Chicken jokes needed
TricRic
I am working on a routine with a rubber chicken and need as many bits of
business and jokes that I can get my hands on. Your help will be greatly
appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Jaybird
tri...@aol.com (TricRic) wrote:
>Thank you in advance.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Why did (insert your favorite politician here) NOT cross the road?
He WAS a chicken.
Two Chickens were out in the front yard because they overheard that a
construction crew was going to lay asphalt, and they wanted to see how
it was done.
Over heard in the Barnyard, upon viewing an orange for the first time:
Baby Chick "Look at the orange mama laid!"
How do you sell a deaf guy a chicken?
WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!
A Lady & her friend were walking down the street when they spy a
chicken. The chicken says, "Hey lady, if you kiss me on my beak, I'll
turn into Bill Clinton." One lady picks up the chicken and puts it in
her gym bag. Her friend says, "Hey, don't you want to kiss the
chicken and restore our president?" The woman replies, "Nah, I'd
rather have a talking chicken."
Dr. C. M. Colley
In article <5d5p58$c...@ash.ridgecrest.ca.us>, Jaybird
<jay...@ridgecrest.ca.us> writes
>tri...@aol.com (TricRic) wrote:
>
>>I am working on a routine with a rubber chicken and need as many bits of
>>business and jokes that I can get my hands on. Your help will be greatly
>>appreciated.
>
>>Thank you in advance.
>
>Why did the chicken cross the road?
>To get to the other side.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children (like these
jokes!)
--
Michael
Dr. C. M. Colley
Consultant Magical Entertainer and Indexer
The Man with the ABRA Index
cmco...@pmhcpath.demon.co.uk
"ars est celare artem"
Walter and/or Annie
foot.
SjsGimp
Why did the chicken stop halfway across the road?
She wanted to "lay it on the line".
Why did the turtle cros the road?
To get to the Shell station!
SJS...@aol.com.
chicken guy of akron ohio
Be careful, before you know it the chicken will take over your life!
Don't forget the classic- container with 1 real egg and 11 rubber
ones. Drop the real egg - to prove its real then launch all 11 into
the audience.
Jack
>Why did the chicken cross the road?
>To get to the other side.
>It was the chicken's day off.
>Why did the rooster cross the road?
>It was stapled to the chicken.
>Why did (insert your favorite politician here) NOT cross the road?
>He WAS a chicken.
Two others depending on the room:
Why did Sid Vicious cross the road?
He was safety-pinned to the chicken. (Works for 70's class reunions)
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His (insert nickname for penis here) was stuck in the chicken.
Mattias Andersson
> Why did the turtle cros the road?
> To get to the Shell station!
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
_________________
Mattias Andersson
mand...@sfu.ca
chicken guy of akron ohio
These yolks are so funny they deserve a pullet-zer prize.