washed my face in
Cause I didn't know she was there. (Chorus)

An alternate chorus courtesy of Kihe Blackeagle:
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory.
In on a Sunday and out on a Saturday.

Nobody knew they were there.

**************************************
And even MORE verses courtesy of Cally Soukup!

The first old lady was Elizabeth Porter.
She was the Deacon of Dorchester's daughter.
She went to relieve a slight pressure of water,
And nobody knew she was there.

The second old lady was Abigail Splatter,
She went there 'cause something was surely the matter.
When she got there, it was only her bladder,
And nobody knew she was there.

The third old lady was Amoeba Garpickle,
Her urge was sincere, her reaction was fickle.
She hurdled the door, she'd forgotten her nickel,
And nobody knew she was there.

The fourth old lady was Hildegarde Foyle.
She hadn't been living according to Hoyle;
Was relieved when the swelling was only a boil,
And nobody knew she was there.

The fifth old lady was Emily Grancy,
She went there 'cause something had tickled her fancy,
When she got there, it was ants in her pantsy,
And nobody knew she was there.

The sixth old lady was extremely fertile,
Her name was O'Connor, the boys called her Myrtle,
She went there to repair a hole in her girdle,
And nobody knew she was there.

The seventh old lady was Agatha Bender,
She went there to repair a broken suspender,
It snapped up and ruined her feminine gender,
And nobody knew she was there.

The janitor came in the early morning,
He opened the door without any warning.
The seven old ladies their seats were adorning,
And nobody knew they were there.
--words transcribedfwm the Nesfa Hymnal.

[she...@gmail.com]

Three Old Ladies

Oh, dear, what can the matter be

Three old ladies locked in the lavatory

They were there from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first one's name was Elizabeth Porter
She went in to be rid of some overdue water
And she stayed there far more than she ought to

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS

The second one's name was Elizabeth Pomphrey
She went in and made herself comfy
Then she said: "Girls, I can't get my bum free."

And nobody knew she was there

CHORUS

The last one's name was Elizabeth Carter
She was known as a world renowned farter
She went in and played a sonata

And nobody knew she was there.

CHORUS

[rla...@gmail.com]

lady?????????? "The first to come in was old Mrs. Flynn-------------?

[Mack A. Damia]

On Sat, 23 Jun 2018 11:28:36 -0700 (PDT), rla...@gmail.com wrote:

>lady?????????? "The first to come in was old Mrs. Flynn-------------?

Google is your friend.

"Seven Old Ladies"

The first to go in was old Mrs. Flynn,
She prided herself on being so thin,
But when she sat down, she fell right in,

And nobody knew she was there.

The next to go in was old Mrs. Humphrey,
When she sat down, she got cozy and comfy,
But when she stood up she couldn't get her bum free,

And nobody knew she was there.

The next to go in was old Mrs. Brewstter,
Who I couldn't see as good as she used to,
When she sat down, she swore somebody goosed her,

And nobody knew she was there.

The next to go in was old Mrs. Fender
who went in to fix a broken suspender,
It snapped and injured her feminine gender

And nobody knew she was there.

The next to go in was old Mrs. Draper
Who couldn't find the toilet paper,
All she could find was a rust paint scraper,

And nobody knew she was there.

The next to go in was old Mrs. Murray,
who had to go in a hell of a hurry,
When she got there, there was no need to worry,

And nobody knew she was there.

The last to go in was old Mrs. Mason
There wasn't a place, so she went in the basin,
And that's the one that I washed my face in,

And nobody knew she was there.

http://www.horntip.com/mp3/2000s/2000_gross_songs__peter_pan_pixie_players_(CD)/28_seven_old_ladies.htm

[jve...@gmail.com]

On Tuesday, May 28, 1996 at 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Ann R. Christoffel wrote:
> Hi there. I hope one of you out there can help me. I remember only
> the first verse of a silly little ditty my father used to sing to me
> when I was young. It goes like this:
>

> Oh dear, what can the matter be?
> Three old ladies locked in the lavatory.
> They were there from Monday through Saturday.

> Nobody knew they were there.
>

> The next verse goes on to tell who they are--one is the governor's
> wife, etc. I just don't remember any further!
>

> Thanks!

By the way, I just heard this ditty as part of the 1961 movie "A Taste of Honey" sung by children

[Jon Gold]

PART #1 Side A
https://archive.org/details/78_16-old-ladies-locked-in-the-lavatory_herbi-hardt-and-his-jesters_gbia0000266a
PART #2 Side B
https://archive.org/details/78_16-old-ladies-locked-in-the-lavatory_herbi-hardt-and-his-jesters_gbia0000266b

[Glasgow Brian]

May I please add my folk pub version, just finished today. I’m very pleased with it and hope you like it. There are as many versions as song writers.

Oh Dear, What can the Matter be

Chorus:
Oh dear what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in a lavatory
They’ve been there from Monday to Saturday

Nobody knew they were there

Verses:
The first old maid was Judy O’Flanagan
Known for causing many a shenanigan
When she sat down she got stuck in the pan again
Everyone left her stuck there

The second old maid was Shirley St. Clair
She only popped in to brush her long hair
Got comfy on her derrière
And fell asleep in the chair

The third old maid was Gwendoline Carter
She was known as a really good farter
She let one go and it blew off her garter
And shattered the lock on her door

Brian S Farley 2021
Herts, England

[Sandy M]

[Sandy M]