The New FUQ II - 2.0c

[Richard Karsmakers]

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Welcome to
the 'official' unauthorized and unofficial
GWAR FUQ II 2.0c
(29 October 1996)
(If you want to find out the latest news, skip to 6.0!)

DISCLAIMER

Before you read anything else, it needs to be emphasized that most
information in here is not guaranteed to be 100% correct! Even so, every
possible care has been taken to assure optimum accuracy.

This document looks most like the way it ought to in Courier at size 10.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
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1 The beginning of the end

1.0 Hell-O 2 U!
1.1 What the FUQ?!
1.2 How to get updated versions of this thang
1.3 How to make this thing so brilliant even GWAR might approve
1.4 Hell-O - is it me you're looking for?

2 Introducing GWAR in several easy lessons

2.0 What's GWAR?
2.1 Where did the name cum from?
2.2 What exactly is the Slave Pit?
2.3 The history of GWAR
2.4 What members are GWAR?
2.5 Where to see GWAR

3 The characters in GWAR

3.0 The band
3.1 GWAR's enemies

4 GWARography

5.0 Stuff they've done
5.1 The albums
5.2 The videos
5.3 The lyrics
5.3a Hell-O
5.3b Scumdogs of the Universe
5.3c America Must be Destroyed
5.3d This Toilet Earth
5.3e Ragnarok
5.3z You Have the Right to Remain Silent
5.4 GWAR gigs
5.5 GWAR and video games

6 Various bits'n'bobs

6.0 From the grapevine...
6.1 Death Piggy / RAWG / X-Cops
6.1a Death Piggy
6.1b RAWG
6.1c X-Cops
6.2 Slave Pit Inc.
6.3a GWAR-related URLs
6.3b GWAR on IRC
6.4 Have You Seen Me?
6.4a The Joan Rivers Interview
6.5 Thanks
6.6 Version History

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I: THE BEGINNING OF THE END

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

1.0 HELL-O 2 U!

Well, this is it. GWAR knows how long it's been since this FUQ was properly
updated, but now it's finally happened. What you have here, in your grubby
hands or randomly accessible memory respectively, is a proper overdose of
GWAR-related trivia designed purely for GWAR fanatics' satisfaction, with as
many puns as possible thrown in for excellent accord. Also, it can function
as a hallowed vehicle to introduce into the fabulously versatile and rather
frightfully naughty world of GWAR those who as yet still have rimmed butts
or physiques otherwise not yet squirted or bled on.
In case you are not familiar with the concept of FAQs (or, for that matter,
FUQs, in which case you're a particularly sad excuse for an individual
indeed), read the next paragraph. GWAR knows you'll need it.

1.1 What the FUQ?!

FUQ is a takeoff on the ever popular FAQ files that pollute the Internet.
FAQ simple stands for "Frequently Asked Question". But as of late it has
come to indicate a text-file full of information about a certain subject.
And you can get one for just about anything at all: Television shows, music
groups, sex, drugs, masturbation, suicide, you name it! But if we're going
to get really technical, this really isn't a FAQ, because not many people
ask the questions addressed in this text file at all, let alone ask them
frequently. Hence the name FUQ (pronounced like "fuck") which stands for
"Frequently Unasked Questions".

1.2 How to get updated versions of this thang

This file was started somewhere in the mythological past of alt.music.gwar.
The precise date only GWAR knows, but that's not really all that important
anyway. What is important is that this is the first major revamp since 1.0,
which was the very first installment. But there'll be more or less frequent
updates, of course, which will be posted to alt.music.gwar and put on a WWW
site at the URL http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/1084/gwarfuq2.txt
(thanks to Tim Link!). I am currently also looking for a GWAR-dedicated FTP
site that it can be uploaded to (yes, this is a hint, and hopefully not too
subtle a one). If you email me at cro...@worldaccess.nl with the subject
line of "FUQ ME" I will put you on the mailing list for the FUQ and send it
out to you every time it gets released.

1.3 How to make this thing so brilliant even GWAR might approve

First of all, please distribute this to FTP sites, WWW sites, bulletin
board and whichever other places you deem fit. The word must get around so
the world at large knows about GWAR and the morally just things they stand
for. And you all realize that people who read about GWAR are likely to check
their stuff out, thus earning GWAR the money they need to bring us even more
spectacularly entertaining and awesomely profane shows.
Second, if you notice anything - anything AT ALL - that is either incorrect
or incomplete, please feel free to fill in the gaps (possibly with source
reference). This FUQ should approach immaculate GWAR-like imperfection ever
closer with every release that is bestowed onto a baffled mankind. Several
sections are as yet horribly incomplete, so help is appreciated and, indeed,
wanted (especially GWAR activities in the multimedia/computer games area
(Doom II?), as well as a full list of any gigs they've ever played, and
missing dates of birth and current membership status on some of 'em). You
can start by just sending me the dates and venues of all gigs you've seen
them on that are not yet in this FUQ II. Cheers!

1.4 Hell-O - is it me you're looking for?

Although this FUQ II was based on a lot of work done by a different author
(Gwarrior, indebted to whom I am immeasurably), I shall nonetheless waste a
few words on my insignificant self a bit here.
I am a 28-year old student - the fact that I am a studying to get teacher
qualification tends to be a dangerous development for the youth of tomorrow
- who got into decent music at the age of 13. Via Kiss, Deep Purple, Saxon
and Venom I eventually got to the stage where I seriously liked GWAR. I got
introduced to them in 1990 when a friend of mine had bought "Scumdogs" just
so he could let me listen to it and then sell it to me. His strategy worked,
and turned me into an aficionado. I have interviewed GWAR once, and X-Cops
too. Curiously enough, none of my numerous orifices remember anything vile
having happened to them. Maybe I just blocked it away.
Other tripe I listen to includes Entombed, Obituary, Dream Theater,
Metallica (including "Load", yes), Rush, Theatre of Tragedy, Orphanage, Dark
Tranquillity and generally any good guitarist (though my fave is Jason
Becker). On the off-the-mark side of things, I seriously dig Bjork and
Mariah Carey, as well as Vangelis.

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II: INTRODUCING GWAR IN SEVERAL EASY LESSONS

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2.0 What's GWAR?

GWAR is a Virginian punk/metal band. The reason why they are deserving of a
FUQ the likes of this is that, in fact, they make a pretty impressive racket
while at the same time touring with the most awesome stage-show in the
business today. But let's start at the beginning, shan't we?
In the seventies (1970's that is) there was a performer named Alice Cooper
who really gave rock-n-roll a kick in the ass when he combined music and
theatrics in his concerts. During his shows he did a little magic, showed a
little blood and finished it all by chopping his own head off. Take Alice's
show, shoot it up with crack and you get an idea of what a GWAR show is
like. Instead of a mere one decapitation at the end, however, you're rather
more likely to see five - and that's during the first song! Masturbating
onto the audience, acts of bestiality and a human meat-grinder are all
things you'll likely see at a GWAR concert. So if that kind of shit offends
you, then you'd better stop reading right now.
Still here? Good!

2.1 Where did the name cum from?

There have been varying theories about where the name GWAR came from, but
the following is the true one. When the members of GWAR first broke free
from the iceberg (read: when they had to think up a name) they'd been
imprisoned in, they let go of a horrific scream, "GWARRRRRRRRR," which was
later shortened to become GWAR and the band's name.
Just to confuse us and possibly piss a few people off, they seem to come up
with different explanations all the time. Sometimes fans think of
explanations for themselves. Some of them include the following.
There is a theory that in fact it was derived from "God What A Racket"
(kind of like "We Are Sexual Perverts" for WASP). It is said that, once,
GWAR admitted that they took the name from a comic book, where it stood for
"Gay Women Against Rape." There is a report of a "Watchmen" graphics novel
from 1986 in which it appears. In the movie "Phallus In Wonderland" there is
a scene where a bunch of people are protesting GWAR. In this scene somebody
is holding a sign which reads "Gay Women Against Rape", which further
supports this theory.

'GWAR', incidentally, is a genuine word in the Welsh language, where it
means "nape of the neck". Also, Lord Byron wrote a poem called THE GIAOUR,
which is an Arabic word for 'infidel' or 'unbeliever'. It is pronounced like
"gwar", and it was written in 1813. These instances have NOTHING to do with
the actual origin of the band name, but were spotted by GWAR fans and are
included here as illustratory examples, or perchance to indicate some
subliminally trivial significance never intended by GWAR themselves.

2.2 What exactly is the Slave Pit?

The Slave Pit is a building in Virginia where some members of GWAR live
(such as Bob Gorman). It is the place where they conceive their stage
antics, create their videos and ply their artful trade. It also houses a
recording studio, practice room, kitchen, offices, and computers. More info
required, preferably from an initiate.

2.3 The history of GWAR

In the beginning there was a band called Death Piggy (more about them
later), a small-time punk band. Death Piggy was practicing in a room at the
infamous Richmond Diary, a vast deserted bottling plant that hippies had
taken over and in which they rented out vast interior areas to a motley
assortment of artists and musicians. Hunter Jackson and Chuck Varga, two VCU
attendees, had set up the Slave Pit to serve as the production space for a
movie they wanted to make, called "Scumdogs of the Universe". As fate would
have it, Death Piggy ended up wearing some of Jackson's and Varga's costumes
(Hunter made Dave a spewing dick for a Death Piggy show), opening up for
themselves under the GWAR moniker. Everyone fuckin' loved it, so Death Piggy
died a quick death while from the decaying corpse was born the band supreme,
GWAR. Like an alternative story would have it, GWAR started as a tribute to
Wendy O. Williams (for which Death Piggy were headlining), who has just
appeared naked in Playboy. Hunter Jackson made Dave Brockie a squirting
penis out of a squeezy ketchup bottle. It was so obvious on stage that the
audience cleared from in front of the stage leaving Dave to climax on the
empty floor.

"Billions and billions of years ago, darkness was all that existed. Then
The Master, ruler of the universe, created the planets and everything in
them. But soon The Master became bored of this and created death,
destruction and war. He enjoyed watching the peons die but soon even that
became boring, he himself wanted to kill. So he began slaughtering the
humanoids that littered the planets face, but that too lost its fun. He
needed more of a challenge, so he created God-like creatures with whom he
could do battle. But soon there were too many of these creatures, and he
had to be rid of them. He conjured up all his power and created the most
powerful he could, GWAR was formed. This elite fighting force was called
The Scumdogs of the Universe. The Master used them to destroy all of his
enemies. Millions of years and millions of battles latter, GWAR became more
powerful and craved even more power. Thinking that they could take over The
Masters thrown, GWAR attacked him and the greatest of all battles began. The
carnage lasted a billion years before The Master created the ultimate weapon
- the Death Pod. The pod swallowed GWAR up and delivered them to The Master.
"Ahhhh, foolish Scumdogs", The Master laughed. After thinking about what
their punishment should be, he finally decided: GWAR shall be banished to a
miserable mudball planet called Earth...
The Earth rumbled when the mighty Death Pod crashed into its surface.
Shaken and confused, GWAR crawled out and looked around. Thinking they could
have a nice little planet once its cleared off, they destroyed the
dinosaurs. Afterwards they created Stonehenge so they could play croquet,
and weren't having that bad of a time. The Master looked down upon this and
frowned, what kind of punishment is this? So to stop the nonsense he
imprisoned GWAR in an iceberg on the frozen continent of Antarctica.
Millions of years later: 1980ish. Glam rock was at its peak, groups like
Poison and White Snake were dominating the airwaves. They inspired a whole
slew of new "hair spray" bands. But little did they know, all of that hair
spray put a hole in the ozone - right above Antarctica! Soon the unfiltered
gamma rays melted the iceberg and GWAR was free.
Meanwhile, Sleazy P. Martini was fleeing the country on drug charges,
flying over the former tomb of GWAR. He picked them up and brought them back
to America. He taught them how to use instruments and they learned the
language from watching midget wrestling and MTV. Soon GWAR was known as the
greatest band in the Universe...
Unsatisfied with being worshipped by humans, GWAR still wishes to take
revenge on The Master. They discovered a way. If GWAR could summon the World
Maggot, they could ride it back to the center of the universe and finally
defeat The Master. The World Maggot is a large maggot that lives in the
center of the Earth, the only way to wake it is to slaughter millions of
innocent people. So, taking advantage of their newfound fame, GWAR puts on
shows to which their fans flock. They murder and mutilate these fans, show
after show, until enough blood is spilled to wake the maggot."

(More of this history is required)

2.4 What members are GWAR?

The following is an alphabetical list of members past and present of GWAR,
or people who have to do with the band in some or other capacity off the
musical side of things.

============================================================================
Genna ANDERSON ("Ragnarok" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Occasional vocals
============================================================================
? (prior to "Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born in Canada
GWAR: Joe ANAROMA Vocals
Back in those days, Dave Brockie used to play bass. Joe sings on the "GWAR
Must be Destroyed" video on "The Return of Techno Destructo". His voice is
more death metal-like than Dave's.
============================================================================
Lee BAETO (between "Hell-O" and "Scumdogs of the Universe")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Drums
Lee was the second drummer, which was after Nippleus left (i.e. after
"Hell-O") but prior to "Scumdogs of the Universe", in 1989. Actually, after
Lee and before Jizmak the first drummer, Hans Orifice, returned briefly.
============================================================================
Russ BAHORSKY (prior to "Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Used to be in Death Piggy
GWAR: ? Guitar
He played in an earlier GWAR line-up.
============================================================================
Michael (Mike) BISHOP ("Hell-O" - "Toilet")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 7 September 1968
GWAR: Beefcake the Mighty Bass
Now plays bass and sings in Kepone.
============================================================================
Danny BLACK ("America must be Destroyed")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Slave Slave
He is also believed to be one of the three people pulling Beefcakes
chariot in the "Cool Place to Park" section of "Live in Antarctica".
============================================================================
Mike BONNER ("Hell-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Slave Slave
He is one of the main prop and costume fabricators at the Slave Pit.
============================================================================
David (Dave) BROCKIE ("Hello-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 30 August 1963
Used to be in Nuclear Dog Shit, Sub-Urbans, Yams on Wheels, Rock and
Roll Priests, and eventually Death Piggy
GWAR: Oderus Urungus Vocals, occasional bass
X-Cops: X-Patrolman Cobb Knobbler Bass, occasional vocals
Dave was also the bald father in the 'sperm n slide' sketch.
============================================================================
Michael (Mike) DERKS (a.k.a. DIRKS) ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 28 June 1968
GWAR: Balsac the Jaws of Death Guitar
X-Cops: Lt. Louis Scrappinetti Guitar
He used to play bass in the beginning days of GWAR, around 1986/87;
Beefcake played guitar back then.
============================================================================
Steve DOUGLAS ("Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Formerly guitarist in Death Piggy
GWAR: Balsac the Jaws of Death Guitar
Now in a Richmond band called LOG.
He also co-wrote some of the songs on "Scumdogs of the Universe".
============================================================================
Don DRAKULICH ("Hell-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 9 October 1960
GWAR: Sleazy P. Martini 'Manager', artist,
occasional vocals
Bozo Destructo 'Arch enemy', vocals
Granbo 'Arch enemy'
He also played Dick Cox and one half of the techno band 'Prestige'.
============================================================================
Mike DUNN (X-Cops only)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Formerly in Blohole
X-Cops: X-Cadet Billy Club Drums
============================================================================
Liz FAIRBAIRN ("Hell-O" - "America Must be Destroyed")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Their real manager
She played the court reporter in "Phallus in Wonderland" and the mother in
the 'Sperm n Slide' sketch. She's a rather large-sized lady, and is no
longer GWAR's manager.
============================================================================
Bob (Bobby) GORMAN ("America must be Destroyed" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Artist
X-Cops: X-Sgt. Zypygski Occasional vox, artist
He is the main prop/costume creator, and has been with GWAR, well, even
before GWAR. He also plays muzzled slaves, dead slaves, Flopsy, and the kid
at the beginning of "Phallus in Wonderland".
============================================================================
Rick GRIGGS ("America must be Destroyed")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? ?
============================================================================
Lisa HARRELSON ("Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: GWAR woman Vocals, dancing
This appears to have been the original GWAR woman, prior to Slymenstra?
============================================================================
Ethan ISENBERG ("Ragnarok")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Human beatbox
Also, with Charlie O'Donovan, part of the GWAR computer team.
============================================================================
Hunter JACKSON ("Hello-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 15 September 1959
GWAR: Techno Destructo Vocals
Artist, video director
Hunter also does "Mind Control Monthly", is a slave, and plays Granbo.
============================================================================
Scott KRAHL ("Hell-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Skulhedface / Slave Occasional vox, slave
Gor-Gor Pet/offspring
Cardinal Syn Evil clergyperson
Scott is also the computer buff and Internet person, and was the person who
flew the flying bat in "Phallus in Wonderland". He also played the wrestling
announcer for the two wrestling tours.
============================================================================
Peter (Pete) LEE ("America must be Destroyed" (tour, not album) - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 20 December 1967
Formerly of Rigor Mortis
GWAR: Flattus Maximus Guitar
X-Cops: Sgt. Al Depontsia Guitar
============================================================================
Matt MAGUIRE ("This Toilet Earth" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Artist
Cardinal Syn Evil clergyperson
Also known to handle road managing duties. He's also the slave with the
knight mask, and fabricates costumes. In "Skulhedface" he was the Samurai
Exec.
============================================================================
Melanie MANDL ("America must be Destroyed" - "Toilet")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Video editor
She is one of the nuns at the end of the "Skulfedface" video and a "Trick
or Treat Girl" during the short 1993 GWAR Halloween tour. She also filmed
the "Phallus in Wonderland" and "Tour de Scum" videos, and was GWAR's main
videographer.
============================================================================
Robert MARGOULEFF ("Ragnarok")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Producer ("Ragnarok") and backing vocals
============================================================================
Rob MOSBY ("Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Nippleus Erecticus Drums
Was credited with the drums on "Scumdogs of the Universe", though in fact
Jizmak played them (and rumours abound that, in fact, someone called Hans
Orafice did them).
============================================================================
Dave MUSEL ("Hell-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Dave Musel Keyboards and samples
X-Cops: X-Detective Philip McRevis Keyboards and samples
============================================================================
Charlie O'DONOVAN ("Ragnarok")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ?
He is no longer with GWAR. He used to do Internet-related stuff.
============================================================================
Casey ORR ("Skulhedface" tour - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Used to play bass in Rigor Mortis, and Blohole
GWAR: Beefcake the Mighty Bass
X-Cops: Sheriff Tubb Tucker Vocals, occasional bass
Was a roadie for Ministry when they played Lollapalooza (year?). Casey
knows Ministry singer Scaccia back from Blohole.
============================================================================
Brad ROBERTS ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 6 November 1967
GWAR: Jizmak da Gusha Drums
X-Cops: X-Mountainbike Officer Biff Buff Occasional drums and vox
He also manages the merchandise and working at the Iuma WWW site. Might be
married to Ami Roberts, and he has a kid too.
============================================================================
Dewey ROWELL ("Hell-O" - "America must be Destroyed")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Used to be guitarist in White Cross
GWAR: Flattus Maximus Guitar
He left after the recording of "America must be Destroyed". Pete Lee played
on the tour.
============================================================================
Danielle/Danyell STAMPE ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 27 November 1967
GWAR: Slymenstra Hymen Occasional vox, dancing
A.k.a. Flatua. She wants to be in a film one day, and on Broadway; also
refer to Lisa Harrelson, above.
============================================================================
Sean SUMNER (prior to "Hell-O")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Hans Orifice Drums
Played in an early GWAR line-up (1986-87). Never recorded anything with the
band, but was member of GWAR prior to Nippleus and briefly between Nippleus
and Jizmak, prior to "Scumdogs of the Universe" (which was in 1989).
============================================================================
Chuck VARGA ("Hello-O" - current)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 21 May 1958
GWAR: Sexecutioner Occasional vox, artist
Might have to retire from GWAR due to a knee problem. He makes loads of
props and costumes, too.
============================================================================
Scott WOLFE ("American Must be Destroyed" - "This Toilet Earth")
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Producer ("This Toilet Earth"), not actually in GWAR
============================================================================
GWAR: Pookie the Wonder Dog
============================================================================

