land rights for gay whales

[the land surfer]

land rights for gay whales
+++

u heard me psychic diary

+++
rickie lee jones
'chuck e's in love'
+++

loading drugs:

.
.
.

was smokin drugs and

drinkin bourbon

in a bike shop

at dusk and

i got offered a ride on th chopper

+++

ill handling bitch

and underpowered

last chopper i was on

would wheel spin in third gear

+++

but thanks man

+++

turns out
oen of th kuta lady;s

is pregnant again

explains why

my unborn child

was goin balistic

she;s beeen goin apeshit
for three weeks

tryin to get
pregnant

+++

i'm sorry it wasnt u kuta lady

+++
eminem
'lose yourself'
+++

one day she'll ask th witchdoctor

wot i can do about it

+++

trust me

i'm not a real doctor

+++

bourbon over here...

+++

i had to put up a bad show
on th chopper

i had been in th carpark

droppin slides

on th monoshock unicycle

when ya fuckup
ya gotta wear it

+++

fuckin girls bike

it;s got

two wheels

+++

not surfin in th city tonight

on one wheel

got some

black shit

to do tomorrow

+++

sharkie's missing

+++

is alright
i'm missing

from a whole bunch of other places too

+++

hate having fans

+++

not that they;re

vocal

cause they arent

unless i;m there

+++

i had to explain

th experimental uncicyle

th preload

on th spring

is to stop it topping out

nippleclamp was throwing me

fifteen times a night

+++
jimmy barnes
'i'd die to be with you tonight'
+++

not comin

liek i said

been to th shed and

got shit to do tomorrow

+++

caught him drinkin a rum

u supposed t be on zero

+++

make sure yr
magic is up to it man

feel
for th coppers

keeps me mostly

out of harms way

+++

had a little play last night

with th
california

attorney general;s dept

+++

cant help myself

+++

but i think th
dead hippies i keep seeing are

more their problem
than mine

+++

leastwise

that;s wot my psychic gift is tellin me

+++

go hard dear

+++

i always take th wrong door

+++

i know yr
sex offenders

dept but

i'm celibate

+++

least
since i sacked th last two girlfriends

+++

yr underperforming

sex has gone under
one day in two

i;m a cunt

yr both fired

+++
the kinks
'susannah's still alive'
+++

care factor jane

+++

i wrote in last nights psychic blog

is kuta lady
still cut at me

got a txt from her

after i posted
and still online

long time no see

here's th latest goss

+++

she's ok

+++

magic girl

u will

have kids

+++
?
'to45'
+++

lear jet 3 5 alpha - lyric

+++

dont bee in a hurry

+++

still see u with two girls

but u were gay and

did lots of chicks

so umm

+++

two daughters

+++
do re me
'man overboard'(remix)
+++

yeah but she's fuckin a guy now

+++

one of us

a cunt

+++

gotta respect him

he;s got stoens and

he generally shows him

+++

wot;s wrong with u ppl

i never liekd axel whitehead

till he showed his stones

on television

u got stones man

course

yr not a real man

ya dont drop into skatebowls

on a unicycle but

ya got stones

all th same

+++

i ride past th

other

bike shop

on one wheel

and show em

th beast we turned out

+++

hey tripper man

did ya see that

rebuilt alloy swingarm

i want that guy's number

after u;ve
fabricated

our new swingarm

ofr th nxt

mad extreme unicycle

we throw it at him

th detailer

+++

fuckin hell

+++

ya cant see where he

ripped out a whole section

and replaced it

+++

and didnt go overboard

not too perfect and

didnt take th nicks out

further along

