morning view review....

im just a bill

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Nov 21, 2001, 11:17:30 AM11/21/01

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I don't even know where to begin here. Incubus, a California-based group that
was at one time one of my absolute favorite bands, has gone pussy rock on me.
Hell, I don't even know if it's fair to use the word "rock" here. Sure, there
are a few loud tunes on here, like the first two tracks and "Aqueous
Transmission", but they aren't really rock songs. They're just pop songs played
at a high volume. But since it's my duty to tell all of you what is good and
what is not, I'll try to explain in proper English why Morning View is just
awful.

You may have already heard the first single from this record, "Wish You Were
Here". If you have, you were probably surprised (as I was) to learn that it is
not, in fact, a cover of one of the five best Pink Floyd songs. Rather it is a
tool in rocker's clothing, a song pretending to be ballsy when it's really more
estrogen-fueled than Rosie O'Donnell. The chorus is weak, the verses make Sugar
Ray sound like a thrash metal band, and the overall effect is basically to bore
the listener. Since I knew how bad the single was before picking up the album,
I wasn't expecting much. I was pleasantly surprised when "Nice To Know You"
picked up a bit after the first forty-five seconds or so, and "Circles" is
actually a really good song. Then I got to the single, so I skipped. And folks,
it just gets worse and worse from there.

Brandon Boyd was never the most masculine guy in the world, but somewhere down
the line he decided that he's really a lesbian. He shaved his dreds and facial
hair for a more clean-cut look, which, combined with his tendency to perform
topless, makes the sixteen year old girls scream. Then he saw how well
"Stellar" did on the radio and said, "Hey, now I know what Mark McGrath was
doing with the last three horrible Sugar Ray records!" And now Incubus is
following that path to suckdom laid out so clearly by the band that went from
"10 Seconds Down" to "Someday". "Just A Phase" and "11 am" are just lame, lame,
lame. "Blood on the Ground" and "Mexico" are even worse. "Warning" completely
blows, but then "Echo" gives you some shimmer of hope that the last fourth of
the album will be decent. Nope. It's right back to self-fellating with "Have
You Ever". The album continues to make your ears bleed until "Aqueous
Transmission", which attempts to take the album out with a bang.

The only bang this record produces, however, is the sound of the case smashing
against the wall as I hurl it across the room. This is utter garbage folks. I
defended Make Yourself when it came out and maintain that it was a pretty darn
good album, but I can't defend this. SCIENCE is still one of the best rock
albums of the 90's in my book, but between 1997 and 2001 the band dropped from
ten testicles to one. And when five guys are sharing one nut, it's a bad thing.
No longer does Incubus produce catchy, intelligent songs about sitting at green
lights, talking over tin can phones and a curious desire to be a male stripper.
Gone are the incredible feats of music like "Deep Inside", "Vitamin" and
"Calgone". Instead we're left with crap like this: "I dig my toes into the sand
/ the ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket / I
lean against the wind / pretend I'm weightless / and in this moment I am
happy". Ugh.

As if there weren't already a hundred really good reasons to hate this album,
I'm going to give you a bad one. The artwork is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. I'm no
homophobe and I see nothing wrong with gayity, but this is just obscenely
queer. The back cover features the band sitting on a wall staring out over the
ocean, with DJ Kilmore resting against his bandmate's shoulder. The front cover
is waves lapping up against a shore. Pretty picture, but I thought this was
supposed to be a rock band? Then there's all the cute pictures interspersed
amongst the lyrics, including shots of the guys playing in the pool, sleeping
on a couch, doing gymnastics in the car and recording (topless) in the studio.
Riiiiiight.

The scary part is, according to another picture inside the CD cover Incubus
recorded eighteen songs for this thirteen song record. Can you imagine how
awful the five songs that didn't make the cut must be? Yeesh.
_______
b!ll((8))

"Octagons won't fit in circles cuz rectangles are made out of cheese...You're
welcome."-Perry Saturn
"i've got something staley doesn't- the will to go outside."-Joe

Dennis Lokkers

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Nov 21, 2001, 11:55:58 AM11/21/01

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I wonder if whitetrashdevil.com even listened to the album, Aqueous
Transmission is the slowest and most mellow song on the album, and he
described it as the only rock song and that it ends the album with a bang.
Which bang??
I think he should listen and then write a review about this great album.

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Nov 23, 2001, 4:35:35 AM11/23/01

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"I'm Not A Loser/I'm So Emo" <godzu...@home.com> wrote in message
news:D7dL7.171780$ez.22...@news1.rdc1.nj.home.com...

> ----------
> In article <9theoq$5io$2...@news8.svr.pol.co.uk>, "Jon Nickson"
> <jon_n...@SPAAAAAAAAMyahoo.co.uk> wrote:
>
>
> >> Wow. That reviewer sure appears to be insecure of his masculinity.
> >
> > Aren't we all?
> > *ahem*
> >
> I'm wearing bell-bottoms right now.
> -Kevin

I'm wearing bell-bottom-esque wide leg pants (probably 36" circumference at
least). I also have nicely applied black eyeliner on with a touch of
mascara, some light, white eyeshadow blended smoothly with a touch of blue
on the sides in addition to steel metal nail polish. In addition to that I
suppose in terms of "femine" things I have two ear piercings which are of
small spiders with have faux-diamonds for abdomens. Then there are the
various bracelets but that's more commonly accepted now-a-days (thank
goodness). I also have bitch bangs which I've heard some girls
(surprisingly nice and fairly opened minded ones too) say that "bangs don't
look on guys". Well BLEH to that I say.

Sorry for the long post: I'm very sleepy and probably a tad bit delusional
and should be heading off to bead. Goodnight everyone.

--

xM錞T W。！錗
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
np: AP2 - Ressurection of the Ravens
Alternative PDX Music
http://members.home.net/cnsdave1/pdx/index.html
*meep*
"I hate when lanes end."

fluffy pink sheep

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Nov 23, 2001, 1:49:13 PM11/23/01

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u sound very cool, i think men that wear make up and such clothes just look
sooo cool, and if they hav the guts to do it then they r even better. iv
made my bf wear make up b4 he looked kinda cool, excpet i had to apply it
all an dthen all his frends made me write the hate part of hatebreed's logo
on his, i was amazed at how good that looked considering....... neway im now
talkin arse so bye
stay funky

"DemilinX" <demi...@juno.com> wrote in message
news:HLoL7.62664$XJ4.36...@news1.sttln1.wa.home.com...

Melissa Webber

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Nov 23, 2001, 3:06:36 PM11/23/01

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fluffy pink sheep <ch...@ollub.freeserve.co.uk> wrote

> u sound very cool, i think men that wear make up and such clothes just
look
> sooo cool, and if they hav the guts to do it then they r even better.

*agrees*
surely they do have the guts to do it if they do wear it though? heh

Mel
xxx

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