GWAR FUQ 2.0h (14 September 1997)
Richard Karsmakers
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Welcome to
the 'official' unauthorized and unofficial
GWAR FUQ II 2.0h
(14 Sept 1997)
(If you want to find out the latest news, skip to 6.0!)
(Check out 6.6 to see what's new in this version)
DISCLAIMER
Before you read anything else, it needs to be emphasized that most
information in here is not guaranteed to be 100% correct! Even so, every
possible care has been taken to assure optimum accuracy.
This document looks most like the way it ought to in Courier at size 10.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 The beginning of the end
1.0 Hell-O 2 U!
1.1 What the FUQ?!
1.2 How to get updated versions of this thang
1.3 How to make this thing so brilliant even GWAR might approve
1.4 Hell-O - is it me you're looking for?
2 Introducing GWAR in several easy lessons
2.0 What's GWAR?
2.1 Where did the name cum from?
2.2 What exactly is the Slave Pit?
2.3 The history of GWAR
2.4 What members are GWAR?
2.5 Where to see GWAR
3 The characters in GWAR
3.0 The band
3.1 GWAR's enemies
4 GWARography
5.0 Stuff they've done
5.1 The albums
5.2 The Slave Pit singles
5.3 The videos
5.4 The lyrics
5.5 GWAR gigs
5.6 GWAR and video games
6 Various bits'n'bobs
6.0 From the grapevine...
6.1 Death Piggy / RAWG / X-Cops
6.1a Death Piggy
6.1b RAWG
6.1c X-Cops
6.2 Slave Pit Inc.
6.3a GWAR-related URLs
6.3b The GWAR Internet Mailing List
6.3c GWAR on IRC
6.3d GWAR on Usenet News
6.4 Have You Seen Me?
6.4a The Joan Rivers Interview
6.5 Thanks
6.6 Version History
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I: THE BEGINNING OF THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.0 HELL-O 2 U!
Well, this is it. GWAR knows how long it had been since this FUQ was
properly updated, but in September 1996 it finally happened. What you have
here, in your grubby hands or randomly accessible memory respectively, is
a proper overdose of GWAR-related trivia designed purely for GWAR
fanatics' satisfaction, with as many puns as possible thrown in for
excellent accord. Also, it can function as a hallowed vehicle to introduce
into the fabulously versatile and rather frightfully naughty world of GWAR
those who as yet still have rimmed butts or physiques otherwise not yet
squirted into or bled upon.
In case you are not familiar with the concept of FAQs (or, for that
matter, FUQs, in which case you're a particularly sad excuse for an
individual indeed), read the next paragraph. GWAR knows you'll need it.
1.1 What the FUQ?!
FUQ is a takeoff on the ever popular FAQ files that pollute the Internet.
FAQ simply stands for "Frequently Asked Question". But as of late it has
come to indicate a text file full of information about a certain subject.
And you can get one for just about anything at all: Television shows,
music groups, sex, drugs, masturbation, suicide, you name it! But if we're
going to get really technical, this really isn't a FAQ, because not many
people ask the questions addressed in this text file at all, let alone ask
them frequently. Hence the name FUQ (pronounced like "fuck") which stands
for "Frequently Unasked Questions".
1.2 How to get updated versions of this thang
This file was started somewhere in the mythological past of
alt.music.gwar. The precise date only GWAR knows, but that's not really
all that important anyway. What is important is that the FUQ II is the
major revamp after 1.0, which was the very first installment. But there'll
be more or less frequent updates, of course, which will be posted to
alt.music.gwar and put up on the following WWW sites:
http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/1084/gwarfuq2.txt
(thanks to Tim Link)
http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/9160
(thanks to Bob of the GWAR Forum)
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Alley/9459/fuq.html
(thanks to Daniel Eriksson)
I am currently also looking for a GWAR-dedicated FTP site that it can be
uploaded to (yes, this is a hint, and hopefully not too subtle a one). If
you email me at cro...@worldaccess.nl with the subject line of "FUQ ME" I
will put you on the mailing list for the FUQ and send it out to you every
time it gets released.
1.3 How to make this thing so brilliant even GWAR might approve
First of all, please distribute this to FTP sites, WWW sites, bulletin
boards and whichever other places you deem fit. The word must get around
so the world at large knows about GWAR and the morally just things they
stand for. And you all realize that people who read about GWAR are likely
to check their stuff out, thus earning GWAR the money they need to bring
us even more spectacularly entertaining and awesomely profane shows.
Second, if you notice anything - anything AT ALL - that is either
incorrect or incomplete, please feel free to fill in the gaps (possibly
with source reference). This FUQ should approach immaculate GWAR-like
imperfection ever closer with every release that is bestowed onto a
baffled mankind. Several sections are as yet horribly incomplete, so help
is appreciated and, indeed, wanted. This goes especially for a full list
of any gigs they've ever played (especially as X-Cops), album/CD catalogue
numbers, the complete and accurate lyrics to rare songs ("SFW", "Krak
Down" alternative version, etc.) and missing dates of birth and current
membership status on some of the guys (and gals). You can start by just
sending me the dates and venues of all gigs you've seen them on that are
not yet in this FUQ II and making me aware of any typos. Cheers!
1.4 Hell-O - is it me you're looking for?
Although this FUQ II is based on work done by a different author (Brian
"Gwarrior" Carter, indebted to whom I am immeasurably), I shall
nonetheless waste a few words on my insignificant self a bit here.
I am Richard, a 29-year old office automation teacher who got into decent
music at the age of 13. Via Kiss, Deep Purple, Saxon and Venom I
eventually got to the stage where I seriously liked GWAR. I got introduced
to them in 1990 when a friend of mine had bought "Scumdogs" just so he
could let me listen to it and then sell it to me. His strategy worked, and
turned me into an aficionado. I have interviewed GWAR twice, and X-Cops
too. Curiously enough, none of my numerous orifices remember anything vile
having happened to them. Maybe my subconscious just blocked it away.
Other tripe I listen to includes Entombed, Obituary, Cradle of Filth,
Dimmu Borgir, Samael, My Dying Bride, Dream Theater, Therion, Metallica
(including "Load", yes), Rush, Theatre of Tragedy, Orphanage, Dark
Tranquillity and generally any good guitarist (though my fave is Jason
Becker). On the off-the-mark side of things, I dig Bjork and Mariah Carey,
as well as Vangelis and Jean Michel Jarre.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
II: INTRODUCING GWAR IN SEVERAL EASY LESSONS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
2.0 What's GWAR?
GWAR is a Virginian punk/metal band. The reason why they are deserving of
a FUQ the likes of this is that, in fact, they make a pretty impressive
racket while at the same time touring with the most awesome stage-show in
the business today. But let's start at the beginning, shan't we?
In the seventies (1970's that is) there was a performer named Alice
Cooper who really gave rock-n-roll a kick in the ass when he combined
music and theatrics in his concerts. During his shows he did a little
magic, showed a little blood and finished it all by chopping his own head
off. Take Alice's show, shoot it up with crack and you get an idea of what
a GWAR show is like. Instead of a mere one decapitation at the end,
however, you're rather more likely to see five - and that's during the
first song! Masturbating onto the audience, acts of bestiality and a human
meat-grinder are all things you'll likely see at a GWAR concert. So if
that kind of shit offends you, then you'd better stop reading right now.
Still here? Good!
2.1 Where did the name cum from?
There have been varying theories about where the name GWAR came from, but
the following is the true one. When the members of GWAR first broke free
from the iceberg they'd been imprisoned in (read: when they had to think
up a name), they let go of a horrific scream, "GWARRRRRRRRR," which was
later shortened to become GWAR and the band's name. A slightly varying
explanation is that Dave once shouted "We are GWWAARRGGHHLLL" or
something.
Just to confuse us and possibly piss a few people off, they seem to come
up with different explanations all the time. Sometimes fans think of
explanations for themselves. Some of them include the following.
There is a theory that in fact it was derived from "God What A Racket"
(kind of like "We Are Sexual Perverts" for WASP). It is said that, once,
GWAR admitted that they took the name from a comic book, where it stood
for "Gay Women Against Rape." There is a report of a "Watchmen" graphics
novel from 1986 in which it appears. In the movie "Phallus In Wonderland"
there is a scene where a bunch of people are protesting GWAR. In this
scene somebody is holding a sign which reads "Gay Women Against Rape",
which further supports this theory.
'GWAR', incidentally, is a genuine word in the Welsh language, where it
means "nape of the neck". Also, Lord Byron wrote a poem called THE GIAOUR,
which is an Arabic word for 'infidel' or 'unbeliever'. It is pronounced
like "gwar", and it was written in 1813. These instances have NOTHING to
do with the actual origin of the band name, but were spotted by GWAR fans
and are included here as illustrative examples, or perchance to indicate
some subliminally trivial significance never intended by GWAR themselves.
2.2 What exactly is the Slave Pit?
The Slave Pit is a building in Virginia where some members of GWAR live
(such as Bob Gorman). It is the place where they conceive their stage
antics, create their videos and ply their artful trade. It also houses a
recording studio, practice room, kitchen, offices, and computers.
The following bit, written by Mikey, captured it in a detailed way:
'The Slave Pit is a large warehouse kind of building in Richmond. The
upstairs is the offices for the band and downstairs near the entrance is
the practice room which can be seen on the middle pages of the "Carnival
of Chaos" liner notes. There's another room (the main room I guess) which
has a TV, table, sinks, refrigerator and all that kind of stuff. Through
that room is the first work shop where most of "Skulhedface" and "Phallus
in Wonderland" were filmed. A large corner of the room is painted blue
for the chroma key sequences. In this room a lot of the larger stuff like
Gor-Gor and the backdrops get made. From here you can go up to the rooms
where the props and costumes are stored. Also from here you can go to the
lofts where a few of the members (Dave Brockie, Dave Musel and Matt
Maguire) live. Through this room is a smaller shop where Maguire and
Gorman make a lot (if not most) of the props. Here you can find Bobby's
tape collection and tons and tons (or gallons and gallons) of liquid
latex. The drying room is back here, too, for setting the molds. Outside
is a large yard. There's also a place to play basketball (the cover of the
"RAWGwar" Slave Pit single tape). Don has a shop out on the far side of
the yard too. At the very back of the whole compound are practice spaces
for other bands. I know Kepone practices there, but I'm not sure if anyone
else does. Oh yeah, and they have big guard dogs too."
2.3 The history of GWAR
In the beginning there was a band called Death Piggy (more about them
later), a small-time punk band. Death Piggy was practicing in a room at
the infamous Richmond Diary, a vast deserted bottling plant that hippies
had taken over and in which they rented out vast interior areas to a
motley assortment of artists and musicians. Hunter Jackson and Chuck
Varga, two VCU attendees, had set up the Slave Pit to serve as the
production space for a movie they wanted to make, called "Scumdogs of the
Universe". As fate would have it, Death Piggy ended up wearing some of
Jackson's and Varga's costumes (Hunter made Dave a spewing dick for a
Death Piggy show), opening up for themselves under the GWAR moniker.
Everyone fuckin' loved it, so Death Piggy died a quick death while from
the decaying corpse was born the band supreme, GWAR. Like an alternative
story would have it, GWAR started as a tribute to Wendy O. Williams (for
which Death Piggy were headlining), who had just appeared naked in
Playboy. Hunter Jackson made Dave Brockie a squirting penis out of a
squeezy ketchup bottle. It was so obvious on stage that the audience
cleared from in front of the stage leaving Dave to climax on the empty
floor.
"Billions and billions of years ago, darkness was all that existed. Then
The Master, ruler of the universe, created the planets and everything in
them. But soon The Master became bored of this and created death,
destruction and war. He enjoyed watching the peons die but soon even that
became boring, he himself wanted to kill. So he began slaughtering the
humanoids that littered the planets face, but that too lost its fun. He
needed more of a challenge, so he created God-like creatures with whom he
could do battle. But soon there were too many of these creatures, and he
had to be rid of them. He conjured up all his power and created the most
powerful he could, GWAR was formed. This elite fighting force was called
The Scumdogs of the Universe. The Master used them to destroy all of his
enemies. Millions of years and millions of battles later, GWAR became more
powerful and craved even more power. Thinking that they could take over
The Masters thrown, GWAR attacked him and the greatest of all battles
began. The carnage lasted a billion years before The Master created the
ultimate weapon - the Death Pod. The pod swallowed GWAR up and delivered
them to The Master.
"Ahhhh, foolish Scumdogs", The Master laughed. After thinking about what
their punishment should be, he finally decided: GWAR shall be banished to
a miserable mudball planet called Earth...
The Earth rumbled when the mighty Death Pod crashed into its surface.
Shaken and confused, GWAR crawled out and looked around. Thinking they
could have a nice little planet once its cleared off, they destroyed the
dinosaurs. Afterwards they created Stonehenge so they could play croquet,
and weren't having that bad of a time. The Master looked down upon this
and frowned, what kind of punishment is this? So to stop the nonsense he
imprisoned GWAR in an iceberg on the frozen continent of Antarctica.
Millions of years later: 1980ish. Glam rock was at its peak, groups like
Poison and Whitesnake were dominating the airwaves. They inspired a whole
slew of new "hair spray" bands. But little did they know, all of that hair
spray put a hole in the ozone - right above Antarctica! Soon the
unfiltered gamma rays melted the iceberg and GWAR was free.