+++

took a keen eye

to detect th

patch

+++
presidents of the united states
'feather plucking'
+++

i'm still covered in paint

from slidin down th barges

gray gray

has been int h game

twenty odd yrs

never seen anybody come down a barge

liek me

+++

first rule is

dont fall off th roof

second rule sis

when in doubt

refer to rule one

third rule is

it;s just gravity sickness

+++
the verve
'one day'
+++

one day

i'll slide on a roof and

it wont stop

+++

every roof u climb on

gives u at least

one moment

+++

never happened by th way

+++

a different personality
took off wi my body and

came hoem wi all these drugs and bourbon

+++

i ask no questions

+++

black is resourceful

+++

that terra cotta is still waiting

+++

slimy green as snot fuckin

death trap

+++

washind own

with wet green

with th bitey stuff on it already

killin it

just to make th sliude

that little bit more interesting

u dont slide

on th terra cotta's

+++

sorry diary

i got to talkin

with a roofer

at th shed

and th bits of me that arent
black or

fuckin tanned are

red and

blue

+++

chick at th bottlo says

i gotta upside down

well known shoe brand icon

on my belly

"why u starin at my abs ?"

+++

i think she lieks ya black

"so"

+++

it does look liek a nike symbol

+++
powderfinger
'stumblin''
+++

paulo th
double '

will fuckup yr programn

that hunts th psychic blog

"it picks up"

"that th two symbols are on one line"

"starting and ending"
"th string"

ok

"easy programming"

"dont worry about it"

+++

the stoners bible
electronic synchronicity edition

th data files

five and half yrs
in th writing

+++

"five yrs and eight months"

5 8

+++

"hooker with a penis"

fuck she's cute

+++

kuta lady told me off for

spendin too long
rubbin legs with jen';s

girlfriend

"jen didnt complain"
"came with me to pick up strawberry"

"the hot redhead"

we got nice friends paulie

+++

"we had a fuckin good time"

+++
train
'drops of jupiter'
+++

th bride

did not have a train

ok diary

+++

but she was gorgeous

+++

her mother was a model

a mould breaker

part aboriginal and

too gorgeous to ignore

+++

and very deserving
of th charmed symbol

tattooed on her butt

+++

i'm missing brother

gone walkabout

+++

her husband
complaining to me psychically

i'm not there
singin in th jam

+++

took us all
formth pub

at his wedding

to go and jam

at his house

on th way to

their wedding night

+++

we didnt have th heart

to jam

on his wedding night

but we did

go smoke some drugs wi him

at his house

on their way

+++

and didnt paris hilton's cousin
blow out

at th time

+++

fuck man

+++

told u

to travel in th wiotchdcotr;s car

ya ended up in it anyway

+++
james blunt
'you're beautiful'
+++

my car is not
used to anybody

gettin in it
with

allligator shoes

+++

and th unicycles
both screamed

at bein put in th

boot

+++

but u arent strawberry

i didnt remove

th 300 dead tinnies

in front of th back seat

+++

yr big tall
gay friend though

who's boyfriend
we both had to liseten to

went dui with ya in th car

+++

had to walk
to junior's

to catch up with th crowd

+++

i got no brake lights but

we're goin anyway

i aint stayin at th groom's house

+++

i dont thinkw e'r ehavian jam

all th muso;s are too pissed

just lookin for th nxt venue

+++
culture club
'karma chameleon'
+++

so we waited

and th gay guy

duly came back formt h watchhouse

are we all happy now ?

