Re: Assatolly kockamamie
Guv Bob
On Jun 20, 3:56 pm, joevan <joevanud...@vanudity.com> wrote:
> Looks like he might not be around Iran for much longer if things keep
> going as they are now. Supreme beings on this earth are not long in
> power it would seem.
>Is the Guv Bob the Iyatolla of this NG?
Welp! I thank I kin asser that question in a pichure (I swiped it from the 2007 Mensa test exam -- don't turn me in!)...
http://www.yousendit.com/download/cmcyNU1JQTZwcFVLSkE9PQ
Shy Picker
wrote:
> "Shy Picker" <ShyPic...@aol.com> wrote
Which won is yew?
The Mensa bunch is mostly banjo players, hain't they?
David (Guv Bob is to be known from this day forward as Ayatoldya Bob)
Guv Bob
wrote:
> "Shy Picker" <ShyPic...@aol.com> wrote
> On Jun 20, 3:56 pm, joevan <joevanud...@vanudity.com> wrote:
>
> > Looks like he might not be around Iran for much longer if things keep
> > going as they are now. Supreme beings on this earth are not long in
> > power it would seem.
> >Is the Guv Bob the Iyatolla of this NG?
>
> Welp! I thank I kin asser that question in a pichure (I swiped it from the 2007 Mensa test exam -- don't turn me in!)...http://www.yousendit.com/download/cmcyNU1JQTZwcFVLSkE9PQ
>Which won is yew?
Why, the good lookin won uh coarse! (Sheesh!)
>The Mensa bunch is mostly banjo players, hain't they?
Yeah, mostly banjer players. I herd that they no longer requar Goober Pyle pants at meetings butt yew dew have to wear shoes (and socks).
Guv Bob
=============================================
NEERG SERCA EMEHT AND THE MENSA SQUATARAMA
(From "Fifteen Days in a Lion's Cage" by Claude Balls)
=============================================
Note: Mensa members (you no hoo yew are) will all reddy no this scents they perform it before, during and after each of their top sekrit meetings. Non-Mensas continue on and learn the hidden truths of the 56-fold path to Mensahood....
Before attempting the Squatarama, it is advisable for yew ignert hillbillies to become knowlidguble about The Mensa Story, as found hyur... http://tinyurl.com/TheMensaStory.
And now....
==================================
THE SQUATARAMA RITUAL PROCEDURE
==================================
1. Body, clothes and place must be fairly clean or at least not smell too bad. Sweep up any fried chicken bones you slopped on the floor at lunch. Place a metal bucket on the floor with a few nice biscuits (made raht with Marthy White - yes ma'am) for snacking later in case you git threw before the others. Place a large hammer by the bucket.
2. Limit the number of far crackers in the vicinity to 47. No churry bombs.
3. Women: The lookers are required to cover their hair, but that's all. Ugly ones can show their hair butt must cover ever thang else. Use plenty of duck tape to avoid slippage.
4. Turn and face the nearest Waffle House. If they ain't none, Bojangles or any Piggly Wiggly is fine. Any swap meet is 4th choice.
5. Stand tall, head down, one hand up, one hand down, look up, look down, look at my thumb, gee yore dumb! (Hyuk hyuk.... a little Mensa humer there.)
6. In a solemn manner (ie, no scratching or telling jokes) recite the Neerg Serca Emeht. (words see below)*
7. Then eat the biscuits, but the bucket over yore haid and march to the Waffle House banging on the bucket with the large hammer.
* Neerg Serca Emeht
As customary, all official Mensa writings are transmitted in code. To decipher the sekrit code, (a) replace "YEEOOW" with "e". (b) Replace "OU812" with "a". (c) Replace LARRYISABUFFOON with " " (space). This is intended to discourage the stupid people.)
