And it makes me wonder...
Mahakala
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why ARE Trix only for kids?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,
is he still wrong?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
--
Mahakala
*****
Only when we know little things do we know anything;
doubt grows with knowledge.
--Goethe
` Phaethon
<Mahaka...@buddhamail.removethis.net> wrote:
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
>squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
>
>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
>horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
>
>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
>him?
>
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
>why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
>
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
>point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
>Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
>going to look up there anyway?
>
> Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
>both dogs!
Goofy isn't a dog, I'm sure of it.
>
>What do you call male ballerinas?
What do *I* call male ballerinas? heh
>
> Why ARE Trix only for kids?
>
>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
>didn't he just buy dinner?
>
>Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
>
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
>vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
>If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,
>is he still wrong?
>
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
>
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
>call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
>
>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>window?
--
Phaet
"Somewhere in the swamps of Jersey"
little bunny fu-fu
@buddhamail.removethis.net says...
I think you should ask Pturd, about the alphabets. He's a good
candidate.
--
Christine
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Mahakala
>
> On Sun, 01 Sep 2002 14:50:20 GMT, Mahakala
> <Mahaka...@buddhamail.removethis.net> wrote:
> > Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
> >both dogs!
>
> Goofy isn't a dog, I'm sure of it.
> Phaet
> "Somewhere in the swamps of Jersey"
Let's see...Why does my ex wife stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!
How's that?
Blue Eyed Devil
"Mahakala" <Mahaka...@buddhamail.removethis.net> wrote in message
news:3D722898...@buddhamail.removethis.net...
> Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
If you had a nose that was 100 times more sensitive would you want to get a
whiff 'human breath'?
Bed
Phil (the Extreme One)
Mahakala <Mahaka...@buddhamail.removethis.net> finally admitted that:
>Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
>squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Someone who secretly wanted to be a baby cow.
>Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
>horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Actually that setting is for when the toaster gets older and more worn out
and doesn't toast as well as it did when it was new.
>Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Some freezers do have a light inside. The ones where the refrigerator and
freezer are side by side have a freezer light. Also bigger and more
expensive units amso have a freezer light some of the time.
> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
To sell millions of copies of a stupid record.
>Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes.
> If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,
>why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He was only smart in certain specialized areas of science.
>Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
>point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Depending on the area of town you are in, people might get the wrong
message.
>Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
>going to look up there anyway?
Because he/she is not a boob doctor.
> Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
>both dogs!
Goofy was only half dog.
>What do you call male ballerinas?
Dancers.
> Why ARE Trix only for kids?
They're not. I've bought boxes of Trix before and nobody asked if it was
for a kid or for me.
>If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why
>didn't he just buy dinner?
He was just looking for something to do with his time. The part of the
story that you were never told about is that he was also a gourmet chef and
had a very well-stocked kitchen back in his cave.
>Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
Have you been following the stock market recently?
>If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Testy.
>If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
>vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Baby dinosaurs.
>If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,
>is he still wrong?
No.
>If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Yes.
>Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
The letters can be used to make patterns. Sort of like ASCII art.
>Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
>call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
I thought of the answer to this yesterday when I was driving on the
parkway, but now I can't remember.
>Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
>you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
>window?
Maybe you can't blow hard enough to make him happy.
--
Phil
nolemurz-at-earthlink-dot-net
http://www.acmeforces.com <=== chronically incomplete
"Just once I'd like to go to a party and not be set on fire" -Dilbert
Mahakala
>
> These were good. Outta keep me busy for awhile pondering the answers.
> Is there a time limit? Prizes?
I didn't properly submit the forms to the AMS committee, so I don't know
if there are prizes. Will inner satisfaction do?
Una Fiera
news:nu17nuotobf7g8fqb...@4ax.com:
> On Sun, 01 Sep 2002 14:50:20 GMT, after hours of intense
> interrogation, Mahakala <Mahaka...@buddhamail.removethis.net>
> finally admitted that:
>
>> If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
>> him?
>
> To sell millions of copies of a stupid record.
>
********
My grandpa *loved* this song. You just aint heard it sung until you've
heard it bellowed by a 100-year-old Cuban guy with a very thick accent.
The poster formerly known as Fly
Una Fiera
news:u7e8nus0vnnvrmhlt...@4ax.com:
> Hello Fl... F... Una. This name changing is going around. Does that
> mean summer is about over?
>
It is going around, isn't it? /giggles/ I'm not sure what it means,
though.
Phaethon
<la...@budweiser.com> wrote:
>On Tue, 03 Sep 2002 04:11:29 -0000, Una Fiera <I'm...@mywitsend.com>
>wrote:
>
>>My grandpa *loved* this song.
>
>I never had a grandpa. :-(
aww...
Hey, I know one you could have.
Una Fiera
"Moonbug" <la...@budweiser.com> wrote in message
news:v3c9nus3n04m2lk8g...@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 03 Sep 2002 04:11:29 -0000, Una Fiera <I'm...@mywitsend.com>
> wrote:
>
> >My grandpa *loved* this song.
>
> I never had a grandpa. :-(
>
**********
Mine died a litte over a year ago. He was the best...always made me feel
like his favorite. I still miss him a bunch. If he were still here, I
would share him with you.
--
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody
Allen
--
"No, Mommy. I'm not laughing *with* you, I'm laughing *at* you.
DS, age 3
Blue Eyed Devil
"Una Fiera" <I'm...@mywitsend.com> wrote in message
news:unbnmd5...@corp.supernews.com...
>
>
> "Moonbug" <la...@budweiser.com> wrote in message
> news:v3c9nus3n04m2lk8g...@4ax.com...
> > On Tue, 03 Sep 2002 04:11:29 -0000, Una Fiera <I'm...@mywitsend.com>
> > wrote:
> >
> > >My grandpa *loved* this song.
> >
> > I never had a grandpa. :-(
> >
> **********
> Mine died a litte over a year ago. He was the best...always made me feel
> like his favorite. I still miss him a bunch. If he were still here, I
> would share him with you.
I was blessed with 3 grandpas and I love them all dearly. Sadly they all
have passed away and I also miss them tremendously. They were good people
that our world needs.
Bed
Blue Eyed Devil
> On Wed, 4 Sep 2002 15:03:09 -0500, "Blue Eyed Devil"
> <Blue_Eyed_DevilATmindspringDotCom> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Una Fiera" <I'm...@mywitsend.com> wrote in message
> >news:unbnmd5...@corp.supernews.com...
> >>
> >>
> >> "Moonbug" <la...@budweiser.com> wrote in message
> >> news:v3c9nus3n04m2lk8g...@4ax.com...
> >> > On Tue, 03 Sep 2002 04:11:29 -0000, Una Fiera <I'm...@mywitsend.com>
> >> > wrote:
> >> >
> >> > >My grandpa *loved* this song.
> >> >
> >> > I never had a grandpa. :-(
> >> >
> >> **********
> >> Mine died a litte over a year ago. He was the best...always made me
feel
> >> like his favorite. I still miss him a bunch. If he were still here, I
> >> would share him with you.
> >
> >I was blessed with 3 grandpas and I love them all dearly. Sadly they all
> >have passed away and I also miss them tremendously. They were good
people
> >that our world needs.
>
Well, two of them are through me...and their other respective grandchildren.
Bed