2.5 Where to see GWAR

I can see them in concert - hey, so can you! But if you don't feel like
getting your clothes fucked up with red and green blood (as well as red,
green and blue semen), you can watch GWAR in the safety of your own home.
Please refer to the video information in the GWARography, below.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

III - THE CHARACTERS IN GWAR

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

3.0 The band

The following information was, er, borrowed off the various album jackets
and used here to inform you of the alter biographies of various members of
GWAR, as well as their arch enemies.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Oderus Urungus
Nicknames: Oderus Aroundus,"Party Pants",The Irish Kid
Age: 28 (million)
Home Planet: My moldy war frame was purloined bit by lumpy bit from
ghettos across the galaxy. I was assembled in syntho
womb 5 on the planet Scumdogia
Height,Weight: Variable
Favorite color: Urine
Turn ons: Hulking war machines,lurking,public urinals,flesh
sculpture,bandying about my flaccid poop-root,
collecting colons of the damned
Turn offs: Women without acne,peace,families,unsullied
pantaloons,law enforcement personnel
On a date I like to: not go
Favorite celebrity: Myself,Carl Panzram
Ambitions or Goals: To view the shattered boiling mass of planet Earth from
outer space, rapidly disappearing from sight
Accomplishments: There is nothing to be proud of
Quote: "Those who trumpet their sufferings are usually most
deserving of agony"

Priminister of the sinister, Oderus has a brain transplant before each
show. Tortures thousands just by opening his mouth. Takes drugs seriously.
Golden-throated crooner of impossible gaiety and Chaos-thug supreme - proud
owner of the tri-prong scrotal mount.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Beefcake the Mighty
Instrument: Bass
Age: How Rude!
Home planet: Cholesterol
Favorite color: Blowfly blue
Favorite T.V. show: Man Glance
Favorite movie: Terms Of Endearment (or anything with Meryl Streep)
Last book read: Ulysses, James Joyce
Last book written: New Testament
Hobbies: Turd surfing,golf,onanism,peeping
Last raped orifice: The famous 17th island hole at Sawgrass, or Dan Feather
Favorite Celebrity: Paul Lynde
When I get mad: I "take 10" - count to ten for a timeout
Dream or Goal: To one day be known as "The white Gary Coleman"
Philosophy: "If at first you don't succeed, take sleeping pills"
Accomplishments: My work with NMBLA
What shames me: My work with NMBLA
On dates I like to: Apologize
Quote: "I only wish that you, the peons, the lowly zit-ridden
scum of outcast prepubescence so recklessly misspending
the treasures of youth could truly understand my utter
disdain for you as I look out from my lotty perch of
immeasurable fame and opulence"

Beefcake is 299 tons of unadulterated sensitivity. "Certainly the bass is
the gentlest of all instruments... especially at full volume." Invented
music by stretching dinosaur guts across the Grand Canyon.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Balsac
Alias: The Jaws Of Death
Instrument: Guitar
Age: Pi x 10^2 1,000,000
Date of birth: My birthday
Home planet: Ennui
Height: Taller then Oderus
Weight: 12 tons fully dressed; 98lbs in a towel
Eye color: ?
Favorite color: Fusha
Favorite T.V. show: The Preview Guide
Last book read: The Tailhook Report
Last book written: The Kama Sutra II
Hobbies: Contemplating suicide, learning to like myself
Last raped Orifice: The car of a GWAR fan
Favorite Celebrity: God
When I get mad: I contemplate suicide
Dream or goal: Learn to like myself
Philosophy: "If all else fails, contemplate suicide"
Accomplishments: Getting out of bed this morning
What shames me: Me
On dates I like to: Contemplate suicide
Quote: "I am so very, very sorry"

Balsac writes songs by scratching his scrotum with his guitar. Prefers
quadriplegics over blondes. Invented V.D. and has a bear-trap for a face.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Flattus Maximus
Age: Unknown
Date of birth: Tomorrow
Home planet: Planet home
Favorite color: Brown
Favorite T.V. show: Barney
Last book read: Cant read
Last book written: Cant write
Hobbies: Hooked on Phonics
Last raped orifice: Lives in Dallas
Favorite celebrity: Gor Gor
When I get mad: I fart
What shames me: Incontinence

"The Armored Clown", Flattus attributes his explosive guitar-style to a
strict diet of vegetarians. Often the brunt of cruel jokes, to which he
replies with devastating farts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Jizmak da Gusher
Instrument: Drums
Age: Old enough to wipe my own ass
Height: Almost tall
Weight: Almost fat
Eye color: Crimson
Home planet: The wide world of sports
Favorite food: Goat toast
Favorite Beverage: Beaver Slurpee
Favorite Color: Clear
Favorite T.V. show: The price is right
Favorite movie: Goodfellas
Last book read: Autobiography of Spuds MacKenzie
Last book written: Dog's Digest
Hobbies: Clubbing, BBQ, Cleavage, Pretending
Last raped orifice: The Popes nose
Favorite celebrity: King Kong
When I get Mad: I smash,squash,beat,pound,crush,slam,and pass out, much
like the blackout of a violent drunk, upon awakening, I
I forgot why I was mad
Dreams or goals: Daydreams, 137 goals
Philosophy: Live until you die or live as long as you can live
Accomplishments: I ate the whole thing
What shames me: Having soiled pants
On dates I like to: Ramajama
Quote: "I wish people would leave me alone"

The recently dethawed Jizmak became master of the "great beating machine"
after the horrible death of former GWAR drummer Nippleus Erectus.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Sexecutioner
Age: Unknown even to self
Home planet: Eros (located in the Genital V System)
Favorite color: Black
Favorite T.V. Show: Wings of the Luftwaffe
Last book read: The Rosetta Stone
Last book written: Fantastic Four Issue #84
Hobbies: Death,Sex,cooking,brian surgery,proctology,human
sculptures and tap dancing
Last raped orifice: My navel
Favorite Celebrity: Charles Nelson Rielly
When I get mad: I ejaculate on old ladies
Dreams or goals: To destroy all life on this planet
Philosophy: Sexistentialism
Comments: "I cant wait to get off this planet and start
sexterminating more sentient life forms"

"I got all bases covered" says Sexy whose hobbies also include anal
impalement, necrophilia, and distilling goatloads.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Slymentra Hymen
Instrument: Scissors
Age: A woman never reveals her own age unless its a lie
Date of birth: I don't celebrate birthdays, they're something I'd
rather forget
Home planet: Coelltisphere, A warrior queen zone
Height: I tower above thee, when you're down on your knees spit
shining my boots
Weight: None of your business!
Eye color: Green-eyed lady, eyes are the mirror of the soul
Favorite color: The color of a freshly devoured body
Favorite T.V show: Let The Tube Be Broken
Favorite movies: Santa Sangre, The Fourth Man
Favorite drink: The blood of a young boy
Favorite sport: Man Juggling
Favorite hobbies: Flesh kneading,setting traps for man's ruin,gossip,
stealing your boyfriend,man hatred
Last book read: The story of an eye,Georges Balalle. Recited to me
by a young slave-boy who became too embarrassed to
continue
Last book written: Setting Myself Up To Fail; Total Ego Press 347BC
Last raped orifice: My own
Favorite Celebrity: Mozart
When I get mad: I simply displace my aggression on the nearest available
whipping boy
Dreams or goals: To heal the planet, but since that's a lost cause, to be
on a planet of strong, independent women with no men
around to cock-block me.
Philosophy: A creature of terminal vanity, I love myself.
What shames me: I don't understand the question
On dates I like to: I wouldn't know - men never ask me out. My beauty and
intelligence terrifies them. They fear an emotional
and spiritual death at the thought of union. Cowards!
Quote: "There is no better way to know death than to link it
with a licentious image"
My sponsor: "Full on Flow" Tampons

Slymentra likes chopping off heads too - dickheads. She also has a few
'tips' of her own about whose boss.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name: Sleazy P. Martini
Age: Thir... None of your business!
Date of Birth: 6/6/56
Home planet: Oith
Height: 6'6", plus 2 feet for hair
Weight: 150, plus 50 pounds for hair
Symbol: $
Eye color: Green, what else
Favorite color: Green, what else
Favorite T.V. show: The Peoples Court
Favorite movies: The Godfather, Meanstreets, Scarface
Favorite drink: Happy Time wine
Favorite food: KungFu malt liquor
Last book read: How to manipulate friends and intimidate people
Last book written: Ditto
Last raped orifice: The collective anus of the buying public
Favorite celebrity: Myself
When I get mad: I get even
Dream of goal: There is no number large enough to quantify that kind
of money
Philosophy of life: It's a bitch for everyone else
Accomplishments: Fingering Cher
What shames me: Ditto
On dates I like to: Get sucked for 12 hours
Quote: "Suck it up"

3.1 GWAR's enemies

This paragraph features most of the GWAR enemies throughout the years, in a
weird and hopefully fairly chronological order of first major appearance.

TECHNO DESTRUCTO
(a.k.a.: gay-bot, transformer-ass wannabe)

Arch enemy of GWAR: Served with GWAR in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion.
Used to be two cyborgs sharing the same name, but has since split into two
personalities: Techno Destucto and Bozo Destructo (played by Don Drakulich
a.k.a. "Sleazy"). Hell-bent on forcing GWAR to become good guys, but they
usually end up kicking the shit out if each other instead: trying to decide
who has the Masters permission to destroy GWAR! They drink Multi-Lube, jerk
off to Popular Mechanic and come from way past Uranus. Techno is armed with
a huge mechanical claw while Bozo attacks with what seems to be a giant meat
tenderizer.
After the two split, Techno became even more obsessed with power. He
confronted GWAR and made them an offer: He suggested they team up and take
over the universe. When GWAR refused, Techno decided if they shall die.
After a long battle, Techno was finally disarmed and was forced to become a
slave to GWAR.

REDNECK FROM HELL:

Big, fat, beer-bellied, balding redneck who carries a shotgun. But why is
he after GWAR? Well, it seems that Oderus stole his
girlfriend/daughter/wife/mother (incest y'know). Well since then he follows
GWAR from show to show and sometimes jumps up on stage, trying to blow away
poor Oderus. But fear not, the last time I seen him, Oderus chopped off the
top of his head and ripped open his beer-belly to find... uh... a beer!

BAD BIKER BITCH:

Former girlfriend of the Redneck and now main squeeze to GWAR lead singer
Oderus Urungus. Her claim-to-fame was bearing the offspring of her and
Oderus on stage. But Oderus being the good daddy we would think him to be,
couldn't wait and ripped the baby out. Too bad. The baby died but it did
make a good snack. But on the Bitch's more recent appearances she just
complains about never getting any attention - To which Oderus responds by
chopping off her tits. She attacks with the deadly double-edged dildo.

NUNS:

First seen protesting a GWAR concert with other various lowlifes. But GWAR
manager Sleazy P. Martini set them straight. Bravely he walked out to
confront the dangerous villains. "Are you in show business" he asked. "Why,
no we're not" the elderly woman answered. "THEN GET THE FUCK OFF THE
STAGE!!" with that (and a blast from his shotgun) he put a hole through one
of the nuns. GWAR came to take care of the rest of them - decapitating them
in a manner that would make you all proud.

SLASH (OR AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION):

How dare that Guns-n-Roses superstar just walk on stage and start showing
off to us GWAR fans. Luckily we were spared from listening to him for too
long, as Oderus ripped his face off.

NAZI SKINHEAD:

The second contestant on the famous game show "Slaughterama." Being the
nice guys they are, GWAR noticed that the skinhead was growing a little
peach-fuzz on his head. Well we can't have that, so Oderus decided to give
him a haircut. Unfortunately, the razor slipped and cut his head off
(whoops).

MELVIN FLEEBISH (NOT 'SQUEMISH'):

The lucky, lucky contest winner (he wins all the time). Well, GWAR always
makes sure he "gets what he fucking deserves". Looks like he wins another
decapitation. Yippie.

OLLIE NORTH:

During some of the tag-team wrestling shows in 1988, GWAR Woman faced off
against Ollie North at the beginning of the set.

GIANT MUTANT ANT:

A very early enemy, with a rather elaborate costume for the early days.
Can be seen in the "GWAR Must Be Destroyed" film that is part of the "Return
Of Techno Destructo" video available from Slave Pit.

CHERNOBYL COCKROACH:

Similar to the Ant, there was also a giant cockroach that was one of the
band's early enemies.

GOR-GOR:

In the basement of the temple of GWAR, the slaves found something that
appeared to be a dinosaur egg. Slymenstra attempted to nuture the egg, but
the other GWARriors had their way and fed him with dead babies and shot him
up with crack. The enraged baby tyrannosaur burst forth from the egg and bit
off a slave's hand, then escaped form the temple "to spread disease and
hatred to an unknowing world." Oderus claims to be the father of the child,
although Slymenstra refutes this. A full grown Gor Gor later returned to
destroy a city and fight GWAR, only to have a sword stuck through his head
by Oderus. Techno Destructo later found Gor Gor and resurrected him as the
Cybernetic Gor Borg and tried to use him to fight GWAR again, only to have
his creation turned against him when Slymenstra took control of his remote.
It is said that Gor Gor will return again soon.
Note: although not imortalized in song until "America Must be Destroyed",
Gor Gor is another early character in the GWAR mythos, appearing in crude
form in shows prior to "Hell-o"!, in very early comics, and in the lyrics to
AEIOU ("these are Gor Gor's vowels").

ANTON REEMCOB:

A censorship dweeb that was going to replace GWAR on their "America Must be
Destroyed" tour with the techno band 'Prestige'.

PRESTIGE

The aforementioned techno band. When it was announced that GWAR would not
be playing, they came out and started playing a droning techno song. Of
course, before too long GWAR appeared and they wound up getting their heads
smashed in with their keyboards and spraying the crowd with blood.

THE BEEFY SECURITY GOON

On the "America Must Be Destroyed tour", a particularly big, beefy, and
ugly concert security goon made his way up on stage to do a little crowd
control. GWAR showed him who was in charge by ripping his guts out.

THE PIG COP

Since GWAR recognize no laws of man (or nature), the police often made an
appearance at the shows on the "America Must be Destroyed" tour in the form
of a fat pig-faced police officer (who would have made a good X-Cop) who
shot his gun at them, but wound up having a mop handle shoved up his ass and
was carried off the stage like a pig on a spit.

EDNA P. GRANBO:

A couple of years ago an organization was formed that is more dangerous
then all of the enemies above: The Morality Squad. The sole purpose of this
group is to rid the world of GWAR forever! Granbo is the leader and founder
of The Morality Squad. She is a former PMRC member who got fed up with the
filthy music put out by GWAR. She even went so far as to coat the cover of
"Scumdogs of the Universe" with mind altering drugs, so we wouldn't get the
full effect of the music. Used to be seen on crutches but
now is confined to "the wheelchair of death." Died a horrible death, getting
the skin ripped right off her body after having her wrinkled tits sucked by
GWAR.

FATHER BOHAB:

A typical priest - Out to get GWAR ever since they exposed him for the
child-molester that he is. Last seen getting his cross shoved up his ass
(which he probably rather liked).

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT:

Superhero grandson of the hideous Granbo. Dressed in his Captain America
uniform, he is the one who stole the Cuttlefish from between the legs of
Oderus in "Phallus in Wonderland." Filled with muscles, but they can be a
drawback too, as they are easily ripped right off the chest. He is always
accompanied by...

PRIVATE PARTS:

First seen giving Corporal Punishment a blow job, last seen getting thrown
off a skyscraper by two GWAR slaves. This little pecker might look small but
he sure gave Beefcake a good run for his money.

TINY:

Mutated nephew of Granbo. A nuclear mutation of two men, this guy packs a
powerful punch. He has a weak spot though - he can be sliced right down the
middle, but then you'll have to fight two of them.

DR. D.BILL.ADATED:

The Morality Squads own mad scientist. He created Tiny to take care of
GWAR. Needless to say, his plan failed. Tiny was destroyed and the doctor
got his face squashed in. It seems that he acquired the crutches once used
by Granbo. These crutches, when pulled back, release a dangerous collection
of spikes into its victims face.

C.I.A:

Called Cerutti Fancypants, he trained The Morality Squad in combat so they
wouldn't be defenseless when going up against GWAR. No special powers, but
he packs a dangerous gun collection.

SKULHEDFACE:

Once the beautiful queen matriarch of a peaceful vegetarian planet, she was
transformed into Skulhedface by Cardinal Syn and his holy warriors when they
invaded her planet. Skulhed was sent to Earth by Syn to subjugate the
developing world and harvest the Jizmogloben from its inhabitants, preparing
the world for Syn's planned invasion. Throughout the centuries, Skulhed
instigated wars to advance earth's technologies until the world was ready
for domination. However, instead of saving the Jizmogloben for Syn, Skulhed
became addicted to it and its power, and secretly began plotting to
overthrow Syn by using the powerful Jizmogloben of GWAR. Skulhed used his
assistant Flopsy and his creation The Flesh Column to defeat GWAR and rob
them of their Jizmogloben using a contraption called the Homogenizer. GWAR
managed to trick Skulhed into giving them their Jiz back, and then proceded
to rape her to death.

