The Torah of Noah (Ya faithless bastards)

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Torah of Noah

The 253 Official Rules of the Kingdom of Noah

(aka The Kingdom of Noah Torah)



Thou Shalt Not Kill

Thou Shalt Do No Violence

Thou Shalt Not Eat Blood

Thou Shalt enjoy thy rock & roll, but thou shalt not let the party get out of hand

Thou Shalt enjoy thy wine, but thou again shalt not let the party get out of hand

Thy Rock & Roll parties on Saturday Night is generally the best way to go

Thou Shalt not have thy personal rock and roll up too loud, and make sure it gets lower and lower as the night goes on to allow people their proper rest

Thou shalt have thy teeth cleaned by water when you can

Thou shalt get a good diet which must include some fruits and vegetables for proper health

Thou shalt not eat too much meat – keep it to a minimum – too much is not good for the health

Thou shalt be concerned about thy health

Thou Shalt agree that you should not covet too much land to the detriment of thy neighbour’s right to also live on the land – you should not try and take it all, simply because you think you can just buy it, but you shall share your land and property with your neighbour to ensure peace, happiness, and enjoyment for all

Thou shalt share thy natural resources of thy nation fairly amongst the citizens

Thou shalt trade in equity, fairness and justice with all nations – do not attempt to prosper over them, but ensure they do not rip you off either – you shall have equitable, just and fair trade agreements

Thou shalt make thy spare national resources available to other nations in exchange for their own resources which you can utilize

Thou shalt trade fair resources for fair resources – neither party should profit unjustly over the other

Thou shalt have concern for thy neighbours welfare and ensure they have access to life, liberty, happiness and the pursuit of their dreams

Thou Shalt Wash Yourself after Sexual Relations to ensure no unpleasant substances affect you or others

Thou Shalt Wash yourself regularly and keep yourself clean

Thou Shalt Keep Tidy

Thou Shalt realize that men have penises and women have vaginas – and that there is a difference between men and women in the way that God designed them

Thou shalt realize that a feminine culture is a good idea for females and that a masculine culture is a good idea for males

Thou Shalt Wash Your Clothes

Thou Shalt Wear Clothes so as not to embarrass other people through thine nakedness

Thou Shalt Not Eat the Forbidden Fruit

Thou Shalt Not Steal

Thou Shalt Not Rape

Thou Shalt Wait until Puberty – Nature’s Signal – before practising sexual relations

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery, as practising sexual immorality if you have oathed to stay loyal to a partner is a sign of corruption and dishonour

Thou Shalt realize that a woman who has children to more than one man is not wise

Thou Shalt Honour Marriages as the foundation of a stable society

Thou Shalt Treat each other with kindness and respect to build a stable society of trust and respect

Thou Shalt realize that gay men can not commit sexual intercourse with each other and have babies

Thou Shalt realize that the idea of gay marriages is pretty stupid as they can’t make baby's

Thou Shalt practice kindness and loyalty to family members

Thou Shalt have fair and true justice and judgements

Thou Shalt not kidnap people

Thou Shalt have a welfare system, thou shalt encourage education, and thou shalt attempt to contribute lawfulness and wisdom to the society to profit those dedicated to eternal life

Thou Shalt budget carefully to ensure your spending is upon the important needs to maintain your household

Thou Shalt exercise prudence and caution when it comes to the company and friendships that you keep – remember, not every supposed friend will act in your best interests or care for you properly

Thou Shalt keep honest and true land boundary records

Thou Shalt honour the law

Thou Shalt not appoint a corrupt judge to office, and thou shalt dismiss a corrupt judge from office

Thou Shalt not consult demonic entities for witchcraft

Thou Shalt realize that Astrology is deceptive

Thou Shalt realize that Tarot is a joke

Thou Shalt realize that Magic is unethical manipulation of the rights of others through spellcraft

Thou Shalt know that many people are offended by faggotry

Thou Shalt know that transsexuals make some people vomit

Thou Shalt realize that tattoos put some people off

Thou Shalt know that coveting other peoples stuff leads to jealousy and envy and theft

Thou Shalt get thine own stuff instead of being envious of thy neighbours

Thou Shalt have concern for thine parents because they are raising you and feeding you in this world

Thou Shalt not honour thy parents wishes if they intend sin for thee

Thou Shalt not get drunk in public places – it inevitably leads to embarrassing behaviour and violence

Thou Shalt not abuse cigarettes – keep your smoking practices under control and allow some time regularly for the body to abstain from cigarettes

Thou Shalt avoid illicit drugs – if they become legal exercise caution

Thou Shalt observe the traffic rules – if you speed, you will inevitably kill others or yourself

Thou Shalt abide by common sense

Thou Shalt not be proud of thine own efforts, for pride corrupts the heart into thinking itself greater than it actually is

Thou Shalt realize that God made everything and designed everything – why is thine boast in a vain idol, a vain statue, a vain human, who sins constantly?