ok

get in th fuckin car

we're goin to kuta lady;s

to party

+++

i'll lay u money
we wont see a pig

no it;s th witchdoctor;s car

+++

didnt see one did ya

+++

although mark and i did

in th last drive

jsut him and me alone

but he was passing th other way and

we both
way past reacting to th cunt

+++

not huntin me mate

not concerned about ya

+++

i'm a man without conviction - lyric

+++

last time they had me cold

they forgot about me

useful gift

+++

i was at least

.15

+++

so over

he said

we'd need a driver

+++

parked me

he did

+++

see wal

th witchdoctor is

invisible

+++

yr sister in law is

pregnant again

+++
budgie
'nude disintegrating parachutist woman'
+++

i got some news for ya man

apart from that

yr nxt

+++

ya's didnt come

to th wedding

+++

u were thought of

+++

i thought i was well behaved

+++

said so

at kuta lady's

joshie pulled me aside

fuck that

said it in front of everyone

no i was

second worst

+++

mark pipped me

again

+++

bitch

+++

although no longer a

fat bitch

+++

respect

+++

while th kiddies panicked

we laughed

as ya do

+++

mr hilton
u arte a blowout queen

havin said that
we like ya man

+++

took ya past th coppers and

to a nicer space

+++

i hope yr friend

is feelin better

+++
blue oyster cult
'veteran of the psychic wars'
+++

kuta lady is talkin to me again

she had a dig at me

about drownin indonesians

psychically

and not providing

local rain

+++

nearly got rained off today

did

yesterday

+++

litle brother says

th news said

a cyclone and maybe

as far south as

frazer island

i seen dead hippies

worried about gympie

+++

she floods so easy and

+++

we had enough rain
to get th ground

wet

+++

i'm monitoring
psychically but

got an hour and a half left and

black still

trollin th porn sites

tonight

this session ends

+++

i've used up all my weapons - lyric

+++

and my care factor is pretty low

+++

i got that

indonesia

travel warning

seven days

before

jakarta

went under water

we're doin ok

+++

time for a bourbon paulo

.
.
.

+++

dolphinjuice
is a kack

+++
led zeppelin
'the rain song'
+++

opens with

grab yr beer and yr bongs

excellent

local television

keep it up

18 episodes isnt enough ok

+++

dunno about havin a kiwi on there though

maybe if he said he was australian and

came from new zealand

it would sit

better

+++

sit ubu sit

+++

dumb elephant

+++

i met this kangaroo

and he stole my bong

i asked him why

and he replied

i'm trippy th hydro kangaroo

+++

now he;s my dealer

+++

mostly excellent roo

+++

i'm back in th black and

got a fitty up besides

it's time man

to do some

pre paid dope

+++

liek to twist my dealers and

pay in front

fr somethin i'll have nxt week

+++

i have t make up

for th times

i was behind

+++

trippy
is pretty easy to get along with

+++

watch th big tail though

keep yr tab small

me ?

i'm his minder

+++

my dealer's
call me

when th shit hits th fan

+++

seventeen yrs

as a minder on th showground

+++

th black cunt with

muscles

+++
jewel
'jesus loves you'
+++

th black cunt does not love u

+++

mid fourties
refused to grow up

still droppin into skatebowls

but on a

man's bike

+++

i did my bit

sellin trippy's

magical skills

+++

huge fitty

+++

more liek a quarter

+++

i dont weigh

ever

i dont count small change

ever

even when
small change

is all i have

+++

my shop keeper
loves me

i'm th only person

who walks in th door

and selects

a different brand of smokes

near every time

+++

they;re all cigarettes

+++

spent
six yrs

singin with buskers
i smoke every brand

+++

not tonight gracey

+++
james blunt
'goodbye my lover'
+++

eight months now

+++

still bites

+++

th look in theo's eyes

last weekend

when i wouldnt stop

on th mad unicycle

and say gday and

sing a while

+++

not stopping theo

+++

stupid fuckin idiot i am

i had th time to

go back and read my diary

+++

unrequited
sex and drugs and
rock n roll is

boring

+++

when i was
fuckin th head witch

of th gold coast

and singin on street corners

it wasnt boring

+++

and hey

i've still got th posts

+++

mad bitch

she said t me

why would ya keep a diary

for that perfect day

for that one perfect day

+++

th day i fucked

both my girlfriends

on th same day

on my birthday

and they both knew

+++

and while i was

blogging

+++

i'm determined

noen of my ex girlfriends

will call me on this birthday

+++
the offspring
'staring at the sun'
+++

if u ring me on my birthday bitch

[rant deleted]

+++

u wanted a son

u fuckin keep im

+++

i'm doin other shit

+++

at 13
i was hotwirin th old lady;s car

to go skating

blood is thicker than

yr parent's

jesus fixation

+++
?
't140'
+++

cessna zulu one zulu clearance - lyric

+++
the kinks
'see my friend'
+++

th witchdoctor in his blood

will come out

and if it doesnt

th head inquisitor
in his blood will

trust me

+++

i'm not a real doctor

+++

for strong pain take

sixteen cones

.
.
.

