A Day In The Life Of Wilturd
wilturd
never leave the house. I got fed up by people laughing at me and
ignoring me. I still remember how the bullies got me at high school...
I was a social outcast. I still am, BUT now I've got a computer! I
found this newsgroup about a band called Jethro Tull. I spend all of my
time posting to that newsgroup now. Also a lot of time goes into
registrating to dejanews and remarq with new handles. Then I have to
constantly log on and sign out, using all those different handles. The
internet is great, because I can really make a fuss, and nobody can see
how ugly I am and make fun of me, like they do in the real world. My
latest persona is Morris Minus. It's nice to have different names.
Usually, I post something as wilturd, then I sign off and reply as
Morris, then I log off again and reply to that as Joe Alden, or as
Bible Tull, or as Poonytang, etc. It is a lot of work, but I really
love it when I see a whole thread filled by myself. I even get a
tingling feeling in my willy when I see that! I dream a lot about
having sex with men these days. Women always despised me. That's why I
like being rude to them on amj-t. I hate women. But I don't want to be
gay, so therefor I just sign off with "w - Homophobic". But with my
"poony" handle I must admit that I stalk a man, Jeronimo. I never
forget to mention him in my posts. Whenever I write about him, I stroke
my little willy. I can't stand it that he never replies to my posts! A
shrink once told me I am very jealous. But hey! Everybody else gets all
the nice things, and I am here all alone!
I'm really jealous about Greg Russo, for he wrote a book. But don't
worry, I will post some nasty replies to him on amj-t. Also with
everyone who ever got a congratulation for their birthday. Hell, no one
ever congratulated me! I hate them for that. And they always keep
petting eachother on the back. I think they all know eachother or
something. And they are shutting me out!! I will take revenge for that.
A lot of times I don't even know what they are talking about. I know
nothing about Jethro Tull, but there's enough on the internet to find.
Ha, everytime I mention Jethro Tull, SDM sucks my dick and tells me and
the others how clever I am and that I can be really funny if I want to.
And I also got a friend from Australia, Derek Wuss. So there! Revenge
to all the bullies. Because I don't go out anymore, I can't stand it
when someone goes on a trip to distant countries. That's why I hate
Jeronimo so much. He went to South America. It's not fair! To
compensate, I make up little trips in my fantasy world. For example, I
let my Poony character go on a trip to Amsterdam (gay capitol of the
world) and Copenhagen. It's all in the mind, just like my little sexual
fantasies, but it gives me pleasure.
I watched a movie about WWII once. Wow! Those uniforms were neat. I
wish I could walk around like that and tell everybody what to do. Damn,
I always drool on my keyboard when I think of that! I love saying
things in German, like schwien, and untermensch. When in my poony mode,
I always sign off with SH: Seig Heil! Just like Hitler, who I think was
a cool dude. I takes a lot of work and a lot of thinking to use so many
different handles. Sometimes, I make a mistake, like recently, when I
signed with w while I was still logged on as Bible Tull. I hate it when
that happens! It happened before with Joe Alden. But I gave that a real
clever twist. I also hate it when someone says something smart to me,
like Wil Scarlock does. I can never come up with a reply to him,
because I don't even know what he says. But I'm sure it's bad what he
says. Luckily for me, some of the real people at amj-t are still stupid
enough to reply to my posts. Whenever I went a bit too far, it only
takes one 'nice and friendly' post of me and they forgive me all my
hate posts of the past. That's how gullible they are. I can take
advantage of that! And I do.
Sometimes I find a subject with which I can really get them. I can
still get a lot of replies when I write about bootlegs. The truth of
the matter is that I am just jealous of them that they get all those
boots and I am here alone having nothing, but I act as if I take a
moral stand and a lot of them buy it. I will protect Ian's rights and
constantly say that! Who knows, maybe he lurks and finally sends me
something, like a promo cd. EVERYBODY has already a promo cd of SLOB
and I have got nothing! I hate them for that and believe me, I will try
to make them pay! It's nice to make up things, like I am different
persons, and we all have wives. Or just make up that I really went to a
Tull concert. Damn that Laufi guy, when he saw through that by asking
me about the Aqualung solo. It got almost clear that it was only in my
dreams that I went to a real concert! I just ignored that post. Same as
yesterday, when someone made fun of me, because I missed an obvious
joke about the 25th Anniversary Video. Of course I've never seen that
one. What do I know about Tull? Nothing. But I will get them!! All
those real fans. They have fun while I am here alone. The doctor says
it's normal for me to have multiple persona's. But I never go to see
that doctor anymore. I won't leave the house. All the world laughs at
me in a nasty way. Better hide here on the internet. Now I go sign off
and reply to this mesage as one of my other characters.
w - Knowing Oneself Is The Beginning Of Wisdom
* Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet's Discussion Network *
The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet - Free!
Derek Nuss
An amazing waste of bandwith.
D
Derek Nuss
Fuck it...I need to say more.