Thou Shalt realize that your vain kings and queens are puffed up with pride, and attempting to usurp authority in place of God and his laws, which are true and just forever

Thou Shalt realize that all civil codes are corrupted by human logic, not that of the divine, and allow sin in great quantities to prosper unchecked

Thou Shalt realize that freedom of religion is freedom to sin, which is inevitable death, and regard all such societal rules which allow this as corrupt

Thou Shalt repent of your sins

Thou shalt not put too heavy loads of theological teaching on young minds as everyone needs to learn about the rules of life, and you can’t learn everything instantly or all at once – so thou shalt allow some people decent, fair and reasonable grace as they learn how to live

Thou Shalt not worship idols

Thou Shalt definitely enjoy having sexual relations with your partner when the marriage is consummated, and seeing all their bodily assets is what life is all about.

Thou Shalt avoid corrupt people

Thou Shalt realize that the author of these rules does not insist you agree with every single one of them

Thou Shalt be civilized

Thou Shalt realize that getting caught up in excessive fantasies is not wise

Thou shalt practice moderation when necessary

Thou shalt be merciful

Thou shalt be just

Thou shalt be kind

Thou shalt be loving

Thou shalt be honest

Thou shalt be brutally honest when necessary

Thou shalt humble the proud

Thou shalt have honest weights and measures

Thou shalt not commit fraud

Thou shalt listen to wise counsel

Thou shalt do all thine mockeries in a spirit of sarcastic love and affection

Thou shalt rebuketh bullies

Thou shalt not tolerate bullies

Thou shalt verily mocketh bullies

Thou shalt not engage in sexual activity with animals

Thou shalt not engage in any forms of sexual bestiality

Thou shalt ensure your working standards are legal, ethical, and according to the correct procedures of the company or business you work for

Thou shalt not exploit anybody

Thou shalt not exploit employees

Thou shalt pay fair, reasonable and just wages, and provide bonuses when the situation fairly warrants – yet thou shalt also provide a decent, good and reasonable profit for yourself and any shareholders also

Thou shalt not be ashamed of being rich, nor shalt thou be ashamed of being poor

Thou shalt strive for wealth and success carefully to build up your estate, as God likes wealth and treasures

Thou shalt not strive for wealth to a great degree if thou doesn’t really mind that much, but thou should never be jealous thus of those who do work for and strive for greater wealth

Thou shalt respect land laws and rights and peoples ownership of the land

Thou shalt seek calm and stable ways

Thou shalt not act as an aggressor

Thou shalt be friendly and hospitable towards people of good reputation

Thou shalt be concerned for your family's welfare and reputation

Thou shalt realize the standards of the Noahide Nations need to be decent enough for us to get along well enough with in the end for us to pursue our dreams in the spirit of eternal life

Thou shalt not racially discriminate

Thou shalt respect those of the opposite sex

Thou shalt not abuse animals

Thou shalt have no slavery in Noahide Nations

Thy Nation shalt not oppress any other nation

Thou shalt seek the ways of national and international peace

Thou shalt have an economic and political system which acts in the best interests of every citizen, whatever the particular economic or political system you favour

Thou shalt realize that both right wing, left wing and central body of any political system are all necessary for the proper functioning of a political system, and respect each components rights to exercise authority when they are in office

Thou shalt not exercise political opposition simply for the sake of it, but that shalt exercise political opposition when the case at hand definitely warrants it

Thou shalt listen carefully to the advice of health professionals

Thou shall try to get along with your society

Thou Shalt avoid hypocrisy

Thou Shalt consider the needs of others

Thou Shalt be concerned with your own reputation

Thou Shalt be polite

Thou Shalt observe the facts of Creation Science

Thou Shalt raise thy children with Kindness, Justice, Fun and Love

Thou shalt realize that God loved Noah and we are Noah’s Children and that God loves us as well

Thou Shalt be humble enough to admit it when you are wrong

God desires Noahide Nations to be Righteous

Thou shalt seek calm ways to find peace for your soul

God expects Noahide Nations to be Righteous

God talks to Noahides and teaches Noahide peoples truths as well

God expects you to remember that the sign of Noah’s Covenant is the Rainbow

Thou shalt remember that Noahide Nations are Free Men and Women

Thou shalt be happy in thine own Noahide achievements

Thou shalt be happy in thine own Noahide successes

Thou shalt be happy in thine own Noahide glories

Thou shalt have just laws and just rules

Thou shalt create and promote your own rules and laws and teach them to others if you believe they are just, fair, kind and well-intentioned towards people