+++
butthole surfers
'pepper'
+++

u grind it to fine man

half of it is goin down th stem

+++

and th yougn fell'as these days

mixin nic

with th green

they dont even
debnatur eit

burn under th edn of th smoke

to take th

bite out

ya cough less

and still have filler

+++

straight green

+++

thru a long hash pipe

made out of

th rbt plastic

bit

ya blow in

in th bag

when they check to see if

u ben drinking

+++

they make me blow in it

i smoek drugs out of it

fuckem

+++

never let th bastards grind ya down

+++
bob marley
'no woman no cry'
+++

i never ever

once

sang this properly

in th street

+++

wot really
makes me feel warm
is th amount of ppl who said

dont change

yr doin

all th wrong things but

it sounds right

+++

i hope so

six yrs background singing

learning my craft

+++

a good background singer
is psychic

knows wot yr gunna do
before u do

+++

has th range to

extend yr note

when you cant carry it

seamlessly

they arent looking

at th background singer

+++

dom and i
would

intertwine so much
in th vocals

we'd do that
jon english trick

and sound liek a whoel band

+++

as long as

a party of six chicks

will still stop

and dance for ten minutes

hey dom

+++

yr birthday party
stil twist my soul

mainly for wot u and i sang but

+++
nirvana
'come as you are'
+++

i arrived in biker jeans

and not much else

+++

oh
and carryin a unicycle

which dom took off on

+++

got one of his own

+++

ride th fuckin thing man

get rid of th belly and

those seven chicks

will become

twenty

ahh

+++

th boy cryin on th front stairs

i ahd to console

i aint gunna fuck im

+++

ten minutes later
it was a chick cryin on my shoulder

+++

in th lounge

+++

doma nd i had both
extnded our vocal ranges and

it twists chicks

when u can cum liek agirl

in th music

+++

we both went into

robert plant

i got a girl in me vocals and

i ended up with three

hot twenties chicks

part of dom';s menagerie

hangin on my every word

+++
the prodigy
'firestarter'
+++

he'll come out of it girls

trust me

+++

sang to long wi th man

+++

even way back when

he was part of a two piece

fuck she was good looking

+++

cant remember her guitar playing
at least competent

she could sing

+++

dom's guitar sang

+++

u did sing black to me

from pearl jam

in th street

i wrote it down

well ya did know it

+++

u arent th first

+++

just
sang with so many buskers man

u onyl one of
three

has my phone number

+++

u

womble
and

rock spider

+++

i am sorry rock spider

i love doin th rock spider shuffle

+++

does anybody wanna buy my hole ?

is somethin fun to sing

in th red light district

+++

and

woke up
got out of bed

kicked paris hilton in the head

+++

always goes down well

never

finishes th same way twice

i'm hopin

she's th same

+++
massive attack
'radiation ruling the nation'
+++

how are yr orgasm's paris

ever made it with a real psychic ?

+++

one who turns to u

at th pub

and says

u just let down bitch

cause u have

+++

not that
he was payin any attention just

can feel it

+++

me and th head witch had

soem fuckin good times

+++

th psychic sex with
kuta lady is

outta sight

+++

we dont to touch each other

we feed on other things

+++

took th other kuta lady;s

a litle whiel to handle but

we're all still

pretty friendly

+++

wonder if jen's up for a rum ?