Meanwhile, Sleazy P. Martini was fleeing the country on drug charges,
flying over the former tomb of GWAR. He picked them up and brought them
back to America. He taught them how to use instruments and they learned
the language from watching midget wrestling and MTV. Soon GWAR was known
as the greatest band in the Universe...
Unsatisfied with being worshipped by humans, GWAR still wishes to take
revenge on The Master. They discovered a way. If GWAR could summon the
World Maggot, they could ride it back to the center of the universe and
finally defeat The Master. The World Maggot is a large maggot that lives
in the center of the Earth, the only way to wake it is to slaughter
millions of innocent people. So, taking advantage of their newfound fame,
GWAR puts on shows to which their fans flock. They murder and mutilate
these fans, show after show, until enough blood is spilled to wake the
maggot."
(More of this history is required)
2.4 What members are GWAR?
The following is an alphabetical list of members past and present of
GWAR, or people who have to do with the band in some or other capacity off
the musical side of things.
==========================================================================
Genna ANDERSON ("Ragnarok" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Occasional vocals
She was one of the female go-go'ers on the "Ragnarok" tour. She used to
be an opera singer and can sing really high. Sings backup on "None But the
Brave" and "The New Plague". Ex-girlfriend of Greg Ottinger.
==========================================================================
Joe ANAROMA (prior to "Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born in Canada
GWAR: Joey Slutman Vocals
Back in those days, Dave Brockie used to play bass. Joe sings on the
"GWAR Must be Destroyed" video on "The Return of Techno Destructo". His
voice is more death metal-like than Dave's.
==========================================================================
Pete (surname unknown) (between "Hell-O" and "Scumdogs of the Universe")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Lee BAETO Drums
Pete was drummer in GWAR during a new music seminar and 5 gigs after Hans
Orifice and prior to Jizmak (all pre-"Scumdogs of the Universe"). He had a
nervous breakdown and had to leave. His real surname seems a genuine
mystery to all that ought to know.
==========================================================================
Russ BAHORSKY (prior to "Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Used to be in Death Piggy
GWAR: Mr. Magico Guitar
He played in an earlier GWAR line-up.
==========================================================================
Michael (Mike) BISHOP ("Hell-O" - "Toilet")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 7 September 1968
GWAR: Beefcake the Mighty Bass
Now plays bass and sings in Kepone.
==========================================================================
Danny BLACK ("America must be Destroyed")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Slave Slave
He is one of the three people pulling Beefcakes chariot in the "Cool
Place to Park" section of "Live in Antarctica".
==========================================================================
Mike BONNER ("Hell-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Boner Slave
He is one of the main prop and costume fabricators at the Slave Pit. His
costume has a huge dick, hence his stage name.
==========================================================================
Chris BOPST (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: BalSac the Jaws of Death Bass
He played about 2 to 6 gigs with GWAR in 1987. The original BalSac.
==========================================================================
David (Dave) Murray BROCKIE ("Hello-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 30 August 1963. Later adopted
Used to be in Nuclear Dog Shit, Sub-Urbans, Yams on Wheels, Rock and
Roll Priests and eventually Death Piggy
GWAR: Oderus Urungus Vocals, bass
X-Cops: X-Patrolman Cobb Knobbler Bass, vocals
Dave was also the bald father in the 'sperm n slide' sketch, and does
some of the band's management.
==========================================================================
Heather BROOM (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: GWAR Woman Vocals
This appears to have been the earliest GWAR woman, before Lisa Harrelson
even.
==========================================================================
Ron CURRY (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Bass
The original GWAR bassist. Character name?
==========================================================================
Mike DELANEY (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Sexecutioner Occasional vocals
He can be seen on the right side of the "RAWGWAR" Slave Pit single cover.
==========================================================================
Michael (Mike) DERKS ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 28 June 1968
Used to be in a band called Dent (he himself claims it's really bad)
GWAR: BalSac the Jaws of Death Guitar
X-Cops: Lt. Louis Scrappinetti Guitar
He used to play bass in the beginning days of GWAR, around 1986/87;
Beefcake played guitar back then. He plays the father in the "Lawn Jockey"
sketch, wearing a Gilligan hat. He already joined GWAR during the "Hell-O"
tour. He also does the GWAR Internet mailing list.
==========================================================================
Steve DOUGLAS ("Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Formerly guitarist in Death Piggy
GWAR: BalSac the Jaws of Death Guitar
Now in a Richmond band called LOG.
He also co-wrote some of the songs on "Scumdogs of the Universe".
==========================================================================
Don DRAKULICH ("Hell-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 9 October 1960
GWAR: Sleazy P. Martini 'Manager', artist,
occasional vocals
Bozo Destructo 'Arch enemy', vocals
He also played Dick Cox and one half of the techno band 'Prestige'. He
did *not* fly the bat in "Phallus".
==========================================================================
Mike DUNN (X-Cops only)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Formerly in Blohole, Skatenigs and Rigor Mortis
X-Cops: X-Cadet Billy Club Drums
==========================================================================
Ben EUBANKS (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Vocals
The original GWAR singer, prior to Oderus (!). Character name?
==========================================================================
Liz FAIRBAIRN ("Hell-O" - "America Must be Destroyed")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Their real manager
She played the court reporter in "Phallus in Wonderland" and the mother
in the 'Sperm n Slide' sketch. She's a rather large-sized lady, and is no
longer GWAR's manager.
==========================================================================
Bob (Bobby) GORMAN ("America must be Destroyed" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born in 1969 (he won't reveal the date)
GWAR: ? Artist
X-Cops: X-Sgt. Zypygski Occasional vox, artist
He is the main prop/costume creator, and has been with GWAR, well, even
before GWAR. He also plays muzzled slaves, dead slaves, Flopsy, and the
kid at the beginning of "Phallus in Wonderland". He is one of the three
people pulling Beefcakes chariot in the "Cool Place to Park" section of
"Live in Antarctica".
==========================================================================
Rick GRIGGS ("America must be Destroyed")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? ?
He did the lights on the "America must be Destroyed" tour.
==========================================================================
Lisa HARRELSON ("Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: GWAR woman Vocals, dancing
This was the second GWAR woman, after Heather Broom. She joined around
1987, and was briefly (a few shows) replaced by one Colette before Danyell
joined (in 1988) and truly developed the Slymenstra character.
==========================================================================
Tim HERMAN (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Sluggo P. Martini On-stage Manager
A precursor to Sleazy's character, who got buried under Giant Stadium.
==========================================================================
Ethan ISENBERG ("Ragnarok")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ? Human beatbox
Also, with Charlie O'Donovan, part of the GWAR computer team.
==========================================================================
Hunter JACKSON ("Hello-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 15 September 1959
GWAR: Techno Destructo Vocals
Artist, video director
Hunter also does "Mind Control Monthly", is a slave, and plays Granbo.
He's *not* Distortion Wells, director of "Phallus".
==========================================================================
Scott KRAHL ("Hell-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Skulhedface / Slave Occasional vox, slave
Gor-Gor Pet/offspring
Cardinal Syn Evil clergyperson
Scott is also a computer buff and Internet person. He also played the
wrestling announcer for the two wrestling tours, and flew the bat in
"Phallus". He is one of the three people pulling Beefcakes chariot in the
"Cool Place to Park" section of "Live in Antarctica".
==========================================================================
Peter (Pete) LEE ("America must be Destroyed" tour - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 20 December 1967
Formerly of Rigor Mortis
GWAR: Flattus Maximus Guitar
X-Cops: Sgt. Al Depontsia Guitar
==========================================================================
Matt MAGUIRE ("This Toilet Earth" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Artist
Cardinal Syn Evil clergyperson
He's the slave with the knight mask, and fabricates costumes. In
"Skulhedface" he was the Samurai Exec.
==========================================================================
Melanie MANDL ("America must be Destroyed" - "Toilet")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Video editor
She is one of the nuns at the end of the "Skulfedface" video, the human
version of Skulhedface and a "Trick or Treat Girl" during the short 1993
GWAR Halloween tour. She also filmed the "Phallus in Wonderland" and "Tour
de Scum" videos, and was GWAR's main videographer.
==========================================================================
Robert MARGOULEFF ("Ragnarok")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Producer ("Ragnarok") and backing vocals
==========================================================================
Rob MOSBY ("Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Nippleus Erecticus Drums
Was credited with the drums on "Scumdogs of the Universe", though in fact
Jizmak played them. He "dissolved doing hydrochloric acid" (was fired or
quit, whatever), after which Jim Thompson took over for the US first
Cardinal Syn tour, prior to "Scumdogs of the Universe".
==========================================================================
Dave MUSEL ("Hell-O" - current) (pronunciation like 'muscle')
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Dave Musel Keyboards and samples
X-Cops: X-Detective Philip McRevis Keyboards and samples
==========================================================================
Charlie O'DONOVAN ("Ragnarok")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: ?
He is no longer with GWAR. He used to do Internet-related stuff.
==========================================================================
Chris ORANGER (pre"Hell-O"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Cornelius Carnage Guitar
One of the original GWAR guitarists, his character wore a Beefcake-type
helmet.
==========================================================================
Casey ORR ("Skulhedface" tour - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 22 April 1965
Used to play bass in Rigor Mortis and Blohole
GWAR: Beefcake the Mighty Bass
X-Cops: Sheriff Tubb Tucker Vocals, bass
Was a roadie for Ministry when they played Lollapalooza (1992). Casey
knows Ministry singer Scaccia back from Blohole.
==========================================================================
Greg OTTINGER (pre-"Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Steven Sphincter Guitar
Played about 2 to 6 gigs with GWAR in 1987.
==========================================================================
Matt RILEY ("America must be Destroyed" (earlier?) - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
He's the tour/road manager and does the sound, too.
==========================================================================
Brad ROBERTS ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 6 November 1967
Used to play in the band Rosebud
GWAR: Jizmak da Gusha Drums
X-Cops: X-Mountainbike Officer Biff Buff Vocals, some drums
He also manages the merchandise and works at the Iuma WWW site. He is
married to Ami Roberts (they met during the filming of "Phallus", where
she was one of Sleazy's girls), and they have a kid too. He plays drums on
the X-Cops tracks "Junkie" and "Beat You Down".
==========================================================================
Dewey ROWELL ("Hell-O" - "America must be Destroyed")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Used to be guitarist in White Cross
GWAR: Flattus Maximus Guitar
He left after the recording of "America must be Destroyed". Pete Lee
played on the tour.
==========================================================================
Danielle/Danyell STAMPE ("Scumdogs of the Universe" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 27 November 1967
GWAR: Slymenstra Hymen Occasional vox, dance
A.k.a. Flatua. She wants to be in a film one day, and on Broadway; also
refer to Lisa Harrelson, above. She joined in 1988, at which time she was
Dave Brockie's girlfriend. For those who are into this, Danyell is known
to say her measurements are 38-24-38, but this might not be wholly
correct.
==========================================================================
Sean SUMNER (prior to "Hell-O")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Hans Orifice Drums
Played in an early GWAR line-up (1986-87), doing 1 or 2 gigs. In
September 1996, sadly, he committed suicide.
==========================================================================
Jim THOMPSON (pre-"Hell-O" and pre-"Scumdogs of the Universe")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Hans Orifice Drums
He played about 2 to 6 gigs with GWAR in 1987, then joined them again for
the pre-"Scumdogs of the Universe" first US Cardinal Syn tour.
==========================================================================
Chuck VARGA ("Hello-O" - current)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Born 21 May 1958
GWAR: Sexecutioner Occasional vox, artist
Might have to retire from GWAR due to a knee problem. He makes loads of
props and costumes, too.
==========================================================================
Scott WOLFE ("American Must be Destroyed" - "This Toilet Earth")
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
GWAR: Producer ("This Toilet Earth"), not actually in GWAR
==========================================================================
GWAR: Pookie the Wonder Dog
==========================================================================
2.5 Where to see GWAR
I can see them in concert - hey, so can you! But if you don't feel like
getting your clothes fucked up with red and green blood (as well as red,
green and blue semen), you can watch GWAR in the safety of your own home.
Please refer to the video information in the GWARography, below.
For the latest tour information, check out paragraph 6.0, below.
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III - THE CHARACTERS IN GWAR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
3.0 The band
The following information was, er, borrowed off the various album jackets
and used here to inform you of the alter biographies of various members of
GWAR, as well as their arch enemies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name: Oderus Urungus
Nicknames: Orderus Aroundus, "Party Pants", The Irish Kid
Age: 28 (million)
Home Planet: My moldy war frame was purloined bit by lumpy bit
from ghettos across the galaxy. I was assembled in
syntho womb 5 on the planet Scumdogia
Height,Weight: Variable
Favorite color: Urine
Turn ons: Hulking war machines, lurking, public urinals, flesh
sculpture, bandying about my flaccid poop-root,
collecting colons of the damned
Turn offs: Women without acne, peace, families, unsullied
pantaloons, law enforcement personnel
On a date I like to: not go
Favorite celebrity: Myself, Carl Panzram
Ambitions or Goals: To view the shattered boiling mass of planet Earth
from outer space, rapidly disappearing from sight
Accomplishments: There is nothing to be proud of
Quote: "Those who trumpet their sufferings are usually most
deserving of agony"
Priminister of the sinister, Oderus has a brain transplant before each
show. Tortures thousands just by opening his mouth. Takes drugs seriously.