FLOPSY:

A.k.a. the Cunt-Faced Boy, Skulhed's faithful assistant. Using his deformed
face, he seduced and lured Beefcake into the lair of Skulhed, who then
proceeded to cut off Beefcake's face and use it as a trap for the rest of
GWAR. As GWAR was getting their asses kicked, Flopsy (who was genuinely
enamored with Beefcake) was coerced into giving Beef his face back and
setting him free. Beefcake then proceeded to fist-fuck Flopsy's face, which
was more than the poor lad could bear.

THE FLESH COLUMN

Skulhedface's giant monstrosity, pieced together from the bodies of the
most horrible humans of all time, was his secret weapon in his fight against
GWAR. With an appropriately named cock-pit, a turd throwing butt-cannon, a
bile-spewing penis-like extension with the head of Adolf Hitler, and more
body parts than Jeffery Dahmer's apartment, the Flesh Column made short work
of GWAR, leaving them defeated for Skulhed's nefarious schemes.

THE WORLD MAGGOT:

Inside the earth lay the enormous world maggot. GWAR hatched a scheme to
harvest the souls of their fans to wake the maggot, so they could ride back
into the stars upon its back and escape this insufferable mudball planet.
Unfortunately for them, when the maggot awoke they were busy defeating
Skulhedface, and the maggot flew off into the stars without them. The maggot
also manages to make an appearance in their stage show at the end, as the
band feeds them with female fans from the crowd, but when it starts
attacking the band members they hack it into pieces like everything else.

MICHAEL JACKSON

First seen on GWAR's 1995 tour, the King Of Pop dared to try to upstage
GWAR with his break dancing showmanship. He then proceeded to reveal his
massive once-black member and "beat it." Of course our favorite band of
marauding space monsters proceeded to remove the offending organ from him
(which shouldn't have been too much of a shock since we all know that he
must have lost his balls years ago). They then ripped his face off and
underneath was... a grey space alien (named "transvestite space alien")?

O.J. SIMPSON

He made his debut on the late 1995 Mid Galactic Wrestling Championship
tour, as part of a tag team with Frank Sinatra. The bloodthirsty Juice must
have been having flashbacks of Nicole, because he tried to hack away at
GWAR's resident blonde, Slymenstra. Or course it didn't take long before
GWAR beheaded him, showering the audience with orange juice.

FRANK SINATRA

The Chairman of the Broads, made up the other half of the "Misogynist
Wrecking Crew" along with O.J.

JERRY GARCIA

Already embalmed by years of chemical intake, after his recent death old
Jerry kept on making appearances at GWAR shows. Like many others so foolish
to take the stage with GWAR, Jerry had his guts pulled out and his face
ripped off.

THE GREY ALIENS

On the "Ragnarok" tour, Oderus was confronted by a pair of Grey space
aliens like we see on the X-Files and everywhere else these days. They came
out with a big sperm sucking gun to gather the seed of Oderus Urungus, and
proceeded to suck the Cuttlefish dry. Later, they returned and showered
Slymenstra with the diseased semen, impregnating her with Oderus' child.
Later, the pregnant Slymenstra was brought back out shackled down as the
other band members proceeded to try to abort the child with a "knife in her
guts" but it was then abducted by the grey aliens.

CARDIDAL SYN

In the year 1999 (okay, actually 1996) the comet Ragnarok is believed to be
approaching and the end of the world is near. As the earth prepares for its
end, we find out that it is actually Cardinal Syn coming to enslave our
world. The giant holy robot and his followers fight GWAR and after he meets
his defeat, we find that inside his massive robotic body is the alien mutant
monster baby, whose soul was used to power the robot.
Note: Like Gor Gor, Cardinal Syn is also a very early character dating back
prior to "Hell-o"! He has appeared in old comics and films and made some
appearances on stage, but has not been featured in one of GWAR's major
worldwide tours until recently.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

IV - GWAROGRAPHY

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

5.0 Stuff they've done

Funny how we're just getting to the music. But as Michael Bishop (Beefcake)
said, "GWAR is rock n' roll disguised as a joke." Yeah, and the music is the
greatest! All the dressing up is cool, but without the music they wouldn't
have made it this far. If you haven't heard it - then stop reading this FUQ
and go buy a CD of theirs!

5.1 The albums

============================================================================
HELL-O
============================================================================

- Shimmy Disc red vinyl (1988) (limited to 500 copies, really rare)

- Shimmy Disc black vinyl (1988)

- Shimmy Disc cassette (198?) (with bonus track "Black and Huge")

- Shimmy Disc CD (1989) (with bonus track "Black & Huge")
Catalogue number SDE 8910/CD 08-025221-10

- Metal Blade CD (1992) (remastered) (without "Black and Huge")

This was GWAR's first attempt to brainwash America. This album has a punk
feel rather than the metal music GWAR now produces. They have grown a lot
since this album, and a lot of fans say its not too good (and, of course,
yet others say it's great!). It's been re-released with a bonus track as
well.

1. Time for Death 9. Pure as the Arctic Snow
2. AEIOU 10. Je M' Appelle J.Cousteau
3. Americanized 11. GWAR Theme
4. I'm in Love (With a Dead Dog) 12. Bone Meal
5. Slutman City 13. Ollie North
6. World O' Filth 14. Techno's Song
7. War Toy 15. U Ain't Shit
8. Captain Crunch 16. Rock n' Roll Party Town
*17. Black and Huge

* This is only on the cassette version and various imported CDs

============================================================================
SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE
============================================================================

- Metal Blade CD (1990)

- Master Records CD (1990)
Catalogue number MAS CD 001

- Jimco CD (1990) (Japanese version with 65-page bonus booklet and slip
case)

Released in 1990, the year GWAR hit the big time! Their first album on a
major label (Metal Blade, backed by Warner Bros.). A big advance from "Hell-
O'", it also has one of the best back covers ever - Slymenstra "walking" a
bunch of slaves covered in blood. Songs are longer and better written. Also
included (on CD) is Beefcake's first attempt at singing.
Here's a little more info on the Japanese booklet.
Front and back cover and front and back inside cover are the four pictures
that have been send to the newsgroup late October 1996 as Scumjap1.jpg -
Scumjap4.jpg. The following is a page-by-page description.

pg. 1 Table of Contents
pg. 2-9 Article and interview (in Japanese)
pg. 10-18 English lyrics (with many inaccuracies)
pg. 19-27 Japanese lyrics
pg. 28-35 band bio pictures (same as on US release, only with one band
member on each page)
pg. 36-41 Let There Be GWAR comic (1987(?) w/ Hans & Stephen Sphincter)
pg. 42-49 The Origin Of GWAR comic (1988)
pg. 50-54 A True Story of Two Fan's Mindless Devotion To GWAR comic
pg. 55 This Is Your Brain On GWAR comic
pg. 56-58 Comic w/ Techno Destructo Express
pg. 59 Can Earth Endure GWAR tour flyer
pg. 60-61 Sleazy tries to get GWAR signed comic
pg. 62 Sexy "I Hate Housework" comic
pg. 63 I Sacrificed My Mom To GWAR tour flyer

Other than the four pictures posted on the newsgroup, all of the other
stuff has been (and probably still is) available through Slave Pit in the
various comic collections they've done. The English lyrics are wrong in some
spots, but they are large enough to read without a microscope (unlike the US
version) but they don't have Grambo's scribblings on them.

1. The Salaminizer 8. Vlad the Impaler
2. Maggots 9. Black and Huge
3. Sick of You 10. Love Surgery
4. Slaughterama 11. Death Pod
5. The Years Without Light 12. Sexecutioner
6. King Queen *13. Cool Place To Park
7. Horror of Yig

* CD Version only

============================================================================
AMERICA MUST BE DESTROYED
============================================================================

- Metal Blade CD (1991)
Catalogue number CD ZORRO 37

Heavier then the previous two and, more importantly, it had sicker lyrics.
This album also featured a taste of GWAR's sensitive side with "The Road
Behind". The Canadian version of the album has "Rock N' Roll Never Felt So
Good", "Crack in the Egg" and "Have You Seen Me" removed, with earlier
versions of "Krak Down", "Bad Bad Men" and "O Canada" added.

1. Ham on the Bone 7. Gilded Lily
2. Crack in the Egg 8. Poor Ole Tom
3. Gor-Gor 9. Rock N' Roll Never Felt So Good
4. Have You Seen Me? 10. Blimey
5. The Morality Squad 11. The Road Behind
6. America Must Be Destroyed 12. Pussy Planet

============================================================================
THE ROAD BEHIND (EP)
============================================================================

- Metal Blade CD (1992)
Catalogue number 9 45101-2

This is simply a "single" of the song "The Road Behind" with lots of other
cool shit on with it. We get to hear RAWG perform on an album for the first
time. And you also get a live version of "Have You Seen Me" that's worth the
price alone. A transcript of this live cut can be found later in this FUQ.
You also get a new version of "Captain Crunch" (from "Hell-O'") and "Krack-
Down".

1. The Road Behind 4. Voodoo Summoning
2. Overture in N Minor 5. Captain Crunch
3. Krak-Down (Version 1) 6. Have You Seen Me?

============================================================================
THIS TOILET EARTH
============================================================================

- Metal Blade/Priority Records CD (1994) (censored version)
Catalogue number P2-53889
- Metal Blade CD (1994) (full version)

Unfortunately the first album that is around in a censored version without
the song "Baby Dick Fuck" (the artwork is just blotted out, all dicks are
covered up with a black "censored" text and the CD simply skips track 9).
Some people think this album is more hard-core than "America Must be
Destroyed". It's Brad Robert's favorite album. This album was first
distributed through Priority Records due to the "BDF" controversy. Metal
Blade eventually picked it up, but in the US it was distributed without
"BDF". So make sure track #9 is on your version!

1. Saddam A Go-Go 9. BDF (Baby Dick Fuck)
2. Penis I see 10. Fight
3. Eat Steel 11. The Issue of Tissue (spacecake)
4. Jack the World 12. Pocket Pool
5. Sonderkommando 13. Slap U Around
6. Bad Bad Men 14. Krak Down
7. Pepperoni 15. Filthy Flow
8. The Insidious Soliloquy 16. The Obliteration of
of Skulhedface Flab Quarv 7

============================================================================
RAGNAROK
============================================================================

- Metal Blade CD (1995)
Catalogue number SPV 084-101032

Released in 1995, with more space given for synth effects man Musel.
Includes the RHCP-alike "Think You Outta Know This", a song about ripping
off. Including a great Slymenstra-Oderus duet, this concept album is based
around the coming of Ragnarok and the occurrence of Cardinal Syn.

1. Meat Sandwich 8. Think You Outta Know This
2. The New Plague 9. Martyr Dumb
3. Whargoul 10. Nudged
4. Ragnarok 11. Fire in the Loins
5. Dirty, Filthy 12. Surf of Syn
6. Stalin's Organs 13. Crush Kill Destroy
7. Knife in Yer Guts 14. None but the Brave

============================================================================
SURF OF SYN
============================================================================

A 7" single released on the Man's Ruin label. Contains an instrumental
"Surf of Syn" and Slymenstra's solo effort "Don't Need a Man".

============================================================================
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT (AS X-COPS)
============================================================================

- Metal Blade CD (1995)
Catalogue number SPV 084-101072

After the "Ragnarok" tour, the GWAR musicians wanted to do some more stuff.
So they formed X-Cops and released this album at the end of 1995. More hard-
core, and with entirely different subject matter (well, largely).
Incidentally, X-Cops use another drummer as well, not just Brad Roberts. For
more info on X-Cops, see 6.1.

1. Interloper 8. 5-0
2. Barbells 9. Tune Up Time
3. Cavity Search 10. Third Leg
4. Zipper Pig 11. Paddy Wagon Rape
5. Welcome to New Jersey 12. Highway Star (cover of the DP song)
6. Your Mother 13. You F***ed up
7. The Party's Over

============================================================================
? (AS X-COPS)
============================================================================

A 1996 7" single released on the Man's Ruin label, featuring "Junkie" (sung
by Mike Derks) and "Beat you Down" (Casey Orr on vocals).

5.2 The videos

============================================================================
THE NEXT MUTATION
============================================================================

Released in 1989, also known as "RWAGWAR" and "RAWGWAR: The Next Mutation".
This was sent out to promoters and the like, prior to GWAR signing to Metal
Blade. It is a compilation of early MTV & cable TV appearances and
are live, 6 is a video filmed in the studios where they made their
appearance on Dr. Gruesome's Movie Morgue and features a demo version of
the song, 7-14 are live, 15 is another Dr. Gruesome video, 16 & 17 are
live, and 18 is a video featuring the "Hell-o" version of "Black & Huge".
In the live portions, we're treated to many of the same things that we see
in the "Live From Antarctica" video: Melvin Fleebish comes out and gets
decapitated during "World O Filth", they bring out a big body and pull its
guts out during "Sexecutioner", they parade around with and fuck dead
animals during "Slutman City", they fight the Redneck and the Bad Biker
Bitch during "Dead Dog/Bone Meal/Ollie North", a pregnant Bitch comes back
out during "Captain Crunch" and they rip the baby out of her belly and smack
it around, and finally of course the show ends with the two Techno
Destructos facing off against GWAR. The interview segments come from the
classic 1989 MTV Week In Rock feature from the New Music Seminar, from Dr.
Gruesome's, and from a cable access tv show. Also worth mentioning: the
version of "King Queen" they perform is significantly different than the
"Scumdogs of the Universe" version, with completely different lyrics and a
very different song structure.

1. Americanized 10. Ollie North
2. Vlad the Impaler 11. Time for Death
3. As Pure as the Arctic Snow 12. King Queen (early version
4. World O Filth) 13. Horror of Yig
5. Sexecutioner 14. Captain Crunch
6. Cool Place to Park 15. Death Pod
7. Slutman City 16. Techno Song
8. I'm in Love with a Dead Dog 17. U Ain't Shit
9. Bone Meal 18. Black & Huge

============================================================================
LIVE FROM ANTARCTICA
============================================================================

- Fotodisk video PAL (1990)
UK catalogue number LFV 117 684117-0
German catalogue number 84-27167
Japanese laser disk, US NTSC VHS, catalog number is 38194-3

Finally, we can now witness a GWAR concert in our own homes. This video
runs about an hour and contains a lot of songs from the Hell-O' album. Some
of the highlights of the video are: We get to see the Redneck From Hell,
Slash, the Bitch, and of course good ole' Melvin Squemish get sliced-n-
diced. You can see Techno Destructo face GWAR in the ultimate main event.
But wait that's not all, also included is a semi-video of Sick Of You. Oh,
and how could I forget the classic: Oderus jerking off into the audience...

1. Horror of Yig 9. I'm in love (with a dead dog)
2. Black and Huge 10. Salaminizer
3. Years Without Light 11. Sexecutioner
4. World O' Filth 12. Sick of You
5. Americanized 13. Techno Song
6. Maggots 14. U Ain't Shit
7. Love Surgery 15. Cool Place To Park
8. Je M' Appelle J. Cousteau

============================================================================
ALL THE SEX
============================================================================

Released in 1991 through the Slave Pit, these eventually made up the "Tour
de Scum" (see below) offering that Metal Blade released.

1. Salaminizer 5. Sexecutioner
2. Black and Huge (video porno?) 6. Morality Squad
3. Horror of Yig 7. GWAR theme
4. Have You seen Me 8. Cool place to Park

============================================================================
TWICE THE VIOLENCE
============================================================================

Released in 1991 through the Slave Pit, these eventually made up the "Tour
de Scrum" (see below) offering that Metal Blade released. At least one song,
"Poor Ole Tom", was only available on these.

1. Crack in the Egg 5. Sick of You
2. Love Surgery 6. Slaughterama
3. Poor Ole Tom (cool video) 7. Gor-Gor
4. Maggots

============================================================================
PHALLUS IN WONDERLAND
============================================================================

- Music For Nations video (1992)
Catalogue number VFN 5

The Cuttlefish of Cthulu has been captured! Put on trial, under the
interrogation of Edna P. Granbo, the Cuttlefish is found guilty of
impersonating a human penis. The punishment is death - for GWAR! The
morality squad is formed to destroy GWAR. What will happen? Will GWAR
survive? Will Oderus and the Cuttlefish reunite? Watch this and find out...
A great high-quality movie!

1. Crack in the Egg 4. The Morality Squad
2. Have You Seen Me 5. Gor-Gor
3. The Road Behind 6. Ham on the Bone

============================================================================
TOUR DE SCUM
============================================================================

Released in 1992, this is the second installment in a hopefully long line
of video concerts by GWAR. This one is from the "Scumdogs of the Universe"
tour, hence the title. See all the new toys and gadgets that GWAR invented
to kill more innocent people. This one also runs about an hour. It is a
polished version of "All the Sex" and "Twice the Violence" (see above), with
some stuff omitted.

1. Salaminizer 7. Sexecutioner
2. Crack in the Egg 8. Morality Squad
3. Love Surgery 9. GWAR Theme
4. Maggots 10. Slaughterama
5. Horror of Yig 11. Gor-Gor
6. Have You Seen Me

============================================================================
SKULHEDFACE
============================================================================

As this one opens, GWAR is holding a telethon on Slave Pit TV to harvest
souls for the World Maggot, so that they can wake it from its slumber at
the earth's core and ride it back to the stars, escaping this mudball
planet once and for all. Meanwhile, we are introduced to GLOMCO, the
multinational conglomerate that controls every facet of the entertainment
industry except for GWAR. They try to bribe Sleazy to make GWAR sell out
into a safe and marketable franchise, but when Sleazy says no, a battle
ensues between GWAR and GLOMCO's thugs. During the battle, their leader,
Boss Glom, escapes and is revealed to be Skulhedface, an alien sent to
this planet by Cardinal Syn to harvest the Jizmogloben of the world and
prepare it for invasion. Skulhed plans to betray Syn and use the powerful
Jizmogloben of GWAR to overthrow him. Skulhed's assistant Flopsy, the
Cunt-Faced Boy, seduces Beefcake and uses him to lure the rest of GWAR to
his lair, where he is waiting with the Flesh Column to beat them into
submission. After GWAR's defeat, Skulhed harvests their Jizmogloben and
turns GWAR into cute little babies. ut they trick him into giving the
Jizmogloben back and rape him to death. Meanwhile, the world maggot
awakens and flies off into the stars, leaving GWAR still marooned on
earth.
This film didn't turn out quite as well as "Phallus In Wonderland", but is
still entertaining. Unfortunately there are no music videos in this one,
with the songs from "This Toilet Earth" only being used as background
music. Strangely enough, the video for "Jack The World" that was filmed on
the set of "Skulhedface" is not included, either.
The year of release was 1994, through Metal Blade video.

============================================================================
TVD [TELEVISION DOCUMENTARY]
============================================================================

TVD has only been released through Slave Pit. It is a compilation of TV
appearances from the "Scumdogs" and "AMBD" era, including a couple of
British shows, a Morton Downey Jr. type talk show, the Joan Rivers show, a
cable access sports call in show, a Canadian TV feature debating their
artistic merits, and more MTV news clips.
Year of release was 1994.

