Bluegrass jokes?
Joe Williamson
Does anybody know of a site that features bluegrass humor?
Joe Cline
<j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote:
>Anybody got any favorite bluegrass jokes?
Q: What do you get when you cross a banjo player and a groundhog?
A: Six more weeks of Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
Joe Cline
www.kilocyclekowboys.com
Cyberbilly
"Joe Williamson" <j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote in message
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> Anybody got any favorite bluegrass jokes?
>
> Does anybody know of a site that features bluegrass humor?
Q. Why do banjo players like to walk when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.
Q. How do you get two banjos to play in perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a banjo.
Q. What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q. How can you tell a banjo player with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw one into the middle of a pond and not hit any ducks.
Q. How is playing a banjo like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
Q. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a banjo?
A. You can tune the lawn mower.
Q. What's another difference between a lawn mower and a banjo?
A. The neighbors get upset if you borrow the lawn mower and don't return it.
Q. What's the difference between a dead banjo player in the road and a dead
guitar player in the road?
A. The guitar player may have been on the way to a recording session.
Q. What's the range of a banjo?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
Q. Why are a banjo player's fingers like lightning?
A. They never strike the same spot twice.
Q. How can you tell if a banjo is out of tune?
A. Someone is picking it.
Q. Why is a banjo like a SCUD missile?
A. Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Q. "Hey, Buddy. How late does that banjo picker play?"
A. "Oh, about a half beat behind the fiddler."
Q. What's one thing you never hear people say?
A. "Oh, that's the banjo player's Porsche."
Q. What's the definition of "optimism"?
A. A banjo player with a beeper.
Q: What is the definition of a gentleman?
A: A man who knows how to play the banjo but doesn't.
-Cyberbilly
Sue
"Joe Williamson" <j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote in message
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>
A violin has strings.
A fiddle has.......strangs.
Thanks to comedian at Raymond Fairchild's Maggie Valley Opry House
sue
Sue
"Joe Williamson" <j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote in message
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> Does anybody know of a site that features bluegrass humor?
Banjo jokes?
http://bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html
Mitch Dickson
Joe Williamson <j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote in message
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>
> Does anybody know of a site that features bluegrass humor?
Before my ISP took my bandwidth and killed my site I had several pages of
good banjo jokes :)
Such as:
"There is nothing quite like the sound of a banjo..........except maybe that
sound a chicken makes when caught in a vacuum cleaner".
FOR SALE, PREWAR GIBSON, RECENTLY TUNED.
Mitch
goo...@cyberbilly.net
Mandolin player asks "What's wrong?"
"My Banjo is out of tune because the Fiddle player loosened one of my
tuning pegs." said the picker.
"So what's the problem?" said the fiddler, "Just tighten it."
"I would," said the picker, "but he won't tell me which one he
loosened!"
-Cyberbilly
Fokke de Jong
There's one story/joke that I didn't find in this extensive listing (maybe
because it really happened).
In May 1993 I was at the annual "Big Bear Festival", a bluegrass festival in
Zuidlaren in the Netherlands, where Charlie Louvin was the closing act
together with Charles Whitstein (mandolin) and Susie Reed (bass).
At the start of the festival, when the prforming act was not that
interesting to me, I sat down in a quiet side room with Charlie Louvin and
Adrian Farmer, a british multi-instrumentalist who was a member of the Dutch
"Stroatklinkers", but at that time already living in Great Britain again.
Adrian was telling how he had participated in a festival in his homecountry
a few weeks earlier and had be leading a banjo-workshop in a big tent at the
festivalgrounds. It had been a great expierience for him and there had been
over 40 banjoplayers at a given time.
Right at that moment Charlie interrupted, saying: "Man, what a great place
to drop a bomb on!"
Through the years we have seen a lot of great bluegrass/acts on stage at
this festival, that has now become the official closing event of the
´European World of Bluegrass´, but I will never forget that afternoon when I
for a change wasn´t listening to the music.
Kind regards,
Fokke de Jong
Drachten, Fryslân
The Netherlands
"Sue" <kup...@alltel.net> schreef in bericht
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Carp
Carp
"Fokke de Jong" <fokke....@chello.nl> wrote in message
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F_Pr
The sperm has a chance of becoming human!
Q; How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
A; Five, One to change the bulb and four to stand around and complain about
it being electric.
What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
You don't have to take off your shoes to jump on the banjo.
Q: How do you stop a banjo player from playing?
A: Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.
Q: How does a banjo player respond to applause?
A: No one will ever know.
Q.whats the difference between a banjo player and a alcoholic?
A.the alcoholic has a career.
How can you tell one banjo song from another?
They have different titles.
A banjo player and a guitar player are sentenced to be shot at sunrise.
The guards ask for any last requests:
The banjo player says, "Get me a banjo so I can play 'Foggy Mountain
Breakdown' one more time just before I die.
Guitar player say, "Shoot me first!"
What's the difference between a banjo and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up a banjo.
If a banjo player and his wife divorce, would they still be cousins?
Q: What do you call a banjo player with half a brain?
A: Gifted
Here about the guy who left his only banjo in the car with the door unlocked
and the window open?
He came back and found two more!!
Q: What's the difference between a banjo player and a harmonica player?
A: A harmonica player only sucks on every other note.
What do you call a good looking girl on the arm of a Banjo player?
A tattoo!
Banjo picker walks into music store and asks,
"can I get a set of strings for my banjo"?
Clerk says, sounds like a good trade to me.
How do you tune a banjo?
"Wire Cutters"
Why don't banjo players play hide and seek?
Because nobody would look for them.
How do you keep your mandolin from being stolen?
Keep it in a banjo case.
How do we KNOW the toothbrush was invented by a Banjo player?
Otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush
pcnky
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 5. 1 to change the bulb and four to stand around complaining that
earl wouldn't have done it that way.
:P
Michael Hofer
banjo/ accordian / bagpipes player jokes.
I was out at Kendalville IN at the big bluegrass festival there last Labor
day weekend and attended a workshop on "How To Sing Bluegrass". You know
gettomg out those words while playin a banjo 15 notes a second aint easy.
So I signed up for the class.
They start you out by making you put a bag of marbles in your mouth and
learning ya to sing "Blue Moon of Kentucky" with the proper diction. As you
improve, you can spit out a marble. Get a little better and you spit out
another.
By the end of the cllass, youve lost all your marbles and youre ready to
sing Bluegrass.
good pickin to you
Michael
http://www.banjoaddiction.com
Free banjo mp3 files
http
http://banjobasics.julieferris.com
For the beginning banjoist or banjo hobbyist.
Tons of info.
"Joe Williamson" <j...@joewilliamson.com> wrote in message
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Mitch Dickson
What do you usually say to a banjo player in a three piece suit?
Answer, "Will the defendant please rise?"
elbo...@gmail.com
> Anybody got any favorite bluegrass jokes?
>
> Does anybody know of a site that features bluegrass humor?