Golden-throated crooner of impossible gaiety and Chaos-thug supreme -
proud owner of the tri-prong scrotal mount.
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Name: Beefcake the Mighty
Instrument: Bass
Age: How Rude!
Home planet: Cholesterol
Favorite color: Blowfly blue
Favorite T.V. show: Man Glance
Favorite movie: Terms Of Endearment (or anything with Meryl Streep)
Last book read: Ulysses, James Joyce
Last book written: New Testament
Hobbies: Turd surfing, golf, onanism, peeping
Last raped orifice: The famous 17th island hole at Sawgrass, or Dan
Feather
Favorite celebrity: Paul Lynde
When I get mad: I "take 10" - count to ten for a timeout
Dream or Goal: To one day be known as "The white Gary Coleman"
Philosophy: "If at first you don't succeed, take sleeping pills"
Accomplishments: My work with NAMBLA
What shames me: My work with NAMBLA
On dates I like to: Apologize
Quote: "I only wish that you, the peons, the lowly zit-
ridden scum of outcast prepubescence so recklessly
misspending the treasures of youth could truly
understand my utter disdain for you as I look out
from my lofty perch of immeasurable fame and
opulence"
Beefcake is 299 tons of unadulterated sensitivity. "Certainly the bass is
the gentlest of all instruments...especially at full volume." Invented
music by stretching dinosaur guts across the Grand Canyon.
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Name: BalSac
Alias: The Jaws Of Death
Instrument: Guitar
Age: Pi x 10^2 1,000,000
Date of birth: My birthday
Home planet: Ennui
Height: Taller then Oderus
Weight: 12 tons fully dressed; 98lbs in a towel
Eye color: ?
Favorite color: Fusha
Favorite T.V. show: The Preview Guide
Last book read: The Tailhook Report
Last book written: The Kama Sutra II
Hobbies: Contemplating suicide, learning to like myself
Last raped orifice: The car of a GWAR fan
Favorite celebrity: God
When I get mad: I contemplate suicide
Dream or goal: Learn to like myself
Philosophy: "If all else fails, contemplate suicide"
Accomplishments: Getting out of bed this morning
What shames me: Me
On dates I like to: Contemplate suicide
Quote: "I am so very, very sorry"
BalSac writes songs by scratching his scrotum with his guitar. Prefers
quadriplegics over blondes. Invented V.D. and has a bear-trap for a face.
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Name: Flattus Maximus
Age: Unknown
Date of birth: Tomorrow
Home planet: Planet home
Favorite color: Brown
Favorite T.V. show: Barney
Last book read: Cant read
Last book written: Cant write
Hobbies: Hooked on Phonics
Last raped orifice: Lives in Dallas
Favorite celebrity: Gor-Gor
When I get mad: I fart
What shames me: Incontinence
"The Armored Clown", Flattus attributes his explosive guitar-style to a
strict diet of vegetarians. Often the brunt of cruel jokes, to which he
replies with devastating farts.
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Name: Jizmak da Gusher
Instrument: Drums
Age: Old enough to wipe my own ass
Height: Almost tall
Weight: Almost fat
Eye color: Crimson
Home planet: The wide world of sports
Favorite food: Goat toast
Favorite Beverage: Beaver Slurpee
Favorite Color: Clear
Favorite T.V. show: The price is right
Favorite movie: Goodfellas
Last book read: Autobiography of Spuds MacKenzie
Last book written: Dog's Digest
Hobbies: Clubbing, BBQ, Cleavage, Pretending
Last raped orifice: The Popes nose
Favorite celebrity: King Kong
When I get Mad: I smash, squash, beat, pound, crush, slam, and pass
out, much like the blackout of a violent drunk, upon
awakening, I forgot why I was mad
Dreams or goals: Daydreams, 137 goals
Philosophy: Live until you die or live as long as you can live
Accomplishments: I ate the whole thing
What shames me: Having soiled pants
On dates I like to: Ramajama
Quote: "I wish people would leave me alone"
The recently dethawed Jizmak became master of the "great beating machine"
after the horrible death of former GWAR drummer Nippleus Erectus.
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Name: Sexecutioner
Age: Unknown even to self
Home planet: Eros (located in the Genital V System)
Favorite color: Black
Favorite T.V. Show: Wings of the Luftwaffe
Last book read: The Rosetta Stone
Last book written: Fantastic Four Issue #84
Hobbies: Death, Sex, cooking, brian surgery, proctology, human
sculptures and tap dancing
Last raped orifice: My navel
Favorite celebrity: Charles Nelson Rielly
When I get mad: I ejaculate on old ladies
Dreams or goals: To destroy all life on this planet
Philosophy: Sexistentialism
Comments: "I cant wait to get off this planet and start
sexterminating more sentient life forms"
"I got all bases covered" says Sexy whose hobbies also include anal
impalement, necrophilia, and distilling goatloads.
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Name: Slymentra Hymen
Instrument: Scissors
Age: A woman never reveals her own age unless its a lie
Date of birth: I don't celebrate birthdays, they're something I'd
rather forget
Home planet: Coelltisphere, A warrior queen zone
Height: I tower above thee, when you're down on your knees
spit shining my boots
Weight: None of your business!
Eye color: Green-eyed lady, eyes are the mirror of the soul
Favorite color: The color of a freshly devoured body
Favorite T.V show: Let The Tube Be Broken
Favorite movies: Santa Sangre, The Fourth Man
Favorite drink: The blood of a young boy
Favorite sport: Man Juggling
Favorite hobbies: Flesh kneading, setting traps for man's ruin, gossip,
stealing your boyfriend, man hatred
Last book read: The story of an eye, Georges Bataille. Recited to me
by a young slave-boy who became too embarrassed to
continue
Last book written: Setting Myself Up To Fail; Total Ego Press 347BC
Last raped orifice: My own
Favorite celebrity: Mozart
When I get mad: I simply displace my aggression on the nearest
available whipping boy
Dreams or goals: To heal the planet, but since that's a lost cause, to
be on a planet of strong, independent women with no
men around to cock-block me.
Philosophy: A creature of terminal vanity, I love myself.
What shames me: I don't understand the question
On dates I like to: I wouldn't know - men never ask me out. My beauty and
intelligence terrifies them. They fear an emotional
and spiritual death at the thought of union. Cowards!
Quote: "There is no better way to know death than to link it
with a licentious image"
My sponsor: "Full on Flow" Tampons
Slymentra likes chopping off heads too - dickheads. She also has a few
'tips' of her own about who's boss.
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Name: Sleazy P. Martini
Age: Thir...None of your business!
Date of Birth: 6/6/56
Home planet: Oith
Height: 6'6", plus 2 feet for hair
Weight: 150, plus 50 pounds for hair
Symbol: $
Eye color: Green, what else
Favorite color: Green, what else
Favorite T.V. show: The Peoples Court
Favorite movies: The Godfather, Meanstreets, Scarface
Favorite drink: Happy Time wine
Favorite food: KungFu malt liquor
Last book read: How to manipulate friends and intimidate people
Last book written: Ditto
Last raped orifice: The collective anus of the buying public
Favorite celebrity: Myself
When I get mad: I get even
Dream of goal: There is no number large enough to quantify that kind
of money
Philosophy of life: It's a bitch for everyone else
Accomplishments: Fingering Cher
What shames me: Ditto
On dates I like to: Get sucked for 12 hours
Quote: "Suck it up"
3.1 GWAR's enemies
This paragraph features most of the GWAR enemies throughout the years, in
alphabetical order. In fact, it's not just enemies you'll find here, but
also some kindof half-enemy characters.
ANTON REEMCOB:
A censorship dweeb that was going to replace GWAR on their "America Must
be Destroyed" tour with the techno band 'Prestige'. He is supposed to be a
FAMOUS writer.
BAD BIKER BITCH:
Former girlfriend of the Redneck and now main squeeze to GWAR lead singer
Oderus Urungus. Her claim-to-fame was bearing the offspring of her and
Oderus on stage. But Oderus being the good daddy we would think him to be,
couldn't wait and ripped the baby out. Too bad. The baby died but it did
make a good snack. But on the Bitch's more recent appearances she just
complains about never getting any attention - To which Oderus responds by
chopping off her tits. She attacks with the deadly double-edged dildo.
BEEFY SECURITY GOON:
On the "America Must Be Destroyed tour", a particularly big, beefy, and
ugly concert security goon made his way up on stage to do a little crowd
control. GWAR showed him who was in charge by ripping his guts out.
CARDIDAL SYN:
In the year 1999 (okay, actually 1996) the comet Ragnarok is believed to
be approaching and the end of the world is near. As the earth prepares for
its end, we find out that it is actually Cardinal Syn coming to enslave
our world. The giant holy robot and his followers fight GWAR and after he
meets his defeat, we find that inside his massive robotic body is the
alien mutant monster baby, whose soul was used to power the robot.
Note: Like Gor-Gor, Cardinal Syn is also a very early character dating
back prior to "Hell-o"! He has appeared in old comics and films and made
some appearances on stage, but has not been featured in one of GWAR's
major worldwide tours until recently.
CHERNOBYL COCKROACH:
Similar to the Ant, there was also a giant cockroach that was one of the
band's early enemies. It was green and mean, and was killed by a huge
canister of "Nuclear Raid".
C.I.A.:
Called Cerutti Fancypants, he trained The Morality Squad in combat so
they wouldn't be defenseless when going up against GWAR. No special
powers, but he packs a dangerous gun collection.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT:
Superhero grandson of the hideous Granbo. Dressed in his Captain America
uniform, he is the one who stole the Cuttlefish from between the legs of
Oderus in "Phallus in Wonderland." Filled with muscles, but they can be a
drawback too, as they are easily ripped right off the chest. He is always
accompanied by Private Parts (cf.).
DR. D.BILL.ADATED:
The Morality Squads own mad scientist. He created Tiny to take care of
GWAR. Needless to say, his plan failed. Tiny was destroyed and the doctor
got his face squashed in. It seems that he acquired the crutches once used
by Granbo. These crutches, when pulled back, release a dangerous
collection of spikes into its victims face.
EDNA P. GRANBO:
A couple of years ago an organization was formed that is more dangerous
then all of the enemies above: The Morality Squad. The sole purpose of
this group is to rid the world of GWAR forever! Granbo is the leader and
founder of The Morality Squad. She is a former PMRC member who got fed up
with the filthy music put out by GWAR. She even went so far as to coat the
cover of "Scumdogs of the Universe" with mind altering drugs, so we
wouldn't get the full effect of the music. Used to be seen on crutches but
now is confined to "the wheelchair of death." Died a horrible death,
getting the skin ripped right off her body after having her wrinkled tits
sucked by GWAR.
FATHER BOHAB:
A typical priest - 0ut to get GWAR ever since they exposed him for the
child-molester that he is. Last seen getting his cross shoved up his ass
(which he probably rather liked).
FLESH COLUM:
Skulhedface's giant monstrosity, pieced together from the bodies of the
most horrible humans of all time, was his secret weapon in his fight
against GWAR. With an appropriately named cock-pit, a turd throwing butt-
cannon, a bile-spewing penis-like extension with the head of Adolf Hitler,
and more body parts than Jeffery Dahmer's apartment, the Flesh Colum made
short work of GWAR, leaving them defeated for Skulhed's nefarious schemes.
FLOPSY:
A.k.a. the Cunt-Faced Boy, Skulhed's faithful assistant. Using his
deformed face, he seduced and lured Beefcake into the lair of Skulhed, who
then proceeded to cut off Beefcake's face and use it as a trap for the
rest of GWAR. As GWAR was getting their asses kicked, Flopsy (who was
genuinely enamored with Beefcake) was coerced into giving Beef his face
back and setting him free. Beefcake then proceeded to fist-fuck Flopsy's
face, which was more than the poor lad could bear.
FRANK SINATRA:
The Chairman of the Broads, made up the other half of the "Misogynist
Wrecking Crew" along with O.J. Simpson (cf.).
FUDGIES:
Mr. And Mrs. Fudgie, from when GWAR used to do a Toilet Summoning to
conjure up something from a different realm ("the plane of Fudge"). Mr.
Fudge looks like a huge turd with an eye on a tentacle.
GIANT MUTANT ANT:
A very early enemy, with a rather elaborate costume for the early days.
Can be seen in the "GWAR Must Be Destroyed" film that is part of the
"Return Of Techno Destructo" video available from Slave Pit, as well as
the "Poor Ole Tom" video.
GOATIE:
A.k.a. The Radioactive Ram, partner of the Chernobyl Cockroach on the
1996 Wrestling Tour.
GOR-GOR:
In the basement of the temple of GWAR, the slaves found something that
appeared to be a dinosaur egg. Slymenstra attempted to nuture the egg, but
the other GWARriors had their way and fed him with dead babies and shot
him up with crack. The enraged baby tyrannosaur burst forth from the egg
and bit off a slave's hand, then escaped form the temple "to spread
disease and hatred to an unknowing world." Oderus claims to be the father
of the child, although Slymenstra refutes this. A full grown Gor-Gor later
returned to destroy a city and fight GWAR, only to have a sword stuck
through his head by Oderus. Techno Destructo later found Gor-Gor and
resurrected him as the Cybernetic Gor Borg and tried to use him to fight
GWAR again, only to have his creation turned against him when Slymenstra
took control of his remote. It is said that Gor-Gor will return again
soon.