============================================================================
THE RETURN OF TECHNO DESTRUCTO
============================================================================

Info required! This video (1996, Slave Pit release only) was made by Hunter
Jackson and tell the story of how he tried to kill GWAR, then joined them,
etc. It contains "cool concert footage" of some old shows ("You Ain't Shit",
"Techno Song") and at the very end there's the video for "Surf of Syn".

============================================================================
MISCELLANEOUS VIDEO APPEARANCES
============================================================================

COMPILATIONS:

THE 12 COMMANDMENTS

A 12 song compilation (1995, Metal Blade Video) of Metal Blade artists,
including GWAR's "Saddam A Go-Go" video.

HARD & HEAVY VOLUME 2

Video magazine (1989, MPI Video) with an early feature on GWAR. "Hell-o!"
version of GWAR theme is used as background music.

METALHEAD VOLUME 1

Another video magazine (1990, Good Times Video) with a feature on GWAR that
has live excerpts from "Americanized" and an unmasked Mike Bishop with the
memorable quote: "GWAR is God. And there is no escape from God!"

METALHEAD VOLUME 4

GWAR does a rather stupid interview with Mom & Pop MetalHead (1991, BMG
Video).

METALHEAD VOLUME ?

GWAR appeared in another one of these videos with the "Feed Your Sister To
GWAR" contest clip that re-appeared in the TVD compilation. Volume number
uncertain.

MOVIES:

EMPIRE RECORDS

This movie is about a record store. One of the employees (who wants to be a
rock star) dreams about being fed to the World Maggot (or something like
that).

HARDWARE

Movie that briefly shows an excerpt from the "Black & Huge" video on a TV
(but the music playing was Ministry's "Stigmata").

MYSTERY DATE

GWAR makes an appearance in this dorky comedy when the hero and his
girlfriend accidentally duck into a club where GWAR happens to be playing.

SFW (SO FUCKING WHAT)

GWAR makes an appearance in this movie with a video for their song "SFW"
that is on MTV. The video is mostly made up of clips from "The Road Behind"
and "Phallus In Wonderland". The movie was released in 1995, GWAR appears
after the end credits and the song "SFW" was written for the soundtrack. It
was later nominated for a Grammy where it went against, among others,
Metallica. They lost. The song is played live regularly.

5.3 The lyrics

5.3a Hell-O

TIME FOR DEATH

Sun goes down, bodies on the ground
Swollen with pus, I shall further expound
As the vultures swirl, the batons twirl
We've come for your entrails

And now it's time for death
And now it's time
Death's mime is rhymed

Sun comes up, bloody pulp
People of your planet all writhe in muck
Life's a piece of shit, you are living it
You deserve no rest in death

And now it's time for death
And now it's time
Death's mime is rhymed

Time for death, it's to the left
I'm gonna smash my chin 'till I've got a cleft
Time for death, there's nothing left
I'm gonna rape your world, gonna go suck cock

And now it's time for death
Your nipples, expose your breasts
I'll burrow deep into your chest... aah

There's no sun, just a human slum
Leaders of your people acting really dumb
Flies with the eyes, guys with the thighs
Keeping a watch on Bilko's pies

And now it's time for DEATH

AEIOU

U! U! U! A-E-I-O-U-A-E-I-O-U!
Yes, yes, these are Satan's vowels...
No! No! These are Gor-Gor's vowels
No-N-N-No-N-N-No-N-N-No... Yes
Yes, though rows of noses block your way
But you must flail on today...
Yes, yes, pumping entrails on your
Face, face, face, face....
The Berlin

AMERICANIZED

I'm Americanized
9 (nine) tons of crack a day
It's up my butt, the USA
All you people will look like us-
You worship me but still- you suck...

USA - I'm Americanized
USA- (I'm the prince of lies)

I'm Americanized
Death to those who wear paisley
Plucking babies heads like daisies
Your world is full of hate and filth
I'll rape your dog with a plow...

Drugs and guns, drugs and guns
C'mon man, let's go kill someone
Cheap fuckers, sheep fuckers
You're all cheap fuckers...

I'M IN LOVE (WITH A DEAD DOG)

When I first met you, I knew I loved you
Now that one + one is two
I don't want to cum inside of you
Now I kiss your lips
Now I mount your hips
Now I read your mind
Your slimey hind- sublime!

I'm feeling the peeling, mind reeling
I race unto the plague
I'll bring you a big coat of butter to slick your dead dick way
I'm in love with a dead dog...

Paw in fist we stalk through the rutabaga garden
We've been to the clinic, we know our love is clean
We walk together, but fill up separately
We share a cheese ball, we just do it all

The butter so bitter, the shitter
Well it gapes vacantly
The higher the litter, the shitter
Has justly righted three...

(the death of pookie)

You begin to bore me, with your breath like rubber
You scream 'don't stop'
I hope you don't pop
I'm in love, with a shove
Meaty glove

SLUTMAN CITY

I have travelled many miles and I have wiped away many smiles
I've come from my icy pit just to rub your face in shit

Slutman city- life without shame
Slutman city- so much flesh to maim!

We grant you sweet release from your useless life
Of your heart I'll have a piece impaled on my knife
Your world to rape, your life sucked dry
The purity of wisdom, a withered husk, flies thrive

Human race now rules the earth, but I tell you you're not the
first
Your cities built on corpses, you best beware
Your towers will crumble as did theirs!

Slutman city- pimples on my butt
Slutman city- bestial necrophiliac's busting nuts

Your world is doomed, you wonder why
You bleed her daily and now flies thrive
You wanna do drugs? own expensive rugs?
With much aplomb - you'll watch me rape your mom

Tattered millions bathe in hate
Tons of junk and crack to take!!
Teenage girls to eviscerate -
Gorged out eyeballs, gonna vomit on your plate
Slutman city!!
Slutman city!!!

We masturbate and we create
The human race, the spawn of apes
We rape and kill, until we're done
You ask me why - Ha! Ha!
Because it's fun

WORLD O' FILTH

Welcome to your world o' filth
Where costly cash is jumbo puke
The words they rhyme the sound you crave
You lust for what's called jumbo pave
For what's called jumbo pay - a

Here within your filthy world
The terror mongers fight the squirrels
So come on down to dynasty
And you get muscular dystrophy

That girl outside, she said she'd lick but she lied
Your world it writhes, it makes me frown
But you can set it aflame
The molten nipple mound!

Your lives - controlled
Fortune favors the bold!!!

World o' filth, filth, filth, filth, filth, filth, etc...

WAR TOY

Churning through the bestial muck
A cosmic forklift rules my throbbing asshole
The all-eye says you are the right slave
To be my anal knave
Tongue in my anal cave

Boy!! You're just a war toy
Just my little anal butter boy
Oh I'm so filled with joy
Now I know glee

10 million hosebags every day
They die for me to have my way
Surely it is their deaths they seek
To brave my toxic anal reek

'Cause I'm so glad he is among us
I'm so glad he is a fungus
I'm so glad he is among us
Philled condoms
My nipples explode!!!

You're just a war toy
Let's all go drink and kill and fart
Yeah sure it's fun but is it art? (toughie!)
The all-eye sees the butt disease
Humanity is on its knees
With little boys...

CAPTAIN CRUNCH

Everybody needs somebody to abuse
Everybody needs a lotta stuff to eat (shit)
Everybody gonna be a body one day
Having fun? (Mortal scum) rest assured it's not for long

When you least expect, your world reels
You fall to the ground, will heaven protect it (no)
A strange new world that you found and now

Bodies waken, souls a quakin'
You see your jellied corpse a bakin'
Your world teeters on the brink of madness...
We shall... kick that bitch over with gladness

You enter the sex plague
You cannot breed
And you await death
Your anus bleeeeeds....

When you're all dead we'll still be here
Having butt sex- cause I'm so - queeeeeeeeeeer....!!
Disciples of sin!!!

AS PURE AS THE ARCTIC SNOW

Long ago- we lay frozen deep in snow
It was nice- suspended in the endless ice
Time flew by- worlds did weep and kingdoms died
Still we slept- knowing that destiny crept

The planets aligned
No longer, no longer confined
The humans so blind
Your race is of a futile kind

As pure as the arctic snow! Woah!!

And now we stand
Helm on head and sword in hand
Our righteous wrath
Cleave through your ranks a bloody path
Your system- sucks!!
Your cities stink, your world is fucked
So come to us
Or you'll drown in a sea of pus!!
Drown in pus!!!

JE M' APPELLE JACQUES COUSETAU

I was there at the cattle fair
Where lump fairies swear at glories far beyond the fabric that she
wears
He said 'do you want a chair?'
I'd join him anywhere!

A hole in ground in this theater I found
J.C.'s infernal horde
They caper, they banter, forming human pyramids
All to please their infernal lord

Woah! His name is Jacques Cousteau
A pussy and I know you know
I know you know and there he goes
He goes and grows, oh gosh he knows
Aboard the Calypso

The foam beside and a burly sea to ride
All spell goodness for the master of the whirling pimple tide
He tried and pried until the rusty hinges sighed
Then he stepped inside
He found her there swimming in her seaweed hair
Looking vaguely like a lover who had hung herself with underwear
Phosphorescent green and the sex act made obscene
In Jacques' galleon of hatred this wrinkled Frenchman is a
living god!!!

Cousteau you know where the dying dolphins go
And the wasteland ever growing never slowing till it's far below
Put it on your TV show
And let the humans know!!!

GWAR THEME

Gazing through that toothy maw
You could not conceive what I saw
In my land there is no sun
In my country there are no guns- ok!

Cause we are GWAR!!!
And we'll go far!!!
We've got guitars (2 of them)
We'll go to war!!! (thrash your bar, wreck your car, etc...)

GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR!

Steel and leather, whips and chains
We've learned how to enjoy pain!
Life in a cage ain't too groovy
Now only the penthouse will do me!!!

BONE MEAL

Piles of burnt corpses we're turning screws
Turn 'em into bone meal for our troops to use!
Turn on the ovens, get in the shower
Get out the wheelbarrows we'll be at it for hours!

Bone meal! Better than no meal at all
Bone meal! Better than no meal so get in the stall

OLLIE NORTH

(backwards message at the beginning is a George Michael song)

lickylickylickylickylickylickylicky
lickylickylickylickylickylickylicky
takeaickylickreemmyasslickmyfatcock
gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygay

Oh when I got up today oooooooooh I got a splitting headache...
Oh baby......I gotta get away......
I take a day, be taking 25, got cancer in my butt but I gotta stay
alive.....
Ignore it honey... and it will go away.......

TECHNO'S SONG

Now that the cosmic control tape is in my grasp, this band will play
anything I want perfectly the first time through... While I was sitting on
the toilet the other day I wrote this ditty and I though you guys, like,
might like to play it for me, cause I am Techno Destructo and I can
out-fight, out-fuck, and out-fart any of you lame-ass motherfuckin' rock
stars... Cause I am Techno Destructo, and I come from beyond Venus, beyond
Jupiter, and that's way past Uranus, buddy. And I come from here with a
mission... Give up the decadent rock and roll lifestyle and join me and
the Master in a holy jihad to rid the universe of his deadly enemies.
GWAR will serve the Master... or GWAR will die!

I'm the walking nightmare with the microchip brain
A megaton bufferin to forever end your pain
When it comes to taking life I'm the cosmic leach
I'll make World War III seem like Sunday at the beach!!!

GWAR must die!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the massive Pukeoplex
Organized Death Arena, where tonight we've got that intergalactic potato
masher Techno Destructo facing off against Oderus Urungus and (Aries
kid(?)) in a no holds barred... Woah! They haven't even shaken hands and
Oderus has been pounded in the nuts with a Marshall stack... What's Techno
doing? He's breaking open his skull! He's.. he's... he's making a meal
out of Oderus's brain!!!}

I can't comprehend on how you get your thrills
Dicing up worms and making love to roadkill
The decadence of you lives was just as clear as glass
Now it's broken into shards I can shove into your ass!!

U AIN'T SHIT

My life is in a rut and I need a big kick in the butt
My mind meets the hand of doom
Don'tcha know- he's in this room!!!

U Ain't Shit until
U learn how to rock!!!

Where's my fucking axe?
Don't need no shit playing sax!
Get the fuck- get the fuck out of my face!
'Cause tonight there's meat on the menu!

U aint' shit until you learn how to rock!!!

ROCK AND ROLL PARTY TOWN

Rock and roll- dyn-o-mite!!!
Party all day... party all night!!!
Hey there girl - do you like my big dick?
Hey there baby - suck it till it gets real thick!

Rock and roll party town
Rock and roll gonna party down
Rock and roll party town
She's a rock and roller, she's a party stroller!!!

Rock and roll - it's a sex machine
Rock and roll - do you know what I mean?
Rock and roll - now it's time to go
Rock and roll - see you after the show!!!

5.3b Scumdogs of the Universe

SALAMINIZER

Here's a little something from a God to a slave,
I never should of been let out the fucking microwave!
We're on this planet and we're running a muck,
I should give a shit but I don't give a fuck!
Ever since I was a scumdog, I blew a cum-wad.
I need a mother-fucking suckadickalickalong!
Burning a mall or two, blowing the load I spew.
You don't wanna fucking fuck me? I'll Fuck you!
This is your ass, and I'm in it.
My man sexy will fuck you up in a minuet.
With an axe, sword, mace, pike your limbless.
Then I'll fuck your ass till its rimless!

Chorus: Oh! You humans always screaming!
Oh! As you suckle on my semen!
Oh! And the shit is always steamin'
A drunk, a pervert, a junkie and a sodimizer.
But you can call me the salaminizer
Give unto give unto give unto give unto
Me more me more me more (X2)

My life is a luxury, so filled with hate.
I got fifty slaves heaping maggots on my plate.
From my fortress in Antarctica I watch the world die
On my Sony Trinitron that's switched to channel 5.
B-B-B-Back on the road, its no lie....
Stupid fucking humans pay money to die!
Crushed in the pit, nailed to the stage
I only suck the souls that are underage.

(Repeat Chorus)

MAGGOTS

Vile forms of Necros lie rotting my mind
Feasting like maggots - maggots in flesh
So left your ruined cortex behind
Now the maggot knows glee as it nibbles on your spine!

Chorus: Maggots! Maggots! Maggots are falling like rain!

Putrid pus-pools vomit blubonic plague
The bowels of the beast reek of
How to describe such vileness on the page
World maggot waits for the end of the age!

(Chorus)

Beneath a sky of maggots I walked
Until those maggots began to fall
I gaped at God to receive my gift
Bathed in maggots till the planet shit

(Repeat chorus a lot)

SICK OF YOU

Your socks they smell, your feet they stink,
You never take a bath.
Your nose it runs, you bust your buns,
You always finish last.

Chorus: Sick! (Sick) Of! (Of) Youuuuu.
(x 2) I'm so sick, so sick of you.

Your face is gross, you eat white toast,
You don't know what to do.
It's just your luck, you really suck,
That's all - I'm sick of you

(Chorus)

(Bring it down... I said bring it down! Thank you)

Don't ya know? So sick of you.
Things you say, and all the things you do. (x6)

(Chorus x3)

Human filth..
Sick!

SLAUGHTERAMA
(vocals a la Sleazy)

With a battle cry go forth which is "Give the people what they want."
And what the people want could only be the senseless slaughter of the
gutter-slime that litters this nation for cash and prizes. Yes, this is
the show where people bet their lives to win something big. Cause when
your life is shit, then you haven't got much to lose on Slaughterama!
This next geek is guilty of the following: A Grateful Dead life for
which he's been allowing. Tried to tell us "Give peace a chance." Met
the National Guard and he shit in his pants. Its not you imagination,
its not a bad trip(y), yes thats him - Its the big smelly hippy! Hello
Mr.Hippy, nice to meet ya. Hey, got a little shit between your toes.
How's things at the ol' manure factory? How's little Tofu? What!? She
grew another head? Well, ya gotta lay off that LSD y'know, kinda makes
your offspring goofy-looking. So, how do ya hide money from a hippy?
Put it under the soap. I'm sorry but that answer wasn't in time, your
gonna have to put your mouth on this. Whoa! I blew your head clean off.
Good thing I was such an expert shot with the National Guard back in
Penn State. There's nothing like hippy honey. My dad always use to take
me with Lee Harvey Oswald.
All right, we're rocking now. Worlds biggest hair, worlds tightest pants
got no circulation but you still can't dance. Fashion is a statement and
sometimes a risk. Every fashion had its faults, but yours is the pits.
Always in black, looks like he's dead - Here's the art-fag lying on his
death-bed. Hello Mr.Art-Fag, come on out here. Say, what a hairdo. Its
awfully big. As big as the.. the.. the Hindenburg and it will go up just
as fast if I put this lighter to it. But no, I'm gonna hold out and ask
you this question: What ever happened to Eddie Munster? I'm looking at
him! Oh, Oderus help the boy with his hairdo there.... ooh, its getting
ripped off. Ow, you know that's gotta hurt. Hey, what's Oderus trying to
do with his face? Is that a face-lift? No, he's pulling that face clean
off. Ahhhhh. Help that sod outta here..
Gave up pussy, stopped to a toot. Now you can't wait to give someone the
boot. Elbows and knuckles, all you knows how. Follows the heard, just
another cow. Brain full of shit, boots full of lead. Scream for him now
here's the nazi skinhead. Hello Mr.Nazi Skinhead how'ya doin'? How's
Geraldo's nose? Still broken? Well it's good to see ya still on the job.
Y'know when you're mugging talk show commentators in bathrooms, always
remember to draw the swastika turning to the right, not to the left,
always to the right. Why do nazi skinheads wear red suspenders anyway?
He doesn't have to tell you. Time to give this nazi skinhead one more
haircut, real close to the shoulders like. Whoa! His heads been
decapitated. Look at all that PSI in he aorta artery. Whoa! Is he a
gusher or what?
Well, ladies and gentlemen that's all for this week. We've killed
everyone worth killing, hope you do the same. We'll Be back next week
for another edition of Slaughterama. It's full of existential despair. It's
full of people who just don't care. Don't feel sorry for them. They've
chosen there own pathetic life.

THE YEARS WITHOUT LIGHT

Scanning the crowd. Defiling the writhing masses.
I saw your death, Impaled on iron fences.
Your fate was sealed. Your doom, to died on T.V.
Because your death, your bloody death will never please me.

You don't know what its like, yes you never could
possibly understand. I would you would. What it means
to stand where I stand; Atop a heap of heads and hands.

Now its time to devide the line, to make up whats left of
mind. Now you know, you know its almost time. Your world,
your doom, your life, your destiny. To live for GWAR and
die, die, die for me.

You must not let them stop what you do,
You may be destroyed before I enter you
And you will do as I tell you to.

