Ideologies

[Mikal]

I think this has done the rounds before not only does it amuse me but there
is more than a grain of truth.

Ideologies (using cows)
Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn
with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The
government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of
the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The
government gives you as much milk & eggs the regulations say you need.
Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of
them, and sells you the milk.
Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you
all share the milk.
Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbours. You and your neighbours bicker
about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile,
no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government
takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it
on the black market.
Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes
all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the
"free" market.
Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever
existed. Milk is banned.
Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the
milk.
British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps brains and they go mad. The
government doesn't do anything.
Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed
them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then
it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.
Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbours take the cows & kill you.
Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows,
because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
Environmentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the
phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged
(but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.

(borrowed from another group)