OT-music jokes
lightlady
Banjo Jokes
What's the difference between a banjo and a chain saw?
The chain saw has greater dynamic range.
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What's the least-used sentence in the English language?
"Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"
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What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise?"
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There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, unless of course
it's the sound of a chicken caught in a vacuum cleaner.
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Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping
mall: "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string."
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How many country & western singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one.
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What happens if you play blues music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of
prison
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How many sound men does it take to change a light bulb?
"One, two, three, one, two, three..."
"Hey man, I just do sound."
One. Upon finding no replacement, he takes the original apart, repairs it
with a chewing gum wrapper and duct tape, changes the screw mount to bayonet
mount, finds an appropriate patch cable, and re-installs the bulb fifty feet
from where it should have been, to the satisfaction of the rest of the band.
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How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
12,001. One to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures of it,
and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out.
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How many punk-rock musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his
forehead.
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--
lampy
Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!
LoriB.o.B.
ROFLMAO...Thanx for the outright guffaw, (((((((Lampy))))))))!!!!!!!!
I got a whole book at a banjo concert once but dang...one of my former
band members swiped it!!
I remember: Guy goes into bar leavin' his banjo in his car. Suddenly
he jumps up, nearly spills his drink, runs out to the car & sure as
hell.....
there's 20 more banjos in it!
Kidn'ly,
LoriB.o.B.
***********
Vashti
> BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! SPLLUURRTT (& no warnin'???!!!)
> ROFLMAO...Thanx for the outright guffaw, (((((((Lampy))))))))!!!!!!!!
From me too! :-)
> I got a whole book at a banjo concert once but dang...one of my former
> band members swiped it!!
> I remember: Guy goes into bar leavin' his banjo in his car. Suddenly
> he jumps up, nearly spills his drink, runs out to the car & sure as
> hell.....
> there's 20 more banjos in it!
Ah, one of my fave Banjokes<g>... never happened to us thank goodness but
we do have a *lot* of trouble with lightbulbs! ;-)
From a post of mine(15 May 2005):
http://www.bluegrassbanjo.org/jokes.html
From the Canonical List Of Banjo Jokes:
(http://www.bluegrassbanjo.org/banjokes.html)
What will you never say about a banjo player? That's the banjo player's
Porsche.
How can you get a banjo player's eyes to sparkle? Shine a light in her
ears...
How can you tell a herd of banjo players from a bunch of grapes?
Jump up and down on them? If you get wine, you've got grapes!
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if, after
surgery, I would be able to play the banjo. He said, "I'm doing surgery
on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."
"Doctor, doctor will I be able to play the banjo after the operation?"
"Yes, of course?"
"Great! I never could before?"
What's the best or fastest way to tune a banjo?
With wirecutters.
How is lightning like a banjo player's fingers?
Neither one strikes in the same place twice.
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
Took him three hours to get the banjo player out...
Why don't banjo players get to take breaks between sets?
It takes them too long to retune.
How do you define an optimist?
A banjo player with a beeper!
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter as long as everyone gets a turn!
How can you tell if the stage is level? If the banjo player drools out
of both sides of his mouth.
*** More on the website ***
--
Vashti
fran
Oooh Cold!--fran
LoriB.o.B.
Good 'un ((Vashti))!!
Kidn'ly,
LoriB.o.B.
**********
René
"got it!" What did I get? Well, your ng name (Lightlady, Lampy, etc.) and
why you know all the best light bulb jokes.
I know what you did in your "olden days" (sorry!) and that you've probably
changed more light bulbs than any of us on the ng.
Duh! I'm a dummy.
René
"lightlady" <m...@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:4jd387F...@individual.net...
René
lot of jokes, When I worked, everybody teased me about it and had to
explain the dirty jokes to me.
René
"LoriB.o.B." <banj...@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:1154575482.0...@i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
lightlady
and it's ok about not 'getting it' sooner lol i don't always kbnow who i am
anyways ;-)
lampy, aka light lady, aka the one who's"Squint"ing at things, aka the gal
with all the lightbulbs LOL
"René" <My.P...@mchsi.com> wrote in message
news:xbtAg.874064$084.525957@attbi_s22...