The years without light.

(Meaningless jumble of Antarctican gibberish)

KING QUEEN

One thing that I know:
That everywhere I fucking go
People writhe with piles of corpses,
Rotting on there down below.
And they all beg forgiveness.
And so you know I will give them this.
Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!

Living in the future now,
Y'know I'm moving much too fast.
I feel like I'm dying
even though I'm living in the past.
And this immortal coil
You know that it will always last.
And now I think I'll have to sing
about the death and horror that I bring:

Gay apparel
I put it on, put it on
Sucking the marrow.
And as you die I sing this song.
Oh! How shocking, how dare you.
Dare to die before I'm through.
Supposed I'll have to resurrect you
And bathe your bowels in boiling spew.

Now its time, almost time.
Now its time to...

I'm gazing at you broken bones.
I feel lost and so forlorn.
Another death, another mess,
Another shroud that I have worn.
Another box that I begin,
Another grave you'll soon be in.
I concentrate the lovely hate.
But you're looking kinda thin.

King Queen,
King Queen, its so obscene. (x2)

Infinite ruin!
Life falls down.
Look at me spewing.
You begged me to come to this town.
When your clubs crushed and you friends are dead,
Then you'll remember just-a what I said:
I'm the qeeniest being that there ever has been.
Dare you tempt the wrath?
The wrath of old King Queen?

Now it's time, almost time.
Now it's time to die!

When your clubs crushed and your friends are dead,
Then you'll remember just-a what I said: (x2)
I'm the queenliest being that there ever has been (x3)
Dare you tempt the wrath?
The wrath of old King Queen?

Crush you like bug - Smash steel and stone.
Obliterate, dominate. Call this planet home.

King Queen.
King Queen. (x3)

HORROR OF YIG

I saw Yig. Yig saw me. We're together in dark concavity.
I saw Yig. He's so big. He somkes cigs. Eats just like a pig.
Ooooohhhhhh!
I saw Yig. I saw Yig. I saw, I saw Yig!
Yig now is shifting his gibbering mass.
He hides boils with maggots.
The pus-sac extrudes.
The horror that is Yig...
When he rapes your mind, your mind will snap like a twig.
Shaping and raping, his conscience is clear.
Infest - black death. Spreads hate and foul cheer.
The horror,
The HORROR!
Where Yig doth tread no man tread tomorrow.
Reeking death harvest of humans in hatred.
Suck on the shitbag of what you created,
What we created.
Yig now in coming, Yig now is here.
Yig now he makes things impossibly queer.
Piles of maggots
Clouds of flies
Putrid breath
And bulging eyes.
Yig comes and you die, you all die.

VLAD THE IMPLALER

Chorus: Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a sailor but he's
Vlad, Vlad, Vlad the impaler
Vlad, Vlad, He could have been a Whaler
He could have been a Tailor,
He turned out to be Norman Mailer

Whoaaoo

He stepped back and he smoked a joint
Twenty thousand peasants had to get the point
Mommy was a hamster, Daddy was a jailor
Real tough childhood for such a fucking failure

He's Vlad!
(chorus)

He's so glad he's Vlad

When he was a boy, they sent him to the Turks
But you know they didn't like him
because all the Turks were jerks
When Vlad returned home his wrath
for his ancient foe had spurned
But the ancient art of impalement
was something that the boy had learned

Oh, how he learned
He learned, they burned and burned and burned
Rotisseries of corpses turned

He's so glad, oh he's so glad he's Vlad

BLACK AND HUGE

You know I'm totally flaccid - I'm just a limp, mega-prick
You know I'm looking for a stupid white chick

Chorus: Because I'm black and huge
Black and huge
Black and huge
Black and Huge, black and huge -
All the women hate me in the porno booth

And now I see you, your there on the ground
And now you know, yeah I'm raising a mound
I'm gonna got you, make you erupt
If I could just get out of this cup

(Chorus)

LOVE SURGERY

Your flesh is insignificant...
Still you drag yourself here on bloody stumps
I amputate you - I recreate you
You defile my womb
hahahahahaha

However weak it still appealing
Sights to send senses reeling
See your nipples stripped from you
Tossed into my human stew

Chorus: That's why you came to me...
You were begging for love surgery
It's the way - the way its got to be
It's called love surgery

Punks and priest, yeah they're all in there
A beggars bludgeoned with their shinwear
Bubbling cauldron choked with ichor
Well I must think of something sicker

(Chorus)

Anticipate the nipple rape
Dish is almost done
The child has died, he must be fried
You humans - all the same inside

Now the cauldron starts to boil
I can feel my anus heave
The undergarment start to soil
And now I know its time to leave
When a demi-God blows bloody sperm
It does not stop, it starts to worm
And you shall achieve a maggot spunge-hole effect
Ohhh Scary

DEATH POD

Death Pod comes from the sky - it does

Through the space, through the stone
Where the Master grows his clones
Where the legions wage eternal war
We were born in this place
Slaughtering race after race
We were part of The Scumdogs of the Universe

Chorus: Hey Hey! Hey Hey! Hey Hey! Hey Hey!
The Death Pod is leaving
The Death Pods dismissed
The Death Pod is coming
The Death Pod is pissed
Death Pod comes from the sky - it does

The Master he gave us tools to despoil all he ruled
Plasma cannons spewing death on anything that dared protrude
But we craved for power, the wars been getting sour
The Pod was built, millions kilt,
and something that could kick my ass

(Chorus)

Sucking the scrod, blowing my wad
Blowing my wad all over God

Dismissed!

Foolish mortal you didn't barge in on the power of the Death Pod
did ya? Huh, huh? Well now you shall receive:
The heat-seeking moister missile

Death Pod comes from the sky - it does

The day it came, the blood was rain
We harvested eternal pain
The battle raged for a billion years
But through the burning corpses pall
It was revealed that GWAR would fall
And were banished to this miserable
mudball planet.

(Chorus)

SEXECUTIONER
(vocals by Sexecutioner)

Sexcuse me, but what-a good is all the violence in the world
unless it is toppled with limitless sex?
Bring out the limitless sex-object and allow me, Sexecutioner
to sexplain the seriousness of this subject, now if
you all will attend to my words you will see....

I'm a naughty fellow
In fact I'm certainly not too very mellow
I came to this place to rearrange you face

Chorus: La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Sexcellent!
la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Sexcuse me!
Ho-ho-ho-ha

So you think you are all very smart
You know many words
But theres only one thing you need to know
For the rest of your life

Sexecutioner
Sexecutioner
Sexecuting'ya
Sexecutioner

(Chorus)

I am from France (He is from France)
And when you are in France,
You pull down you pants (You pull down your pants)
And when your on you knees (When your on you knees)
You will do as I please (You'll do as he pleases)

Red Rover - bend over
And let Sexy take over

COOL PLACE TO PARK
(vocals by Beefcake)

Frozen it time.

We watched as you grew.
Now the ice is gone.
And now, we travel on -
Seems like forever.
Y'know we're look for...
We can't find cool cool cool place to park

Old Medusa with her gorgon braids
She invites us to her promenade
Driving in our death-machines
A thousand years or more
Around and around and around and around the block
Y'know we're looking for
A cool place to park

Satan's sow is honking
Hera's slowly creeping
Nymphs in my back seat all dripping
on my naugahide
Please let me find
A cool place to park

Your golden arches and your shopping malls
Remind us that you must fall...

FALL - DOWN
FALL - DOWN
FALL - DOWN [repeat over and over]

5.3c America Must be Destroyed

HAM ON THE BONE

Can you hear the whispering wind
Over the screams of your dying friends?
Did you know your life is mine?

Chorus: You know what I got
Ham on the bone
A little thing I just can't leave alone
Now I feel the purpose of my life defined
Ham on the bone is mine

Now you are called
To the desperate scene at the throbbing ball
And you'll do it all, now you've become my geni-thrall

(chorus)

Ham on Ham, Ham on the ham on the ham on [x5]

Now my hand grasp
my throbbing root and shan't unclasp
Go to the head of the class
as I madly stoke my flaccid shaft

(chorus)

Ham Ham Ham Ham - Ham on the Bone [x4]

CRACK IN THE EGG

The egg was spawned in our mutation pit
In the bowels of your Earth it was grown
Feeding on the blood of you loinspawn
And all the filthy load that was blown
Now the time is right for birth
And whatever it is shall stalk the Earth
What it looks like, I care not
I just hope it kills a lot

Crack in the egg
Crack in the egg
The time is right
Crack in my pipe

Parasitical scum, you die so easily
But you always have sickened me
Your will enslaved, you grovel for more
Soon your bowels will litter the floor
Cannibalistic depravity
Bereft of all humanity
A fitting feast of abject insanity
A dark curtain before last calamity

There is but one way to give the egg life
Murder the innocent souls
Their fluids project as their nipples are flayed
Their skulls are fashioned into bowels
You masses of humans are gagging in glee
Now you gape but soon you'll be here with me
If you're really lucky I'll vomit on thee
I'll shit in your stump and then bathe you in pee

Sunder your forms with my withering hacks
Mash up your face with my gauntleted smacks
Now bring me dead babies let their be no lack
Slave: "I got a bunch of them here in my sack"

I slaughtered your daughters, I mangled your sons
If we kill enough of them the Gor-Gor will come
The end of your race, we approach the hour
Gor-Gor will get a blood-red baby shower
We bathe him in death to celebrate life
I'll be the doctor and Beef the midwife
But it takes so long, how can I cut slack
Beefcake: "Shoot that fucker up with some crack"

Gor-Gor see him now inside the egg
Please come out, Gor-Gor of you I beg
Will he be a happy child? Maybe
Most likely he'll be a crack-baby
We infected his being with evil drugs
So he would grow up and be a thug
Destroy the planet, the world he will mug
The human race will die and we will just shrug

GOR-GOR

Gor-Gor...

Gor-Gor comes and sirens wail
Mournful drone of babbling fail
Thunderous gnashing firestorm
Flames illuminate his form
Gor-Gor comes and you must die
Swats F-16s from the sky
Admit you crave the gift he brings you
Fall worship tyrant king, you

Gor-Gor!

Sow pestilent hate
It shall obliterate
The shadows of your long dead brothers
And all the mutilated others
Who died in waves, uniform
To appease your bloodied hulking form
Who broke through layers of moletn strata
To make the planet earth errata

Take the chuld in champing jaws
A pulping pile of frothing flaws
This horrid mass shall give us pause
At putrid rot fills gaping maws

Gor-Gor!
Gor-Gor big!

Skulls are smashed and bones are bending
Joints are popping, our claws are rending
Groveling, sniveling, driveling horde
To worship scaly overlord

Apocalypse becomes creation
Gor-Gor shall erase the nation
Before you jump into his gizzard
Fall and worship tyrant lizard
Gor-Gor comes and you must die
He swats the stealth down from the sky
Admit you crave the gift he brings you
Fall and worship tyrant king you

Gor-Gor!

HAVE YOU SEEN ME?

Mommies, I've been stealing your babies
I gag the brat and then maybe...
I'll suck out his brain

You know...
Dead kids, they're making me feel almost hard
Go get one from the school yard
He bled like a stuck pig

Chorus: Have you seen me?
Have you seen me?
Have you seen me?
Me..
Have you seen me?
kids: "Have you seen me?"

Suckle my bloated love knuckle
Just like Fatty Arbuckle
I'm gay and I'm proud

That right...
Faggot and a corpse full of maggots
I wanna blow cum not bag it
Goddamnit I'm horny!

[Chorus]

It's just a dead child
An object I've defiled
Yes I know its wrong
You'd rather that it was your mom? [x2]

Your mom, my mom, our mom, anybody's mom

Have you seen me?
Have you seen me?
Have you motherfucking seen me?
Have you seen me?
Have you seen me?
Me...
Have you seen me?
Have..You..Seen...Me!!!

Sated! Now that I masturbated
I'm in love but I'm hated
I don't follow the crowd
But I said you..
Your covered in vile spew
My filthy chunks are all over you
My filthy filthy filthy chunks
My filthy filthy filthy....

THE MORALITY SQUAD
(vocals by Edna P. Granbo)

We're the Morality Squad
Armed with the wrath of God
My name is Granbo
And here's my holy hot-rod
Freedom to all the people
Brave, true and strong
Freedom to all the people
Unless I think your wrong!

Blasphemy!
Rapist mentality!
Teen Suicide!
Necro-bestial anal butt sex!

Ohhhhh!

I got a couple of friends here
Trained by the C.I.A.
Special agents here
To blow you the hell away!
GWAR, your the worst, I'll put an end to you
Your even grosser then 2 Live Crew

My grandsons a super hero
Just back from the war in Iraq
C.P:"My name is Corporal Punishment,
I want to scratch your back"
My nephew Tiny, a hundred tons a man
Tiny:"Aarargrgaggrgrg"

GILDED LILY

Well I've been wearing a gilded lily
Cunningly carved in a manner frilly
To my design it was created
No deviation was tolerated
My gilded lily, he thinks he's funny
My gilded lily, he's worth cash money
My gilded lily, he made me a smarty
I wear my lily to all the right parties go

I was the envy of all the horde
I proclaimed myself overlord
My gilded lily gives me all this and more
I puke my guts all over the floor

I found the entertainment banal so,
Through trenches of flesh we carved a canal
Lead harlequin then drew his last
He held a bejeweled theatrical mask
The door heaved and then exploded
We split the bill and then drove home loaded
When we got there the paint was peeling
We rose an Jell-O cubes to the ceiling

I wear the lily
Gaily festooned in a manner silly
Draped in apparel
I bathe in the smell

I gild the lily
Adroitly crafted yet willy nilly
I wear the lily
When I part with Milli Vanilli

And soon the pleasure barges
Rolled with the sun, pleasantly bloated
We mingles as one amidst debris of
Debauchery, I looked for the lily and
just found me

And all the while gilded lily faded
Though it was the best I created
But gilded lily was still in place
It made a mockery of my face
And delivered us a surprise
The hulking mass of what we despised
We lurched away as we moved to snuff it
And we delivered a princely buffet
Soon the continent split all asunder
And the radios blared to the blunder
My gilded lily expanded while spinning
That's when I found out that we were winning
Fondly clutching our raging piss-ons
We piled up, peeled out, veered off
and then we were gone

ROCK'N'ROLL NEVER FELT SO GOOD

I met her at a donkey show. She was minuets past thirteen.
Sucking on a cherry yoo-hoo. Reading "Nugget" magazine.
Cum splattered tube-top. Scrawny pre-pube tits.
That's when I saw she was quadraplechick.

And I said "Baby you're looking good"
That's when I noticed her legs were wood
I grabbed a stump and dragged her out the door
I need a hole I don't need no hips
I laid a line of coke on her tits
That's when I ripped off her dirty shit-filled drawers

Chorus: Good, should, could, I think it feels pretty good [x2]
So good, so good, so good, so good, so good, so good [x a lot]

It wasn't nothing pretty, she took my genital germ
Her limbless body thrashed about filled with infected sperm
I criss-crossed with the cables, I smashed her face through a door
They found her in a plastic bag down by highway 64

And I said "Baby your looking good"
That's when I saw her legs were wood
And all you people...
You just can't understand
I need a hole I don't need know hips
I need the taste of dick on my lips
I fucked her asshole with a piece of frozen shit

[Chorus]

POOR OLE TOM

This is the story of poor ole tom:

He wakes, crusted in vomit
He sobs, his bowels release
His face is painted like a clown
His face contorts in agony

Chorus: Poor Tom - Poor Ole Tom
Poor Tom - Ole Poor Tom (x2)

You wake and wait
But you don't want to wait
You drag yourself from sleep
But look, Tom is coming
You kick him, kick him in the teeth

[Chorus]

He is a buffonish harlequin
With a nasty habit of getting
The shit - the shit kicked out of him

[Chorus]

The local Nazi bully boys
Must be rid of Tom
So the Death Camp will be immaculate
When they turn the ovens on!

They smashed his face in the shit
He writhed in his death throes...

[Chorus]

BLIMEY

At home we're bored
Just got off another shitty tour
Moat filled with flaming pus
Sleazy, he wont talk to us
Fondle fish in way illegal
Coffin filled with dirty needles

Chorus: Blimey! Blimey!
What do you de when you feel like that?
Blimey! Blimey!

Bio-Mutant Sexy made
Heave it down the balustrade
Give it fish, tell it to run
We indulge in naughty fun
Sexy's flanks are torn and rent
Slimey's on the rag again

[Chorus]

That's right folks, here in the Hall Of Human Hatred
we've got some of your most inspired brethren, genocidal
maniacs who carved their way through the history books
straight into your hearts. We got Caligula, mad emperor of
Rome whose purges consumed thousands on his blazing altar
of syphilis. Or how about Giles Lavalle, medieval crusader
of Gods will whose search for the elixir of life led to the
ritual satanic killings of thousands of Parisian youth. Or
Julius, religious despot, whose slaughter of the intelligentsia
of Milan gave him the nickname of "The Warrior Pope" That's
right, some of the greatest mass murderers in you sad, yet
vibrant history, are here enshrined, impaled and pumped with
agonizing life...

Tummys tingle, tongues a-mingle
Forced extraction of corn-choked shingle
Bristling amoeba hole matching cunt for every bowl
Madly failing porno cow, get me on the road right now!

[Chorus]

THE ROAD BEHIND
(chorus B vocals by Beefcake)

Well I'm traveling down the road
And I'm carrying that heavy load
I walk around in a stupor
Sleazy, I cant do the show
Hanging out backstage
I'm in a homocidal rage
I signed a million dollar contract
I puked on every page
Slaughtered half the crew
Caused they ate the deli-tray
Oh Baby hey
Said I'd do the show but I
Canceled anyway

Chorus A: You were road kill baby
Till I scraped you in my arms
Just another wattle flapping
On the old turkey farm
So baby....

Chorus B: And while the wheels keep rolling
And another signpost gone
All along the road behind
Oh can't you hear me calling
Like the sad whale song
I'm on the road behind

Well there you have it baby
I'm just a sensitive guy
Y'know I snuffed a million planets
But I still find time to cry
Because there's more to life
Then making other people die
Like a little bloody tear
Running out my dirty little eye
And some things baby
They don't make no sence
Does it really matter if it bugs
Your parents?

[Chorus A]

Now baby quit yer crying
Put those clown britches on

[Chorus B]

A sad whale song...
sad whale baby

PUSSY PLANET

Into the valley we go
To bliss the witch, she sucking
Ultimate power
Life's suck zonk zone
Stands over you
Squat launching you

WAHHH WAHHHHH

Humans squirm, stomachs churning
Squander seed and energy
Reaping, weeping, porno-peeping
Your greasy poot
Distorts the truth

WAHH WAAHHHHH

5.3d This Toilet Earth

SADDAM A GO-GO

I at the time was a communist
Lived on a collective farm
She was a part-time anarchist
Our sex went off like a bomb
Living the life of a terrorist
Looking for the man Saddam,
Who gave me a gun as Iran to the sun
If you die like a dog then you are
then you are

Saddam. Hail!
They shall drown in their own blood!
Hail Saddam a go-go!