+++

bundaberg on my mind

+++

th best rum

+++

bundy rum

+++

i'm biased
i was vice president

of a motorcycle club in

bundaberg

+++

this

dr death cunt

from bundaberg
is gettin all my press

he;s not the
real dr death from bundaberg

+++

my psychic death curse

got dr azahari and

he was
kuta's

dr death
bomb maker for both kuta beach bomb attacks

+++

got u cunt

12 days after i

asked for yr death

+++

balanced

my ridin

over th mountain of kuta

12 days

before yr first bombs went off

at kuta beach

dead cunt

+++

something in me knew

i wrote th date

nxt to my tag

on kuta mountain

26th of th ninth

and th yr

+++

12 days

+++

but my death curse
on dr death

came true
on day 12

and all in

server logs

gotta love it

+++

i luv u strawbery

i hope u know that

+++

wot i got back was

i luv kuta lady more

+++
kylei minogue
'secret'(take you home)
+++

we're sisters

dont confuse
it

she used t be th girl nxt door

+++

her sister

is th freak of th family

+++

she;s not movin back in

next door

but only lives around th corenr

+++

marko asked

does she ever go to kuta lady;s shindigs

i wa soff to one

soemtiems i replied

yeah man
she was at that one

nice tits hey

+++

i gave her backrub at th footy club

almost drssed as girl
by barbie girl

with my unicycle along

for a kuta lady bash

+++

when yr ex girlfriend
fronted as

a groomsman

at th wedding

+++

no-one batted an eyelid

+++
nirvana
'where did you sleep last night'
+++

most of th male guest were

starin at her girlfriend;s tits

+++

who spent half th evening with me

yackin outside th pub

if ya can believe

th goss

+++

we were both
yackin to th blonde

and playin th usual games

+++

damn
she winked at me

+++

i cant around sober dear

just on th drugs

yr girlfriend is too fractious

+++

we'd be on th piss

in twenty seconds

and probly leave u behind

again

+++

we went to trish's

+++

ummm

+++

me and jen are mates

+++

look

+++

she was th first one

to get my sklateboke

evry other cunt

fell off it

+++

ok

her and kuat lady

cloimbed all over each other

to go get it
and back and

even th guy;s wife was intrigued

young lesbians in love

th chick

dropped th price

while her husband argued

+++

th chicks won

+++

i did

jump on one of my unicycles and

go ballistic for a bit

th odd slide and

jump off th gutter and

a bit of dancing

+++
george
'release'
+++

i dunno ya climb on th bitch

and it just goes ballistic

+++

it bit like doin rose mc gowan

over a stove hotplate

bridge ya bitch

+++

turn th heat up

+++

if it aint cruel to make ducks dance

it aint cruel

to make her bridge

ah come on

u';d put a dog shock collar on a

chick

+++

jeez man

my readers are slippin

+++

th hot redhead

wehj wandered into kuta lady;s xmas party

aftyer mdinight

th one we were playin with th shock ball with

i rekcon she;d give it a go

+++

way mellow girl

+++

kuta lady was in

th hugest

fight

at th time

we all

just jammin

and goin with th flow

hang out with us

she'll mellow out

+++

eventually
she sloped off with th chicks

and we got to play with her
colombian boyufriend

+++
jewel
'break me'
+++

well nearly

we were playin

backyard xmas cricket

after mdinight

in th rain

+++

nearly took his head off

+++

to be fair

he nearly took mine off

+++

aim for th head

it;s too dark and

it;s rainin that hard

ya wont get im

+++

till we got sick of climbin fences

+++

six and

out

+++

how can th cunt hit it ?

+++

i cant even see im

+++

must be th magic hey

+++

watch out for
miss mini minor girl
she not sure if she;s a boy or a girl today

+++

we'll find out one day

+++

when she realises
she;s both

we'll all be much happier

+++

at least three transgender ppl
in th crowd and

did anybody else see wot

jen was showin strawberry
up alongside th bar

+++
violent femmes
'black girls'
+++

that;s th second biggest dildo
i;ve ever seen

i had to cop a feel

+++

.
.
.

bourbon

.
.
.

+++

my fuckin doctor
says i dont drink too mcuh

only drink

a couple days a week

if that some times

can read it in my blood

+++

liver;s still good

+++

have to keep my body in good condition
for my lords and masters

th ppl with more money than me

who'll get my organs

regardless

of wot;s ticked in th box

+++

oh yeah

of too much faith

+++

if i slide off one of those twenty footers

wi th crazy railings they say are

workplace health and safety

maybe not

+++

live on th edge

+++

nippleclamp
did slide this day and

several boy;s jaw;s dropped

+++
machine gun fellatio
'mouth'
+++

hmm

+++

it's all good

+++

triple o
is havin a brief sabbatical
just th usual

puttin rubber on th unicycles

that tyre hasnt turned up

shoulda bought two

liek th man said

i'm psychic
i'm not omnipotent

"yet"

.
.
.

pirate jenny
and
"black"

bein together

'james boing"

'the land surfer"

+++
p.s.

+++
cat stevens
'father and son'
+++

i am not a writing device paulo...