MYEEOOWnsOU812LARRYISABUFFOONisLARRYISABUFFOONthYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONplOU812cYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONforLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
FOU812rmLARRYISABUFFOONlivin'LARRYISABUFFOONisLARRYISABUFFOONthYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONlifYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONforLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
LOU812ndLARRYISABUFFOONsprYEEOOWOU812din'LARRYISABUFFOONoutLARRYISABUFFOONsoLARRYISABUFFOONfOU812rLARRYISABUFFOONOU812ndLARRYISABUFFOONwidYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOON
KYEEOOWYEEOOWpLARRYISABUFFOONMOU812nhOU812ttOU812n,LARRYISABUFFOONjustLARRYISABUFFOONgivYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONthOU812tLARRYISABUFFOONcountrysidYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
NYEEOOWwLARRYISABUFFOONYorkLARRYISABUFFOONisLARRYISABUFFOONwhYEEOOWrYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONI'dLARRYISABUFFOONrOU812thYEEOOWrLARRYISABUFFOONstOU812y.LARRYISABUFFOON
ILARRYISABUFFOONgYEEOOWtLARRYISABUFFOONOU812llYEEOOWrgicLARRYISABUFFOONsmYEEOOWllingLARRYISABUFFOONhOU812y.LARRYISABUFFOON
ILARRYISABUFFOONjustLARRYISABUFFOONOU812dorYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONOU812LARRYISABUFFOONpYEEOOWnthousYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONviYEEOOWw.LARRYISABUFFOON
DOU812h-lingLARRYISABUFFOONILARRYISABUFFOONlovYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONyouLARRYISABUFFOONbutLARRYISABUFFOONgivYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONPOU812rkLARRYISABUFFOONOU812vYEEOOWnuYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
...ThYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONchorYEEOOWs.LARRYISABUFFOON
...ThYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONstorYEEOOWs.LARRYISABUFFOON
...FrYEEOOWshLARRYISABUFFOONOU812ir.LARRYISABUFFOON
...TimYEEOOWsLARRYISABUFFOONSquOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOON
YouLARRYISABUFFOONOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmyLARRYISABUFFOONwifYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
GoodLARRYISABUFFOONbyYEEOOW,LARRYISABUFFOONcityLARRYISABUFFOONlifYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
MYEEOOWnsOU812LARRYISABUFFOONwYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONthYEEOOWrYEEOOW.
Shy Picker
wrote:
> >David (Guv Bob is to be known from this day forward as Ayatoldya Bob)
>
> Raht! Now lissen up....and practice this, "David"...
>
> =============================================
> NEERG SERCA EMEHT AND THE MENSA SQUATARAMA
> (From "Fifteen Days in a Lion's Cage" by Claude Balls)
> =============================================
>
> Note: Mensa members (you no hoo yew are) will all reddy no this scents they perform it before, during and after each of their top sekrit meetings. Non-Mensas continue on and learn the hidden truths of the 56-fold path to Mensahood....
>
Hmmm, Ah no spika dat langwich.
Hain't them MENSA meets whar they recite the follerin?
I'm a Man
But I can change
If I have too
I guess.
Guv Bob
---
ShyPicker? Yew ain't gonna git into the Menser group like that. Ain't no shiftless lazy folks hanging round the Menser bars. Yew best decipher that code and git yore mind raht or you best go change to/from a man (whichever is appropriate). And no matter which choice you make, bee shore tew avoid starchy foods.
jl
wrote:
> "Shy Picker" <ShyPic...@aol.com> wrote in messagenews:cdc9b170-d8fa-45ed...@k8g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
>
> On Jun 22, 8:07 pm, "Guv Bob" <brotherd...@YEEEEOOOOWWWbigfoot.com>
> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > >David (Guv Bob is to be known from this day forward as Ayatoldya Bob)
>
> > Raht! Now lissen up....and practice this, "David"...
>
> > =============================================
> > NEERG SERCA EMEHT AND THE MENSA SQUATARAMA
> > (From "Fifteen Days in a Lion's Cage" by Claude Balls)
> > =============================================
>
> > Note: Mensa members (you no hoo yew are) will all reddy no this scents they perform it before, during and after each of their top sekrit meetings. Non-Mensas continue on and learn the hidden truths of the 56-fold path to Mensahood....
>
> > Before attempting the Squatarama, it is advisable for yew ignert hillbillies to become knowlidguble about The Mensa Story, as found hyur...http://tinyurl.com/TheMensaStory.
>
> > And now....
>
> > ==================================
> > THE SQUATARAMA RITUAL PROCEDURE
> > ==================================
>
> > 1. Body, clothes and place must be fairly clean or at least not smell too bad. Sweep up any fried chicken bones you slopped on the floor at lunch. Place a metal bucket on the floor with a few nice biscuits (made raht with Marthy White - yes ma'am) for snacking later in case you git threw before the others. Place a large hammer by the bucket.
>
> > 2. Limit the number of far crackers in the vicinity to 47. No churry bombs.
>
> > 3. Women: The lookers are required to cover their hair, but that's all. Ugly ones can show their hair butt must cover ever thang else. Use plenty of duck tape to avoid slippage.