Going to Saddam a go-go
Everybody is there
Business of strange bed fellows
Makes you dance around like a bear
Ein, Schwein, kick him in the eye
Teamed up with the Asian eye
They were the ones
Who could rise with the sun
As they lived in their planes
And they died [repeat a lot!]
How they died...

Hail!
The running paper tiger chases its own tail
Hail Saddam a go-go

He was someone who was there for people like me
Hi there Saddam, loved the party
Yes they're all here with me
Bloody Saddam
Loves you always, always a kick
Bloody Saddam
Even though the smell is making me sick
As we sit on our roofs
And cheer as your scuds fall like rain

Here at the ancient ziggaraunt
Saddam is presiding there
Running around with a saxophone
Where is the president, where?
Here it comes, the black tornado
Let's have a cheer for Sarajevo
If you survive what falls out of his mind
You'll make the political world

PENIS I SEE

They won't talk but still they say
You kill for kicks, you got bills to pay
Well baby I got bills to pay
Don't make me act that way?

Chorus: Have you seen the center spread
Stitched up like a baseball head
She was dead before they raped her
Now she's in the funny paper

Pity and sin
He's breaking in
I am so sleepy
Please don't rape me
Me
Me
Penis I see

Did you ever want to be obscene
In a muerto magazine
Filled with hate you hope to ween
Fight the beast and leave the cream
Leave the scene

It's so easy to be the latest atrocity
But it always seem to be a penis that I see
You'd be suprised to discover
My level of empathy
I've gone from prey to victim
Penis in me

(Chorus)

Splattered face mouths wordless whys
Fingerprints are on the eyes
In a box out back I kept her
Plugged her stinking where I left her
That's where I kept her

EAT STEEL
(vocals by Beefcake)

I see you coming a mile away
I will not listen to a word you say

Chorus: Look into my cold, dark eyes
I will never apologize
And you will...

EAT STEEL
EAT STEEL
EAT STEEL [etc...]

(Chorus)

JACK THE WORLD

Rid yourself of all the worthless crap in which you wallow
Here's an iron fist of death for you to swallow
Undead from Antarctia, the signals pumping free
C'mon lets wake the maggot up, it's on Slave Pit T.V.

You might sleep on concrete slabs, or be a blithering bohab
Yet your growth is exponential if you consume excremental

Chorus: Pay to Play
Every single day
You feel your brain cells
Melt away
The appalling calling
Why don't you go away?
We'll jack your world!

Now your in the maggot chamber, corpses fill the charnel manger
Toilets pointing underground, can't forget the sloppy sound

Jack jack the world (x3)

(Chorus)

I wanna suck like lovers do
I wanna lose a Grammy too
I wanna kick the teeth outta you

SONDERKOMMANDO

And blundering brightly through the night
Astride the thunderous, flaming trident bike
The choked back years of jeers
Flashing forceful through their peers
Inflicting beastly cheesy beaver bite

Chorus: What would you do?
You'd do your job
Sonderkommando
King for a day

Naked infants left alone
Syntho-nipple, pit of stone
Ravaged in an inane grip
Chewing chicken from the lip

Those that survived found a place
With the elders of the race
Tossed upon the heaving brine
Spreading hatred to mankind
Maggot palace, rod of bone
Slave to fetid underloam
Who gibbers at the Nauseater
Fudge-packed, dimple fecal leaper

(chorus)

BAD BAD MEN

Billy was and orphan, Tommy was a whore
Poe got drunk in Baltimore
Getting drunk and shooting guns was all he ever had
Could it be that's what made our boy so bad

Bad bad men and they're coming to town (Bad men)
They shot a man just for snoring to load
Billy the kid, Jesse James..
The jail is wide open and the towns in flames

Sneaking in the back door, hiding in the night
Capering with corpses in the dank moonlight
They started robbing banks, then cattle mutilation
Now his offsprings terrorize the nation
Billy got drunk, Bull got even
Bull went belly-up and joined up with the G-men
Piece of meat in the street, torn apart in the town
By the inflatable hands of a sinister clown

Bad bad men and they're coming to town (Bad men)
Shot a man just for snoring too damn loud
Robert DeNiro, when he's a here
Bring on the anti-hero, my zero-hero

Hearts full of anger, hearts full of fear
Billy looked up from the bed
and said, "I'm walking outta here"
It's a new religion, carnival of crime
Doomed to repetition, with it we mark time

I feel jacked up, drinking my 4-O
Blew your face to the bumper
And then I just said, "Yo"
Ita live
show from 1989. Track 1 is from Fangoria's viyou up that dusty road
and leave you creeking in the breeze

PEPPERONI

You say that you want some pepperoni
I'll give you a fistful of my pepperoni
You say that you want some ramajama
I said I'd treat'cha If I meet'cha in the bathroom

In..Out..In..Out..In..Out..White Boy!
White Boy!
White Boy! (etc...)

We go to the mansion every Friday night
In the masters chambers with the governors wife
He came on in with a big 'ole carving knife
I was running down the street, I was running for my life

That white funk ain't got no soul
White boy pussy ain't got no hole
That white boy's addicted to crack
Pearly white needs bloody, bloody back

In..Out..In..Out..In..Out...White Boy!

THE INSIDIOUS SOLILOGUY OF SKULHEDFACE
(vocals by Skulhedface)

How inquisitive, and delighting
you've inquired who the hell I am..

Allow me to elucidate, perhaps pontificate
Upon the state of my most great
and perfect plan

I am he who has been him back when man
Swam Pangean seas as aquatic apes
I am he who has been her as she once
Bled the world with the words of psychotic fate

While GWAR slept I kept their minds content
To give their flesh consent to my
Ever loving seed

Undying research has given to death, rebirth
The tools of urber science to fight
Most faceless enemies

Who do you think your up against?
Some chaotic stupidity
I'll show you conflict management
With my extensive Supergeniusoity

Inventions of my secret lab
The Homogenizer
It studies the species Bohad
Homo cum sum a tor
What is it that makes the ideal man?
Bravado? Machismo?
Is it something secreted from the gland?
It's called Jizmogloben

If death, to you is a bore
And life just seems to lack
Consider becoming a whore
To the lesson of the past

The end of all time after time after time
Has left the world wanting for new hopes and fears
I have produced a new product line
With cryptic truth too horrible to hear

I've got the guts to face Skulhed
We've got the guts to face Skulhed
We've got the guts...

Words that healed. Legend that have taught
Oral traditions both fought for and lost
Secrets of success. Shouts filled with hate
Documents declaring freedoms of state

I bleed humanity's figurines of history
I weave travesties tapestries of infamy
But I can't deny it always as such
Oh no, nada, nein, non, nyet, nix, not!
Pathetically beautiful I was once then
Ruled peaceful planets, sublime, before sin

It's so easy to not see
The obvious enemies
To put your problems on
I've been sick of it all along
Now the ultimate morph into
Powers that will dwarf
The sum of every nation
And all known information

If you can't stand it the way I have planned it
I'll export you off the Earth, sell ya for all your worth
Then your enemy will have a face - traitor of the human race
As your shipped off to the innermost reaches of outer space

Yes! The best I possibly can be
Applause for me. The insidiously
`live` spelt backwards
Mr...Dr..Prof...
Skulhedface

BABY DICK FUCK

Dead..
Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck

Take your fat tongue! And curl it into a 'U',
You take and unborn child who knows not what you do

Chorus: Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck - Baby Dick Fuck - Baby dick Fuck
Baby Dick Suck
Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck

There's no excuse, give him the goose
With a push and then a shove
Teach that child how grown-ups love

(chorus)

Fuck Fuck
Suck Suck
Fuck Fuck

I haunt the malls and the Burger Kings
I am the giver of pain
Splitting the rumps of the wicked
Only the nipples remain (x2)

The cherub screams "NO" as I move to defile
Our bodies entwine in a puddle of bile
Many years later we'll look back and smile
As we thrash about on the urine-drenched tile
The delivery room is as still as a tomb
I fuck the child while its still in your womb
The child is now dead and you start to blubber
Fuck your warm corpse with your child as a rubber

Take your fat tongue, ram it up her bung
Her face is packed with cum
We've only just begun
From your head, your eyes I pluck
Give you savage socket fuck
Work my wand of black obsidian
End up like a Branch Davidian

Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck
Baby Dick Fuck (x a lot)

FIGHT
(Beefcake on vocals)

Cruising through town, slack-jawed tongue out
You're a moron
Turn on the radio. Afraido. Fire up that dim bulb
And let some coke fuck piss into your ear

Chorus: Hit'em with a left
Hit'em with a right
Hit'em with a left
Now fight fight fight (x2)

This is a white world and yeah it sucks
Sheep-fucking turd-kicking sow-sucking
Rednecks make me sick making hate babies
And worrying to death what I do with my dick

(Chorus)

THE ISSUE OF TISSUE (SPACECAKE)

Unblinking, unseeing, trapped in your being
The issue of tissue, but that's just not the issue
Strapped up and stinking, what were you thinking?
Led you where? Who knew? Two? Scarcely matters..

And if you go this will be the last time
Tell me what it's like to die
Cloven cliffs is on the lever
Locked away and lost forever

We came down and saw you, want to ball you
Pleasantly paralyzed, there's light enough for you eyes
To focus and chiefly, to say that you could be me
Trussed up to pray, take him away

You, you, all because of you...

Blocks and blocks of mortal man
Single coil means just what when
You're feeding on a million souls
We have come to take control
Blocks and blocks and yes you bet
We have come to make you wet
Feeding on a million souls
We have come to take control

POCKET POOL

Little Flopsy flaps around. He flaps on up and flaps on down.
He's just flippy flappy happy slappy kind crappy clown.
Flap Flopsy flap, wrap a slimey lap around the map
If you do these things, Flopsy baby your going to take a nap

Birdies know
Rivers flow
Doggy always go

Your playin' pocket pool (that's right) pocket everyday
When you got the pool in pocket it's always that way
Pig-dick sandwhich porcu-butt pie
Slup it up with yer black eye bride
Got them Rocky Mountain oysters on the side...

SLAP U AROUND

I wake you up in the morning baby with a kick in the tit
I treat you like shit! You love it
Smack you right in the face now baby, just to show you I care
And then I kick you pregnant ass right down the stairs

Slap slap slap U around
Slap slap slap U around
Slap slap slap U around
All day..
All day, every fucking day

I pay the doctor bills baby, so I'll break what I want
I spend all my money in a fucking restaurant
I let you live in my house now woman, I take you out on the town
I want some payback now woman, I get to slap you around

Slap slap slap U around
Slap slap slap U around
Slap slap slap U around

KRAK DOWN

Krak down!

Your melted essence is my tool
And I appropriate your nugget jewel
Chemically wrap around aroma
In the bathtub in a coma
Getting drunk with Earth's elite
They wanna peel the skin off my feet
Mold me, fold me, keep me silent
I get drunk, I get violent

Chorus: I fill the pipe up
This is a Krak Down
I called up every pimp I know
I fucked my life up
This is a Krak Down
I call for toxic overthrow

Fall out of the rent-a-car
Go and vomit on the ground
There's the one who acts so pissed off
Think I'll go and cunt my dick off

(Chorus)

They run from me
I charge at sluts
I knock them down
Stomp out their guts
Tastefully arrange the piles
Bathed in phlegm
And soaked in bile
Building, burning, cops all scatter
Big fat ass is on the platter
You eyes are floating in my cup
Fuck your corpse
And get raped up

FILTHY FLOW

Well I been following the filthy flow
Cause filth's the only way I'll ever know
You look at me and you start to laugh
You won't laugh when your cut in half

I laugh at you as I cut you down
Cause you the only game in town
I look at you
I laugh at you
I look at you
I laugh at you

Well I been following the filthy flow
The filthy flow, the filthy flow, oh, oh
Filthy [x 10]

I been following the filthy flow
And everyday I walk across the road
A bag of shit and a cup of joe
I'm thinking about all the money I owe

I laugh at you as I cut you up
You think your such a cute pup

I am dirt and dirt is me
Never felt so goddamn filthy
I am dirt, me. You can't hurt me
There is strength in being filthy
For when we have destroyed your Earth
There will be nothing left but dirt
Filthy feeling sends me reeling
Bloody footprints on the ceiling

THE OLBITERATION OF FLAB QUARV 7

Y'know, back in outer space we used to drink - a lot
We used to take all kinds of kick-ass drugs
And showed blatant disrespect for any authority figures
Little did we know we were undermining our entire value system...
At that time I was serving in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion
aboard a planetary infection barge, attempting to obey a host of
confusing orders, but mostly satisfying only our lust for
slaughter ravingly drunk half the time, I only realized a battle
had started when I heard the roar of the fleets plasma
bombardment. Piling into
our armored assault pods we began our descent to the planets
pulverized surface. We were met by a flight of primitive
interceptors which we devastated with soaring blast of nuclear
hatred, flashing through the debris cloud into the atmosphere
below.

The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7

On the horizon was the blazing outlines of a bombed city, the
outlying areas dotted with flaming craters and fleeing refuges
I vomited out the window and led our battalion on a blazing attack
on the non-combatants pulpifying their flesh in a rain of sulfuric
plasma burst. The mass mutilation of a world ensued, with those
not being fit for slave labor being herded into gigantic flaming
pits. We laughed as several thousand years of cultural development
were wiped out in a single blundering instant.

Gorged on guts, gouged out eyes
Captives fill the breeding hive
Desecrate their sovereign world
Bloated, bloody, drunken churl
Cultures crumble, races die
Stench of midgets fill the sky
Smashing skulls with ghastly crunch
Pretty soon we'll break for lunch

Later, as we flew through deep space
Ritually disemboweling our victims
The navigator informed us that we
Attacked the wrong planet.
Hehehehehahaha

The obliteration of Flab Quarv 7

5.3e Ragnarok

MEAT SANDWICH

In the name of GWAR, in the name of love
In the name of the blood dripping out of the sun
I call out your God, till before me he stands
But don't send me Jesus, he's only a man
Meat Sandwich!!
I have come as a feral thing, clutching at your bloated underbelly
Let the agony, of the is to be
Be the shrieks, the warnings of the death screams
Pummeling the wretched, crushing the defiler
Pummeling the wretched-aye!
Slay them all let them come, let them come, let them come
They've come for
Meat Sandwich (crucify)
I have come as a feral thing, snapping at your bloated underbelly
To crucify, shrieks of the crucified
Let the agony, of the is to be
Be the shrieks, the warning of the death screams
Pummeling the wretched (you know who)
Crushing the defiler (you know who you are)
Pummeling the wretched-aye! (you know who)
Slay them all let them come, let them come, let them come
They come for
Meat Sandwich!

THE NEW PLAGUE

I'm just a person, and I've got the new plague
I'm wondering how I got this way
I drank some whiskey, I went and got laid
Now I'm a person, just a person with aids
He's just a person with aids -- I got what?
If you treat me, like any old dude, I'll try real hard not to go
bleed on you
Cause I'm a person, and I know what to do
So stick around cause I'm gonna get screwed
I'm just a person, and you're a person like me
Am I the victim of a conspiracy?
I drank some whiskey, I did some cocaine
Now I'm a person in Pain-Pain-Pain

WHARGOUL

I'm the fucking Whargoul, I'm the ghost of Minas Morgul
I destroyed your life, I raped your wife
I am Whargoul, I am uncool, I am Whargoul
I've been many faces, been many names
Known love and hate until they were the same
I bring ruin, I am Whargoul, am I human?
They think that they know what I know
They think they know what's best
I think that's why they killed me, that's why I joined the SS
In revenge for Malmedy, they used a blowtorch on me
Nice try, Whargoul cannot die
You blow off my arm I laugh at the pain
And after the battle I feast on the slain
Seeking my creator, taking from the strong
Yes, you see I need your strength, so I can kill the wrong
Seeking my creator, taking from the weak
Yes, you see I need you, so I can snuff the meek
Savor the silence -- Whargoul
Addicted to violence
They used a bulldozer, to run my ass over
Arms to the sky, 40,000 died, but I survived
I don't care what flag that I choose, I don't care if I win or
lose
I don't care if you have to die, just fight without a side, never
say die!
Stalingrad 42, became a living tomb
Yes, human souls
Profit for the prophet and the creatures who control
46 I got away, from the horrid thing that I did at Malmedy
And though I gained strength at the time
Still they call for vengeance for the hatred of my crime
Then I tried to drink myself to death
40 years went by, and drunken I was left
And drunk I was when they caught me
Gagged and bagged was right where they got me
Taped to a chair feeling sore
Knowing all the answers to the question I ignore
They burned off my face with a propane torch
Then they blew up my porch
Then I fought against the USA, trapped in a trench till the
bulldozers came
Changed sides, and flew the bloody warthog
Highway of death and the day of the dog
And once again, I died alive, sent home in a box but somehow I
survived
Maybe you've got my face, I'm the demon of war

RAG NA ROK

To die, perchance to sin, that's the rub
For in that sleep of sin, what, what kingdom may come?
What of the limitless sex and violence in the wake of RagNaRok
Welcome to the slaughter, what are going to do?
What will be your epitaph, when we get done with you?
Are you gonna cry for your momma, are you gonna have a good time?
Are you gonna be a bohab, when it's your turn to die?
It all gets pretty crazy, bedlam all around
Anarchy, chaos rule the street, it's a RagNaRok party town!
Your head it is a turnin', your brain it is a burnin'
As your sanity slips away
The final hour's here, now grab yourself a beer
You're only king for one day
Go on and get a gun, we're gonna have some fun
Snuffin' out some fools, and breakin' all the rules
The only rule is winnin', that means a lot of sinnin'
Sinnin' feels so fine, you're running out of time!
It's always one hell of a party, when RagNaRok rolls around
RagNaRok N Roll, RagNaRok N Roll
It's time to trash the planet, RagNaRok battleground
Welcome to Valhalla, do not be afraid
Now you are a zombie, and all your friends are dead
It all gets rather naughty, when we get backstage
Everybody take a load off, I hope you're underage
Whip out your bologna, your feeling mighty horny
And you wanna have one more chance
Looking for a lubbah, no need to where a rubbah
Have a RagNaRok N Roll romance
Go on and find somebody and get them really bloody
Peelin' and a porkin', dealin' and a dorkin'
Chokin' and a jokin', laffin' and a load'n
Load in lot of fun, hurry now you're running out of time!
Dust to dust

DIRTY, FILTHY

Dirty, filthy, dirty, filthy, filthy, filthy, dirty, filthy,
dirty, filthy, filthy, filthy
You're dirty filthy baby, well I'm dirty filthy too
You're dirty filthy baby, but I love you
Why don't you just admit you're a dirty rotten sonuva bitch?

