REQ:"I am the very model of a modern major General..."
Katherine McKelvey
On 7 Aug 1997 15:57:49 GMT, bpart...@aol.com (BPartri296) wrote:
>Some time back someone posted these lyrics, but I lost the file I saved it
>in. Can someone please post it again.
Here goes.. (I hope you wanted the original :)
Major General (from Pirates of Penzance, by Gilbert and Sullivan)
1st verse:
I am the very model of a modern major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Mandarin to Waterloo, in order categorical.
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem, I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!
(With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypote-pote-nuse!)
I am very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animaculus,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general!
(In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major-general!)
2nd verse:
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's,
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox.
I quote in eligiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus.
In conics, I can floor peculiarities parabolus.
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zophanes,
I know the croaking chorus from the "Frogs" of Aristophenes.
Then I can hum a fugue, of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs of that infernal nonsense, "Pinafore"!
(And whistle all the airs of that infernal nonsense, "Pinafore"!
And whistle all the airs of that infernal nonsense, "Pinafore"!
And whistle all the airs of that infernal nonsense, "Pina-pina-fore"!)
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuniform,
And tell you all the details of Caractacus's uniform.
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major-general!
(In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major-general!)
3rd verse:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin,"
When I can tell at sight a mouser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat,"
When I have learned what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery,
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better major-general has never set a gee!
(You'll say a better major-general has never "set a gee"??
You'll say a better major-general has never set a gee!
You'll say a better major-general has never set a-set a gee!)
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century.
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I'm still the very model of a modern major-general!
(But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He's still the very model of a modern major-general!)
Whew! I need to rest my hands. Sorry about any typos or
mis-spellings.. it's from memory.
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Katherine L. McKelvey
PC Network Administrator
Space Science and Engineering Center
UW-Madison
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--Views expressed in this post do not necessarily reflect
those of the SSEC.
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