What old movie, if any ...

[JimC]

... should the Coens remake? Ladykillers was disappointing, but
stylish.

Maybe a lesser known Hitchcock movie, like The Lodger?

You know what might be interesting -- go with me for a second -- a
Bond remake. They could do something like Diamonds Are Forever, but
make the violence feel real.

[Joe Blevins]

Hello.

Interesting you should mention remakes and "The Ladykillers." I recently
did a back-to-back comparsion of the original Ealing "Ladykillers" to the
Coen "Ladykillers" and found that the remake either equalled or bested the
original in nearly every respect, and in terms of actual laughs *and*
production values, the Coen version was far superior. My eventual
conclusion was that while everything I liked about the Coen picture
essentially came from the Ealing picture, the Coen version took those
elements and elaborated upon them beautifully. Next to the Coen film, the
Ealing Studios version seems a charming but quaint demo. There are dozens
of things I could mention, but let's start with the central character --
played in the original by Alec Guinness and in the remake by Tom Hanks.
Here is a scoundrel, a thief who tries to disguise his villanous nature with
flowery language, a melodious voice, and dapper attire. Of course, his
dubious attempts at charm only make him seem even more creepy and
suspicious. True, the Guinness character embodies all these traits, but
Hanks' performance embroiders brilliantly upon them, and the Coens' baroque
script gives him plenty of opportunities to shine. Their dialogue for
Professor Dorr is one of the picture's many marvels.

Someday, if boredom or desperation completely overtakes me, I will attempt
to write up a full-length defense of the Coen "Ladykillers," positioning the
film as a minor classic or overlooked gem. (I will pay particular attention
to the film's Southern Gothic setting and gospel score and the way these
elements offer an ironic counterpoint to the story's main action and provide
a subtext not even hinted at in the original film.)

BUT RETURNING TO YOUR QUESTION (AT LONG LAST)

The movie I'd most like to see them remake is "The Big Sleep." Howard Hawks'
version is a classic, but it is not faithful to the spirit -- or the
letter -- of the Raymond Chandler novel on which it is based. I think the
Coens would get closer to the spirit of Chandler's book, and there are
certain racy plot points which Hawks had to tip-toe around 60 years ago but
which the Coens could deal with head-on. The world needs a film version of
the REAL "Big Sleep," and the Coens might just be the ones to do it. It
would give them another chance to work in the film noir genre in which they
tend to thrive.

Failing that, I'd love to see them attempt a remake of John Carpenter's
"Dark Star," which tells the story of a small group of astronauts who are
stuck together on a clautrophia-inducing "scout ship" for a seemingly
endless, lonely mission to blow up remote planets in the far corners of
space. This seems like a far-fetched project (the Coens doing sci-fi?), but
I think they have just the right darkly comedic sensibility for it.
Besides, "Dark Star" is essentially a lot of talk, and the Coens write some
of the best dialogue in modern movies. My dream cast would reunite many of
the actors from "The Big Lebowski." I'd cast Jeff Bridges as Doolittle,
John Goodman as Boiler, and Steve Buscemi as Pinback. (Buscemi was BORN to
play Pinback.)

--Joe--

[JimC]

I haven't seen either of those, but that's an interesting idea about
Dark Star.

Maybe they shouldn't do a remake at all, but film something like
Philip K. Dick's novel Clans of the Alphane Moon. It has several
elements that would appeal to them, including a mind-reading alien
neighbor who may or may not be trustworthy.