Thou shalt be happy being social or happy being independent if that is what thou desire

Thou shalt disregard others if they mock thee for thy looks or thy personal tastes in things, such as clothes or music or other things

Thou shalt find inner strength through being a child of God’s creation, a child of God’s love, and remember these rules are dedicated to all people, including yourself, and are for your best interests at heart

Thou shalt practice love, mercy, grace and kindness

Thou shalt try to see the inner beauty in people and see as God’s sees – the heart

Thou shalt acknowledge the truth

Thou shalt tell the truth

Thou shalt lie if you want to to a corrupt person who will use it against you

Thou shalt not bow to men

Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

Thou shalt educate thyself and grow in knowledge when you have the time and the inclination

Thou shalt encourage education and growing in knowledge in others

Thou shalt not put a stumbling block in front of the blind

Thou shalt protect the rights of orphans and widows

Thou shalt care for the disaffected in your society

Thou shalt give people a break when they need one

Thou shalt not be too legalistic all the time, but thou shalt be legalistic when necessary

Thou shalt exercise balance, moderation and know there is a time for all things under heaven

Thou canst pray to God if thou wants to

Thou shalt not feel pressured into praising God if you think it is stupid or you don’t want to

Thou shalt remember that God is just a bloke as well, as we are made after his image, and he also knows how to relax and have a good time

Thou shalt expect mercy from God and thou shalt grant mercy to God

Thou shalt not judge God too harshly, but express your opinions freely to him on any issue you believe in

Thou shalt not racially discriminate but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself

Thou shalt keep prostitution to a minimum so that the land does not fall into depravity and become full of injustice

Thou shalt have designated suburbs in your cities for your brothels

Thou shalt not deliberately force your daughter to become a prostitute, but if she takes it up herself of her own volition thou shalt still respect, love and care for her and provide for her

Thou shalt not indulge too greatly in pornography, and thou shalt get rid of your old porno collections after a while to make sure you do not get involved with old and stale debauchery, fowl obsessions over porn stars who do not want the attention, or smelly odours and substances attached to such things – keep any porn in your collections reasonably recent if you must have such things

Thou shalt not offend straight people with your gay fantasies

Thou shalt not practice sexual harassment

Thou shalt be slutty or smutty with a person of the opposite sex in a flirtatious sense only if they appreciate such things and do not tell you to back off or say that they are not interested

Thou shalt not make assumptions that all men are bastards or that all women are bitches – there is a great diversity of people amongst the human race

If you are gay, better to find your own gay community, and live in designated gay suburbs or gay streets or gay housing complexes

God is less concerned about gayness if it is separate from the heterosexual community into enclaves and areas of the community which don’t affect the mainstream which God prefers

If you are Gay, still keep the rules of God, and do not provoke him or others who are offended by such lifestyles

Keep any profane lifestyles separate and away from mainstream society so as not to bother them

Thou shalt not mess around with thy neighbours property

Thou shalt respect thy neighbours property

Thou shalt not pressure thy neighbour into doing things they don’t want to do

Thou shalt not try to control or manipulate people

Thou shalt be clear in charting thy work procedures for thy workforce, and not expect things of them that are not clearly designated or shown instructions for in the work procedures and protocols manuals

Thou shalt be very specific in the things required of your workers in thine work contracts, and not expect things of them which are not clearly specified

Thou shalt have the right to expect workers to comply with all reasonable requests according to procedures of the workplace if they have agreed to them contractually

Thou shalt have the right to make workers redundant if they are consistently working at a level lower than that required by their work agreements

Thou shalt give fair warnings to workers before attempting to make them redundant

Thou shalt not have sex with dead people – thou shalt avoid necrophilia and respect the rights of the dead

Thou shalt not molest little children – wait until puberty before engaging in sexual practices with anyone

Thou shalt have concerns for thy little ones and raise them properly

Thou shalt allow adoptions when necessary, but thou shalt not attempt to usurp over the child the rights of the biological parents

Thou shalt honour doctors and be careful about medical rules and procedures

Thou shalt treat the mentally unwell with care and concern, and hospitalize them if and when necessary

Thou shalt exercise caution with psychotic people, but thou shalt remember that they do not necessarily intend any form of lawlessness