STALIN'S ORGANS

They were called Katusyhas, but we called them Stalin's Organs
200 MM devestating fire
When streets hiss, and falling block, kisses desperate flesh
Stukas plunging, as skylines reform
Spreading madness, in the gun factory
Which had become something of a rallying point in the last few
days
I can tell they fear us, by the way they fire
We infiltrate, we wade through hip-deep filth
And then we come at them from below
Now that your name has been changed, will any remember your name?
And why was I, so led away?
And what secret laid?
In the blood soaked block
On the fountain made...
Return, return, return

MY KNIFE IF YER GUTS
My knife if your guts, it's all come to this
My knife if your, you crumple and twist
You're grabbing my arm, you try to resist
I do it again, it's all come to this
I hate you, I hate your face, it's coming apart, I'm going
someplace
My life in your guts, my knife will fuck sluts
My soul I will kill, your hole I will drill
My knife in your guts, you swallow my fist
My knife in your guts, it's all come to this
I am the insistor, you are the resistor, knife is good
I'm gonna get you, right in the tit
When love turns to hate, and hate turns to hit
Well that's what you get, when love turns to shit
I do it again, and again, and again
I hate you, I hate your face
And now you're reeling beneath a hail of blows
And I'm kicking your head down the street
My knife if your guts, you like it like this
I hold you down, no will to resist
I cut you up, put you in the ground
Just to make sure that you are never found
I am the insistor, you are the resistor
That feels good
And that you think it's dead
You said that something was wrong with my head
But now I think it near, the thing you said that it was dead
Knife is good
You use the knife to remove disease
You use the knife to do as you please
You use the knife to do what you do
You use the knife before the knife is used on you

THINK YA OUTTA KNOW THIS

I'm the manager with the mostest
I clear the profits from the concert grosses
I make it snow up GWAR noses, so now they follow me like I'm Moses
I'm not a Jew but God has chose us
So now I'm sitting on the riches of Croesus
I'm sleazy and I think you outta know this!
The girlies love me cause I wear the right clotheses
They see the bulges when I strike the right poses
Pull my pants down and you ask me can you blow this
I say yes if you want halitosis
I can't help my pork's got trigonosis
I been plookin' a shoney's hostess
I'm sleazy and I think you outta know this!
Everybody rip everybody else off
Everybody rip everybody else off
Everybody rip everybody else off
Everybody rip, rip everybody off
Think you outta know this!
Their trying something that they hope you don't notice
A moral oligarchy that is bogus
You know you're there when your family is homeless
You'll be beat in the streets with hoses
The grays are waiting underground while they clone us
They got a deal with the Masons to dispose us
Toxic waste causes cancer by osmosis
H.I.V. is crawling up your hoses
I'm the man with the guts to expose this
And people follow me like I'm Moses
So before you think it's hopeless
I'll start a coup right under their noses
Now they know that they can't control us
So don't forget the man who broke this
I'm sleazy and I think you outta know this!

MARTYRDUMB

You remember the lessons taught in your past?
And how old you were
Before you wondered how many were lies?
They tried to teach about the anti-Christ
They tried to teach that Christ was nice
Did they say anything about the terms?
That eternal life meant food for worms?
Don't die for their dead religion, dead religion, die
Please take my soul, and please control
But would you just please go?
I think it is about time
I wipe my ass with your holy book
God is dead and the Pope's a crook
A blackened heart you claim as pure
You're a plague but we're the cure
Dead religion, dead religion, die
I spit on the shit you prophesize
Your apocalypse, a pack of lies
Each generation says their time has come
Clutching at the thread of martyrdumb
Each generation says their time has come
Doomsday starts when we kill the sun
Die, martyr, die, and embrace your lonely martyrdom
What were you told?
That the streets would be paved with gold?
I got news for you...you are the road
Well, I know better Bub
God lives in a nuclear sub
Yeah, your religion is the greatest scam
Cause we're all dead and we're all damned
In the eyes of your dead religion

NUDGED

Did you ever stay up late wondering if you'd been screwed?
Or ever really know how much money they're making off of you?
Welcome to the club, aye, that's the rub
Your nudged, fudged, nudged, screwed
Did you ever feel confused?
Fall victim to their ruse
You know Hitler gassed the Jews
Maybe you should watch the news
Formula, we deplore you
Formula, we abhor you
Formula, we ignore you
We were sent here to destroy you
We won't have to wait too long
Lots of people making bombs, CD-ROMS, fertilizer bombs, yeah
Totally abused you
You wonder why our lives are crummy, you won't give us any money
Without us who would you jack, to fill up your bulgin sack?
But your actions, they shall foment, vengeance waiting for the
moment
And though I spent years as your slave, one day I'll piss on your
grave
Formula, set our own pace
Formula, we are a race
Formula, we'll smash your face!
Formula, your machine
Formula, I find obscene
Formula, know what I mean?
You've reduced something to nothing
You really fucking think you're something
Hold on baby, time is coming
Nudged!

FIRE IN THE LOINS

Oftimes you'll find me raving, sometimes you'll find me sick
To wake me up this morning you hit me with a brick
Can I help it if I am rather thick?
Maybe we can chill you out by chopping off your dick!
Sister and brother, hate one another
You really are pathetic, and you call me a slut
Then you walk around all day with midgets up your butt!
At least the midgets like me, they like my disease
Well, maybe there's hope for you, but first get on your knees
Hey, wait a minute! I don't want it to hurt
Then you will learn nothing man, so grovel in the dirt
Sister and brother, kill one another
Brother and sister, back off mister
I don't know where to begin, but I'll try not to lie because lying
is a sin
What do you know of sin? I taught you about sin when the sun was
dim
But what of my power?
What about it? There's no pussy in your tower
I could have any women that I want!
The fact that you rape them is nothing to flaunt
Oh...well uh you got me there, but wait a minute
But what of my sword? What of the comet? And the roaring horde?
I'm getting bored
Maybe if you got off drugs, you wouldn't get ignored
Then you could achieve erection
You might even find that it helps with your inflection
Now I'm getting mad!
So what? I can still kick your ass!
All of you men, you talk a good game
You must plan it out cause you all sound the same
You huff and you puff, you "act" out so mean
You serve better purpose as seeding machines
But something it stops you from finding the door
I have to admit it, girls frustrate me more!
Well, hey there Slimey, I think I got your point
Now will you please untie me?
Well that can be arranged, you pay for the pain
Now find something to buy me!!!
Sister and brother, stuck with each other
Brother and sister, back off mister!

SURF OF SYN

Unsheathe the sword, call the death squad
Let loose the dogs, make me your God
Blaspheme the name, stretch forth thy rod
Get on your knees, make me your God
Unleash the nuns, curse the Earth
Devour the worm, I am your God
Suffer the plague, repent your sin
Declare unclean, my God machine
Number the beasts, sound the horn
Suffer the wrath, bring me your first born
Cardinal Syn has come to free us
Source of power -- Cyber Fetus!
I am Cardinal Syn -- worship me or know damnation!

CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY

Everything that ever was, and all that there will ever be
Flesh and blood and stick and stone, all is laid to waste by me
I crush you as I would a fly
I kill you and I watch you die
Destroying everything you cherish, masturbating as you perish
Crush, kill, destroy, crush, kill, destroy, destroy!
I was first and shall be last, slaying all who cross my path
Toppling your gleaming towers, bathing you in golden showers
I crush you as I would a fly
I kill you and I watch you die
Destroying all I find offending, devastation never ending

NONE BUT THE BRAVE

Welcome back, is it the same? Smelly but now old and lame
Did you ever think to miss me? Here's my ass, come on and kiss me
We come on out here, none but the brave
And then I say to myself why do I stay and stay
Is there a reason? Hypocrisy?
But in the end I only got just what you gave to me
Whud you get? Share it with me
Whud you get? Did you get it for free?
Then it ain't worth nothing baby
We got a deli, we got a bus
We got a lot of people throwing rocks at us
We got a tour lined up, we got a show
I got a midget following me around everywhere I go now
He says his name is Joe now, I really just don't know now
None but the brave, why do you stay and stay?
Sad enough to make me cry, strong enough to make me die
Now I'm feeling saddle sore
Now I'm feeling warm
Keep you here safe from harm, tuck you down inside my arm
And when you're lonely and afraid, remember the love we made

5.3z You Have the Right to Remain Silent

INTERLOPER

X-Cops patrol your street tonight
We will judge what's wrong or right
And if you interfere with what we're doing here
It's your unlucky day...we'll blow your ass away
We are the law
We are justice
You pay our wages
And so you trust us
But if you fuck around then you'll be going down
We'll bring you to your knees
You are the enemy
Because we wear a shield
We have the right to kill
And if the guiltless die
We turn a blind eye
We turn a blind eye
We turn a blind eye
We turn a blind eye
Blind eye

BARBELLS
(vocals by Brad Roberts)

Mamma's little baby got busted busted
Mamma's little baby's going down down down down
Down to the cell where Bubba crown you Queen
Where the floors are cold and the bunks unclean
And the soft bellied white boys gets fucked till he screams
You were born with a different set of rules
You were raised in the hood by cracked out fools
Now you're taking your guns and knives to school
Proving to your friends that you're so damn cool
Now you're attending a different school
You will obey Sgt. Zipper pig's every rule
I know you're not afraid boy
I've seen your silly games boy
I know that prison is hard on your hole
Hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole, hole
(Repeat first stanza)
Down to the cell where Bubba crowns you queen
Where the floors are cold and the bunks unclean
The soft bellied white boy gets fucked till he screams
When they beat you down like all the other fools
And you sitting in a pile of your own bloody stool
Then maybe you'll think about obeying some rules
When you figure out that you can't be king
And you're tired of being forced to act like a queen
Then you sit down and listen to the sound of the barbells cling
Listen to the barbells cling (4X)
You can't be King
Listen to the barbells cling (5X)
(Repeat chorus)
Hard on your hole

CAVITY SEARCH

It's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
So open up your ass so I can look into it
Cause you never know what you're gonna find
When you ram your fist up a person's behind
Cavity Search on the side of the road
I'm almost positive I'm breaking a code
But I'm the one who's in control
It's my job to search your hole
With a rubber glove pulled on my fist
I'll search your every orifice
Probing you with icy tools
I search for drugs and stir your stools
Cavity search on the side of the road
I'm almost positive I'm breaking a code
But I am here to protect the souls
Of the people who pay me to look up prisoner's holes
So drop em
Spread em wide
This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it's gonna hurt me
(repeat first stanza)
Cavity search on the side of the road
I know damn well that I'm breaking a code
But I am here to protect the souls
Of the people who pay me to look up your hole

ZIPPER PIG

Zipper pig, zipper pig, zipper pig, oh
Zipper pig, zipper pig, zipper pig, oh
I got the call at 3:33
I arrived at the scene
It was a Masonic conspiracy
You don't know what I mean
Crystal meth lab raid
Was the scene of my shame
All my skin was burned away
Now you know my name
Zipper pig, zipper pig, zipper pig, oh
Zipper pig, zipper pig, zipper pig, oh
All their planted evidence
Was all around me
Exploded in my face
As hot as 33 degrees!
Bad mason, bad cop
I was really mean
All my skin was burned away
No time to scream
I was once a human being
Just like you or you
Now I'm just a drippy mess
My face is made of goo
I want vengeance on the ones
Who burned me black and blue
But I know I'll never touch them
I guess you'll have to do!
Zipper pig, zipper pig, zipper pig, oh (4X)
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

WELCOME TO NEW JERSEY

Welcome to New Jersey
It's late at night and you're far from home
Your radio's on and you're driving alone
Until a sign looms from the gloom
The words on that sign are the words to your tomb
It says New Jersey
Shining lights, bloody face
Rabid dog, can of mace, he's from New Jersey
They got the Giants, they've got the Jets
They got it all but they get no respect
Welcome to New Jersey
Welcome to New Jersey
Out in the woods you're cuffed to a tree
The end of my gun is the last thing you see
I go through your wallet, I take all your cash
Your car I destroy, your body I smash
My maniac urges I simply can't stop
The funny thing is I'm not even a cop
Welcome to New Jersey
Shining lights, bloody face
Rabid dog, can of mace, I'm from New Jersey
Welcome to New Jersey
I hope you enjoy your stay
Welcome

YOUR MOTHER

Remote control of your stinking family tree
Ain't no knight in shining armor gonna sweep your momma
off her feet
Spends her life just squirting pups and turning tricks for me
The flick of my cigarette and you Mother's on her knees
On her knees, turning tricks for me
Giving up the honey, bringing me the money
Your cheap momma and her monkey and the kindness of my heart
Is all that keeps your family together in this
white trash trailer park
Your wacked out momma, she's a junkie, she's gotta have a stash
So she walks the streets, sells her soul, and brings me back
the cash
She's so cheap, she'll always need me
You know I own you, we own the streets
Now you're starting to see just what you get
When your Mother is a piece of shit

THE PARTY'S OVER
(vocals by Dave Brockie)

The name is Cobb Knobbler
And you're here with me now
I'll tell ya punks, the name's Cobb Knobbler
Satanic Nazi, weenie gobbler
I was in the Nam, now I'm on the lamb
Joined up with X-Cops, kicking ass and porking chops
The party's over
I wear a uniform
The party's over
I'd love to keep you warm
These are moments that I treasure, agony is placed with pleasure
I know I'll do my duty, I'll restrain my gay boy booty
The party's over
I wear a uniform
The party's over
I wanna keep you so warm
I tried to do and then I cried
Really had to look inside
What it was that got me here
I am just a big fat queer
Sacrifice a goat, slice your fucking throat
That's right punk, I'm also on junk
The party's over
The party's over
Well I love to look at Hitler's maps
Hobnail boots and leather chaps
I used to live in San Francisco
Drop your drawers and pass the Crisco
Now I'm naked on display
All the bad guys know I'm gay
They line up around the block
To suck the ghost of Hitler's cock
Suck my motherfuckin' dick!

5-0

Some may call me pig, but you can call me 5-0
Very few have the nerve
To protect and to serve
Fighting crime
Everyday I put my life on the line
Some may call me pig, but you can call me 5-0
But this job takes its toll
And it's hard to keep control
And sometimes I just find myself just beating
The fuckin shit out of you for no fuckin reason at all
Call 5-0 911
5-0 (3X)
Some may call me pig but...
5-0 (3X)
Some may... (3X)

TUNE UP TIME
(instrumental)

3rd LEG

I got armor piercing bullets in my Taurus 92
It's fully locked and loaded and it's waiting just for you
A nickel plated magnum with the custom fitted grip
A fully auto AK with the big banana clip
A .45 berreta with an extra magazine
A sawed off riot shotgun and the mighty M-16
A backup Colt .380 that I keep inside my sock
All my guns are so much fun I love them like my cock
My 3rd leg is my savior
My 3rd leg's like a son
My 3rd leg is my master
My 3rd leg is my gun
I got confiscated weapons from a hundred bogus busts
That wait for me when I get home to satisfy my lust
I feel their barrel close to mine it's making me erupt
It's so good to be a cop, so good to be corrupt
(repeat chorus)

PADDY WAGON RAPE

Out on the streets I'm looking for some crack
I got a pipe in my mouth and a body in the back
I see a yuppie slut, she's dropping some litter
And so I call the paddy wagon and ram it up her shitter
Paddy wagon rape, I can't get a date
Paddy wagon rape, honey I'm working late
Get on the horn gotta call up the boys
The paddy wagon's rockin, she's making lots of noise
So I give the bitch a kiss, I give her titty a rub
Yeah the guys really lose it when I fuck her with a club
So climb aboard, there's always room for more
You can't get away girl
Cause you been caught by the long prick of the law
Paddy wagon rape, I can't get a date
Paddy wagon rape, honey I'm working late
Cheered on by my buddies I slam at her vadge
Hell, I can't believe that they gave me a badge
You're a cop on the beat and your hung like a horse
That's not surprising when they keep you on the force
(I put a whippin on her cunt, and I'm hurtin on her ass)
So climb aboard, y'know there's always room for more
Paddy wagon rape, I can't get a date
Paddy wagon rape, honey I'm working late (2X)

HIGHWAY STAR

Nobody's gonna take my car it's gonna race you to the ground yeah
Nobody's gonna take my car it's gonna break the speed of sound
yeah
Yeah it's a killing machine, it's got everything
Got that driving power, license to kill everything
I love it, I need it, I feel it
Yeah it's a wild thing, all right hold tight
I'm the highway star
Nobody's gonna take my gun, I'm gonna keep it till the end
Nobody better touch my gun, or I'll shoot you in the face
Yeah it's a killing machine, it's got everything
I love it, I need it, I feel it
Six cylindars all mine, all right, hold tight
I'm the highway star
(Solo Scrapinetti)
Nobody's gonna take my badge, I still can't take the blame yeah
Nobody's gonna take my badge, so now I'm on the road again, yeah
Yeah I'm in heaven again, I got everything
You're a damn punk bum and I'm the king of everything
I love it, I need it, I bleed it
Yeah it turns me on, all right, hold tight
I'm the highway star
(Solo Depantsia)
Repeat 1st verse

YOU FUCKED UP

You fucked up, you went over the line
You fucked up, you didn't pay your fine
You fucked up, in the third degree
You fucked up, when you fucked with me
You fucked up, you're going down
You fucked up
You fucked up, when you fucked with a cop
You fucked up, when you failed to stop
You fucked up, you should've stayed at home
You fucked up, now I'm cracking your dome
Hey you, yeah the punk with the skateboard,
get over here and show me some ID
Oh man, why you gotta fuck with me all the time?
I'll fuck with you any time I damn well please
B...b...b...but wait officer, I didn't do anything wrong
Shit, that don't make a goddamn bit of difference to me
Oh man, but what gives you the right
Right, you wanna see my right? HERE'S MY RIGHT!
You fucked up, when you fucked with the law
You fucked up, when you narked on your ma
We slapped her around and she ratted on pa
You fucked up, now we've got you by the balls
You fucked up, you fucked with the cops
You fucked up, you fucked up...motherfucker yeah
Wipe that fuckin smile off your face Holmes...

5.4 GWAR gigs

Here's a list of concerts that GWAR have ever played, i.e. old gigs. This
list is far, far from complete, as you'll no doubt realize. Additions,
therefore, are more than welcome (you can start with checking the dates of
the ones *you* went to or that you have bootleg recordings of!).