>
> > 4. Turn and face the nearest Waffle House. If they ain't none, Bojangles or any Piggly Wiggly is fine. Any swap meet is 4th choice.
>
> > 5. Stand tall, head down, one hand up, one hand down, look up, look down, look at my thumb, gee yore dumb! (Hyuk hyuk.... a little Mensa humer there.)
>
> > 6. In a solemn manner (ie, no scratching or telling jokes) recite the Neerg Serca Emeht. (words see below)*
>
> > 7. Then eat the biscuits, but the bucket over yore haid and march to the Waffle House banging on the bucket with the large hammer.
>
> > * Neerg Serca Emeht
>
> > As customary, all official Mensa writings are transmitted in code. To decipher the sekrit code, (a) replace "YEEOOW" with "e". (b) Replace "OU812" with "a". (c) Replace LARRYISABUFFOON with " " (space). This is intended to discourage the stupid people.)
>
> > FOU812rmLARRYISABUFFOONlivin'LARRYISABUFFOONisLARRYISABUFFOONthYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONlifYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONforLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > LOU812ndLARRYISABUFFOONsprYEEOOWOU812din'LARRYISABUFFOONoutLARRYISABUFFOONsoLARRYISABUFFOONfOU812rLARRYISABUFFOONOU812ndLARRYISABUFFOONwidYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOON
> > KYEEOOWYEEOOWpLARRYISABUFFOONMOU812nhOU812ttOU812n,LARRYISABUFFOONjustLARRYISABUFFOONgivYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONthOU812tLARRYISABUFFOONcountrysidYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
>
> > NYEEOOWwLARRYISABUFFOONYorkLARRYISABUFFOONisLARRYISABUFFOONwhYEEOOWrYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONI'dLARRYISABUFFOONrOU812thYEEOOWrLARRYISABUFFOONstOU812y.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > ILARRYISABUFFOONgYEEOOWtLARRYISABUFFOONOU812llYEEOOWrgicLARRYISABUFFOONsmYEEOOWllingLARRYISABUFFOONhOU812y.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > ILARRYISABUFFOONjustLARRYISABUFFOONOU812dorYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONOU812LARRYISABUFFOONpYEEOOWnthousYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONviYEEOOWw.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > DOU812h-lingLARRYISABUFFOONILARRYISABUFFOONlovYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONyouLARRYISABUFFOONbutLARRYISABUFFOONgivYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONPOU812rkLARRYISABUFFOONOU812vYEEOOWnuYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
>
> > ...ThYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONchorYEEOOWs.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > ...ThYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONstorYEEOOWs.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > ...FrYEEOOWshLARRYISABUFFOONOU812ir.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > ...TimYEEOOWsLARRYISABUFFOONSquOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOON
>
> > YouLARRYISABUFFOONOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONmyLARRYISABUFFOONwifYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > GoodLARRYISABUFFOONbyYEEOOW,LARRYISABUFFOONcityLARRYISABUFFOONlifYEEOOW.LARRYISABUFFOON
> > MYEEOOWnsOU812LARRYISABUFFOONwYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONOU812rYEEOOWLARRYISABUFFOONthYEEOOWrYEEOOW.
>
> Hmmm, Ah no spika dat langwich.
>
> Hain't them MENSA meets whar they recite the follerin?
>
> I'm a Man
> But I can change
> If I have too
> I guess.
>
> ---
>
>
> - Show quoted text -
Wilston plays the theme to Green Acres, grits his teeth, scratches his
arse, and remembers with fierce hatred how he applied for MENSA and
was peremptorily rejected.
Shy Picker
wrote:
> "Shy Picker" <ShyPic...@aol.com> wrote in messagenews:cdc9b170-d8fa-45ed...@k8g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
Yew might wont to show some respect fer yer elders and not make sech
idol threats like that there. I spent some time in one of them Mensar
Bars oncet uppona time and I got kicked out fer pointin and laughing.
Shy Picker
I have it on good authority that when Iyatolla Bob wanted to take the
Mensa test, they performed an unprecedented move by engaging in a
preemptive strike on the Bob Compound and denied his entry before he
even took the test.
Most telling is this quote from the Mensa head boss at the time,
Jethro DeBodine, when he got the word that Iyatolla Bob, then Guv Bob,
was going to take the entry test. I think his exact words was "Ohhhh!"
followed by much fainting and wringing of hands but not in that
order.