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motorcyclists, motorcycles and motorcycling jokes

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AlFire

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Jun 12, 2008, 10:11:32 AM6/12/08
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Hi,

I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
throwing something which cracked me recently:

Q: why cruiser bikers do not wave to sport ones
A: because they are afraid of riding with a one hand off the bar


Looking for good ones,
AndyL

.p.jm@see_my_sig_for_address.com

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Jun 12, 2008, 10:34:13 AM6/12/08
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On Thu, 12 Jun 2008 09:11:32 -0500, AlFire
<spamgrinde...@ggmail.com> wrote:

>Hi,
>
>I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
>throwing something which cracked me recently:
>
> Q: why cruiser bikers do not wave to sport ones
> A: because they are afraid of riding with a one hand off the bar

Miss Swan says 'You funny man. Now I tell you evey ting. You
funny, yeh ?'

>Looking for good ones,

Hope you find one some day.


--
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Paul ( pjm @ pobox . com ) - remove spaces to email me
'Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.'
'With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.'
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Nameless 1

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Jun 12, 2008, 2:49:08 PM6/12/08
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On Jun 12, 7:11�am, AlFire <spamgrinder.tryla...@ggmail.com> wrote:

> I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
> throwing something which cracked me recently:

I once had a girlfriend named Ruth, but she fell off the pillion, and
I rode on, ruthlessly...

Andrew

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Jun 12, 2008, 3:37:31 PM6/12/08
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"AlFire" <spamgrinde...@ggmail.com> wrote in message
news:48512E94...@ggmail.com...

> Hi,
>
> I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
> throwing something which cracked me recently:
>
> Q: why cruiser bikers do not wave to sport ones
> A: because they are afraid of riding with a one hand off the bar


Q: How many fraternity brothers does it take to buy a motorcycle?
A: 1 to buy the bike and 20 to print up T-Shirts.

--
Andrew
00 Daytona
00 Speed Triple
71 Kawi H1
05 Squiddo


.p.jm@see_my_sig_for_address.com

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Jun 12, 2008, 4:34:27 PM6/12/08
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On Thu, 12 Jun 2008 11:49:08 -0700 (PDT), Nameless 1
<Rhia...@gmail.com> wrote:

No, he specifically said 'good ones'.

.p.jm@see_my_sig_for_address.com

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Jun 12, 2008, 4:35:16 PM6/12/08
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On Thu, 12 Jun 2008 12:37:31 -0700, "Andrew"
<yo...@nospamm.no.spam.hotmail.com> wrote:

>
>"AlFire" <spamgrinde...@ggmail.com> wrote in message
>news:48512E94...@ggmail.com...
>> Hi,
>>
>> I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
>> throwing something which cracked me recently:
>>
>> Q: why cruiser bikers do not wave to sport ones
>> A: because they are afraid of riding with a one hand off the bar
>
>
>Q: How many fraternity brothers does it take to buy a motorcycle?
>A: 1 to buy the bike and 20 to print up T-Shirts.

Pretty happy with yer day job, are ya ?

Good.

P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:34:39 PM6/12/08
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Q: What's the difference between a Harley-Davidson and a BMW?

A: The Harley burns longer but the BMW burns hotter.


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:39:52 PM6/12/08
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Q: How many BMW riders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one; but while he's at it he'll take out the garbage, defrost your
freezer, empty the vacuum, paint your house, upgrade your wiring, and defrag
your hard drive.


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:49:27 PM6/12/08
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Q: How do you tell all the different Harley-Davidson models apart?

A: By their names.

P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:53:41 PM6/12/08
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Q: You're lost in the desert and you see Bugs Bunny, a cactus, and a
law-abiding motorcycle rider: which one do you ask for directions?

A: Might as well try the cactus. The other two are figments of your
imagination.


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:55:19 PM6/12/08
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Q: Why are motorcycle jokes all so simple?

A: So scooter riders can understand them too.