Thou shalt take the hint if the girl tells you to go away

Thou shalt take the hint if the guy says you are not the one

Thou shalt have the right to refuse everyone from telling you to do anything at all to simply serve their vain wishes, regardless of your age

Children are supposed to comply with their parents wishes if the parents are attempting to raise their children properly

It is quite ok to rebuke rebellious children to ensure compliance with the laws

Thou shalt realize you are not alone in this life and this world, and it does not revolve all around you, and that you can not have all the say or everything your own way – you have to share this world with everyone else

Don’t annoy people off just for the sake of it – have some respect

Take issue with people off if they have a go at you for no reason

Don’t exercise grudges against people

Exercise grudges against people if they deserve it

Everyone thinks its funny until someone loses an eye

Keep your humour in check when necessary

Don’t vandalize

Don’t harm other people’s property

Do the right thing

Don’t be rebellious simply because you are up yourself

Be Natural

Walk in harmony with nature

Care for the environment

Keep genealogies for a relevant number of current generations

Repent of lawlessness when God convicts your conscience of guilt

Enjoy your youth

Settle down when you need to

Get along with society

Be pleasant

Try to like people and understand them

Communicate honestly and openly

Don’t try to get one up on people simply to be a cocky prick

Afford the good things in life when and were you can

Be luxurious when you can

Be thrifty when you need to be

Learn about life by living it

Choose life

Take your school education seriously

Look to contribute to society in some way or other that you are capable of

If you are shy by nature it is ok not to participate in things if you don’t want to

Find your favourite things in life and learn to enjoy them

Be in the Hearts of Men

Be Ethical

Be Decent

Be Proper

Stuffing up occasionally is human nature

Everyone needs a break

Noah offered sacrifices to God of clean animals – you can do this as well if you want to as Noahides – you aren’t commanded to though

It is best to put first degree or deliberate murderers to death

God should kill murderers before they intending murdering – that is the right thing for God to do as far as we are concerned

Thou shalt not torture

Thou shalt not maim

Limited degrees of torture in any ongoing cold war or hot war hostilities can be justified if it is in your nations best interests and will ultimately save lives or other necessary national assets of significant enough value

Limited degrees of acceptable torture should not permanently damage a human body – that is the important thing – for example, scaring the fuck out of them is ok, as they will eventually heal from any psychological scarring, yet their bodies will remain whole, which is the most important thing

It is very important to make sure you have the right person in the above situations if you are going to use limited degrees of torture – you wouldn’t like a child of yours tortured if they were innocent would you?

Keep your anger in check

Try to avoid being angry with people

Go off to the pub and talk shit with your mates to get your anger and other issues of your chest

If you really have to, make sure you only smoke a few cigarettes a year – this might almost be considered moderation on such coffin nails and cancer sticks

Aids will kill you

Don’t infect others with Aids – that is essentially murder

If you have Aids, the only way out of this hell-hole is to repent your guts out to God’s personal satisfaction, and then ask him for a cure – he might give you one

Probably the only acceptable sexual activities, when you are finally prepared to comply, are sexual intercourse with your spouse or concubine, oral sex with a condom and, if she likes it and asks for it, anal sex with a condom. Everything beyond this, ultimately, if you don't repent of it, will probably lead down the sexual sins road a step at a time, get to bestiality in time, which will lead to diseases which will ultimately kill you. In heaven or on earth, that will likely be true forever.

If you don't ultimately repent of your sinful ways and attitudes in the heavenly afterworld, you might eventually seek out illicit drugs, and think you can handle them, but you will OD in time. That is the end of your eternity then.

If you are going to smoke cigarettes, you need regular periods of abstinence for the body to be cleansed of the toxins. Talk to your doctor about this.

With a lot of your dietary intake, in fact, you will need to have your toxins diminished through drinking water and sometimes eating very little food for periods. Keep your weight under control, and drink that water, as it helps metabolise fat and gets rid of it.

Gluttony is called one of the 7 deadly sins for a reason. And if you covet, are slothful, steal, are sexually immoral, are proud or excessively violent, don't think you are going to live forever so damn easily my friend, believe me.

It's best to repent of sins when you realize and acknowledge your behaviour isn't really working out.

Find peace with God by obeying sound life principles.

Keep yourself occupied by doing things which are positive and helpful in life.

The 3rd Final Rule is: Study a lot of Stuff

The 2nd Final Rule is: Children of the Kingdom of Noah – Keep the Faith, Walk with God, study these laws and the Literature of the 7 Divine Noahide Fellowships and Live Forever, Prosper, Don’t Worry & Be Happy

The 1st Final Rule is: Be Good