What, you sanctimonious handwringer, is the difference between this post
and the kind of post you're agitating against ?? Nuttin.
Ah, but it's satire I hear you cry.
Our regular amj-t trolls would, I expect, make the same claim - and their
posts at least do often have some humour, unlike this derative piece of
self-congratulating waffle which, apart from self aggrandisment, serves
only to maintain this ridiculous us and them divide which I had hoped we
were getting over.
For the record, I don't always agree with every troll post but because I
believe this should be an open forum, and because I believe that
everyone I've met on amj-t is basically good and decent - I'm prepared to
wear any posts here, theirs, mine and even yours.
But even wilburnn and poonytang make germane remarks and
regularly contribute intelligently to Tull discussion in amongst the
mischief.
Have you, our little faux 'wilturd' ?
D
On Sat, 29 Jan 2000, wilturd wrote:
Morris Minus
hat into the ring on this one. (Don't worry, I'll be back in one of my
other guises.)
As the August PoonyT once said: Jeronimo is on his period again.
So, tell me, Jerkoffimo, did it feel good to finally lash back?
w - Concerned For The Lad's Mental State And His Arteries
I mean,
SH!
I mean,
m
I mean, WHO AM I TODAY????? I MUST CALL MY DOCTOR SO HE CAN TELL ME!
wilburnn
<wilturd...@yahoo.com.invalid> wrote a whole bunch of stuff:
You have caught the essence of wilburn(n). I can dispute nothing.
w - Giggling
Great Deceiver
except:
What about me? Idiot.
GD
Jesus Smith
of characters but leaving out:
"May Iangod smite you with his flute on your empty head."
JS - I Hate Clowns
Bible Tull
personas striking particular fear in the heart and soul of Bible Tull
who sayeth:
"I tell you, wilturd, before the rooster crows today, I will deny three
times that I know you".
BT
Mr. Friendly 2000
mistakenly forgotten:
Me... the guy who, along with Bengal, negotiated the peace pact with
SSmith's Nazi Patrol and Poogie aka Lendino.
Why am I never worthy of mention, dickless!
MF 2000
Todd Lowenstein
>
>Fuck it...I need to say more.
>
>What, you sanctimonious handwringer, is the difference between this post
>and the kind of post you're agitating against ?? Nuttin.
>
>Ah, but it's satire I hear you cry.
I only read this far in Derek's post. I don't know if there is a
"difference" between irritating people like wilburnn or parodizing it like
wilturd, but if one is postable then so is the other. Overall, I'd say
the best response is "whatever". What takes the author a long time to
write only takes the reader a second to ignore.
Todd
Morris Minus
again...Didn't the amj-t electroshock therapy teach you anything?
yossarian
Derek Nuss
Todd,
Why you would feel constrained to comment on my post after reading a few
sentences escapes me. I wonder why you didn't just ignore me.
If you had read ny thoughts in their entirety you would have seen that I
do not dispute anyone's right to post here, even wilturd's.
I did ask the question though as to why, unlike the trolls who do often
have something to offer to discussion, wilturd has, to my knowledge, thus
far never discussed Tull. If I want parody I'll listen to the Rutles...
D
On 29 Jan 2000, Todd Lowenstein wrote:
> Derek Nuss <s31...@student.uq.edu.au> wrote:
> >
> >Fuck it...I need to say more.
> >
> >What, you sanctimonious handwringer, is the difference between this post
> >and the kind of post you're agitating against ?? Nuttin.
> >
> >Ah, but it's satire I hear you cry.
>
Todd Lowenstein
Geez, lighten up. I did not feel "constrained", but rather "free" to make
a comment on the question asked up front. That's all that was intended.
Sorry if you took it personally somehow.
Todd
Derek Nuss <s31...@student.uq.edu.au> wrote:
>
>Todd,
>
>Why you would feel constrained to comment on my post after reading a few
>sentences escapes me. I wonder why you didn't just ignore me.
>
>If you had read ny thoughts in their entirety you would have seen that I
>do not dispute anyone's right to post here, even wilturd's.
>
>I did ask the question though as to why, unlike the trolls who do often
>have something to offer to discussion, wilturd has, to my knowledge, thus
>far never discussed Tull. If I want parody I'll listen to the Rutles...
>
>D
>
>
>
>On 29 Jan 2000, Todd Lowenstein wrote:
>
>> Derek Nuss <s31...@student.uq.edu.au> wrote:
>> >
>> >Fuck it...I need to say more.
>> >
>> >What, you sanctimonious handwringer, is the difference between this post
>> >and the kind of post you're agitating against ?? Nuttin.
>> >
>> >Ah, but it's satire I hear you cry.
>>
Derek Nuss
Point taken, Todd. Never let it be said I prevented ANYONE from posting
here.
But if you post something that simply echoes a point made in my post that
you didn't read, you have to expect a reply...and that, baby, is what you
got...
