Looking for Tjames
Alex Suter
--
Alex Suter
Formerly Lupus Yonderboy
Should probably make a real sig at some point
David DeLaney
>Remember when we were young, and the fields were full of Tjames?
shine on you craaaazy callback!
Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from d...@vic.com "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Jeff Gerstmann
> Remember when we were young, and the fields were full of Tjames?
If I still had the .au file of Tjames shouting "eat a bowl of fuck" into
a telephone, this might be the part where I'd link to it.
But I don't think Usenet supports "explicit lyrics, do not listen unless
you are a current or former member of the 2 Live Crew" tags. So that
would be irresponsible.
Instead, here is the most recent version of the alt.usenet.tjames FAQ,
which I dug out of the Wayback Machine.
*************
alt.usenet.tjames FAQ
version 0.9e (10/18/97)
Introduction
************
alt.usenet.tjames was newgrouped on 5/31/95 in honor of Tjames Madison,
Usenet's current superhero. He has the ability to break the Internet at
will, and he frequently does so.
Click here to hear the alt.usenet.tjames motto of the decade as spoken
by the man himself, Tjames Madison.
For those of you too lazy to click on the stupid thing, this decade's
motto is "Eat A Bowl Of Fuck."
The Rest Of The FAQ
*******************
* Why does he have a group and I don't?
Because unlike you, you little freak, Tjames has the ability to post in
large amounts and remain interesting 80% of the time. He also has
incriminating photos of John Madden taking on a horse inside the Madden
Cruiser.
* Where can I get these photos?
Rumor has it that if you send all your money to
Tjames Madison
San Francisco
he may send you a glossy 8x10. Wallet size pictures are also available.
Be sure to send him candy so he can get in the Book of World Records for
having the most candy.
* So what purpose does aut serve?
It contains exactly 1/4 of alt.religion.kibology and 1/8 of
alt.culture.jesse-garon. The group is Tjames' Crosspostin' Clearin'
House, and that's the way it was meant to be, Sparky.
* What does Tjames do when he isn't being Usenet Superguy?
He has been known to wander around his apartment with no pants on. He
lives off the land, and lives off it right, damn it. He has also been
known to take a job here and there, but that's probably just a rumor.
* Why does that picture scare me?
Because Tjames is coming to kill you in your sleep. He'll kill you slow,
the Indiana way.
* When Tjames stops posting, what does it mean?
You probably just aren't checking the Disneyland or baseball newsgroups.
* Why does this FAQ never get updated?
Because I haven't spoken with Tjames in over a year. I keep meaning to
call or write him, but I keep forgetting.
* What did Tjames Madison ever do for you, anyway?
He taught me that tacos without lettuce are the way to go. And they are.
The way to go, that is.
* What does Usenet Celeb "Jesse Garon" have to say about Tjames?
"All I know is that I can walk down to McAllister Street, stand outside
the building where he lives, and yell, "Madison!" really loud, then go
into the coffeehouse on the ground floor and wait. By the time I have my
drink in hand, Tjames has entered the room and is ready for action."
Now you will send me stories and recollections about your brushes with
Tjames so I can post them here.
--
J"ef"f Gerstmann
IHNJH, IJLS "ef."
Alex Suter
>Now you will send me stories and recollections about your brushes with
>Tjames so I can post them here.
For a while I was emailing him about setting up a Kibology
MOO. He thought that using Scooby Snacks as the currency was
funny. It never went anywhere, because I was distracted by
being crazy.
I met Tjames in person when I was moderately less crazy and
driving across the country in 1998 and he was living with LisaP
in Denver. The city, not the John. He was a really funny guy.
The Tjames, not the John.
Despite rumors, he did not:
* Dress up like a buttless chapped Batman.
That's about it. The rest of the rumors were true. To be fair,
I think I was the one spreading the Batman rumor. LisaP was
then, and probably still is, a major hottie. Her kid was nice.
I played some racing video game against him and TOTALLY WHIPPED
HIS ASS because he was like 7 or something and I was mid-20s.
That part is not about Tjames, but remains a stone cold fact,
the kind courts admit as evidence.
I really liked that Tjames, and have been trying to locate
him so I can say, "Remember that time you dressed up as Batman,
but with buttless chaps," and he can say, "No."
--
Alex "Yonderboy" Suter
I tried to get Yonderboy on Xbox Live but some wanker had
already taken it like five years earlier. SO CLOSE!
plorkwort
Alex Suter <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
>For a while I was emailing him about setting up a Kibology
>MOO. He thought that using Scooby Snacks as the currency was
>funny. It never went anywhere, because I was distracted by
>being crazy.
The bartender on the current Kibology MOO (who turned into
a samurai recently), still does not have Scooby Snacks on the menu,
although one can obtain Tang, Mentos, Animal 57, Sanbitter, etc.
plorkwort.
--
This is a "how many accordions can you fit in a Prius" situation.