11 Apr 1988 Trenton, New Jersey
28 Mar 1989 Bethlaham, Pennsylvania
25 Feb 1990 Houston, Texas
04 Jun 1991 Lund, Sweden
14 Dec 1991 Allentown, Pennsylvania
19 May 1992 Cameo Theatre, Miami, Florida
01 Jul 1991 La Brique Concert Hall, Montreal, Canada ("The Road Behind" EP)
26 Jun 1994 St. Louis, MO
08 Jul 1994 Noorderligt, Tilburg, Netherlands
09 Jul 1994 Waldrock Festival, Bergum, Netherlands
31 Oct 1995 Harpo's (?), Chicago, Illinois
05 Nov 1995 La Luna, Portland, Oregon
09 Nov 1995 DV8, Seattle, Washington
26 Nov 1995 The Abyss, Houston, Texas
04 Dec 1995 International Ballroom, Atlanta
27 Jan 1996 Noorderligt, Tilburg, Netherlands
03 May 1996 Cedar Rapids

And as X-Cops...

06 Mar 1996 Tivoli, Utrecht, Netherlands

5.5 GWAR and video games

GWAR have appeared in a Beavis and Butthead video game for the Super
Nintendo (Famicom) and Sega (Megadrive?). The object of this game is to
collect pieces of tickets to go to a GWAR show. On the last level, you walk
on stage and see GWAR performing a video game version of "Jack the World".
The artwork appears to have been done by Chuck Varga and the music in the
game is by the Scumdogs themselves, too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

VI - VARIOUS BITS'N'BOBS

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

6.0 From the grapevine...

This section of the FUQ is intended to include news snippets of a time-
sensitive kind, as well as various other rumors and stuff that simply didn't
fit anywhere else in this FUQ. If you have your own stuff to add, or if you
can confirm or dispel any of the below things, see elsewhere on how to
contribute for info on how to get it here...

GWAR will be doing a short Halloween tour. Dates below (22 sep 1996).

October 25, 1996 Cleveland, OH, The Agora Theater
October 26, 1996 Detroit, MI, Harpo's
October 27, 1996 Cincinnati, OH, Bogart's
October 28, 1996 Toledo, OH, Club 2000
October 29, 1996 Kalamazoo, MI, The Wherehouse
October 30, 1996 St. Louis, MO, Mississippi Nights
October 31, 1996 Chicago, IL, The Riviera
November 1, 1996 Louisville, KY, The Brewery
November 2, 1996 Milwaukee, WI, The Rave
November 3, 1996 Minneapolis, MN, First Avenue

***

Death Piggy is planning a 'reunion CD' with the three singles and
unreleased extra tracks in the fall of 1996 (22 sep 1996).

***

GWAR have planned (or are planning) a tour with several other acts. Sexy
was making notes for this in the summer of 1994 when I interviewed Sleazy.
One of the acts allegedly threw pig's carcasses in the air and incinerated
them (22 sep 1996).

***

There is a rumor that Slymenstra Hymen is to be replaced?! (25 sep 1996).

***

Whether Slymenstra is being replaced or not, Hunter's girlfriend Bridgette
is supposed to playing a GWAR girl in the near future (7 oct 1996).

***

The new GWAR album *might* be called "Carnival of Chaos" or "High Brow
Potty Humor". I'd like to emphasize that this is completely out of thin air
(27 sep 1996). They have so far written 16 songs, will hit the studio in
January and will do a tour in spring 1997 (9 oct 1996).

***

GWAR are currently also working on a 'lounge' band off-shoot (27 sep 1996).

***

Allegedly, Sean Sumner (ex-GWAR, ex-Death Piggy) hung himself in Boston in
September (15 oct 1996).

6.1 Death Piggy / RAWG / X-Cops

6.1a Death Piggy

Basically, Death Piggy was GWAR before the costumes. They were a small-
time punk band in the Richmond area that started in 1982, flourished briefly
and were then fully absorbed by GWAR in 1986. They put out a few '45s and
had a small yet loyal following.

Dave Brockie: lead vocals, bass
Russ Bahorsky: guitar
Sean Sumner: drums
Steve Douglas: guitar (replaced Russ after the "Death Rules the Fairway"
single)

The Death Piggy discography is as follows (all released on the "Slug Trail"
label):

"Love War" (1983), 7" (track listing probably "G.O.D. Spells God",
"Splatter Flick", "Eat The People", "We Love You Fat Man", "Nympho",
"Bathtub in Space", "No Prob, Dude!", "Mangoes & Goats").
"R45" (1985), 7".
"Death Rules The Fairway" (1986), double 7" (track listing disc 1
"Welcome", "Boner", "Showbiz", "Dinner In The Morning", "Whipping Round The
Bay", "Ceramic Butt", disc 2 "Poet", "Ground B Sound", "Joey Died Today",
"Minute 2 Live"). The second disc was also sold separately, through the
Slave Pit, after "Scumdogs" was released.

Excerpts from an interview about Death Piggy with Dave Brockie might prove
useful here:

Q: Chuck mentioned that Death Piggy used to bring out a paper mache
character called Uncle Knobby and kill him in really brutal ways. Care to
elaborate on this?

A: During a big show with Wendy O. Williams, we brought out a dummy made out
of papier mache, cloth and glue. It was "Uncle Knobby", a cripple
clutching a Big Gulp, devoid of legs and propped up on a wheeled cart. He
had a song too...and while we did the song ( C'mon Uncle Knobby, lets peel
back your brain, lots of fun, he's got a gun. Now I know you are insane.)
I would remove his brain while he drooled. Later he appeared in a GWAR
show were he had a 10-ton jet engine dropped on him. That was one of the
greatest triumphs of our lives.

Q: Were there any other strange stage theatrics?

A: Lots. One show we set up our living room on stage and pretended the show
was a practice. People would "Come over" bringing beer and watching TV. We
had a "horn section" featuring transvestites and a trombone. We mock hung
someone and he nearly died. We gave out "Chuice" ( chew and juice) and
sponsored a mayo bar. We threw banana peels into the slam circle and
distributed pies and paper airplanes to thew crowd. Then we started dressing
up like GWAR.

Q: I understand that there were Death Piggy comics that you did, possibly
including Wharghoul. What were some of the subjects of the stories of
these comics?

A: I used to put out a comic called "Mr. Donut" and produced 4 issues. It
featured mine and others' work, including early work from current GWAR
members Hunter Jackson and Scott Krahl. Whargoul is an illustrated novel I
am currently working on about the exploits of the character introduced on
the "Ragnarok" album. Its genre could be called Horror/War historical
fiction. My old comics were about everything from "The Hook" (big hook that
came out of nowhere after you lost your keys) to "Kingy" and "Prince Eddie"
(bizarre inbred behavior of twisted royal family) to "Homo Pyle" (gay
ilitary sex on Iwo Jima). Maybe one day I'll get around to publishing them.

Q: Any philosophical ramblings about the deeper ramifications of Death Piggy
on the collective unconcious of mankind and it's social repercussions?

A: Smile or die.

(End of interview)

6.1b RAWG

What is RAWG? You might have gone to see GWAR in a small club one day only
to find a bunch of - people - instead! What!? You have to watch mere mortals
instead of the great Gods of GWAR? Fear not fans... RAWG is GWAR (spell it
backwards). See, sometimes GWAR has to disguise themselves as human beings
so they can get into small clubs. Why? Well there's no room to kill and
destroy on a little stage. So do they just come out as themselves and sing?
No. They still put on a great show! And here's some more names for you to
remember:

Vincent Bologlioni as lead singer
Morris Lester strummin' the bass
Joseph Scrapinetti on lead guitar
G-Credit playing the rhythm guitar
David Muselini poundin' the drums
With manager Manny Cotti and soundman Lou Zania

But just because there's no blood doesn't mean there's no theatrics. The
drummer often pours buckets of water on his head while Vincent dances around
and wraps himself in tape. So if you have a chance to see RAWG, then do it!
It's amazing hearing/seeing the voice of Oderus come out of a normal (?)
person. Sometimes they claim to be GWAR in human disguise, other times they
say their the "Ultimate GWAR Tribute Band."

6.1c X-COPS

One more variation of GWAR is X-Cops. On a few occasions GWAR has dressed
up as policemen and performed as their own opening band. This was during the
"Toilet" tour, in 1994. In the mean time, X-Cops have released their album
called "You Have the Right to Remain Silent" and have toured the club
circuit in Europe. The 7" EP is their swansong effort; the X-Cops project
has been rounded off now.
These are the members of X-Cops (for more info, see above somewhere)...

Cobb Knobbler (bass and occasional vocals) - Bay Area gay aryan, thrown off
the force for sucking another man's penis.
Louis Scrapinetti (guitar) - Newark, New Jersey.
Biff Buff (vocals and occasional drums) - thrown off the force because he
liked doughnuts too much.
Zypygski (occasional vocals) - mutilated in a methamphetamine lab raid gone
wrong. It was a Masonic conspiracy because he knew too much. The speed blew
up in his face. Since then he only makes inarticulate sounds and wears a
leather zipper mask.
Tubb Tucker (vocals) - the meanest motherfucker of all, thrown off the
force because he beat up the mayor and raped his dog er...uh...daughter.
Al DePantsia (guitar).
Billy Club (drums).
Philip McRevis - keyboards/effects.

6.2 Slave Pit Inc.

Slave Pit is the organization (made up of GWAR and all their slaves) that
is responsible for many things around the band, including merchandising. If
you have ever seen a GWAR concert then you know it must cost a lot to put on
that type of event - therefore their profit margin cannot be that great. One
way we as fans can help is to purchase GWAR related items from Slave Pit.
This money goes to make better shows which in turn generates more fans which
will make more money for better shows that will generate more fans which
will...well, you get the point. A quote from the Slave Pit catalog:

"Remember any money you send to the Slave Pit goes directly to the
slaves that create GWAR for you and help them make more of the sick
stuff that you crave! So help support GWAR!"

To receive the Slave Pit catalog, send a SASE to:

Slave Pit Inc.
P.O. Box 5225
Richmond, VA. 23220

Slave Pit can also be reached via the Internet at gw...@richmond.infi.net.

6.3a GWAR-related URLs

This section of the FUQ was done by Steve Slack (obno...@erols.com).
Please contact him for additions and corrections, and please cc: those
messages to me.

The first two websites are the most jam-packed with pictures, sounds,
and other goodies...with links to some, not all, of what's mentioned
later.

******************
IUMA SITES
******************
http://www.iuma.com/gwar/
or
http://www.southern.com/GWAR/

Comics: DB color drawing of Skulhedface riding the Flesh Column.
Blood Money part 2 (Skulhedface). Always changing.
Bios of all 8 characters, Catalogue still not ready. Movie previews, with
links to needed viewers. Sound files, most MPEG, some AU: Meat Sandwich,
Saddam, Jack The World, Crack In The Egg, Gor Gor. B&B game promo.

http://www.iuma.com/Metal_Blade/GWAR/
GIF/JPEG of Ragnarok cover

*******************
SUBGENIUS SITE
*******************
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius/bigfist/fun/devivals/GWARMedia.html
The SubGenius GWAR MEDIA COLLECTION

Yes! Yes!! YESS!! It was inevitable that these two juggernauts of brain
raping, normality-shredding anti-flail would 'come' together. After all,
the SubGenius prophesised the coming of GWAR a full three years in
advance. (Yup, says so in the Book of the SubGenius, right on page 109.)
***8 MPEG/WAV files***40 Stills JPEG/GIF
++++ Preview stills: A GLIMPSE INTO THE GWAR UNIVERSE

*************************
ISS INTERNET SERVICE GmbH
*************************
http://www.neckar-alb.de/gwar/Gwar.html
Fan page from Germany. NEWS, RELEASES, VIDEOS,
TABS ...too much to list here.

http://pages.prodigy.com/UKQB34B/gwar.htm
A fan's recollection of a GWAR show on the Ragnarok tour
by DUHville / RiGoR MoRTiS
**In response: 1) The big white 'robot' is CARDINAL SYN.
2) Yes, all the blood and goop washes right out without a
trace, and always did. I find a bucket of tepid water and
a hand full of laundry soap works the best.

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/2470/index.html
Still under destruction

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/2470/images1.html
GIF stills: "Bloody Logo" from America Must Be Destroyed,
Logo from This Toilet Earth, Slymenstra, GWAR Unmasked

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Alley/4328/GWAR.html
C. Hunter McLain's band photos, etc. 22 pictures.

http://www.e-ave.com/c_hall/unk_rev/gwar.html
Review of Halloween '94 show in Chicago ... Check out "Tour De Scum"
video for wrestling references

http://www.ubl.com/artists/002177.html
'The Ultimate Band List' -- 12 links

http://fileroom.aaup.uic.edu/FileRoom/documents/Cases/s31gwar.html
http://newspace.aaup.uic.edu/FileRoom/documents/Cases/122gwarShow.html
reporting about the Cuttlefish busts in SC and Georgia ca. 1992.
Part of an archive of censorship cases.

http://www.mca.com/winterland/products/gwar.html
T-shirts. Skip the middleman. Buy directly from
Slave Pit.

http://members.gnn.com/akmedsc/nticen.html
Anti-censorship page. BDF REMOVED from Toilet Earth?!!?
Sheesh ..... Sun AU file available.

http://www.mds.mdh.se/~ent94hlm/musik/gwar.htm
Håkans GWARpage...Sun AU of Saddam. JPG of original America MBD
poster cover. 4 links. Tabs of SLAP U AROUND,FLAB QUARV 7,
MORALITY SQUAD, LOVE SURGERY, SICK OF YOU

http://www.phantom.com/~gwar/
A little poetry, some corruption and pain, and a whole lotta abstraction.

http://www.rocknet.com/archives/p&p03.html
Rocknet PAUSE & PLAY. Short interview w/ Hunter concerning Grammy nom #2.

http://www.addict.com/ATN/adverts/Artrock/December/gallery-page3.html
'Artrock Online Gallery Information'
Frank Kozik's GWART for sale here

http://www.tiltpix.com/tilt/dist/sparkplug/gwar.html
Tiltpix selling 3-eyed Jesus poster from a show

http://www.ucalgary.ca/UofC/students/VOX/Albums/gwar.htm
U. of Calgary (Canada) Ragnarok review

http://members.tripod.com/~darkjedi/goaway-2.htm
Short blurbs from Beef and Slymie

http://www.uiowa.edu/~dlyiowan/issue/v127/i194/stories/B0601A.html
PreGwarning for Cedar Rapids IA show 5/3/96

http://mars.execulink.com/~rizzard/arcs/gwar/
Tabs. Morality Squad, Sick of You, Love Surgery, Salaminizer

http://www.ezone.org:1080/ez/e6/articles/goldman/gwar.html
Review of 12/4/95 show in Atlanta

http://www.itr.ch/pub/tabs/g/gwar/
Tabs

http://www.bigeasy.com/~oderusu1/gwar/GWAR.html
OderusU1's page ... 29 .WAVs, 16 .JPGs, etc.

http://www.knot.nl//Organisations/Popcluster/noorderligt/9601/gwar.htm
Dutch. Same JPEG b/w group shot used in SubGenius Portrait Gallery.

http://www.cs.uit.no/Music/View/gwar
Discography. Details about each recording. Visitors are
welcome to vote on their favorites.

http://ezone.org:1080/ez/e6/articles/goldman/gwar.html
'Live Review' of show at International Ballroom, Atlanta, GA 12/4/95,
with setlist.

http://www-paradigm.asucla.ucla.edu/db/issues/96/1.30/ae.gwar.html
'Gwar invades Earth with crushing music '
Long article for UCLA Daily Bruin online news'paper'

http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~stocker/gwar.txt
'GWAR's Mid-Galactic Championship Wrestling Tour by Will Stocker,
November 1994'

http://smn.com/12025
VRTV Gallery of artwork...repro of SP GWAR comic #1 (DB drawing of
Oderus head + Oderus as cannibal Santa, Hunter panel from story,
Danielle airbrushed portrait)

http://www.cooper.edu/people/f/firest/gwar.html
Links to Sonicnet, Unt +3, 2 lyrics

http://www.unt.edu/~buvingha/gwar.html
Band bios now incorporated into the FAQ.

http://www.dse.nl/inferno/issue7/gwarint.html
Great interview by Mjollnir. Link to a much larger portrait
of Slymenstra/Danielle in reptilian form.

http://epiphany.hss.cmu.edu/www/kuhn/post5.html
'A Triple Play of Metal (Weekend section, Dec. 23, 1994)'
Article from Washington Post

http://www.nol.net/~dfx/gwar.html
'The digitized photos on this page were taken direct from the master of a
live video shot at The Abyss in Houston, Texas on November 26, 1995.'
**41 JPEGs!!

http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/chrisg/gwar.html
Color repro of Scumdogs cover.
Links to interviews.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/nlhome/m502/heim0044/Gwarint.html
Interviewer assaulted by Oderus, Balsac and 'Flattius' posing as
Marx brothers, May 23 1994.

http://www.neckar-alb.de/gwar/FuqOtherShit.html
Transcript of Joan Rivers interview along with other stuff

http://www.sonicnet.com/sonicore/chat/transcripts/gwar.html
SonicNet Online Happening - January 18, 1996
Conversation between band and fans

http://www.sonicnet.com/sonicore/chat/bios/biogwar.html
Publicity still from SkulHedFace plus links

http://www.sonicnet.com/feature/loser/gwar.html
'Gwar and the Pigeons'... Stills of Slymie, Beef w/Private Parts

http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~boydso/GWAR.html
'My own personal GWAR page.' Midwest show reviews
from '94, '95 etc.

http://www.rockol.it/rockol/news/Metal/NAZIGWAR.htm
Band accused of Nazism. Or, band dressed in Nazi uniforms
for a magazine article. Or, band accuses magazine of Nazism.
Sheesh, don't ask me, it's all in Italian.

http://www.sito.org/sito/MASS/Goebel_M/portrait.html
SITO Artchives, Martin Goebel's BIG, BIG photo portraits.

http://centerstage.net/chicago/back-issues/misc-articles/Gwar.html
Review of the Halloween '95 show in Chicago

http://centerstage.net/chicago/back-issues/11-3-95/gwar.html
Interview with Oderus in Chicago

http://www-personal.umd.umich.edu/~haibachi/Forklift/Interviews/gwarr.html
John Felix pissing off the band. You know, if you keep
chopping off the switches, you can eventually find the
source: Haibachi, UM Dearborn, Jay Itchon. Have away!

http://www.mordor.com/neslon/mike/m134.html
MIKE ARIETANO Archives ... Sun, Dec 23, 1990
Fan's report of a Christmastime show. Season's Beating's!

NEED NEW LINKS FOR:

http://www.mediamafia.com./bands/gwar/
[30 Days on the Road with Gwar, As related by ???,
guitarist for the Meatmen]
http://pss.fit.edu/~wernow/gwartribute.html
[Jeremy replaced the front grille of his car with Balszac teeth!]

AND HAS ANYONE BEEN ABLE TO LINK TO

ec81.residence.gatech.edu