Gains & Losses
Deb
affects, everything in our lives. We lose the ability to participate in many
things we've loved all our days. It's easy to form a very negative attitude
towards life and the challenges we face due to our illness(es).
One coping skill I've developed is to find something to replace what I've
lost. I invite all my FMily to add to this thread your gains and losses. If
we focus on "can" instead of "can't" maybe we can help each other to realize
we all make valuable contributions to society every day...in spite of our
disease.
There's one, and only one, rule when participating in this thread! YOU CAN'T
USE THE NG AS YOUR GAIN! We all know it's a gain or we wouldn't be here! So
let's have fun with this OK?
LOSS: I was a very avid outdoors-woman. I was passionate about my outdoors
activities of fishing, hunting, primitive camping, cross-country biking,
hiking in the Minnesota woods in the summer and snow-shoing in the winter,
cross-country skiing...there's more but I'm sure you have the picture. I was
devastated when I lost my ability to participate in those activities.
GAIN: I discovered I have natural creative, and artistic, talents. I've
taken up oil painting, taught myself to crochet, I make beautiful floral
arrangements, I have decorated some of my friends homes, I paint ceramics, I
cross-stitch and silk ribbon embroider, I make porcelain angels and
Victorian dolls. I love to make these items for people I care about and
watch their faces when they open the gift. When I look around my home and
see the beautiful things I've made I get the same sense of contentment and
peace my outdoor activities gave me!
I challenge my FMily members to share what's making a difference in your
life. What gifts has FMS given you?
Smiles across the miles - Deb
patty
I miss all sorts of physical things, plus I can no longer sit at an easel to
paint, or make tapes of favorite music, etc. DDD in neck and back. However, I
do enjoy beauty, to look at, to smell, to hear and feel.
What I'm impressed with, is your creative abilities! Super!. It's such a great
feeling to see evidence of one's own creativity.
You can send me samples of your work, anytime<G>
Best to you, BetsyD
Deb wrote:
--
MZ
J52poss
depression because I had associated my worth with my ability to "do." So my
gains are great peace and a deep understanding of my worth as a "being." I
have disconnected from the western, North American idea of materialistic effort
and gain. Best of all, I am no longer over-functioning, over-responsible,
care-taking. I do care-giving, often say no even though people are
disappointed. Later they tell me that by taking care of myself, they have felt
they have persmission to care for themselves. As a result, I have much more
quiet time and enjoy my own company.
Recently, in prayer, I felt God asked if I was willing to have this
illness taken away (!). Willing? I would have thought I was eager to have
this gone. But when I thought about it, I thought, no, not yet. I am not yet
strong enough in pacing myself, in taking quiet time away, and especially in
saying NO without the "excuse" of being sick or having to guard my energy.
If and when I am well again, I would like to use the energy for outdoor
physical activity--much like you used to. I tried ocean Kayaking last winter
and found it is something I can do in gentle waters.
(I have had fibro for 12 years or so and generally do quite well if I watch
it.) Warmly, Wendy
WVCooks
more money than my husband and I only worked 3 1/2 days per week), abundant
energy and sleep!! and my mind (fibrofog)!
Gained: More time with my family, more time to piddle in my flowers, time to
read, time to take a Bible Study, am home when my son comes home from school(no
more daycare)!
30+ pounds(HaHaHa)
Victoria Lee Hirt
the home.
Gain - Learning how to work from home, meeting tons of new people
through it. When you're a Webmaster in a SMALL town it seems knows
who you are. I went in for my pap last month and gave my name to the
receptionist. "Oh, you're the Webmaster."
Now watch birds as they eat from the feeders. Didn't have "time"
before. Do you know there lots of different kinds of woodpeckers?
They are SO funny!
Designing Web pages. It's part of my job but I REALLY love doing it.
A real appreciation for my friends. They have stuck with me though
all of this and that means a lot. Last summer four of us went on an
overnight trip. Usually I come back from those ready to be in bed a
week. But the kindness they showed made the trip so easy I felt fine
the next day.
By biggest "gain" is my husband. He pays close attention to what I'm
doing and is usually the first to notice if I begin to get too tired
or have done too much. He's my biggest blessing.
Victoria "Lee"
alt.med.fibromyalgia ng info:
http://scican.net/~haxton/FMily/work.htm - work at home
http://www.scican.net/~haxton/FMily/FMily.htm - bios
http://www.aapainmanage.org/ - American Academy of Pain Management
Angel
I love......much sleep......
I've gained a new respect for people who are in chronic
pain......respect for my doctor who diagnosed me on my first
visit.....a thorough knowledge of the internet......many new friends,
a lot through this support group.....and the knowledge that today is
what counts.....ten pounds.....
Angel
"We are each of us angels with only one wing,
and we can only fly by embracing one another."
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Remove the * to reply
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Mbv31
"Deb" <fms...@thequest.net> writes:
>I challenge my FMily members to share what's making a difference in your
>life. What gifts has FMS given you?
>
>Smiles across the miles - Deb
Okay Deb, I'm game.
--GAINS --
1. Due to this DD I no longer work "outside the home." BECAUSE of that:
2. Due to this DD I was able to help my mother stay in her home for the three
months it took this summer for her broken back to heal sufficently to get
around herself. I managed, with the help of my hubbyespecially on really bad
flare days, to provide three wholesome meals each day, to keep some semblance
of cleanliness in her home, to help with my father's needs, and to enjoy
extended visits to my wonderful parents.