Note: although not imortalized in song until "America Must be Destroyed",
Gor-Gor is another early character in the GWAR mythos, appearing in crude
form in shows prior to "Hell-o"!, in very early comics, and in the lyrics
to AEIOU ("these are Gor-Gor's vowels").
GREY ALIENS:
On the "Ragnarok" tour, Oderus was confronted by a pair of Grey space
aliens like we see on the X-Files and everywhere else these days. They
came out with a big sperm sucking gun to gather the seed of Oderus
Urungus, and proceeded to suck the Cuttlefish dry. Later, they returned
and showered Slymenstra with the diseased semen, impregnating her with
Oderus' child. Later, the pregnant Slymenstra was brought back out
shackled down as the other band members proceeded to try to abort the
child with a "knife in her guts" but it was then abducted by the grey
aliens.
HHIIIMMMMM:
A dead maggoty baby using during performances of "Have You Seen Me?",
widely rumored to be Oderus' boyfriend.
JERRY GARCIA:
Already embalmed by years of chemical intake, after his recent death old
Jerry kept on making appearances at GWAR shows. Like many others so
foolish to take the stage with GWAR, Jerry had his guts pulled out and his
face ripped off.
LOG SUCKOFF
Another Fudgie (cf.). This one has tentacles for hands, is green, has a
Viking hat and a huge bears. It feeds pizzas to GWAR and has been known to
defeat Cardinal Syn (cf.). It was modeled after El Duce (RIP, of the band
The Mentors). The name seems to have been inspired by Lovecraft's Yog
Soggoth.
MELVIN FLEEBISH (NOT 'SQUEMISH'):
The lucky, lucky contest winner (he wins all the time). Well, GWAR always
makes sure he "gets what he fucking deserves". Looks like he wins another
decapitation. Yippee.
MICHAEL JACKSON:
First seen on GWAR's 1995 tour, the King Of Pop dared to try to upstage
GWAR with his break dancing showmanship. He then proceeded to reveal his
massive once-black member and "beat it." Of course our favorite band of
marauding space monsters proceeded to remove the offending organ from him
(which shouldn't have been too much of a shock since we all know that he
must have lost his balls years ago). They then ripped his face off and
underneath was...a gray space alien?
NAZI SKINHEAD:
The second contestant on the famous game show "Slaughterama." Being the
nice guys they are, GWAR noticed that the skinhead was growing a little
peach-fuzz on his head. Well we can't have that, so Oderus decided to give
him a haircut. Unfortunately, the razor slipped and cut his head off
(whoops).
NUNS:
First seen protesting a GWAR concert with other various lowlifes. But
GWAR manager Sleazy P. Martini set them straight. Bravely he walked out to
confront the dangerous villains. "Are you in show business" he asked.
"Why, no we're not" the elderly woman answered. "THEN GET THE FUCK OFF THE
STAGE!!" with that (and a blast from his shotgun) he put a hole through
one of the nuns. GWAR came to take care of the rest of them - decapitating
them in a manner that would make you all proud.
O.J. SIMPSON:
He made his debut on the late 1995 Mid Galactic Wrestling Championship
tour, as part of a tag team with Frank Sinatra. The bloodthirsty Juice
must have been having flashbacks of Nicole, because he tried to hack away
at GWAR's resident blonde, Slymenstra. Or course it didn't take long
before GWAR beheaded him, showering the audience with orange juice.
OLLIE NORTH:
During some of the tag-team wrestling shows in 1988, GWAR Woman faced off
against Ollie North at the beginning of the set.
PIG COP:
Since GWAR recognize no laws of man (or nature), the police often made an
appearance at the shows on the "America Must be Destroyed" tour in the
form of a fat pig-faced police officer (who would have made a good X-Cop)
who shot his gun at them, but wound up having a mop handle shoved up his
ass and was carried off the stage like a pig on a spit.
PRESTIGE:
The aforementioned techno band. When it was announced that GWAR would not
be playing, they came out and started playing a droning techno song. Of
course, before too long GWAR appeared and they wound up getting their
heads smashed in with their keyboards and spraying the crowd with blood.
PRIVATE PARTS:
First seen giving Corporal Punishment a blow job, last seen getting
thrown off a skyscraper by two GWAR slaves. This little pecker might look
small but he sure gave Beefcake a good run for his money.
REDNECK FROM HELL:
Big, fat, beer-bellied, balding redneck who carries a shotgun. But why is
he after GWAR? Well, it seems that Oderus stole his girlfriend/ daughter/
wife/ mother (incest y'know). Well since then he follows GWAR from show to
show and sometimes jumps up on stage, trying to blow away poor Oderus. But
fear not, the last time I seen him, Oderus chopped off the top of his head
and ripped open his beer-belly to find...uh...a beer!
SKULHEDFACE:
Once the beautiful queen matriarch of a peaceful vegetarian planet, she
was transformed into Skulhedface by Cardinal Syn and his holy warriors
when they invaded her planet. Skulhed was sent to Earth by Syn to
subjugate the developing world and harvest the Jizmogloben from its
inhabitants, preparing the world for Syn's planned invasion. Throughout
the centuries, Skulhed instigated wars to advance earth's technologies
until the world was ready for domination. However, instead of saving the
Jizmogloben for Syn, Skulhed became addicted to it and its power, and
secretly began plotting to overthrow Syn by using the powerful Jizmogloben
of GWAR. Skulhed used his assistant Flopsy and his creation The Flesh
Colum to defeat GWAR and rob them of their Jizmogloben using a contraption
called the Homogenizer. GWAR managed to trick Skulhed into giving them
their Jiz back, and then proceded to rape her to death.
SLASH (OR AN INCREDIBLE SIMULATION):
How dare that Guns-n-Roses superstar just walk on stage and start showing
off to us GWAR fans. Luckily we were spared from listening to him for too
long, as Oderus ripped his face off.
STUBBO:
A.k.a. Stubbles, leader of the GWAR fanclub, who gets disemboweled all
the time.
TARANTULINA:
A hot looking weightlifter Scumdog chick, also to be seen on the "Return
of Techno Destructo" video. She's a Scumdog that has been sent by the
Master to check up on Techno Destructo's progress and see why he has
failed to return GWAR to the Master's army.
TECHNO DESTRUCTO:
(a.k.a.: gay-bot, transformer-ass wannabe)
Arch enemy of GWAR: Served with GWAR in the Masters 3rd Scumdog Legion.
Used to be two cyborgs sharing the same name, but has since split into two
personalities: Techno Destucto and Bozo Destructo (played by Don Drakulich
a.k.a. "Sleazy"). Hell-bent on forcing GWAR to become good guys, but they
usually end up kicking the shit out if each other instead: trying to
decide who has the Masters permission to destroy GWAR! They drink Multi-
Lube, jerk off to Popular Mechanic and come from way past Uranus. Techno
is armed with a huge mechanical claw while Bozo attacks with what seems to
be a giant meat tenderizer.
After the two split, Techno became even more obsessed with power. He
confronted GWAR and made them an offer: He suggested they team up and take
over the universe. When GWAR refused, Techno decided if they shall die.
After a long battle, Techno was finally disarmed and was forced to become
a slave to GWAR.
TINY:
Mutated nephew of Granbo. A nuclear mutation of two men, this guy packs a
powerful punch. He has a weak spot though - he can be sliced right down
the middle, but then you'll have to fight two of them.
WORLD MAGGOT:
Inside the earth lay the enormous world maggot. GWAR hatched a scheme to
harvest the souls of their fans to wake the maggot, so they could ride
back into the stars upon its back and escape this insufferable mudball
planet. Unfortunately for them, when the maggot awoke they were busy
defeating Skulhedface, and the maggot flew off into the stars without
them. The maggot also manages to make an appearance in their stage show at
the end, as the band feeds them with female fans from the crowd, but when
it starts attacking the band members they hack it into pieces like
everything else.
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IV - GWAROGRAPHY
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5.0 Stuff they've done
Funny how we're just getting to the music. But as Michael Bishop (ex-
Beefcake) said, "GWAR is rock n' roll disguised as a joke." Yeah, and the
music is the greatest! All the dressing up is cool, but without the music
they wouldn't have made it this far. If you haven't heard it - then stop
reading this FUQ and go buy a CD of theirs!
5.1 The albums
==========================================================================
HELL-O
==========================================================================
- Shimmy Disc red vinyl (1988) (limited to 500 copies, really rare)
- Shimmy Disc black vinyl (1988)
- Shimmy Disc cassette (198?) (with bonus track "Black and Huge")
- Shimmy Disc CD (1989) (with bonus track "Black & Huge")
Catalogue number SDE 8910/CD 08-025221-10
- Metal Blade CD (1992) (remastered) (without "Black and Huge")
Catalogue number 3984-14004-2
This was GWAR's first attempt to brainwash America. This album has a punk
feel rather than the metal music GWAR now produces. They have grown a lot
since this album, and a lot of fans say its not too good (and, of course,
yet others say it's great!). It's been re-released with a bonus track as
well.
1. Time for Death 9. Pure as the Arctic Snow
2. AEIOU 10. Je M' Appelle J.Cousteau
3. Americanized 11. GWAR Theme
4. I'm in Love (With a Dead Dog) 12. Bone Meal
5. Slutman City 13. Ollie North
6. World O' Filth 14. Techno's Song
7. War Toy 15. U Ain't Shit
8. Captain Crunch 16. Rock n' Roll Party Town
*17. Black and Huge
* This is only on the cassette version and various imported CDs
==========================================================================
SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1990)
- Master Records CD (1990)
Catalogue number MAS CD 001
- Jimco CD (1990) (Japanese version with 65-page bonus booklet and slip
case)
Released in 1990, the year GWAR hit the big time! Their first album on a
major label (Metal Blade, backed by Warner Bros.). A big advance from
"Hell-O'", it also has one of
written. Also included (on CD) is Beefcake's first attempt at singing.
Here's a little more info on the Japanese booklet.
Front and back cover and front and back inside cover are the four
pictures that have been send to the newsgroup late October 1996 as
Scumjap1.jpg - Scumjap4.jpg. The following is a page-by-page description.
pg. 1 Table of Contents
pg. 2-9 Article and interview (in Japanese)
pg. 10-18 English lyrics (with many inaccuracies)
pg. 19-27 Japanese lyrics
pg. 28-35 Band bio pictures (same as on US release, only with one band
member on each page)
pg. 36-41 Let There Be GWAR comic (1987(?) w/ Hans & Stephen Sphincter)
pg. 42-49 The Origin Of GWAR comic (1988)
pg. 50-54 A True Story of Two Fan's Mindless Devotion To GWAR comic
pg. 55 This Is Your Brain On GWAR comic
pg. 56-58 Comic w/ Techno Destructo Express
pg. 59 Can Earth Endure GWAR tour flyer
pg. 60-61 Sleazy tries to get GWAR signed comic
pg. 62 Sexy "I Hate Housework" comic
pg. 63 I Sacrificed My Mom To GWAR tour flyer
Except for four pictures, all of the other stuff has been (and probably
still is) available through Slave Pit in the various comic collections
they've done. The English lyrics are wrong in some spots, but they are
large enough to read without a microscope (unlike the US version). They
don't have Grambo's scribblings on them, though.
1. The Salaminizer 8. Vlad the Impaler
2. Maggots 9. Black and Huge
3. Sick of You 10. Love Surgery
4. Slaughterama 11. Death Pod
5. The Years Without Light 12. Sexecutioner
6. King Queen *13. Cool Place To Park
7. Horror of Yig
* CD Version only
==========================================================================
AMERICA MUST BE DESTROYED
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1991)
Catalogue number CD ZORRO 37
- Metal Blade CD
Catalogue number 3984-17016-2
Heavier then the previous two and, more importantly, it had sicker
lyrics. This album also featured a taste of GWAR's sensitive side with
"The Road Behind". The Canadian version of the album has "Rock N' Roll
Never Felt So Good", "Crack in the Egg" and "Have You Seen Me" removed,
with earlier versions of "Krak Down", "Bad Bad Men" and "O Canada" added.
1. Ham on the Bone 7. Gilded Lily
2. Crack in the Egg 8. Poor Ole Tom
3. Gor-Gor 9. Rock N' Roll Never Felt So Good
4. Have You Seen Me? 10. Blimey
5. The Morality Squad 11. The Road Behind
6. America Must Be Destroyed 12. Pussy Planet
==========================================================================
THE ROAD BEHIND (EP)
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1992)
Catalogue number 9 45101-2
This is simply a "single" of the song "The Road Behind" with lots of
other cool shit on with it. We get to hear RAWG perform on an album for
the first time. And you also get a live version of "Have You Seen Me"
that's worth the price alone. A transcript of this live cut can be found
later in this FUQ. You also get a new version of "Captain Crunch" (from
"Hell-O'") and "Krack-Down".
There is a different version (catalogue number please?) with "S.F.W." as
seventh track.
