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2 of 3: obnoxious jokes
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Joe Bethancourt
Apr 10, 1992, 11:07:46 AM4/10/92
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Obnoxious filk/music jokes 2 of 3
What's the difference between a dead trombone player in the road and a dead Country-Western singer in the road?
The C & W singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
What's the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What's a tuba for?
1 1/2" X 3 1/2"
Why do marching band drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
What does the accordion player say when he gets to his gig?
"Would you like fries with that. sir?"
What did the nightclub owner get on his IQ test?
Drool.
What's the definition of a quarter tone?
Filkers harmonizing in thirds.
Why are filkers fingers like lightning?
Because they rarely strike the same spot twice.
How can you tell if a fiddle is out of tune?
The bow is moving.
Why is a filker like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive -and- inaccurate....
What do nightclub owners use for birth control?
Their personalities.
How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
Sit in the back and don't play.
How do you know if a bunch of filkers are at your front door?
No one knows when to come in.
How many folksingers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change the bulb, and the rest to complain about
it being electric.
What's the difference between a violin and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.....
How do you get a violinist to play a downbow stacatto?
Put a tenuto mark over a whole note and mark it solo.
Why are violins smaller than violas?
They're really the same size...violinist's heads are larger.
What's the difference between a dead trombone player in the road and a dead Country-Western singer in the road?
The C & W singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
What's the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
What's a tuba for?
1 1/2" X 3 1/2"
Why do marching band drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
What does the accordion player say when he gets to his gig?
"Would you like fries with that. sir?"
What did the nightclub owner get on his IQ test?
Drool.
What's the definition of a quarter tone?
Filkers harmonizing in thirds.
Why are filkers fingers like lightning?
Because they rarely strike the same spot twice.
How can you tell if a fiddle is out of tune?
The bow is moving.
Why is a filker like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive -and- inaccurate....
What do nightclub owners use for birth control?
Their personalities.
How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
Sit in the back and don't play.
How do you know if a bunch of filkers are at your front door?
No one knows when to come in.
How many folksingers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven. One to change the bulb, and the rest to complain about
it being electric.
What's the difference between a violin and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.....
How do you get a violinist to play a downbow stacatto?
Put a tenuto mark over a whole note and mark it solo.
Why are violins smaller than violas?
They're really the same size...violinist's heads are larger.
--
Joe Bethancourt
Internet: Joe.Bet...@p0.f17.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Compuserve: >internet:Joe.Bet...@p0.f17.n114.z1.fidonet.org
Sherman Dorn
Apr 12, 1992, 12:01:08 AM4/12/92
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On <10 Apr 92 08:07>, Joe Bethancourt scribbed the following to All:
JB> Why are violins smaller than violas?
JB> They're really the same size...violinist's heads are larger.
As an ex-viola player . . . THANK YOU!
--
Sherman Dorn
Internet: Sherma...@p3.f917.n273.z1.fidonet.org
Compuserve: >internet:Sherma...@p3.f917.n273.z1.fidonet.org
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