3. Also due to this DD I am now able to stay with my father who needs 24/7
care due to strokes and blindness. (Mom died in September)
4. Due to this DD I have had the time (since I'm not working at my career) to
really enjoy the growth of my two granddaughters through visits, occasional
babysitting and overnights.
5, 6, 7++. Due to this DD I have become heavily involved in politics, met new
friends, visited many museums, read many many fine books, and generally spent
quality time with people I like to be with.
--LOSSES --
In 1987 at the age of 41 I graduated from college with honors. My family were
proud of me and I thoroughly enjoyed the idea of now getting into a career of
my own. My daughters were all busy with goals of their own and had grown past
the stages of needing Mom constantly. By 1990 I was experiencing more and more
problems with extreme pain and fatigue. My personal life was filled with
trying to get some respite while my professional life was becoming a heavy
burden. Finally, I was forced to give up this "career" I had worked so hard to
start.
2. I had been a walker before it became the fashion around this area. I
usually walked 3 miles a day with 5 miles on weekends. By 1991 I was lucky to
walk from my bedroom to my porch to lie down on the sofa.
3. I had led an active volunteer life and made many friends during the
process. I suddenly found that I was forgetting meetings, not feeling capable
of following through on what I would have considered simple tasks before this
DD. My reputation as someone to count on was becoming ruined.
4. My husband began to wonder if I was ever out of bed more than 2 or 3 hours
at a time. Yet I was always "too tired, sorry" ... My daughters began to
forget they had had an active mother and voiced discontent with this woman who
was always "not feeling well."
5. One medication I was on created a serious problem with depression creating
suicidal thoughts. (NOT a fun person to be with!)
6. My life turned upside down ... I live with daily pain ...
Personally, the Gains outstrip the Losses. I have a different life than I had
imagined but that different life has a great deal of blessings in it. Taking
time to see my world is one of the major blessings ... I have time!
Maureen
"One Day At A Time" M. B. V.
Yvonne
I have a problem that is driving me bonkers and making it even MORE
difficult to sleep. I have an extremely sore trigger point in my upper
right buttock that seems to be causing my hip muscles and the muscles on the
outside of my thigh and calf to cramp, as well as my foot, which in turn
must be pinching a nerve and making my toe tingle. I can put up with the
pain and cramping but I just can't sleep with that darn little toe tingling!
Has anyone had a similar experience? Does anyone have any ideas for dealing
with this problem? I'm starting to panic since we're supposed to be leaving
for a week long vacation (something I rarely get to do) on Wednesday. Any
suggestions would be much appreciated.
Thanks so much and do take care,
Yvonne
des...@koyote.com
I have lost a lot of the physical abilities I used to have, especially when
it comes to lfting and carrying. I have also lost some endurance, so i can't
keep going as long as before.
My gains? Now those have been many.
I know I am not my disease. I am just someone who has had to asjust their
life stye somewhat, but I am still me.
I know how much my husband really loves me. As I have gotten worse, he has
gotten better.
I have a new empathy for others, and am learning not to judge by appearences.
No matter what that appearence may be.
I have found a new place of peace and tranquailty inside me.
I now have time to really enjoy the sunrises, sunsets, rainbows and simply
living.
Each day has become precious to me. I have found a new joy in simply being
alive.
I have met so many wonderful people, especially here. I absolutely would not
trade all the love I have found in thoe friends for anything. Not even for
pain free days. The love is much more important, the pain a small price to
pay.
I am also learning to really love myself, just as I am or I am not.
I'm sure there is more, but this is long enough.
Dej
--
Life should be what we make of it, not what it makes of us.
IM screen name - Miss Dej
ICQ # 18790975
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margaret zimmermann
confusion, inaccurate diagnosis, depression, and inactivity. I've lost
my faith in the greatness of modern medicine, the caring of the health
care industry, and even my faith in institutional religion
Then...........................................
Somewhere along the line, I began to like myself and trust my instincts.
I began to believe I could have a happy life. I recognized the love
that I have around me, and learned to recognize those who did not
project love. I grew to respect the fragility of all life, and accept
that pain and death were part of it. I discovered I am not just my
body. I found my soul again and committed myself to nurturing that part
of me. I developed a great respect for alternative medicine and for
spiritual
approaches to healing and have just begun to educate myself about them.
Really when I look at it, the time that I thought was lost was needed
for me to begin a different life.
Wishing you peace~Margaret
MAWired
>pain and cramping but I just can't sleep with that darn little toe tingling!
I sometimes have problems with tingling toes and about the only thing that does
any good is to stretch the foot... basically I stand up and then raise my heel
so I'm standing on the ball of the affected foot. That and scrunching my toes
up and undoing them helps alot.
Thumper... Oh Majestic Goddess of the Martial Arts
http://pages.prodigy.com/thumpersworld/fibrom.htm - FMS page
http://members.aol.com/fibrodo - The Way Of The Fog
Grow your own dope... plant a man
DonaLee Echols
toes will cramp and move to the side. Drinking more water helps, and
defintely bending over and stretching helps me walk again, at least to the
car. Sometimes bending over in the mall is alittle embarassing... donalee
in Ft. Worth, TX
Yvonne <ne...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in article
<72kqls$f...@sjx-ixn3.ix.netcom.com>...
> Greetings All (she stretches as she comes out of lurking),
>
> I have a problem that is driving me bonkers and making it even MORE
> difficult to sleep. I have an extremely sore trigger point in my upper
> right buttock that seems to be causing my hip muscles and the muscles on
the
> outside of my thigh and calf to cramp, as well as my foot, which in turn
> must be pinching a nerve and making my toe tingle. I can put up with the
> pain and cramping but I just can't sleep with that darn little toe
tingling!