D
On 30 Jan 2000, Todd Lowenstein wrote:
>
>
> Geez, lighten up. I did not feel "constrained", but rather "free" to make
> a comment on the question asked up front. That's all that was intended.
> Sorry if you took it personally somehow.
>
> Todd
>
>
> Derek Nuss <s31...@student.uq.edu.au> wrote:
> >
> >Todd,
> >
> >Why you would feel constrained to comment on my post after reading a few
> >sentences escapes me. I wonder why you didn't just ignore me.
> >
> >If you had read ny thoughts in their entirety you would have seen that I
> >do not dispute anyone's right to post here, even wilturd's.
> >
> >I did ask the question though as to why, unlike the trolls who do often
> >have something to offer to discussion, wilturd has, to my knowledge, thus
> >far never discussed Tull. If I want parody I'll listen to the Rutles...
> >
> >D
> >
> >
> >
> >On 29 Jan 2000, Todd Lowenstein wrote:
> >
> >> Derek Nuss <s31...@student.uq.edu.au> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >Fuck it...I need to say more.
> >> >
> >> >What, you sanctimonious handwringer, is the difference between this post
> >> >and the kind of post you're agitating against ?? Nuttin.
> >> >
> >> >Ah, but it's satire I hear you cry.
> >>
Derek Nuss
Well, I save on lightbulbs...
D
On Sat, 29 Jan 2000, Morris Minus wrote:
> Careful, Mr.Nuss...you're displaying "subversive, independant thoughts"
> again...Didn't the amj-t electroshock therapy teach you anything?
>
> m
>
>
poon...@my-deja.com
say jeronimo because one of the chief problems that all of us in Troll
Central have with this untermensch's posts is their triteness and
ability to say nothing but call attention to j-fag. This post is a
clear cunt example of this. Notice how it only mentions one target of
troll posts: the infamous Holland-Homo.
The other major problem with the Amster-damsel is the fact that his
posts are totally unoriginal-usually being copies of other well thought
out posts or just "meeeeee-toooooo" posts. This attack on w is just a
cut and paste job that reflects what other "regulars" have attempted to
do in the past.
As usual the Tulip-twat is way off base in accusing all the named
personalities to be wilburn. At the Troll Convention yesterday in
Atlanta, we were having a right chuckle over this. If the Dutch Daisy
only knew who Morris REALLY was, he would be bent over a chair with his
tampax ribbon peeking out.
The fact that jeronhomo claims that w knows nothing about Tull and how
bad it is for w to be against bootlegging only reinforces the fact that
he is just an ignorant thief. Even the band members have the lowest
disregard for your ilk.
Anyway Heinie-can, you have proved that you are an amateur and really
not worthy of trolling in the big leagues yet. You should work with
SSmith/AR and some of the others in the minors to work out your kinks.
Then try and take on the big boys. Right now you are an embarassment to
all the regulars who are sending US private emails about what a DICK
*you* are.
Honestly jeroniblow, you should really go into a corner and hang your
head in shame for you truly are a self-centered little child whose day
has come and gone. No one except the trolls respond to your posts and
you have lost your standing as the fag the girls would most like to
dance with to AR.
Troll Rating: 0.0345 out of a possible 17,903,478.9823. And that's for
having better spelling skills than SSmith/SF
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Comrade Joe!
hate your guts as well you slimy shitlicker!!!!!
have a nice day :))))))))))))))
Derek Nuss
With a name like Yossarian, you should be more discerning with regards
your choice of satire
D
Patty Ashton
it should be ashamed. I hope you have a good reason. Sorry if my
opinion pokes you in the ribs hard.
Patty
Like the Kipling cat, I walk alone -
Never inviting trouble, never casting the stone.
wilburnn
yossarian
> Glad to see you got your privileges back.
>
> w
Thanks (really!) I have a whole new appreciation of
what you go through.
Best,
JY
sdavmor
For what, may I ask? I'm astonished.
Surely it was _not_ for those minor comments in your discussion with
wilburn a few days ago?
--
Steven Davies-Morris (SDM) -- A 21st Century Schizoid Man
Personal: http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/Island/1274
Systems Theory: http://systemstheory.net/
NP: JAG on CBS
"yossarian" <tul...@bowlinggreen.net> wrote in message
news:38978B...@bowlinggreen.net...
Casey
>
> Careful, Mr.Nuss...you're displaying "subversive, independant thoughts"
> again...Didn't the amj-t electroshock therapy teach you anything?
>
> m
Hey Scarecrow!
Is that you?
--
-Casey
Please visit my website at:
Http://www.angelfire.com/mi/nitecap/index.html
yossarian
>
> John, are you saying that _you_ got whacked by your ISP?
>
> For what, may I ask? I'm astonished.
>
> Surely it was _not_ for those minor comments in your discussion with
> wilburn a few days ago?
Don't be too shocked in this day and age. All is well now that I've
been reminded that we live in the dear ole U.S.of A. (At least I
thought I did!)