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 5:56:31 PM6/12/08
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Q: How do you keep a motorcycle rider in suspense?


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 6:02:30 PM6/12/08
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A tough-looking guy walks into a bar with his pet 'gator and asks the
bartender "Do you serve bikers here?"

The bartender says "We sure do."

And the guy says, "Great! Give me a beer and I'll have a biker for my
'gator."


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 6:30:17 PM6/12/08
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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I just heard the best
damned motorcycle joke I've ever heard! Can I tell it to you?"

The bartender, a big tough sort, looks at him and says, "Mister, *I'm* a
biker! And you see that big guy over there playing pool? The one with the
eyepatch and the hook? Well, *he's* a biker too! And that 400 pound guy
who's standing over there and eating the beer bottle for a snack? Well,
*HE'S* a biker too!

Now; do you STILL want to tell us your damned biker joke?!!"

And the guy says, "Hell no! Not if I've gotta explain it three times!"

---------------------------------------------

I'm done now...


dizzy

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Jun 12, 2008, 8:21:09 PM6/12/08
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P. Roehling wrote:

>Q: How do you keep a motorcycle rider in suspense?

How? Tell me!

Battleax

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Jun 12, 2008, 10:25:54 PM6/12/08
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Those were truly pathetic


HARLEY DAVIDSON
Hogs Are Really Expensive, Your Dollars Are Very Irresponsibly Disbursed,
Spent On Nonsense

SOFTTAIL
Soft Or Fluffy? Tell Truth And I'll Laugh

LOW RIDER
Loud Old Wacko Rides Irresponsibly Down Entire Road

WEST COAST CHOPPERS
Why Everyone's Still Too Cool, Obviously, As Seen Televised Constantly,
Harley Ownin' Pediatricians Pervade Everyone's Ridin' Space


P. Roehling

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Jun 12, 2008, 11:05:38 PM6/12/08
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"Battleax" <unava...@thistime.net> wrote

> Those were truly pathetic

Thank you.

Of course, now you have to do better...


.p.jm@see_my_sig_for_address.com

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Jun 12, 2008, 11:19:02 PM6/12/08
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Miss Swan says 'You keep day job too, Okey Dokey, big boy ?
Uh huh. Yes.'.

AlFire

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Jun 13, 2008, 12:50:46 AM6/13/08
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for me the question if he get stuck in the Q/A format in the all
upcoming posts/jokes was quite suspending ...

The Older Gentleman

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Jun 13, 2008, 2:21:46 AM6/13/08
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P. Roehling <nowa...@uh-uh.edu> wrote:

> Q: Why are motorcycle jokes all so simple?
>
> A: So scooter riders can understand them too.

I like that one :-)


--
BMW K1100LT Ducati 750SS Honda CB400F, SL125 & SH50 Yamaha XT600E
chateau dot murray at idnet dot com
"What you're proposing to do will involve a lot of time
and hassle for no tangible benefit."

Road Glidin' Don

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Jun 13, 2008, 2:27:20 AM6/13/08
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On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:21:46 +0100, totallyde...@yahoo.co.uk
(The Older Gentleman) wrote:

>P. Roehling <nowa...@uh-uh.edu> wrote:
>
>> Q: Why are motorcycle jokes all so simple?
>>
>> A: So scooter riders can understand them too.
>
>I like that one :-)

I'm just wishing I could understand it... :(

Turby

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Jun 13, 2008, 3:29:46 AM6/13/08
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On Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:25:54 -0400, "Battleax"
<unava...@thistime.net> wrote:

>Those were truly pathetic
>
>HARLEY DAVIDSON
>Hogs Are Really Expensive, Your Dollars Are Very Irresponsibly Disbursed,
>Spent On Nonsense

What's pathetic is that you can't spell Harley.

>WEST COAST CHOPPERS
>Why Everyone's Still Too Cool, Obviously, As Seen Televised Constantly,
>Harley Ownin' Pediatricians Pervade Everyone's Ridin' Space

^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I believe that's supposed to be _Pedophiles_.