1. The Road Behind 4. Voodoo Summoning
2. Overture in N Minor 5. Captain Crunch
3. Krak-Down (Version 1) 6. Have You Seen Me?
==========================================================================
THIS TOILET EARTH
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade/Priority Records CD (1994) (censored version)
Catalogue number P2-53889
- Metal Blade CD (1994) (full version)
Unfortunately the first album that is around in a censored version
without the song "Baby Dick Fuck" (the artwork is just blotted out, all
dicks are covered up with a black "censored" text and the CD simply skips
track 9). Some people think this album is more hard-core than "America
Must be Destroyed". It's Brad Robert's favorite album. This album was
first distributed through Priority Records due to the "BDF" controversy.
Metal Blade eventually picked it up, but in the US it was distributed
without "BDF". So make sure track #9 is on your version!
1. Saddam A Go-Go 9. BDF (Baby Dick Fuck)
2. Penis I see 10. Fight
3. Eat Steel 11. The Issue of Tissue (spacecake)
4. Jack the World 12. Pocket Pool
5. Sonderkommando 13. Slap U Around
6. Bad Bad Men 14. Krak Down
7. Pepperoni 15. Filthy Flow
8. The Insidious Soliloquy 16. The Obliteration of
of Skulhedface Flab Quarv 7
==========================================================================
RAGNAROK
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1995)
Catalogue number SPV 084-101032
Released in 1995, with more space given for synth effects man Musel.
Includes the RHCP-alike "Think You Outta Know This", a song about ripping
off. Including a great Slymenstra-Oderus duet, this concept album is based
around the coming of Ragnarok and the occurrence of Cardinal Syn.
1. Meat Sandwich 8. Think You Outta Know This
2. The New Plague 9. Martyr Dumb
3. Whargoul 10. Nudged
4. Ragnarok 11. Fire in the Loins
5. Dirty, Filthy 12. Surf of Syn
6. Stalin's Organs 13. Crush Kill Destroy
7. Knife in Yer Guts 14. None but the Brave
==========================================================================
S.F.W. (PROMO)
==========================================================================
- A&M Records CD single (1995)
Catalogue number 31458 8401
A CD single featuring two versions of the "S.F.W." song culled from the
movie of the same name (see below), each 2'12" long. If you want to get
your hands on it, try http://www.vinylvendors.com or CBL Records at P.O.
Box 641533, San Francisco, CA 94164-1533 (cbl...@ix.netcom.com).
1. S.F.W. No Fucking Version 2. S.F.W. LP Version
==========================================================================
SURF OF SYN
==========================================================================
A 7" single rumored (but not at all, actually) released on the Man's Ruin
label. Contains an instrumental "Surf of Syn", "Dirty/Filthy" and
Slymenstra's sultry solo jazz ballad effort "Don't Need a Man". Do note:
This has never actually been released and it looks like it never will.
==========================================================================
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT (AS X-COPS)
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1995)
Catalogue number SPV 084-101072
After the "Ragnarok" tour, the GWAR musicians wanted to do some more
stuff. So they formed X-Cops and released this album at the end of 1995.
More hard-core, and with entirely different subject matter (well,
largely). Incidentally, X-Cops use another drummer as well, not just Brad
Roberts. For more info on X-Cops, see 6.1.
1. Interloper 8. 5-0
2. Barbells 9. Tune Up Time
3. Cavity Search 10. Third Leg
4. Zipper Pig 11. Paddy Wagon Rape
5. Welcome to New Jersey 12. Highway Star (cover of the DP song)
6. Your Mother 13. You F***ed up
7. The Party's Over
==========================================================================
X-COPS (AS X-COPS)
==========================================================================
A 1996 7" single released on the Man's Ruin label, featuring "Junkie"
(sung by Mike Derks) and "Beat you Down" (Casey Orr on vocals). Brad plays
drums on them (Mike Dunn was back at Music School when it was recorded).
The address of Man's Ruin is: 2415 3rd Street #239, San Francisco, CA
94107, USA. It can also be ordered at Newbury Comics, online at
www.newbury.com/sku/79303.htm.
==========================================================================
"CARNIVAL OF CHAOS"
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade CD (1997)
Catalogue number 3984-14125-2
A very versatile offering, including jazz and honkey-tonk tracks amid the
more usual punk-rock and metal. After 10 minutes' silence at the end,
there is a short snippet of the 'epic' "Drop Drawers" (see "Slave Pit
singles", below).
1. Penguin Attack 10. If I Could be That
2. Let's Blame the Lightman 11. In Her Fear
3. First Rule Is 12. Back to Iraq
4. Sammy 13. I Suck on my Thumb
5. Endless Apocalypse 14. The Private Pain of Techno Destructo
6. Billy Bad Ass 15. Gonna Kill U
7. Hate Love Songs 16. Sex Cow
8. Letter from the Scallop 17. Antarctican Drinking Song
Boat 18. Don't Need a Man
9. Pre-Skool Prostitute
==========================================================================
MISCELLANEOUS APPEARANCES ON COMPILATIONS
==========================================================================
METALMEISTER VOLUME I
Metal Blade, year of release unknown. This has "Interloper" (X-Cops) and
"Meat Sandwich" on it.
METALMEISTER VOLUME II
Metal Blade, 1997. This has "Penguin Attack" on it.
5.2 The Slave Pit singles
Early 1997, BalSac made available to the faithful legions of Cyber Slaves
a set of seven musicassettes known as 'The Slave Pit singles'. These
contain a variety of rare tracks and take-outs that have not made it onto
any CD. Every tape is 20 minutes long and looks professional, though some
tapes in fact contain less than 20 minutes of music. For ordering info,
contact the Slave Pit.
==========================================================================
"THE ART OF WAR" (SP01)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. Drop Drawers 3. The Ballad of Vincent Bologleoni
2. Don's Bong is Gone 4. The Private Pain of Techno Destructo
(Star Trek Version)
"Drop Drawers" and "The Private Pain of Techno Destructo (Star Trek
Version)" should have been on "Carnival of Chaos" but they could not be
released due to GWAR not having received permission to cover parts of
existing songs (Billy Thorpe's "Children of the Sun" and a the Star Trek
"Amok Time" tunes). "Don's Bong is Gone" is from the SFW Sessions.
==========================================================================
"RAWGWAR" (SP02)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. Asian People 4. The Needle
2. Mexican Prick Fish 5. The SFW Sessions (Part II)
3. The SFW Sessions 6. Cum All Ye Young Faggots
7. Poopie Britches
"The SFW Sessions" contain drunken ravings and rantings, and the final
two songs on side B are vocals-only songs, the first being a Johnny Cash
song originally. "The Needle Song" has BalSac on vocals for the first time
in GWAR.
==========================================================================
"KÖSZÖNÖM" (SP03)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. Flying Houses 3. (RE)FLUX
2. Word
This is a GWAR side project, with Brad Roberts on Drums, BalSac on bass,
Tannon Penland on guitar, and Dwain Curd on vocals (the latter two are
from the now defunct band The Kenmores). Pretty industrial-sounding, very
different from GWAR, or X-Cops for that matter. The songs stem from 1994
recording sessions, and the tape contains 12 minutes of music.
==========================================================================
"WOLFGANG A.M. - A NEW WORLD OF SOUND" (SP04)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. B-Day Boy (Ween) 3. Every Little Thing She Do (The Police)
2. Synchagone (The Cars) 4. T'Aint Nobody's Buizness (Billy Holiday)
5. The Life of the Mind (Barton Fink)
A studio project involving BalSac (as Klaus Karmel), soundman Scott Wolfe
(as DJ Dirty D) and Melanie Mandl (as Ilsa, She Wolf of the A.M.). All
songs are over-produced cover tunes, very creative, but difficult to
digest aurally.
==========================================================================
"MC RHYTHMLESS" (SP05)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. White Boy Can't Dance There's nothing on side B
2. Stuck is with a Sucka
A 'white boy' rap tape. Matt Maguire did a comic about Glomco's creation,
a robot called MC Rhythmless, controllable by them, teamed up with Gang
Bang for street cred. The songs describe the demise of the robot. On this
tape are performances by Matt Maguire (MC Rhythmless), Mike Derks (Da
Runt, Roundboy & DJ Jerry C), Brad Roberts (G Credit), Melanie Mandl (Lady
D), Scott Wolfe (MC Oreo) and Mike 'X-Cops' Dunn. Unfortunately, this tape
contains a mere 6 minutes of music.
Some copies have B-sides containing the same as side A.
==========================================================================
"GWAR LITE" (SP06)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. The Road Behind There is nothing on side B.
a) Chorus
b) Lead
2. Sick of You
3. Beef and Flopsy's Love Theme
4. Ein Klien Fart Musik
5. GWAR Theme (cartoon)
Elevator muzak versions of GWAR classics, and some obscure additions.
They were all conceived by Mike 'BalSac' Derks, except "Beef and Flopsy's
Love Theme" (by Wolfgang A.M. see SP04). Especially "Ein Klien Fart
Musik", based on an excerpt from Mozart's "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik", is
horrendously funny, rearranged 'for bodily functions'. Alas, only 10
minutes of music on this one.
Some copies have B-sides containing the same as side A.
==========================================================================
"A SOUNDTRACK TO KILL YOURSELF TO" (SP07)
==========================================================================
Side A Side B
1. Flesh Colum (Part I) 8. Flesh Colum (Parts III + IV)
2. My Truck, My Dog and 9. Beef and Flopsy Porno
Prison 10. Sleazy's Walkin' Music
3. Sperm and Slide 11. Vinnie (Church Version)
4. Flesh Colum (Part II) 12. Lawn Jockey
5. Turtles the Wonder Dog 13. Skulhedface OD's
6. Skulgedface Burlesque 14. Skulhed Queen
7. World Maggot (awakes +
leaves)
A tape containing the soundtracks to the GWAR films "Phallus in
Wonderland" and "Skulhedface". Some are remixed industrial-type background
songs, some are rather more majestic.
5.3 The videos
==========================================================================
GWAR MUST BE DESTROYED
==========================================================================
Released in 1987. A very early film from GWAR with Joe Anaroma on vocals.
Techno explains his mission to find his fellow Scumdogs, GWAR, and return
them to the Master to fight in his war, but the decadent rock n roll
lifestyle has corrupted them and they refuse to go, leading to the
inevitable fight with Techno. Very early lineup of the band plays here,
and Joe can be heard singing on previously unheard versions of
"Americanized", "U Ain't Shit", and "GWAR Theme". Dave is on bass, and
BalSac (Stephen Douglas!) is there too. Russ Bahorsky and Sean Sumner are
listed in the credits, so it is presumable that they are the other guitar
player and drummer. Based on old comics, their character names were Hans
and Stephan Sphincter. The original GWAR Woman (Lisa Harrelson!) is also
in the film. The costumes are very rudimentary, so it is hard to tell some
of the characters apart. Also watch for the giant Antarctic Ant, the
evisceration of the Pink Unicorn, and a manager type guy with a big mohawk
(presumably an early version of Sleazy, Tim Herman - see bios).
==========================================================================
RAWGWAR
==========================================================================
A video with uncertain release date, pretty old, 110 minutes long. It
allegedly contains material from 1986 to 1990, but especially this latter
date seems unlikely as it would logically have to predate the 1989 sequel
(below). The most interesting features are the fact that is has an
unreleased "Cardinal Syn Theme", that "The Years Without Light" is an
early version and "Slaughterama" is sung over the "Techno Song" music.
Also, you can see an early incarnation of the Sexicutioner character which
had a penis hanging from his shorts. It was recorded 'live' at various
locations and dates. The list of acts that happen on stage is too long to
list (it includes appearances of Anton Reemcob, the Bad Biker Bitch,
Stubbo, Redneck from Hell, the Fudgies, Pookie, the Hippie, and Cardinal
Syn). The quality is poor, but it's very interesting otherwise!
1. Black & Huge 15. Death Pod
2. World O'Filth 16. Dead Dog
3. Slutman City 17. Time For Death
4. Bone Meal/Ollie North 18. Horror of Yig
5. Dead Dog 19. Slaughterama
6. Americanized 20. Sexicutioner
7. The Years Without Light 21. Techno Song
8. As Pure as the Arctic Snow 22. U Ain't Shit
9. Techno Song 23. Vlad the Impaler
10. Ham on the Bone (old, slow 24. Cardinal Syn Theme
version) 25. U Ain't Shit
11. World O'Filth 26. Gwar Theme
12. Captain Krunch 27. Captain Krunch
13. Bone Meal/Ollie North 28. Cool Place to Park
14. Bone Meal/Ollie North
==========================================================================
THE NEXT MUTATION
==========================================================================
Released in 1989, also known as "RAWGWAR: The Next Mutation" (it is
probably a kind of sequel). This was sent out to promoters and the like,
prior to GWAR signing to Metal Blade. It is a compilation of early MTV &
cable TV appearances and a live show from 1989. Track 1 is from Fangoria's
video magazine, 2 is ?, 3-5 are live, 6 is a video filmed in the studios
where they made their appearance on Dr. Gruesome's Movie Morgue and
features a demo version of the song, 7-14 are live, 15 is another Dr.
Gruesome video, 16 & 17 are live, and 18 is a video featuring the "Hell-o"
version of "Black & Huge".
In the live portions, we're treated to many of the same things that we
see in the "Live From Antarctica" video: Melvin Fleebish comes out and
gets decapitated during "World O Filth", they bring out a big body and
pull its guts out during "Sexecutioner", they parade around with and fuck
dead animals during "Slutman City", they fight the Redneck and the Bad
Biker Bitch during "Dead Dog/Bone Meal/Ollie North", a pregnant Bitch
comes back out during "Captain Crunch" and they rip the baby out of her
belly and smack it around, and finally of course the show ends with the
two Techno Destructos facing off against GWAR. The interview segments come
from the classic 1989 MTV Week In Rock feature from the New Music Seminar,
from Dr. Gruesome's, and from a cable access TV show. Also worth
mentioning: the version of "King Queen" they perform is significantly
different than the "Scumdogs of the Universe" version, with completely
different lyrics and a very different song structure.
1. Americanized 10. Ollie North
2. Vlad the Impaler 11. Time for Death
3. As Pure as the Arctic Snow 12. King Queen (early version
4. World O Filth) 13. Horror of Yig
5. Sexecutioner 14. Captain Crunch
6. Cool Place to Park 15. Death Pod
7. Slutman City 16. Techno Song
8. I'm in Love with a Dead Dog 17. U Ain't Shit
9. Bone Meal 18. Black & Huge
==========================================================================
LIVE FROM ANTARCTICA
==========================================================================
- Fotodisk video PAL (1990)
UK catalogue number LFV 117 684117-0
German catalogue number 84-27167
Japanese laser disk, US NTSC VHS, catalog number is 38194-3
Finally, we can now witness a GWAR concert in our own homes. This video
runs about an hour and contains a lot of songs from the Hell-O' album.
Some of the highlights of the video are: We get to see the Redneck From
Hell, Slash, the Bitch, and of course good ole' Melvin Squemish get
sliced-n-diced. You can see Techno Destructo face GWAR in the ultimate
main event. But wait that's not all, also included is a semi-video of Sick
Of You. Oh, and how could I forget the classic: Oderus jerking off into
the audience...
1. Horror of Yig 9. I'm in love (with a dead dog)
2. Black and Huge 10. Salaminizer
3. Years Without Light 11. Sexecutioner
4. World O' Filth 12. Sick of You
5. Americanized 13. Techno Song
6. Maggots 14. U Ain't Shit
7. Love Surgery 15. Cool Place To Park
8. Je M' Appelle J. Cousteau
==========================================================================
ALL THE SEX
==========================================================================
Released in 1991 through the Slave Pit, these eventually made up the
"Tour de Scum" (see below) offering that Metal Blade released.
1. Salaminizer 5. Sexecutioner
2. Black and Huge (video porno?) 6. Morality Squad
3. Horror of Yig 7. GWAR theme
4. Have You seen Me 8. Cool place to Park
==========================================================================
TWICE THE VIOLENCE
==========================================================================
Released in 1991 through the Slave Pit, these eventually made up the
"Tour de Scum" (see below) offering that Metal Blade released. At least
one song, "Poor Ole Tom", was only available on these.
1. Crack in the Egg 5. Sick of You
2. Love Surgery 6. Slaughterama
3. Poor Ole Tom (cool video) 7. Gor-Gor
4. Maggots
==========================================================================
RETURN OF TECHNO DESTRUCTO
==========================================================================
The 1991 version: Defeated by GWAR and wiped of his memory, Techno
Destructo is stripped of his arm and working as a cab driver. But when
three annoying groupie chicks ask him to drive them to a GWAR show, his
memory is triggered. He drives them to a dump and after one of them runs
him over with his cab and tries to kill him, he strangles her, and then
discovers his power arm in the trunk. His memory now reawakened, he
attempts to contact Cardinal Syn to join him to battle GWAR. But Syn sends
his nuns to fight Techno, and then joins the battle himself, leaving a
defeated Techno in a bloody heap. Background music includes "Hell-o!"
versions of "Rock N Roll Party Town" and "World O Filth", and the "Live
From Antarctica" version of "Techno Song".
The 1996 version: See below.
==========================================================================
PHALLUS IN WONDERLAND
==========================================================================
- Music For Nations video (1992)
Catalogue number VFN 5
- Metal Blade video (1992?)
Catalogue number 38285-3
The Cuttlefish of Cthulu has been captured! Put on trial, under the
interrogation of Edna P. Granbo, the Cuttlefish is found guilty of
impersonating a human penis. The punishment is death - for GWAR! The
morality squad is formed to destroy GWAR. What will happen? Will GWAR
survive? Will Oderus and the Cuttlefish reunite? Watch this and find
out... A great high-quality movie!
1. Crack in the Egg 4. The Morality Squad
2. Have You Seen Me 5. Gor-Gor
3. The Road Behind 6. Ham on the Bone
==========================================================================
TOUR DE SCUM
==========================================================================
- Metal Blade Video (1992)
Catalogue number 38332-3
Released in 1992, this is the second installment in a hopefully long line
of video concerts by GWAR. This one is from the "Scumdogs of the Universe"
tour, hence the title. See all the new toys and gadgets that GWAR invented
to kill more innocent people. This one also runs about an hour. It is a
polished version of "All the Sex" and "Twice the Violence" (see above),
with some stuff omitted.
1. Salaminizer 7. Sexecutioner
2. Crack in the Egg 8. Morality Squad
3. Love Surgery 9. GWAR Theme
4. Maggots 10. Slaughterama
5. Horror of Yig 11. Gor-Gor
6. Have You Seen Me
==========================================================================
SKULHEDFACE
==========================================================================
As this one opens, GWAR is holding a telethon on Slave Pit TV to harvest
souls for the World Maggot, so that they can wake it from its slumber at
the earth's core and ride it back to the stars, escaping this mudball
planet once and for all. Meanwhile, we are introduced to GLOMCO, the
multinational conglomerate that controls every facet of the entertainment
industry except for GWAR. They try to bribe Sleazy to make GWAR sell out
into a safe and marketable franchise, but when Sleazy says no, a battle
ensues between GWAR and GLOMCO's thugs. During the battle, their leader,
Boss Glom, escapes and is revealed to be Skulhedface, an alien sent to
this planet by Cardinal Syn to harvest the Jizmogloben of the world and
prepare it for invasion. Skulhed plans to betray Syn and use the powerful
Jizmogloben of GWAR to overthrow him. Skulhed's assistant Flopsy, the
Cunt-Faced Boy, seduces Beefcake and uses him to lure the rest of GWAR to
his lair, where he is waiting with the Flesh Colum to beat them into
submission. After GWAR's defeat, Skulhed harvests their Jizmogloben and
turns GWAR into cute little babies. But they trick him into giving the
Jizmogloben back and rape him to death. Meanwhile, the world maggot
awakens and flies off into the stars, leaving GWAR still marooned on
earth.
This film didn't turn out quite as well as "Phallus In Wonderland", but
is still entertaining. Unfortunately there are no music videos in this
one, with the songs from "This Toilet Earth" only being used as background
music. Strangely enough, the video for "Jack The World" that was filmed on
the set of "Skulhedface" is not included, either.
The year of release was 1994, through Metal Blade video.
==========================================================================
TVD [TELEVISION DOCUMENTARY]
==========================================================================
TVD has only been released through Slave Pit. It is a compilation of TV
appearances from the "Scumdogs" and "AMBD" era, including a couple of
British shows, a Morton Downey Jr. type talk show, the Joan Rivers show, a
cable access sports call-in show, a Canadian TV feature debating their
artistic merits, and more MTV news clips.
Year of release was 1994.
==========================================================================
THE RETURN OF TECHNO DESTRUCTO
==========================================================================
This video (1996, Slave Pit release only) was made by Hunter Jackson and
tell the story of how he tried to kill GWAR, then joined them, etc. Starts
with Hunter Jackson introducing himself as Techno Destructo, opening
credits, a Techno vs. Angelina fight, the "GWAR must be Destroyed" film
(see above). Then "GWAR Theme" (live 1988), "Techno Song" (live 1989), "U
Ain't Shit" (live 1989), "Cool Place to Park" (live 1989), "Years Without
Light" (AMBD "Slave Revolt" tour 1992), "Gilded Lily" (live 1992), "Horror
of Yig" (live 1992), "Voodoo Summoning" (live 1992), "Captain Crunch"
(live 1992), "Techno Song" (live 1992), "Gor-Gor" (live 1992), the 1991
"Return of Techno Destructo" film and the 1995 "Surf of Syn" video.
==========================================================================
RENDEZVOUS WITH RAGNAROK
==========================================================================
A 1997 Slave Pit release, 60 minutes long. GWAR members are interviewed
in between the songs to explain the story. Unfortunately the music that
goes with the live performances is from the album, not from the actual
performances. It is interesting that you get to see Sleazy do "Think You
Outta Know this" (not performed during the "Ragnarok" tour but done on the
Halloween tour after that).
The story: "When gray aliens crash the party & artificially inseminate
Slymenstra Hymen with Oderus' sperm, the resulting hybrid mutant space
child attracts the attention of GWAR's ancient enemy, the giant robot
Cardinal Syn and his holy warriors from outer space! Join Slymenstra
Hymen, BalSac the Jaws of Death, Flattus Maximus, the Sexecutioner &
friends as they become the unlikely champions of Earth, battling
intergalactic invaders as the fate of our planet hangs in the balance!"
1. Saddam a Go-Go (video) 7. Knife In Yer Guts
2. Ragnarok 8. Fire In The Loins
3. Sondercommando 9. S.F.W.
4. Whargoul 10. Crush Kill Destroy
5. Meat Sandwich (video) 11. Surf of Syn (video)
6. Think You Outta Know This
==========================================================================
MISCELLANEOUS VIDEO APPEARANCES
==========================================================================
COMPILATIONS:
SHIMMY DISC VIDEO COMPILATION
This is a compilation, probably released in 1988, with 1987/1988 material
from GWAR ("Time for Death" and "GWAR Theme"). The tape also features
Bongwater, Dogbowl, Michael Cudahay, Shockabilly, King Missile,
Spongehead, B.A.L.L., Galaxie 500, Velvet Monkies and When People Were
Shorter. Total time is 90m.
THE 12 COMMANDMENTS
A 12 song compilation (1995, Metal Blade Video) of Metal Blade artists,
including GWAR's "Saddam A Go-Go" video.
HARD & HEAVY VOLUME 2
Video magazine (1989, MPI Video) with an early feature on GWAR. "Hell-o!"
version of GWAR theme is used as background music.
METALHEAD VOLUME 1
Another video magazine (1990, Good Times Video) with a feature on GWAR
that has live excerpts from "Americanized" and an unmasked Mike Bishop
with the memorable quote: "GWAR is God. And there is no escape from God!"
METALHEAD VOLUME 4
GWAR does a rather stupid interview with Mom & Pop MetalHead (1991, BMG
Video).
METALHEAD VOLUME ?
GWAR appeared in another one of these videos with the "Feed Your Sister
To GWAR" contest clip that re-appeared in the TVD compilation. Volume
number uncertain.
MOVIES:
EMPIRE RECORDS
This movie is about a record store. One of the employees (Mark, who wants
to be a rock star) one day was watching a GWAR Video and eating brownies
spiked with drugs (probably just sugar, since he was hyperactive) and
suddenly, Oderus appears and invites mark to join GWAR (quote:
"Maaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrk you love GWAR why don't you join the band!") Oderus
just loves Mark's guitar playing, but tells Mark that he must die. He is
fed to the world maggot. Oderus' dick is blotted out, and the Oderus
voice-over isn't even Brockie! Note that they show the "This Toilet Earth"
costumes, then switch to the "Ragnarok" costumes. Also it shows Oderus
singing and that its being dubbed over with silence.
HARDWARE
Movie that briefly shows an excerpt from the "Black & Huge" video on a TV
(but the music playing was Ministry's "Stigmata").
MYSTERY DATE
GWAR makes an appearance in this dorky comedy when the hero and his
girlfriend accidentally duck into a club where GWAR happens to be playing.
SFW (SO FUCKING WHAT)
GWAR makes an appearance in this movie with a video for their song "SFW"
that is on MTV. The video is mostly made up of clips from "The Road
Behind" and "Phallus In Wonderland". The movie was released in 1995, GWAR
appears after the end credits and the song "SFW" was written for the
soundtrack. It was later nominated for a Grammy where it went against,
among others, Metallica. They lost. The song is played live regularly.
OTHER STUFF:
GWAR also appeared in a short-lived ABC sitcom called "Baby Talk",
starring George Clooney. The plot was that Clooney had to make up a love
song for "a band". It takes all the time, and at the end it shows a GWAR
concert (a human seems to get sacrificed to the human meat grinder) and
suddenly GWAR stop doing their song, and plays the love song (not "The
Road Behind").
5.4 The lyrics
In an effort to make the FUQ II leaner (though not meaner), all known
GWAR and X-Cops lyrics (as well as those of Köszönöm and other related
outfits, as far as they could be transcribed) have found a new and
permanent home on the Web. This new and permanent housing can be found at
http://members.tripod.com/~flattus/lyrics.html.
5.5 GWAR gigs
Similarly, the GWAR gig list has found a foster home page, which can be
found on the Web at http://members.tripod.com/~flattus/giglist.html.
5.6 GWAR and video games
GWAR have appeared in the Beavis and Butthead video game (Super Nintendo,
Sega Megadrive and PC CD ROM formats). The object of this game is to
collect pieces of tickets to go to a GWAR show. On the last level, you
walk on stage and see GWAR performing a video game version of "Jack the
World". The artwork appears to have been done by Chuck Varga and the music
in the game is by the Scumdogs themselves, too.