--
Turby the Turbosurfer

Road Glidin' Don

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Jun 13, 2008, 11:18:25 AM6/13/08
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On Jun 13, 1:29 am, Turby <turbosur...@beach.comber> wrote:
> On Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:25:54 -0400, "Battleax"
>
> <unavaila...@thistime.net> wrote:
> >Those were truly pathetic
>
> >HARLEY DAVIDSON
> >Hogs Are Really Expensive, Your Dollars Are Very Irresponsibly Disbursed,
> >Spent On Nonsense
>
> What's pathetic is that you can't spell Harley.
>
> >WEST COAST CHOPPERS
> >Why Everyone's Still Too Cool, Obviously, As Seen Televised Constantly,
> >Harley Ownin' Pediatricians Pervade Everyone's Ridin' Space
>
>                ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> I believe that's supposed to be _Pedophiles_.

Not to be confused with bicyclists, who are Peddlephiles...


THE Rick

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Jun 13, 2008, 11:20:30 AM6/13/08
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A crusty old biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a
tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH : $2.50 HANDJOB: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar
and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive women serving
drinks to a meager looking group of farmers. Yes?" she inquires with
a knowing smile, "can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the biker, "are you the young lady who
gives the hand-jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The old biker replies, "Well wash your fucking hands, I want a
cheeseburger"

Thumper

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Jun 13, 2008, 11:22:15 AM6/13/08
to

"P. Roehling" <nowa...@uh-uh.edu> wrote in message
news:485199eb$0$20184$4c36...@roadrunner.com...

> Q: How do you tell all the different Harley-Davidson models apart?
>
> A: By their names.

God, ain't that the truth.

Thumper
>
>
>
>

Nameless 1

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Jun 13, 2008, 2:18:07 PM6/13/08
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On Jun 13, 8:20�am, THE Rick <rbart...@gmail.com> wrote:

> The old biker replies, "Well wash your fucking hands, I want a
> cheeseburger"

My dad told me that joke 60 years ago, but he wasn't a biker. He
claimed that he told the porter on a train, "Wash your hands and face,
boy, and cook
me a hamburger."

Ant...@webtv.net

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Jun 13, 2008, 2:52:52 PM6/13/08
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A guy walks into a bar with a dead man over his shoulder.
The bartender looks at him and "Sorry sir, we don't serve necros in
here".

Vito

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Jun 13, 2008, 3:23:56 PM6/13/08
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"Nameless 1" <Rhia...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:283f719e-8c3b-4832...@x35g2000hsb.googlegroups.com...

I heard that 50 years ago two guys ordered burgers and the third a hot dog.

Ugly waitress pulls 2 burger pattys out of the freezer and puts one under
each arm, explaining its done to thaw them.

Guy 3 says "cancel that dog!"


Vito

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Jun 13, 2008, 3:29:06 PM6/13/08
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"Thumper" <road...@unclewebster.com> wrote in message
news:jNGdnfZ2Q9E5Dc_V...@earthlink.com...
Absolutely! The up side is that the dealer will prolly have the parts
needed to fix your ride on hand cuz they're all the same, instead of tearing
your bike down then waiting a week for parts.

Local rice shop deals the big four plus Triumph. Imagine his parts
nightmare. Amazingly, he still manages to keep tires, batteries and other
expendables for most models.


Beav

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Jun 14, 2008, 4:00:01 PM6/14/08
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"AlFire" <spamgrinde...@ggmail.com> wrote in message
news:48512E94...@ggmail.com...
> Hi,
>
> I am looking for good jokes as in the subject. Let me stir it up by
> throwing something which cracked me recently:
>
> Q: why cruiser bikers do not wave to sport ones
> A: because they are afraid of riding with a one hand off the bar

Q. Why doesn't Milligan ride a bike?
A. Because he's afraid of riding, period.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19


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