GWAR have also designed a level for ID Software's "Doom II", but it's
only in the shareware version.
Although this sounds like a joke (and might indeed be), GWAR have also
done a game for Microsoft. It's called "Hackman", and is a version of
"Hangman" where limbs get chopped off if you can't guess the right letters
of a word.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
VI - VARIOUS BITS'N'BOBS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
6.0 From the grapevine...
This section of the FUQ is intended to include news snippets of a time-
sensitive nature, as well as various other rumors and stuff that simply
didn't fit anywhere else in this FUQ. If you have your own stuff to add,
or if you can confirm or dispel any of the below things, see above
somewhere for info on how to get it here...
***
Current info on the upcoming Halloween tour:
22 Oct Avalon, Boston MA
25 Oct Webster Theatre, Hartford CT
26 Oct Chance, Poughkeepsie NY
28 Oct First Avenue, Minneapolis MN
29 Oct Mississippi Nights, St. Louis MO
30 Oct United Center, Chicago IL
31 Oct Agora Theater, Cleveland OH
01 Nov Harpo's, Detroit MI
***
Don "Sleazy P. Martini" Drakulick and Chuck "Sexecutioner" Varga have
left the *live* part of GWAR, and because Don turned seriously Christian
(he married a really Christian wife) he might leave soon (5 sep 1997).
***
Dave Brockie is working on a book. It'll be called "Warghoul", based on
the character in one of the songs on the album "Ragnarok" (24 feb 1997).
The book *will* happen, but it is to be doubted whether anyone will want
to read it (Brockie quote). It'll be difficult, non-chronoligical and very
literary. He's talking to Henry Rollins to get it published. He's done
about 150 pages (in longhand) but wants it to be 300-400 pages long. It'll
also have illustrations. He hopes to have copies with him during the next
album tour (5 sep 1997).
***
Death Piggy was planning a 'reunion CD' with the three singles and
unreleased extra tracks in the fall of 1996. This is on hold for the
moment, as Dave is now concentrating on stuff involving "Carnival of
Chaos". BalSac confirmed that they were thinking of releasing it, and said
"maybe next year." (24 apr 1997).
***
GWAR are also working on a 'lounge' band off-shoot (27 sep 1996).
***
Sean Sumner (ex-GWAR, ex-Death Piggy) hung himself in Boston in September
1996 (27 Dec 1996).
***
This year's Halloween tour might have an extended line-up, including The
Misfits, The Cramps and, possibly, the Insane Clown Posse (3 Aug 1997).
***
Although it is uncertain what it'll be used for, GWAR recently did a
photo shoot on top of the Empire State Building (3 Aug 1997).
***
Rumors abound around GWAR and their contract with Metal Blade. They
intend to release one more studio album (not a live album, as was claimed
by some), and will then shop for a deal. Metal Blade will not be excluded
from this deal, according to Brockie. He mentions that the album after the
next one may be a live one (5 Sep 1997).
***
Mike Derks and Danyelle Stampe have done something acoustic for a radio
station (13 Sep 1997).
***
Chuck Varga has made a large lizard type of thing, apparently for use in
a New York restaurant (6 sep 1997).
***
There was a tour accident during the "Carnival of Chaos" tour when a
truck carrying GWAR's gear and a truck carrying GWAR's crap collided. One
of the drivers had fallen asleep. The driver was the only casualty (3 Aug
1997).
***
Casey Orr did not leave GWAR (5 Sep 1997).
***
David Brockie was not found dead in a German hotel (14 Sep 1997).
***
Mike Derks denied rumors of him leaving GWAR after the current tour (5
Sep 1997).
***
Mike Dunn, X-Cops drummer, is currently doing Music School in Texas (5
Sep 1997).
***
Bob Gorman is compiling a complete list of GWAR gig dates. Keep your eyes
peeled on B.J. Felix' site (5 Sep 1997).
6.1 Death Piggy / RAWG / X-Cops
6.1a Death Piggy
Basically, Death Piggy was GWAR before the costumes. They were a small-
time punk band in the Richmond area that started in 1982, flourished
briefly and were then fully absorbed by GWAR in 1986. They put out a few
'45s and had a small yet loyal following.
Dave Brockie: lead vocals, bass
Russ Bahorsky: guitar
Sean Sumner: drums
Steve Douglas: guitar (replaced Russ after the "Death Rules the Fairway"
single)
The Death Piggy discography is as follows (all released on the "Slug
Trail" label):
"Love War" (1983), 7" (track listing probably "G.O.D. Spells God",
"Splatter Flick", "Eat The People", "We Love You Fat Man", "Nympho",
"Bathtub in Space", "No Prob, Dude!", "Mangoes & Goats").
"R45" (1985), 7".
"Death Rules The Fairway" (1986), double 7" (track listing disc 1
"Welcome", "Boner", "Showbiz", "Dinner In The Morning", "Whipping Round
The Bay" (with Steve Douglas playing an 18-string guitar), "Ceramic Butt",
disc 2 "Poet", "Ground B Sound", "Joey Died Today", "Minute 2 Live"). The
second disc was also sold separately, through the Slave Pit, after
"Scumdogs" was released.
Excerpts from an interview about Death Piggy with Dave Brockie might
prove useful here:
Q: Chuck mentioned that Death Piggy used to bring out a paper mache
character called Uncle Knobby and kill him in really brutal ways. Care to
elaborate on this?
A: During a big show with Wendy O. Williams, we brought out a dummy made
out
of papier mache, cloth and glue. It was "Uncle Knobby", a cripple
clutching a Big Gulp, devoid of legs and propped up on a wheeled cart. He
had a song too...and while we did the song ( C'mon Uncle Knobby, lets peel
back your brain, lots of fun, he's got a gun. Now I know you are insane.)
I would remove his brain while he drooled. Later he appeared in a GWAR
show were he had a 10-ton jet engine dropped on him. That was one of the
greatest triumphs of our lives.
Q: Were there any other strange stage theatrics?
A: Lots. One show we set up our living room on stage and pretended the
show
was a practice. People would "Come over" bringing beer and watching TV. We
had a "horn section" featuring transvestites and a trombone. We mock hung
someone and he nearly died. We gave out "Chuice" ( chew and juice) and
sponsored a mayo bar. We threw banana peels into the slam circle and
distributed pies and paper airplanes to thew crowd. Then we started
dressing up like GWAR.
Q: I understand that there were Death Piggy comics that you did, possibly
including Wharghoul. What were some of the subjects of the stories of
these comics?
A: I used to put out a comic called "Mr. Donut" and produced 4 issues. It
featured mine and others' work, including early work from current GWAR
members Hunter Jackson and Scott Krahl. Whargoul is an illustrated novel I
am currently working on about the exploits of the character introduced on
the "Ragnarok" album. Its genre could be called Horror/War historical
fiction. My old comics were about everything from "The Hook" (big hook
that came out of nowhere after you lost your keys) to "Kingy" and "Prince
Eddie" (bizarre inbred behavior of twisted royal family) to "Homo Pyle"
(gay ilitary sex on Iwo Jima). Maybe one day I'll get around to
publishing them.
Q: Any philosophical ramblings about the deeper ramifications of Death
Piggy
on the collective unconcious of mankind and it's social repercussions?
A: Smile or die.
(End of interview)
6.1b RAWG
What is RAWG? You might have gone to see GWAR in a small club one day
only to find a bunch of - people - instead! What!? You have to watch mere
mortals instead of the great Gods of GWAR? Fear not fans...RAWG is GWAR
(spell it backwards). See, sometimes GWAR has to disguise themselves as
human beings so they can get into small clubs. Why? Well there's no room
to kill and destroy on a little stage. So do they just come out as
themselves and sing? No. They still put on a great show! And here's some
more names for you to remember:
Vincent Bologlioni as lead singer
Morris Lester strummin' the bass
Joseph (Joe) Scrappinetti on lead guitar
G-Credit playing the rhythm guitar (also see the MC Rhyhtmless project,
above)
David Muselini poundin' the drums
With manager Manny Cotti and soundman Lou Zania
But just because there's no blood doesn't mean there's no theatrics. The
drummer often pours buckets of water on his head while Vincent dances
around and wraps himself in tape. So if you have a chance to see RAWG,
then do it! It's amazing hearing/seeing the voice of Oderus come out of a
normal (?) person. Sometimes they claim to be GWAR in human disguise,
other times they say they're the "Ultimate GWAR Tribute Band."
6.1c X-COPS
One more variation of GWAR is X-Cops. On a few occasions GWAR has dressed
up as policemen and performed as their own opening band. This was during
the "Toilet" tour, in 1994. In the mean time, X-Cops have released their
album called "You Have the Right to Remain Silent" and have toured the
club circuit in Europe. The 7" EP supposedly was their swansong effort,
but BalSac has claimed that there should be another X-Cops album in 1998.
These are the members of X-Cops (for more info, see above somewhere)...
Cobb Knobbler (bass and occasional vocals) - Bay Area gay aryan, thrown
off the force for sucking another man's penis.
Louis Scrapinetti (guitar) - Newark, New Jersey.
Biff Buff (vocals and occasional drums) - thrown off the force because he
liked doughnuts too much.
Zypygski (occasional vocals) - mutilated in a methamphetamine lab raid
gone wrong. It was a Masonic conspiracy because he knew too much. The
speed blew up in his face. Since then he only makes inarticulate sounds
and wears a leather zipper mask.
Tubb Tucker (vocals) - the meanest motherfucker of all, thrown off the
force because he beat up the mayor and raped his dog er...uh...daughter.
Al DePantsia (guitar).
Billy Club (drums).
Philip McRevis - keyboards/effects.
6.2 Slave Pit Inc.
Slave Pit is the organization (made up of GWAR and all their slaves) that
is responsible for many things around the band, including merchandising.
If you have ever seen a GWAR concert then you know it must cost a lot to
put on that type of event - therefore their profit margin cannot be that
great. One way we as fans can help is to purchase GWAR related items from
Slave Pit. This money goes to make better shows which in turn generates
more fans which will make more money for better shows that will generate
more fans which will...well, you get the point. A quote from the Slave Pit
catalog:
"Remember any money you send to the Slave Pit goes directly to the
slaves that create GWAR for you and help them make more of the sick
stuff that you crave! So help support GWAR!"
To receive the Slave Pit catalog, send a SASE (US$ 0.55) to the address
below. Send IRCs if you're from outside the States.
Slave Pit Inc.
P.O. Box 5225
Richmond, VA 23220
United States of America
Slave Pit can also be reached via the Internet at gw...@richmond.infi.net.
6.3a GWAR-related URLs
Steve Slack (obno...@erols.com) maintains a complete list GWAR and GWAR-
related Web sites. You can email him to ask him to send it to you, or you
can check it out at http://members.tripod.com/~flattus/linxlist.html.
6.3b The GWAR Internet Mailing List
Around the end of November 1996, GWAR member BalSac the Jaws of Death
took over and utterly revamped the GWAR Internet thing. If you send a
message to gw...@richmond.infi.net and write "I want to be a Cyber Slave!"
you'll automatically receive information and miscellaneous abuse at a
regular basis.
There are a few rules: 1) If you are a Cyber Slace already and write for
specific information, precede your subject line by a "$" sign; 2) Don't
*ever* ask about tour dates; 3) Don't ask stuff that has been covered on
alt.music.gwar already; and 4) NEVER PISS BALSAC OFF!
6.3c GWAR on IRC
Yes, there is an IRC channel where you can meet GWAR fans - if usually
not actual members of the band. It's #gwar. Don't get pissed if everyone
has OP status and you don't; its a regular thing, you gain their trust and
then you get OP status. In case of it being "invite only" or "bad key",
join #slave-pit. They use dream.espar.net or dragon.esper.net (port 5555).
Mike "BalSac" Derks sometimes joins there.
There is some controversion going on about which channel would be the
best to use, involving perma-bans and whatever. So EfNet can be used too.
6.3d GWAR on Usenet News
In case you hadn't found out yet, the official GWAR Newsgroup, to which
especially BalSac mails regularly, is alt.music.gwar.
6.4 Have You Seen Me?
This paragraph lists a number of small things that you may or may not
have seen in any of the GWAR videos, during stage shows or generally any
other GWAR occurrence anywhere. Just to show you that there's more to GWAR
than at first meets the eye. It also lists small facts and stuff (i.e.
trivia) that you might not know.
-- HELL-O ERA, AND BEFORE ------------------------------------------------
"Rock'n'Roll Party Town" was GWAR's first song.
The Sexecutioner mask was the first full head mask. Dave loved it so he
asked Chuck Varga to help do him one for Oderus. Originally Oderus just
had some sort of weird head gear almost like a helmet.
The first blood-spew prop was played by Don Drakulich; he played a fan
getting his arm ripped off.
Don's first GWAR prop he made was a staff for Cardinal Syn.
"Hell-O" was literally made on a weekend and was rushed.
If you listen really closely you can hear traffic on "Hell-O" (at which
exact instances, please?).
There are a shitload of really obscure credits at the end of the "GWAR
Must be Destroyed" video. Of those that have not yet been included in the
regular bio section, some of the people were...Adam Green (soundman) and
Charles Jesky (neon designer).
-- SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE ERA ------------------------------------------
There seems to be a distinct connection between GWAR and NWA (Niggas With
Attitude). Take a listen to "The Salaminizer" on "Scumdogs of the
Universe" and NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta" on "Straight Outta Compton" - notice
anything? GWAR has dealt with Priority Records, the label NWA was on!
-- AMERICA MUST BE DESTROYED ERA -----------------------------------------
"America Must be Destroyed" was recorded after Dewy Rowell (Flattus)
left, but before Pete Lee joined. Mike 'BalSac' Derks played all the
guitars (rhythm and lead), and two other guitarists played on the album
too: Tim Harris (of Kepone, the band Mike Bishops left GWAR to) played
lead on "America Must be Destroyed"; Lee Harris (from Jizmak's old band
Rosebud) played lead on "Crack in the Egg".
"Ham on the Bone" was actually written before "Scumdogs of the Universe",
and this old version was a lot slower.
Mike Scaccia (Ministry) was originally asked to be Flattus when Dewey was
kicked out of the band. He turned it down because Ministry was a full-time
gig, but he recommended his friend Pete Lee who was in Rigor Mortis with
Mike and Casey Orr.
The samples in the title song of "American Must Be Destroyed"): Some of
the samples come from The Last Poets, which was a group that kind of
predated rap with spoken word performances about black issues "the White
Man's got a god complex...". There was a sticker on the front of various
copies of AMBD that stated that some of the samples came from a couple of
their albums (samplings of Pudim m the original recording "This is
Madness", appearing courtesy of "Are You Experienced?"; sampling of Felipe
Luciana and David nelson of "The Last Poets" from the original recording
"Right On!" appearing courtesy of "The Last Poets Productions"). A lot of
the other ones came from CNN and news programs. Some other qoutes like "No
more than ten to twenty million killed, tops!" are from 'Dr. Strangelove
or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb' 1964 directed by
Stanley Kubrick, starring Peter Sellers, George C. Scott and others.
"Pussy Planet" was originally written as a duet for Slymenstra and
Beefcake. Slymenstra wrote the song, and she can be heard at some
instances in the song.
In the "Phallus In Wonderland" movie: During the song "The Road Behind"
there is some black & white footage of GWAR dancing around in a small room
(falling down, knocking down tables, etc..) On the wall of this room is
the logo of the "before they were GWAR" band Death Piggy - it's a picture
of a big pig's face.
Flattus was actually played by a different person than Dewey or Pete in
"Phallus in Wonderland". He was played by a friend of the band (and
sculptor), Jeff Rumaner, and was given only a very small part so nobody
would notice.
Brockie's personal favorite GWAR CD is "America Must be Destroyed".
Distortion Wells, pseudonym of the director of "Phallus in Wonderland",
was in fact the talented (Jackson quote) Bill Morrison. He took over about
halfway, when the first director (name unknown and thought not important)
quit. All the good bits are Morrison's doing.
-- THIS TOILET EARTH ERA -------------------------------------------------
Pop-Up-Poop: When "This Toilet Earth" was going to be released, GWAR
wanted the centerfold to be pop-up turd (like children's pop-up books).
But unfortunately the suits wouldn't go for it.
Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedies / Jello Biafra front man) plays the human
version of Skulhedface at the end of the video. Sebastian Bach from Skid
Row plays the metalhead rocker that has his Jizmoglobin sucked dry by
Skulhedface and his Homogenizer.
In 1995 GWAR was supposed to release a "Spoken Turd" album.
GWAR had a song called "Vinny" that was set to go on "This Toilet Earth",
but it was taken off along with "Private Pain of Techno Destructo" and
"Drop Drawers". There's also been a ballad-like song, "Scallop Boat". GWAR
claims to have two albums of stuff (spare songs that got dumped) like
this. "Drop Drawers" was also supposed to go on "Carnival of Chaos" but
was dropped once more. Most of these songs made it onto the "Slave Pit
singles" (see chapter 5).
Pete was shot in the butt and stomach by a carjacker after doing "This
Toilet Earth". He did the Skulhedface tour with a colostomy bag.
Roberts' personal favorite GWAR CD is "This Toilet Earth".
-- RAGNAROK ERA ----------------------------------------------------------
"Ragnarok" was tentatively titled "Mad at the Sun".
On the "Ragnarok" promotional poster, Matt Maguire stood in for Pete as
Pete was in Texas at the time of the shoot.
There is a promo tape for "Ragnarok" called "The World According to
GWAR". If you listen to the part where Oderus is explaning the logic of
"Ragnarok", the music playing in the background is "Don't Need a Man", the
song that would later make it onto the "Carnival of Chaos" album.
Howard Stern has been using the "Knife in Yer Guts" song as a theme song
(late 1996).
-- CARNIVAL OF CHAOS ERA -------------------------------------------------
GWAR appeared on a Jerry Springer show, together with The Mentors, on
January 31st 1997. Slymenstra later appeared on the show again (July
1997), together with her boyfriend.
At the beginning of "The Private Pain of Techno Destructo" there's a
segment taken from the Beethoven composition "The Barber of Seville". This
is popular for its use in Warner Bros. Cartoons.
Apart from the fact that "Don't Need a Man" had been written about 2
years prior to "Carnival of Chaos", is allegedly wasn't even intended to
be a GWAR song. Originally it was written with just BalSac on piano and
Slymenstra on vocals, nothing else.
In "Don't Need a Man", the piano and strings (even the upright bass) were
sequenced. It was recorded in GWAR's smelly little jam room (if you listen
very hard you can hear the phone ring in the middle of it (exact time
please?)) on an ADAT, using really shit spew encrusted mics. It gives it a
scratchy sort of sound (almost like it was recorded in the 40's). BalSac
produced the track, but didn't get credit on the album.
Under the CD in the "Carnival of Chaos" packaging is the touring version
of the Flesh Colum. Another version was used on the "Skulhedface" video.
The body-painted woman in the CD liner notes is indeed Slymenstra.
There are rumors going around that "Carnival" will be GWAR's last album.
Well, these are untrue as they are at least obliged to do one more album
according to their contract with Metal Blade. Metal Blade is rumored to
drop them after that one, though.
-- UNKNOWN ERA, OR GENERAL -----------------------------------------------
Information that allows me to put any of these facts into a specific era,
above, would be appreciated hugely.
Although there are rumors going around that GWAR was at one time banned
in dozens of States in the US, in fact they were only banned for a year
from appearing in North Carolina in account of them "disseminating
obscenities in front of minors". That was when Oderus got arrested.
GWAR must be fans of Bloom County/Outland comic strip: Ever notice the
stuffed animals of Opus on "Live From Antarctica"? What about the Oderus'
reference to Unsullied Pantaloons?
Jim Rose did some set construction on the GWAR movies.
Dave Brockie puts a lot of historical references in his lyrics, which may
come from his educational background. He has a bachelor's in Fine Arts in
printing and painting and his minor was art history.
X-Cops was just the first of many planned GWAR offshoots. Satan's Skins
(SS) may have a G.G. Allin-esque lead singer named Toe E. Namel...who
blows himself up every night on stage.
Dave is still a Canadian citizen and doesn't have a driver's license. He
was threatened to be deported during the infamous Charlotte, NC lawsuit...
that last bit is a rumor though. Just like in "Phallus in Wonderland...the
real judge's name was the Honorable Judge Dick E. Boner! Midgets were on
trial in the courthouse on the same day as GWAR.
Oderus was the spokesman for Circuit City when they opened their video
games section.
Mike Bishop doesn't really like to talk about GWAR. He calls them 'the
g-word'. He does this not out of spite, but because he is tired of always
being associated with GWAR. There is no hostility, as a matter of fact
Kepone practices next door to the Slave Pit.
Mike Derks and Brad Roberts have a side project band called Köszönöm. In
1994 they recorded a demo tape (see chapter 5).
The Next Step: Possibly interactive software.
-- X-COPS RELATED --------------------------------------------------------
It's Matt Maguire who says "Wipe that fucking smile off yer face Holmes"
at the end of "You Fucked Up".
X-Cops are known to have written/played at least one song besides the
stuff on their album and the 7" single: "Nurture my Pig".
6.4a The Joan Rivers Interview
Like various other bits of this FUQ, the transcription of the Joan Rivers
Show has also been moved onto a permanent location on the Web. It can be
found at http://members.tripod.com/~flattus/rivers.html.
6.5 Thanks
Thanks to the following people for helping make this FUQ the way it is
now. First and foremost to the original creator, Brian "Gwarrior" Carter
(who was in his turn indebted to Brian Carter, Vince Laviano, Steven
Redant and Jason). Thanks also to whoever it was that made the Jaws of
Death ASCII art, as well as the person who bothered sending it to me.
Further thanks go to Chris Balcunas, Bob (the GWAR Forum), Cyberslave
Brian, Diana, Daniel Eriksson, John "Reverend" Felix (also for FUQ
homepage support), Brian F. Gaffney, Gnome, Claude Harvey, Jessica
'Hymen', John Lacki, Vince Laviano, Tim Link (for the official FUQ Web
site), Christian McClain, B. McMikey, "Ragrot", Ted Samsel, Shoggoth,
Steve Slack (for the GWAR Link List) and "Slayer", who all helped me,
either personally or via alt.music.gwar, to get the facts in this
revisited FUQ straight and expanded. Special thanks to the GWAR
loremeister himself, Scumdog.
Last, but somehow eerily importantly, thanks ought to go to the people in
and around GWAR (and especially Internet guru Mike 'BalSac' Derks and Dave
Brockie), who make the music and do the things that are somehow worth
anthologizing!
6.6 Version History
2.0 - 25 Sep 1996
- The first installment of the re-done FUQ, now FUQ II!
2.0b - 03 Oct 1996
- Plenty of stuff in the person descriptions changed and corrected
- Rumors and miscellaneous spottings refined and added
- "Ragnarok" and X-Cops lyrics added
2.0c - 29 Oct 1996
- 'Enemies of GWAR' section revised and extended (special thanks to
Chris McClain)
- Video section of the discography extended (thanks again to Chris)
- GWAR email address corrected
- Updated version of the GWAR Linx thang
- GWAR IRC channel details added
- Japanese "Scumdogs of the Universe" version info added
2.0d - 31 Dec 1996
- Punctuation improved, typos removed, Balsac now BalSac
- "Ollie North Song" reverse start lyrics added
- Michael Derks' details enhanced, several others too (Sean, Russ,
others).
- Video section more detailed and added to
- Shitload of gig dates added
- Man's Ruin address added
- GWAR Internet mailing list info added
2.0e - 01 Mar 1997
- IRC channel specs and GWAR Internet Mailing List info updated
- Some stuff moved from 'current rumors/news' (6.0) to 'various bits'
(6.4); new 'various bits' added (for example more "AMDB" sample
info)
- "Carnival of Chaos" information added
- New tour dates added (1st leg of "Carnival of Chaos" US tour)
- X-Cops info altered slightly
- GWAR links list (updated), Joan Rivers interview transcription,
GWAR gig list and lyrics (with X-Cops 7" and "Carnival of Chaos"
lyrics added!) moved onto a permanent site on the Web in an effort
to reduce the size of this document. URL links have replaced them.
Thanks to B.J. Felix for providing Web space
- Early GWAR characters info vastly improved, we finally have all the
drummers right, courtesy of data goat BalSac (cheers!)
- A few typos removed
2.0f - 09 May 1997
- "Carnival of Chaos" song titles corrected
- Lyrics Web pages overhauled and lots added (by B.J. Felix)
- Info on the Slave Pit singles added
- 'Have You Seen Me' (paragraph 6.4) sorted into approximate
chronology
- Brad Roberts and Lisa Harrelson entries extended
- 'GWAR's Enemies' (paragraph 3.1) sorted alphabetically, entries
added (Hhiiimmmmm, Tarantulina, Fudgies, Goatie, Log Suckoff,
Stubbo)
- Flesh Colum now spelled correctly (I hope)
- "Carnival of Chaos" tour dates revised and corrected, 2nd US leg
dates added
- "Shimmy Disc Video Compilation" and "Rawgwar" video info added
(thanks Chris and B.J. Felix!)
- Superfluous paragraph, 'GWAR on Usenet News', added
2.0g - 03 Aug 1997
- Document re-edited to be 75 columns wide (for more universal
viewing)
- A few typos and grammar errors corrected
- Bios enhanced (Brockie, Anderson, Stampe)
- Reemcob description made more correct
- "Empire Records" film description improved
- NWA link ("Scumdogs of the Universe" era tidbits) enhanced
- Slymenstra's "Jerry Springer Show" appearance added
- Info on "S.F.W." (promo) CD single improved
- "Rendezvous with Ragnarok" video info added
2.0h - 14 Sep 1997
- There were some typos left <gasp>
- Miscellaneous news items added, lots of gossip discarded
- Album compilations with GWAR on them added
- Lots of old GWAR trivia and bio info added
- Video games section enhanced
- Some shit about *really* old GWAR stuff added (this includes
totally new bio entries as well)
- I've got another job now, so my own bio was changed a bit, too :-)
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| Richard Karsmakers cro...@worldaccess.nl |
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C.R.I.M.E. Development; "Twilight World" Magazine; WWW-MMM
"ST NEWS" ST/TT/Falcon disk magazine; "Ultimate Virus Killer"
Gwar FUQ & Atari ST Emulation FAQ maintainer
P.O. Box 67, 3500 AB, Utrecht, Netherlands
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